CHAPTER I
“Every one asks me what I ‘think’
of everything,” said Spencer Brydon; “and I make answer as I
can—begging or dodging the question, putting them off with any
nonsense. It wouldn’t matter to any of them really,” he went on,
“for, even were it possible to meet in that stand-and-deliver way
so silly a demand on so big a subject, my ‘thoughts’ would still be
almost altogether about something that concerns only
myself.” He was talking to Miss
Staverton, with whom for a couple of months now he had availed
himself of every possible occasion to talk; this disposition and
this resource, this comfort and support, as the situation in fact
presented itself, having promptly enough taken the first place in
the considerable array of rather unattenuated surprises attending
his so strangely belated return to America. Everything was somehow
a surprise; and that might be natural when one had so long and so
consistently neglected everything, taken pains to give surprises so
much margin for play. He had given them more than thirty
years—thirty-three, to be exact; and they now seemed to him to have
organised their performance quite on the scale of that licence. He
had been twenty-three on leaving New York—he was fifty-six to-day;
unless indeed he were to reckon as he had sometimes, since his
repatriation, found himself feeling; in which case he would have
lived longer than is often allotted to man. It would have taken a
century, he repeatedly said to himself, and said also to Alice
Staverton, it would have taken a longer absence and a more averted
mind than those even of which he had been guilty, to pile up the
differences, the newnesses, the queernesses, above all the
bignesses, for the better or the worse, that at present assaulted
his vision wherever he looked.
The great fact all the while,
however, had been the incalculability; since he had supposed
himself, from decade to
decade, to be allowing, and in
the most liberal and intelligent manner, for brilliancy of change.
He actually saw that he had allowed for nothing; he missed what he
would have been sure of finding, he found what he would never have
imagined.
Proportions and values were
upside-down; the ugly things he had expected, the ugly things of
his far-away youth, when he had too promptly waked up to a sense of
the ugly—these uncanny phenomena placed him rather, as it happened,
under the charm; whereas the “swagger” things, the modern, the
monstrous, the famous things, those he had more particularly, like
thousands of ingenuous enquirers every year, come over to see, were
exactly his sources of dismay. They were as so many set traps for
displeasure, above all for reaction, of which his restless tread
was constantly pressing the spring. It was interesting, doubtless,
the whole show, but it would have been too disconcerting hadn’t a
certain finer truth saved the situation. He had distinctly not, in
this steadier light, come over all for the monstrosities; he had
come, not only in the last analysis but quite on the face of the
act, under an impulse with which they had nothing to do. He had
come—putting the thing pompously—to look at his “property,” which
he had thus for a third of a century not been within four thousand
miles of; or, expressing it less sordidly, he had yielded to the
humour of seeing again his house on the jolly corner, as he
usually, and quite fondly, described it—the one in which he had
first seen the light, in which various members of his family had
lived and had died, in which the holidays of his overschooled
boyhood had been passed and the few social flowers of his chilled
adolescence gathered, and which, alienated then for so long a
period, had, through the successive deaths of his two brothers and
the termination of old arrangements, come wholly into his hands. He
was the owner of another, not quite so “good”—the jolly corner
having been, from far back, superlatively extended and consecrated;
and the value of the pair represented his main capital, with an
income consisting, in these later years, of their respective rents
which (thanks precisely to their original excellent type) had never
been depressingly low. He could live in “Europe,” as he had been in
the habit of living, on the product of these flourishing New York
leases, and all the better since, that of the second
structure, the mere number in its
long row, having within a twelvemonth fallen in, renovation at a
high advance had proved beautifully possible.
These were items of property
indeed, but he had found himself since his arrival distinguishing
more than ever between them. The house within the street, two
bristling blocks westward, was already in course of reconstruction
as a tall mass of flats; he had acceded, some time before, to
overtures for this conversion—in which, now that it was going
forward, it had been not the least of his astonishments to find
himself able, on the spot, and though without a previous ounce of
such experience, to participate with a certain intelligence, almost
with a certain authority. He had lived his life with his back so
turned to such concerns and his face addressed to those of so
different an order that he scarce knew what to make of this lively
stir, in a compartment of his mind never yet penetrated, of a
capacity for business and a sense for construction. These virtues,
so common all round him now, had been dormant in his own
organism—where it might be said of them perhaps that they had slept
the sleep of the just. At present, in the splendid autumn
weather—the autumn at least was a pure boon in the terrible
place—he loafed about his “work” undeterred, secretly agitated; not
in the least “minding” that the whole proposition, as they said,
was vulgar and sordid, and ready to climb ladders, to walk the
plank, to handle materials and look wise about them, to ask
questions, in fine, and challenge explanations and really “go into”
figures.
It amused, it verily quite
charmed him; and, by the same stroke, it amused, and even more,
Alice Staverton, though perhaps charming her perceptibly less. She
wasn’t, however, going to be better-off for it, as he was—and so
astonishingly much: nothing was now likely, he knew, ever to make
her better-off than she found herself, in the afternoon of life, as
the delicately frugal possessor and tenant of the small house in
Irving Place to which she had subtly managed to cling through her
almost unbroken New York career. If he knew the way to it now
better than to any other address among the dreadful multiplied
numberings which seemed to him to reduce the whole place to some
vast ledger-page, overgrown, fantastic, of
ruled and criss-crossed lines and
figures—if he had formed, for his consolation, that habit, it was
really not a little because of the charm of his having encountered
and recognised, in the vast wilderness of the wholesale, breaking
through the mere gross generalisation of wealth and force and
success, a small still scene where items and shades, all delicate
things, kept the sharpness of the notes of a high voice perfectly
trained, and where economy hung about like the scent of a garden.
His old friend lived with one maid and herself dusted her relics
and trimmed her lamps and polished her silver; she stood oft, in
the awful modern crush, when she could, but she sallied forth and
did battle when the challenge was really to “spirit,” the spirit
she after all confessed to, proudly and a little shyly, as to that
of the better time, that of their common, their quite far- away and
antediluvian social period and order. She made use of the
street-cars when need be, the terrible things that people scrambled
for as the panic-stricken at sea scramble for the boats; she
affronted, inscrutably, under stress, all the public concussions
and ordeals; and yet, with that slim mystifying grace of her
appearance, which defied you to say if she were a fair young woman
who looked older through trouble, or a fine smooth older one who
looked young through successful indifference with her precious
reference, above all, to memories and histories into which he could
enter, she was as exquisite for him as some pale pressed flower (a
rarity to begin with), and, failing other sweetnesses, she was a
sufficient reward of his effort. They had communities of knowledge,
“their” knowledge (this discriminating possessive was always on her
lips) of presences of the other age, presences all overlaid, in his
case, by the experience of a man and the freedom of a wanderer,
overlaid by pleasure, by infidelity, by passages of life that were
strange and dim to her, just by “Europe” in short, but still
unobscured, still exposed and cherished, under that pious
visitation of the spirit from which she had never been
diverted.
She had come with him one day to
see how his “apartment- house” was rising; he had helped her over
gaps and explained to her plans, and while they were there had
happened to have, before her, a brief but lively discussion with
the man in charge, the representative of the building firm that had
undertaken his