Chapter 1
The cold passed reluctantly from
the earth, and the retiring fogs revealed an army stretched out on
the hills, resting. As the landscape changed from brown to green,
the army awakened, and began to tremble with eagerness at the noise
of rumors. It cast its eyes upon the roads, which were growing from
long troughs of liquid mud to proper thoroughfares. A river, amber-
tinted in the shadow of its banks, purled at the army’s feet; and
at night, when the stream had become of a sorrowful blackness, one
could see across it the red, eyelike gleam of hostile camp-fires
set in the low brows of distant hills.
Once a certain tall soldier
developed virtues and went resolutely to wash a shirt. He came
flying back from a brook waving his garment bannerlike. He was
swelled with a tale he had heard from a reliable friend, who had
heard it from a truthful cavalryman, who had heard it from his
trustworthy brother, one of the orderlies at division headquarters.
He adopted the important air of a herald in red and gold.
“We’re goin’ t’ move
t’morrah—sure,” he said pompously to a group in the company street.
“We’re goin’ ‘way up the river, cut across, an’ come around in
behint ‘em.”
To his attentive audience he drew
a loud and elaborate plan of a very brilliant campaign. When he had
finished, the blue- clothed men scattered into small arguing groups
between the rows of squat brown huts. A negro teamster who had been
dancing upon a cracker box with the hilarious encouragement of
twoscore soldiers was deserted. He sat mournfully down. Smoke
drifted lazily from a multitude of quaint chimneys.
“It’s a lie! that’s all it is—a
thunderin’ lie!” said another private loudly. His smooth face was
flushed, and his hands were thrust sulkily into his trouser’s
pockets. He took the matter as an affront to him. “I don’t believe
the derned old army’s ever going to move. We’re set. I’ve got ready
to move eight times in the last two weeks, and we ain’t moved
yet.”
The tall soldier felt called upon
to defend the truth of a rumor he himself had introduced. He and
the loud one came near to fighting over it.
A corporal began to swear before
the assemblage. He had just put a costly board floor in his house,
he said. During the early spring he had refrained from adding
extensively to the comfort of his environment because he had felt
that the army might start on the march at any moment. Of late,
however, he had been impressed that they were in a sort of eternal
camp.
Many of the men engaged in a
spirited debate. One outlined in a peculiarly lucid manner all the
plans of the commanding general. He was opposed by men who
advocated that there were other plans of campaign. They clamored at
each other, numbers making futile bids for the popular attention.
Meanwhile, the soldier who had fetched the rumor bustled about with
much importance. He was continually assailed by questions.
“What’s up, Jim?”
“Th’army’s goin’ t’ move.”
“Ah, what yeh talkin’ about? How
yeh know it is?”
“Well, yeh kin b’lieve me er not,
jest as yeh like. I don’t care a hang.”
There was much food for thought
in the manner in which he replied. He came near to convincing them
by disdaining to produce proofs. They grew much excited over
it.
There was a youthful private who
listened with eager ears to the words of the tall soldier and to
the varied comments of his comrades. After receiving a fill of
discussions concerning marches and attacks, he went to his hut and
crawled through an intricate hole that served it as a door. He
wished to be alone with some new thoughts that had lately come to
him.
He lay down on a wide bunk that
stretched across the end of the room. In the other end, cracker
boxes were made to serve as furniture. They were grouped about the
fireplace. A picture from an illustrated weekly was upon the log
walls, and three rifles were paralleled on pegs. Equipments hung on
handy
projections, and some tin dishes
lay upon a small pile of firewood. A folded tent was serving as a
roof. The sunlight, without, beating upon it, made it glow a light
yellow shade. A small window shot an oblique square of whiter light
upon the cluttered floor. The smoke from the fire at times
neglected the clay chimney and wreathed into the room, and this
flimsy chimney of clay and sticks made endless threats to set
ablaze the whole establishment.
The youth was in a little trance
of astonishment. So they were at last going to fight. On the
morrow, perhaps, there would be a battle, and he would be in it.
For a time he was obliged to labor to make himself believe. He
could not accept with assurance an omen that he was about to mingle
in one of those great affairs of the earth.
He had, of course, dreamed of
battles all his life—of vague and bloody conflicts that had
thrilled him with their sweep and fire. In visions he had seen
himself in many struggles. He had imagined peoples secure in the
shadow of his eagle-eyed prowess. But awake he had regarded battles
as crimson blotches on the pages of the past. He had put them as
things of the bygone with his thought-images of heavy crowns and
high castles. There was a portion of the world’s history which he
had regarded as the time of wars, but it, he thought, had been long
gone over the horizon and had disappeared forever.
