The
characteristic features of Indian culture have long been a search
for ultimate verities and the concomitant disciple-guru
relationship. My own path led me to a Christlike sage whose
beautiful life was chiseled for the ages. He was one of the great
masters who are India's sole remaining wealth. Emerging in every
generation, they have bulwarked their land against the fate of
Babylon and Egypt.
I find my earliest memories
covering the anachronistic features of a previous incarnation.
Clear recollections came to me of a distant life, a yogi amidst the
Himalayan snows. These glimpses of the past, by some dimensionless
link, also afforded me a glimpse of the future.
The helpless humiliations of
infancy are not banished from my mind. I was resentfully conscious
of not being able to walk or express myself freely. Prayerful
surges arose within me as I realized my bodily impotence. My strong
emotional life took silent form as words in many languages. Among
the inward confusion of tongues, my ear gradually accustomed itself
to the circumambient Bengali syllables of my people. The beguiling
scope of an infant's mind! adultly considered limited to toys and
toes.
Psychological ferment and my
unresponsive body brought me to many obstinate crying-spells. I
recall the general family bewilderment at my distress. Happier
memories, too, crowd in on me: my mother's caresses, and my first
attempts at lisping phrase and toddling step. These early triumphs,
usually forgotten quickly, are yet a natural basis of
self-confidence.
My far-reaching memories are not
unique. Many yogis are known to have retained their
self-consciousness without interruption by the dramatic transition
to and from "life" and "death." If man be solely a body, its loss
indeed places the final period to identity. But if prophets down
the millenniums spake with truth, man is essentially of incorporeal
nature. The persistent core of human egoity is only temporarily
allied with sense perception.
Although odd, clear memories of
infancy are not extremely rare. During travels in numerous lands, I
have listened to early recollections from the lips of veracious men
and women.
I was born in the last decade of
the nineteenth century, and passed my first eight years at
Gorakhpur. This was my birthplace in the United Provinces of
northeastern India. We were eight children: four boys and four
girls. I, Mukunda Lal Ghosh, was the second son and the fourth
child.
Father and Mother were Bengalis,
of the KSHATRIYA caste. Both were blessed with saintly nature.
Their mutual love, tranquil and dignified, never expressed itself
frivolously. A perfect parental harmony was the calm center for the
revolving tumult of eight young lives.
Father, Bhagabati Charan Ghosh,
was kind, grave, at times stern. Loving him dearly, we children yet
observed a certain reverential distance. An outstanding
mathematician and logician, he was guided principally by his
intellect. But Mother was a queen of hearts, and taught us only
through love. After her death, Father displayed more of his inner
tenderness. I noticed then that his gaze often metamorphosed into
my mother's.
In Mother's presence we tasted
our earliest bitter-sweet acquaintance with the scriptures. Tales
from the MAHABHARATA and RAMAYANA were resourcefully summoned to
meet the exigencies of discipline. Instruction and chastisement
went hand in hand.
A daily gesture of respect to
Father was given by Mother's dressing us carefully in the
afternoons to welcome him home from the office. His position was
similar to that of a vice-president, in the Bengal-Nagpur Railway,
one of India's large companies. His work involved traveling, and
our family lived in several cities during my childhood.
Mother held an open hand toward
the needy. Father was also kindly disposed, but his respect for law
and order extended to the budget. One fortnight Mother spent, in
feeding the poor, more than Father's monthly income.
"All I ask, please, is to keep
your charities within a reasonable limit." Even a gentle rebuke
from her husband was grievous to Mother. She ordered a hackney
carriage, not hinting to the children at any disagreement.
"Good-by; I am going away to my
mother's home." Ancient ultimatum!
We broke into astounded
lamentations. Our maternal uncle arrived opportunely; he whispered
to Father some sage counsel, garnered no doubt from the ages. After
Father had made a few conciliatory remarks, Mother happily
dismissed the cab. Thus ended the only trouble I ever noticed
between my parents. But I recall a characteristic discussion.
"Please give me ten rupees for a
hapless woman who has just arrived at the house." Mother's smile
had its own persuasion.
"Why ten rupees? One is enough."
Father added a justification: "When my father and grandparents died
suddenly, I had my first taste of poverty. My only breakfast,
before walking miles to my school, was a small banana. Later, at
the university, I was in such need that I applied to a wealthy
judge for aid of one rupee per month. He declined, remarking that
even a rupee is important."
"How bitterly you recall the
denial of that rupee!" Mother's heart had an instant logic. "Do you
want this woman also to remember painfully your refusal of ten
rupees which she needs urgently?"
