Sons and Lovers
Sons and Lovers PART ONECHAPTER ICHAPTER IICHAPTER IIICHAPTER IVCHAPTER VCHAPTER VIPART TWOCHAPTER VIICHAPTER VIIICHAPTER IXCHAPTER XCHAPTER XICHAPTER XIICHAPTER XIIICHAPTER XIVCHAPTER XVCopyright
Sons and Lovers
D. H. Lawrence
PART ONE
CHAPTER I
THE EARLY MARRIED LIFE OF THE
MORELS
“THE BOTTOMS” succeeded to “Hell Row”. Hell Row was a block
of thatched, bulging cottages that stood by the brookside on
Greenhill Lane. There lived the colliers who worked in the little
gin-pits two fields away. The brook ran under the alder trees,
scarcely soiled by these small mines, whose coal was drawn to the
surface by donkeys that plodded wearily in a circle round a gin.
And all over the countryside were these same pits, some of which
had been worked in the time of Charles II, the few colliers and the
donkeys burrowing down like ants into the earth, making queer
mounds and little black places among the corn-fields and the
meadows. And the cottages of these coal-miners, in blocks and pairs
here and there, together with odd farms and homes of the
stockingers, straying over the parish, formed the village of
Bestwood.Then, some sixty years ago, a sudden change took place,
gin-pits were elbowed aside by the large mines of the financiers.
The coal and iron field of Nottinghamshire and Derbyshire was
discovered. Carston, Waite and Co. appeared. Amid tremendous
excitement, Lord Palmerston formally opened the company’s first
mine at Spinney Park, on the edge of Sherwood Forest.About this time the notorious Hell Row, which through growing
old had acquired an evil reputation, was burned down, and much dirt
was cleansed away.Carston, Waite & Co. found they had struck on a good
thing, so, down the valleys of the brooks from Selby and Nuttall,
new mines were sunk, until soon there were six pits working. From
Nuttall, high up on the sandstone among the woods, the railway ran,
past the ruined priory of the Carthusians and past Robin Hood’s
Well, down to Spinney Park, then on to Minton, a large mine among
corn-fields; from Minton across the farmlands of the valleyside to
Bunker’s Hill, branching off there, and running north to Beggarlee
and Selby, that looks over at Crich and the hills of Derbyshire:
six mines like black studs on the countryside, linked by a loop of
fine chain, the railway.To accommodate the regiments of miners, Carston, Waite and
Co. built the Squares, great quadrangles of dwellings on the
hillside of Bestwood, and then, in the brook valley, on the site of
Hell Row, they erected the Bottoms.The Bottoms consisted of six blocks of miners’ dwellings, two
rows of three, like the dots on a blank-six domino, and twelve
houses in a block. This double row of dwellings sat at the foot of
the rather sharp slope from Bestwood, and looked out, from the
attic windows at least, on the slow climb of the valley towards
Selby.The houses themselves were substantial and very decent. One
could walk all round, seeing little front gardens with auriculas
and saxifrage in the shadow of the bottom block, sweet-williams and
pinks in the sunny top block; seeing neat front windows, little
porches, little privet hedges, and dormer windows for the attics.
But that was outside; that was the view on to the uninhabited
parlours of all the colliers’ wives. The dwelling-room, the
kitchen, was at the back of the house, facing inward between the
blocks, looking at a scrubby back garden, and then at the ash-pits.
And between the rows, between the long lines of ash-pits, went the
alley, where the children played and the women gossiped and the men
smoked. So, the actual conditions of living in the Bottoms, that
was so well built and that looked so nice, were quite unsavoury
because people must live in the kitchen, and the kitchens opened on
to that nasty alley of ash-pits.Mrs. Morel was not anxious to move into the Bottoms, which
was already twelve years old and on the downward path, when she
descended to it from Bestwood. But it was the best she could do.
Moreover, she had an end house in one of the top blocks, and thus
had only one neighbour; on the other side an extra strip of garden.
And, having an end house, she enjoyed a kind of aristocracy among
the other women of the “between” houses, because her rent was five
shillings and sixpence instead of five shillings a week. But this
superiority in station was not much consolation to Mrs.
Morel.She was thirty-one years old, and had been married eight
years. A rather small woman, of delicate mould but resolute
bearing, she shrank a little from the first contact with the
Bottoms women. She came down in the July, and in the September
expected her third baby.Her husband was a miner. They had only been in their new home
three weeks when the wakes, or fair, began. Morel, she knew, was
sure to make a holiday of it. He went off early on the Monday
morning, the day of the fair. The two children were highly excited.
William, a boy of seven, fled off immediately after breakfast, to
prowl round the wakes ground, leaving Annie, who was only five, to
whine all morning to go also. Mrs. Morel did her work. She scarcely
knew her neighbours yet, and knew no one with whom to trust the
little girl. So she promised to take her to the wakes after
dinner.William appeared at half-past twelve. He was a very active
lad, fair-haired, freckled, with a touch of the Dane or Norwegian
about him.
“Can I have my dinner, mother?” he cried, rushing in with his
cap on. “‘Cause it begins at half-past one, the man says
so.”
“You can have your dinner as soon as it’s done,” replied the
mother.
“Isn’t it done?” he cried, his blue eyes staring at her in
indignation. “Then I’m goin’ be-out it.”
“You’ll do nothing of the sort. It will be done in five
minutes. It is only half-past twelve.”
“They’ll be beginnin’,” the boy half cried, half
shouted.
“You won’t die if they do,” said the mother. “Besides, it’s
only half-past twelve, so you’ve a full hour.”The lad began hastily to lay the table, and directly the
three sat down. They were eating batter-pudding and jam, when the
boy jumped off his chair and stood perfectly stiff. Some distance
away could be heard the first small braying of a merry-go-round,
and the tooting of a horn. His face quivered as he looked at his
mother.
“I told you!” he said, running to the dresser for his
cap.
“Take your pudding in your hand—and it’s only five past one,
so you were wrong—you haven’t got your twopence,” cried the mother
in a breath.The boy came back, bitterly disappointed, for his twopence,
then went off without a word.
“I want to go, I want to go,” said Annie, beginning to
cry.
“Well, and you shall go, whining, wizzening little stick!”
said the mother. And later in the afternoon she trudged up the hill
under the tall hedge with her child. The hay was gathered from the
fields, and cattle were turned on to the eddish. It was warm,
peaceful.Mrs. Morel did not like the wakes. There were two sets of
horses, one going by steam, one pulled round by a pony; three
organs were grinding, and there came odd cracks of pistol-shots,
fearful screeching of the cocoanut man’s rattle, shouts of the Aunt
Sally man, screeches from the peep-show lady. The mother perceived
her son gazing enraptured outside the Lion Wallace booth, at the
pictures of this famous lion that had killed a negro and maimed for
life two white men. She left him alone, and went to get Annie a
spin of toffee. Presently the lad stood in front of her, wildly
excited.
