I. AS TO HUMANNESS.
II. THE MAN-MADE FAMILY.
III. HEALTH AND BEAUTY.
IV. MEN AND ART.
V. MASCULINE LITERATURE.
VI. GAMES AND SPORTS
VII. ETHICS AND RELIGION.
VIII. EDUCATION.
IX. "SOCIETY" AND "FASHION"
X. LAW AND GOVERNMENT.
XI. CRIME AND PUNISHMENT.
XII. POLITICS AND WARFARE.
XIII. INDUSTRY AND ECONOMICS.
XIV. A HUMAN WORLD.
The Yellow Wallpaper
It is very seldom that mere ordinary people like John and
myself secure ancestral halls for the summer.A colonial mansion, a hereditary estate, I would say a
haunted house, and reach the height of romantic felicity—but that
would be asking too much of fate!Still I will proudly declare that there is something queer
about it.Else, why should it be let so cheaply? And why have stood so
long untenanted?John laughs at me, of course, but one expects that in
marriage.John is practical in the extreme. He has no patience with
faith, an intense horror of superstition, and he scoffs openly at
any talk of things not to be felt and seen and put down in
figures.John is a physician, and PERHAPS—(I would not say it to a
living soul, of course, but this is dead paper and a great relief
to my mind)—PERHAPS that is one reason I do not get well
faster.You see he does not believe I am sick!And what can one do?If a physician of high standing, and one's own husband,
assures friends and relatives that there is really nothing the
matter with one but temporary nervous depression—a slight
hysterical tendency—what is one to do?My brother is also a physician, and also of high standing,
and he says the same thing.So I take phosphates or phosphites—whichever it is, and
tonics, and journeys, and air, and exercise, and am absolutely
forbidden to "work" until I am well again.Personally, I disagree with their ideas.Personally, I believe that congenial work, with excitement
and change, would do me good.But what is one to do?I did write for a while in spite of them; but it DOES exhaust
me a good deal—having to be so sly about it, or else meet with
heavy opposition.I sometimes fancy that in my condition if I had less
opposition and more society and stimulus—but John says the very
worst thing I can do is to think about my condition, and I confess
it always makes me feel bad.So I will let it alone and talk about the house.The most beautiful place! It is quite alone, standing well
back from the road, quite three miles from the village. It makes me
think of English places that you read about, for there are hedges
and walls and gates that lock, and lots of separate little houses
for the gardeners and people.There is a DELICIOUS garden! I never saw such a garden—large
and shady, full of box-bordered paths, and lined with long
grape-covered arbors with seats under them.There were greenhouses, too, but they are all broken
now.There was some legal trouble, I believe, something about the
heirs and coheirs; anyhow, the place has been empty for
years.That spoils my ghostliness, I am afraid, but I don't
care—there is something strange about the house—I can feel
it.I even said so to John one moonlight evening, but he said
what I felt was a DRAUGHT, and shut the window.I get unreasonably angry with John sometimes. I'm sure I
never used to be so sensitive. I think it is due to this nervous
condition.But John says if I feel so, I shall neglect proper
self-control; so I take pains to control myself—before him, at
least, and that makes me very tired.I don't like our room a bit. I wanted one downstairs that
opened on the piazza and had roses all over the window, and such
pretty old-fashioned chintz hangings! but John would not hear of
it.He said there was only one window and not room for two beds,
and no near room for him if he took another.He is very careful and loving, and hardly lets me stir
without special direction.I have a schedule prescription for each hour in the day; he
takes all care from me, and so I feel basely ungrateful not to
value it more.He said we came here solely on my account, that I was to have
perfect rest and all the air I could get. "Your exercise depends on
your strength, my dear," said he, "and your food somewhat on your
appetite; but air you can absorb all the time." So we took the
nursery at the top of the house.It is a big, airy room, the whole floor nearly, with windows
that look all ways, and air and sunshine galore. It was nursery
first and then playroom and gymnasium, I should judge; for the
windows are barred for little children, and there are rings and
things in the walls.The paint and paper look as if a boys' school had used it. It
is stripped off—the paper—in great patches all around the head of
my bed, about as far as I can reach, and in a great place on the
other side of the room low down. I never saw a worse paper in my
life.One of those sprawling flamboyant patterns committing every
artistic sin.It is dull enough to confuse the eye in following, pronounced
enough to constantly irritate and provoke study, and when you
