This is the story of what
a Woman's patience can endure, and what a Man's resolution can
achieve.
If the machinery of the Law could be depended on to fathom
every case of suspicion, and to conduct every process of inquiry,
with moderate assistance only from the lubricating influences of
oil of gold, the events which fill these pages might have claimed
their share of the public attention in a Court of Justice.
But the Law is still, in certain inevitable cases, the
pre-engaged servant of the long purse; and the story is left to be
told, for the first time, in this place. As the Judge might once
have heard it, so the Reader shall hear it now. No circumstance of
importance, from the beginning to the end of the disclosure, shall
be related on hearsay evidence. When the writer of these
introductory lines (Walter Hartright by name) happens to be more
closely connected than others with the incidents to be recorded, he
will describe them in his own person. When his experience fails, he
will retire from the position of narrator; and his task will be
continued, from the point at which he has left it off, by other
persons who can speak to the circumstances under notice from their
own knowledge, just as clearly and positively as he has spoken
before them.
Thus, the story here presented will be told by more than one
pen, as the story of an offence against the laws is told in Court
by more than one witness—with the same object, in both cases, to
present the truth always in its most direct and most intelligible
aspect; and to trace the course of one complete series of events,
by making the persons who have been most closely connected with
them, at each successive stage, relate their own experience, word
for word.
Let Walter Hartright, teacher of drawing, aged twenty-eight
years, be heard first.
II
It was the last day of July. The long hot summer was drawing
to a close; and we, the weary pilgrims of the London pavement, were
beginning to think of the cloud-shadows on the corn-fields, and the
autumn breezes on the sea-shore.
For my own poor part, the fading summer left me out of health,
out of spirits, and, if the truth must be told, out of money as
well. During the past year I had not managed my professional
resources as carefully as usual; and my extravagance now limited me
to the prospect of spending the autumn economically between my
mother's cottage at Hampstead and my own chambers in town.
The evening, I remember, was still and cloudy; the London air
was at its heaviest; the distant hum of the street-traffic was at
its faintest; the small pulse of the life within me, and the great
heart of the city around me, seemed to be sinking in unison,
languidly and more languidly, with the sinking sun. I roused myself
from the book which I was dreaming over rather than reading, and
left my chambers to meet the cool night air in the suburbs. It was
one of the two evenings in every week which I was accustomed to
spend with my mother and my sister. So I turned my steps northward
in the direction of Hampstead.
Events which I have yet to relate make it necessary to mention
in this place that my father had been dead some years at the period
of which I am now writing; and that my sister Sarah and I were the
sole survivors of a family of five children. My father was a
drawing-master before me. His exertions had made him highly
successful in his profession; and his affectionate anxiety to
provide for the future of those who were dependent on his labours
had impelled him, from the time of his marriage, to devote to the
insuring of his life a much larger portion of his income than most
men consider it necessary to set aside for that purpose. Thanks to
his admirable prudence and self-denial my mother and sister were
left, after his death, as independent of the world as they had been
during his lifetime. I succeeded to his connection, and had every
reason to feel grateful for the prospect that awaited me at my
starting in life.
The quiet twilight was still trembling on the topmost ridges
of the heath; and the view of London below me had sunk into a black
gulf in the shadow of the cloudy night, when I stood before the
gate of my mother's cottage. I had hardly rung the bell before the
house door was opened violently; my worthy Italian friend,
Professor Pesca, appeared in the servant's place; and darted out
joyously to receive me, with a shrill foreign parody on an English
cheer.
On his own account, and, I must be allowed to add, on mine
also, the Professor merits the honour of a formal introduction.
Accident has made him the starting-point of the strange family
story which it is the purpose of these pages to unfold.
I had first become acquainted with my Italian friend by
meeting him at certain great houses where he taught his own
language and I taught drawing. All I then knew of the history of
his life was, that he had once held a situation in the University
of Padua; that he had left Italy for political reasons (the nature
of which he uniformly declined to mention to any one); and that he
had been for many years respectably established in London as a
teacher of languages.
Without being actually a dwarf—for he was perfectly well
proportioned from head to foot—Pesca was, I think, the smallest
human being I ever saw out of a show-room. Remarkable anywhere, by
his personal appearance, he was still further distinguished among
the rank and file of mankind by the harmless eccentricity of his
character. The ruling idea of his life appeared to be, that he was
bound to show his gratitude to the country which had afforded him
an asylum and a means of subsistence by doing his utmost to turn
himself into an Englishman. Not content with paying the nation in
general the compliment of invariably carrying an umbrella, and
invariably wearing gaiters and a white hat, the Professor further
aspired to become an Englishman in his habits and amusements, as
well as in his personal appearance. Finding us distinguished, as a
nation, by our love of athletic exercises, the little man, in the
innocence of his heart, devoted himself impromptu to all our
English sports and pastimes whenever he had the opportunity of
joining them; firmly persuaded that he could adopt our national
amusements of the field by an effort of will precisely as he had
adopted our national gaiters and our national white hat.
I had seen him risk his limbs blindly at a fox-hunt and in a
cricket-field; and soon afterwards I saw him risk his life, just as
blindly, in the sea at Brighton.
We had met there accidentally, and were bathing together. If
we had been engaged in any exercise peculiar to my own nation I
should, of course, have looked after Pesca carefully; but as
foreigners are generally quite as well able to take care of
themselves in the water as Englishmen, it never occurred to me that
the art of swimming might merely add one more to the list of manly
exercises which the Professor believed that he could learn
impromptu. Soon after we had both struck out from shore, I stopped,
finding my friend did not gain on me, and turned round to look for
him. To my horror and amazement, I saw nothing between me and the
beach but two little white arms which struggled for an instant
above the surface of the water, and then disappeared from view.
When I dived for him, the poor little man was lying quietly coiled
up at the bottom, in a hollow of shingle, looking by many degrees
smaller than I had ever seen him look before. During the few
minutes that elapsed while I was taking him in, the air revived
him, and he ascended the steps of the machine with my assistance.
With the partial recovery of his animation came the return of his
wonderful delusion on the subject of swimming. As soon as his
chattering teeth would let him speak, he smiled vacantly, and said
he thought it must have been the Cramp.