“You never said you was coming—isn’t the’ a lot of
things?—that lion’s killed three men—I’ve spent my tuppence—an’
look here.”He pulled from his pocket two egg-cups, with pink moss-roses
on them.
“I got these from that stall where y’ave ter get them marbles
in them holes. An’ I got these two in two goes-’aepenny a
go-they’ve got moss-roses on, look here. I wanted
these.”She knew he wanted them for her.
“H’m!” she said, pleased. “They ARE pretty!”
“Shall you carry ‘em, ‘cause I’m frightened o’ breakin’
‘em?”He was tipful of excitement now she had come, led her about
the ground, showed her everything. Then, at the peep-show, she
explained the pictures, in a sort of story, to which he listened as
if spellbound. He would not leave her. All the time he stuck close
to her, bristling with a small boy’s pride of her. For no other
woman looked such a lady as she did, in her little black bonnet and
her cloak. She smiled when she saw women she knew. When she was
tired she said to her son:
“Well, are you coming now, or later?”
“Are you goin’ a’ready?” he cried, his face full of
reproach.
“Already? It is past four, I know.”
“What are you goin’ a’ready for?” he lamented.
“You needn’t come if you don’t want,” she said.And she went slowly away with her little girl, whilst her son
stood watching her, cut to the heart to let her go, and yet unable
to leave the wakes. As she crossed the open ground in front of the
Moon and Stars she heard men shouting, and smelled the beer, and
hurried a little, thinking her husband was probably in the
bar.At about half-past six her son came home, tired now, rather
pale, and somewhat wretched. He was miserable, though he did not
know it, because he had let her go alone. Since she had gone, he
had not enjoyed his wakes.
“Has my dad been?” he asked.
“No,” said the mother.
“He’s helping to wait at the Moon and Stars. I seed him
through that black tin stuff wi’ holes in, on the window, wi’ his
sleeves rolled up.”
“Ha!” exclaimed the mother shortly. “He’s got no money. An’
he’ll be satisfied if he gets his ‘lowance, whether they give him
more or not.”When the light was fading, and Mrs. Morel could see no more
to sew, she rose and went to the door. Everywhere was the sound of
excitement, the restlessness of the holiday, that at last infected
her. She went out into the side garden. Women were coming home from
the wakes, the children hugging a white lamb with green legs, or a
wooden horse. Occasionally a man lurched past, almost as full as he
could carry. Sometimes a good husband came along with his family,
peacefully. But usually the women and children were alone. The
stay-at-home mothers stood gossiping at the corners of the alley,
as the twilight sank, folding their arms under their white
aprons.Mrs. Morel was alone, but she was used to it. Her son and her
little girl slept upstairs; so, it seemed, her home was there
behind her, fixed and stable. But she felt wretched with the coming
child. The world seemed a dreary place, where nothing else would
happen for her—at least until William grew up. But for herself,
nothing but this dreary endurance—till the children grew up. And
the children! She could not afford to have this third. She did not
want it. The father was serving beer in a public house, swilling
himself drunk. She despised him, and was tied to him. This coming
child was too much for her. If it were not for William and Annie,
she was sick of it, the struggle with poverty and ugliness and
meanness.She went into the front garden, feeling too heavy to take
herself out, yet unable to stay indoors. The heat suffocated her.
And looking ahead, the prospect of her life made her feel as if she
were buried alive.The front garden was a small square with a privet hedge.
There she stood, trying to soothe herself with the scent of flowers
and the fading, beautiful evening. Opposite her small gate was the
stile that led uphill, under the tall hedge between the burning
glow of the cut pastures. The sky overhead throbbed and pulsed with
light. The glow sank quickly off the field; the earth and the
hedges smoked dusk. As it grew dark, a ruddy glare came out on the
hilltop, and out of the glare the diminished commotion of the
fair.Sometimes, down the trough of darkness formed by the path
under the hedges, men came lurching home. One young man lapsed into
a run down the steep bit that ended the hill, and went with a crash
into the stile. Mrs. Morel shuddered. He picked himself up,
swearing viciously, rather pathetically, as if he thought the stile
had wanted to hurt him.She went indoors, wondering if things were never going to
alter. She was beginning by now to realise that they would not. She
seemed so far away from her girlhood, she wondered if it were the
same person walking heavily up the back garden at the Bottoms as
had run so lightly up the breakwater at Sheerness ten years
before.
“What have I to do with it?” she said to herself. “What have
I to do with all this? Even the child I am going to have! It
doesn’t seem as if I were taken into account.”Sometimes life takes hold of one, carries the body along,
accomplishes one’s history, and yet is not real, but leaves oneself
as it were slurred over.
“I wait,” Mrs. Morel said to herself—“I wait, and what I wait
for can never come.”Then she straightened the kitchen, lit the lamp, mended the
fire, looked out the washing for the next day, and put it to soak.
After which she sat down to her sewing. Through the long hours her
needle flashed regularly through the stuff. Occasionally she
sighed, moving to relieve herself. And all the time she was
thinking how to make the most of what she had, for the children’s
sakes.At half-past eleven her husband came. His cheeks were very
red and very shiny above his black moustache. His head nodded
slightly. He was pleased with himself.
“Oh! Oh! waitin’ for me, lass? I’ve bin ‘elpin’ Anthony, an’
what’s think he’s gen me? Nowt b’r a lousy hae’f-crown, an’ that’s
ivry penny—”
“He thinks you’ve made the rest up in beer,” she said
shortly.
“An’ I ‘aven’t—that I ‘aven’t. You b’lieve me, I’ve ‘ad very
little this day, I have an’ all.” His voice went tender. “Here, an’
I browt thee a bit o’ brandysnap, an’ a cocoanut for th’ children.”
He laid the gingerbread and the cocoanut, a hairy object, on the
table. “Nay, tha niver said thankyer for nowt i’ thy life, did
ter?”As a compromise, she picked up the cocoanut and shook it, to
see if it had any milk.
“It’s a good ‘un, you may back yer life o’ that. I got it
fra’ Bill Hodgkisson. ‘Bill,’ I says, ‘tha non wants them three
nuts, does ter? Arena ter for gi’ein’ me one for my bit of a lad
an’ wench?’ ‘I ham, Walter, my lad,’ ‘e says; ‘ta’e which on ‘em
ter’s a mind.’ An’ so I took one, an’ thanked ‘im. I didn’t like
ter shake it afore ‘is eyes, but ‘e says, ‘Tha’d better ma’e sure
it’s a good un, Walt.’ An’ so, yer see, I knowed it was. He’s a
nice chap, is Bill Hodgkisson, e’s a nice chap!”
