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„The Lover’s Baedeker and Guide to Arcady” book is the author’s description of a fantasy land inhabited by lovers. It is a travel guide to the mythic land of Arcardy which, according to the map on page 35, is just over the Delectable Mountains from the Land of Hearts Desire and is bordered by the State of Matrimony and the Sea of Dreams. Arcady is transversed by the Road To Wealth and the River Lethe, is just over the Great Divide from the State of Blessed Singleness. The city of Arcady in the kingdom of Arcadia, which is inhabited entirely by a strange but interesting race known as Lovers. After describing how it is to be reached by the Joy Line across the Sea of Dreams in transports of rapture, she tells of its topography, its climate, time, custom-house regulations, flowers...
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Contents
ARCADY AND ITS ENVIRONS
PRELIMINARY INFORMATION
TOPOGRAPHY
TIME’S VALENTINE
THE LAY OF LOTHARIO LEE
HISTORY
ARCADIA
ARCADY
FLORA
THE ARCADIAN LANGUAGE OF FLOWERS
HOTELS
HEARD IN ARCADY
DITHYRAMB BY AN ARCADIAN POET
CONVEYANCES
SHOPS
INSTITUTIONS AND PUBLIC BUILDINGS
BALLADE OF ARCADY
AMUSEMENTS
LANGUAGE
SOME ARCADIAN BROMIDIOMS
EXERCISE FOR THE LANGUAGE STUDENT
DEGREES OF LOVE
DEFINITIONS
LOVE IN ARCADY
INSENSIBILITY
POLITICAL NOTES
ARCADIAN LAWS
COSTUMES
WALKS
BUSINESS SECTION
IT HAPPENED IN ARCADY
CALAMITOUS CATASTROPHE
ADVERTISEMENTS
PRELIMINARY INFORMATION
Over the hills and far away lies Arcady, the Mecca of all Lovers, and therefore the place where Journeys End. Situated on a large tract of enchanted ground, in the Country of Agapemone, Arcady is a beautiful and interesting place, and should be visited by every tourist making the Grand Tour of Life.
Even the shortest sojourn here will yield rich rewards of interest and pleasure, and will contribute more than long years of study to a thorough enjoyment and comprehension of all that is best in life.
The majority of the human race sooner or later find Arcady for themselves, some seeking it with a steadfast purpose, others blindly stumbling into it all unexpectedly.
But to the traveler who would enjoy intelligently its delights, the following hints may not come amiss.
ARCADIA
TOPOGRAPHY
The Province of Arcadia, whose capital is Arcady (see map No. 1), is bounded on the North by the Land of Heart’s Desire, from which it is separated by the Happy Valley.
On the East it is bounded by the Gulf of Time, across which dimly may be seen, in the distance, the Garden of Eden.
On the West by the Mountains of Opposition, beyond which is the Gulf of Dark Despair.
Along the Southern Shores murmur the lapping wavelets of the Sea of Dreams, whose wonderful phenomenon of Mirage often deceives even an experienced traveler.
Routes: Travelers may approach Arcady by several routes. One of the pleasantest is the Joy Line, by which passengers are carried across the Sea of Dreams in Transports of Rapture.
Another approach, preferred by adventurous ones in search of excitement, is across the Seas of Misunderstanding, through the troubled waters of the Gulf of Wo, and over the difficult and well-nigh impassable Mountains of Opposition. However, when these mountains are safely crossed the way is delightful and easy.
Roads out of Arcady: The Road to Fame often leads out of Arcady. An ambitious youth, hearing a silvery trumpet note, looks up to see a radiant Goddess beckoning to him. Unless a true Lover, he may be dazzled by her glory and cajoled by her promises. Lured away, he follows the fickle Fair and soon loses all interest in Arcadian delights.
The Road to Wealth is another easy way out of Arcady. Not content with the Pot of Gold at the End of the Rainbow, many with a greed for lucre will follow the Goddess Fortune, who is even more false and fickle than the Goddess Fame.
Also there is the Downward Path, which leads from the State of Matrimony to the Great Divide. Crossing this, the unfortunate traveler returns to the State of Single Blessedness.
Season: Arcady is an all-the-year-round resort, and most of the districts described may be visited at any season of the year. Spring and Early Summer are perhaps best for an initial visit.
June is an especially desirable time for young lovers to be in Arcady, but Lovelorn Swains and Minor Poets frequently choose the melancholy days of Autumn.
Climate: The Climatic conditions of Arcady are peculiar. Though usually the weather is balmy and pleasant, sometimes a sudden coolness springs up and a frost is often distinctly felt. A stormy time may ensue, and then suddenly the clouds clear away and all is sunshine once more.