follow the lame uncertain curves for a little distance they
suddenly commit suicide—plunge off at outrageous angles, destroy
themselves in unheard of contradictions.The color is repellent, almost revolting; a smouldering
unclean yellow, strangely faded by the slow-turning
sunlight.It is a dull yet lurid orange in some places, a sickly
sulphur tint in others.No wonder the children hated it! I should hate it myself if I
had to live in this room long.There comes John, and I must put this away,—he hates to have
me write a word.We have been here two weeks, and I haven't felt like writing
before, since that first day.I am sitting by the window now, up in this atrocious nursery,
and there is nothing to hinder my writing as much as I please, save
lack of strength.John is away all day, and even some nights when his cases are
serious.I am glad my case is not serious!But these nervous troubles are dreadfully
depressing.John does not know how much I really suffer. He knows there
is no REASON to suffer, and that satisfies him.Of course it is only nervousness. It does weigh on me so not
to do my duty in any way!I meant to be such a help to John, such a real rest and
comfort, and here I am a comparative burden already!Nobody would believe what an effort it is to do what little I
am able,—to dress and entertain, and order things.It is fortunate Mary is so good with the baby. Such a dear
baby!And yet I CANNOT be with him, it makes me so
nervous.I suppose John never was nervous in his life. He laughs at me
so about this wall-paper!At first he meant to repaper the room, but afterwards he said
that I was letting it get the better of me, and that nothing was
worse for a nervous patient than to give way to such
fancies.He said that after the wall-paper was changed it would be the
heavy bedstead, and then the barred windows, and then that gate at
the head of the stairs, and so on."You know the place is doing you good," he said, "and really,
dear, I don't care to renovate the house just for a three months'
rental.""Then do let us go downstairs," I said, "there are such
pretty rooms there."Then he took me in his arms and called me a blessed little
goose, and said he would go down to the cellar, if I wished, and
have it whitewashed into the bargain.But he is right enough about the beds and windows and
things.It is an airy and comfortable room as any one need wish, and,
of course, I would not be so silly as to make him uncomfortable
just for a whim.I'm really getting quite fond of the big room, all but that
horrid paper.Out of one window I can see the garden, those mysterious
deepshaded arbors, the riotous old-fashioned flowers, and bushes
and gnarly trees.Out of another I get a lovely view of the bay and a little
private wharf belonging to the estate. There is a beautiful shaded
lane that runs down there from the house. I always fancy I see
people walking in these numerous paths and arbors, but John has
cautioned me not to give way to fancy in the least. He says that
with my imaginative power and habit of story-making, a nervous
weakness like mine is sure to lead to all manner of excited
fancies, and that I ought to use my will and good sense to check
the tendency. So I try.I think sometimes that if I were only well enough to write a
little it would relieve the press of ideas and rest me.But I find I get pretty tired when I try.It is so discouraging not to have any advice and
companionship about my work. When I get really well, John says we
will ask Cousin Henry and Julia down for a long visit; but he says
he would as soon put fireworks in my pillow-case as to let me have
those stimulating people about now.I wish I could get well faster.But I must not think about that. This paper looks to me as if
it KNEW what a vicious influence it had!There is a recurrent spot where the pattern lolls like a
broken neck and two bulbous eyes stare at you upside
down.I get positively angry with the impertinence of it and the
everlastingness. Up and down and sideways they crawl, and those
absurd, unblinking eyes are everywhere. There is one place where
two breadths didn't match, and the eyes go all up and down the
line, one a little higher than the other.I never saw so much expression in an inanimate thing before,
and we all know how much expression they have! I used to lie awake
as a child and get more entertainment and terror out of blank walls
and plain furniture than most children could find in a toy
store.I remember what a kindly wink the knobs of our big, old
bureau used to have, and there was one chair that always seemed
like a strong friend.I used to feel that if any of the other things looked too
fierce I could always hop into that chair and be safe.The furniture in this room is no worse than inharmonious,
however, for we had to bring it all from downstairs. I suppose when
this was used as a playroom they had to take the nursery things
out, and no wonder! I never saw such ravages as the children have
