The Innocence of Father Brown
The Innocence of Father BrownTHE BLUE CROSSTHE SECRET GARDENTHE QUEER FEETTHE FLYING STARSTHE INVISIBLE MANTHE HONOUR OF ISRAEL GOWTHE WRONG SHAPETHE SINS OF PRINCE SARADINETHE HAMMER OF GODTHE EYE OF APOLLOTHE SIGN OF THE BROKEN SWORDTHE THREE TOOLS OF DEATHCopyright
The Innocence of Father Brown
G.K. Chesterton
THE BLUE CROSS
THE BLUE CROSS
Flambeau was in England. The police of three countries had
tracked the great criminal at last from Ghent to Brussels, from
Brussels to the Hook of Holland; and it was conjectured that he
would take some advantage of the unfamiliarity and confusion of the
Eucharistic Congress, then taking place in London. Probably he
would travel as some minor clerk or secretary connected with it;
but, of course, Valentin could not be certain; nobody could be
certain about Flambeau.
It is many years now since this colossus of crime suddenly ceased
keeping the world in a turmoil; and when he ceased, as they said
after the death of Roland, there was a great quiet upon the earth.
But in his best days (I mean, of course, his worst) Flambeau was a
figure as statuesque and international as the Kaiser. Almost every
morning the daily paper announced that he had escaped the
consequences of one extraordinary crime by committing another. He
was a Gascon of gigantic stature and bodily daring; and the wildest
tales were told of his outbursts of athletic humour; how he turned
the juge d'instruction upside down and stood him on his head, "to
clear his mind"; how he ran down the Rue de Rivoli with a policeman
under each arm. It is due to him to say that his fantastic physical
strength was generally employed in such bloodless though
undignified scenes; his real crimes were chiefly those of ingenious
and wholesale robbery. But each of his thefts was almost a new sin,
and would make a story by itself. It was he who ran the great
Tyrolean Dairy Company in London, with no dairies, no cows, no
carts, no milk, but with some thousand subscribers. These he served
by the simple operation of moving the little milk cans outside
people's doors to the doors of his own customers. It was he who had
kept up an unaccountable and close correspondence with a young lady
whose whole letter-bag was intercepted, by the extraordinary trick
of photographing his messages infinitesimally small upon the slides
of a microscope. A sweeping simplicity, however, marked many of his
experiments. It is said that he once repainted all the numbers in a
street in the dead of night merely to divert one traveller into a
trap. It is quite certain that he invented a portable pillar- box,
which he put up at corners in quiet suburbs on the chance of
strangers dropping postal orders into it. Lastly, he was known to
be a startling acrobat; despite his huge figure, he could leap like
a grasshopper and melt into the tree-tops like a monkey. Hence the
great Valentin, when he set out to find Flambeau, was perfectly
aware that his adventures would not end when he had found
him.
But how was he to find him? On this the great Valentin's ideas were
still in process of settlement.
There was one thing which Flambeau, with all his dexterity of
disguise, could not cover, and that was his singular height. If
Valentin's quick eye had caught a tall apple-woman, a tall
grenadier, or even a tolerably tall duchess, he might have arrested
them on the spot. But all along his train there was nobody that
could be a disguised Flambeau, any more than a cat could be a
disguised giraffe. About the people on the boat he had already
satisfied himself; and the people picked up at Harwich or on the
journey limited themselves with certainty to six. There was a short
railway official travelling up to the terminus, three fairly short
market gardeners picked up two stations afterwards, one very short
widow lady going up from a small Essex town, and a very short Roman
Catholic priest going up from a small Essex village. When it came
to the last case, Valentin gave it up and almost laughed. The
little priest was so much the essence of those Eastern flats; he
had a face as round and dull as a Norfolk dumpling; he had eyes as
empty as the North Sea; he had several brown paper parcels, which
he was quite incapable of collecting. The Eucharistic Congress had
doubtless sucked out of their local stagnation many such creatures,
blind and helpless, like moles disinterred. Valentin was a sceptic
in the severe style of France, and could have no love for priests.
But he could have pity for them, and this one might have provoked
pity in anybody. He had a large, shabby umbrella, which constantly
fell on the floor. He did not seem to know which was the right end
of his return ticket. He explained with a moon-calf simplicity to
everybody in the carriage that he had to be careful, because he had
something made of real silver "with blue stones" in one of his
brown-paper parcels. His quaint blending of Essex flatness with
saintly simplicity continuously amused the Frenchman till the
priest arrived (somehow) at Tottenham with all his parcels, and
came back for his umbrella. When he did the last, Valentin even had
the good nature to warn him not to take care of the silver by
telling everybody about it. But to whomever he talked, Valentin
kept his eye open for someone else; he looked out steadily for
anyone, rich or poor, male or female, who was well up to six feet;
for Flambeau was four inches above it.
