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"About the book" Joy of Life Booster: Happy be in the here and now! This book is aimed at people who no longer place their happiness in the hands of others, but want to achieve this goal out of their own motivation. Don't postpone your happy life until tomorrow, live today in the HERE and NOW! Enjoying the LIFE - instead of constantly renounce, optimizing, pondering ... That's how it works without a guilty conscience! # Overcome and free yourself from fears, panic attacks & phobias in your life # The positive aspects of self-love - Boosting self-confidence and self-esteem # Financial freedom & minimalism pure - How you declutter your life, home, mind & soul # The art of self-motivation - What really inspires us & how to train the drive for action # Fulfilled Partnership - What makes a relationship really happy # Stay fit, healthy & vital - Inspirations for a healthy lifestyle # Guide to happiness for more satisfaction & joy in life # Mindfulness & Deceleration in everyday life - I am offline! Start today by making the most of your life and building a positive mindset. Be happy and will be ... starts in the HEAD! A new easy life has a liberating effect: Less ballast, less pressure, more zest for life and light-heartedness. Get this book NOW and (finally) become a happy person again!
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Seitenzahl: 171
People with social phobia have a strong and actually unfounded fear of social situations and avoid them as much as possible. However, the border to shyness is fluid. So when do we speak of social phobia and when of shyness?
Many people believe they have a social phobia because they are reluctant to focus on it. Or just being afraid to talk to other people. But just because you don't like to draw attention to yourself doesn't mean that you are suffering from a mental disorder.
When we really speak of a social phobia, social phobias are among the most frequent anxiety disorders. A phobia is thereby a persistent and unfounded fear of something, animals can be for example the classical spider phobia, or perhaps it is also the fear of locked rooms then we speak of a claustrophobia.
Or the fear of speaking in public, that's what we call social phobia. I. e. the fear of the social situation. And in these situations, the typical anxiety symptoms are shown. So the blushing, the sweating, the tachycardia, the trembling and what you know. And this naturally leads to the fact that these situations are best avoided. So don't even visit them.
Whoever has a social phobia is afraid of attracting attention. Fear of embarrassing yourself in front of others. This can apply to all social situations and then, of course, the people affected feel constantly tense and under observation. Thus they are constantly nervous, insecure and inhibited. But it can also limit itself to certain situations, such as the fear of eating other people.
The symptoms of social phobia are also evident on several levels. On the one hand there is the level of thoughts, which is determined by quite a lot of negative thoughts. People who are affected are constantly thinking about things and constantly worry about what others might think of them. What you can do now, whether you are laughing, talking about them behind your back or criticizing them. This is accompanied, for example, by the fact that they expect failure in everything and everyone. So you have a lot of negative thoughts.
At the emotional level, fear is the most common and strongest feeling of course. The fear that others might simply perceive them, that others might laugh at them, the fear of negative evaluation and criticism. The fear of talking to other people, the fear of being in public in front of others to eat, to talk or to be scared of going to a party. All these fears are behind it. But also, for example, feelings of inferiority because they consider themselves to be losers and often also feelings of anger or anger. What is more, they react so sensitively and that they can't stand it, so they always have to worry about it.
On the physical level, the typical symptoms of anxiety are evident. I think she'll know all of us. So that's the tachycardia, the shortness of breath, the trembling, the blushing, maybe the urge to let water in, the need to get a dry mouth, the need to start stuttering or the urge to say nothing at all.
Then we'd be on the behavioral level by now. Because these feelings of anxiety naturally lead to the person concerned becoming silent, saying nothing more or responding very monosyllabically. That they can avoid eye contact, for example, i. e. not be able to look into other people's eyes openly, but perhaps rather keep their eyes lowered and, of course, prefer to avoid such a situation altogether.
And that is also the problem of social phobias, that they naturally limit our radius of life quite severely, because they deprive us of the joy of life. Of course, if you always feel tense in public and are stressed when you have to eat with other people in the restaurant. A lot of joie de vivre is lost and, of course, the fact that certain situations are avoided from the very beginning. This leads to a loss of performance, because you can never compete with others, for example, because you are guaranteed not to be the one to report to the meeting. Or maybe the social phobia is so strong that you couldn't even attend the meeting.
Perhaps now, when listing the symptoms, you may have thought that some people might also come across you and I can imagine very well that many people recognize themselves in these symptoms. For example, I don't like to be the center of my attention at all and have avoided giving any lectures or speeches during my life (really by hand and foot) because I don't like it.
Shyness vs. Social phobia
But when is something now simply perhaps just an expression of character, so if there is something "shyness" and when do we really talk about the "social phobia". Most people are more or less nervous at social occasions. Approximately one third of the adults describe themselves as shy and therefore find it unpleasant to stand in public, i. e. in the focus of attention. A social phobia has however only about 1 to 15 % of the people, therefore the figures fluctuate very much in addition to this, one sometimes finds 5 to 10 % on the figure, but there is no really reliable data. But what becomes clear is that only a small part of all these people find certain social situations unpleasant.
