Twelfth Night
Twelfth NightPERSONS REPRESENTEDACT I.ACT II.ACT III. ACT IV.ACT V.Copyright
Twelfth Night
William Shakespeare
PERSONS REPRESENTED
ORSINO, Duke of Illyria.SEBASTIAN, a young Gentleman, brother to Viola.ANTONIO, a Sea Captain, friend to Sebastian.A SEA CAPTAIN, friend to ViolaVALENTINE, Gentleman attending on the DukeCURIO, Gentleman attending on the DukeSIR TOBY BELCH, Uncle of Olivia.SIR ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK.MALVOLIO, Steward to Olivia.FABIAN, Servant to Olivia.CLOWN, Servant to Olivia.OLIVIA, a rich Countess.VIOLA, in love with the Duke.MARIA, Olivia's Woman.Lords, Priests, Sailors, Officers, Musicians, and
otherAttendants.SCENE: A City in Illyria; and the
Sea-coast near it.
ACT I.
SCENE I. An Apartment in the DUKE'S
Palace.[Enter DUKE, CURIO, Lords; Musicians
attending.]DUKE.If music be the food of love, play on,Give me excess of it; that, surfeiting,The appetite may sicken and so die.—That strain again;—it had a dying fall;O, it came o'er my ear like the sweet south,That breathes upon a bank of violets,Stealing and giving odour.—Enough; no more;'Tis not so sweet now as it was before.O spirit of love, how quick and fresh art thou!That, notwithstanding thy capacityReceiveth as the sea, nought enters there,Of what validity and pitch soever,But falls into abatement and low priceEven in a minute! so full of shapes is fancy,That it alone is high fantastical.CURIO.Will you go hunt, my lord?DUKE.What, Curio?CURIO.The hart.DUKE.Why, so I do, the noblest that I have:O, when mine eyes did see Olivia first,Methought she purg'd the air of pestilence;That instant was I turn'd into a hart;And my desires, like fell and cruel hounds,E'er since pursue me.—How now! what news from
her?[Enter VALENTINE.]VALENTINE.So please my lord, I might not be admitted,But from her handmaid do return this answer:The element itself, till seven years' heat,Shall not behold her face at ample view;But like a cloistress she will veiled walk,And water once a-day her chamber roundWith eye-offending brine: all this to seasonA brother's dead love, which she would keep
freshAnd lasting in her sad remembrance.DUKE.O, she that hath a heart of that fine frameTo pay this debt of love but to a brother,How will she love when the rich golden shaftHath kill'd the flock of all affections elseThat live in her; when liver, brain, and heart,These sovereign thrones, are all supplied and
fill'd,—Her sweet perfections,—with one self king!—Away before me to sweet beds of flowers:Love-thoughts lie rich when canopied with
bowers.[Exeunt.]SCENE II. The sea-coast.[Enter VIOLA, CAPTAIN, and Sailors.]VIOLA.What country, friends, is this?CAPTAIN.This is Illyria, lady.VIOLA.And what should I do in Illyria?My brother he is in Elysium.Perchance he is not drown'd—What think you,
sailors?CAPTAIN.It is perchance that you yourself were sav'd.VIOLA.O my poor brother! and so perchance may he be.CAPTAIN.True, madam; and, to comfort you with chance,Assure yourself, after our ship did split,When you, and those poor number sav'd with you,Hung on our driving boat, I saw your brother,Most provident in peril, bind himself,—-Courage and hope both teaching him the
practice,—To a strong mast that liv'd upon the sea;Where, like Arion on the dolphin's back,I saw him hold acquaintance with the wavesSo long as I could see.VIOLA.For saying so, there's gold!Mine own escape unfoldeth to my hope,Whereto thy speech serves for authority,The like of him. Know'st thou this country?CAPTAIN.Ay, madam, well; for I was bred and bornNot three hours' travel from this very place.VIOLA.Who governs here?CAPTAIN.A noble duke, in natureAs in name.VIOLA.What is his name?CAPTAIN.Orsino.VIOLA.Orsino! I have heard my father name him.He was a bachelor then.CAPTAIN.And so is now,Or was so very late; for but a monthAgo I went from hence; and then 'twas freshIn murmur,—as, you know, what great ones do,The less will prattle of,—that he did seekThe love of fair Olivia.VIOLA.What's she?CAPTAIN.A virtuous maid, the daughter of a countThat died some twelvemonth since; then leaving