He alighted at Liverpool Street, however, quite conscientiously
secure that he had not missed the criminal so far. He then went to
Scotland Yard to regularise his position and arrange for help in
case of need; he then lit another cigarette and went for a long
stroll in the streets of London. As he was walking in the streets
and squares beyond Victoria, he paused suddenly and stood. It was a
quaint, quiet square, very typical of London, full of an accidental
stillness. The tall, flat houses round looked at once prosperous
and uninhabited; the square of shrubbery in the centre looked as
deserted as a green Pacific islet. One of the four sides was much
higher than the rest, like a dais; and the line of this side was
broken by one of London's admirable accidents—a restaurant that
looked as if it had strayed from Soho. It was an unreasonably
attractive object, with dwarf plants in pots and long, striped
blinds of lemon yellow and white. It stood specially high above the
street, and in the usual patchwork way of London, a flight of steps
from the street ran up to meet the front door almost as a
fire-escape might run up to a first-floor window. Valentin stood
and smoked in front of the yellow-white blinds and considered them
long.
The most incredible thing about miracles is that they happen. A few
clouds in heaven do come together into the staring shape of one
human eye. A tree does stand up in the landscape of a doubtful
journey in the exact and elaborate shape of a note of
interrogation. I have seen both these things myself within the last
few days. Nelson does die in the instant of victory; and a man
named Williams does quite accidentally murder a man named
Williamson; it sounds like a sort of infanticide. In short, there
is in life an element of elfin coincidence which people reckoning
on the prosaic may perpetually miss. As it has been well expressed
in the paradox of Poe, wisdom should reckon on the
unforeseen.
Aristide Valentin was unfathomably French; and the French
intelligence is intelligence specially and solely. He was not "a
thinking machine"; for that is a brainless phrase of modern
fatalism and materialism. A machine only is a machine because it
cannot think. But he was a thinking man, and a plain man at the
same time. All his wonderful successes, that looked like conjuring,
had been gained by plodding logic, by clear and commonplace French
thought. The French electrify the world not by starting any
paradox, they electrify it by carrying out a truism. They carry a
truism so far—as in the French Revolution. But exactly because
Valentin understood reason, he understood the limits of reason.
Only a man who knows nothing of motors talks of motoring without
petrol; only a man who knows nothing of reason talks of reasoning
without strong, undisputed first principles. Here he had no strong
first principles. Flambeau had been missed at Harwich; and if he
was in London at all, he might be anything from a tall tramp on
Wimbledon Common to a tall toast-master at the Hotel Metropole. In
such a naked state of nescience, Valentin had a view and a method
of his own.
In such cases he reckoned on the unforeseen. In such cases, when he
could not follow the train of the reasonable, he coldly and
carefully followed the train of the unreasonable. Instead of going
to the right places—banks, police stations, rendezvous— he
systematically went to the wrong places; knocked at every empty
house, turned down every cul de sac, went up every lane blocked
with rubbish, went round every crescent that led him uselessly out
of the way. He defended this crazy course quite logically. He said
that if one had a clue this was the worst way; but if one had no
clue at all it was the best, because there was just the chance that
any oddity that caught the eye of the pursuer might be the same
that had caught the eye of the pursued. Somewhere a man must begin,
and it had better be just where another man might stop. Something
about that flight of steps up to the shop, something about the
quietude and quaintness of the restaurant, roused all the
detective's rare romantic fancy and made him resolve to strike at
random. He went up the steps, and sitting down at a table by the
window, asked for a cup of black coffee.
It was half-way through the morning, and he had not breakfasted;
the slight litter of other breakfasts stood about on the table to
remind him of his hunger; and adding a poached egg to his order, he
proceeded musingly to shake some white sugar into his coffee,
thinking all the time about Flambeau. He remembered how Flambeau
had escaped, once by a pair of nail scissors, and once by a house
on fire; once by having to pay for an unstamped letter, and once by
getting people to look through a telescope at a comet that might
destroy the world. He thought his detective brain as good as the
criminal's, which was true. But he fully realised the disadvantage.
"The criminal is the creative artist; the detective only the
critic," he said with a sour smile, and lifted his coffee cup to
his lips slowly, and put it down very quickly. He had put salt in
it.
