HOW THE WHALE GOT HIS
THROAT
How the Whale Got His
Throat
IN the sea, once upon a time, O
my Best Beloved, there was a Whale, and he ate fishes. He ate the
starfish and the garfish, and the crab and the dab, and the plaice
and the dace, and the skate and his mate, and the mackereel and the
pickereel, and the really truly twirly–whirly eel. All the fishes
he could find in all the sea he ate with his mouth—so! Till at last
there was only one small fish left in all the sea, and he was a
small ‘Stute Fish, and he swam a little behind the Whale’s right
ear, so as to be out of harm’s way. Then the Whale stood up on his
tail and said, ‘I’m hungry.’ And the small ‘Stute Fish said in a
small ‘stute voice, ‘Noble and generous Cetacean, have you ever
tasted Man?’
‘No,’ said the Whale. ‘What is it
like?’
‘Nice,’ said the small ‘Stute
Fish. ‘Nice but nubbly.’
‘Then fetch me some,’ said the
Whale, and he made the sea froth up with his tail. ‘One at a time
is enough,’ said the ‘Stute Fish. ‘If you swim to latitude Fifty
North,
longitude Forty West (that is
magic), you will find, sitting on a raft, in the middle of the sea,
with nothing on but a pair of blue canvas breeches, a pair of
suspenders (you must not forget the suspenders, Best Beloved), and
a jack–knife, one shipwrecked Mariner, who, it is only fair to tell
you, is a man of infinite–resource–and–sagacity.’
So the Whale swam and swam to
latitude Fifty North, longitude Forty West, as fast as he could
swim, and on a raft, in the middle of the sea, with nothing to wear
except a pair of blue canvas breeches, a pair of suspenders (you
must particularly remember the suspenders, Best Beloved), and a
jack–knife, he found one single, solitary shipwrecked Mariner,
trailing his toes in the water. (He had his mummy’s leave to
paddle, or else he would never have done it, because he was a man
of infinite–resource–and–sagacity.)
Then the Whale opened his mouth
back and back and back till it nearly touched his tail, and he
swallowed the shipwrecked Mariner, and the raft he was sitting on,
and his blue canvas breeches, and the suspenders (which you must
not forget), and the jack–knife—He swallowed them all down into his
warm, dark, inside cupboards, and then he smacked his lips—so, and
turned round three times on his tail.
But as soon as the Mariner, who
was a man of infinite–resource–and–sagacity, found himself truly
inside the Whale’s warm, dark, inside cupboards, he stumped and he
jumped and he thumped and he bumped, and he pranced and he danced,
and he banged and he clanged, and he hit and he bit, and he leaped
and he creeped, and he prowled and he howled, and he hopped and he
dropped, and he cried and he sighed, and he crawled and he bawled,
and he stepped and he lepped, and he danced hornpipes where he
shouldn’t, and the Whale felt most unhappy indeed. (Have you
forgotten the suspenders?)
This is the picture of the Whale
swallowing the Mariner with his infinite–resource–and–sagacity, and
the raft and the jack–knife and his suspenders, which you must not
forget. The buttony–things are the Mariner’s suspenders, and you
can see the knife close by them. He is sitting on the raft, but it
has tilted up sideways, so you don’t see much of it. The whity
thing by the Mariner’s left hand is a piece of wood that he was
trying to row the raft with when the Whale came along.
The piece of wood is called the
jaws–of–a–gaff. The Mariner left it outside when he went in. The
Whale’s name was Smiler, and the Mariner was called Mr. Henry
Albert Bivvens, A.B. The little ‘Stute Fish is hiding under the
Whale’s tummy, or else I would have drawn him. The reason that the
sea looks so ooshy–skooshy is because the Whale is sucking it all
into his mouth so as to suck in Mr. Henry Albert Bivvens and the
raft and the jack–knife and the suspenders. You must never forget
the suspenders.
So he said to the ‘Stute Fish,
‘This man is very nubbly, and besides he is making me hiccough.
What shall I do?’
‘Tell him to come out,’ said the
‘Stute Fish.
So the Whale called down his own
throat to the shipwrecked Mariner, ‘Come out and behave yourself.
I’ve got the hiccoughs.’
‘Nay, nay!’ said the Mariner.
