Lady chatterleys lover
Lady chatterleys loverCHAPTER 1CHAPTER 2CHAPTER 3CHAPTER 4CHAPTER 5CHAPTER 6CHAPTER 7CHAPTER 8CHAPTER 9CHAPTER 10CHAPTER 11CHAPTER 12CHAPTER 13CHAPTER 14CHAPTER 15CHAPTER 16CHAPTER 17CHAPTER 18CHAPTER 19Copyright
Lady chatterleys lover
D. H. Lawrence
CHAPTER 1
Ours is essentially a tragic age, so we refuse to take it
tragically. The cataclysm has happened, we are among the ruins, we
start to build up new little habitats, to have new little hopes. It
is rather hard work: there is now no smooth road into the future:
but we go round, or scramble over the obstacles. We've got to live,
no matter how many skies have fallen.This was more or less Constance Chatterley's position. The
war had brought the roof down over her head. And she had realized
that one must live and learn.She married Clifford Chatterley in 1917, when he was home for
a month on leave. They had a month's honeymoon. Then he went back
to Flanders: to be shipped over to England again six months later,
more or less in bits. Constance, his wife, was then twenty-three
years old, and he was twenty-nine.His hold on life was marvellous. He didn't die, and the bits
seemed to grow together again. For two years he remained in the
doctor's hands. Then he was pronounced a cure, and could return to
life again, with the lower half of his body, from the hips down,
paralysed for ever.This was in 1920. They returned, Clifford and Constance, to
his home, Wragby Hall, the family 'seat'. His father had died,
Clifford was now a baronet, Sir Clifford, and Constance was Lady
Chatterley. They came to start housekeeping and married life in the
rather forlorn home of the Chatterleys on a rather inadequate
income. Clifford had a sister, but she had departed. Otherwise
there were no near relatives. The elder brother was dead in the
war. Crippled for ever, knowing he could never have any children,
Clifford came home to the smoky Midlands to keep the Chatterley
name alive while he could.He was not really downcast. He could wheel himself about in a
wheeled chair, and he had a bath-chair with a small motor
attachment, so he could drive himself slowly round the garden and
into the fine melancholy park, of which he was really so proud,
though he pretended to be flippant about it.Having suffered so much, the capacity for suffering had to
some extent left him. He remained strange and bright and cheerful,
almost, one might say, chirpy, with his ruddy, healthy-looking
face, and his pale-blue, challenging bright eyes. His shoulders
were broad and strong, his hands were very strong. He was
expensively dressed, and wore handsome neckties from Bond Street.
Yet still in his face one saw the watchful look, the slight vacancy
of a cripple.He had so very nearly lost his life, that what remained was
wonderfully precious to him. It was obvious in the anxious
brightness of his eyes, how proud he was, after the great shock, of
being alive. But he had been so much hurt that something inside him
had perished, some of his feelings had gone. There was a blank of
insentience.Constance, his wife, was a ruddy, country-looking girl with
soft brown hair and sturdy body, and slow movements, full of
unusual energy. She had big, wondering eyes, and a soft mild voice,
and seemed just to have come from her native village. It was not so
at all. Her father was the once well-known R. A., old Sir Malcolm
Reid. Her mother had been one of the cultivated Fabians in the
palmy, rather pre-Raphaelite days. Between artists and cultured
socialists, Constance and her sister Hilda had had what might be
called an aesthetically unconventional upbringing. They had been
taken to Paris and Florence and Rome to breathe in art, and they
had been taken also in the other direction, to the Hague and
Berlin, to great Socialist conventions, where the speakers spoke in
every civilized tongue, and no one was abashed.The two girls, therefore, were from an early age not the
least daunted by either art or ideal politics. It was their natural
atmosphere. They were at once cosmopolitan and provincial, with the
cosmopolitan provincialism of art that goes with pure social
ideals.They had been sent to Dresden at the age of fifteen, for
music among other things. And they had had a good time there. They
lived freely among the students, they argued with the men over
philosophical, sociological and artistic matters, they were just as
good as the men themselves: only better, since they were women. And
they tramped off to the forests with sturdy youths bearing guitars,
twang-twang! They sang the Wandervogel songs, and they were free.
Free! That was the great word. Out in the open world, out in the
forests of the morning, with lusty and splendid-throated young
fellows, free to do as they liked, and--above all--to say what they
liked. It was the talk that mattered supremely: the impassioned
interchange of talk. Love was only a minor
accompaniment.Both Hilda and Constance had had their tentative love-affairs
by the time they were eighteen. The young men with whom they talked
so passionately and sang so lustily and camped under the trees in
such freedom wanted, of course, the love connexion. The girls were
doubtful, but then the thing was so much talked about, it was
supposed to be so important. And the men were so humble and
craving. Why couldn't a girl be queenly, and give the gift of
herself?So they had given the gift of themselves, each to the youth
with whom she had the most subtle and intimate arguments. The
arguments, the discussions were the great thing: the love-making
and connexion were only a sort of primitive reversion and a bit of
an anti-climax. One was less in love with the boy afterwards, and a
little inclined to hate him, as if he had trespassed on one's
privacy and inner freedom. For, of course, being a girl, one's
whole dignity and meaning in life consisted in the achievement of
an absolute, a perfect, a pure and noble freedom. What else did a
girl's life mean? To shake off the old and sordid connexions and
subjections.And however one might sentimentalize it, this sex business
was one of the most ancient, sordid connexions and subjections.