He looked at the vessel from which the silvery powder had come; it
was certainly a sugar-basin; as unmistakably meant for sugar as a
champagne-bottle for champagne. He wondered why they should keep
salt in it. He looked to see if there were any more orthodox
vessels. Yes; there were two salt-cellars quite full. Perhaps there
was some speciality in the condiment in the salt-cellars. He tasted
it; it was sugar. Then he looked round at the restaurant with a
refreshed air of interest, to see if there were any other traces of
that singular artistic taste which puts the sugar in the
salt-cellars and the salt in the sugar-basin. Except for an odd
splash of some dark fluid on one of the white-papered walls, the
whole place appeared neat, cheerful and ordinary. He rang the bell
for the waiter.
When that official hurried up, fuzzy-haired and somewhat blear-eyed
at that early hour, the detective (who was not without an
appreciation of the simpler forms of humour) asked him to taste the
sugar and see if it was up to the high reputation of the hotel. The
result was that the waiter yawned suddenly and woke up.
"Do you play this delicate joke on your customers every morning?"
inquired Valentin. "Does changing the salt and sugar never pall on
you as a jest?"
The waiter, when this irony grew clearer, stammeringly assured him
that the establishment had certainly no such intention; it must be
a most curious mistake. He picked up the sugar-basin and looked at
it; he picked up the salt- cellar and looked at that, his face
growing more and more bewildered. At last he abruptly excused
himself, and hurrying away, returned in a few seconds with the
proprietor. The proprietor also examined the sugar-basin and then
the salt- cellar; the proprietor also looked bewildered.
Suddenly the waiter seemed to grow inarticulate with a rush of
words.
"I zink," he stuttered eagerly, "I zink it is those two
clergy-men."
"What two clergymen?"
"The two clergymen," said the waiter, "that threw soup at the
wall."
"Threw soup at the wall?" repeated Valentin, feeling sure this must
be some singular Italian metaphor.
"Yes, yes," said the attendant excitedly, and pointed at the dark
splash on the white paper; "threw it over there on the wall."
Valentin looked his query at the proprietor, who came to his rescue
with fuller reports.
"Yes, sir," he said, "it's quite true, though I don't suppose it
has anything to do with the sugar and salt. Two clergymen came in
and drank soup here very early, as soon as the shutters were taken
down. They were both very quiet, respectable people; one of them
paid the bill and went out; the other, who seemed a slower coach
altogether, was some minutes longer getting his things together.
But he went at last. Only, the instant before he stepped into the
street he deliberately picked up his cup, which he had only half
emptied, and threw the soup slap on the wall. I was in the back
room myself, and so was the waiter; so I could only rush out in
time to find the wall splashed and the shop empty. It don't do any
particular damage, but it was confounded cheek; and I tried to
catch the men in the street. They were too far off though; I only
noticed they went round the next corner into Carstairs
Street."
The detective was on his feet, hat settled and stick in hand. He
had already decided that in the universal darkness of his mind he
could only follow the first odd finger that pointed; and this
finger was odd enough. Paying his bill and clashing the glass doors
behind him, he was soon swinging round into the other street.
It was fortunate that even in such fevered moments his eye was cool
and quick. Something in a shop-front went by him like a mere flash;
yet he went back to look at it. The shop was a popular greengrocer
and fruiterer's, an array of goods set out in the open air and
plainly ticketed with their names and prices. In the two most
prominent compartments were two heaps, of oranges and of nuts
respectively. On the heap of nuts lay a scrap of cardboard, on
which was written in bold, blue chalk, "Best tangerine oranges, two
a penny." On the oranges was the equally clear and exact
description, "Finest Brazil nuts, 4d. a lb." M. Valentin looked at
these two placards and fancied he had met this highly subtle form
of humour before, and that somewhat recently. He drew the attention
of the red-faced fruiterer, who was looking rather sullenly up and
down the street, to this inaccuracy in his advertisements. The
fruiterer said nothing, but sharply put each card into its proper
place. The detective, leaning elegantly on his walking-cane,
continued to scrutinise the shop. At last he said, "Pray excuse my
apparent irrelevance, my good sir, but I should like to ask you a
question in experimental psychology and the association of
ideas."
The red-faced shopman regarded him with an eye of menace; but he
continued gaily, swinging his cane, "Why," he pursued, "why are two
tickets wrongly placed in a greengrocer's shop like a shovel hat
that has come to London for a holiday? Or, in case I do not make
myself clear, what is the mystical association which connects the
idea of nuts marked as oranges with the idea of two clergymen, one
tall and the other short?"
The eyes of the tradesman stood out of his head like a snail's; he
really seemed for an instant likely to fling himself upon the
stranger. At last he stammered angrily: "I don't know what you 'ave
to do with it, but if you're one of their friends, you can tell 'em
from me that I'll knock their silly 'eads off, parsons or no
parsons, if they upset my apples again."