‘Not so, but far otherwise. Take me to my natal–shore and the
white–cliffs–of–Albion, and I’ll think about it.’ And he began to
dance more than ever.
‘You had better take him home,’
said the ‘Stute Fish to the Whale. ‘I ought to have warned you that
he is a man of infinite–resource–and–sagacity.’
Here is the Whale looking for the
little ‘Stute Fish, who is hiding under the Door–sills of the
Equator. The little ‘Stute Fish’s name was Pingle. He is hiding
among the roots of the big seaweed that grows in front of the Doors
of the Equator. I have drawn the Doors of the Equator. They are
shut. They are always kept shut, because a door ought always to be
kept shut. The ropy–thing right across is the Equator itself; and
the things that look like rocks are the two giants Moar and Koar,
that keep the Equator in order. They drew the shadow–pictures on
the doors of the Equator, and they carved all those twisty fishes
under the Doors. The beaky–fish are called beaked Dolphins, and the
other fish with the queer heads are called Hammer–headed Sharks.
The Whale never found the little ‘Stute Fish till he got over his
temper, and then they became good friends again.
So the Whale swam and swam and
swam, with both flippers and his tail, as hard as he could for the
hiccoughs; and at last he saw the Mariner’s natal–shore and the
white–cliffs– of–Albion, and he rushed half–way up the beach, and
opened his mouth wide and wide and wide, and said, ‘Change here for
Winchester, Ashuelot, Nashua, Keene, and stations on the Fitchburg
Road;’ and just as he said ‘Fitch’ the Mariner walked out of his
mouth.
But while the Whale had been
swimming, the Mariner, who was indeed a person of
infinite–resource–and–sagacity, had taken his jack–knife and cut up
the raft into a little square grating all running criss–cross, and
he had tied it firm with his suspenders (now you know why you were
not to forget the suspenders!), and he dragged that grating
good
and tight into the Whale’s
throat, and there it stuck! Then he recited the following Sloka,
which, as you have not heard it, I will now proceed to
relate—
By means of a grating
I have stopped your ating.
For the Mariner he was also an
Hi–ber–ni–an. And he stepped out on the shingle, and went home to
his mother, who had given him leave to trail his toes in the water;
and he married and lived happily ever afterward. So did the Whale.
But from that day on, the grating in his throat, which he could
neither cough up nor swallow down, prevented him eating anything
except very, very small fish; and that is the reason why whales
nowadays never eat men or boys or little girls.
The small ‘Stute Fish went and
hid himself in the mud under the Door–sills of the Equator. He was
afraid that the Whale might be angry with him.
The Sailor took the jack–knife
home. He was wearing the blue canvas breeches when he walked out on
the shingle. The suspenders were left behind, you see, to tie the
grating with; and that is the end of that tale.
WHEN the cabin port–holes are
dark and green Because of the seas outside;
When the ship goes wop (with a
wiggle between) And the steward falls into the soup–tureen,
And the trunks begin to
slide;
When Nursey lies on the floor in
a heap, And Mummy tells you to let her sleep,
And you aren’t waked or washed or
dressed, Why, then you will know (if you haven’t guessed) You’re
‘Fifty North and Forty West!’
HOW THE CAMEL GOT HIS HUMP
How the Camel Got His Hump
NOW this is the next tale, and it
tells how the Camel got his big hump.
In the beginning of years, when
the world was so new and all, and the Animals were just beginning
to work for Man, there was a Camel, and he lived in the middle of a
Howling Desert because he did not want to work; and besides, he was
a Howler himself. So he ate sticks and thorns and tamarisks and
milkweed and prickles, most ‘scruciating idle; and when anybody
spoke to him he said ‘Humph!’ Just ‘Humph!’ and no more.
Presently the Horse came to him
on Monday morning, with a saddle on his back and a bit in his
mouth, and said, ‘Camel, O Camel, come out and trot like the rest
of us.’
‘Humph!’ said the Camel; and the
Horse went away and told the Man.
Presently the Dog came to him,
with a stick in his mouth, and said, ‘Camel, O Camel, come and
fetch and carry like the rest of us.’
‘Humph!’ said the Camel; and the
Dog went away and told the Man.
Presently the Ox came to him,
with the yoke on his neck and said, ‘Camel, O Camel, come and
plough like the rest of us.’
‘Humph!’ said the Camel; and the
Ox went away and told the Man.