Poets who glorified it were mostly men. Women had always known
there was something better, something higher. And now they knew it
more definitely than ever. The beautiful pure freedom of a woman
was infinitely more wonderful than any sexual love. The only
unfortunate thing was that men lagged so far behind women in the
matter. They insisted on the sex thing like dogs.And a woman had to yield. A man was like a child with his
appetites. A woman had to yield him what he wanted, or like a child
he would probably turn nasty and flounce away and spoil what was a
very pleasant connexion. But a woman could yield to a man without
yielding her inner, free self. That the poets and talkers about sex
did not seem to have taken sufficiently into account. A woman could
take a man without really giving herself away. Certainly she could
take him without giving herself into his power. Rather she could
use this sex thing to have power over him. For she only had to hold
herself back in sexual intercourse, and let him finish and expend
himself without herself coming to the crisis: and then she could
prolong the connexion and achieve her orgasm and her crisis while
he was merely her tool.Both sisters had had their love experience by the time the
war came, and they were hurried home. Neither was ever in love with
a young man unless he and she were verbally very near: that is
unless they were profoundly interested,talkingto one another. The amazing,
the profound, the unbelievable thrill there was in passionately
talking to some really clever young man by the hour, resuming day
after day for months...this they had never realized till it
happened! The paradisal promise: Thou shalt have men to talk
to!--had never been uttered. It was fulfilled before they knew what
a promise it was.And if after the roused intimacy of these vivid and
soul-enlightened discussions the sex thing became more or less
inevitable, then let it. It marked the end of a chapter. It had a
thrill of its own too: a queer vibrating thrill inside the body, a
final spasm of self-assertion, like the last word, exciting, and
very like the row of asterisks that can be put to show the end of a
paragraph, and a break in the theme.When the girls came home for the summer holidays of 1913,
when Hilda was twenty and Connie eighteen, their father could see
plainly that they had had the love experience.L'amour avait passe par la, as
somebody puts it. But he was a man of experience himself, and let
life take its course. As for the mother, a nervous invalid in the
last few months of her life, she wanted her girls to be 'free', and
to 'fulfil themselves'. She herself had never been able to be
altogether herself: it had been denied her. Heaven knows why, for
she was a woman who had her own income and her own way. She blamed
her husband. But as a matter of fact, it was some old impression of
authority on her own mind or soul that she could not get rid of. It
had nothing to do with Sir Malcolm, who left his nervously hostile,
high-spirited wife to rule her own roost, while he went his own
way.So the girls were 'free', and went back to Dresden, and their
music, and the university and the young men. They loved their
respective young men, and their respective young men loved them
with all the passion of mental attraction. All the wonderful things
the young men thought and expressed and wrote, they thought and
expressed and wrote for the young women. Connie's young man was
musical, Hilda's was technical. But they simply lived for their
young women. In their minds and their mental excitements, that is.
Somewhere else they were a little rebuffed, though they did not
know it.It was obvious in them too that love had gone through them:
that is, the physical experience. It is curious what a subtle but
unmistakable transmutation it makes, both in the body of men and
women: the woman more blooming, more subtly rounded, her young
angularities softened, and her expression either anxious or
triumphant: the man much quieter, more inward, the very shapes of
his shoulders and his buttocks less assertive, more
hesitant.In the actual sex-thrill within the body, the sisters nearly
succumbed to the strange male power. But quickly they recovered
themselves, took the sex-thrill as a sensation, and remained free.
Whereas the men, in gratitude to the woman for the sex experience,
let their souls go out to her. And afterwards looked rather as if
they had lost a shilling and found sixpence. Connie's man could be
a bit sulky, and Hilda's a bit jeering. But that is how men are!
Ungrateful and never satisfied. When you don't have them they hate
you because you won't; and when you do have them they hate you
again, for some other reason. Or for no reason at all, except that
they are discontented children, and can't be satisfied whatever
they get, let a woman do what she may.However, came the war, Hilda and Connie were rushed home
again after having been home already in May, to their mother's
funeral. Before Christmas of 1914 both their German young men were
dead: whereupon the sisters wept, and loved the young men
passionately, but underneath forgot them. They didn't exist any
more.Both sisters lived in their father's, really their mother's,
Kensington house, and mixed with the young Cambridge group, the
group that stood for 'freedom' and flannel trousers, and flannel
shirts open at the neck, and a well-bred sort of emotional anarchy,
and a whispering, murmuring sort of voice, and an ultra-sensitive
sort of manner. Hilda, however, suddenly married a man ten years
older than herself, an elder member of the same Cambridge group, a
man with a fair amount of money, and a comfortable family job in
the government: he also wrote philosophical essays. She lived with
him in a smallish house in Westminster, and moved in that good sort
of society of people in the government who are not tip-toppers, but
who are, or would be, the real intelligent power in the nation:
people who know what they're talking about, or talk as if they
did.Connie did a mild form of war-work, and consorted with the
flannel-trousers Cambridge intransigents, who gently mocked at
everything, so far. Her 'friend' was a Clifford Chatterley, a young
man of twenty-two, who had hurried home from Bonn, where he was
studying the technicalities of coal-mining. He had previously spent
two years at Cambridge. Now he had become a first lieutenant in a
smart regiment, so he could mock at everything more becomingly in
uniform.Clifford Chatterley was more upper-class than Connie. Connie
was well-to-do intelligentsia, but he was aristocracy. Not the big
sort, but still it. His father was a baronet, and his mother had
been a viscount's daughter.But Clifford, while he was better bred than Connie, and more
'society', was in his own way more provincial and more timid. He
was at his ease in the narrow 'great world', that is, landed
aristocracy society, but he was shy and nervous of all that other
big world which consists of the vast hordes of the middle and lower
classes, and foreigners. If the truth must be told, he was just a
little bit frightened of middle-and lower-class humanity, and of
foreigners not of his own class. He was, in some paralysing way,
conscious of his own defencelessness, though he had all the defence
of privilege. Which is curious, but a phenomenon of our
day.Therefore the peculiar soft assurance of a girl like
Constance Reid fascinated him. She was so much more mistress of
herself in that outer world of chaos than he was master of
himself.Nevertheless he too was a rebel: rebelling even against his
class. Or perhaps rebel is too strong a word; far too strong. He
was only caught in the general, popular recoil of the young against
convention and against any sort of real authority. Fathers were
ridiculous: his own obstinate one supremely so. And governments
were ridiculous: our own wait-and-see sort especially so. And
armies were ridiculous, and old buffers of generals altogether, the
red-faced Kitchener supremely. Even the war was ridiculous, though
it did kill rather a lot of people.In fact everything was a little ridiculous, or very
ridiculous: certainly everything connected with authority, whether
it were in the army or the government or the universities, was
ridiculous to a degree. And as far as the governing class made any
pretensions to govern, they were ridiculous too. Sir Geoffrey,
Clifford's father, was intensely ridiculous, chopping down his
trees, and weeding men out of his colliery to shove them into the
war; and himself being so safe and patriotic; but, also, spending
more money on his country than he'd got.When Miss Chatterley--Emma--came down to London from the
Midlands to do some nursing work, she was very witty in a quiet way
about Sir Geoffrey and his determined patriotism. Herbert, the
elder brother and heir, laughed outright, though it was his trees
that were felling for trench props. But Clifford only smiled a
little uneasily. Everything was ridiculous, quite true. But when it
came too close and oneself became ridiculous too...? At least
people of a different class, like Connie, were earnest about