"Indeed?" asked the detective, with great sympathy. "Did they upset
your apples?"
"One of 'em did," said the heated shopman; "rolled 'em all over the
street. I'd 'ave caught the fool but for havin' to pick 'em
up."
"Which way did these parsons go?" asked Valentin.
"Up that second road on the left-hand side, and then across the
square," said the other promptly.
"Thanks," replied Valentin, and vanished like a fairy. On the other
side of the second square he found a policeman, and said: "This is
urgent, constable; have you seen two clergymen in shovel
hats?"
The policeman began to chuckle heavily. "I 'ave, sir; and if you
arst me, one of 'em was drunk. He stood in the middle of the road
that bewildered that— "
"Which way did they go?" snapped Valentin.
"They took one of them yellow buses over there," answered the man;
"them that go to Hampstead."
Valentin produced his official card and said very rapidly: "Call up
two of your men to come with me in pursuit," and crossed the road
with such contagious energy that the ponderous policeman was moved
to almost agile obedience. In a minute and a half the French
detective was joined on the opposite pavement by an inspector and a
man in plain clothes.
"Well, sir," began the former, with smiling importance, "and what
may—?"
Valentin pointed suddenly with his cane. "I'll tell you on the top
of that omnibus," he said, and was darting and dodging across the
tangle of the traffic. When all three sank panting on the top seats
of the yellow vehicle, the inspector said: "We could go four times
as quick in a taxi."
"Quite true," replied their leader placidly, "if we only had an
idea of where we were going."
"Well, where are you going?" asked the other, staring.
Valentin smoked frowningly for a few seconds; then, removing his
cigarette, he said: "If you know what a man's doing, get in front
of him; but if you want to guess what he's doing, keep behind him.
Stray when he strays; stop when he stops; travel as slowly as he.
Then you may see what he saw and may act as he acted. All we can do
is to keep our eyes skinned for a queer thing."
"What sort of queer thing do you mean?" asked the inspector.
"Any sort of queer thing," answered Valentin, and relapsed into
obstinate silence.
The yellow omnibus crawled up the northern roads for what seemed
like hours on end; the great detective would not explain further,
and perhaps his assistants felt a silent and growing doubt of his
errand. Perhaps, also, they felt a silent and growing desire for
lunch, for the hours crept long past the normal luncheon hour, and
the long roads of the North London suburbs seemed to shoot out into
length after length like an infernal telescope. It was one of those
journeys on which a man perpetually feels that now at last he must
have come to the end of the universe, and then finds he has only
come to the beginning of Tufnell Park. London died away in draggled
taverns and dreary scrubs, and then was unaccountably born again in
blazing high streets and blatant hotels. It was like passing
through thirteen separate vulgar cities all just touching each
other. But though the winter twilight was already threatening the
road ahead of them, the Parisian detective still sat silent and
watchful, eyeing the frontage of the streets that slid by on either
side. By the time they had left Camden Town behind, the policemen
were nearly asleep; at least, they gave something like a jump as
Valentin leapt erect, struck a hand on each man's shoulder, and
shouted to the driver to stop.
They tumbled down the steps into the road without realising why
they had been dislodged; when they looked round for enlightenment
they found Valentin triumphantly pointing his finger towards a
window on the left side of the road. It was a large window, forming
part of the long facade of a gilt and palatial public-house; it was
the part reserved for respectable dining, and labelled
"Restaurant." This window, like all the rest along the frontage of
the hotel, was of frosted and figured glass; but in the middle of
it was a big, black smash, like a star in the ice.
"Our cue at last," cried Valentin, waving his stick; "the place
with the broken window."
"What window? What cue?" asked his principal assistant. "Why, what
proof is there that this has anything to do with them?"
Valentin almost broke his bamboo stick with rage.
"Proof!" he cried. "Good God! the man is looking for proof! Why, of
course, the chances are twenty to one that it has nothing to do
with them. But what else can we do? Don't you see we must either
follow one wild possibility or else go home to bed?" He banged his
way into the restaurant, followed by his companions, and they were
soon seated at a late luncheon at a little table, and looked at the
star of smashed glass from the inside. Not that it was very
informative to them even then.
"Got your window broken, I see," said Valentin to the waiter as he
paid the bill.
"Yes, sir," answered the attendant, bending busily over the change,
to which Valentin silently added an enormous tip. The waiter
straightened himself with mild but unmistakable animation.
"Ah, yes, sir," he said. "Very odd thing, that, sir."
"Indeed?" Tell us about it," said the detective with careless
curiosity.