From his home his youthful eyes
had looked upon the war in his own country with distrust. It must
be some sort of a play affair. He had long despaired of witnessing
a Greeklike struggle. Such would be no more, he had said. Men were
better, or more timid. Secular and religious education had effaced
the throat-grappling instinct, or else firm finance held in check
the passions.
He had burned several times to
enlist. Tales of great movements shook the land. They might not be
distinctly Homeric, but there seemed to be much glory in them. He
had read of marches, sieges, conflicts, and he had longed to see it
all. His busy mind had drawn for him large pictures extravagant in
color, lurid with breathless deeds.
But his mother had discouraged
him. She had affected to look with some contempt upon the quality
of his war ardor and patriotism. She could calmly seat herself and
with no apparent difficulty give him many hundreds of reasons why
he was of vastly more importance on the farm than on the field of
battle. She had had certain ways of expression that told him that
her statements on the subject came from a deep conviction.
Moreover, on her side, was his belief that her ethical motive in
the argument was impregnable.
At last, however, he had made
firm rebellion against this yellow light thrown upon the color of
his ambitions. The newspapers, the gossip of the village, his own
picturings, had aroused him to an uncheckable degree. They were in
truth fighting finely down there. Almost every day the newspaper
printed accounts of a decisive victory.
One night, as he lay in bed, the
winds had carried to him the clangoring of the church bell as some
enthusiast jerked the rope frantically to tell the twisted news of
a great battle. This voice of the people rejoicing in the night had
made him shiver in a prolonged ecstasy of excitement. Later, he had
gone down to his mother’s room and had spoken thus: “Ma, I’m going
to enlist.”
“Henry, don’t you be a fool,” his
mother had replied. She had then covered her face with the quilt.
There was an end to the matter for that night.
Nevertheless, the next morning he
had gone to a town that was near his mother’s farm and had enlisted
in a company that was forming there. When he had returned home his
mother was milking the brindle cow. Four others stood waiting. “Ma,
I’ve enlisted,” he had said to her diffidently. There was a short
silence. “The Lord’s will be done, Henry,” she had finally replied,
and had then continued to milk the brindle cow.
When he had stood in the doorway
with his soldier’s clothes on his back, and with the light of
excitement and expectancy in his eyes almost defeating the glow of
regret for the home bonds, he had seen two tears leaving their
trails on his mother’s scarred cheeks.
Still, she had disappointed him
by saying nothing whatever about returning with his shield or on
it. He had privately primed himself for a beautiful scene. He had
prepared certain sentences which he thought could be used with
touching effect. But her words destroyed his plans. She had
doggedly peeled potatoes and addressed him as follows: “You watch
out, Henry, an’ take good care of yerself in this here fighting
business—you watch, an’ take good care of yerself. Don’t go
a-thinkin’ you can lick the hull rebel army at the start, because
yeh can’t. Yer jest one little feller amongst a hull lot of others,
and yeh’ve got to keep quiet an’ do what they tell yeh. I know how
you are, Henry.
“I’ve knet yeh eight pair of
socks, Henry, and I’ve put in all yer best shirts, because I want
my boy to be jest as warm and comf’able as anybody in the army.
Whenever they get holes in ‘em, I want yeh to send ‘em right-away
back to me, so’s I kin dern ‘em.
“An’ allus be careful an’ choose
yer comp’ny. There’s lots of bad men in the army, Henry. The army
makes ‘em wild, and they like nothing better than the job of
leading off a young feller like you, as ain’t never been away from
home much and has allus had a mother, an’ a-learning ‘em to drink
and swear. Keep clear of them folks, Henry. I don’t want yeh to
ever do anything, Henry, that yeh would be ‘shamed to let me know
about. Jest think as if I was a-watchin’ yeh. If yeh keep that in
yer mind allus, I guess yeh’ll come out about right.
“Yeh must allus remember yer
father, too, child, an’ remember he never drunk a drop of licker in
his life, and seldom swore a cross oath.
“I don’t know what else to tell
yeh, Henry, excepting that yeh must never do no shirking, child, on
my account. If so be a time comes when yeh have to be kilt or do a
mean thing, why, Henry, don’t think of anything ‘cept what’s right,
because there’s many a woman has to bear up ‘ginst sech things
these times, and the Lord ‘ll take keer of us all.