something. They believed in something.They were rather earnest about the Tommies, and the threat of
conscription, and the shortage of sugar and toffee for the
children. In all these things, of course, the authorities were
ridiculously at fault. But Clifford could not take it to heart. To
him the authorities were ridiculousab
ovo, not because of toffee or
Tommies.And the authorities felt ridiculous, and behaved in a rather
ridiculous fashion, and it was all a mad hatter's tea-party for a
while. Till things developed over there, and Lloyd George came to
save the situation over here. And this surpassed even ridicule, the
flippant young laughed no more.In 1916 Herbert Chatterley was killed, so Clifford became
heir. He was terrified even of this. His importance as son of Sir
Geoffrey, and child of Wragby, was so ingrained in him, he could
never escape it. And yet he knew that this too, in the eyes of the
vast seething world, was ridiculous. Now he was heir and
responsible for Wragby. Was that not terrible? and also splendid
and at the same time, perhaps, purely absurd?Sir Geoffrey would have none of the absurdity. He was pale
and tense, withdrawn into himself, and obstinately determined to
save his country and his own position, let it be Lloyd George or
who it might. So cut off he was, so divorced from the England that
was really England, so utterly incapable, that he even thought well
of Horatio Bottomley. Sir Geoffrey stood for England and Lloyd
George as his forebears had stood for England and St George: and he
never knew there was a difference. So Sir Geoffrey felled timber
and stood for Lloyd George and England, England and Lloyd
George.And he wanted Clifford to marry and produce an heir. Clifford
felt his father was a hopeless anachronism. But wherein was he
himself any further ahead, except in a wincing sense of the
ridiculousness of everything, and the paramount ridiculousness of
his own position? For willy-nilly he took his baronetcy and Wragby
with the last seriousness.The gay excitement had gone out of the war...dead. Too much
death and horror. A man needed support and comfort. A man needed to
have an anchor in the safe world. A man needed a wife.The Chatterleys, two brothers and a sister, had lived
curiously isolated, shut in with one another at Wragby, in spite of
all their connexions. A sense of isolation intensified the family
tie, a sense of the weakness of their position, a sense of
defencelessness, in spite of, or because of, the title and the
land. They were cut off from those industrial Midlands in which
they passed their lives. And they were cut off from their own class
by the brooding, obstinate, shut-up nature of Sir Geoffrey, their
father, whom they ridiculed, but whom they were so sensitive
about.The three had said they would all live together always. But
now Herbert was dead, and Sir Geoffrey wanted Clifford to marry.
Sir Geoffrey barely mentioned it: he spoke very little. But his
silent, brooding insistence that it should be so was hard for
Clifford to bear up against.But Emma said No! She was ten years older than Clifford, and
she felt his marrying would be a desertion and a betrayal of what
the young ones of the family had stood for.Clifford married Connie, nevertheless, and had his month's
honeymoon with her. It was the terrible year 1917, and they were
intimate as two people who stand together on a sinking ship. He had
been virgin when he married: and the sex part did not mean much to
him. They were so close, he and she, apart from that. And Connie
exulted a little in this intimacy which was beyond sex, and beyond
a man's 'satisfaction'. Clifford anyhow was not just keen on his
'satisfaction', as so many men seemed to be. No, the intimacy was
deeper, more personal than that. And sex was merely an accident, or
an adjunct, one of the curious obsolete, organic processes which
persisted in its own clumsiness, but was not really necessary.
Though Connie did want children: if only to fortify her against her
sister-in-law Emma.But early in 1918 Clifford was shipped home smashed, and
there was no child. And Sir Geoffrey died of chagrin.
CHAPTER 2
Connie and Clifford came home to Wragby in the autumn of
1920. Miss Chatterley, still disgusted at her brother's defection,
had departed and was living in a little flat in
London.Wragby was a long low old house in brown stone, begun about
the middle of the eighteenth century, and added on to, till it was
a warren of a place without much distinction. It stood on an
eminence in a rather fine old park of oak trees, but alas, one
could see in the near distance the chimney of Tevershall pit, with
its clouds of steam and smoke, and on the damp, hazy distance of
the hill the raw straggle of Tevershall village, a village which
began almost at the park gates, and trailed in utter hopeless
ugliness for a long and gruesome mile: houses, rows of wretched,
small, begrimed, brick houses, with black slate roofs for lids,
sharp angles and wilful, blank dreariness.Connie was accustomed to Kensington or the Scotch hills or
the Sussex downs: that was her England. With the stoicism of the
young she took in the utter, soulless ugliness of the coal-and-iron
Midlands at a glance, and left it at what it was: unbelievable and
not to be thought about. From the rather dismal rooms at Wragby she
heard the rattle-rattle of the screens at the pit, the puff of the
winding-engine, the clink-clink of shunting trucks, and the hoarse
little whistle of the colliery locomotives. Tevershall pit-bank was
burning, had been burning for years, and it would cost thousands to
put it out. So it had to burn. And when the wind was that way,
which was often, the house was full of the stench of this
sulphurous combustion of the earth's excrement. But even on
windless days the air always smelt of something under-earth:
sulphur, iron, coal, or acid. And even on the Christmas roses the
smuts settled persistently, incredible, like black manna from the
skies of doom.Well, there it was: fated like the rest of things! It was
rather awful, but why kick? You couldn't kick it away. It just went
on. Life, like all the rest! On the low dark ceiling of cloud at
night red blotches burned and quavered, dappling and swelling and
contracting, like burns that give pain. It was the furnaces. At
first they fascinated Connie with a sort of horror; she felt she
was living underground. Then she got used to them. And in the
morning it rained.Clifford professed to like Wragby better than London. This
country had a grim will of its own, and the people had guts. Connie
wondered what else they had: certainly neither eyes nor minds. The
people were as haggard, shapeless, and dreary as the countryside,
and as unfriendly. Only there was something in their deep-mouthed
slurring of the dialect, and the thresh-thresh of their hob-nailed
pit-boots as they trailed home in gangs on the asphalt from work,
that was terrible and a bit mysterious.There had been no welcome home for the young squire, no
festivities, no deputation, not even a single flower. Only a dank
ride in a motor-car up a dark, damp drive, burrowing through gloomy
trees, out to the slope of the park where grey damp sheep were
feeding, to the knoll where the house spread its dark brown facade,
and the housekeeper and her husband were hovering, like unsure
tenants on the face of the earth, ready to stammer a
welcome.There was no communication between Wragby Hall and Tevershall
village, none. No caps were touched, no curtseys bobbed. The
colliers merely stared; the tradesmen lifted their caps to Connie
as to an acquaintance, and nodded awkwardly to Clifford; that was
all. Gulf impassable, and a quiet sort of resentment on either
side. At first Connie suffered from the steady drizzle of
resentment that came from the village. Then she hardened herself to
it, and it became a sort of tonic, something to live up to. It was
not that she and Clifford were unpopular, they merely belonged to
another species altogether from the colliers. Gulf impassable,
breach indescribable, such as is perhaps nonexistent south of the
Trent. But in the Midlands and the industrial North gulf
impassable, across which no communication could take place. You
stick to your side, I'll stick to mine! A strange denial of the
common pulse of humanity.Yet the village sympathized with Clifford and Connie in the
abstract. In the flesh it was--You leave me alone!--on either
side.The rector was a nice man of about sixty, full of his duty,
and reduced, personally, almost to a nonentity by the silent--You
leave me alone!--of the village. The miners' wives were nearly all
Methodists. The miners were nothing. But even so much official
uniform as the clergyman wore was enough to obscure entirely the
fact that he was a man like any other man. No, he was Mester Ashby,
a sort of automatic preaching and praying concern.This stubborn, instinctive--We think ourselves as good as
you, if youareLady
Chatterley!--puzzled and baffled Connie at first extremely. The
curious, suspicious, false amiability with which the miners' wives
met her overtures; the curiously offensive tinge of--Oh dear me!
