CHAPTER I
My chieftain ancestors had lived
at Glandore for many centuries and were very well known. Hardly a
ship could pass the Old Head of Kinsale without some boats putting
off to exchange the time of day with her, and our family name was
on men’s tongues in half the seaports of Europe, I dare say. My
ancestors lived in castles which were like churches stuck on end,
and they drank the best of everything amid the joyous cries of a
devoted peasantry. But the good time passed away soon enough, and
when I had reached the age of eighteen we had nobody on the land
but a few fisher-folk and small farmers, people who were almost
law-abiding, and my father came to die more from disappointment
than from any other cause. Before the end he sent for me to come to
his bedside.
“Tom,” he said, “I brought you
into existence, and God help you safe out of it; for you are not
the kind of man ever to turn your hand to work, and there is only
enough money to last a gentleman five more years.
“The ‘Martha Bixby,’ she was, out
of Bristol for the West Indies, and if it hadn’t been for her we
would never have got along this far with plenty to eat and drink.
However, I leave you, besides the money, the two swords,—the grand
one that King Louis, God bless him, gave me, and the plain one that
will really be of use to you if you get into a disturbance. Then
here is the most important matter of all. Here are some papers
which young Lord Strepp gave me to hold for him when we were
comrades in France. I don’t know what they are, having had very
little time for reading during my life, but do you return them to
him. He is now the great Earl of Westport, and he lives in London
in a grand house, I hear. In the last campaign in France I had to
lend him a pair of breeches or he would have gone bare. These
papers are important to him, and he may reward you, but do not you
depend on it, for you may get the back of his hand. I have not seen
him for years. I am glad I had you taught to read. They read
considerably in
England, I hear. There is one
more cask of the best brandy remaining, and I recommend you to
leave for England as soon as it is finished. And now, one more
thing, my lad, never be civil to a king’s officer. Wherever you see
a red coat, depend there is a rogue between the front and the back
of it. I have said everything. Push the bottle near me.”
Three weeks after my father’s
burial I resolved to set out, with no more words, to deliver the
papers to the Earl of Westport. I was resolved to be prompt in
obeying my father’s command, for I was extremely anxious to see the
world, and my feet would hardly wait for me. I put my estate into
the hands of old Mickey Clancy, and told him not to trouble the
tenants too much over the rent, or they probably would split his
skull for him. And I bid Father Donovan look out for old Mickey
Clancy, that he stole from me only what was reasonable.
I went to the Cove of Cork and
took ship there for Bristol, and arrived safely after a passage
amid great storms which blew us so near Glandore that I feared the
enterprise of my own peasantry. Bristol, I confess, frightened me
greatly. I had not imagined such a huge and teeming place. All the
ships in the world seemed to lie there, and the quays were thick
with sailor-men. The streets rang with noise. I suddenly found that
I was a young gentleman from the country.
I followed my luggage to the best
inn, and it was very splendid, fit to be a bishop’s palace. It was
filled with handsomely dressed people who all seemed to be yelling,
“Landlord! landlord!” And there was a little fat man in a white
apron who flew about as if he were being stung by bees, and he was
crying, “Coming, sir! Yes, madam! At once, your ludship!” They
heeded me no more than if I had been an empty glass. I stood on one
leg, waiting until the little fat man should either wear himself
out or attend all the people. But it was to no purpose. He did not
wear out, nor did his business finish, so finally I was obliged to
plant myself in his way, but my speech was decent enough as I asked
him for a chamber. Would you believe it, he stopped abruptly and
stared at me with sudden suspicion. My speech had been so civil
that he had thought perhaps I was a rogue. I only give you this
incident to show that if later I came to bellow like a bull
with
the best of them, it was only
through the necessity of proving to strangers that I was a
gentleman. I soon learned to enter an inn as a drunken soldier goes
through the breach into a surrendering city.
Having made myself as presentable
as possible, I came down from my chamber to seek some supper. The
supper-room was ablaze with light and well filled with persons of
quality, to judge from the noise that they were making. My seat was
next to a garrulous man in plum-colour, who seemed to know the
affairs of the entire world. As I dropped into my chair he was
saying—
“—the heir to the title, of
course. Young Lord Strepp. That is he—the slim youth with light
hair. Oh, of course, all in shipping. The Earl must own twenty sail
that trade from Bristol. He is posting down from London, by the
way, to- night.”
You can well imagine how these
words excited me. I half arose from my chair with the idea of going
at once to the young man who had been indicated as Lord Strepp, and
informing him of my errand, but I had a sudden feeling of timidity,
a feeling that it was necessary to be proper with these people of
high degree. I kept my seat, resolving to accost him directly after
supper. I studied him with interest. He was a young man of about
twenty years, with fair unpowdered hair and a face ruddy from a
life in the open air. He looked generous and kindly, but just at
the moment he was damning a waiter in language that would have set
fire to a stone bridge. Opposite him was a clear-eyed soldierly man
of about forty, whom I had heard called “Colonel,” and at the
Colonel’s right was a proud, dark-skinned man who kept looking in
all directions to make sure that people regarded him, seated thus
with a lord.