herIn the protection of his son, her brother,Who shortly also died; for whose dear love,They say, she hath abjured the companyAnd sight of men.VIOLA.O that I served that lady!And might not be delivered to the world,Till I had made mine own occasion mellow,What my estate is.CAPTAIN.That were hard to compass:Because she will admit no kind of suit,No, not the duke's.VIOLA.There is a fair behaviour in thee, captain;And though that nature with a beauteous wallDoth oft close in pollution, yet of theeI will believe thou hast a mind that suitsWith this thy fair and outward character.I pray thee, and I'll pay thee bounteously,Conceal me what I am; and be my aidFor such disguise as, haply, shall becomeThe form of my intent. I'll serve this duke;Thou shalt present me as an eunuch to him;It may be worth thy pains, for I can sing,And speak to him in many sorts of music,That will allow me very worth his service.What else may hap to time I will commit;Only shape thou silence to my wit.CAPTAIN.Be you his eunuch and your mute I'll be;When my tongue blabs, then let mine eyes not
see.VIOLA.I thank thee. Lead me on.[Exeunt.]SCENE III. A Room in OLIVIA'S
House.[Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA.]SIR TOBY. What a plague means my niece, to take the death of
her brother thus? I am sure care's an enemy to life.MARIA. By my troth, Sir Toby, you must come in earlier o'
nights; your cousin, my lady, takes great exceptions to your ill
hours.SIR TOBY.Why, let her except, before excepted.MARIA. Ay, but you must confine yourself within the modest
limits of order.SIR TOBY. Confine? I'll confine myself no finer than I am:
these clothes are good enough to drink in, and so be these boots
too; an they be not, let them hang themselves in their own
straps.MARIA. That quaffing and drinking will undo you: I heard my
lady talk of it yesterday; and of a foolish knight that you brought
in one night here to be her wooer.SIR TOBY.Who? Sir Andrew Ague-cheek?MARIA.Ay, he.SIR TOBY.He's as tall a man as any's in Illyria.MARIA.What's that to the purpose?SIR TOBY.Why, he has three thousand ducats a year.MARIA. Ay, but he'll have but a year in all these ducats;
he's a very fool, and a prodigal.SIR TOBY. Fye that you'll say so! he plays o' the
viol-de-gambo, and speaks three or four languages word for word
without book, and hath all the good gifts of nature.MARIA. He hath indeed,—almost natural: for, besides that he's
a fool, he's a great quarreller; and, but that he hath the gift of
a coward to allay the gust he hath in quarrelling, 'tis thought
among the prudent he would quickly have the gift of a
grave.SIR TOBY. By this hand, they are scoundrels and subtractors
that say so of him. Who are they?MARIA.They that add, moreover, he's drunk nightly in your
company.SIR TOBY. With drinking healths to my niece; I'll drink to
her as long as there is a passage in my throat and drink in
Illyria. He's a coward and a coystril that will not drink to my
niece till his brains turn o' the toe like a parish-top. What,
wench! Castiliano-vulgo! for here comes Sir Andrew
Ague-face.[Enter SIR ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK.]AGUE-CHEEK.Sir Toby Belch! how now, Sir Toby Belch!SIR TOBY.Sweet Sir Andrew?SIR ANDREW.Bless you, fair shrew.MARIA.And you too, sir.SIR TOBY.Accost, Sir Andrew, accost.SIR ANDREW.What's that?SIR TOBY.My niece's chamber-maid.SIR ANDREW.Good Mistress Accost, I desire better
acquaintance.MARIA.My name is Mary, sir.SIR ANDREW.Good Mistress Mary Accost,—SIR TOBY. You mistake, knight: accost is, front her, board
her, woo her, assail her.SIR ANDREW.By my troth, I would not undertake her in this
company.Is that the meaning of accost?MARIA.Fare you well, gentlemen.SIR TOBY. An thou let part so, Sir Andrew, would thou mightst