"Well, two gents in black came in," said the waiter; "two of those
foreign parsons that are running about. They had a cheap and quiet
little lunch, and one of them paid for it and went out. The other
was just going out to join him when I looked at my change again and
found he'd paid me more than three times too much. 'Here,' I says
to the chap who was nearly out of the door, 'you've paid too much.'
'Oh,' he says, very cool, 'have we?' 'Yes,' I says, and picks up
the bill to show him. Well, that was a knock-out."
"What do you mean?" asked his interlocutor.
"Well, I'd have sworn on seven Bibles that I'd put 4s. on that
bill. But now I saw I'd put 14s., as plain as paint."
"Well?" cried Valentin, moving slowly, but with burning eyes, "and
then?"
"The parson at the door he says all serene, 'Sorry to confuse your
accounts, but it'll pay for the window.' 'What window?' I says.
'The one I'm going to break,' he says, and smashed that blessed
pane with his umbrella."
All three inquirers made an exclamation; and the inspector said
under his breath, "Are we after escaped lunatics?" The waiter went
on with some relish for the ridiculous story:
"I was so knocked silly for a second, I couldn't do anything. The
man marched out of the place and joined his friend just round the
corner. Then they went so quick up Bullock Street that I couldn't
catch them, though I ran round the bars to do it."
"Bullock Street," said the detective, and shot up that thoroughfare
as quickly as the strange couple he pursued.
Their journey now took them through bare brick ways like tunnels;
streets with few lights and even with few windows; streets that
seemed built out of the blank backs of everything and everywhere.
Dusk was deepening, and it was not easy even for the London
policemen to guess in what exact direction they were treading. The
inspector, however, was pretty certain that they would eventually
strike some part of Hampstead Heath. Abruptly one bulging gas-lit
window broke the blue twilight like a bull's-eye lantern; and
Valentin stopped an instant before a little garish sweetstuff shop.
After an instant's hesitation he went in; he stood amid the gaudy
colours of the confectionery with entire gravity and bought
thirteen chocolate cigars with a certain care. He was clearly
preparing an opening; but he did not need one.
An angular, elderly young woman in the shop had regarded his
elegant appearance with a merely automatic inquiry; but when she
saw the door behind him blocked with the blue uniform of the
inspector, her eyes seemed to wake up.
"Oh," she said, "if you've come about that parcel, I've sent it off
already."
"Parcel?" repeated Valentin; and it was his turn to look
inquiring.
"I mean the parcel the gentleman left—the clergyman
gentleman."
"For goodness' sake," said Valentin, leaning forward with his first
real confession of eagerness, "for Heaven's sake tell us what
happened exactly."
"Well," said the woman a little doubtfully, "the clergymen came in
about half an hour ago and bought some peppermints and talked a
bit, and then went off towards the Heath. But a second after, one
of them runs back into the shop and says, 'Have I left a parcel!'
Well, I looked everywhere and couldn't see one; so he says, 'Never
mind; but if it should turn up, please post it to this address,'
and he left me the address and a shilling for my trouble. And sure
enough, though I thought I'd looked everywhere, I found he'd left a
brown paper parcel, so I posted it to the place he said. I can't
remember the address now; it was somewhere in Westminster. But as
the thing seemed so important, I thought perhaps the police had
come about it."
"So they have," said Valentin shortly. "Is Hampstead Heath near
here?"
"Straight on for fifteen minutes," said the woman, "and you'll come
right out on the open." Valentin sprang out of the shop and began
to run. The other detectives followed him at a reluctant
trot.
The street they threaded was so narrow and shut in by shadows that
when they came out unexpectedly into the void common and vast sky
they were startled to find the evening still so light and clear. A
perfect dome of peacock-green sank into gold amid the blackening
trees and the dark violet distances. The glowing green tint was
just deep enough to pick out in points of crystal one or two stars.
All that was left of the daylight lay in a golden glitter across
the edge of Hampstead and that popular hollow which is called the
Vale of Health. The holiday makers who roam this region had not
wholly dispersed; a few couples sat shapelessly on benches; and
here and there a distant girl still shrieked in one of the swings.
The glory of heaven deepened and darkened around the sublime
vulgarity of man; and standing on the slope and looking across the
valley, Valentin beheld the thing which he sought.
Among the black and breaking groups in that distance was one
especially black which did not break—a group of two figures
clerically clad. Though they seemed as small as insects, Valentin
could see that one of them was much smaller than the other. Though
the other had a student's stoop and an inconspicuous manner, he
could see that the man was well over six feet high. He shut his
teeth and went forward, whirling his stick impatiently. By the time
he had substantially diminished the distance and magnified the two
black figures as in a vast microscope, he had perceived something
else; something which startled him, and yet which he had somehow
expected. Whoever was the tall priest, there could be no doubt
about the identity of the short one. It was his friend of the
Harwich train, the stumpy little cure of Essex whom he had warned
about his brown paper parcels.