They had drunk eight bottles of
port, and in those days eight bottles could just put three
gentlemen in pleasant humour. As the ninth bottle came on the table
the Colonel cried—
“Come, Strepp, tell us that story
of how your father lost his papers. Gad, that’s a good
story.”
“No, no,” said the young lord.
“It isn’t a good story, and besides my father never tells it at
all. I misdoubt it’s truth.”
The Colonel pounded the table.
“‘Tis true. ‘Tis too good a story to be false. You know the story,
Forister?” said he, turning to the dark-skinned man. The latter
shook his head.
“Well, when the Earl was a young
man serving with the French he rather recklessly carried with him
some valuable papers relating to some estates in the North, and
once the noble Earl—or Lord Strepp as he was then—found it
necessary, after fording a stream, to hang his breeches on a bush
to dry, and then a certain blackguard of a wild Irishman in the
corps came along and stole—”
But I had arisen and called
loudly but with dignity up the long table, “That, sir, is a lie.”
The room came still with a bang, if I may be allowed that
expression. Every one gaped at me, and the Colonel’s face slowly
went the colour of a tiled roof.
“My father never stole his
lordship’s breeches, for the good reason that at the time his
lordship had no breeches. ‘Twas the other way. My father—”
Here the two long rows of faces
lining the room crackled for a moment, and then every man burst
into a thunderous laugh. But I had flung to the winds my timidity
of a new country, and I was not to be put down by these
clowns.
“‘Tis a lie against an honourable
man and my father,” I shouted. “And if my father hadn’t provided
his lordship with breeches, he would have gone bare, and there’s
the truth. And,” said I, staring at the Colonel, “I give the lie
again. We are never obliged to give it twice in my country.”
The Colonel had been grinning a
little, no doubt thinking, along with everybody else in the room,
that I was drunk or crazy; but this last twist took the smile off
his face clean enough, and he came to his feet with a bound. I
awaited him. But young Lord Strepp and Forister grabbed him and
began to argue. At the same time there came down upon me such a
deluge of waiters and pot-boys, and, may be, hostlers, that I
couldn’t have done anything if I had been an elephant. They were
frightened out of their wits and painfully respectful, but
all the same and all the time
they were bundling me toward the door. “Sir! Sir! Sir! I beg you,
sir! Think of the ‘ouse, sir! Sir! Sir! Sir!” And I found myself
out in the hall.
Here I addressed them calmly.
“Loose me and takes yourselves off quickly, lest I grow angry and
break some dozen of these wooden heads.” They took me at my word
and vanished like ghosts. Then the landlord came bleating, but I
merely told him that I wanted to go to my chamber, and if anybody
inquired for me I wished him conducted up at once.
In my chamber I had not long to
wait. Presently there were steps in the corridor and a knock at my
door. At my bidding the door opened and Lord Strepp entered. I
arose and we bowed. He was embarrassed and rather dubious.
“Aw,” he began, “I come, sir,
from Colonel Royale, who begs to be informed who he has had the
honour of offending, sir?”
“‘Tis not a question for your
father’s son, my lord,” I answered bluntly at last.
“You are, then, the son of The
O’Ruddy?”
“No,” said I. “I am The O’Ruddy.
My father died a month gone and more.”
“Oh!” said he. And I now saw why
he was embarrassed. He had feared from the beginning that I was
altogether too much in the right. “Oh!” said he again. I made up my
mind that he was a good lad. “That is dif—” he began awkwardly. “I
mean, Mr. O’Ruddy—oh, damn it all, you know what I mean, Mr.
O’Ruddy!”
I bowed. “Perfectly, my lord!” I
did not understand him, of course.
“I shall have the honour to
inform Colonel Royale that Mr. O’Ruddy is entitled to every
consideration,” he said more collectedly. “If Mr. O’Ruddy will have
the goodness to await me here?”
“Yes, my lord.” He was going in
order to tell the Colonel that I was a gentleman. And of course he
returned quickly with the news. But he did not look as if the
message was one which he could deliver with a glib tongue. “Sir,”
he began, and then
halted. I could but courteously
wait. “Sir, Colonel Royale bids me say that he is shocked to find
that he has carelessly and publicly inflicted an insult upon an
unknown gentleman through the memory of the gentleman’s dead
father. Colonel Royale bids me to say, sir, that he is overwhelmed
with regret, and that far from taking an initial step himself it is
his duty to express to you his feeling that his movements should
coincide with any arrangements you may choose to make.”
I was obliged to be silent for a
considerable period in order to gather head and tail of this
marvellous sentence. At last I caught it. “At daybreak I shall walk
abroad,” I replied, “and I have no doubt that Colonel Royale will
be good enough to accompany me. I know nothing of Bristol. Any
cleared space will serve.”