When he had thoroughly recovered himself, and had joined me on
the beach, his warm Southern nature broke through all artificial
English restraints in a moment. He overwhelmed me with the wildest
expressions of affection—exclaimed passionately, in his exaggerated
Italian way, that he would hold his life henceforth at my
disposal—and declared that he should never be happy again until he
had found an opportunity of proving his gratitude by rendering me
some service which I might remember, on my side, to the end of my
days.
I did my best to stop the torrent of his tears and
protestations by persisting in treating the whole adventure as a
good subject for a joke; and succeeded at last, as I imagined, in
lessening Pesca's overwhelming sense of obligation to me. Little
did I think then—little did I think afterwards when our pleasant
holiday had drawn to an end—that the opportunity of serving me for
which my grateful companion so ardently longed was soon to come;
that he was eagerly to seize it on the instant; and that by so
doing he was to turn the whole current of my existence into a new
channel, and to alter me to myself almost past recognition.
Yet so it was. If I had not dived for Professor Pesca when he
lay under water on his shingle bed, I should in all human
probability never have been connected with the story which these
pages will relate—I should never, perhaps, have heard even the name
of the woman who has lived in all my thoughts, who has possessed
herself of all my energies, who has become the one guiding
influence that now directs the purpose of my life.
III
Pesca's face and manner, on the evening when we confronted
each other at my mother's gate, were more than sufficient to inform
me that something extraordinary had happened. It was quite useless,
however, to ask him for an immediate explanation. I could only
conjecture, while he was dragging me in by both hands, that
(knowing my habits) he had come to the cottage to make sure of
meeting me that night, and that he had some news to tell of an
unusually agreeable kind.
We both bounced into the parlour in a highly abrupt and
undignified manner. My mother sat by the open window laughing and
fanning herself. Pesca was one of her especial favourites and his
wildest eccentricities were always pardonable in her eyes. Poor
dear soul! from the first moment when she found out that the little
Professor was deeply and gratefully attached to her son, she opened
her heart to him unreservedly, and took all his puzzling foreign
peculiarities for granted, without so much as attempting to
understand any one of them.
My sister Sarah, with all the advantages of youth, was,
strangely enough, less pliable. She did full justice to Pesca's
excellent qualities of heart; but she could not accept him
implicitly, as my mother accepted him, for my sake. Her insular
notions of propriety rose in perpetual revolt against Pesca's
constitutional contempt for appearances; and she was always more or
less undisguisedly astonished at her mother's familiarity with the
eccentric little foreigner. I have observed, not only in my
sister's case, but in the instances of others, that we of the young
generation are nothing like so hearty and so impulsive as some of
our elders. I constantly see old people flushed and excited by the
prospect of some anticipated pleasure which altogether fails to
ruffle the tranquillity of their serene grandchildren. Are we, I
wonder, quite such genuine boys and girls now as our seniors were
in their time? Has the great advance in education taken rather too
long a stride; and are we in these modern days, just the least
trifle in the world too well brought up?
Without attempting to answer those questions decisively, I may
at least record that I never saw my mother and my sister together
in Pesca's society, without finding my mother much the younger
woman of the two. On this occasion, for example, while the old lady
was laughing heartily over the boyish manner in which we tumbled
into the parlour, Sarah was perturbedly picking up the broken
pieces of a teacup, which the Professor had knocked off the table
in his precipitate advance to meet me at the door.
"I don't know what would have happened, Walter," said my
mother, "if you had delayed much longer. Pesca has been half mad
with impatience, and I have been half mad with curiosity. The
Professor has brought some wonderful news with him, in which he
says you are concerned; and he has cruelly refused to give us the
smallest hint of it till his friend Walter appeared."
"Very provoking: it spoils the Set," murmured Sarah to
herself, mournfully absorbed over the ruins of the broken
cup.
While these words were being spoken, Pesca, happily and
fussily unconscious of the irreparable wrong which the crockery had
suffered at his hands, was dragging a large arm-chair to the
opposite end of the room, so as to command us all three, in the
character of a public speaker addressing an audience. Having turned
the chair with its back towards us, he jumped into it on his knees,
and excitedly addressed his small congregation of three from an
impromptu pulpit.
"Now, my good dears," began Pesca (who always said "good
dears" when he meant "worthy friends"), "listen to me. The time has
come—I recite my good news—I speak at last."
"Hear, hear!" said my mother, humouring the joke.
"The next thing he will break, mamma," whispered Sarah, "will
be the back of the best arm-chair."
"I go back into my life, and I address myself to the noblest
of created beings," continued Pesca, vehemently apostrophising my
unworthy self over the top rail of the chair. "Who found me dead at
the bottom of the sea (through Cramp); and who pulled me up to the
top; and what did I say when I got into my own life and my own
clothes again?"
"Much more than was at all necessary," I answered as doggedly
as possible; for the least encouragement in connection with this
subject invariably let loose the Professor's emotions in a flood of
tears.
"I said," persisted Pesca, "that my life belonged to my dear
friend, Walter, for the rest of my days—and so it does. I said that
I should never be happy again till I had found the opportunity of
doing a good Something for Walter—and I have never been contented
with myself till this most blessed day. Now," cried the
enthusiastic little man at the top of his voice, "the overflowing
happiness bursts out of me at every pore of my skin, like a
perspiration; for on my faith, and soul, and honour, the something
is done at last, and the only word to say now
is—Right-all-right!"
It may be necessary to explain here that Pesca prided himself
on being a perfect Englishman in his language, as well as in his
dress, manners, and amusements. Having picked up a few of our most
familiar colloquial expressions, he scattered them about over his
conversation whenever they happened to occur to him, turning them,
in his high relish for their sound and his general ignorance of
their sense, into compound words and repetitions of his own, and
always running them into each other, as if they consisted of one
long syllable.
"Among the fine London Houses where I teach the language of my
native country," said the Professor, rushing into his long-deferred
explanation without another word of preface, "there is one, mighty
fine, in the big place called Portland. You all know where that is?
