ALCOHOLISM AND STIGMA. A Family involved in the Joust of Alcoholism While fighting to Build Al-Anon in Italy. E-Book

Laura Carlodalatri

• Herausgeber: Youcanprint
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2020

Beschreibung

Two lives, those of Laura and her mother Leonella, are linked to a mutual aid association that deals with alcoholism in its first years of life. Mario, Laura's twin, is overwhelmed by alcohol and drug problems since his childhood. Laura and Leonella try helping him in all possible ways. In the book personal events alternate with those of Al-Anon (an association gathering families and friends of Alcoholics Anonymous), becoming inseparable, as it was in reality. The problems will be overcome thanks to the guide-lines postulated by the association itself. “It is precisely the way in which the difficulties have been overcome - the author declares - to highlight the value and the spirit of Al-Anon that through the world has helped thousands and thousands of relatives and friends of people whose life was upset by alcoholism”. The family affair will end tragically but Leonella will continue to translate for Al-Anon until her last days of life.

Leseprobe

Indice

ALCOHOLISM and STIGMA

Introductory Note

To better understand the Text

Open Letter

Chapter One

A phone number

Mario - Vicolo del Trifone

Leonella - First contact with A.A.: a person with a kind voice answers the phone.

Pietro (1973).

Notes on A.A.

Lois throws a shoe at her sober husband... and Al-Anon is born.

Pietro dies, sober. Giancarla and Elisa commit suicide.

A beautiful afternoon in May (1974).

Wendi

Alcoholism is a Disease

Leonella – “When translating, it seems to me I'm speaking to my son.”

Leonella – An embittered Wendi goes back to America: Abi wanted to kick her out the Group.

Chapter Two

Fragments - Alcoholism: A wind blowing from far away

Grandfather Francesco.

Alessandro: an obedient child

In Italy, they consider the psychologist as a misfortune, reserved to madmen and eccentrics.

Suddenly a glass in my hands

Chapter Three

The Cash

Mario - Via Luigi Lilio.

Alcoholism, a family disease. The role of Al-Anon.

The first battles: there is a ‘Program’ also for the Al-Anon members. The Group divides into two factions.

The cash is to be defended

Your alcoholic is not sober: “Out of Al-Anon!”

Al-Anon is strictly for the alcoholic's relatives: “Friends cannot enter!”

A.A. asks an Al-Anon for help in managing the Secretariat.

Naive attempts.

“The accounting notebooks have been thrown away”

Someone thinks about funding.

“In Milano everyone hates you!”

The ‘A.A. and Al-Anon newsletter’ first issue (1980).

Chapter Four

An offense forever

Roberto teaches Mario a trick.

Mario and the drugs. The checkered jacket (1958)

“You have offended me”: Alessandro breaks the family forever (1967)

The iguana

Beautiful scarves.

Mario faces the world of entertainment.

Disturbing episodes in Perugia.

Chapter Five

From the first publications to the Yellow Sheets

Mario - Via dell'Agnello

Leonella - First Al-Anon pamphlets: A.A. lends us the money.

First Al-Anon book: a Typography helps us.

Extras in the Assembly

A phone call: “Leonella, keep quiet. Now there is money for everyone”.

An alcoholic points the gun at Leonella: “I kill you!”

‘The Yellow Sheets’ (June 1982)’ - Leonella and Laura are dangerous subjects for Al-Anon. They also inform New York about it.

The Yellow Sheets: the answers were never published

The correspondence between Leonella and New York is censored. The WSO is spiritually dangerous.

The Padova Meeting (September 1982): Abi insists on throwing Leonella out of Al-Anon.

Chapter Six

Fragments - Ernesto meets Al-Anon

Chapter Seven

From New York to Milano

Mario - Via dei Banchi Nuovi

Leonella -The New York meeting is moving. They hand me the copyright for the book: ‘A day at a time in Al-Anon’ (20/23 September 1982).

Leonella - Milano, Assembly 10/12 December 1982: “They forbid me from reporting on the New York meeting. I am informed that my assignments are going to finish.”