"You win!" With the immemorial
gesture of vanquished husbands, he opened his wallet. "Here is a
ten-rupee note. Give it to her with my good will."
Father tended to first say "No"
to any new proposal. His attitude toward the strange woman who so
readily enlisted Mother's sympathy was an example of his customary
caution. Aversion to instant acceptance--typical of the French mind
in the West-is really only honoring the principle of "due
reflection." I always found Father reasonable and evenly balanced
in his judgments. If I could bolster up my numerous requests with
one or two good arguments, he invariably put the coveted goal
within my reach, whether it were a vacation trip or a new
motorcycle.
Father was a strict
disciplinarian to his children in their early years, but his
attitude toward himself was truly Spartan. He never visited the
theater, for instance, but sought his recreation in various
spiritual practices and in reading the BHAGAVAD GITA.
Shunning all luxuries, he would
cling to one old pair of shoes until they were useless. His sons
bought automobiles after they came into popular use, but Father was
always content with the trolley car for his daily ride to the
office. The accumulation of money for the sake of power was alien
to his nature. Once, after organizing the Calcutta Urban Bank, he
refused to benefit himself by holding any of its shares. He had
simply wished to perform a civic duty in his spare time.
Several years after Father had
retired on a pension, an English accountant arrived to examine the
books of the Bengal-Nagpur Railway Company. The amazed investigator
discovered that Father had never applied for overdue bonuses.
"He did the work of three men!"
the accountant told the company. "He has rupees 125,000 (about
$41,250.) owing to him as back compensation." The officials
presented Father with a check for this amount. He thought so little
about it that he overlooked any mention to the family. Much later
he was questioned by my youngest brother Bishnu, who noticed the
large deposit on a bank statement.
"Why be elated by material
profit?" Father replied. "The one who pursues a goal of
even-mindedness is neither jubilant with gain nor depressed by
loss. He knows that man arrives penniless in this world, and
departs without a single rupee."
Yogananda father.jpg
(MY FATHER, Bhagabati Charan
Ghosh, A Disciple of Lahiri Mahasaya)
Early in their married life, my
parents became disciples of a great master, Lahiri Mahasaya of
Benares. This contact strengthened Father's naturally ascetical
temperament. Mother made a remarkable admission to my eldest sister
Roma: "Your father and myself live together as man and wife only
once a year, for the purpose of having children."
Father first met Lahiri Mahasaya
through Abinash Babu, an employee in the Gorakhpur office of the
Bengal-Nagpur Railway. Abinash instructed my young ears with
engrossing tales of many Indian saints. He invariably concluded
with a tribute to the superior glories of his own guru.
"Did you ever hear of the
extraordinary circumstances under which your father became a
disciple of Lahiri Mahasaya?"
It was on a lazy summer
afternoon, as Abinash and I sat together in the compound of my
home, that he put this intriguing question. I shook my head with a
smile of anticipation.
"Years ago, before you were born,
I asked my superior officer-your father-to give me a week's leave
from my Gorakhpur duties in order to visit my guru in Benares. Your
father ridiculed my plan.
"'Are you going to become a
religious fanatic?' he inquired. 'Concentrate on your office work
if you want to forge ahead.'
"Sadly walking home along a
woodland path that day, I met your father in a palanquin. He
dismissed his servants and conveyance, and fell into step beside
me. Seeking to console me, he pointed out the advantages of
striving for worldly success. But I heard him listlessly. My heart
was repeating: 'Lahiri Mahasaya! I cannot live without seeing
you!'
"Our path took us to the edge of
a tranquil field, where the rays of the late afternoon sun were
still crowning the tall ripple of the wild grass. We paused in
admiration. There in the field, only a few yards from us, the form
of my great guru suddenly appeared!
"'Bhagabati, you are too hard on
your employee!' His voice was resonant in our astounded ears. He
vanished as mysteriously as he had come. On my knees I was
exclaiming, 'Lahiri Mahasaya! Lahiri Mahasaya!' Your father was
motionless with stupefaction for a few moments.
"'Abinash, not only do I give YOU
leave, but I give MYSELF leave to start for Benares tomorrow. I
must know this great Lahiri Mahasaya, who is able to materialize
himself at will in order to intercede for you! I will take my wife
and ask this master to initiate us in his spiritual path. Will you
guide us to him?'
"'Of course.' Joy filled me at
the miraculous answer to my prayer, and the quick, favorable turn
of events.
"The next evening your parents
and I entrained for Benares. We took a horse cart the following
day, and then had to walk through narrow lanes to my guru's
secluded home. Entering his little parlor, we bowed before the
master, enlocked in his habitual lotus posture. He blinked his
piercing eyes and leveled them on your father.