My Lord Strepp bowed until he
almost knocked his forehead on the floor. “You are most amiable,
Mr. O’Ruddy. You of course will give me the name of some friend to
whom I can refer minor matters?”
I found that I could lie in
England as readily as ever I did in Ireland. “My friend will be on
the ground with me, my lord; and as he also is a very amiable man
it will not take two minutes to make everything clear and fair.”
Me, with not a friend in the world but Father O’Donovan and Mickey
Clancy at Glandore!
Lord Strepp bowed again, the same
as before. “Until the morning then, Mr. O’Ruddy,” he said, and left
me.
I sat me down on my bed to think.
In truth I was much puzzled and amazed. These gentlemen were
actually reasonable and were behaving like men of heart. Neither my
books nor my father’s stories—great lies, many of them, God rest
him!—had taught me that the duelling gentry could think at all, and
I was quite certain that they never tried. “You were looking at me,
sir?” “Was I, ‘faith? Well, if I care to look at you I shall look
at you.” And then away they would go at it, prodding at each
other’s bellies until somebody’s flesh swallowed a foot of steel.
“Sir, I do not like the colour of your coat!” Clash! “Sir, red hair
always offends me.” Cling! “Sir, your fondness for rabbit-pie is
not polite.” Clang!
However, the minds of young Lord
Strepp and Colonel Royale seemed to be capable of a process which
may be termed human reflection. It was plain that the Colonel did
not like the situation at all, and perhaps considered himself the
victim of a peculiarly exasperating combination of circumstances.
That an Irishman should turn up in Bristol and give him the lie
over a French pair of breeches must have seemed astonishing to him,
notably when he learned that the Irishman was quite correct, having
in fact a clear title to speak authoritatively upon the matter of
the breeches. And when Lord Strepp learned that I was The O’Ruddy
he saw clearly that the Colonel was in the wrong, and that I had a
perfect right to resent the insult to my father’s memory. And so
the Colonel probably said: “Look you, Strepp. I have no desire to
kill this young gentleman, because I insulted his father’s name. It
is out of all decency. And do you go to him this second time and
see what may be done in the matter of avoidance. But, mark you, if
he expresses any wishes, you of course offer immediate
accommodation. I will not wrong him twice.” And so up came my Lord
Strepp and hemmed and hawed in that way which puzzled me. A pair of
thoughtful, honourable fellows, these, and I admired them
greatly.
There was now no reason why I
should keep my chamber, since if I now met even the Colonel himself
there would be no brawling; only bows. I was not, indeed, fond of
these latter,— replying to Lord Strepp had almost broken my back;
but, any how, more bows were better than more loud words and
another downpour of waiters and pot-boys.
But I had reckoned without the
dark-skinned man, Forister. When I arrived in the lower corridor
and was passing through it on my way to take the air, I found a
large group of excited people talking of the quarrel and the duel
that was to be fought at daybreak. I thought it was a great hubbub
over a very small thing, but it seems that the mainspring of the
excitement was the tongue of this black Forister. “Why, the Irish
run naked through their native forests,” he was crying. “Their sole
weapon is the great knotted club, with which, however, they do not
hesitate, when in great numbers, to attack lions and
tigers. But how can this
barbarian face the sword of an officer of His Majesty’s
army?”
Some in the group espied my
approach, and there was a nudging of elbows. There was a general
display of agitation, and I marvelled at the way in which many made
it to appear that they had not formed part of the group at all.
Only Forister was cool and insolent. He stared full at me and
grinned, showing very white teeth. “Swords are very different from
clubs, great knotted clubs,” he said with admirable
deliberation.
“Even so,” rejoined I gravely.
“Swords are for gentlemen, while clubs are to clout the heads of
rogues—thus.” I boxed his ear with my open hand, so that he fell
against the wall. “I will now picture also the use of boots by
kicking you into the inn yard which is adjacent.” So saying I
hurled him to the great front door which stood open, and then,
taking a sort of hop and skip, I kicked for glory and the
Saints.
I do not know that I ever kicked
a man with more success. He shot out as if he had been heaved by a
catapult. There was a dreadful uproar behind me, and I expected
every moment to be stormed by the waiter-and-pot-boy regiment.
However I could hear some of the gentlemen bystanding cry:
“Well done! Well kicked! A
record! A miracle!”
But my first hours on English
soil contained still other festivities. Bright light streamed out
from the great door, and I could plainly note what I shall call the
arc or arcs described by Forister. He struck the railing once, but
spun off it, and to my great astonishment went headlong and
slap-crash into some sort of an upper servant who had been
approaching the door with both arms loaded with cloaks, cushions,
and rugs.
I suppose the poor man thought
that black doom had fallen upon him from the sky. He gave a great
howl as he, Forister, the cloaks, cushions, and rugs spread out
grandly in one sublime confusion.
Some ladies screamed, and a bold
commanding voice said: “In the devil’s name what have we here?”