made here.The wall-paper, as I said before, is torn off in spots, and
it sticketh closer than a brother—they must have had perseverance
as well as hatred.Then the floor is scratched and gouged and splintered, the
plaster itself is dug out here and there, and this great heavy bed
which is all we found in the room, looks as if it had been through
the wars.But I don't mind it a bit—only the paper.There comes John's sister. Such a dear girl as she is, and so
careful of me! I must not let her find me writing.She is a perfect and enthusiastic housekeeper, and hopes for
no better profession. I verily believe she thinks it is the writing
which made me sick!But I can write when she is out, and see her a long way off
from these windows.There is one that commands the road, a lovely shaded winding
road, and one that just looks off over the country. A lovely
country, too, full of great elms and velvet meadows.This wall-paper has a kind of sub-pattern in a different
shade, a particularly irritating one, for you can only see it in
certain lights, and not clearly then.But in the places where it isn't faded and where the sun is
just so—I can see a strange, provoking, formless sort of figure,
that seems to skulk about behind that silly and conspicuous front
design.There's sister on the stairs!Well, the Fourth of July is over! The people are gone and I
am tired out. John thought it might do me good to see a little
company, so we just had mother and Nellie and the children down for
a week.Of course I didn't do a thing. Jennie sees to everything
now.But it tired me all the same.John says if I don't pick up faster he shall send me to Weir
Mitchell in the fall.But I don't want to go there at all. I had a friend who was
in his hands once, and she says he is just like John and my
brother, only more so!Besides, it is such an undertaking to go so far.I don't feel as if it was worth while to turn my hand over
for anything, and I'm getting dreadfully fretful and
querulous.I cry at nothing, and cry most of the time.Of course I don't when John is here, or anybody else, but
when I am alone.And I am alone a good deal just now. John is kept in town
very often by serious cases, and Jennie is good and lets me alone
when I want her to.So I walk a little in the garden or down that lovely lane,
sit on the porch under the roses, and lie down up here a good
deal.I'm getting really fond of the room in spite of the
wall-paper. Perhaps BECAUSE of the wall-paper.It dwells in my mind so!I lie here on this great immovable bed—it is nailed down, I
believe—and follow that pattern about by the hour. It is as good as
gymnastics, I assure you. I start, we'll say, at the bottom, down
in the corner over there where it has not been touched, and I
determine for the thousandth time that I WILL follow that pointless
pattern to some sort of a conclusion.I know a little of the principle of design, and I know this
thing was not arranged on any laws of radiation, or alternation, or
repetition, or symmetry, or anything else that I ever heard
of.It is repeated, of course, by the breadths, but not
otherwise.Looked at in one way each breadth stands alone, the bloated
curves and flourishes—a kind of "debased Romanesque" with delirium
tremens—go waddling up and down in isolated columns of
fatuity.But, on the other hand, they connect diagonally, and the
sprawling outlines run off in great slanting waves of optic horror,
like a lot of wallowing seaweeds in full chase.The whole thing goes horizontally, too, at least it seems so,
and I exhaust myself in trying to distinguish the order of its
going in that direction.They have used a horizontal breadth for a frieze, and that
adds wonderfully to the confusion.There is one end of the room where it is almost intact, and
there, when the crosslights fade and the low sun shines directly
upon it, I can almost fancy radiation after all,—the interminable
grotesques seem to form around a common centre and rush off in
headlong plunges of equal distraction.It makes me tired to follow it. I will take a nap I
guess.I don't know why I should write this.I don't want to.I don't feel able.And I know John would think it absurd. But I MUST say what I
feel and think in some way—it is such a relief!But the effort is getting to be greater than the
relief.Half the time now I am awfully lazy, and lie down ever so
much.John says I musn't lose my strength, and has me take cod
liver oil and lots of tonics and things, to say nothing of ale and
wine and rare meat.Dear John! He loves me very dearly, and hates to have me
sick. I tried to have a real earnest reasonable talk with him the
other day, and tell him how I wish he would let me go and make a
visit to Cousin Henry and Julia.But he said I wasn't able to go, nor able to stand it after I
got there; and I did not make out a very good case for myself, for
I was crying before I had finished.It is getting to be a great effort for me to think straight.