Iamsomebody now, with Lady
Chatterley talking to me! But she needn't think I'm not as good as
her for all that!--which she always heard twanging in the women's
half-fawning voices, was impossible. There was no getting past it.
It was hopelessly and offensively nonconformist.Clifford left them alone, and she learnt to do the same: she
just went by without looking at them, and they stared as if she
were a walking wax figure. When he had to deal with them, Clifford
was rather haughty and contemptuous; one could no longer afford to
be friendly. In fact he was altogether rather supercilious and
contemptuous of anyone not in his own class. He stood his ground,
without any attempt at conciliation. And he was neither liked nor
disliked by the people: he was just part of things, like the
pit-bank and Wragby itself.But Clifford was really extremely shy and self-conscious now
he was lamed. He hated seeing anyone except just the personal
servants. For he had to sit in a wheeled chair or a sort of
bath-chair. Nevertheless he was just as carefully dressed as ever,
by his expensive tailors, and he wore the careful Bond Street
neckties just as before, and from the top he looked just as smart
and impressive as ever. He had never been one of the modern
ladylike young men: rather bucolic even, with his ruddy face and
broad shoulders. But his very quiet, hesitating voice, and his
eyes, at the same time bold and frightened, assured and uncertain,
revealed his nature. His manner was often offensively supercilious,
and then again modest and self-effacing, almost
tremulous.Connie and he were attached to one another, in the aloof
modern way. He was much too hurt in himself, the great shock of his
maiming, to be easy and flippant. He was a hurt thing. And as such
Connie stuck to him passionately.But she could not help feeling how little connexion he really
had with people. The miners were, in a sense, his own men; but he
saw them as objects rather than men, parts of the pit rather than
parts of life, crude raw phenomena rather than human beings along
with him. He was in some way afraid of them, he could not bear to
have them look at him now he was lame. And their queer, crude life
seemed as unnatural as that of hedgehogs.He was remotely interested; but like a man looking down a
microscope, or up a telescope. He was not in touch. He was not in
actual touch with anybody, save, traditionally, with Wragby, and,
through the close bond of family defence, with Emma. Beyond this
nothing really touched him. Connie felt that she herself didn't
really, not really touch him; perhaps there was nothing to get at
ultimately; just a negation of human contact.Yet he was absolutely dependent on her, he needed her every
moment. Big and strong as he was, he was helpless. He could wheel
himself about in a wheeled chair, and he had a sort of bath-chair
with a motor attachment, in which he could puff slowly round the
park. But alone he was like a lost thing. He needed Connie to be
there, to assure him he existed at all.Still he was ambitious. He had taken to writing stories;
curious, very personal stories about people he had known. Clever,
rather spiteful, and yet, in some mysterious way, meaningless. The
observation was extraordinary and peculiar. But there was no touch,
no actual contact. It was as if the whole thing took place in a
vacuum. And since the field of life is largely an
artificially-lighted stage today, the stories were curiously true
to modern life, to the modern psychology, that is.Clifford was almost morbidly sensitive about these stories.
He wanted everyone to think them good, of the best,ne plus ultra. They appeared in the
most modern magazines, and were praised and blamed as usual. But to
Clifford the blame was torture, like knives goading him. It was as
if the whole of his being were in his stories.Connie helped him as much as she could. At first she was
thrilled. He talked everything over with her monotonously,
insistently, persistently, and she had to respond with all her
might. It was as if her whole soul and body and sex had to rouse up
and pass into theme stories of his. This thrilled her and absorbed
her.Of physical life they lived very little. She had to
superintend the house. But the housekeeper had served Sir Geoffrey
for many years, and the dried-up, elderly, superlatively correct
female you could hardly call her a parlour-maid, or even a
woman...who waited at table, had been in the house for forty years.
Even the very housemaids were no longer young. It was awful! What
could you do with such a place, but leave it alone! All these
endless rooms that nobody used, all the Midlands routine, the
mechanical cleanliness and the mechanical order! Clifford had
insisted on a new cook, an experienced woman who had served him in
his rooms in London. For the rest the place seemed run by
mechanical anarchy. Everything went on in pretty good order, strict
cleanliness, and strict punctuality; even pretty strict honesty.
And yet, to Connie, it was a methodical anarchy. No warmth of
feeling united it organically. The house seemed as dreary as a
disused street.What could she do but leave it alone? So she left it alone.
Miss Chatterley came sometimes, with her aristocratic thin face,
and triumphed, finding nothing altered. She would never forgive
Connie for ousting her from her union in consciousness with her
brother. It was she, Emma, who should be bringing forth the
stories, these books, with him; the Chatterley stories, something
new in the world, thatthey,
the Chatterleys, had put there. There was no other standard. There
was no organic connexion with the thought and expression that had
gone before. Only something new in the world: the Chatterley books,
entirely personal.Connie's father, where he paid a flying visit to Wragby, and
in private to his daughter: As for Clifford's writing, it's smart,
but there'snothing in it. It
won't last! Connie looked at the burly Scottish knight who had done
himself well all his life, and her eyes, her big, still-wondering
blue eyes became vague. Nothing in it! What did he mean by nothing
in it? If the critics praised it, and Clifford's name was almost
famous, and it even brought in money...what did her father mean by
saying there was nothing in Clifford's writing? What else could
there be?For Connie had adopted the standard of the young: what there
was in the moment was everything. And moments followed one another
without necessarily belonging to one another.It was in her second winter at Wragby her father said to her:
'I hope, Connie, you won't let circumstances force you into being a
demi-vierge.''A demi-vierge!' replied Connie vaguely. 'Why? Why
not?''Unless you like it, of course!' said her father hastily. To
Clifford he said the same, when the two men were alone: 'I'm afraid
it doesn't quite suit Connie to be a demi-vierge.''A half-virgin!' replied Clifford, translating the phrase to
be sure of it.He thought for a moment, then flushed very red. He was angry
and offended.'In what way doesn't it suit her?' he asked
stiffly.'She's getting thin...angular. It's not her style. She's not
the pilchard sort of little slip of a girl, she's a bonny Scotch
trout.''Without the spots, of course!' said Clifford.He wanted to say something later to Connie about the
demi-vierge business...the half-virgin state of her affairs. But he
could not bring himself to do it. He was at once too intimate with
her and not intimate enough. He was so very much at one with her,
in his mind and hers, but bodily they were non-existent to one
another, and neither could bear to drag in the corpus delicti. They
were so intimate, and utterly out of touch.Connie guessed, however, that her father had said something,
and that something was in Clifford's mind. She knew that he didn't
mind whether she were demi-vierge or demi-monde, so long as he
didn't absolutely know, and wasn't made to see. What the eye
doesn't see and the mind doesn't know, doesn't exist.Connie and Clifford had now been nearly two years at Wragby,
living their vague life of absorption in Clifford and his work.