"'Bhagabati, you are too hard on
your employee!' His words were the same as those he had used two
days before in the Gorakhpur field. He added, 'I am glad that you
have allowed Abinash to visit me, and that you and your wife have
accompanied him.'
"To their joy, he initiated your
parents in the spiritual practice of KRIYA YOGA. Your father and I,
as brother disciples, have been close friends since the memorable
day of the vision. Lahiri Mahasaya took a definite interest in your
own birth. Your life shall surely be linked with his own: the
master's blessing never fails."
Lahiri Mahasaya left this world
shortly after I had entered it. His picture, in an ornate frame,
always graced our family altar in the various cities to which
Father was transferred by his office. Many a morning and evening
found Mother and me meditating before an improvised shrine,
offering flowers dipped in fragrant sandalwood paste. With
frankincense and myrrh as well as our united devotions, we honored
the divinity which had found full expression in Lahiri
Mahasaya.
His picture had a surpassing
influence over my life. As I grew, the thought of the master grew
with me. In meditation I would often see his photographic image
emerge from its small frame and, taking a living form, sit before
me. When I attempted to touch the feet of his luminous body, it
would change and again become the picture. As childhood slipped
into boyhood, I found Lahiri Mahasaya transformed in my mind from a
little image, cribbed in a frame, to a living, enlightening
presence. I frequently prayed to him in moments of trial or
confusion, finding within me his solacing direction. At first I
grieved because he was no longer physically living. As I began to
discover his secret omnipresence, I lamented no more. He had often
written to those of his disciples who were over-anxious to see him:
"Why come to view my bones and flesh, when I am ever within range
of your KUTASTHA (spiritual sight)?"
I was blessed about the age of
eight with a wonderful healing through the photograph of Lahiri
Mahasaya. This experience gave intensification to my love. While at
our family estate in Ichapur, Bengal, I was stricken with Asiatic
cholera. My life was despaired of; the doctors could do nothing. At
my bedside, Mother frantically motioned me to look at Lahiri
Mahasaya's picture on the wall above my head.
"Bow to him mentally!" She knew I
was too feeble even to lift my hands in salutation. "If you really
show your devotion and inwardly kneel before him, your life will be
spared!"
I gazed at his photograph and saw
there a blinding light, enveloping my body and the entire room. My
nausea and other uncontrollable symptoms disappeared; I was well.
At once I felt strong enough to bend over and touch Mother's feet
in appreciation of her immeasurable faith in her guru. Mother
pressed her head repeatedly against the little picture.
"O Omnipresent Master, I thank
thee that thy light hath healed my son!"
I realized that she too had
witnessed the luminous blaze through which I had instantly
recovered from a usually fatal disease.
One of my most precious
possessions is that same photograph. Given to Father by Lahiri
Mahasaya himself, it carries a holy vibration. The picture had a
miraculous origin. I heard the story from Father's brother
disciple, Kali Kumar Roy.
It appears that the master had an
aversion to being photographed. Over his protest, a group picture
was once taken of him and a cluster of devotees, including Kali
Kumar Roy. It was an amazed photographer who discovered that the
plate which had clear images of all the disciples, revealed nothing
more than a blank space in the center where he had reasonably
expected to find the outlines of Lahiri Mahasaya. The phenomenon
was widely discussed.
A certain student and expert
photographer, Ganga Dhar Babu, boasted that the fugitive figure
would not escape him. The next morning, as the guru sat in lotus
posture on a wooden bench with a screen behind him, Ganga Dhar Babu
arrived with his equipment. Taking every precaution for success, he
greedily exposed twelve plates. On each one he soon found the
imprint of the wooden bench and screen, but once again the master's
form was missing.
With tears and shattered pride,
Ganga Dhar Babu sought out his guru. It was many hours before
Lahiri Mahasaya broke his silence with a pregnant comment:
"I am Spirit. Can your camera
reflect the omnipresent Invisible?"
"I see it cannot! But, Holy Sir,
I lovingly desire a picture of the bodily temple where alone, to my
narrow vision, that Spirit appears fully to dwell."
"Come, then, tomorrow morning. I
will pose for you."
Again the photographer focused
his camera. This time the sacred figure, not cloaked with
mysterious imperceptibility, was sharp on the plate. The master
never posed for another picture; at least, I have seen none.
The photograph is reproduced in
this book. Lahiri Mahasaya's fair features, of a universal cast,
hardly suggest to what race he belonged. His intense joy of
God-communion is slightly revealed in a somewhat enigmatic smile.
His eyes, half open to denote a nominal direction on the outer
world, are half closed also. Completely oblivious to the poor lures
of the earth, he was fully awake at all times to the spiritual
problems of seekers who approached for his bounty.