Behind the unhappy servant had been coming two ladies and a very
tall gentleman
in a black cloak that reached to
his heels. “What have we here?” again cried this tall man, who
looked like an old eagle. He stepped up to me haughtily. I knew
that I was face to face with the Earl of Westport.
But was I a man for ever in the
wrong that I should always be giving down and walking away with my
tail between my legs? Not I; I stood bravely to the Earl:
“If your lordship pleases, ‘tis
The O’Ruddy kicking a blackguard into the yard,” I made answer
coolly.
I could see that he had been
about to shout for the landlord and more waiters and pot-boys, but
at my naming myself he gave a quick stare.
“The O’Ruddy?” he repeated.
“Rubbish!”
He was startled, bewildered; but
I could not tell if he were glad or grieved.
“‘Tis all the name I own,” I said
placidly. “My father left it me clear, it being something that he
could not mortgage. ‘Twas on his death-bed he told me of lending
you the breeches, and that is why I kicked the man into the yard;
and if your lordship had arrived sooner I could have avoided this
duel at daybreak, and, any how, I wonder at his breeches fitting
you. He was a small man.”
Suddenly the Earl raised his
hand. “Enough,” he said sternly. “You are your father’s son. Come
to my chamber in the morning, O’Ruddy.”
There had been little chance to
see what was inside the cloaks of the ladies, but at the words of
the Earl there peeped from one hood a pair of bright liquid
eyes—God save us all! In a flash I was no longer a free man; I was
a dazed slave; the Saints be good to us!
The contents of the other hood
could not have been so interesting, for from it came the raucous
voice of a bargeman with a cold:
“Why did he kick him? Whom did he
kick? Had he cheated at play? Where has he gone?”
The upper servant appeared, much
battered and holding his encrimsoned nose.
“My lord—” he began.
But the Earl roared at
him,—
“Hold your tongue, rascal, and in
future look where you are going and don’t get in a gentleman’s
way.”
The landlord, in a perfect
anguish, was hovering with his squadrons on the flanks. They could
not think of pouncing upon me if I was noticed at all by the great
Earl; but, somewhat as a precaution perhaps, they remained in form
for attack. I had no wish that the pair of bright eyes should see
me buried under a heap of these wretches, so I bowed low to the
ladies and to the Earl and passed out of doors. As I left, the Earl
moved his hand to signify that he was now willing to endure the
attendance of the landlord and his people, and in a moment the inn
rang with hurried cries and rushing feet.
As I passed near the taproom
window the light fell full upon a railing; just beneath and over
this railing hung two men. At first I thought they were ill, but
upon passing near I learned that they were simply limp and helpless
with laughter, the sound of which they contrived to keep muffled.
To my surprise I recognized the persons of young Lord Strepp and
Colonel Royale.
CHAPTER II
The night was growing, and as I
was to fight at daybreak I needed a good rest; but I could not
forget that in my pride I had told Lord Strepp that I was provided
with a friend to attend me at the duel. It was on my mind. I must
achieve a friend, or Colonel Royale might quite properly refuse to
fight me on the usual grounds that if he killed me there would be
present no adherent of my cause to declare that the fight was fair.
And any how I had lied so thoroughly to Lord Strepp. I must have a
friend.
But how was I to carve a friend
out of this black Bristol at such short notice? My sense told me
that friends could not be found in the road like pebbles, but some
curious feeling kept me abroad, scanning by the light of the
lanterns or the torches each face that passed me. A low dull roar
came from the direction of the quay, and this was the noise of the
sailor-men, being drunk. I knew that there would be none found
there to suit my purpose, but my spirit led me to wander so that I
could not have told why I went this way or that way.
Of a sudden I heard from a grassy
bank beside me the sound of low and strenuous sobbing. I stopped
dead short to listen, moved by instinctive recognition. Aye, I was
right. It was Irish keening. Some son of Erin was spelling out his
sorrow to the darkness with that profound and garrulous eloquence
which is in the character of my people.
“Wirra, wirra! Sorrow the day I
would be leaving Ireland against my own will and intention, and may
the rocks go out to meet the lugger that brought me here! It’s
beginning to rain, too! Sure it never rains like this in Ireland!
And me without a brass penny to buy a bed! If the Saints save me
from England, ‘tis al—”
“Come out of that, now!” said
I.
The monologue ceased; there was a
quick silence. Then the voice, much altered, said: “Who calls? ‘Tis
may be an Irish
voice!”
“It is,” said I. “I’ve swallowed
as much peat smoke as any man of my years. Come out of that now,
and let me have a look at you.”
He came trustfully enough,
knowing me to be Irish, and I examined him as well as I was able in
the darkness. He was what I expected, a bedraggled vagabond with
tear-stains on his dirty cheeks and a vast shock of hair which I
well knew would look, in daylight, like a burning haycock. And as I
examined him he just as carefully examined me. I could see his
shrewd blue eyes twinkling.