Yes, yes—course-of-course. The fine house, my good dears, has got
inside it a fine family. A Mamma, fair and fat; three young Misses,
fair and fat; two young Misters, fair and fat; and a Papa, the
fairest and the fattest of all, who is a mighty merchant, up to his
eyes in gold—a fine man once, but seeing that he has got a naked
head and two chins, fine no longer at the present time. Now mind! I
teach the sublime Dante to the young Misses, and
ah!—my-soul-bless-my-soul!—it is not in human language to say how
the sublime Dante puzzles the pretty heads of all three! No
matter—all in good time—and the more lessons the better for me. Now
mind! Imagine to yourselves that I am teaching the young Misses
to-day, as usual. We are all four of us down together in the Hell
of Dante. At the Seventh Circle—but no matter for that: all the
Circles are alike to the three young Misses, fair and fat,—at the
Seventh Circle, nevertheless, my pupils are sticking fast; and I,
to set them going again, recite, explain, and blow myself up
red-hot with useless enthusiasm, when—a creak of boots in the
passage outside, and in comes the golden Papa, the mighty merchant
with the naked head and the two chins.—Ha! my good dears, I am
closer than you think for to the business, now. Have you been
patient so far? or have you said to yourselves,
'Deuce-what-the-deuce! Pesca is long-winded to-night?'"
We declared that we were deeply interested. The Professor went
on:
"In his hand, the golden Papa has a letter; and after he has
made his excuse for disturbing us in our Infernal Region with the
common mortal Business of the house, he addresses himself to the
three young Misses, and begins, as you English begin everything in
this blessed world that you have to say, with a great O. 'O, my
dears,' says the mighty merchant, 'I have got here a letter from my
friend, Mr.——'(the name has slipped out of my mind; but no matter;
we shall come back to that; yes, yes—right-all-right). So the Papa
says, 'I have got a letter from my friend, the Mister; and he wants
a recommend from me, of a drawing-master, to go down to his house
in the country.' My-soul-bless-my-soul! when I heard the golden
Papa say those words, if I had been big enough to reach up to him,
I should have put my arms round his neck, and pressed him to my
bosom in a long and grateful hug! As it was, I only bounced upon my
chair. My seat was on thorns, and my soul was on fire to speak but
I held my tongue, and let Papa go on. 'Perhaps you know,' says this
good man of money, twiddling his friend's letter this way and that,
in his golden fingers and thumbs, 'perhaps you know, my dears, of a
drawing-master that I can recommend?' The three young Misses all
look at each other, and then say (with the indispensable great O to
begin) "O, dear no, Papa! But here is Mr. Pesca' At the mention of
myself I can hold no longer—the thought of you, my good dears,
mounts like blood to my head—I start from my seat, as if a spike
had grown up from the ground through the bottom of my chair—I
address myself to the mighty merchant, and I say (English phrase)
'Dear sir, I have the man! The first and foremost drawing-master of
the world! Recommend him by the post to-night, and send him off,
bag and baggage (English phrase again—ha!), send him off, bag and
baggage, by the train to-morrow!' 'Stop, stop,' says Papa; 'is he a
foreigner, or an Englishman?' 'English to the bone of his back,' I
answer. 'Respectable?' says Papa. 'Sir,' I say (for this last
question of his outrages me, and I have done being familiar with
him—) 'Sir! the immortal fire of genius burns in this Englishman's
bosom, and, what is more, his father had it before him!' 'Never
mind,' says the golden barbarian of a Papa, 'never mind about his
genius, Mr. Pesca. We don't want genius in this country, unless it
is accompanied by respectability—and then we are very glad to have
it, very glad indeed. Can your friend produce testimonials—letters
that speak to his character?' I wave my hand negligently.
'Letters?' I say. 'Ha! my-soul-bless-my-soul! I should think so,
indeed! Volumes of letters and portfolios of testimonials, if you
like!' 'One or two will do,' says this man of phlegm and money.
'Let him send them to me, with his name and address. And—stop,
stop, Mr. Pesca—before you go to your friend, you had better take a
note.' 'Bank-note!' I say, indignantly. 'No bank-note, if you
please, till my brave Englishman has earned it first.' 'Bank-note!'
says Papa, in a great surprise, 'who talked of bank-note? I mean a
note of the terms—a memorandum of what he is expected to do. Go on
with your lesson, Mr. Pesca, and I will give you the necessary
extract from my friend's letter.' Down sits the man of merchandise
and money to his pen, ink, and paper; and down I go once again into
the Hell of Dante, with my three young Misses after me. In ten
minutes' time the note is written, and the boots of Papa are
creaking themselves away in the passage outside. From that moment,
on my faith, and soul, and honour, I know nothing more! The
glorious thought that I have caught my opportunity at last, and
that my grateful service for my dearest friend in the world is as
good as done already, flies up into my head and makes me drunk. How
I pull my young Misses and myself out of our Infernal Region again,
how my other business is done afterwards, how my little bit of
dinner slides itself down my throat, I know no more than a man in
the moon. Enough for me, that here I am, with the mighty merchant's
note in my hand, as large as life, as hot as fire, and as happy as
a king! Ha! ha! ha! right-right-right-all-right!" Here the
Professor waved the memorandum of terms over his head, and ended
his long and voluble narrative with his shrill Italian parody on an
English cheer."
My mother rose the moment he had done, with flushed cheeks and
brightened eyes. She caught the little man warmly by both
hands.
"My dear, good Pesca," she said, "I never doubted your true
affection for Walter—but I am more than ever persuaded of it
now!"
"I am sure we are very much obliged to Professor Pesca, for
Walter's sake," added Sarah. She half rose, while she spoke, as if
to approach the arm-chair, in her turn; but, observing that Pesca
was rapturously kissing my mother's hands, looked serious, and
resumed her seat. "If the familiar little man treats my mother in
that way, how will he treat me?" Faces sometimes tell truth; and
that was unquestionably the thought in Sarah's mind, as she sat
down again.
Although I myself was gratefully sensible of the kindness of
Pesca's motives, my spirits were hardly so much elevated as they
ought to have been by the prospect of future employment now placed
before me. When the Professor had quite done with my mother's hand,
and when I had warmly thanked him for his interference on my
behalf, I asked to be allowed to look at the note of terms which
his respectable patron had drawn up for my inspection.
Pesca handed me the paper, with a triumphant flourish of the
hand.
"Read!" said the little man majestically. "I promise you my
friend, the writing of the golden Papa speaks with a tongue of
trumpets for itself."
The note of terms was plain, straightforward, and
comprehensive, at any rate. It informed me,
First, That Frederick Fairlie, Esquire, of Limmeridge House.
Cumberland, wanted to engage the services of a thoroughly competent
drawing-master, for a period of four months certain.