Just this nervous weakness I suppose.And dear John gathered me up in his arms, and just carried me
upstairs and laid me on the bed, and sat by me and read to me till
it tired my head.He said I was his darling and his comfort and all he had, and
that I must take care of myself for his sake, and keep
well.He says no one but myself can help me out of it, that I must
use my will and self-control and not let any silly fancies run away
with me.There's one comfort, the baby is well and happy, and does not
have to occupy this nursery with the horrid wall-paper.If we had not used it, that blessed child would have! What a
fortunate escape! Why, I wouldn't have a child of mine, an
impressionable little thing, live in such a room for
worlds.I never thought of it before, but it is lucky that John kept
me here after all, I can stand it so much easier than a baby, you
see.Of course I never mention it to them any more—I am too
wise,—but I keep watch of it all the same.There are things in that paper that nobody knows but me, or
ever will.Behind that outside pattern the dim shapes get clearer every
day.It is always the same shape, only very numerous.And it is like a woman stooping down and creeping about
behind that pattern. I don't like it a bit. I wonder—I begin to
think—I wish John would take me away from here!It is so hard to talk with John about my case, because he is
so wise, and because he loves me so.But I tried it last night.It was moonlight. The moon shines in all around just as the
sun does.I hate to see it sometimes, it creeps so slowly, and always
comes in by one window or another.John was asleep and I hated to waken him, so I kept still and
watched the moonlight on that undulating wall-paper till I felt
creepy.The faint figure behind seemed to shake the pattern, just as
if she wanted to get out.I got up softly and went to feel and see if the paper DID
move, and when I came back John was awake."What is it, little girl?" he said. "Don't go walking about
like that—you'll get cold."I though it was a good time to talk, so I told him that I
really was not gaining here, and that I wished he would take me
away."Why darling!" said he, "our lease will be up in three weeks,
and I can't see how to leave before."The repairs are not done at home, and I cannot possibly
leave town just now. Of course if you were in any danger, I could
and would, but you really are better, dear, whether you can see it
or not. I am a doctor, dear, and I know. You are gaining flesh and
color, your appetite is better, I feel really much easier about
you.""I don't weigh a bit more," said I, "nor as much; and my
appetite may be better in the evening when you are here, but it is
worse in the morning when you are away!""Bless her little heart!" said he with a big hug, "she shall
be as sick as she pleases! But now let's improve the shining hours
by going to sleep, and talk about it in the morning!""And you won't go away?" I asked gloomily."Why, how can I, dear? It is only three weeks more and then
we will take a nice little trip of a few days while Jennie is
getting the house ready. Really dear you are better!""Better in body perhaps—" I began, and stopped short, for he
sat up straight and looked at me with such a stern, reproachful
look that I could not say another word."My darling," said he, "I beg of you, for my sake and for our
child's sake, as well as for your own, that you will never for one
instant let that idea enter your mind! There is nothing so
dangerous, so fascinating, to a temperament like yours. It is a
false and foolish fancy. Can you not trust me as a physician when I
tell you so?"So of course I said no more on that score, and we went to
sleep before long. He thought I was asleep first, but I wasn't, and
lay there for hours trying to decide whether that front pattern and
the back pattern really did move together or separately.On a pattern like this, by daylight, there is a lack of
sequence, a defiance of law, that is a constant irritant to a
normal mind.The color is hideous enough, and unreliable enough, and
infuriating enough, but the pattern is torturing.You think you have mastered it, but just as you get well
underway in following, it turns a back-somersault and there you
are. It slaps you in the face, knocks you down, and tramples upon
you. It is like a bad dream.The outside pattern is a florid arabesque, reminding one of a
fungus. If you can imagine a toadstool in joints, an interminable
string of toadstools, budding and sprouting in endless
convolutions—why, that is something like it.That is, sometimes!There is one marked peculiarity about this paper, a thing
nobody seems to notice but myself, and that is that it changes as
the light changes.When the sun shoots in through the east window—I always watch
for that first long, straight ray—it changes so quickly that I
never can quite believe it.That is why I watch it always.By moonlight—the moon shines in all night when there is a
moon—I wouldn't know it was the same paper.At night in any kind of light, in twilight, candle light,
lamplight, and worst of all by moonlight, it becomes bars! The
outside pattern I mean, and the woman behind it is as plain as can
be.I didn't realize for a long time what the thing was that
showed behind, that dim sub-pattern, but now I am quite sure it is
