The Crocodile (NHB Modern Plays) E-Book

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

• Herausgeber: Nick Hern Books
• Kategorie: Poesie und Drama
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2015

Beschreibung

Ivan is a struggling actor who hasn't yet achieved the recognition he feels he deserves. But all that is about to change when, one afternoon at the zoo with his friend Zack, he is swallowed whole by a crocodile. Based on Dostoyevsky's short story, The Crocodile is a ferociously funny, eye-poppingly theatrical play about art, animals and what happens when you try to take on the system from within... a crocodile. It premiered as part of the 2015 Manchester International Festival, in a co-production with The Invisible Dot.

Leseprobe

Tom Basden

THE CROCODILE

Based on a short story by

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

NICK HERN BOOKS

London

www.nickhernbooks.co.uk

Contents

Title Page

Original Production

Epigraph

Characters

The Crocodile

About the Author

Copyright and Performing Rights Information

The Crocodile was first performed on 13 July 2015 at the Pavilion Theatre, Manchester, as part of Manchester International Festival. The cast was as follows:

ZACK

Simon Bird

MR POPOV, etc.

Marek Larwood

IVAN

Ciarán Owens

ANYA

Emma Sidi

Director

Ned Bennett

Designer

Fly Davis

Lighting Designer

Joshua Pharo

Sound Designer

Tom Mills

Movement Director

Tom Jackson Greaves

Casting Director

Sophie Parrott

Costume Supervisor

Jessica Knight

Production Manager

Ned Lay

Deputy Production Manager

Grace Craven

Stage Manager

Fiona McCulloch

Deputy Stage Manager

Charley Sargant

Producers

Manchester International Festival and The Invisible Dot Ltd

The Crocodile was commissioned by Manchester International Festival

‘Yes, I will always do what I want. I will never sacrifice anything, not even a whim, for the sake of something I do not desire. What I want, with all my heart, is to make people happy. In this lies my happiness. Mine! Can you hear that, you, in your underground hole?’

Nikolai ChernyshevskyWhat Is to Be Done?, 1863

Characters

IVAN MATVEITCH, jobbing actor, thirties

ZACK, his best friend, thirties

ANYA, Zack’s girlfriend and Ivan’s ex, thirties

Setting

A zoo in St Petersburg. 1865.

There are various animals dotted around the stage: birds in cages, a snake on a branch in a glass case, and, stage right behind a low barrier, a huge, still crocodile.

At the back of the stage are some posters for ‘Extraordinary Wild Animals!’ and some red curtains.

Far stage left a piece of tinsel is tied between two poles.

This ebook was created before the end of rehearsals and so may differ slightly from the play as performed.

Scene One

Animal noises. Slowly merging with the sound of a crowd, cooing and laughing. Lights fade up on the empty stage.

IVAN (off). I mean, what is the world coming to!? Genuinely!

IVAN, in a tweed hacking jacket, enters mid-flow, declaiming to a seemingly imaginary audience. He is followed by ZACK.

When this is the cultural sensation of the age? When this garbage is what passes for entertainment? Some caged cretins napping and pooing! I mean, what are these people doing here? What are they expecting these animals to actually do?

ZACK. They’re not expecting anything, Ivan, they’ve just not seen them before –

IVAN. Oh, this is the end of days! You mark my words. This year will go down in history as the very nadir of human civilisation –

ZACK. You said that last year as well –

IVAN. And we’ve got worse, haven’t we? We’ve fallen further and fouler! You know why that Darwin bloke worked out we came from these fluffy fucks? You know why that’s happening now? Because we’re turning back in to them, mate. We’re devolving. Pretty soon we’ll grow fur and tails and beaks and scales and waddle into the sea and turn back into shells.

ZACK. Yup. Did you actually read Darwin’s book?

IVAN. I, yes, I read the back.

ZACK. Okay, well, either way, please don’t get angry with me about it –

IVAN. I’m not angry with you, Zack, I’m angry in general. I’m an artist. That’s my job.

ZACK. I, is it – ?

IVAN. I’m angry that the masses lap up this crap! I’m angry about how much it cost to get in here. And, to be honest… I’m still angry that all my friends go out for dinner last night and don’t think to invite me!

ZACK. Oh my God, Ivan, please…

IVAN. I mean, how can that happen?!

ZACK. It was an accident –

IVAN. I felt like a goon!

ZACK. I know, I’m sorry –

IVAN. An absolute bloody goon! Plodding past the window with Nikolai Dudin, seeing you, Anne, Pav, Sonya, Andrei polishing off dessert, and Nikolai’s like ‘Aren’t those your friends, Ivan?’ and I’m like ‘Er… yes, Nikolai, they are – ’

ZACK. We couldn’t get hold of you –

IVAN. Horseshit!

ZACK. You weren’t at home –

IVAN. I’m an actor, Zack, I am always at home!

ZACK. It… okay, look, Ivan… there was a reason you weren’t at dinner, that, we… we wanted to –

IVAN. Do you know what I ate last night?

ZACK. Well, no, clearly not –

IVAN. Cheese and turnip.

ZACK. Right, that’s… as in?

IVAN. Some cheese and then a turnip. It’s not even a meal. It’s never even been a meal.

ZACK. Well, okay, you can’t pin that on us –

IVAN. I don’t like being left out. Ever!

ZACK. It was, yes and I’m saying you weren’t left out, per se, it was, we were talking about you, Ivan, about your shows and…

IVAN. Then you bring me here! Rub my face in this shit!

ZACK. I’m not… what? Rubbing your face in what?

IVAN. This is what’s stealing my bloody audience, mate! This bilge. These… (Points at the cockatiel.) lightweight prats. It’s a knife in the nuts bringing me here, it really is…

ZACK. Okay, well I didn’t know that, Ivan. I didn’t know you were in competition with animals now –

IVAN. I’m in competition with everything, man! And whether I like it or not, and I don’t, this the future of showbiz. Right here. Dancing dogs, weird fish, cross-eyed cats. This’ll be the only toss in town before too long, I kid you not. Survival of the bloody blandest. That’s what they want…

ZACK. I’m sorry you don’t like it here, Ivan, I had no idea that zoos make you angry now as well. We can go and get a coffee once Anya gets here if you’d rather do that.

Beat. IVAN calms down a bit.

IVAN. What about my shows? You said you were talking about my shows. At dinner. What about them?

ZACK. Yes. And this is, I don’t want to talk about it while you’re… het up –

IVAN. I’m not. I’ve het down now. What were you saying about them?

ZACK. Yeah, okay, look, it wasn’t just that we couldn’t get hold of you last night, it was more that… we didn’t. The truth is Ivan, we, not just me, Pavel, Anya, a few of us, thought we should talk about you and… your work and, first up, you should know, we all think you’re amazingly resilient, how you’ve kept plugging away all these years despite uh, everything –

IVAN. Uh-huh –

ZACK. But the thing is, we, not just me, felt that it had got to the point where we had to… say something.

IVAN nods. Beat. A little smile.

IVAN. You don’t…

ZACK. Well… really?

IVAN. I don’t do it for praise, Zack.

ZACK. Oh. No, what?

IVAN. I’m just a guy.

ZACK. Yes, I know, sorry, I mean it’s not that, it’s more the, the other –

IVAN. Say no more…

ZACK. No, I, I think I have to –

IVAN. You’ll embarrass me –