Secondly, That the duties which the master was expected to
perform would be of a twofold kind. He was to superintend the
instruction of two young ladies in the art of painting in
water-colours; and he was to devote his leisure time, afterwards,
to the business of repairing and mounting a valuable collection of
drawings, which had been suffered to fall into a condition of total
neglect.
Thirdly, That the terms offered to the person who should
undertake and properly perform these duties were four guineas a
week; that he was to reside at Limmeridge House; and that he was to
be treated there on the footing of a gentleman.
Fourthly, and lastly, That no person need think of applying
for this situation unless he could furnish the most unexceptionable
references to character and abilities. The references were to be
sent to Mr. Fairlie's friend in London, who was empowered to
conclude all necessary arrangements. These instructions were
followed by the name and address of Pesca's employer in Portland
Place—and there the note, or memorandum, ended.
The prospect which this offer of an engagement held out was
certainly an attractive one. The employment was likely to be both
easy and agreeable; it was proposed to me at the autumn time of the
year when I was least occupied; and the terms, judging by my
personal experience in my profession, were surprisingly liberal. I
knew this; I knew that I ought to consider myself very fortunate if
I succeeded in securing the offered employment—and yet, no sooner
had I read the memorandum than I felt an inexplicable unwillingness
within me to stir in the matter. I had never in the whole of my
previous experience found my duty and my inclination so painfully
and so unaccountably at variance as I found them now.
"Oh, Walter, your father never had such a chance as this!"
said my mother, when she had read the note of terms and had handed
it back to me.
"Such distinguished people to know," remarked Sarah,
straightening herself in the chair; "and on such gratifying terms
of equality too!"
"Yes, yes; the terms, in every sense, are tempting enough," I
replied impatiently. "But before I send in my testimonials, I
should like a little time to consider——"
"Consider!" exclaimed my mother. "Why, Walter, what is the
matter with you?"
"Consider!" echoed my sister. "What a very extraordinary thing
to say, under the circumstances!"
"Consider!" chimed in the Professor. "What is there to
consider about? Answer me this! Have you not been complaining of
your health, and have you not been longing for what you call a
smack of the country breeze? Well! there in your hand is the paper
that offers you perpetual choking mouthfuls of country breeze for
four months' time. Is it not so? Ha! Again—you want money. Well! Is
four golden guineas a week nothing? My-soul-bless-my-soul! only
give it to me—and my boots shall creak like the golden Papa's, with
a sense of the overpowering richness of the man who walks in them!
Four guineas a week, and, more than that, the charming society of
two young misses! and, more than that, your bed, your breakfast,
your dinner, your gorging English teas and lunches and drinks of
foaming beer, all for nothing—why, Walter, my dear good
friend—deuce-what-the-deuce!—for the first time in my life I have
not eyes enough in my head to look, and wonder at you!"
Neither my mother's evident astonishment at my behaviour, nor
Pesca's fervid enumeration of the advantages offered to me by the
new employment, had any effect in shaking my unreasonable
disinclination to go to Limmeridge House. After starting all the
petty objections that I could think of to going to Cumberland, and
after hearing them answered, one after another, to my own complete
discomfiture, I tried to set up a last obstacle by asking what was
to become of my pupils in London while I was teaching Mr. Fairlie's
young ladies to sketch from nature. The obvious answer to this was,
that the greater part of them would be away on their autumn
travels, and that the few who remained at home might be confided to
the care of one of my brother drawing-masters, whose pupils I had
once taken off his hands under similar circumstances. My sister
reminded me that this gentleman had expressly placed his services
at my disposal, during the present season, in case I wished to
leave town; my mother seriously appealed to me not to let an idle
caprice stand in the way of my own interests and my own health; and
Pesca piteously entreated that I would not wound him to the heart
by rejecting the first grateful offer of service that he had been
able to make to the friend who had saved his life.
The evident sincerity and affection which inspired these
remonstrances would have influenced any man with an atom of good
feeling in his composition. Though I could not conquer my own
unaccountable perversity, I had at least virtue enough to be
heartily ashamed of it, and to end the discussion pleasantly by
giving way, and promising to do all that was wanted of me.
The rest of the evening passed merrily enough in humorous
anticipations of my coming life with the two young ladies in
Cumberland. Pesca, inspired by our national grog, which appeared to
get into his head, in the most marvellous manner, five minutes
after it had gone down his throat, asserted his claims to be
considered a complete Englishman by making a series of speeches in
rapid succession, proposing my mother's health, my sister's health,
my health, and the healths, in mass, of Mr. Fairlie and the two
young Misses, pathetically returning thanks himself, immediately
afterwards, for the whole party. "A secret, Walter," said my little
friend confidentially, as we walked home together. "I am flushed by
the recollection of my own eloquence. My soul bursts itself with
ambition. One of these days I go into your noble Parliament. It is
the dream of my whole life to be Honourable Pesca, M.P.!"
The next morning I sent my testimonials to the Professor's
employer in Portland Place. Three days passed, and I concluded,
with secret satisfaction, that my papers had not been found
sufficiently explicit. On the fourth day, however, an answer came.
It announced that Mr. Fairlie accepted my services, and requested
me to start for Cumberland immediately. All the necessary
instructions for my journey were carefully and clearly added in a
postscript.
I made my arrangements, unwillingly enough, for leaving London
early the next day. Towards evening Pesca looked in, on his way to
a dinner-party, to bid me good-bye.
"I shall dry my tears in your absence," said the Professor
gaily, "with this glorious thought. It is my auspicious hand that
has given the first push to your fortune in the world. Go, my
friend! When your sun shines in Cumberland (English proverb), in
the name of heaven make your hay. Marry one of the two young
Misses; become Honourable Hartright, M.P.; and when you are on the
top of the ladder remember that Pesca, at the bottom, has done it
all!"
I tried to laugh with my little friend over his parting jest,
but my spirits were not to be commanded. Something jarred in me
almost painfully while he was speaking his light farewell
words.
When I was left alone again nothing remained to be done but to
walk to the Hampstead cottage and bid my mother and Sarah
good-bye.
IV
The heat had been painfully oppressive all day, and it was now
a close and sultry night.
My mother and sister had spoken so many last words, and had
begged me to wait another five minutes so many times, that it was
nearly midnight when the servant locked the garden-gate behind me.