“You are a red man,” said I. “I
know the strain; ‘tis better than some. Your family must have been
very inhospitable people.” And then, thinking that I had spent
enough time, I was about to give the fellow some coin and send him
away. But here a mad project came into my empty head. I had ever
been the victim of my powerful impulses, which surge up within me
and sway me until I can only gasp at my own conduct. The sight of
this red-headed scoundrel had thrust an idea into my head, and I
was a lost man.
“Mark you!” said I to him. “You
know what I am?”
“‘Tis hard to see in the dark,”
he answered; “but I mistrust you are a gentleman, sir. McDermott of
the Three Trees had a voice and a way with him like you, and Father
Burk too, and he was a gentleman born if he could only remain
sober.”
“Well, you’ve hit it, in the dark
or whatever,” said I. “I am a gentleman. Indeed I am an O’Ruddy.
Have you ever been hearing of my family?”
“Not of your honour’s branch of
it, sure,” he made answer confidently. “But I have often been
hearing of the O’Ruddys of Glandore, who are well known to be such
great robbers and blackguards that their match is not to be found
in all the south of Ireland. Nor in the west, neither, for that
matter.”
“Aye,” said I, “I have heard that
that branch of the family was much admired by the peasantry for
their qualities. But let us
have done with it and speak of
other matters. I want a service of you.”
“Yes, your honour,” said he,
dropping his voice. “May be ‘twill not be the first time I’ve been
behind a ditch; but the light to-night is very bad unless I am
knowing him well, and I would never be forgetting how Tim Malone
let fly in the dark of a night like this, thinking it was a
bailiff, until she screamed out with the pain in her leg, the poor
creature, and her beyond seventy and a good Catholic.”
“Come out of it now!” said I
impatiently. “You will be behind no ditch.” And as we walked back
to the inn I explained to my new man the part I wished him to play.
He was amazed at it, and I had to explain fifty times; but when it
once was established in his red head Paddy was wild with
enthusiasm, and I had to forbid him telling me how well he would do
it.
I had them give him some straw in
the stable, and then retired to my chamber for needed rest. Before
dawn I had them send Paddy to me, and by the light of a new fire I
looked at him. Ye Saints! What hair! It must have been more than a
foot in length, and the flaming strands radiated in all directions
from an isolated and central spire which shot out straight toward
the sky. I knew what to do with his tatters, but that crimson
thatch dumfounded me. However there was no going back now, so I set
to work upon him. Luckily my wardrobe represented three generations
of O’Ruddy clothes, and there was a great plenty. I put my impostor
in a suit of blue velvet with a flowered waistcoat and stockings of
pink. I gave him a cocked hat and a fine cloak. I worked with
success up to the sword-belt, and there I was checked. I had two
swords, but only one belt. However, I slung the sword which King
Louis had given my father on a long string from Paddy’s neck and
sternly bid him keep his cloak tight about him. We were
ready.
“Now, Paddy,” said I, “do you bow
in this manner.” I bowed as a gentleman should. But I will not say
how I strove with him. I could do little in that brief space. If he
remained motionless and kept his tongue still he was somewhat near
his part, but the moment he moved he was astonishing. I depended on
keeping him under my eye, and I told him to watch me like
a cat. “Don’t go thinking how
grand you are, that way,” I cried to him angrily. “If you make a
blunder of it, the gentlemen will cudgel you, mark you that. Do you
as I direct you. And the string, curse you. Mind your cloak!” The
villain had bethought him of his flowered waistcoat, and with a
comic air flung back his coat to display it. “Take your fingers out
of your mouth. Stop scratching your shin with your foot. Leave your
hair alone. ‘Tis as good and as bad as you can make it. Come along
now, and hold your tongue like a graven image if you would not be
having me stop the duel to lather you.”
We marched in good order out of
the inn. We saw our two gentlemen awaiting us, wrapped in their
cloaks, for the dawn was cold. They bowed politely, and as I
returned their salute I said in a low, quick aside to Paddy:
“Now, for the love of God, bow
for your life!”
My intense manner must have
frightened the poor thing, for he ducked as swiftly as if he had
been at a fair in Ireland and somebody had hove a cobble at his
head.
“Come up!” I whispered, choking
with rage. “Come up! You’ll be breaking your nose on the
road.”
He straightened himself, looking
somewhat bewildered, and said:
“What was it? Was I too slow? Did
I do it well?”
“Oh, fine,” said I. “Fine. You do
it as well as that once more, and you will probably break your own
neck, and ‘tis not me will be buying masses for your soul, you
thief. Now don’t drop as if a gamekeeper had shot at you. There is
no hurry in life. Be quiet and easy.”
“I mistrusted I was going too
fast,” said he; “but for the life of me I couldn’t pull up. If I
had been the Dublin mail, and the road thick as fleas with
highwaymen, I should have gone through them grand.”