Shortly after my healing through
the potency of the guru's picture, I had an influential spiritual
vision. Sitting on my bed one morning, I fell into a deep
reverie.
"What is behind the darkness of
closed eyes?" This probing thought came powerfully into my mind. An
immense flash of light at once manifested to my inward gaze. Divine
shapes of saints, sitting in meditation posture in mountain caves,
formed like miniature cinema pictures on the large screen of
radiance within my forehead.
"Who are you?" I spoke
aloud.
"We are the Himalayan yogis." The
celestial response is difficult to describe; my heart was
thrilled.
"Ah, I long to go to the
Himalayas and become like you!" The vision vanished, but the
silvery beams expanded in ever-widening circles to infinity.
"What is this wondrous
glow?"
"I am Iswara. I am Light." The
voice was as murmuring clouds.
"I want to be one with
Thee!"
Out of the slow dwindling of my
divine ecstasy, I salvaged a permanent legacy of inspiration to
seek God. "He is eternal, ever-new Joy!" This memory persisted long
after the day of rapture.
Another early recollection is
outstanding; and literally so, for I bear the scar to this day. My
elder sister Uma and I were seated in the early morning under a
NEEM tree in our Gorakhpur compound. She was helping me with a
Bengali primer, what time I could spare my gaze from the near-by
parrots eating ripe margosa fruit. Uma complained of a boil on her
leg, and fetched a jar of ointment. I smeared a bit of the salve on
my forearm.
"Why do you use medicine on a
healthy arm?"
"Well, Sis, I feel I am going to
have a boil tomorrow. I am testing your ointment on the spot where
the boil will appear."
"You little liar!"
"Sis, don't call me a liar until
you see what happens in the morning." Indignation filled me.
Uma was unimpressed, and thrice
repeated her taunt. An adamant resolution sounded in my voice as I
made slow reply.
"By the power of will in me, I
say that tomorrow I shall have a fairly large boil in this exact
place on my arm; and YOUR boil shall swell to twice its present
size!"
Morning found me with a stalwart
boil on the indicated spot; the dimensions of Uma's boil had
doubled. With a shriek, my sister rushed to Mother. "Mukunda has
become a necromancer!" Gravely, Mother instructed me never to use
the power of words for doing harm. I have always remembered her
counsel, and followed it.
My boil was surgically treated. A
noticeable scar, left by the doctor's incision, is present today.
On my right forearm is a constant reminder of the power in man's
sheer word.
Those simple and apparently
harmless phrases to Uma, spoken with deep concentration, had
possessed sufficient hidden force to explode like bombs and produce
definite, though injurious, effects. I understood, later, that the
explosive vibratory power in speech could be wisely directed to
free one's life from difficulties, and thus operate without scar or
rebuke.
Our family moved to Lahore in the
Punjab. There I acquired a picture of the Divine Mother in the form
of the Goddess Kali.
It sanctified a small informal
shrine on the balcony of our home. An unequivocal conviction came
over me that fulfillment would crown any of my prayers uttered in
that sacred spot. Standing there with Uma one day, I watched two
kites flying over the roofs of the buildings on the opposite side
of the very narrow lane.
"Why are you so quiet?" Uma
pushed me playfully.
"I am just thinking how wonderful
it is that Divine Mother gives me whatever I ask."
"I suppose She would give you
those two kites!" My sister laughed derisively.
"Why not?" I began silent prayers
for their possession.
Matches are played in India with
kites whose strings are covered with glue and ground glass. Each
player attempts to sever the string of his opponent. A freed kite
sails over the roofs; there is great fun in catching it. Inasmuch
as Uma and I were on the balcony, it seemed impossible that any
loosed kite could come into our hands; its string would naturally
dangle over the roofs.
The players across the lane began
their match. One string was cut; immediately the kite floated in my
direction. It was stationary for a moment, through sudden abatement
of breeze, which sufficed to firmly entangle the string with a
cactus plant on top of the opposite house. A perfect loop was
formed for my seizure. I handed the prize to Uma.
"It was just an extraordinary
accident, and not an answer to your prayer. If the other kite comes
to you, then I shall believe." Sister's dark eyes conveyed more
amazement than her words.
I continued my prayers with a
crescendo intensity. A forcible tug by the other player resulted in
the abrupt loss of his kite. It headed toward me, dancing in the
wind. My helpful assistant, the cactus plant, again secured the
kite string in the necessary loop by which I could grasp it. I
presented my second trophy to Uma.
"Indeed, Divine Mother listens to
you! This is all too uncanny for me!" Sister bolted away like a
frightened fawn.