Their interests had never ceased to flow together over his work.
They talked and wrestled in the throes of composition, and felt as
if something were happening, really happening, really in the
void.And thus far it was a life: in the void. For the rest it was
non-existence. Wragby was there, the servants...but spectral, not
really existing. Connie went for walks in the park, and in the
woods that joined the park, and enjoyed the solitude and the
mystery, kicking the brown leaves of autumn, and picking the
primroses of spring. But it was all a dream; or rather it was like
the simulacrum of reality. The oak-leaves were to her like
oak-leaves seen ruffling in a mirror, she herself was a figure
somebody had read about, picking primroses that were only shadows
or memories, or words. No substance to her or anything...no touch,
no contact! Only this life with Clifford, this endless spinning of
webs of yarn, of the minutiae of consciousness, these stories Sir
Malcolm said there was nothing in, and they wouldn't last. Why
should there be anything in them, why should they last? Sufficient
unto the day is the evil thereof. Sufficient unto the moment is
theappearanceof
reality.Clifford had quite a number of friends, acquaintances really,
and he invited them to Wragby. He invited all sorts of people,
critics and writers, people who would help to praise his books. And
they were flattered at being asked to Wragby, and they praised.
Connie understood it all perfectly. But why not? This was one of
the fleeting patterns in the mirror. What was wrong with
it?She was hostess to these people...mostly men. She was hostess
also to Clifford's occasional aristocratic relations. Being a soft,
ruddy, country-looking girl, inclined to freckles, with big blue
eyes, and curling, brown hair, and a soft voice, and rather strong,
female loins she was considered a little old-fashioned and
'womanly'. She was not a 'little pilchard sort of fish', like a
boy, with a boy's flat breast and little buttocks. She was too
feminine to be quite smart.So the men, especially those no longer young, were very nice
to her indeed. But, knowing what torture poor Clifford would feel
at the slightest sign of flirting on her part, she gave them no
encouragement at all. She was quiet and vague, she had no contact
with them and intended to have none. Clifford was extraordinarily
proud of himself.His relatives treated her quite kindly. She knew that the
kindliness indicated a lack of fear, and that these people had no
respect for you unless you could frighten them a little. But again
she had no contact. She let them be kindly and disdainful, she let
them feel they had no need to draw their steel in readiness. She
had no real connexion with them.Time went on. Whatever happened, nothing happened, because
she was so beautifully out of contact. She and Clifford lived in
their ideas and his books. She entertained...there were always
people in the house. Time went on as the clock does, half past
eight instead of half past seven.
CHAPTER 3
Connie was aware, however, of a growing restlessness. Out of
her disconnexion, a restlessness was taking possession of her like
madness. It twitched her limbs when she didn't want to twitch them,
it jerked her spine when she didn't want to jerk upright but
preferred to rest comfortably. It thrilled inside her body, in her
womb, somewhere, till she felt she must jump into water and swim to
get away from it; a mad restlessness. It made her heart beat
violently for no reason. And she was getting thinner.It was just restlessness. She would rush off across the park,
abandon Clifford, and lie prone in the bracken. To get away from
the house...she must get away from the house and everybody. The
work was her one refuge, her sanctuary.But it was not really a refuge, a sanctuary, because she had
no connexion with it. It was only a place where she could get away
from the rest. She never really touched the spirit of the wood
itself...if it had any such nonsensical thing.Vaguely she knew herself that she was going to pieces in some
way. Vaguely she knew she was out of connexion: she had lost touch
with the substantial and vital world. Only Clifford and his books,
which did not exist...which had nothing in them! Void to void.
Vaguely she knew. But it was like beating her head against a
stone.Her father warned her again: 'Why don't you get yourself a
beau, Connie? Do you all the good in the world.'That winter Michaelis came for a few days. He was a young
Irishman who had already made a large fortune by his plays in
America. He had been taken up quite enthusiastically for a time by
smart society in London, for he wrote smart society plays. Then
gradually smart society realized that it had been made ridiculous
at the hands of a down-at-heel Dublin street-rat, and revulsion
came. Michaelis was the last word in what was caddish and
bounderish. He was discovered to be anti-English, and to the class
that made this discovery this was worse than the dirtiest crime. He
was cut dead, and his corpse thrown into the refuse
can.Nevertheless Michaelis had his apartment in Mayfair, and
walked down Bond Street the image of a gentleman, for you cannot
get even the best tailors to cut their low-down customers, when the
customers pay.Clifford was inviting the young man of thirty at an
inauspicious moment in that young man's career. Yet Clifford did
not hesitate. Michaelis had the ear of a few million people,
probably; and, being a hopeless outsider, he would no doubt be
grateful to be asked down to Wragby at this juncture, when the rest
of the smart world was cutting him. Being grateful, he would no
doubt do Clifford 'good' over there in America. Kudos! A man gets a
lot of kudos, whatever that may be, by being talked about in the
right way, especially 'over there'. Clifford was a coming man; and
it was remarkable what a sound publicity instinct he had. In the
end Michaelis did him most nobly in a play, and Clifford was a sort
of popular hero. Till the reaction, when he found he had been made
ridiculous.Connie wondered a little over Clifford's blind, imperious
instinct to become known: known, that is, to the vast amorphous
world he did not himself know, and of which he was uneasily afraid;
known as a writer, as a first-class modern writer. Connie was aware
from successful, old, hearty, bluffing Sir Malcolm, that artists
did advertise themselves, and exert themselves to put their goods
over. But her father used channels ready-made, used by all the
other R. A.s who sold their pictures. Whereas Clifford discovered
new channels of publicity, all kinds. He had all kinds of people at
Wragby, without exactly lowering himself. But, determined to build
himself a monument of a reputation quickly, he used any handy
rubble in the making.Michaelis arrived duly, in a very neat car, with a chauffeur
and a manservant. He was absolutely Bond Street! But at sight of
him something in Clifford's county soul recoiled. He wasn't
exactly... not exactly...in fact, he wasn't at all, well, what his
appearance intended to imply. To Clifford this was final and
enough. Yet he was very polite to the man; to the amazing success
in him. The bitch-goddess, as she is called, of Success, roamed,
snarling and protective, round the half-humble, half-defiant
Michaelis' heels, and intimidated Clifford completely: for he
wanted to prostitute himself to the bitch-goddess, Success also, if
only she would have him.Michaelis obviously wasn't an Englishman, in spite of all the
tailors, hatters, barbers, booters of the very best quarter of
London. No, no, he obviously wasn't an Englishman: the wrong sort
of flattish, pale face and bearing; and the wrong sort of
grievance. He had a grudge and a grievance: that was obvious to any
true-born English gentleman, who would scorn to let such a thing
appear blatant in his own demeanour. Poor Michaelis had been much
kicked, so that he had a slightly tail-between-the-legs look even
now. He had pushed his way by sheer instinct and sheerer effrontery
on to the stage and to the front of it, with his plays. He had
caught the public. And he had thought the kicking days were over.