My Lord Strepp and Colonel Royale
had not betrayed the slightest surprise at the appearance of my
extraordinary companion. Their smooth, regular faces remained
absolutely imperturbable. This I took to be very considerate of
them, but I
gave them just a little more than
their due, as I afterward perceived when I came to understand the
English character somewhat. The great reason was that Paddy and I
were foreigners. It is not to be thought that gentlemen of their
position would have walked out for a duel with an Englishman in the
party of so fantastic an appearance. They would have placed him at
once as a person impossible and altogether out of their class. They
would have told a lackey to kick this preposterous creation into
the horse-pond. But since Paddy was a foreigner he was possessed of
some curious license, and his grotesque ways could be explained
fully in the simple phrase, “‘Tis a foreigner.”
So, then, we preceded my Lord
Strepp and Colonel Royale through a number of narrow streets and
out into some clear country. I chose a fine open bit of green turf
as a goodly place for us to meet, and I warped Paddy through the
gate and moved to the middle of the field. I drew my sword and
saluted, and then turned away. I had told Paddy everything which a
heaven-sent sense of instruction could suggest, and if he failed I
could do no more than kill him.
After I had kicked him sharply he
went aside with Lord Strepp, and they indulged in what sounded like
a very animated discussion. Finally I was surprised to see Lord
Strepp approaching me. He said:
“It is very irregular, but I seem
unable to understand your friend. He has proposed to me that the
man whose head is broken first—I do not perfectly understand what
he could mean by that; it does not enter our anticipations that a
man could possibly have his head broken—he has proposed that the
man whose head may be broken first should provide ‘lashings’—I feel
sure that is the word—lashings of meat and drink at some good inn
for the others. Lashings is a word which I do not know. We do not
know how to understand you gentlemen when you speak of lashings. I
am instructed to meet any terms which you may suggest, but I find
that I cannot make myself clear to your friend who speaks of
nothing but lashings.”
“Sir,” said I, as I threw coat
and waistcoat on the grass, “my friend refers to a custom of his
own country. You will, I feel sure, pardon his misconception of the
circumstances. Pray accept my regrets, and, if you please, I am
ready.”
He immediately signified that his
mind was now clear, and that the incident of Paddy’s lashings he
regarded as closed. As for that flame-headed imp of crime, if I
could have got my hands upon him he would have taken a short road
to his fathers. Him and his lashings! As I stood there with a black
glare at him, the impudent scoundrel repeatedly winked at me with
the readable information that if I only would be patient and bide a
moment he would compass something very clever. As I faced Colonel
Royale I was so wild with thinking of what I would do to Paddy,
that, for all I knew, I might have been crossing swords with my
mother.
And now as to this duel. I will
not conceal that I was a very fine fencer in both the French and
Italian manners. My father was in his day one of the finest blades
in Paris, and had fought with some of the most skillful and
impertinent gentlemen in all France. He had done his best to give
me his eye and his wrist, and sometimes he would say that I was
qualified to meet all but the best in the world. He commonly made
fun of the gentlemen of England, saying that a dragoon was their
ideal of a man with a sword; and he would add that the rapier was a
weapon which did not lend itself readily to the wood- chopper’s
art. He was all for the French and Italian schools.
I had always thought that my
father’s judgment was very good, but I could not help reflecting
that if it turned out to be bad I would have a grievance as well as
a sword-thrust in the body. Colonel Royale came at me in a somewhat
leisurely manner, and, as I said, my mind was so full of rage at
Paddy that I met the first of my opponent’s thrusts through sheer
force of habit. But my head was clear a moment later, and I knew
that I was fighting my first duel in England and for my father’s
honour. It was no time to think of Paddy.
Another moment later I knew that
I was the Colonel’s master. I could reach him where I chose. But he
did not know it. He went on prodding away with a serious
countenance, evidently
under the impression that he had
me hard put to it. He was as grave as an owl-faced parson. And now
here I did a sorry thing. I became the victim of another of my mad
impulses. I was seized with an ungovernable desire to laugh. It was
hideous. But laugh I did, and, of necessity, square in the
Colonel’s face. And to this day I regret it.
Then the real duel began. At my
laugh the Colonel instantly lost his grave air, and his countenance
flushed with high, angry surprise. He beset me in a perfect fury,
caring no more for his guard than if he had been made of iron.
Never have I seen such quick and tremendous change in a man. I had
laughed at him under peculiar conditions: very well, then; he was a
demon. Thrice my point pricked him to keep him off, and thrice my
heart was in my mouth that he would come on regardless. The blood
oozed out on his white ruffled shirt; he was panting heavily, and
his eyes rolled. He was a terrible sight to face. At last I again
touched him, and this time sharply and in the sword arm, and upon
the instant my Lord Strepp knocked our blades apart.
“Enough,” he cried sternly.
“Back, Colonel! Back!”
The Colonel flung himself sobbing
into his friend’s arms, choking out, “O God, Strepp! I couldn’t
reach him. I couldn’t reach him, Strepp! Oh, my God!”
At the same time I disappeared,
so to speak, in the embrace of my red-headed villain, who let out
an Irish howl of victory that should have been heard at Glandore.