Leonella19 - The meeting with the Arbiters turns into a monologue: no explanations; no answers (January 1983).

Leonella - Public Information: a booklet to the Index (1984).

Literature: the dates of the first edition disappear. The first ten years of work simply erased.

Chapter Eight

Leonella's Report on the official New York Meeting20 and the friendly encounter with Lois.

Chapter Nine

Fragments“The moon turned its cold face...”

Mario- Forty admissions to clinics.

28 November 1992 - Nothing more to hope for - Nothing more to be expected.

A phone call: “Come back”

The Morgue (199224).

A dish of lentils (Genesis 25; 27-28).

My shortcomings. Emotional detachment

Chapter Ten

The Eulogy

In Leonella’s Death - Considerations.

XII Tradition and Service Concepts.

Appendix

Who’s Who

The Steps-The Traditions The Concepts of Service

A.A. and Al-Anon Monthly News - n.1

Al-Anon – Incorporation Deed and Statute

Correspondence - Minutes - Meetings

Note

Giordana

ALCOHOLISM AND STIGMA

The Story of two Lives who Fight to build Al-Anon in Italy

Youcanprint

Title | Alcoholism and Stigma.

The Story of two Lives who Fight to build Al-Anon in Italy

Author | Giordana

ISBN | 978-88-31657-26-6

Giordana’s Channel | FORYOU TUBENEWS

© All rights reserved by the Author

No part of this book may

be reproduced without the

prior permission of the Author.

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Via Marco Biagi 6 - 73100 Lecce

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Based on a true story. For reasons of privacy, the names have been changed. The contents and ideas expressed in this book are to be considered the author's personal opinion and experiences; and therefore does not bind the publisher in any way.

The images included in the text are exclusively for illustrative and explanatory purposes. The author does not intend to use them to harm the rights of others. They are old photos, and some are of low quality, but constitute a relevant historical testimony. They are private property.

What thou lovest well remains,

the rest is dross

What thou lov’st well shall not be reft from thee

What thou lov’st well is thy true heritage

Ezra Pound (Canto LXXXI)  

I dedicate these memories

To my twin brother Mario

To my parents

For having led their life in such a way that

their children today can be proud of it

To Maria

For her unique moral and intellectual qualities

and for being an irreplaceable friend

without which this book wouldn't have taken shape

nor would it ever have been completed

To Hernany

For her collaboration

To Damian Tharcisius,

who reviewed and edited

the English edition more than once,

with great dedication and beyond expectations!

In the story, two lives wind along

a dramatic thread, in the fight against alcoholism within the family

and the difficulties they face in a non-profit organization, from the time of its founding.

Introductory Note

It’s the 90’s. Leonella and Laura, for the first time, interweave their experiences involving an association that supports the relatives of people suffering from alcoholism, and their own lives. This ‘story’ links the problem of addiction at home (via Fragments), to the issues of the Association (the newly emerging Association of Family and Friends of Alcoholics Anonymous – Al-Anon).

The reconstruction of the memories, which emerged intermittently over the period of forty years, finally came to an end on November 2018.

The narrative voice is that of Laura1.

Leonella's paragraphs are written in italics and bear her signature (L. died in 2014).

In support of the facts narrated, an extract of the documents belonging to the private paper archive of the protagonists, are cited in the Appendix.

Leonella and Laura, during the interviews, often reiterated that the negative events were due to the actions of individuals and not to Al-Anon as an association. In all our conversations, they continued to refer to the non-profit and its efforts, as a gift from God to all those who have an alcoholic family member or friend. For this reason, they spared no effort in contributing to the birth of Al-Anon in Italy. Even to the point of enduring stigma. They fought for Al-Anon to become an instrument of healing and unity in Italy: a rescue vessel, into which those in need could find refuge from the sea of despair. Al-Anon: which today has become a crystalline Association, that is renowned across the world for its efforts. This tale, marks the Italian version of its origins.