I walked forward a few paces on the shortest way back to London,
then stopped and hesitated.
The moon was full and broad in the dark blue starless sky, and
the broken ground of the heath looked wild enough in the mysterious
light to be hundreds of miles away from the great city that lay
beneath it. The idea of descending any sooner than I could help
into the heat and gloom of London repelled me. The prospect of
going to bed in my airless chambers, and the prospect of gradual
suffocation, seemed, in my present restless frame of mind and body,
to be one and the same thing. I determined to stroll home in the
purer air by the most roundabout way I could take; to follow the
white winding paths across the lonely heath; and to approach London
through its most open suburb by striking into the Finchley Road,
and so getting back, in the cool of the new morning, by the western
side of the Regent's Park.
I wound my way down slowly over the heath, enjoying the divine
stillness of the scene, and admiring the soft alternations of light
and shade as they followed each other over the broken ground on
every side of me. So long as I was proceeding through this first
and prettiest part of my night walk my mind remained passively open
to the impressions produced by the view; and I thought but little
on any subject—indeed, so far as my own sensations were concerned,
I can hardly say that I thought at all.
But when I had left the heath and had turned into the by-road,
where there was less to see, the ideas naturally engendered by the
approaching change in my habits and occupations gradually drew more
and more of my attention exclusively to themselves. By the time I
had arrived at the end of the road I had become completely absorbed
in my own fanciful visions of Limmeridge House, of Mr. Fairlie, and
of the two ladies whose practice in the art of water-colour
painting I was so soon to superintend.
I had now arrived at that particular point of my walk where
four roads met—the road to Hampstead, along which I had returned,
the road to Finchley, the road to West End, and the road back to
London. I had mechanically turned in this latter direction, and was
strolling along the lonely high-road—idly wondering, I remember,
what the Cumberland young ladies would look like—when, in one
moment, every drop of blood in my body was brought to a stop by the
touch of a hand laid lightly and suddenly on my shoulder from
behind me.
I turned on the instant, with my fingers tightening round the
handle of my stick.
There, in the middle of the broad bright high-road—there, as
if it had that moment sprung out of the earth or dropped from the
heaven—stood the figure of a solitary Woman, dressed from head to
foot in white garments, her face bent in grave inquiry on mine, her
hand pointing to the dark cloud over London, as I faced her.
I was far too seriously startled by the suddenness with which
this extraordinary apparition stood before me, in the dead of night
and in that lonely place, to ask what she wanted. The strange woman
spoke first.
"Is that the road to London?" she said.
I looked attentively at her, as she put that singular question
to me. It was then nearly one o'clock. All I could discern
distinctly by the moonlight was a colourless, youthful face, meagre
and sharp to look at about the cheeks and chin; large, grave,
wistfully attentive eyes; nervous, uncertain lips; and light hair
of a pale, brownish-yellow hue. There was nothing wild, nothing
immodest in her manner: it was quiet and self-controlled, a little
melancholy and a little touched by suspicion; not exactly the
manner of a lady, and, at the same time, not the manner of a woman
in the humblest rank of life. The voice, little as I had yet heard
of it, had something curiously still and mechanical in its tones,
and the utterance was remarkably rapid. She held a small bag in her
hand: and her dress—bonnet, shawl, and gown all of white—was, so
far as I could guess, certainly not composed of very delicate or
very expensive materials. Her figure was slight, and rather above
the average height—her gait and actions free from the slightest
approach to extravagance. This was all that I could observe of her
in the dim light and under the perplexingly strange circumstances
of our meeting. What sort of a woman she was, and how she came to
be out alone in the high-road, an hour after midnight, I altogether
failed to guess. The one thing of which I felt certain was, that
the grossest of mankind could not have misconstrued her motive in
speaking, even at that suspiciously late hour and in that
suspiciously lonely place.
"Did you hear me?" she said, still quietly and rapidly, and
without the least fretfulness or impatience. "I asked if that was
the way to London."
"Yes," I replied, "that is the way: it leads to St. John's
Wood and the Regent's Park. You must excuse my not answering you
before. I was rather startled by your sudden appearance in the
road; and I am, even now, quite unable to account for it."
"You don't suspect me of doing anything wrong, do you? I have
done nothing wrong. I have met with an accident—I am very
unfortunate in being here alone so late. Why do you suspect me of
doing wrong?"
She spoke with unnecessary earnestness and agitation, and
shrank back from me several paces. I did my best to reassure
her.
"Pray don't suppose that I have any idea of suspecting you," I
said, "or any other wish than to be of assistance to you, if I can.
I only wondered at your appearance in the road, because it seemed
to me to be empty the instant before I saw you."
She turned, and pointed back to a place at the junction of the
road to London and the road to Hampstead, where there was a gap in
the hedge.
"I heard you coming," she said, "and hid there to see what
sort of man you were, before I risked speaking. I doubted and
feared about it till you passed; and then I was obliged to steal
after you, and touch you."
Steal after me and touch me? Why not call to me? Strange, to
say the least of it.
"May I trust you?" she asked. "You don't think the worse of me
because I have met with an accident?" She stopped in confusion;
shifted her bag from one hand to the other; and sighed
bitterly.
The loneliness and helplessness of the woman touched me. The
natural impulse to assist her and to spare her got the better of
the judgment, the caution, the worldly tact, which an older, wiser,
and colder man might have summoned to help him in this strange
emergency.
"You may trust me for any harmless purpose," I said. "If it
troubles you to explain your strange situation to me, don't think
of returning to the subject again. I have no right to ask you for
any explanations. Tell me how I can help you; and if I can, I
will."
"You are very kind, and I am very, very thankful to have met
you." The first touch of womanly tenderness that I had heard from
her trembled in her voice as she said the words; but no tears
glistened in those large, wistfully attentive eyes of hers, which
were still fixed on me. "I have only been in London once before,"
she went on, more and more rapidly, "and I know nothing about that
side of it, yonder. Can I get a fly, or a carriage of any kind? Is
it too late? I don't know. If you could show me where to get a
fly—and if you will only promise not to interfere with me, and to
let me leave you, when and how I please—I have a friend in London
who will be glad to receive me—I want nothing else—will you
promise?"
She looked anxiously up and down the road; shifted her bag
again from one hand to the other; repeated the words, "Will you
promise?" and looked hard in my face, with a pleading fear and
confusion that it troubled me to see.