“Don’t forgit about the socks and
the shirts, child; and I’ve put a cup of blackberry jam with yer
bundle, because I know
yeh like it above all things.
Good-by, Henry. Watch out, and be a good boy.”
He had, of course, been impatient
under the ordeal of this speech. It had not been quite what he
expected, and he had borne it with an air of irritation. He
departed feeling vague relief.
Still, when he had looked back
from the gate, he had seen his mother kneeling among the potato
parings. Her brown face, upraised, was stained with tears, and her
spare form was quivering. He bowed his head and went on, feeling
suddenly ashamed of his purposes.
From his home he had gone to the
seminary to bid adieu to many schoolmates. They had thronged about
him with wonder and admiration. He had felt the gulf now between
them and had swelled with calm pride. He and some of his fellows
who had donned blue were quite overwhelmed with privileges for all
of one afternoon, and it had been a very delicious thing. They had
strutted.
A certain light-haired girl had
made vivacious fun at his martial spirit, but there was another and
darker girl whom he had gazed at steadfastly, and he thought she
grew demure and sad at sight of his blue and brass. As he had
walked down the path between the rows of oaks, he had turned his
head and detected her at a window watching his departure. As he
perceived her, she had immediately begun to stare up through the
high tree branches at the sky. He had seen a good deal of flurry
and haste in her movement as she changed her attitude. He often
thought of it.
On the way to Washington his
spirit had soared. The regiment was fed and caressed at station
after station until the youth had believed that he must be a hero.
There was a lavish expenditure of bread and cold meats, coffee, and
pickles and cheese. As he basked in the smiles of the girls and was
patted and complimented by the old men, he had felt growing within
him the strength to do mighty deeds of arms.
After complicated journeyings
with many pauses, there had come months of monotonous life in a
camp. He had had the
belief that real war was a series
of death struggles with small time in between for sleep and meals;
but since his regiment had come to the field the army had done
little but sit still and try to keep warm.
He was brought then gradually
back to his old ideas. Greeklike struggles would be no more. Men
were better, or more timid. Secular and religious education had
effaced the throat-grappling instinct, or else firm finance held in
check the passions.
He had grown to regard himself
merely as a part of a vast blue demonstration. His province was to
look out, as far as he could, for his personal comfort. For
recreation he could twiddle his thumbs and speculate on the
thoughts which must agitate the minds of the generals. Also, he was
drilled and drilled and reviewed, and drilled and drilled and
reviewed.
The only foes he had seen were
some pickets along the river bank. They were a sun-tanned,
philosophical lot, who sometimes shot reflectively at the blue
pickets. When reproached for this afterward, they usually expressed
sorrow, and swore by their gods that the guns had exploded without
their permission. The youth, on guard duty one night, conversed
across the stream with one of them. He was a slightly ragged man,
who spat skillfully between his shoes and possessed a great fund of
bland and infantile assurance. The youth liked him
personally.
“Yank,” the other had informed
him, “yer a right dum good feller.” This sentiment, floating to him
upon the still air, had made him temporarily regret war.
Various veterans had told him
tales. Some talked of gray, bewhiskered hordes who were advancing
with relentless curses and chewing tobacco with unspeakable valor;
tremendous bodies of fierce soldiery who were sweeping along like
the Huns. Others spoke of tattered and eternally hungry men who
fired despondent powders. “They’ll charge through hell’s fire an’
brimstone t’ git a holt on a haversack, an’ sech stomachs ain’t
a’lastin’ long,” he was told. From the stories, the youth imagined
the red, live bones sticking out through slits in the faded
uniforms.
Still, he could not put a whole
faith in veteran’s tales, for recruits were their prey. They talked
much of smoke, fire, and blood, but he could not tell how much
might be lies. They persistently yelled “Fresh fish!” at him, and
were in no wise to be trusted.
However, he perceived now that it
did not greatly matter what kind of soldiers he was going to fight,
so long as they fought, which fact no one disputed. There was a
more serious problem. He lay in his bunk pondering upon it. He
tried to mathematically prove to himself that he would not run from
a battle.
Previously he had never felt
obliged to wrestle too seriously with this question. In his life he
had taken certain things for granted, never challenging his belief
in ultimate success, and bothering little about means and roads.