This means that if you feel uncomfortable at Christmas parties, don't like to take the floor at school or meetings, don't like giving lectures, or find it difficult to approach other people. Then this can simply be an expression of a normal shyness and shyness is a trait and not a disease. We only speak of phobic disorders when the fear forces us to avoid all these activities from the outset. And if the fear leads to a complete restriction of the radius of life.
I have also just said that I have always avoided giving lectures, for example. So also shy people avoid certain situations. But I can still just go to a restaurant and have dinner with friends. Or I can go to a Christmas party and have no problem with that. But for a socially-phobic person, that would probably be inconceivable.
So although the border to shyness is fluid, the difference between the two is extreme: shyness and social phobia. So it's really about how much your fear restricts you in everyday life, how much the negative thoughts weigh on you and how much your fear symptoms show up.
In popular parlance, as they say, social phobia is sometimes referred to as morbid shyness:"Fear of social situations does not yet make social phobia. The border is crossed where all people and situations are perceived as a threat!".
I hope I have been able to show that many social anxieties are quite normal expressions of shyness and have no disease value. Nevertheless, they can be extremely stressful and restrictive in private and professional life.
Negative experiences from the past often burden us for a lifetime. To free yourself from this, you should learn to let go. Here I will guide you through 5 steps to learn to let go and restart.
The older we get, the more negative ballast we carry around with us. All the disappointments and injuries that have accumulated over the years. Many of them had a difficult childhood and were exposed to psychological or physical violence. Were constantly diminished in their self-esteem or have gone through some kind of traumatic experience. Even as an adult we carry it around with us.
Negative experiences do not simply vanish into thin air. They still accompany us for many years and often even our whole life long. They make us more suspicious and cautious. That we completely avoid certain situations or people and thus also get a limited radius of life. Maybe lose all our joy of life.
As your happiness commissioner, I want to help you to lead your best and most beautiful life. And this can only succeed if we free ourselves from our past. So the negative ballast, the negative experiences leave behind us and finish it once and for all. Because the bad news is, we can't undo it. What happened has happened, and we can't change that anymore. The only thing we can do is make sure that it doesn't burden and persecute the rest of our lives.
All we have to do is learn to let go:
1. make yourself aware of the negative effects of holding on to the past and incriminating on your life. Write to yourself in which areas of your life it restricts you. What physical and psychological symptoms and consequences it leads to.
2. Show yourself before your eyes what you are afraid of. So what are you afraid will happen if you let go and leave this negative experience behind you? And are your fears justified? It is often the case that the injury, the trauma or what we have experienced becomes part of our self-image. That we start to define ourselves. In this way it also offers us a certain protection, how can we always justify when something is not going so well in our life. Then we can fall back on it, so to speak, because we have also experienced that and that. And still suffer from this and that thing. Surely we also get sympathy and sympathy from others when they find out what we had to go through. This trauma can also provide some protection. Another thing is that we are often afraid of simply losing things. Even if it is something negative, incriminating and bad, it still frightens us to have nothing more. This often goes hand in hand with the fear that you have to let go of all the positive experiences and experiences that might be connected with it. So we rather stay in the situation that is destroying us, because we are afraid of what would happen if we let go of what is going to happen, what is unknown to us.
3. Consider what positive consequences releasing could have for you. What do you gain by letting go? What could your life look like? For example, you can write a letter or a longer text about what your life will look like in a year or three years, if you have let go of this incriminating one from the past. Then how do you live? Then how do you feel? What are you doing? How are you doing in your life?
4. Decide consciously to let go. After all, letting go basically means nothing more than the decision that the past should no longer burden the past. It also means accepting that it was the way it was. So it is not a question of displacing what you have experienced into the farthest corner of your head. Or to deny that it existed, you realize it has been, but you decide that it will not affect you here and now. That will not burden and restrict you further, but that from now on you will look forward and that you will start anew. When you have made this decision for yourself, of course, you have to make sure that your thoughts play along. Because they often lead a life of their own and do what they want. And that means whenever your thoughts wander back to this negative experience from the past. Say "Stop" very loudly, you can also flick or punch on the ground or combine it with some energetic gesture. And then just say,"Stop... I'm ready to let go!" really loudly.