What could I do? Here was a stranger utterly and helplessly at
my mercy—and that stranger a forlorn woman. No house was near; no
one was passing whom I could consult; and no earthly right existed
on my part to give me a power of control over her, even if I had
known how to exercise it. I trace these lines, self-distrustfully,
with the shadows of after-events darkening the very paper I write
on; and still I say, what could I do?
What I did do, was to try and gain time by questioning her.
"Are you sure that your friend in London will receive you at such a
late hour as this?" I said.
"Quite sure. Only say you will let me leave you when and how I
please—only say you won't interfere with me. Will you
promise?"
As she repeated the words for the third time, she came close
to me and laid her hand, with a sudden gentle stealthiness, on my
bosom—a thin hand; a cold hand (when I removed it with mine) even
on that sultry night. Remember that I was young; remember that the
hand which touched me was a woman's.
"Will you promise?"
"Yes."
One word! The little familiar word that is on everybody's
lips, every hour in the day. Oh me! and I tremble, now, when I
write it.
We set our faces towards London, and walked on together in the
first still hour of the new day—I, and this woman, whose name,
whose character, whose story, whose objects in life, whose very
presence by my side, at that moment, were fathomless mysteries to
me. It was like a dream. Was I Walter Hartright? Was this the
well-known, uneventful road, where holiday people strolled on
Sundays? Had I really left, little more than an hour since, the
quiet, decent, conventionally domestic atmosphere of my mother's
cottage? I was too bewildered—too conscious also of a vague sense
of something like self-reproach—to speak to my strange companion
for some minutes. It was her voice again that first broke the
silence between us.
"I want to ask you something," she said suddenly. "Do you know
many people in London?"
"Yes, a great many."
"Many men of rank and title?" There was an unmistakable tone
of suspicion in the strange question. I hesitated about answering
it.
"Some," I said, after a moment's silence.
"Many"—she came to a full stop, and looked me searchingly in
the face—"many men of the rank of Baronet?"
Too much astonished to reply, I questioned her in my
turn.
"Why do you ask?"
"Because I hope, for my own sake, there is one Baronet that
you don't know."
"Will you tell me his name?"
"I can't—I daren't—I forget myself when I mention it." She
spoke loudly and almost fiercely, raised her clenched hand in the
air, and shook it passionately; then, on a sudden, controlled
herself again, and added, in tones lowered to a whisper "Tell me
which of them you know."
I could hardly refuse to humour her in such a trifle, and I
mentioned three names. Two, the names of fathers of families whose
daughters I taught; one, the name of a bachelor who had once taken
me a cruise in his yacht, to make sketches for him.
"Ah! you don't know him," she said, with a sigh of relief.
"Are you a man of rank and title yourself?"
"Far from it. I am only a drawing-master."
As the reply passed my lips—a little bitterly, perhaps—she
took my arm with the abruptness which characterised all her
actions.
"Not a man of rank and title," she repeated to herself. "Thank
God! I may trust him."
I had hitherto contrived to master my curiosity out of
consideration for my companion; but it got the better of me
now.
"I am afraid you have serious reason to complain of some man
of rank and title?" I said. "I am afraid the baronet, whose name
you are unwilling to mention to me, has done you some grievous
wrong? Is he the cause of your being out here at this strange time
of night?"
"Don't ask me: don't make me talk of it," she answered. "I'm
not fit now. I have been cruelly used and cruelly wronged. You will
be kinder than ever, if you will walk on fast, and not speak to me.
I sadly want to quiet myself, if I can."
We moved forward again at a quick pace; and for half an hour,
at least, not a word passed on either side. From time to time,
being forbidden to make any more inquiries, I stole a look at her
face. It was always the same; the lips close shut, the brow
frowning, the eyes looking straight forward, eagerly and yet
absently. We had reached the first houses, and were close on the
new Wesleyan college, before her set features relaxed and she spoke
once more.
"Do you live in London?" she said.
"Yes." As I answered, it struck me that she might have formed
some intention of appealing to me for assistance or advice, and
that I ought to spare her a possible disappointment by warning her
of my approaching absence from home. So I added, "But to-morrow I
shall be away from London for some time. I am going into the
country."
"Where?" she asked. "North or south?"
"North—to Cumberland."
"Cumberland!" she repeated the word tenderly. "Ah! wish I was
going there too. I was once happy in Cumberland."
I tried again to lift the veil that hung between this woman
and me.
"Perhaps you were born," I said, "in the beautiful Lake
country."
"No," she answered. "I was born in Hampshire; but I once went
to school for a little while in Cumberland. Lakes? I don't remember
any lakes. It's Limmeridge village, and Limmeridge House, I should
like to see again."
It was my turn now to stop suddenly. In the excited state of
my curiosity, at that moment, the chance reference to Mr. Fairlie's
place of residence, on the lips of my strange companion, staggered
me with astonishment.
"Did you hear anybody calling after us?" she asked, looking up
and down the road affrightedly, the instant I stopped.
"No, no. I was only struck by the name of Limmeridge House. I
heard it mentioned by some Cumberland people a few days
since."
"Ah! not my people. Mrs. Fairlie is dead; and her husband is
dead; and their little girl may be married and gone away by this
time. I can't say who lives at Limmeridge now. If any more are left
there of that name, I only know I love them for Mrs. Fairlie's
sake."
She seemed about to say more; but while she was speaking, we
came within view of the turnpike, at the top of the Avenue Road.
Her hand tightened round my arm, and she looked anxiously at the
gate before us.
"Is the turnpike man looking out?" she asked.
He was not looking out; no one else was near the place when we
passed through the gate. The sight of the gas-lamps and houses
seemed to agitate her, and to make her impatient.
"This is London," she said. "Do you see any carriage I can
get? I am tired and frightened. I want to shut myself in and be
driven away."
I explained to her that we must walk a little further to get
to a cab-stand, unless we were fortunate enough to meet with an
empty vehicle; and then tried to resume the subject of Cumberland.
It was useless. That idea of shutting herself in, and being driven
away, had now got full possession of her mind. She could think and
talk of nothing else.
We had hardly proceeded a third of the way down the Avenue
Road when I saw a cab draw up at a house a few doors below us, on
the opposite side of the way. A gentleman got out and let himself
in at the garden door. I hailed the cab, as the driver mounted the
box again. When we crossed the road, my companion's impatience
increased to such an extent that she almost forced me to run.