To better understand the Text

Imagine a Theatre with three alternate stages

First Stage – The Story of Al-Anon

We have two narrative voices, or ‘actors’: Laura and Leonella.

The Paragraphs written by Leonella are preceded by her name.

Laura and Leonella speak about their problems involving the Association from its beginning. As they worked inside Al-Anon as volunteers from the very start.

Inside the Association they had different tasks: Leonella was translating, whilst Laura was volunteering inside the Group. For this reason they sometimes experience the same events together. At other times, each of them present their own version of the journey, and together they reconstruct the story.

Second stage- Fragments (the contemporary life of the protagonists, at their home)

The narrative voice is only of Laura. Leonella died in 2014. Laura wrote Fragments only recently.

Laura wants the reader-living on the other side-seeing the problems that she and her mother experience at home. The Fragments are intended to allow the reader to become acquainted with the personages, and to be aware, that behind the story of the Association there are human beings with their deeply personal dramas.

Laura expresses her views via flashbacks. Each one of them is isolated. They follow the order of time.

Third Stage - Mario’s dramas

Laura wants the reader seeing the tragedy that Mario is living through.

She attempts this by shedding light on his life: capturing the most tragic moments. For this reason the title of the concerned paragraphs are all written on the right hand, and are presented on purpose at the end of the Al-Anon Chapters: Chapters 1-3-5-7. Chapter 9 is dedicated solely to Mario.

***

Laura never allows the reader to forget Mario. He is always there; when Laura lights the Third Stage with flashbacks, at the end of the Chapters dedicated to the Association; or because Laura speaks about him in the Fragments. Or when the entire Chapter is dedicated to him.

1949 – Far from problems.

From left to right: Laura, Leonella, Alessandro, Mario.

OPEN LETTER

To all the Al-Anon 2.

To all those who will never stop fighting

for the defense of human dignity.

My name is Laura, and I am an Al-Anon.

Since Truth is one of the fundamental values of every life and social structure, I have decided to share my story and my experiences involving all the Al-Anon members. In so doing, I also share them with anyone who wants to benefit of them. Confronting the truth about ourselves and others is the basis of the Recovery Program proposed by both Al-Anon and Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.). Facing social difficulties from various types of people encountered in Al-Anon, is an experience that is characteristic of most social groups of any time. This commonality of experience is what makes Al-Anon valid on a global level.

It is meaningful the path that the Association had set up in Italy. For if you remain firm in the vision outlined by the Steps, the Traditions and the Service Concepts that are the basis of Al-Anon for the individual recovery, difficulties shall smooth out.

It is a fair estimate, that to date, Al-Anon has helped or saved the lives of millions of people, who were once caught in the joust of alcoholism.

9 novembre 1972

Thanks to Santino of ‘Al-Anon/Udine 1’

For putting the article at our disposal.

For the sake of fluency, we have chosen not to

repeat ‘he or her’ every time.

Therefore

the masculine form is also meant to include the feminine one.

Visit Giordana’s Channel

FORYOU TUBENEWS

Chapter OneA carefully guarded phone number

Dad is not there. He must work.

Alessandro is not there. I do not know where he is.

Leonella - First contact with A.A.: a person with a kind voice answers the phone.

I can't talk about the beginning of Al-Anon in Italy without talking about A.A.

On 6 May 1972, an alcoholic named Carlo goes to the American Group of A.A. in Via Napoli 58 seeking help; a place already frequented by some other Italian alcoholics.

Carlo is the first alcoholic to achieve sobriety, and so strives to help others achieve the same result.

Carlo, in October 1972, lays the foundations for the first Italian- speaking Group of A.A., in Via Napoli. Later on, he also has an article published on the same subject, in a national newspaper.

‘Il Messaggero’, on 9 November 1972, published the news of the existence of an A.A. Group: which helps people having trouble with alcohol to find release. Also included is a phone number for those seeking more information. The article is by Sandro Cova.

I read the article and kept the newspaper, although I am not sure if the incomprehensible behavior of my son Mario, is due to the abuse of alcoholic beverages.