never draw sword again.SIR ANDREW. An you part so, mistress, I would I might never
draw sword again. Fair lady, do you think you have fools in
hand?MARIA.Sir, I have not you by the hand.SIR ANDREW.Marry, but you shall have; and here's my hand.MARIA. Now, sir, thought is free. I pray you, bring your hand
to the buttery-bar and let it drink.SIR ANDREW.Wherefore, sweetheart? what's your metaphor?MARIA.It's dry, sir.SIR ANDREW. Why, I think so; I am not such an ass but I can
keep my hand dry. But what's your jest?MARIA.A dry jest, sir.SIR ANDREW.Are you full of them?MARIA. Ay, sir, I have them at my fingers' ends: marry, now I
let go your hand I am barren.[Exit MARIA.]SIR TOBY. O knight, thou lack'st a cup of canary: When did I
see thee so put down?SIR ANDREW. Never in your life, I think; unless you see
canary put me down. Methinks sometimes I have no more wit than a
Christian or an ordinary man has; but I am great eater of beef,
and, I believe, that does harm to my wit.SIR TOBY.No question.SIR ANDREW. An I thought that, I'd forswear it. I'll ride
home to-morrow, Sir Toby.SIR TOBY.Pourquoy, my dear knight?SIR ANDREW. What is pourquoy? do or not do? I would I had
bestowed that time in the tongues that I have in fencing, dancing,
and bear-baiting. Oh, had I but followed the arts!SIR TOBY.Then hadst thou had an excellent head of hair.SIR ANDREW.Why, would that have mended my hair?SIR TOBY.Past question; for thou seest it will not curl by
nature.SIR ANDREW.But it becomes me well enough, does't not?SIR TOBY. Excellent; it hangs like flax on a distaff; and I
hope to see a houswife take thee between her legs and spin it
off.SIR ANDREW. Faith, I'll home to-morrow, Sir Toby; your niece
will not be seen; or, if she be, it's four to one she'll none of
me; the count himself here hard by woos her.SIR TOBY. She'll none o' the Count; she'll not match above
her degree, neither in estate, years, nor wit; I have heard her
swear't. Tut, there's life in't, man.SIR ANDREW. I'll stay a month longer. I am a fellow o' the
strangest mind i' the world; I delight in masques and revels
sometimes altogether.SIR TOBY.Art thou good at these kick-shaws, knight?SIR ANDREW. As any man in Illyria, whatsoever he be, under
the degree of my betters; and yet I will not compare with an old
man.SIR TOBY.What is thy excellence in a galliard, knight?SIR ANDREW.Faith, I can cut a caper.SIR TOBY.And I can cut the mutton to't.SIR ANDREW. And, I think, I have the back-trick simply as
strong as any man in Illyria.SIR TOBY. Wherefore are these things hid? wherefore have
these gifts a curtain before them? are they like to take dust, like
Mistress Mall's picture? why dost thou not go to church in a
galliard and come home in a coranto? My very walk should be a jig;
I would not so much as make water but in a sink-a-pace. What dost
thou mean? is it a world to hide virtues in? I did think, by the
excellent constitution of thy leg, it was formed under the star of
a galliard.SIR ANDREW. Ay, 'tis strong, and it does indifferent well in
flame-colour'd stock. Shall we set about some revels?SIR TOBY.What shall we do else? were we not born under
Taurus?SIR ANDREW.Taurus? that's sides and heart.SIR TOBY. No, sir; it is legs and thighs. Let me see thee
caper: ha, higher: ha, ha!—excellent![Exeunt.]SCENE IV. A Room in the DUKE'S
Palace.[Enter VALENTINE, and VIOLA in man's attire.]VALENTINE. If the duke continue these favours towards you,
Cesario, you are like to be much advanced; he hath known you but
three days, and already you are no stranger.VIOLA. You either fear his humour or my negligence, that you
call in question the continuance of his love. Is he inconstant,
sir, in his favours?VALENTINE.No, believe me.[Enter DUKE, CURIO, and Attendants.]VIOLA.I thank you. Here comes the count.DUKE.Who saw Cesario, ho?VIOLA.On your attendance, my lord; here.DUKE.Stand you awhile aloof.—Cesario,