Words in my blood E-Book

Frankie Escandon

• Herausgeber: BookRix
• Kategorie: Poesie und Drama
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2015

Beschreibung

Emotions is like words. From pen to paper I bring you poetry that will bring you into my world. That may help you reflect on anything you're currently going through, or went through. 

Leseprobe

Frankie Escandon

Words in my blood

BIG DREAMS Publishing

BookRix GmbH & Co. KG80331 Munich

Chapter 1

You'll never understand 

With your humor you made me laugh, 

with your positive presence, you made me smile you taught me to never give up and to smile at the negative. You taught me self respect and to fight for what I want but when you weren't what you seemed, a piece of my heart was gone. You were my hero and my role model, who got me through the hard times I was struck by jealousy, when I saw you lock lips with someone else when I thought If I could, I'd make you mine. It's who you are and everything you are that made me fall for you but i fell harder than I landed you don't seem to care, and you'll never understand.

Chapter 2

 Rain

Drops of emotion. 

Drops of memories. And splashes of pain. Drops of words I want to say, but can’t. The coldness of depression that buries me in a whole with my nemesis-me. Rain. The water, In reflection of sadness, and in despair of what I’m not. Thunder & lightening. The devious, yet sinful & evil sounds of my subliminal anger at those who done me no wrong. Rain. All the thoughts I let lose. Pull my heart out as I let go, Of all the past I once held on to. 

Chapter 3

 For a long while 

 You walked along for a while only for a while.  with stretched toes, tired of chasing   you Did I take a wrong turn? Or didn't I lead you right? Maybe I was too fast or maybe too slow? just let know cause alone doesn't scare me without you does...

Chapter 4

 3 words 

  I  love you.  The words that have melted my heart to pieces. 3 words that put a bullet through all the love i gave. Along with all the painful memories in a bottle full of painful addictions as i am the arm- an the words you speak of is the needle. Deep down inside my heart.... I know i love her. But what for? My feelings for her are empty. And thrown away!. Just left me thinking we would have a life together. Grow old, an be happy forever. But I'm wrong. Your eyes are full of deceit. And your smile is full of envious empty love mixed with cold promises. I love you. 3 words i refuse to believe. 3 words that have my heart run out blood emotionally,an bleed.  

Chapter 5

  Phobias 

 Just me, an my thoughts. It's all i hear. No conversation, or bodies of physical passionate sex. Just me by myself. Sleeping alone. Worst thing for me- emotionally. Being alone- worst thing for me - mentally. The only thing i see is darkness. There isn't a girl sleeping next to me. No love connection. Just emptiness. Like the person your thinking about, isn't with you tonight. Or always. Both phobias- On my mind constantly. In search of that woman, to erase the phobias in my mind.

Chapter 6

 How could you?

  I loved you. Gave all my love to you, an treated you like you are my one an only. My princess. How could you? Love someone else, an not the man you had in your life..... Did you really love me? Or was it just the lack of no sexual time spent? How could you? Tell me you love me an say all those nice words  an led to the reflection of me being emotionally hurt!  Lie to me.  More than twice. I guess your not happy til those words you spoke, are bad memroies in reguards to tears in my eyes. How could you? Take my kindness for granite, an leave me to drown in the ocean of our apparent future that long crashed..... How could you? Tell me you love me til those words are no longer believed blinded by the images of you with him- hormonal sex i can no longer see you the same way i once thought- how could you? you poisoned me with your kiss, an abused me with your sinful lust-

Chapter 7

 Heart broken (Wholes inmy heart)

 I'm heart broken. In & out of a relationship with a girl that doesn't love me one bit. I no longer struggle to chase my dream. But what i reach for, i can't find. the missing pieces to the wholes in my heart. Filled with no love,or happiness. The dark clouds and wind to a dangerous storm. LOVE. 4 letters- A word that is dangerous,yet, fulfilling to the mind an heart. A feeling i longer feel. An emptiness of it. I LOVE YOU. The 3 simple words that can re-build or bruise. I'm heart broken. With holes in my heart. Both sides of me are functional. And dysfunctional. Through it all- I manage to smile. When will those 3 words mean something?. When will i find love? Or when will, love find me?. I wonder.....  Maybe I'll be wondering an waiting til forever. 