5. Learn to accept. The last step is a bit of an additional point. Who can also help you to go through the whole process again and finish it. It's about you being really conscious about it being like it was. That you also accept that it was and that you can't change that now. Perhaps it is also about accepting that the world is not always fair. That we can't always hope for compensation or get good ones back if we do good. It is also about accepting that other people do not always behave as we expect or desire them to do. Sometimes it helps to put yourself in the perspective of someone who has done you wrong or who has not treated you well. Can you understand why? How did this come about? Has this person himself perhaps been overwhelmed in this situation? Or has she herself been through some kind of traumatic experience? Or did or could not behave in a different way? This should not be an excuse at all, but sometimes it can help you to better classify it. And about finding a little bit of your inner peace.
You see, letting go is a lengthy process that doesn't just happen overnight. Therefore be patient with yourself, be patient and let it mature. To let go of the decision is a big step, which can help you tremendously. But he also has to mature and needs his time.
Releasing means accepting the past as part of your story and deciding at the same time that you are about to start writing a new story.
How can you make others likeable and likeable? This does not require a great deal of witchcraft, but rather very important basics. Some of them are very simple and others a bit more complicated, but everyone can learn. I'll introduce you to the best tips now.
Perhaps you've heard before that we make a decision within the first few seconds or even tenths of a second about who we like and who we don't like. That puts a lot of pressure on you, of course, but it shouldn't be. Because you can't and don't have to appeal to everyone. It's perfectly normal that not every person can relate to you. Because you can't make sense of every person. Nevertheless, of course we would like to be well received by most people and there is some good advice for that.
The magic formula common to all tips and recommendations is this one: Make your counterpart feel comfortable in your presence! And how exactly do you achieve this by giving sympathy. Because if you give up sympathy, you get some back.
Tip 1: May your fellow human beings
Sympathy is a self-fulfilling prophecy. I. e. if we believe that another person likes us, then we automatically automatically behave in a much more friendly and direct way towards this person. With the effect that this person probably really likes us more.
If, on the other hand, we believe that our counterparts do not like or fear rejection, then we unconsciously behave in a reserved and cooler way towards this person. And in this way, they run the risk of getting more frequent and stronger.
So sympathy has a lot to do with your thoughts and beliefs. Of course, people who love themselves, like themselves and are at peace with themselves have a clear advantage here. Because if you don't think it's possible that someone else might like you. Then, of course, you will always go in all social interactions with this expectation and attitude. And unconsciously contribute to the fact that other people really don't like you so much.
If you want to change that, then start appreciating and loving yourself.
Tip 2: Let your counterpart know that you find him/her likeable
People like people who like them, too. We feel flattered when we experience that an opposite person likes us and react accordingly benevolently. You're probably also aware of this effect that you suddenly look at a person with completely different eyes after hearing that he or she thinks you're good.
Tip 3: Be a good listener
You don't have to do anything great to make other people like you. You don't have to have insane narrative skills and the best stories. It's much more important than telling a story, it's listening. So be a good listener, because people love to talk about themselves. There are studies which show that the greater the proportion of our speakers, the more valuable we are in assessing a consultation or conversation.
Tip 4: Interested questions
Because of this, you will of course make sure that your partner can tell you even more about yourself. You also show your interest in each other's lives and also show him that your full attention is with him. Of course, the whole thing should not end in an interrogation, so if possible ask questions about topics your partner likes to talk about, such as hobbies, passions, traveling, etc., please do not hesitate to contact us.
Tip 5: Emphasize your similarities
It's not about foolishly talking to others after the mouth, but if the other one was perhaps now in the USA and you were already in the USA. Then this is not only a good topic of conversation, but also makes each other more likeable. Because Gleich and Gleich likes to join us!
Tip 6: Make a compliment
Again, do not mucilage or talk to others after the mouth. But everyone is happy about a sincere compliment. It's also a great icebreaker, e. g. as a conversation starter. Just come up to someone and say,"Hey I like your glasses, they look great on you. I've been looking for a while, too. Where did you buy them?". You can then start a conversation about this. By the way, this also shows that you are self-confident and do not feel threatened by others, because you are able to praise their successes and achievements without feeling worse.
7. Tip: Smile, smile and smile
A smile always has a pleasant effect and so you can gain sympathy without giving a sound of yourself. Just ask yourself in which company you would like to stay. In the company of someone who looks grouchy and grumpy all the time. Or in the company of someone who smiles and shines all the time.
8. Tip: look your opponent in the eyes
Eye contact is also absolutely essential, because it signals to you that you are really there with the attention. That you're not yawning or searching the room with your eyes. Instead, you really concentrate on your counterpart, you really listen to him or her. It also signals that you are self-confident again, because you don't look down with your eyes completely intimidated. That means you're able to keep eye contact for a long time.
Tip 9: Ask for advice
The very fact that you ask the person about something impresses most people. You will then feel important, valued and interesting. And they respond to that not only with an answer, but also with sympathy for you.
Tip 10: Admit small mistakes and weaknesses