Now, so far as this went, everything fitted in finally and
rationally enough. Valentin had learned by his inquiries that
morning that a Father Brown from Essex was bringing up a silver
cross with sapphires, a relic of considerable value, to show some
of the foreign priests at the congress. This undoubtedly was the
"silver with blue stones"; and Father Brown undoubtedly was the
little greenhorn in the train. Now there was nothing wonderful
about the fact that what Valentin had found out Flambeau had also
found out; Flambeau found out everything. Also there was nothing
wonderful in the fact that when Flambeau heard of a sapphire cross
he should try to steal it; that was the most natural thing in all
natural history. And most certainly there was nothing wonderful
about the fact that Flambeau should have it all his own way with
such a silly sheep as the man with the umbrella and the parcels. He
was the sort of man whom anybody could lead on a string to the
North Pole; it was not surprising that an actor like Flambeau,
dressed as another priest, could lead him to Hampstead Heath. So
far the crime seemed clear enough; and while the detective pitied
the priest for his helplessness, he almost despised Flambeau for
condescending to so gullible a victim. But when Valentin thought of
all that had happened in between, of all that had led him to his
triumph, he racked his brains for the smallest rhyme or reason in
it. What had the stealing of a blue-and-silver cross from a priest
from Essex to do with chucking soup at wall paper? What had it to
do with calling nuts oranges, or with paying for windows first and
breaking them afterwards? He had come to the end of his chase; yet
somehow he had missed the middle of it. When he failed (which was
seldom), he had usually grasped the clue, but nevertheless missed
the criminal. Here he had grasped the criminal, but still he could
not grasp the clue.
The two figures that they followed were crawling like black flies
across the huge green contour of a hill. They were evidently sunk
in conversation, and perhaps did not notice where they were going;
but they were certainly going to the wilder and more silent heights
of the Heath. As their pursuers gained on them, the latter had to
use the undignified attitudes of the deer-stalker, to crouch behind
clumps of trees and even to crawl prostrate in deep grass. By these
ungainly ingenuities the hunters even came close enough to the
quarry to hear the murmur of the discussion, but no word could be
distinguished except the word "reason" recurring frequently in a
high and almost childish voice. Once over an abrupt dip of land and
a dense tangle of thickets, the detectives actually lost the two
figures they were following. They did not find the trail again for
an agonising ten minutes, and then it led round the brow of a great
dome of hill overlooking an amphitheatre of rich and desolate
sunset scenery. Under a tree in this commanding yet neglected spot
was an old ramshackle wooden seat. On this seat sat the two priests
still in serious speech together. The gorgeous green and gold still
clung to the darkening horizon; but the dome above was turning
slowly from peacock-green to peacock-blue, and the stars detached
themselves more and more like solid jewels. Mutely motioning to his
followers, Valentin contrived to creep up behind the big branching
tree, and, standing there in deathly silence, heard the words of
the strange priests for the first time.
After he had listened for a minute and a half, he was gripped by a
devilish doubt. Perhaps he had dragged the two English policemen to
the wastes of a nocturnal heath on an errand no saner than seeking
figs on its thistles. For the two priests were talking exactly like
priests, piously, with learning and leisure, about the most aerial
enigmas of theology. The little Essex priest spoke the more simply,
with his round face turned to the strengthening stars; the other
talked with his head bowed, as if he were not even worthy to look
at them. But no more innocently clerical conversation could have
been heard in any white Italian cloister or black Spanish
cathedral.
The first he heard was the tail of one of Father Brown's sentences,
which ended: "... what they really meant in the Middle Ages by the
heavens being incorruptible."
The taller priest nodded his bowed head and said:
"Ah, yes, these modern infidels appeal to their reason; but who can
look at those millions of worlds and not feel that there may well
be wonderful universes above us where reason is utterly
unreasonable?"
"No," said the other priest; "reason is always reasonable, even in
the last limbo, in the lost borderland of things. I know that
people charge the Church with lowering reason, but it is just the
other way. Alone on earth, the Church makes reason really supreme.
Alone on earth, the Church affirms that God himself is bound by
reason."
The other priest raised his austere face to the spangled sky and
said:
"Yet who knows if in that infinite universe—?"
"Only infinite physically," said the little priest, turning sharply
in his seat, "not infinite in the sense of escaping from the laws
of truth."