“A man will part with anything so long as he’s drunk, and
you’re drunk along with him,” said Mrs. Morel.
“Eh, tha mucky little ‘ussy, who’s drunk, I sh’d like ter
know?” said Morel. He was extraordinarily pleased with himself,
because of his day’s helping to wait in the Moon and Stars. He
chattered on.Mrs. Morel, very tired, and sick of his babble, went to bed
as quickly as possible, while he raked the fire.Mrs. Morel came of a good old burgher family, famous
independents who had fought with Colonel Hutchinson, and who
remained stout Congregationalists. Her grandfather had gone
bankrupt in the lace-market at a time when so many
lace-manufacturers were ruined in Nottingham. Her father, George
Coppard, was an engineer—a large, handsome, haughty man, proud of
his fair skin and blue eyes, but more proud still of his integrity.
Gertrude resembled her mother in her small build. But her temper,
proud and unyielding, she had from the Coppards.George Coppard was bitterly galled by his own poverty. He
became foreman of the engineers in the dockyard at Sheerness. Mrs.
Morel—Gertrude—was the second daughter. She favoured her mother,
loved her mother best of all; but she had the Coppards’ clear,
defiant blue eyes and their broad brow. She remembered to have
hated her father’s overbearing manner towards her gentle, humorous,
kindly-souled mother. She remembered running over the breakwater at
Sheerness and finding the boat. She remembered to have been petted
and flattered by all the men when she had gone to the dockyard, for
she was a delicate, rather proud child. She remembered the funny
old mistress, whose assistant she had become, whom she had loved to
help in the private school. And she still had the Bible that John
Field had given her. She used to walk home from chapel with John
Field when she was nineteen. He was the son of a well-to-do
tradesman, had been to college in London, and was to devote himself
to business.She could always recall in detail a September Sunday
afternoon, when they had sat under the vine at the back of her
father’s house. The sun came through the chinks of the vine-leaves
and made beautiful patterns, like a lace scarf, falling on her and
on him. Some of the leaves were clean yellow, like yellow flat
flowers.
“Now sit still,” he had cried. “Now your hair, I don’t know
what it IS like! It’s as bright as copper and gold, as red as burnt
copper, and it has gold threads where the sun shines on it. Fancy
their saying it’s brown. Your mother calls it
mouse-colour.”She had met his brilliant eyes, but her clear face scarcely
showed the elation which rose within her.
“But you say you don’t like business,” she
pursued.
“I don’t. I hate it!” he cried hotly.
“And you would like to go into the ministry,” she half
implored.
“I should. I should love it, if I thought I could make a
first-rate preacher.”
“Then why don’t you—why DON’T you?” Her voice rang with
defiance. “If I were a man, nothing would stop me.”She held her head erect. He was rather timid before
her.
“But my father’s so stiff-necked. He means to put me into the
business, and I know he’ll do it.”
“But if you’re a MAN?” she had cried.
“Being a man isn’t everything,” he replied, frowning with
puzzled helplessness.Now, as she moved about her work at the Bottoms, with some
experience of what being a man meant, she knew that it was NOT
everything.At twenty, owing to her health, she had left Sheerness. Her
father had retired home to Nottingham. John Field’s father had been
ruined; the son had gone as a teacher in Norwood. She did not hear
of him until, two years later, she made determined inquiry. He had
married his landlady, a woman of forty, a widow with
property.And still Mrs. Morel preserved John Field’s Bible. She did
not now believe him to be—Well, she understood pretty well what he
might or might not have been. So she preserved his Bible, and kept
his memory intact in her heart, for her own sake. To her dying day,
for thirty-five years, she did not speak of him.When she was twenty-three years old, she met, at a Christmas
party, a young man from the Erewash Valley. Morel was then
twenty-seven years old. He was well set-up, erect, and very smart.
He had wavy black hair that shone again, and a vigorous black beard
that had never been shaved. His cheeks were ruddy, and his red,
moist mouth was noticeable because he laughed so often and so
heartily. He had that rare thing, a rich, ringing laugh. Gertrude
Coppard had watched him, fascinated. He was so full of colour and
animation, his voice ran so easily into comic grotesque, he was so
ready and so pleasant with everybody. Her own father had a rich
fund of humour, but it was satiric. This man’s was different: soft,
non-intellectual, warm, a kind of gambolling.She herself was opposite. She had a curious, receptive mind
which found much pleasure and amusement in listening to other folk.
She was clever in leading folk to talk. She loved ideas, and was
considered very intellectual. What she liked most of all was an
argument on religion or philosophy or politics with some educated
man. This she did not often enjoy. So she always had people tell
her about themselves, finding her pleasure so.In her person she was rather small and delicate, with a large
brow, and dropping bunches of brown silk curls. Her blue eyes were
very straight, honest, and searching. She had the beautiful hands
of the Coppards. Her dress was always subdued. She wore dark blue
silk, with a peculiar silver chain of silver scallops. This, and a
heavy brooch of twisted gold, was her only ornament. She was still
perfectly intact, deeply religious, and full of beautiful
candour.Walter Morel seemed melted away before her. She was to the
miner that thing of mystery and fascination, a lady. When she spoke
to him, it was with a southern pronunciation and a purity of
English which thrilled him to hear. She watched him. He danced
well, as if it were natural and joyous in him to dance. His
grandfather was a French refugee who had married an English
barmaid—if it had been a marriage. Gertrude Coppard watched the
young miner as he danced, a certain subtle exultation like glamour
in his movement, and his face the flower of his body, ruddy, with
tumbled black hair, and laughing alike whatever partner he bowed
above. She thought him rather wonderful, never having met anyone
like him. Her father was to her the type of all men. And George
Coppard, proud in his bearing, handsome, and rather bitter; who
preferred theology in reading, and who drew near in sympathy only
to one man, the Apostle Paul; who was harsh in government, and in
familiarity ironic; who ignored all sensuous pleasure:—he was very
different from the miner. Gertrude herself was rather contemptuous
of dancing; she had not the slightest inclination towards that
accomplishment, and had never learned even a Roger de Coverley. She
was puritan, like her father, high-minded, and really stern.
Therefore the dusky, golden softness of this man’s sensuous flame
of life, that flowed off his flesh like the flame from a candle,
not baffled and gripped into incandescence by thought and spirit as
her life was, seemed to her something wonderful, beyond
her.He came and bowed above her. A warmth radiated through her as
if she had drunk wine.
“Now do come and have this one wi’ me,” he said caressively.