Alas, they weren't... They never would be. For he, in a sense,
asked to be kicked. He pined to be where he didn't belong...among
the English upper classes. And how they enjoyed the various kicks
they got at him! And how he hated them!Nevertheless he travelled with his manservant and his very
neat car, this Dublin mongrel.There was something about him that Connie liked. He didn't
put on airs to himself, he had no illusions about himself. He
talked to Clifford sensibly, briefly, practically, about all the
things Clifford wanted to know. He didn't expand or let himself go.
He knew he had been asked down to Wragby to be made use of, and
like an old, shrewd, almost indifferent business man, or
big-business man, he let himself be asked questions, and he
answered with as little waste of feeling as possible.'Money!' he said. 'Money is a sort of instinct. It's a sort
of property of nature in a man to make money. It's nothing you do.
It's no trick you play. It's a sort of permanent accident of your
own nature; once you start, you make money, and you go on; up to a
point, I suppose.''But you've got to begin,' said Clifford.'Oh, quite! You've got to getin.You can do nothing if you are kept
outside. You've got to beat your way in. Once you've done that, you
can't help it.''But could you have made money except by plays?' asked
Clifford.'Oh, probably not! I may be a good writer or I may be a bad
one, but a writer and a writer of plays is what I am, and I've got
to be. There's no question of that.''And you think it's a writer of popular plays that you've got
to be?' asked Connie.'There, exactly!' he said, turning to her in a sudden flash.
'There's nothing in it! There's nothing in popularity. There's
nothing in the public, if it comes to that. There's nothing really
in my plays to make them popular. It's not that. They just are like
the weather...the sort that willhaveto be...for the time being.'He turned his slow, rather full eyes, that had been drowned
in such fathomless disillusion, on Connie, and she trembled a
little. He seemed so old...endlessly old, built up of layers of
disillusion, going down in him generation after generation, like
geological strata; and at the same time he was forlorn like a
child. An outcast, in a certain sense; but with the desperate
bravery of his rat-like existence.'At least it's wonderful what you've done at your time of
life,' said Clifford contemplatively.'I'm thirty...yes, I'm thirty!' said Michaelis, sharply and
suddenly, with a curious laugh; hollow, triumphant, and
bitter.'And are you alone?' asked Connie.'How do you mean? Do I live alone? I've got my servant. He's
a Greek, so he says, and quite incompetent. But I keep him. And I'm
going to marry. Oh, yes, I must marry.''It sounds like going to have your tonsils cut,' laughed
Connie. 'Will it be an effort?'He looked at her admiringly. 'Well, Lady Chatterley, somehow
it will! I find... excuse me... I find I can't marry an
Englishwoman, not even an Irishwoman...''Try an American,' said Clifford.'Oh, American!' He laughed a hollow laugh. 'No, I've asked my
man if he will find me a Turk or something...something nearer to
the Oriental.'Connie really wondered at this queer, melancholy specimen of
extraordinary success; it was said he had an income of fifty
thousand dollars from America alone. Sometimes he was handsome:
sometimes as he looked sideways, downwards, and the light fell on
him, he had the silent, enduring beauty of a carved ivory Negro
mask, with his rather full eyes, and the strong queerly-arched
brows, the immobile, compressed mouth; that momentary but revealed
immobility, an immobility, a timelessness which the Buddha aims at,
and which Negroes express sometimes without ever aiming at it;
something old, old, and acquiescent in the race! Aeons of
acquiescence in race destiny, instead of our individual resistance.
And then a swimming through, like rats in a dark river. Connie felt
a sudden, strange leap of sympathy for him, a leap mingled with
compassion, and tinged with repulsion, amounting almost to love.
The outsider! The outsider! And they called him a bounder! How much
more bounderish and assertive Clifford looked! How much
stupider!Michaelis knew at once he had made an impression on her. He
turned his full, hazel, slightly prominent eyes on her in a look of
pure detachment. He was estimating her, and the extent of the
impression he had made. With the English nothing could save him
from being the eternal outsider, not even love. Yet women sometimes
fell for him...Englishwomen too.He knew just where he was with Clifford. They were two alien
dogs which would have liked to snarl at one another, but which
smiled instead, perforce. But with the woman he was not quite so
sure.Breakfast was served in the bedrooms; Clifford never appeared
before lunch, and the dining-room was a little dreary. After coffee
Michaelis, restless and ill-sitting soul, wondered what he should
do. It was a fine November day ... fine for Wragby. He looked over
the melancholy park. My God! What a place!He sent a servant to ask, could he be of any service to Lady
Chatterley: he thought of driving into Sheffield. The answer came,
would he care to go up to Lady Chatterley's
sitting-room.Connie had a sitting-room on the third floor, the top floor
of the central portion of the house. Clifford's rooms were on the
ground floor, of course. Michaelis was flattered by being asked up
to Lady Chatterley's own parlour. He followed blindly after the
servant...he never noticed things, or had contact with his
surroundings. In her room he did glance vaguely round at the fine
German reproductions of Renoir and Cezanne.'It's very pleasant up here,' he said, with his queer smile,
as if it hurt him to smile, showing his teeth. 'You are wise to get
up to the top.''Yes, I think so,' she said.Her room was the only gay, modern one in the house, the only
spot in Wragby where her personality was at all revealed. Clifford
had never seen it, and she asked very few people up.Now she and Michaelis sit on opposite sides of the fire and
talked. She asked him about himself, his mother and father, his
brothers...other people were always something of a wonder to her,
and when her sympathy was awakened she was quite devoid of class
feeling. Michaelis talked frankly about himself, quite frankly,
without affectation, simply revealing his bitter, indifferent,
stray-dog's soul, then showing a gleam of revengeful pride in his
success.'But why are you such a lonely bird?' Connie asked him; and
again he looked at her, with his full, searching, hazel
look.'Some birdsarethat way,'
he replied. Then, with a touch of familiar irony: 'but, look here,
what about yourself? Aren't you by way of being a lonely bird
yourself?' Connie, a little startled, thought about it for a few
moments, and then she said: 'Only in a way! Not altogether, like
you!''Am I altogether a lonely bird?' he asked, with his queer
grin of a smile, as if he had toothache; it was so wry, and his
eyes were so perfectly unchangingly melancholy, or stoical, or
disillusioned or afraid.'Why?' she said, a little breathless, as she looked at him.