Valentin behind his tree was tearing his fingernails with silent
fury. He seemed almost to hear the sniggers of the English
detectives whom he had brought so far on a fantastic guess only to
listen to the metaphysical gossip of two mild old parsons. In his
impatience he lost the equally elaborate answer of the tall cleric,
and when he listened again it was again Father Brown who was
speaking:
"Reason and justice grip the remotest and the loneliest star. Look
at those stars. Don't they look as if they were single diamonds and
sapphires? Well, you can imagine any mad botany or geology you
please. Think of forests of adamant with leaves of brilliants.
Think the moon is a blue moon, a single elephantine sapphire. But
don't fancy that all that frantic astronomy would make the smallest
difference to the reason and justice of conduct. On plains of opal,
under cliffs cut out of pearl, you would still find a notice-board,
'Thou shalt not steal.'"
Valentin was just in the act of rising from his rigid and crouching
attitude and creeping away as softly as might be, felled by the one
great folly of his life. But something in the very silence of the
tall priest made him stop until the latter spoke. When at last he
did speak, he said simply, his head bowed and his hands on his
knees:
"Well, I think that other worlds may perhaps rise higher than our
reason. The mystery of heaven is unfathomable, and I for one can
only bow my head."
Then, with brow yet bent and without changing by the faintest shade
his attitude or voice, he added:
"Just hand over that sapphire cross of yours, will you? We're all
alone here, and I could pull you to pieces like a straw
doll."
The utterly unaltered voice and attitude added a strange violence
to that shocking change of speech. But the guarder of the relic
only seemed to turn his head by the smallest section of the
compass. He seemed still to have a somewhat foolish face turned to
the stars. Perhaps he had not understood. Or, perhaps, he had
understood and sat rigid with terror.
"Yes," said the tall priest, in the same low voice and in the same
still posture, "yes, I am Flambeau."
Then, after a pause, he said:
"Come, will you give me that cross?"
"No," said the other, and the monosyllable had an odd sound.
Flambeau suddenly flung off all his pontifical pretensions. The
great robber leaned back in his seat and laughed low but
long.
"No," he cried, "you won't give it me, you proud prelate. You won't
give it me, you little celibate simpleton. Shall I tell you why you
won't give it me? Because I've got it already in my own
breast-pocket."
The small man from Essex turned what seemed to be a dazed face in
the dusk, and said, with the timid eagerness of "The Private
Secretary":
"Are—are you sure?"
Flambeau yelled with delight.
"Really, you're as good as a three-act farce," he cried. "Yes, you
turnip, I am quite sure. I had the sense to make a duplicate of the
right parcel, and now, my friend, you've got the duplicate and I've
got the jewels. An old dodge, Father Brown— a very old
dodge."
"Yes," said Father Brown, and passed his hand through his hair with
the same strange vagueness of manner. "Yes, I've heard of it
before."
The colossus of crime leaned over to the little rustic priest with
a sort of sudden interest.
"You have heard of it?" he asked. "Where have you heard of
it?"
"Well, I mustn't tell you his name, of course," said the little man
simply. "He was a penitent, you know. He had lived prosperously for
about twenty years entirely on duplicate brown paper parcels. And
so, you see, when I began to suspect you, I thought of this poor
chap's way of doing it at once."
"Began to suspect me?" repeated the outlaw with increased
intensity. "Did you really have the gumption to suspect me just
because I brought you up to this bare part of the heath?"
"No, no," said Brown with an air of apology. "You see, I suspected
you when we first met. It's that little bulge up the sleeve where
you people have the spiked bracelet."
"How in Tartarus," cried Flambeau, "did you ever hear of the spiked
bracelet?"
"Oh, one's little flock, you know!" said Father Brown, arching his
eyebrows rather blankly. "When I was a curate in Hartlepool, there
were three of them with spiked bracelets. So, as I suspected you
from the first, don't you see, I made sure that the cross should go
safe, anyhow. I'm afraid I watched you, you know. So at last I saw
you change the parcels. Then, don't you see, I changed them back
again. And then I left the right one behind."
"Left it behind?" repeated Flambeau, and for the first time there
was another note in his voice beside his triumph.
"Well, it was like this," said the little priest, speaking in the
same unaffected way. "I went back to that sweet-shop and asked if
I'd left a parcel, and gave them a particular address if it turned
up. Well, I knew I hadn't; but when I went away again I did. So,
instead of running after me with that valuable parcel, they have
sent it flying to a friend of mine in Westminster." Then he added
rather sadly: "I learnt that, too, from a poor fellow in
Hartlepool. He used to do it with handbags he stole at railway
stations, but he's in a monastery now. Oh, one gets to know, you
know," he added, rubbing his head again with the same sort of
desperate apology. "We can't help being priests. People come and
tell us these things."
