If You Take Him Back E-Book

Suzann Dodd

• Herausgeber: BookRix
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2021

Beschreibung

This is for the woman who was betrayed.  The woman who has decided to give her betrayer another chance.

Giving him another chance is not the issue, returning to who you were before the betrayal, continuing to carry anger and pain is the issue.

Hopefully, these ideas will be of some value.

Leseprobe

Suzann Dodd

If You Take Him Back

Surviving adultery

BookRix GmbH & Co. KG81371 Munich

Prologue

He has left the Other Woman, and returned to you.

He has begged another chance.

You don't know what 'winning' looks like, what you want, but for now, you acquiese.  You perform the tearful reunion.  You take his apology and  his pleas for forgiveness.

You have insured he had a medical check up before he comes within six feet, to prevent the transmission of disease.   Taking back an unfaithful spouse is not just emotional, there is a serious health aspect.  Allow no words or promises or gifts to cloud that fact.   

Make certain he brings nothing to the 'table'.

So now that he has returned, healthy and desirous of continuing the marriage,  you give him that second chance.

For whatever reason you decide to go on.

Standing on the wreckage of your marriage, feeling a survivor of the Titanic, you begin to pick up the pieces.

And if you are wise, you drop them.

No.

You don't want that kind of marriage again.

You don't want to be that secondary creature, who has to cut and paste her life to please him.

You want....?

You must begin this new chapter clearing yourself of blame.   Whether you were too busy for him, or put everything before him, you did nothing to force him to find comfort in another's arms.  

If he felt so neglected he could have gone for a divorce. 

Why didn't he?

Realise; clothes don't magically disappear, beds don't materialise.   Adultery is a conscious decision.

He choose to have this affair.

This is the key feature.  You are not to blame.  

That is what you must fully comprehend.   

If he did not file for divorce;  then all the blame he heaps on you is his justification;  his attempt to shift the responsibility on your shoulders.

Just as an Abuser will beat his wife and claim that she 'made him do it', the man who commits adultery will try to shift the blame to his wife.   

Take No Blame.

This advice is for those who survived the adultery and choose to continue the relationship.  Those who had to make adjustments, changes, during the period he was absent.  This is a for those who now ponder the next step.

Chapter One

 You have gone through the torment.  

In 'standard' cases, there was the 'normal' marriage.   There is nothing which provoked his unfaithfulness. 

Why he entered an affair was not due to your actions.  All you know is that there was a change in the relationship.  

All the days and nights you were alone, while he 'worked late' or had to 'go out of town' along with random excuses to explain his absence were lies.  Lies he told you,  lies you told yourself.

Then the lies are replaced by suspicion.   

For most, the suspicion is born when he stalks about the house as if it were a cell he was trying to escape.  This is matched to the sharp remarks, the coldness, and lies.  All the lies he told you, you told yourself, until it was revealed.   

Whether you caught him, whether he confessed,  it was there.  He was unfaithful.

He wasn't working late, he didn't have to go out of town, the car didn't break down, he wasn't with the boys, he was rolling on soiled sheets with this woman he held higher than you.

And now, for whatever reason, he wants to come back.  He  wants you to take him back.  

And you, you comply.   You 'resign'.   You take him back.