"It's so late," she said. "I am only in a hurry because it's
so late."
"I can't take you, sir, if you're not going towards Tottenham
Court Road," said the driver civilly, when I opened the cab door.
"My horse is dead beat, and I can't get him no further than the
stable."
"Yes, yes. That will do for me. I'm going that way—I'm going
that way." She spoke with breathless eagerness, and pressed by me
into the cab.
I had assured myself that the man was sober as well as civil
before I let her enter the vehicle. And now, when she was seated
inside, I entreated her to let me see her set down safely at her
destination.
"No, no, no," she said vehemently. "I'm quite safe, and quite
happy now. If you are a gentleman, remember your promise. Let him
drive on till I stop him. Thank you—oh! thank you, thank
you!"
My hand was on the cab door. She caught it in hers, kissed it,
and pushed it away. The cab drove off at the same moment—I started
into the road, with some vague idea of stopping it again, I hardly
knew why—hesitated from dread of frightening and distressing
her—called, at last, but not loudly enough to attract the driver's
attention. The sound of the wheels grew fainter in the distance—the
cab melted into the black shadows on the road—the woman in white
was gone.
Ten minutes or more had passed. I was still on the same side
of the way; now mechanically walking forward a few paces; now
stopping again absently. At one moment I found myself doubting the
reality of my own adventure; at another I was perplexed and
distressed by an uneasy sense of having done wrong, which yet left
me confusedly ignorant of how I could have done right. I hardly
knew where I was going, or what I meant to do next; I was conscious
of nothing but the confusion of my own thoughts, when I was
abruptly recalled to myself—awakened, I might almost say—by the
sound of rapidly approaching wheels close behind me.
I was on the dark side of the road, in the thick shadow of
some garden trees, when I stopped to look round. On the opposite
and lighter side of the way, a short distance below me, a policeman
was strolling along in the direction of the Regent's Park.
The carriage passed me—an open chaise driven by two men.
"Stop!" cried one. "There's a policeman. Let's ask him."
The horse was instantly pulled up, a few yards beyond the dark
place where I stood.
"Policeman!" cried the first speaker. "Have you seen a woman
pass this way?"
"What sort of woman, sir?"
"A woman in a lavender-coloured gown——"
"No, no," interposed the second man. "The clothes we gave her
were found on her bed. She must have gone away in the clothes she
wore when she came to us. In white, policeman. A woman in
white."
"I haven't seen her, sir."
"If you or any of your men meet with the woman, stop her, and
send her in careful keeping to that address. I'll pay all expenses,
and a fair reward into the bargain."
The policeman looked at the card that was handed down to
him.
"Why are we to stop her, sir? What has she done?"
"Done! She has escaped from my Asylum. Don't forget; a woman
in white. Drive on."
V
"She has escaped from my Asylum!"
I cannot say with truth that the terrible inference which
those words suggested flashed upon me like a new revelation. Some
of the strange questions put to me by the woman in white, after my
ill-considered promise to leave her free to act as she pleased, had
suggested the conclusion either that she was naturally flighty and
unsettled, or that some recent shock of terror had disturbed the
balance of her faculties. But the idea of absolute insanity which
we all associate with the very name of an Asylum, had, I can
honestly declare, never occurred to me, in connection with her. I
had seen nothing, in her language or her actions, to justify it at
the time; and even with the new light thrown on her by the words
which the stranger had addressed to the policeman, I could see
nothing to justify it now.
What had I done? Assisted the victim of the most horrible of
all false imprisonments to escape; or cast loose on the wide world
of London an unfortunate creature, whose actions it was my duty,
and every man's duty, mercifully to control? I turned sick at heart
when the question occurred to me, and when I felt
self-reproachfully that it was asked too late.
In the disturbed state of my mind, it was useless to think of
going to bed, when I at last got back to my chambers in Clement's
Inn. Before many hours elapsed it would be necessary to start on my
journey to Cumberland. I sat down and tried, first to sketch, then
to read—but the woman in white got between me and my pencil,
between me and my book. Had the forlorn creature come to any harm?
That was my first thought, though I shrank selfishly from
confronting it. Other thoughts followed, on which it was less
harrowing to dwell. Where had she stopped the cab? What had become
of her now? Had she been traced and captured by the men in the
chaise? Or was she still capable of controlling her own actions;
and were we two following our widely parted roads towards one point
in the mysterious future, at which we were to meet once more?
It was a relief when the hour came to lock my door, to bid
farewell to London pursuits, London pupils, and London friends, and
to be in movement again towards new interests and a new life. Even
the bustle and confusion at the railway terminus, so wearisome and
bewildering at other times, roused me and did me good.
My travelling instructions directed me to go to Carlisle, and
then to diverge by a branch railway which ran in the direction of
the coast. As a misfortune to begin with, our engine broke down
between Lancaster and Carlisle. The delay occasioned by this
accident caused me to be too late for the branch train, by which I
was to have gone on immediately. I had to wait some hours; and when
a later train finally deposited me at the nearest station to
Limmeridge House, it was past ten, and the night was so dark that I
could hardly see my way to the pony-chaise which Mr. Fairlie had
ordered to be in waiting for me.
The driver was evidently discomposed by the lateness of my
arrival. He was in that state of highly respectful sulkiness which
is peculiar to English servants. We drove away slowly through the
darkness in perfect silence. The roads were bad, and the dense
obscurity of the night increased the difficulty of getting over the
ground quickly. It was, by my watch, nearly an hour and a half from
the time of our leaving the station before I heard the sound of the
sea in the distance, and the crunch of our wheels on a smooth
gravel drive. We had passed one gate before entering the drive, and
we passed another before we drew up at the house. I was received by
a solemn man-servant out of livery, was informed that the family
had retired for the night, and was then led into a large and lofty
room where my supper was awaiting me, in a forlorn manner, at one
extremity of a lonesome mahogany wilderness of dining-table.
I was too tired and out of spirits to eat or drink much,
especially with the solemn servant waiting on me as elaborately as
if a small dinner party had arrived at the house instead of a
solitary man. In a quarter of an hour I was ready to be taken up to
my bedchamber. The solemn servant conducted me into a prettily
furnished room—said, "Breakfast at nine o'clock, sir"—looked all
round him to see that everything was in its proper place, and
noiselessly withdrew.