Flambeau tore a brown-paper parcel out of his inner pocket and rent
it in pieces. There was nothing but paper and sticks of lead inside
it. He sprang to his feet with a gigantic gesture, and cried:
"I don't believe you. I don't believe a bumpkin like you could
manage all that. I believe you've still got the stuff on you, and
if you don't give it up— why, we're all alone, and I'll take it by
force!"
"No," said Father Brown simply, and stood up also, "you won't take
it by force. First, because I really haven't still got it. And,
second, because we are not alone."
Flambeau stopped in his stride forward.
"Behind that tree," said Father Brown, pointing, "are two strong
policemen and the greatest detective alive. How did they come here,
do you ask? Why, I brought them, of course! How did I do it? Why,
I'll tell you if you like! Lord bless you, we have to know twenty
such things when we work among the criminal classes! Well, I wasn't
sure you were a thief, and it would never do to make a scandal
against one of our own clergy. So I just tested you to see if
anything would make you show yourself. A man generally makes a
small scene if he finds salt in his coffee; if he doesn't, he has
some reason for keeping quiet. I changed the salt and sugar, and
you kept quiet. A man generally objects if his bill is three times
too big. If he pays it, he has some motive for passing unnoticed. I
altered your bill, and you paid it."
The world seemed waiting for Flambeau to leap like a tiger. But he
was held back as by a spell; he was stunned with the utmost
curiosity.
"Well," went on Father Brown, with lumbering lucidity, "as you
wouldn't leave any tracks for the police, of course somebody had
to. At every place we went to, I took care to do something that
would get us talked about for the rest of the day. I didn't do much
harm—a splashed wall, spilt apples, a broken window; but I saved
the cross, as the cross will always be saved. It is at Westminster
by now. I rather wonder you didn't stop it with the Donkey's
Whistle."
"With the what?" asked Flambeau.
"I'm glad you've never heard of it," said the priest, making a
face. "It's a foul thing. I'm sure you're too good a man for a
Whistler. I couldn't have countered it even with the Spots myself;
I'm not strong enough in the legs."
"What on earth are you talking about?" asked the other.
"Well, I did think you'd know the Spots," said Father Brown,
agreeably surprised. "Oh, you can't have gone so very wrong
yet!"
"How in blazes do you know all these horrors?" cried
Flambeau.
The shadow of a smile crossed the round, simple face of his
clerical opponent.
"Oh, by being a celibate simpleton, I suppose," he said. "Has it
never struck you that a man who does next to nothing but hear men's
real sins is not likely to be wholly unaware of human evil? But, as
a matter of fact, another part of my trade, too, made me sure you
weren't a priest."
"What?" asked the thief, almost gaping.
"You attacked reason," said Father Brown. "It's bad
theology."
And even as he turned away to collect his property, the three
policemen came out from under the twilight trees. Flambeau was an
artist and a sportsman. He stepped back and swept Valentin a great
bow.
"Do not bow to me, mon ami," said Valentin with silver clearness.
"Let us both bow to our master."
And they both stood an instant uncovered while the little Essex
priest blinked about for his umbrella.
THE SECRET GARDEN
Aristide Valentin, Chief of the Paris Police, was late for his
dinner, and some of his guests began to arrive before him. These
were, however, reassured by his confidential servant, Ivan, the old
man with a scar, and a face almost as grey as his moustaches, who
always sat at a table in the entrance hall—a hall hung with
weapons. Valentin's house was perhaps as peculiar and celebrated as
its master. It was an old house, with high walls and tall poplars
almost overhanging the Seine; but the oddity—and perhaps the police
value—of its architecture was this: that there was no ultimate exit
at all except through this front door, which was guarded by Ivan
and the armoury. The garden was large and elaborate, and there were
many exits from the house into the garden. But there was no exit
from the garden into the world outside; all round it ran a tall,
smooth, unscalable wall with special spikes at the top; no bad
garden, perhaps, for a man to reflect in whom some hundred
criminals had sworn to kill.
As Ivan explained to the guests, their host had telephoned that he
was detained for ten minutes. He was, in truth, making some last
arrangements about executions and such ugly things; and though
these duties were rootedly repulsive to him, he always performed
them with precision. Ruthless in the pursuit of criminals, he was
very mild about their punishment. Since he had been supreme over
French—and largely over European—policial methods, his great
influence had been honourably used for the mitigation of sentences
and the purification of prisons. He was one of the great
humanitarian French freethinkers; and the only thing wrong with
them is that they make mercy even colder than justice.