“It’s easy, you know. I’m pining to see you dance.”She had told him before she could not dance. She glanced at
his humility and smiled. Her smile was very beautiful. It moved the
man so that he forgot everything.
“No, I won’t dance,” she said softly. Her words came clean
and ringing.Not knowing what he was doing—he often did the right thing by
instinct—he sat beside her, inclining reverentially.
“But you mustn’t miss your dance,” she reproved.
“Nay, I don’t want to dance that—it’s not one as I care
about.”
“Yet you invited me to it.”He laughed very heartily at this.
“I never thought o’ that. Tha’rt not long in taking the curl
out of me.”It was her turn to laugh quickly.
“You don’t look as if you’d come much uncurled,” she
said.
“I’m like a pig’s tail, I curl because I canna help it,” he
laughed, rather boisterously.
“And you are a miner!” she exclaimed in
surprise.
“Yes. I went down when I was ten.”She looked at him in wondering dismay.
“When you were ten! And wasn’t it very hard?” she
asked.
“You soon get used to it. You live like th’ mice, an’ you pop
out at night to see what’s going on.”
“It makes me feel blind,” she frowned.
“Like a moudiwarp!” he laughed. “Yi, an’ there’s some chaps
as does go round like moudiwarps.” He thrust his face forward in
the blind, snout-like way of a mole, seeming to sniff and peer for
direction. “They dun though!” he protested naively. “Tha niver seed
such a way they get in. But tha mun let me ta’e thee down some
time, an’ tha can see for thysen.”She looked at him, startled. This was a new tract of life
suddenly opened before her. She realised the life of the miners,
hundreds of them toiling below earth and coming up at evening. He
seemed to her noble. He risked his life daily, and with gaiety. She
looked at him, with a touch of appeal in her pure
humility.
“Shouldn’t ter like it?” he asked tenderly. “‘Appen not, it
‘ud dirty thee.”She had never been “thee’d” and “thou’d” before.The next Christmas they were married, and for three months
she was perfectly happy: for six months she was very
happy.He had signed the pledge, and wore the blue ribbon of a
tee-totaller: he was nothing if not showy. They lived, she thought,
in his own house. It was small, but convenient enough, and quite
nicely furnished, with solid, worthy stuff that suited her honest
soul. The women, her neighbours, were rather foreign to her, and
Morel’s mother and sisters were apt to sneer at her ladylike ways.
But she could perfectly well live by herself, so long as she had
her husband close.Sometimes, when she herself wearied of love-talk, she tried
to open her heart seriously to him. She saw him listen
deferentially, but without understanding. This killed her efforts
at a finer intimacy, and she had flashes of fear. Sometimes he was
restless of an evening: it was not enough for him just to be near
her, she realised. She was glad when he set himself to little
jobs.He was a remarkably handy man—could make or mend anything. So
she would say:
“I do like that coal-rake of your mother’s—it is small and
natty.”
“Does ter, my wench? Well, I made that, so I can make thee
one!”
“What! why, it’s a steel one!”
“An’ what if it is! Tha s’lt ha’e one very similar, if not
exactly same.”She did not mind the mess, nor the hammering and noise. He
was busy and happy.But in the seventh month, when she was brushing his Sunday
coat, she felt papers in the breast pocket, and, seized with a
sudden curiosity, took them out to read. He very rarely wore the
frock-coat he was married in: and it had not occurred to her before
to feel curious concerning the papers. They were the bills of the
household furniture, still unpaid.
“Look here,” she said at night, after he was washed and had
had his dinner. “I found these in the pocket of your wedding-coat.
Haven’t you settled the bills yet?”
“No. I haven’t had a chance.”
“But you told me all was paid. I had better go into
Nottingham on Saturday and settle them. I don’t like sitting on
another man’s chairs and eating from an unpaid table.”He did not answer.
“I can have your bank-book, can’t I?”
“Tha can ha’e it, for what good it’ll be to
thee.”
“I thought—” she began. He had told her he had a good bit of
money left over. But she realised it was no use asking questions.
She sat rigid with bitterness and indignation.The next day she went down to see his mother.
“Didn’t you buy the furniture for Walter?” she
asked.
“Yes, I did,” tartly retorted the elder woman.
“And how much did he give you to pay for it?”The elder woman was stung with fine indignation.
“Eighty pound, if you’re so keen on knowin’,” she
replied.
“Eighty pounds! But there are forty-two pounds still
owing!”
“I can’t help that.”
“But where has it all gone?”
“You’ll find all the papers, I think, if you look—beside ten
pound as he owed me, an’ six pound as the wedding cost down
here.”
“Six pounds!” echoed Gertrude Morel. It seemed to her
monstrous that, after her own father had paid so heavily for her
wedding, six pounds more should have been squandered in eating and
drinking at Walter’s parents’ house, at his expense.
“And how much has he sunk in his houses?” she
asked.
“His houses—which houses?”Gertrude Morel went white to the lips. He had told her the
house he lived in, and the next one, was his own.
“I thought the house we live in—” she began.
“They’re my houses, those two,” said the mother-in-law. “And
not clear either. It’s as much as I can do to keep the mortgage
interest paid.”Gertrude sat white and silent. She was her father
now.
“Then we ought to be paying you rent,” she said
coldly.
“Walter is paying me rent,” replied the mother.
“And what rent?” asked Gertrude.
“Six and six a week,” retorted the mother.It was more than the house was worth. Gertrude held her head
erect, looked straight before her.
“It is lucky to be you,” said the elder woman, bitingly, “to
have a husband as takes all the worry of the money, and leaves you
a free hand.”The young wife was silent.She said very little to her husband, but her manner had
changed towards him. Something in her proud, honourable soul had
crystallised out hard as rock.When October came in, she thought only of Christmas. Two
years ago, at Christmas, she had met him. Last Christmas she had
married him. This Christmas she would bear him a
child.
“You don’t dance yourself, do you, missis?” asked her nearest
neighbour, in October, when there was great talk of opening a
dancing-class over the Brick and Tile Inn at Bestwood.
“No—I never had the least inclination to,” Mrs. Morel
replied.
“Fancy! An’ how funny as you should ha’ married your Mester.
You know he’s quite a famous one for dancing.”
“I didn’t know he was famous,” laughed Mrs.
Morel.
“Yea, he is though! Why, he ran that dancing-class in the
Miners’ Arms club-room for over five year.”
“Did he?”
“Yes, he did.” The other woman was defiant. “An’ it was
thronged every Tuesday, and Thursday, an’ Sat’day—an’ there WAS
carryin’s-on, accordin’ to all accounts.”This kind of thing was gall and bitterness to Mrs. Morel, and
she had a fair share of it. The women did not spare her, at first;
for she was superior, though she could not help it.He began to be rather late in coming home.