“Be quiet, rascal,” I cried, flinging him off. But he went on with
his howling until I was obliged forcibly to lead him to a corner of
the field, where he exclaimed:
“Oh, your honour, when I seen the
other gentleman, all blazing with rage, rush at you that way, and
me with not so much as a tuppence for all my service to you
excepting these fine clothes and the sword, although I am thinking
I shall have little to do with swords if this is the way they do
it, I said, ‘Sorrow the day England saw me!’”
If I had a fool for a second,
Colonel Royale had a fine, wise young man. Lord Strepp was dealing
firmly and coolly with
his maddened principal.
“I can fight with my left hand,”
the Colonel was screaming. “I tell you, Strepp, I am resolved!
Don’t bar my way! I will kill him! I will kill him!”
“You are not in condition to
fight,” said the undisturbed young man. “You are wounded in four
places already. You are in my hands. You will fight no more
to-day.”
“But, Strepp!” wailed the
Colonel. “Oh, my God, Strepp!” “You fight no more to-day,” said the
young lord.
Then happened unexpected
interruptions. Paddy told me afterward that during the duel a maid
had looked over a wall and yelled, and dropped a great brown bowl
at sight of our occupation. She must have been the instrument that
aroused the entire county, for suddenly men came running from
everywhere. And the little boys! There must have been little boys
from all over England.
“What is it? What is it?”
“Two gentlemen have been
fighting!”
“Oh, aye, look at him with the
blood on him!”
“Well, and there is young my Lord
Strepp. He’d be deep in the matter, I warrant you!”
“Look yon, Bill! Mark the
gentleman with the red hair. He’s not from these parts, truly.
Where, think you, he comes from?”
“‘Tis a great marvel to see such
hair, and I doubt not he comes from Africa.”
They did not come very near, for
in those days there was little the people feared but a gentleman,
and small wonder. However, when the little boys judged that the
delay in a resumption of the fight was too prolonged, they did not
hesitate to express certain unconventional opinions and
commands.
“Hurry up, now!” “Go on!”
“You’re both afeared!” “Begin!
Begin!”
“Are the gentlemen in
earnest?”
“Sirs, do you mean ever to fight
again? Begin, begin.”
But their enthusiasm waxed high
after they had thoroughly comprehended Paddy and his hair.
“You’re alight, sir; you’re
alight!” “Water! Water!”
“Farmer Pelton will have the
officers at you an you go near his hay. Water!”
Paddy understood that they were
paying tribute to his importance, and he again went suddenly out of
my control. He began to strut and caper and pose with the air of
knowing that he was the finest gentleman in England.
“Paddy, you baboon,” said I, “be
quiet and don’t be making yourself a laughing-stock for the whole
of them.”
But I could give small heed to
him, for I was greatly occupied in watching Lord Strepp and the
Colonel. The Colonel was listening now to his friend for the simple
reason that the loss of blood had made him too weak to fight again.
Of a sudden he slumped gently down through Lord Strepp’s arms to
the ground, and, as the young man knelt, he cast his eyes about him
until they rested upon me in what I took to be mute appeal. I ran
forward, and we quickly tore his fine ruffles to pieces and
succeeded in quite stanching his wounds, none of which were
serious. “‘Tis only a little blood-letting,” said my Lord Strepp
with something of a smile. “‘Twill cool him, perchance.”
“None of them are deep,” I cried
hastily. “I—”
But Lord Strepp stopped me with a
swift gesture. “Yes,” he said, “I knew. I could see. But—” He
looked at me with troubled eyes. “It is an extraordinary situation.
You have spared him, and—he will not wish to be spared, I feel
sure. Most remarkable case.”
“Well, I won’t kill him,” said I
bluntly, having tired of this rubbish. “Damme if I will!”
Lord Strepp laughed outright. “It
is ridiculous,” he said. “Do you return, O’Ruddy, and leave me the
care of this business. And,” added he, with embarrassed manner,
“this mixture is full strange; but—I feel sure—any how, I salute
you, sir.” And in his bow he paid a sensible tribute to my
conduct.
Afterward there was nought to do
but gather in Paddy and return to the inn. I found my countryman
swaggering to and fro before the crowd. Some ignoramus, or some
wit, had dubbed him the King of Ireland, and he was playing to the
part.
“Paddy, you red-headed scandal,”
said I, “come along now!”
When he heard me, he came well
enough; but I could not help but feel from his manner that he had
made a great concession.
“And so they would be taking me
for the King of Ireland, and, sure, ‘tis an advantage to be thought
a king whatever, and if your honour would be easy ‘tis you and me
that would sleep in the finest beds in Bristol the night, and
nothing to do but take the drink as it was handed and—I’ll say no
more.”
A rabble followed us on our way
to the inn, but I turned on them so fiercely from time to time that
ultimately they ran off. We made direct for my chamber, where I
ordered food and drink immediately to be served. Once alone there
with Paddy I allowed my joy to take hold on me. “Eh, Paddy, my
boy,” said I, walking before him, “I have done grand. I am, indeed,
one of the finest gentlemen in the world.”