But here he was confronted with a thing of moment. It had suddenly
appeared to him that perhaps in a battle he might run. He was
forced to admit that as far as war was concerned he knew nothing of
himself.
A sufficient time before he would
have allowed the problem to kick its heels at the outer portals of
his mind, but now he felt compelled to give serious attention to
it.
A little panic-fear grew in his
mind. As his imagination went forward to a fight, he saw hideous
possibilities. He contemplated the lurking menaces of the future,
and failed in an effort to see himself standing stoutly in the
midst of them. He recalled his visions of broken-bladed glory, but
in the shadow of the impending tumult he suspected them to be
impossible pictures.
He sprang from the bunk and began
to pace nervously to and fro. “Good Lord, what’s th’ matter with
me?” he said aloud.
He felt that in this crisis his
laws of life were useless. Whatever he had learned of himself was
here of no avail. He was an unknown quantity. He saw that he would
again be obliged to experiment as he had in early youth. He must
accumulate information of himself, and meanwhile he
resolved to remain close upon his
guard lest those qualities of which he knew nothing should
everlastingly disgrace him. “Good Lord!” he repeated in
dismay.
After a time the tall soldier
slid dexterously through the hole. The loud private followed. They
were wrangling.
“That’s all right,” said the tall
soldier as he entered. He waved his hand expressively. “You can
believe me or not, jest as you like. All you got to do is sit down
and wait as quiet as you can. Then pretty soon you’ll find out I
was right.”
His comrade grunted stubbornly.
For a moment he seemed to be searching for a formidable reply.
Finally he said: “Well, you don’t know everything in the world, do
you?”
“Didn’t say I knew everything in
the world,” retorted the other sharply. He began to stow various
articles snugly into his knapsack.
The youth, pausing in his nervous
walk, looked down at the busy figure. “Going to be a battle, sure,
is there, Jim?” he asked.
“Of course there is,” replied the
tall soldier. “Of course there is. You jest wait ‘til to-morrow,
and you’ll see one of the biggest battles ever was. You jest
wait.”
“Thunder!” said the youth.
“Oh, you’ll see fighting this
time, my boy, what’ll be regular out-and-out fighting,” added the
tall soldier, with the air of a man who is about to exhibit a
battle for the benefit of his friends.
“Huh!” said the loud one from a
corner.
“Well,” remarked the youth, “like
as not this story’ll turn out jest like them others did.”
“Not much it won’t,” replied the
tall soldier, exasperated. “Not much it won’t. Didn’t the cavalry
all start this morning?” He glared about him. No one denied his
statement. “The cavalry started this morning,” he continued. “They
say there ain’t hardly any cavalry left in camp. They’re going to
Richmond, or some place, while we fight all the Johnnies.
It’s
some dodge like that. The
regiment’s got orders, too. A feller what seen ‘em go to
headquarters told me a little while ago. And they’re raising blazes
all over camp—anybody can see that.”
“Shucks!” said the loud
one.
The youth remained silent for a
time. At last he spoke to the tall soldier. “Jim!”
“What?”
“How do you think the reg’ment
‘ll do?”
“Oh, they’ll fight all right, I
guess, after they once get into it,” said the other with cold
judgment. He made a fine use of the third person. “There’s been
heaps of fun poked at ‘em because they’re new, of course, and all
that; but they’ll fight all right, I guess.”
“Think any of the boys ‘ll run?”
persisted the youth.
“Oh, there may be a few of ‘em
run, but there’s them kind in every regiment, ‘specially when they
first goes under fire,” said the other in a tolerant way. “Of
course it might happen that the hull kit-and-boodle might start and
run, if some big fighting came first-off, and then again they might
stay and fight like fun. But you can’t bet on nothing. Of course
they ain’t never been under fire yet, and it ain’t likely they’ll
lick the hull rebel army all-to-oncet the first time; but I think
they’ll fight better than some, if worse than others. That’s the
way I figger. They call the reg’ment ‘Fresh fish’ and everything;
but the boys come of good stock, and most of ‘em ‘ll fight like sin
after they oncet git shootin’,” he added, with a mighty emphasis on
the last four words.
“Oh, you think you know—” began
the loud soldier with scorn.
The other turned savagely upon
him. They had a rapid altercation, in which they fastened upon each
other various strange epithets.
The youth at last interrupted
them. “Did you ever think you might run yourself, Jim?” he asked.
On concluding the
sentence he laughed as if he had
meant to aim a joke. The loud soldier also giggled.