“They’re working very late now, aren’t they?” she said to her
washer-woman.
“No later than they allers do, I don’t think. But they stop
to have their pint at Ellen’s, an’ they get talkin’, an’ there you
are! Dinner stone cold—an’ it serves ‘em right.”
“But Mr. Morel does not take any drink.”The woman dropped the clothes, looked at Mrs. Morel, then
went on with her work, saying nothing.Gertrude Morel was very ill when the boy was born. Morel was
good to her, as good as gold. But she felt very lonely, miles away
from her own people. She felt lonely with him now, and his presence
only made it more intense.The boy was small and frail at first, but he came on quickly.
He was a beautiful child, with dark gold ringlets, and dark-blue
eyes which changed gradually to a clear grey. His mother loved him
passionately. He came just when her own bitterness of disillusion
was hardest to bear; when her faith in life was shaken, and her
soul felt dreary and lonely. She made much of the child, and the
father was jealous.At last Mrs. Morel despised her husband. She turned to the
child; she turned from the father. He had begun to neglect her; the
novelty of his own home was gone. He had no grit, she said bitterly
to herself. What he felt just at the minute, that was all to him.
He could not abide by anything. There was nothing at the back of
all his show.There began a battle between the husband and wife—a fearful,
bloody battle that ended only with the death of one. She fought to
make him undertake his own responsibilities, to make him fulfill
his obligations. But he was too different from her. His nature was
purely sensuous, and she strove to make him moral, religious. She
tried to force him to face things. He could not endure it—it drove
him out of his mind.While the baby was still tiny, the father’s temper had become
so irritable that it was not to be trusted. The child had only to
give a little trouble when the man began to bully. A little more,
and the hard hands of the collier hit the baby. Then Mrs. Morel
loathed her husband, loathed him for days; and he went out and
drank; and she cared very little what he did. Only, on his return,
she scathed him with her satire.The estrangement between them caused him, knowingly or
unknowingly, grossly to offend her where he would not have
done.William was only one year old, and his mother was proud of
him, he was so pretty. She was not well off now, but her sisters
kept the boy in clothes. Then, with his little white hat curled
with an ostrich feather, and his white coat, he was a joy to her,
the twining wisps of hair clustering round his head. Mrs. Morel lay
listening, one Sunday morning, to the chatter of the father and
child downstairs. Then she dozed off. When she came downstairs, a
great fire glowed in the grate, the room was hot, the breakfast was
roughly laid, and seated in his armchair, against the
chimney-piece, sat Morel, rather timid; and standing between his
legs, the child—cropped like a sheep, with such an odd round
poll—looking wondering at her; and on a newspaper spread out upon
the hearthrug, a myriad of crescent-shaped curls, like the petals
of a marigold scattered in the reddening firelight.Mrs. Morel stood still. It was her first baby. She went very
white, and was unable to speak.
“What dost think o’ ‘im?” Morel laughed
uneasily.She gripped her two fists, lifted them, and came forward.
Morel shrank back.
“I could kill you, I could!” she said. She choked with rage,
her two fists uplifted.
“Yer non want ter make a wench on ‘im,” Morel said, in a
frightened tone, bending his head to shield his eyes from hers. His
attempt at laughter had vanished.The mother looked down at the jagged, close-clipped head of
her child. She put her hands on his hair, and stroked and fondled
his head.
“Oh—my boy!” she faltered. Her lip trembled, her face broke,
and, snatching up the child, she buried her face in his shoulder
and cried painfully. She was one of those women who cannot cry;
whom it hurts as it hurts a man. It was like ripping something out
of her, her sobbing.Morel sat with his elbows on his knees, his hands gripped
together till the knuckles were white. He gazed in the fire,
feeling almost stunned, as if he could not breathe.Presently she came to an end, soothed the child and cleared
away the breakfast-table. She left the newspaper, littered with
curls, spread upon the hearthrug. At last her husband gathered it
up and put it at the back of the fire. She went about her work with
closed mouth and very quiet. Morel was subdued. He crept about
wretchedly, and his meals were a misery that day. She spoke to him
civilly, and never alluded to what he had done. But he felt
something final had happened.Afterwards she said she had been silly, that the boy’s hair
would have had to be cut, sooner or later. In the end, she even
brought herself to say to her husband it was just as well he had
played barber when he did. But she knew, and Morel knew, that that
act had caused something momentous to take place in her soul. She
remembered the scene all her life, as one in which she had suffered
the most intensely.This act of masculine clumsiness was the spear through the
side of her love for Morel. Before, while she had striven against
him bitterly, she had fretted after him, as if he had gone astray
from her. Now she ceased to fret for his love: he was an outsider
to her. This made life much more bearable.Nevertheless, she still continued to strive with him. She
still had her high moral sense, inherited from generations of
Puritans. It was now a religious instinct, and she was almost a
fanatic with him, because she loved him, or had loved him. If he
sinned, she tortured him. If he drank, and lied, was often a
poltroon, sometimes a knave, she wielded the lash
unmercifully.The pity was, she was too much his opposite. She could not be
content with the little he might be; she would have him the much
that he ought to be. So, in seeking to make him nobler than he
could be, she destroyed him. She injured and hurt and scarred
herself, but she lost none of her worth. She also had the
children.He drank rather heavily, though not more than many miners,
and always beer, so that whilst his health was affected, it was
never injured. The week-end was his chief carouse. He sat in the
Miners’ Arms until turning-out time every Friday, every Saturday,
and every Sunday evening. On Monday and Tuesday he had to get up
and reluctantly leave towards ten o’clock. Sometimes he stayed at
home on Wednesday and Thursday evenings, or was only out for an
hour. He practically never had to miss work owing to his
drinking.But although he was very steady at work, his wages fell off.
He was blab-mouthed, a tongue-wagger. Authority was hateful to him,
therefore he could only abuse the pit-managers. He would say, in
the Palmerston:
“Th’ gaffer come down to our stall this morning, an’ ‘e says,
‘You know, Walter, this ‘ere’ll not do. What about these props?’
An’ I says to him, ‘Why, what art talkin’ about? What d’st mean
about th’ props?’ ‘It’ll never do, this ‘ere,’ ‘e says. ‘You’ll be
havin’ th’ roof in, one o’ these days.’ An’ I says, ‘Tha’d better
stan’ on a bit o’ clunch, then, an’ hold it up wi’ thy ‘ead.’ So ‘e
wor that mad, ‘e cossed an’ ‘e swore, an’ t’other chaps they did
laugh.” Morel was a good mimic. He imitated the manager’s fat,
squeaky voice, with its attempt at good English.
“‘I shan’t have it, Walter. Who knows more about it, me or
you?’ So I says, ‘I’ve niver fun out how much tha’ knows, Alfred.