a woman.By daylight she is subdued, quiet. I fancy it is the pattern
that keeps her so still. It is so puzzling. It keeps me quiet by
the hour.I lie down ever so much now. John says it is good for me, and
to sleep all I can.Indeed he started the habit by making me lie down for an hour
after each meal.It is a very bad habit I am convinced, for you see I don't
sleep.And that cultivates deceit, for I don't tell them I'm awake—O
no!The fact is I am getting a little afraid of John.He seems very queer sometimes, and even Jennie has an
inexplicable look.It strikes me occasionally, just as a scientific
hypothesis,—that perhaps it is the paper!I have watched John when he did not know I was looking, and
come into the room suddenly on the most innocent excuses, and I've
caught him several times LOOKING AT THE PAPER! And Jennie too. I
caught Jennie with her hand on it once.She didn't know I was in the room, and when I asked her in a
quiet, a very quiet voice, with the most restrained manner
possible, what she was doing with the paper—she turned around as if
she had been caught stealing, and looked quite angry—asked me why I
should frighten her so!Then she said that the paper stained everything it touched,
that she had found yellow smooches on all my clothes and John's,
and she wished we would be more careful!Did not that sound innocent? But I know she was studying that
pattern, and I am determined that nobody shall find it out but
myself!Life is very much more exciting now than it used to be. You
see I have something more to expect, to look forward to, to watch.
I really do eat better, and am more quiet than I was.John is so pleased to see me improve! He laughed a little the
other day, and said I seemed to be flourishing in spite of my
wall-paper.I turned it off with a laugh. I had no intention of telling
him it was BECAUSE of the wall-paper—he would make fun of me. He
might even want to take me away.I don't want to leave now until I have found it out. There is
a week more, and I think that will be enough.I'm feeling ever so much better! I don't sleep much at night,
for it is so interesting to watch developments; but I sleep a good
deal in the daytime.In the daytime it is tiresome and perplexing.There are always new shoots on the fungus, and new shades of
yellow all over it. I cannot keep count of them, though I have
tried conscientiously.It is the strangest yellow, that wall-paper! It makes me
think of all the yellow things I ever saw—not beautiful ones like
buttercups, but old foul, bad yellow things.But there is something else about that paper—the smell! I
noticed it the moment we came into the room, but with so much air
and sun it was not bad. Now we have had a week of fog and rain, and
whether the windows are open or not, the smell is here.It creeps all over the house.I find it hovering in the dining-room, skulking in the
parlor, hiding in the hall, lying in wait for me on the
stairs.It gets into my hair.Even when I go to ride, if I turn my head suddenly and
surprise it—there is that smell!Such a peculiar odor, too! I have spent hours in trying to
analyze it, to find what it smelled like.It is not bad—at first, and very gentle, but quite the
subtlest, most enduring odor I ever met.In this damp weather it is awful, I wake up in the night and
find it hanging over me.It used to disturb me at first. I thought seriously of
burning the house—to reach the smell.But now I am used to it. The only thing I can think of that
it is like is the COLOR of the paper! A yellow smell.There is a very funny mark on this wall, low down, near the
mopboard. A streak that runs round the room. It goes behind every
piece of furniture, except the bed, a long, straight, even SMOOCH,
as if it had been rubbed over and over.I wonder how it was done and who did it, and what they did it
for. Round and round and round—round and round and round—it makes
me dizzy!I really have discovered something at last.Through watching so much at night, when it changes so, I have
finally found out.The front pattern DOES move—and no wonder! The woman behind
shakes it!Sometimes I think there are a great many women behind, and
sometimes only one, and she crawls around fast, and her crawling
shakes it all over.Then in the very bright spots she keeps still, and in the
very shady spots she just takes hold of the bars and shakes them
hard.And she is all the time trying to climb through. But nobody
could climb through that pattern—it strangles so; I think that is
why it has so many heads.They get through, and then the pattern strangles them off and
turns them upside down, and makes their eyes white!If those heads were covered or taken off it would not be half
so bad.I think that woman gets out in the daytime!And I'll tell you why—privately—I've seen her!I can see her out of every one of my windows!It is the same woman, I know, for she is always creeping, and
most women do not creep by daylight.I see her on that long road under the trees, creeping along,
and when a carriage comes she hides under the blackberry
vines.I don't blame her a bit. It must be very humiliating to be
caught creeping by daylight!I always lock the door when I creep by daylight. I can't do
it at night, for I know John would suspect something at
once.And John is so queer now, that I don't want to irritate him.