Chapter 8

 Family 

 Why do they insist on pushing me down?. Calling me names. Mocking my personality. The words of your lack of happiness and support is the strength of your hands, strangling my heart. Don't they want me to be happy?. I can't be how i want to be. I love them. But what did i do,to deserve to be the target of hate?. Why am i the black sheep?. let me be. Let me live my life. I refuse to be a hostage of your cruel words, with your hideous demands. Don't i help out enough?. I can't help it, if I'm a burden of your lack of appreciation. I'm emotionally weak. I'm tired of trying to please you all!. Why try-when you don't care enough tp pay attention to what's going on in my life!. You just ignore me-like i draw no existence. You all are not perfect. Neither am i.   Where is your decency to put a smile on my face?.   But from all the times i cried myself to sleep.... I'm still nothing to all of you.  Why slow down an hit all the bumps?. Keep pushing me down, but you will notice me on the way up. I don't show how invisible i feel.  And you can't see the emptiness in me.  You just see, who you think i am. Ashamed to say- family. 

Chapter 9

 Sex angel (Beauty)

  Her hands touching my body. Her lips kissing mine. The swipe of her tongue, caressing my tongue. Deeply. Passionately.   My hands going through her hair. My hands, touching her body. Love. Lust. And the connection i feel. The way she kisses me is more than magic. Her eyes..... Bright enough to shine in my dark world. Blue. Ocean color- Clear enough to see how i begin to fall in love with her from the start. It's not just her touch. Or her smile.  It's the way she has a hold on me- to more than the extent of love making filed with passionate intimacy. She is my goddess. I'm her one an only love. She is my sex angel. My beauty. 

Chapter 10

 Woman of my dreams

 I spend my days staring out a window.  Full of questions an thoughts. I wonder what the woman of my dreams looks like. Is she as beautiful as i imagine?. Does her eyes change colors?. I hope she wants me for me. Hormones strong for a night of passion intimacy. Questions an thoughts...Woman of my dreams.... What is she like?. Does she have a smile, as bright as the skyline of Canada?. Is her touch delicate enough, to heal a salted wound?. Is her love worth holding on to?. Is her maturity strong enough to make a rainy day sunny?. I want to be able to wake-up to her smile. A face i can remember. I miss her when she leaves. Love her when she is around. Woman of my dreams.

Chapter 11

 A real man 

 A real man provides for his family.  Builds up on a home. A real man represents who he is. He does not strike a woman with his hands. Or abuses with words. He heals her pain with his hands. A real man does not bring out aggression towards his kid, or wife. He always does what he thinks is right. A real man does not abandon his chromosome. A real man does not draw violence to any conclusion. His patience is his tolerance for stupidity.   A real man,loves a woman like never before. Shows manners. Is a true gentleman. Pulls out chairs. And opens doors. A real man... Holds a woman... As if he won't let her go. Like there is a not a thing he would give her up, or trade for. A real man, is supportive an understanding. A real man, is an example of fathers or guys who aren't real men. 

Chapter 12

 Love me (No mistake) 

 Your heart.....The beat to my lyrics. The melody to my thoughts. Your eyes...Full of thought.  I get lost in them. Like I'm starring at waves at an ocean.  Your smile....The brightness to my dark world. And the tolerance, of my anger, that is bottled, but that is never brought out on you.  Your words....Unique. Inspiration to me. The words to my heart, to revive from pain, an these scars.  The touch of your hands....The wash away to my tears. The touch of a goddess. The protection to my security.  And when you say you love me,  it is no mistake.  it's true love. Real love.  Love me.  No mistake.