It’ll ‘appen carry thee ter bed an’ back.”’So Morel would go on to the amusement of his boon companions.
And some of this would be true. The pit-manager was not an educated
man. He had been a boy along with Morel, so that, while the two
disliked each other, they more or less took each other for granted.
But Alfred Charlesworth did not forgive the butty these
public-house sayings. Consequently, although Morel was a good
miner, sometimes earning as much as five pounds a week when he
married, he came gradually to have worse and worse stalls, where
the coal was thin, and hard to get, and unprofitable.Also, in summer, the pits are slack. Often, on bright sunny
mornings, the men are seen trooping home again at ten, eleven, or
twelve o’clock. No empty trucks stand at the pit-mouth. The women
on the hillside look across as they shake the hearthrug against the
fence, and count the wagons the engine is taking along the line up
the valley. And the children, as they come from school at
dinner-time, looking down the fields and seeing the wheels on the
headstocks standing, say:
“Minton’s knocked off. My dad’ll be at home.”And there is a sort of shadow over all, women and children
and men, because money will be short at the end of the
week.Morel was supposed to give his wife thirty shillings a week,
to provide everything—rent, food, clothes, clubs, insurance,
doctors. Occasionally, if he were flush, he gave her thirty-five.
But these occasions by no means balanced those when he gave her
twenty-five. In winter, with a decent stall, the miner might earn
fifty or fifty-five shillings a week. Then he was happy. On Friday
night, Saturday, and Sunday, he spent royally, getting rid of his
sovereign or thereabouts. And out of so much, he scarcely spared
the children an extra penny or bought them a pound of apples. It
all went in drink. In the bad times, matters were more worrying,
but he was not so often drunk, so that Mrs. Morel used to
say:
“I’m not sure I wouldn’t rather be short, for when he’s
flush, there isn’t a minute of peace.”If he earned forty shillings he kept ten; from thirty-five he
kept five; from thirty-two he kept four; from twenty-eight he kept
three; from twenty-four he kept two; from twenty he kept
one-and-six; from eighteen he kept a shilling; from sixteen he kept
sixpence. He never saved a penny, and he gave his wife no
opportunity of saving; instead, she had occasionally to pay his
debts; not public-house debts, for those never were passed on to
the women, but debts when he had bought a canary, or a fancy
walking-stick.At the wakes time Morel was working badly, and Mrs. Morel was
trying to save against her confinement. So it galled her bitterly
to think he should be out taking his pleasure and spending money,
whilst she remained at home, harassed. There were two days’
holiday. On the Tuesday morning Morel rose early. He was in good
spirits. Quite early, before six o’clock, she heard him whistling
away to himself downstairs. He had a pleasant way of whistling,
lively and musical. He nearly always whistled hymns. He had been a
choir-boy with a beautiful voice, and had taken solos in Southwell
cathedral. His morning whistling alone betrayed it.His wife lay listening to him tinkering away in the garden,
his whistling ringing out as he sawed and hammered away. It always
gave her a sense of warmth and peace to hear him thus as she lay in
bed, the children not yet awake, in the bright early morning, happy
in his man’s fashion.At nine o’clock, while the children with bare legs and feet
were sitting playing on the sofa, and the mother was washing up, he
came in from his carpentry, his sleeves rolled up, his waistcoat
hanging open. He was still a good-looking man, with black, wavy
hair, and a large black moustache. His face was perhaps too much
inflamed, and there was about him a look almost of peevishness. But
now he was jolly. He went straight to the sink where his wife was
washing up.
“What, are thee there!” he said boisterously. “Sluthe off an’
let me wesh mysen.”
“You may wait till I’ve finished,” said his
wife.
“Oh, mun I? An’ what if I shonna?”This good-humoured threat amused Mrs. Morel.
“Then you can go and wash yourself in the soft-water
tub.”
“Ha! I can’ an’ a’, tha mucky little ‘ussy.”With which he stood watching her a moment, then went away to
wait for her.When he chose he could still make himself again a real
gallant. Usually he preferred to go out with a scarf round his
neck. Now, however, he made a toilet. There seemed so much gusto in
the way he puffed and swilled as he washed himself, so much
alacrity with which he hurried to the mirror in the kitchen, and,
bending because it was too low for him, scrupulously parted his wet
black hair, that it irritated Mrs. Morel. He put on a turn-down
collar, a black bow, and wore his Sunday tail-coat. As such, he
looked spruce, and what his clothes would not do, his instinct for
making the most of his good looks would.At half-past nine Jerry Purdy came to call for his pal. Jerry
was Morel’s bosom friend, and Mrs. Morel disliked him. He was a
tall, thin man, with a rather foxy face, the kind of face that
seems to lack eyelashes. He walked with a stiff, brittle dignity,
as if his head were on a wooden spring. His nature was cold and
shrewd. Generous where he intended to be generous, he seemed to be
very fond of Morel, and more or less to take charge of
him.Mrs. Morel hated him. She had known his wife, who had died of
consumption, and who had, at the end, conceived such a violent
dislike of her husband, that if he came into her room it caused her
haemorrhage. None of which Jerry had seemed to mind. And now his
eldest daughter, a girl of fifteen, kept a poor house for him, and
looked after the two younger children.
“A mean, wizzen-hearted stick!” Mrs. Morel said of
him.
“I’ve never known Jerry mean in MY life,” protested Morel. “A
opener-handed and more freer chap you couldn’t find anywhere,
accordin’ to my knowledge.”
“Open-handed to you,” retorted Mrs. Morel. “But his fist is
shut tight enough to his children, poor things.”
“Poor things! And what for are they poor things, I should
like to know.”But Mrs. Morel would not be appeased on Jerry’s
score.The subject of argument was seen, craning his thin neck over
the scullery curtain. He caught Mrs. Morel’s eye.
“Mornin’, missis! Mester in?”
“Yes—he is.”Jerry entered unasked, and stood by the kitchen doorway. He
was not invited to sit down, but stood there, coolly asserting the
rights of men and husbands.
“A nice day,” he said to Mrs. Morel.
“Yes.
“Grand out this morning—grand for a walk.”
“Do you mean YOU’RE going for a walk?” she
asked.
“Yes. We mean walkin’ to Nottingham,” he
replied.