“Aye, that’s true,” he answered,
“but there was a man at your back throughout who—”
To his extreme astonishment I
buffeted him heavily upon the cheek. “And we’ll have no more of
that talk,” said I.
CHAPTER III
Aye!” said Paddy, holding his
jowl; “‘tis what one gets for serving a gentleman. ‘Tis the service
of a good truthful blackguard I’d be looking for, and that’s true
for me.”
“Be quiet and mind what I tell
you,” I cried to him. “I’m uplifted with my success in England, and
I won’t be hearing anything from you while I am saying that I am
one of the grandest gentlemen in all the world. I came over here
with papers—papers!” said I; and then I bethought me that I would
take the papers and wave them in my hand. I don’t know why people
wish to wave important documents in their hands, but the impulse
came to me. Above all things I wished to take these papers and wave
them defiantly, exultantly, in the air. They were my inheritance
and my land of promise; they were everything. I must wave them even
to the chamber, empty save for Paddy.
When I reached for them in the
proper place in my luggage they were gone. I wheeled like a tiger
upon Paddy.
“Villain,” I roared, grasping him
at the throat, “you have them!”
He sank in full surrender to his
knees.
“I have, your honour,” he wailed;
“but, sure, I never thought your honour would care, since one of
them is badly worn at the heel, and the other is no better than no
boot at all.”
I was cooled by the incontestable
verity of this man. I sat heavily down in a chair by the
fire.
“Aye,” said I stupidly, “the
boots! I did not mean the boots, although when you took them passes
my sense of time. I mean some papers.”
“Some papers!” cried he
excitedly. “Your honour never thought it would be me that would
steal papers? Nothing less than good cows would do my people, and a
bit of turf now and then, but papers—”
“Peace!” said I sombrely, and
began to search my luggage thoroughly for my missing inheritance.
But it was all to no purpose. The papers were not there. I could
not have lost them. They had been stolen. I saw my always-flimsy
inheritance
melt away. I had been, I thought,
on the edge of success, but I now had nothing but my name, a
successful duel, and a few pieces of gold. I was buried in
defeat.
Of a sudden a name shot through
my mind. The name of this black Forister was upon me violently and
yet with perfect sureness. It was he who had stolen the papers. I
knew it. I felt it in every bone. He had taken the papers.
I have since been told that it is
very common for people to be moved by these feelings of omen, which
are invariably correct in their particulars; but at the time I
thought it odd that I should be so certain that Forister had my
papers. However, I had no time to waste in thinking. I grasped my
pistols. “A black man—black as the devil,” cried I to Paddy. “Help
me catch a little black man.”
“Sure!” said Paddy, and we
sallied forth.
In a moment I was below and
crying to the landlord in as fine a fury as any noble:
“This villain Forister! And where
be he?”
The landlord looked at me with
bulging eyes. “Master Forister,” he stammered. “Aye—aye—he’s been
agone these many hours since your lordship kicked him. He took
horse, he did, for Bath, he did.”
“Horses!” I roared. “Horses for
two gentlemen!” And the stableyard, very respectful since my duel,
began to ring with cries. The landlord pleaded something about his
bill, and in my impatience I hurled to him all of my gold save one
piece. The horses came soon enough, and I leaped into the saddle
and was away to Bath after Forister. As I galloped out of the inn
yard I heard a tumult behind me, and, looking back, I saw three
hostlers lifting hard at Paddy to raise him into the saddle. He
gave a despairing cry when he perceived me leaving him at such
speed, but my heart was hardened to my work. I must catch
Forister.
It was a dark and angry morning.
The rain swept across my face, and the wind flourished my cloak.
The road, glistening steel and brown, was no better than an Irish
bog for hard
riding. Once I passed a chaise
with a flogging post-boy and steaming nags. Once I overtook a
farmer jogging somewhere on a fat mare. Otherwise I saw no
travellers.
I was near my journey’s end when
I came to a portion of the road which dipped down a steep hill. At
the foot of this hill was an oak-tree, and under this tree was a
man masked and mounted, and in his hand was a levelled
pistol.
“Stand!” he said. “Stand!”
I knew his meaning, but when a
man has lost a documentary fortune and given an innkeeper all but
his last guinea, he is sure to be filled with fury at the
appearance of a third and completing misfortune. With a loud shout
I drew my pistol and rode like a demon at the highwayman. He fired,
but his bullet struck nothing but the flying tails of my cloak. As
my horse crashed into him I struck at his pate with my pistol. An
instant later we both came a mighty downfall, and when I could get
my eyes free of stars I arose and drew my sword. The highwayman sat
before me on the ground, ruefully handling his skull. Our two
horses were scampering away into the mist.
I placed my point at the
highwayman’s throat.
“So, my fine fellow,” cried I
grandly, “you rob well. You are the principal knight of the road of
all England, I would dare say, by the way in which an empty pistol
overcomes you.”
He was still ruefully handling
his skull.