8,99 €
Mehr erfahren.
On our way towards freedom we are all tangling ourselves up in relationships which mean everything else but freedom and that drag us deeper into this swamp of unfreedom. We persuade ourselves that if it would finally work out with a partner, or if the Prince would finally show up, then we would be complete and we could finally be happy.
And this is often not because of the Princes, but rather because of us. Because the task we are giving our Prince, we should actually be working on and solving ourselves.
On the way to your freedom or your inner happiness you’re heading into absolute unfreedom, and you don't notice that your happiness is depending on another person and their behaviour.
If you are truly willing to work with you, on you and in you, then you should continue reading…..
Das E-Book können Sie in Legimi-Apps oder einer beliebigen App lesen, die das folgende Format unterstützen:
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2019
Ähnliche
I don´t need you! I´ve got myself!
A psychological program towards emotional freedom
BookRix GmbH & Co. KG81371 MunichIntroduction
I don't need you! I’ve got myself!
A psychological program towards emotional freedom
1. Introduction
This book has probably found its way to you, to finally free you from your recurring dilemma. Maybe a friend, who means well, gifted it to you or maybe your friend just simply can't talk about the same unpleasant situation for the thousandth time and came to the conclusion that you need to do something about it.
Or you just came across the book whilst surfing the Internet, maybe even twice and with that, the decision was made to read it.
Or someone surrounding you has lent it to you…
As usual, there are many ways, but the important thing is though, that it’s found you! In this book are surely one or two topics that will help lead you into the freedom that you have been looking for for quite a while already.
On our way towards freedom we are all tangling ourselves up in relationships which mean everything else but freedom and that drag us deeper into this swamp of unfreedom. We persuade ourselves that if it would finally work out with a partner, or if the Prince would finally show up, then we would be complete and we could finally be happy.
As a general rule: There are only a few Princes out there and they have other jobs, as we can see in Great Britain or in other monarchies.
I don't want to name anyone personally, but I think that the Princes in the photos or on TV don't appear to be bursting with joy and happiness! They mostly give the impression that they have to pull themselves together most of the time, to mind their appearance which is very very far away from the exciting, overwhelming and joyful life. So the case with the Prince needs to be reassessed!
Let's turn our focus onto the “off-the-shelf” Princes. The coating will flake off very quickly, unless we decide that he is now the Prince, no matter what and with all odds and ends! Reality shows us though, that the decision to finally have found the Prince will be questioned after a few weeks and months already.
And this is not because of the Princes, but rather because of us. Because the task we are giving our Prince, we should actually be working on and solving ourselves. But it is more elegant, easier and mostly more common to burden this task on to the man at your side and to wait if things change within yourself. But woe to him if he doesn't take on this task and work on it!
The statements (that are surely justified!) of what is expected from us are widespread, in particular the one where we have to fulfill many positions - simultaneously! Being a partner, therapist, career advisor, host, mother, lover on the level of a prostitute (but also looking like the Madonna when the mother in law visits), organisational talent regarding finding keys, jacket and wallet, laundry lady, cook, managing the shopping externally and internally, taxi driver for the kids, paired with more organisational tasks, exam preparations, management of lunches, sports club administration and musical development; and with all of these tasks we will of course complete them in the best of moods, we shall also look awesome - just like we stepped off the cover of Cosmopolitan!
As simple as that! Many of us are doing this for years and with success...until we suddenly realise that we fell by the wayside. But this is another chapter.
Back to the task that we expect the man of our dreams or later the man of our everyday life to put up with:
He has to…
...understand us
...always have a sympathetic ear for us (even if we have already told the same story for the tenth time in just different words on the same evening)
...love us unconditionally
...but not too unconditionally, otherwise we might find that not very sexy anymore
...be affectionate and nice with us
...must be direct though in other situations
...of course be passionate
...make decisions for us when we don't want to decide by ourselves for now
...never make decisions over our heads!
...drag us out of the swamp of our feelings and be supportive
...never be the reason that we are feeling bad (of course not! We don't need him for that, we are good at that ourselves!)
...be absolutely honest
...but not too honest if it is about our looks or our weight or our quirks
...fulfill our every wish
...lip read all our wishes (or better said eye read) and fulfill them
...dissuade us from our deepest deficiencies
...finally give us the feeling that it's good that we exist
...confirm for the 100 000th time how awesome we are, even though we still don't want to believe it
...offer shelter on days that are too much for us
...see us as the woman of his dreams
...recognise how delicate we actually are on the inside and how easily we can be hurt
...recognise how much power we ultimately have
…lovingly brush away our complexes with a smile, or at least talk us out of it
...see the beauty in us and say over and over again how lucky he is that he has us
...recognise that we are on the same level as him
...detect the little girl in us and hug it
...easily accept our emotional states (but preferably without comments like: “What's wrong? Period?”
...give us the feeling that we are unique, especially when our parents obviously missed out on telling us
...encourage us when we doubt ourselves
...neglect everything else when we believe we need him (even if it was just a triviality or a small hysterical fit)
...take our psyche seriously (even if we're not doing it ourselves or not doing anything to improve it)
...talk us out of our imagined flaws (even though we keep forgetting it ourselves)
...balance our inner attitude of worthlessness for ourselves and work out our worth with angelic patience
...try to treat our past conflicts with our parents and their consequences (our sensitivities)
...acknowledge our inner child (and also see why we can't act or feel differently in this situation)
...also helping us to come to terms with our past, because the previous Princes have left or have been left, but not without leaving damage.
And last but not least he has to look good too. It would be nice if he could be reminiscent of the “Men's Health” cover: neat, not too stuffy but also not too scrappy! Presentable at parties with the best of moods and humour, preferably so that other ladies would desire him (and because he is mercilessly faithful there is no danger; and you can thumb your nose at other women!)
This would somehow all still be possible, if we wouldn't permanently enter alignment adjustments into his coordinate system. His instantaneous not desirable misbehaviour is being fed back immediately with an adjustment change towards our expectations of his behaviour. Or to formulate it precisely:
We are telling him directly that we don't want this behaviour, this comment or this ignorance and that it's pushing us even more toward our inner deficiencies or reminds us of our ‘past’. Or, that it appears that the appreciation towards us leaves much to be desired (and we already know this from the others guys or from home!).
Not that simple for the gentlemen!
But:
At no point in this game are we realising how much power we are giving to the man at our side!
We assign him (if he wants to or not) with our inner revaluation, the treatment of our complexes, our inner reconciliation of our past and with the therapeutic reconditioning of our ego. This list can be carried on further and further. I think you get the idea what tasks you’ve handed over to your partner.
In short:
He should do your work! And you are putting yourself into the position of deciding if he is doing it right or doing it wrong again.
In return you are becoming the game ball voluntarily! If he is doing it right, then you're feeling good. If he is doing it wrong, then you’ll drop even deeper into the deepest level of your misfortune and into the certainty that you got involved with the wrong man.
