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'I'm a widower grieving herself. / My stem still living / while all the petals have died; / my body has begun to droop.' Hannah has taken her regular hospitalization due to serious illness and made it into astonishing poetry. Her world of the hospital is sometimes like a zoo, sometimes like a gallery and sometimes a crowded town square. The wards contain tigers and crows, butterflies – doctors become poets, the dead turn into an art installation, while outside, the trees are plastic – as unchanging as Hannah's shielding days that 'drag like a foot.' But between the pulled curtains of these words the details of real-life amongst the terminally ill are depicted in full colour. A daughter 'cries neatly in a corner' while her mourning father spins 'his wedding band around his finger.' Nurses fill 'carrier bags marked 'patient's property',' while 'the industrial plastic' crinkles as a body is lifted from bed to trolley in its bag. The poet's eye feels unblinking at times – unable but also unwilling to blink. How could it when it has so much to show? These poems are heavy with import, but they are light with the liveliness of art that is beautifully rendered. 'These are extraordinary poems that contain both humour and grief towards a world that continually dehumanizes disabled people in multiple ways. With startling images, Hannah Hodgson balances anger and love, despair and hope – this is a pamphlet that will leave any reader irrevocably changed.' – Kim Moore
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PUBLISHED BY VERVE POETRY PRESS
https://vervepoetrypress.com
All rights reserved
© 2021 Hannah Hodgson
The right of Hannah Hodgson to be identified as author of this work has been asserted in accordance with section 77 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
No part of this work may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, recorded or mechanical, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
FIRST PUBLISHED FEB 2021
Printed and bound in the UKby Positive Print, Birmingham
ISBN: 978-1-912565-53-5
ePub ISBN: 978-1-913917-71-5
crying silently and telling him this
our quiet moments at home at night
a year away from now, i promise, is a shield
not ever short of your love for me
i see their eyes and figures in my sleep
my fears, i wait; i receive no reply
we don’t talk about anything left unsaid
and urns they say that we were the victors
like this; all legs and lungs and eyes and death
the pandemic has made monsters of us all
a marble, sent skittering across the floor
they’ll save anyone before you
give me more than charity to live
do i live so much less a life than her?
the doctors never entered with good news
they died of a disease that was maybe treatable
or this is all a dream just a fever dream
the final, beautiful, honest word
if you can it’s such a bad time to die
we can tell ourselves all is well
say the epidemic gave them, at least, a fighting chance
Acknowledgements
To Mum – for putting up with my messy room and messy life. All my love, Hannah xx
Where I’d
Watch
Plastic Trees
Not Grow
The trees here grow medical conditions.