At the end of the day the Man
called the Horse and the Dog and the Ox together, and said, ‘Three,
O Three, I’m very sorry for you (with the world so new–and–all);
but that Humph–thing in the Desert can’t work, or he would have
been here by now, so I am going to leave him alone, and you must
work double–time to make up for it.’
That made the Three very angry
(with the world so new–and–all), and they held a palaver, and an
indaba, and a punchayet, and a pow–wow on the edge of the Desert;
and the Camel came chewing milkweed most ‘scruciating idle, and
laughed at them. Then he said ‘Humph!’ and went away again.
Presently there came along the
Djinn in charge of All Deserts, rolling in a cloud of dust (Djinns
always travel that way because it is Magic), and he stopped to
palaver and pow– pow with the Three.
‘Djinn of All Deserts,’ said the
Horse, ‘is it right for any one to be idle, with the world so
new–and–all?’
‘Certainly not,’ said the
Djinn.
‘Well,’ said the Horse, ‘there’s
a thing in the middle of your Howling Desert (and he’s a Howler
himself) with a long neck and long legs, and he hasn’t done a
stroke of work since Monday morning. He won’t trot.’
‘Whew!’ said the Djinn,
whistling, ‘that’s my Camel, for all the gold in Arabia! What does
he say about it?’
‘He says “Humph!”’ said the Dog;
‘and he won’t fetch and carry.’ ‘Does he say anything else?’
THIS is the picture of the Djinn
making the beginnings of the Magic that brought the Humph to the
Camel. First he drew a line in the air with his finger, and it
became solid; and then he made a cloud, and then he made an egg—you
can see them both at the bottom of the picture—and then there was a
magic pumpkin that turned into a big white flame. Then the Djinn
took his magic fan and fanned that flame till the flame turned into
a magic by itself. It was a good Magic and a very kind Magic
really, though it had to give the Camel a Humph because the Camel
was lazy. The Djinn in charge of All Deserts was one of the nicest
of the Djinns, so he would never do anything really unkind.
‘Only “Humph!”; and he won’t
plough,’ said the Ox.
‘Very good,’ said the Djinn.
‘I’ll humph him if you will kindly wait a minute.’
The Djinn rolled himself up in
his dust–cloak, and took a bearing across the desert, and found the
Camel most ‘scruciatingly idle, looking at his own reflection in a
pool of water.
‘My long and bubbling friend,’
said the Djinn, ‘what’s this I hear of your doing no work, with the
world so new–and–all?’
‘Humph!’ said the Camel.
The Djinn sat down, with his chin
in his hand, and began to think a Great Magic, while the Camel
looked at his own reflection in the pool of water.
‘You’ve given the Three extra
work ever since Monday morning, all on account of your ‘scruciating
idleness,’ said the Djinn; and he went on thinking Magics, with his
chin in his hand.
‘Humph!’ said the Camel.
‘I shouldn’t say that again if I
were you,’ said the Djinn; ‘you might say it once too often.
Bubbles, I want you to work.’
HERE is the picture of the Djinn
in charge of All Deserts guiding the Magic with his magic fan. The
camel is eating a twig of acacia, and he has just finished saying
“humph” once too often (the Djinn told him he would), and so the
Humph is coming. The long towelly–thing growing out of the thing
like an onion is the Magic, and you can see the Humph on its
shoulder. The Humph fits on the flat part of the Camel’s back. The
Camel is too busy looking at his own beautiful self in the pool of
water to know what is going to happen to him. — Underneath the
truly picture is a picture of the World–so– new–and–all. There are
two smoky volcanoes in it, some other mountains and some stones and
a lake and a black island and a twisty river and a lot of other
things, as well as a Noah’s Ark. I couldn’t draw all the deserts
that the Djinn was in charge of, so I only drew one, but it is a
most deserty desert.
And the Camel said ‘Humph!’
again; but no sooner had he said it than he saw his back, that he
was so proud of, puffing up and puffing up into a great big
lolloping humph.
‘Do you see that?’ said the
Djinn. ‘That’s your very own humph that you’ve brought upon your
very own self by not working. To–day is Thursday, and you’ve done
no work since Monday, when the work began. Now you are going to
work.’
‘How can I,’ said the Camel,
‘with this humph on my back?’