I wish he would take another room! Besides, I don't want anybody to
get that woman out at night but myself.I often wonder if I could see her out of all the windows at
once.But, turn as fast as I can, I can only see out of one at one
time.And though I always see her, she MAY be able to creep faster
than I can turn!I have watched her sometimes away off in the open country,
creeping as fast as a cloud shadow in a high wind.If only that top pattern could be gotten off from the under
one! I mean to try it, little by little.I have found out another funny thing, but I shan't tell it
this time! It does not do to trust people too much.There are only two more days to get this paper off, and I
believe John is beginning to notice. I don't like the look in his
eyes.And I heard him ask Jennie a lot of professional questions
about me. She had a very good report to give.She said I slept a good deal in the daytime.John knows I don't sleep very well at night, for all I'm so
quiet!He asked me all sorts of questions, too, and pretended to be
very loving and kind.As if I couldn't see through him!Still, I don't wonder he acts so, sleeping under this paper
for three months.It only interests me, but I feel sure John and Jennie are
secretly affected by it.Hurrah! This is the last day, but it is enough. John is to
stay in town over night, and won't be out until this
evening.Jennie wanted to sleep with me—the sly thing! but I told her
I should undoubtedly rest better for a night all alone.That was clever, for really I wasn't alone a bit! As soon as
it was moonlight and that poor thing began to crawl and shake the
pattern, I got up and ran to help her.I pulled and she shook, I shook and she pulled, and before
morning we had peeled off yards of that paper.A strip about as high as my head and half around the
room.And then when the sun came and that awful pattern began to
laugh at me, I declared I would finish it to-day!We go away to-morrow, and they are moving all my furniture
down again to leave things as they were before.Jennie looked at the wall in amazement, but I told her
merrily that I did it out of pure spite at the vicious
thing.She laughed and said she wouldn't mind doing it herself, but
I must not get tired.How she betrayed herself that time!But I am here, and no person touches this paper but me—not
ALIVE!She tried to get me out of the room—it was too patent! But I
said it was so quiet and empty and clean now that I believed I
would lie down again and sleep all I could; and not to wake me even
for dinner—I would call when I woke.So now she is gone, and the servants are gone, and the things
are gone, and there is nothing left but that great bedstead nailed
down, with the canvas mattress we found on it.We shall sleep downstairs to-night, and take the boat home
to-morrow.I quite enjoy the room, now it is bare again.How those children did tear about here!This bedstead is fairly gnawed!But I must get to work.I have locked the door and thrown the key down into the front
path.I don't want to go out, and I don't want to have anybody come
in, till John comes.I want to astonish him.I've got a rope up here that even Jennie did not find. If
that woman does get out, and tries to get away, I can tie
her!But I forgot I could not reach far without anything to stand
on!This bed will NOT move!I tried to lift and push it until I was lame, and then I got
so angry I bit off a little piece at one corner—but it hurt my
teeth.Then I peeled off all the paper I could reach standing on the
floor. It sticks horribly and the patte [...]