"What shall I see in my dreams to-night?" I thought to myself,
as I put out the candle; "the woman in white? or the unknown
inhabitants of this Cumberland mansion?" It was a strange sensation
to be sleeping in the house, like a friend of the family, and yet
not to know one of the inmates, even by sight!
VI
When I rose the next morning and drew up my blind, the sea
opened before me joyously under the broad August sunlight, and the
distant coast of Scotland fringed the horizon with its lines of
melting blue.
The view was such a surprise, and such a change to me, after
my weary London experience of brick and mortar landscape, that I
seemed to burst into a new life and a new set of thoughts the
moment I looked at it. A confused sensation of having suddenly lost
my familiarity with the past, without acquiring any additional
clearness of idea in reference to the present or the future, took
possession of my mind. Circumstances that were but a few days old
faded back in my memory, as if they had happened months and months
since. Pesca's quaint announcement of the means by which he had
procured me my present employment; the farewell evening I had
passed with my mother and sister; even my mysterious adventure on
the way home from Hampstead—had all become like events which might
have occurred at some former epoch of my existence. Although the
woman in white was still in my mind, the image of her seemed to
have grown dull and faint already.
A little before nine o'clock, I descended to the ground-floor
of the house. The solemn man-servant of the night before met me
wandering among the passages, and compassionately showed me the way
to the breakfast-room.
My first glance round me, as the man opened the door,
disclosed a well-furnished breakfast-table, standing in the middle
of a long room, with many windows in it. I looked from the table to
the window farthest from me, and saw a lady standing at it, with
her back turned towards me. The instant my eyes rested on her, I
was struck by the rare beauty of her form, and by the unaffected
grace of her attitude. Her figure was tall, yet not too tall;
comely and well-developed, yet not fat; her head set on her
shoulders with an easy, pliant firmness; her waist, perfection in
the eyes of a man, for it occupied its natural place, it filled out
its natural circle, it was visibly and delightfully undeformed by
stays. She had not heard my entrance into the room; and I allowed
myself the luxury of admiring her for a few moments, before I moved
one of the chairs near me, as the least embarrassing means of
attracting her attention. She turned towards me immediately. The
easy elegance of every movement of her limbs and body as soon as
she began to advance from the far end of the room, set me in a
flutter of expectation to see her face clearly. She left the
window—and I said to myself, The lady is dark. She moved forward a
few steps—and I said to myself, The lady is young. She approached
nearer—and I said to myself (with a sense of surprise which words
fail me to express), The lady is ugly!
Never was the old conventional maxim, that Nature cannot err,
more flatly contradicted—never was the fair promise of a lovely
figure more strangely and startlingly belied by the face and head
that crowned it. The lady's complexion was almost swarthy, and the
dark down on her upper lip was almost a moustache. She had a large,
firm, masculine mouth and jaw; prominent, piercing, resolute brown
eyes; and thick, coal-black hair, growing unusually low down on her
forehead. Her expression—bright, frank, and intelligent—appeared,
while she was silent, to be altogether wanting in those feminine
attractions of gentleness and pliability, without which the beauty
of the handsomest woman alive is beauty incomplete. To see such a
face as this set on shoulders that a sculptor would have longed to
model—to be charmed by the modest graces of action through which
the symmetrical limbs betrayed their beauty when they moved, and
then to be almost repelled by the masculine form and masculine look
of the features in which the perfectly shaped figure ended—was to
feel a sensation oddly akin to the helpless discomfort familiar to
us all in sleep, when we recognise yet cannot reconcile the
anomalies and contradictions of a dream.
"Mr. Hartright?" said the lady interrogatively, her dark face
lighting up with a smile, and softening and growing womanly the
moment she began to speak. "We resigned all hope of you last night,
and went to bed as usual. Accept my apologies for our apparent want
of attention; and allow me to introduce myself as one of your
pupils. Shall we shake hands? I suppose we must come to it sooner
or later—and why not sooner?"
These odd words of welcome were spoken in a clear, ringing,
pleasant voice. The offered hand—rather large, but beautifully
formed—was given to me with the easy, unaffected self-reliance of a
highly-bred woman. We sat down together at the breakfast-table in
as cordial and customary a manner as if we had known each other for
years, and had met at Limmeridge House to talk over old times by
previous appointment.
"I hope you come here good-humouredly determined to make the
best of your position," continued the lady. "You will have to begin
this morning by putting up with no other company at breakfast than
mine. My sister is in her own room, nursing that essentially
feminine malady, a slight headache; and her old governess, Mrs.
Vesey, is charitably attending on her with restorative tea. My
uncle, Mr. Fairlie, never joins us at any of our meals: he is an
invalid, and keeps bachelor state in his own apartments. There is
nobody else in the house but me. Two young ladies have been staying
here, but they went away yesterday, in despair; and no wonder. All
through their visit (in consequence of Mr. Fairlie's invalid
condition) we produced no such convenience in the house as a
flirtable, danceable, small-talkable creature of the male sex; and
the consequence was, we did nothing but quarrel, especially at
dinner-time. How can you expect four women to dine together alone
every day, and not quarrel? We are such fools, we can't entertain
each other at table. You see I don't think much of my own sex, Mr.
Hartright—which will you have, tea or coffee?—no woman does think
much of her own sex, although few of them confess it as freely as I
do. Dear me, you look puzzled. Why? Are you wondering what you will
have for breakfast? or are you surprised at my careless way of
talking? In the first case, I advise you, as a friend, to have
nothing to do with that cold ham at your elbow, and to wait till
the omelette comes in. In the second case, I will give you some tea
to compose your spirits, and do all a woman can (which is very
little, by-the-bye) to hold my tongue."
She handed me my cup of tea, laughing gaily. Her light flow of
talk, and her lively familiarity of manner with a total stranger,
were accompanied by an unaffected naturalness and an easy inborn
confidence in herself and her position, which would have secured
her the respect of the most audacious man breathing. While it was
impossible to be formal and reserved in her company, it was more
than impossible to take the faintest vestige of a liberty with her,
even in thought. I felt this instinctively, even while I caught the
infection of her own bright gaiety of spirits—even while I did my
best to answer her in her own frank, lively way.