“H’m!”The two men greeted each other, both glad: Jerry, however,
full of assurance, Morel rather subdued, afraid to seem too
jubilant in presence of his wife. But he laced his boots quickly,
with spirit. They were going for a ten-mile walk across the fields
to Nottingham. Climbing the hillside from the Bottoms, they mounted
gaily into the morning. At the Moon and Stars they had their first
drink, then on to the Old Spot. Then a long five miles of drought
to carry them into Bulwell to a glorious pint of bitter. But they
stayed in a field with some haymakers whose gallon bottle was full,
so that, when they came in sight of the city, Morel was sleepy. The
town spread upwards before them, smoking vaguely in the midday
glare, fridging the crest away to the south with spires and factory
bulks and chimneys. In the last field Morel lay down under an oak
tree and slept soundly for over an hour. When he rose to go forward
he felt queer.The two had dinner in the Meadows, with Jerry’s sister, then
repaired to the Punch Bowl, where they mixed in the excitement of
pigeon-racing. Morel never in his life played cards, considering
them as having some occult, malevolent power—“the devil’s
pictures,” he called them! But he was a master of skittles and of
dominoes. He took a challenge from a Newark man, on skittles. All
the men in the old, long bar took sides, betting either one way or
the other. Morel took off his coat. Jerry held the hat containing
the money. The men at the tables watched. Some stood with their
mugs in their hands. Morel felt his big wooden ball carefully, then
launched it. He played havoc among the nine-pins, and won half a
crown, which restored him to solvency.By seven o’clock the two were in good condition. They caught
the 7.30 train home.In the afternoon the Bottoms was intolerable. Every
inhabitant remaining was out of doors. The women, in twos and
threes, bareheaded and in white aprons, gossiped in the alley
between the blocks. Men, having a rest between drinks, sat on their
heels and talked. The place smelled stale; the slate roofs
glistered in the arid heat.Mrs. Morel took the little girl down to the brook in the
meadows, which were not more than two hundred yards away. The water
ran quickly over stones and broken pots. Mother and child leaned on
the rail of the old sheep-bridge, watching. Up at the dipping-hole,
at the other end of the meadow, Mrs. Morel could see the naked
forms of boys flashing round the deep yellow water, or an
occasional bright figure dart glittering over the blackish stagnant
meadow. She knew William was at the dipping-hole, and it was the
dread of her life lest he should get drowned. Annie played under
the tall old hedge, picking up alder cones, that she called
currants. The child required much attention, and the flies were
teasing.The children were put to bed at seven o’clock. Then she
worked awhile.When Walter Morel and Jerry arrived at Bestwood they felt a
load off their minds; a railway journey no longer impended, so they
could put the finishing touches to a glorious day. They entered the
Nelson with the satisfaction of returned travellers.The next day was a work-day, and the thought of it put a
damper on the men’s spirits. Most of them, moreover, had spent
their money. Some were already rolling dismally home, to sleep in
preparation for the morrow. Mrs. Morel, listening to their mournful
singing, went indoors. Nine o’clock passed, and ten, and still “the
pair” had not returned. On a doorstep somewhere a man was singing
loudly, in a drawl: “Lead, kindly Light.” Mrs. Morel was always
indignant with the drunken men that they must sing that hymn when
they got maudlin.
“As if ‘Genevieve’ weren’t good enough,” she
said.The kitchen was full of the scent of boiled herbs and hops.
On the hob a large black saucepan steamed slowly. Mrs. Morel took a
panchion, a great bowl of thick red earth, streamed a heap of white
sugar into the bottom, and then, straining herself to the weight,
was pouring in the liquor.Just then Morel came in. He had been very jolly in the
Nelson, but coming home had grown irritable. He had not quite got
over the feeling of irritability and pain, after having slept on
the ground when he was so hot; and a bad conscience afflicted him
as he neared the house. He did not know he was angry. But when the
garden gate resisted his attempts to open it, he kicked it and
broke the latch. He entered just as Mrs. Morel was pouring the
infusion of herbs out of the saucepan. Swaying slightly, he lurched
against the table. The boiling liquor pitched. Mrs. Morel started
back.
“Good gracious,” she cried, “coming home in his
drunkenness!”
“Comin’ home in his what?” he snarled, his hat over his
eye.Suddenly her blood rose in a jet.
“Say you’re NOT drunk!” she flashed.She had put down her saucepan, and was stirring the sugar
into the beer. He dropped his two hands heavily on the table, and
thrust his face forwards at her.
“‘Say you’re not drunk,’” he repeated. “Why, nobody but a
nasty little bitch like you ‘ud ‘ave such a thought.”He thrust his face forward at her.
“There’s money to bezzle with, if there’s money for nothing
else.”
“I’ve not spent a two-shillin’ bit this day,” he
said.
“You don’t get as drunk as a lord on nothing,” she replied.
“And,” she cried, flashing into sudden fury, “if you’ve been
sponging on your beloved Jerry, why, let him look after his
children, for they need it.”
“It’s a lie, it’s a lie. Shut your face, woman.”They were now at battle-pitch. Each forgot everything save
the hatred of the other and the battle between them. She was fiery
and furious as he. They went on till he called her a
liar.
“No,” she cried, starting up, scarce able to breathe. “Don’t
call me that—you, the most despicable liar that ever walked in
shoe-leather.” She forced the last words out of suffocated
lungs.
“You’re a liar!” he yelled, banging the table with his fist.
“You’re a liar, you’re a liar.”She stiffened herself, with clenched fists.
“The house is filthy with you,” she cried.
“Then get out on it—it’s mine. Get out on it!” he shouted.
“It’s me as brings th’ money whoam, not thee. It’s my house, not
thine. Then ger out on’t—ger out on’t!”
“And I would,” she cried, suddenly shaken into tears of
impotence. “Ah, wouldn’t I, wouldn’t I have gone long ago, but for
those children. Ay, haven’t I repented not going years ago, when
I’d only the one”—suddenly drying into rage. “Do you think it’s for
YOU I stop—do you think I’d stop one minute for YOU?”
“Go, then,” he shouted, beside himself. “Go!”
“No!” She faced round. “No,” she cried loudly, “you shan’t
have it ALL your own way; you shan’t do ALL you like. I’ve got
those children to see to. My word,” she laughed, “I should look
well to leave them to you.”
“Go,” he cried thickly, lifting his fist. He was afraid of
her. “Go!”
“I should be only too glad. I should laugh, laugh, my lord,
if I could get away from you,” she replied.He came up to her, his red face, with its bloodshot eyes,
thrust forward, and gripped her arms. She cried in fear of him,
struggled to be free. Coming slightly to himself, panting, he
pushed her roughly to the outer door, and thrust her forth,
slotting the bolt behind her with a bang. Then he went back into
the kitchen, dropped into his armchair, his head, bursting full of
blood, sinking between his knees. Thus he dipped gradually into a
stupor, from exhaustion and intoxication.The moon was high and magnificent in the August night. Mrs.