'You are, aren't you?'She felt a terrible appeal coming to her from him, that made
her almost lose her balance.'Oh, you're quite right!' he said, turning his head away, and
looking sideways, downwards, with that strange immobility of an old
race that is hardly here in our present day. It was that that
really made Connie lose her power to see him detached from
herself.He looked up at her with the full glance that saw everything,
registered everything. At the same time, the infant crying in the
night was crying out of his breast to her, in a way that affected
her very womb.'It's awfully nice of you to think of me,' he said
laconically.'Why shouldn't I think of you?' she exclaimed, with hardly
breath to utter it.He gave the wry, quick hiss of a laugh.'Oh, in that way!...May I hold your hand for a minute?' he
asked suddenly, fixing his eyes on her with almost hypnotic power,
and sending out an appeal that affected her direct in the
womb.She stared at him, dazed and transfixed, and he went over and
kneeled beside her, and took her two feet close in his two hands,
and buried his face in her lap, remaining motionless. She was
perfectly dim and dazed, looking down in a sort of amazement at the
rather tender nape of his neck, feeling his face pressing her
thighs. In all her burning dismay, she could not help putting her
hand, with tenderness and compassion, on the defenceless nape of
his neck, and he trembled, with a deep shudder.Then he looked up at her with that awful appeal in his full,
glowing eyes. She was utterly incapable of resisting it. From her
breast flowed the answering, immense yearning over him; she must
give him anything, anything.He was a curious and very gentle lover, very gentle with the
woman, trembling uncontrollably, and yet at the same time detached,
aware, aware of every sound outside.To her it meant nothing except that she gave herself to him.
And at length he ceased to quiver any more, and lay quite still,
quite still. Then, with dim, compassionate fingers, she stroked his
head, that lay on her breast.When he rose, he kissed both her hands, then both her feet,
in their suede slippers, and in silence went away to the end of the
room, where he stood with his back to her. There was silence for
some minutes. Then he turned and came to her again as she sat in
her old place by the fire.'And now, I suppose you'll hate me!' he said in a quiet,
inevitable way. She looked up at him quickly.'Why should I?' she asked.'They mostly do,' he said; then he caught himself up. 'I
mean...a woman is supposed to.''This is the last moment when I ought to hate you,' she said
resentfully.'I know! I know! It should be so! You'refrightfullygood to me...' he cried
miserably.She wondered why he should be miserable. 'Won't you sit down
again?' she said. He glanced at the door.'Sir Clifford!' he said, 'won't he...won't he be...?' She
paused a moment to consider. 'Perhaps!' she said. And she looked up
at him. 'I don't want Clifford to know not even to suspect.
Itwouldhurt him so much. But I
don't think it's wrong, do you?''Wrong! Good God, no! You're only too infinitely good to
me...I can hardly bear it.'He turned aside, and she saw that in another moment he would
be sobbing.'But we needn't let Clifford know, need we?' she pleaded. 'It
would hurt him so. And if he never knows, never suspects, it hurts
nobody.''Me!' he said, almost fiercely; 'he'll know nothing from me!
You see if he does. Me give myself away! Ha! Ha!' he laughed
hollowly, cynically, at such an idea. She watched him in wonder. He
said to her: 'May I kiss your hand and go? I'll run into Sheffield
I think, and lunch there, if I may, and be back to tea. May I do
anything for you? May I be sure you don't hate me?--and that you
won't?'--he ended with a desperate note of cynicism.'No, I don't hate you,' she said. 'I think you're
nice.''Ah!' he said to her fiercely, 'I'd rather you said that to
me than said you love me! It means such a lot more...Till afternoon
then. I've plenty to think about till then.' He kissed her hands
humbly and was gone.'I don't think I can stand that young man,' said Clifford at
lunch.'Why?' asked Connie.'He's such a bounder underneath his veneer...just waiting to
bounce us.''I think people have been so unkind to him,' said
Connie.'Do you wonder? And do you think he employs his shining hours
doing deeds of kindness?''I think he has a certain sort of generosity.''Towards whom?''I don't quite know.''Naturally you don't. I'm afraid you mistake unscrupulousness
for generosity.'Connie paused. Did she? It was just possible. Yet the
unscrupulousness of Michaelis had a certain fascination for her. He
went whole lengths where Clifford only crept a few timid paces. In
his way he had conquered the world, which was what Clifford wanted
to do. Ways and means...? Were those of Michaelis more despicable
than those of Clifford? Was the way the poor outsider had shoved
and bounced himself forward in person, and by the back doors, any
worse than Clifford's way of advertising himself into prominence?
The bitch-goddess, Success, was trailed by thousands of gasping
dogs with lolling tongues. The one that got her first was the real
dog among dogs, if you go by success! So Michaelis could keep his
tail up.The queer thing was, he didn't. He came back towards tea-time
with a large handful of violets and lilies, and the same hang-dog
expression. Connie wondered sometimes if it were a sort of mask to
disarm opposition, because it was almost too fixed. Was he really
such a sad dog?His sad-dog sort of extinguished self persisted all the
evening, though through it Clifford felt the inner effrontery.
Connie didn't feel it, perhaps because it was not directed against
women; only against men, and their presumptions and assumptions.