Morel, seared with passion, shivered to find herself out there in a
great white light, that fell cold on her, and gave a shock to her
inflamed soul. She stood for a few moments helplessly staring at
the glistening great rhubarb leaves near the door. Then she got the
air into her breast. She walked down the garden path, trembling in
every limb, while the child boiled within her. For a while she
could not control her consciousness; mechanically she went over the
last scene, then over it again, certain phrases, certain moments
coming each time like a brand red-hot down on her soul; and each
time she enacted again the past hour, each time the brand came down
at the same points, till the mark was burnt in, and the pain burnt
out, and at last she came to herself. She must have been half an
hour in this delirious condition. Then the presence of the night
came again to her. She glanced round in fear. She had wandered to
the side garden, where she was walking up and down the path beside
the currant bushes under the long wall. The garden was a narrow
strip, bounded from the road, that cut transversely between the
blocks, by a thick thorn hedge.She hurried out of the side garden to the front, where she
could stand as if in an immense gulf of white light, the moon
streaming high in face of her, the moonlight standing up from the
hills in front, and filling the valley where the Bottoms crouched,
almost blindingly. There, panting and half weeping in reaction from
the stress, she murmured to herself over and over again: “The
nuisance! the nuisance!”She became aware of something about her. With an effort she
roused herself to see what it was that penetrated her
consciousness. The tall white lilies were reeling in the moonlight,
and the air was charged with their perfume, as with a presence.
Mrs. Morel gasped slightly in fear. She touched the big, pallid
flowers on their petals, then shivered. They seemed to be
stretching in the moonlight. She put her hand into one white bin:
the gold scarcely showed on her fingers by moonlight. She bent down
to look at the binful of yellow pollen; but it only appeared dusky.
Then she drank a deep draught of the scent. It almost made her
dizzy.Mrs. Morel leaned on the garden gate, looking out, and she
lost herself awhile. She did not know what she thought. Except for
a slight feeling of sickness, and her consciousness in the child,
herself melted out like scent into the shiny, pale air. After a
time the child, too, melted with her in the mixing-pot of
moonlight, and she rested with the hills and lilies and houses, all
swum together in a kind of swoon.When she came to herself she was tired for sleep. Languidly
she looked about her; the clumps of white phlox seemed like bushes
spread with linen; a moth ricochetted over them, and right across
the garden. Following it with her eye roused her. A few whiffs of
the raw, strong scent of phlox invigorated her. She passed along
the path, hesitating at the white rose-bush. It smelled sweet and
simple. She touched the white ruffles of the roses. Their fresh
scent and cool, soft leaves reminded her of the morning-time and
sunshine. She was very fond of them. But she was tired, and wanted
to sleep. In the mysterious out-of-doors she felt
forlorn.There was no noise anywhere. Evidently the children had not
been wakened, or had gone to sleep again. A train, three miles
away, roared across the valley. The night was very large, and very
strange, stretching its hoary distances infinitely. And out of the
silver-grey fog of darkness came sounds vague and hoarse: a
corncrake not far off, sound of a train like a sigh, and distant
shouts of men.Her quietened heart beginning to beat quickly again, she
hurried down the side garden to the back of the house. Softly she
lifted the latch; the door was still bolted, and hard against her.
She rapped gently, waited, then rapped again. She must not rouse
the children, nor the neighbours. He must be asleep, and he would
not wake easily. Her heart began to burn to be indoors. She clung
to the door-handle. Now it was cold; she would take a chill, and in
her present condition!Putting her apron over her head and her arms, she hurried
again to the side garden, to the window of the kitchen. Leaning on
the sill, she could just see, under the blind, her husband’s arms
spread out on the table, and his black head on the board. He was
sleeping with his face lying on the table. Something in his
attitude made her feel tired of things. The lamp was burning
smokily; she could tell by the copper colour of the light. She
tapped at the window more and more noisily. Almost it seemed as if
the glass would break. Still he did not wake up.After vain efforts, she began to shiver, partly from contact
with the stone, and from exhaustion. Fearful always for the unborn
child, she wondered what she could do for warmth. She went down to
the coal-house, where there was an old hearthrug she had carried
out for the rag-man the day before. This she wrapped over her
shoulders. It was warm, if grimy. Then she walked up and down the
garden path, peeping every now and then under the blind, knocking,
and telling herself that in the end the very strain of his position
must wake him.At last, after about an hour, she rapped long and low at the
window. Gradually the sound penetrated to him. When, in despair,
she had ceased to tap, she saw him stir, then lift his face
blindly. The labouring of his heart hurt him into consciousness.
She rapped imperatively at the window. He started awake. Instantly
she saw his fists set and his eyes glare. He had not a grain of
physical fear. If it had been twenty burglars, he would have gone
blindly for them. He glared round, bewildered, but prepared to
fight.
“Open the door, Walter,” she said coldly.His hands relaxed. It dawned on him what he had done. His
head dropped, sullen and dogged. She saw him hurry to the door,
heard the bolt chock. He tried the latch. It opened—and there stood
the silver-grey night, fearful to him, after the tawny light of the
lamp. He hurried back.When Mrs. Morel entered, she saw him almost running through
the door to the stairs. He had ripped his collar off his neck in
his haste to be gone ere she came in, and there it lay with bursten
button-holes. It made her angry.She warmed and soothed herself. In her weariness forgetting
everything, she moved about at the little tasks that remained to be
done, set his breakfast, rinsed his pit-bottle, put his pit-clothes
on the hearth to warm, set his pit-boots beside them, put him out a
clean scarf and snap-bag and two apples, raked the fire, and went
to bed. He was already dead asleep. His narrow black eyebrows were
drawn up in a sort of peevish misery into his forehead while his
cheeks’ down-strokes, and his sulky mouth, seemed to be saying: “I
don’t care who you are nor what you are, I SHALL have my own
way.”Mrs. Morel knew him too well to look at him. As she
unfastened her brooch at the mirror, she smiled faintly to see her
face all smeared with the yellow dust of lilies. She brushed it
off, and at last lay down. For some time her mind continued
snapping and jetting sparks, but she was asleep before her husband
awoke from the first sleep of his drunkenness.
CHAPTER II
THE BIRTH OF PAUL, AND ANOTHER BATTLE
AFTER such a scene as the last, Walter Morel was for some
days abashed and ashamed, but he soon regained his old bullying
indifference. Yet there was a slight shrinking, a diminishing in
his assurance. Physically even, he shrank, and his fine full
presence waned. He never grew in the least stout, so that, as he
sank from his erect, assertive bearing, his physique seemed to
contract along with his pride and moral strength.
But now he realised how hard it was for his wife to drag
about at her work, and, his sympathy quickened by penitence,
hastened forward with his help. He came straight home from the pit,
and stayed in at evening till Friday, and then he could not remain
at home. But he was back again by ten o’clock, almost quite
sober.