That indestructible, inward effrontery in the meagre fellow was
what made men so down on Michaelis. His very presence was an
affront to a man of society, cloak it as he might in an assumed
good manner.Connie was in love with him, but she managed to sit with her
embroidery and let the men talk, and not give herself away. As for
Michaelis, he was perfect; exactly the same melancholic, attentive,
aloof young fellow of the previous evening, millions of degrees
remote from his hosts, but laconically playing up to them to the
required amount, and never coming forth to them for a moment.
Connie felt he must have forgotten the morning. He had not
forgotten. But he knew where he was...in the same old place
outside, where the born outsiders are. He didn't take the
love-making altogether personally. He knew it would not change him
from an ownerless dog, whom everybody begrudges its golden collar,
into a comfortable society dog.The final fact being that at the very bottom of his soul
hewasan outsider, and
anti-social, and he accepted the fact inwardly, no matter how
Bond-Streety he was on the outside. His isolation was a necessity
to him; just as the appearance of conformity and mixing-in with the
smart people was also a necessity.But occasional love, as a comfort and soothing, was also a
good thing, and he was not ungrateful. On the contrary, he was
burningly, poignantly grateful for a piece of natural, spontaneous
kindness: almost to tears. Beneath his pale, immobile,
disillusioned face, his child's soul was sobbing with gratitude to
the woman, and burning to come to her again; just as his outcast
soul was knowing he would keep really clear of her.He found an opportunity to say to her, as they were lighting
the candles in the hall:'May I come?''I'll come to you,' she said.'Oh, good!'He waited for her a long time...but she came.He was the trembling excited sort of lover, whose crisis soon
came, and was finished. There was something curiously childlike and
defenceless about his naked body: as children are naked. His
defences were all in his wits and cunning, his very instincts of
cunning, and when these were in abeyance he seemed doubly naked and
like a child, of unfinished, tender flesh, and somehow struggling
helplessly.He roused in the woman a wild sort of compassion and
yearning, and a wild, craving physical desire. The physical desire
he did not satisfy in her; he was always come and finished so
quickly, then shrinking down on her breast, and recovering somewhat
his effrontery while she lay dazed, disappointed,
lost.But then she soon learnt to hold him, to keep him there
inside her when his crisis was over. And there he was generous and
curiously potent; he stayed firm inside her, giving to her, while
she was active...wildly, passionately active, coming to her own
crisis. And as he felt the frenzy of her achieving her own orgasmic
satisfaction from his hard, erect passivity, he had a curious sense
of pride and satisfaction.'Ah, how good!' she whispered tremulously, and she became
quite still, clinging to him. And he lay there in his own
isolation, but somehow proud.He stayed that time only the three days, and to Clifford was
exactly the same as on the first evening; to Connie also. There was
no breaking down his external man.He wrote to Connie with the same plaintive melancholy note as
ever, sometimes witty, and touched with a queer, sexless affection.
A kind of hopeless affection he seemed to feel for her, and the
essential remoteness remained the same. He was hopeless at the very
core of him, and he wanted to be hopeless. He rather hated
hope.'Une immense esprance a travers la
terre', he read somewhere, and his comment
was:'--and it's darned-well drowned everything worth
having.'Connie never really understood him, but, in her way, she
loved him. And all the time she felt the reflection of his
hopelessness in her. She couldn't quite, quite love in
hopelessness. And he, being hopeless, couldn't ever quite love at
all.So they went on for quite a time, writing, and meeting
occasionally in London. She still wanted the physical, sexual
thrill she could get with him by her own activity, his little
orgasm being over. And he still wanted to give it her. Which was
enough to keep them connected.And enough to give her a subtle sort of self-assurance,
something blind and a little arrogant. It was an almost mechanical
confidence in her own powers, and went with a great
cheerfulness.She was terrifically cheerful at Wragby. And she used all her
aroused cheerfulness and satisfaction to stimulate Clifford, so
that he wrote his best at this time, and was almost happy in his
strange blind way. He really reaped the fruits of the sensual
satisfaction she got out of Michaelis' male passivity erect inside
her. But of course he never knew it, and if he had, he wouldn't
have said thank you!Yet when those days of her grand joyful cheerfulness and
stimulus were gone, quite gone, and she was depressed and
irritable, how Clifford longed for them again! Perhaps if he'd
known he might even have wished to get her and Michaelis together
again.
CHAPTER 4
Connie always had a foreboding of the hopelessness of her
affair with Mick, as people called him. Yet other men seemed to
mean nothing to her. She was attached to Clifford. He wanted a good
deal of her life and she gave it to him. But she wanted a good deal
from the life of a man, and this Clifford did not give her; could
not. There were occasional spasms of Michaelis. But, as she knew by
foreboding, that would come to an end. Mickcouldn'tkeep anything up. It was part
of his very being that he must break off any connexion, and be
loose, isolated, absolutely lone dog again. It was his major
necessity, even though he always said: She turned me
down!The world is supposed to be full of possibilities, but they
narrow down to pretty few in most personal experience. There's lots
of good fish in the sea...maybe...but the vast masses seem to be
mackerel or herring, and if you're not mackerel or herring yourself
you are likely to find very few good fish in the sea.Clifford was making strides into fame, and even money. People
came to see him. Connie nearly always had somebody at Wragby. But
if they weren't mackerel they were herring, with an occasional
cat-fish, or conger-eel.There were a few regular men, constants; men who had been at
Cambridge with Clifford. There was Tommy Dukes, who had remained in
the army, and was a Brigadier-General. 'The army leaves me time to
think, and saves me from having to face the battle of life,' he
said.There was Charles May, an Irishman, who wrote scientifically
about stars. There was Hammond, another writer. All were about the
same age as Clifford; the young intellectuals of the day. They all
believed in the life of the mind. What you did apart from that was
your private affair, and didn't much matter. No one thinks of
inquiring of another person at what hour he retires to the privy.
It isn't interesting to anyone but the person
concerned.And so with most of the matters of ordinary life...how you
make your money, or whether you love your wife, or if you have
'affairs'. All these matters concern only the person concerned,
and, like going to the privy, have no interest for anyone
else.'The whole point about the sexual problem,' said Hammond, who
was a tall thin fellow with a wife and two children, but much more
closely connected with a typewriter, 'is that there is no point to
it. Strictly there is no problem. We don't want to follow a man
into the w.c., so why should we want to follow him into bed with a
woman? And therein lies the problem. If we took no more notice of
the one thing than the other, there'd be no problem. It's all
utterly senseless and pointless; a matter of misplaced
curiosity.''Quite, Hammond, quite! But if someone starts making love to
Julia, you begin to simmer; and if he goes on, you are soon at
boiling point.'...Julia was Hammond's wife.'Why, exactly! So I should be if he began to urinate in a
corner of my drawing-room. There's a place for all these
things.'