CHAPTER I
THE
EARLY MARRIED LIFE OF THE MORELS
“THE
BOTTOMS” succeeded to “Hell Row”. Hell Row was a block of
thatched, bulging cottages that stood by the brookside on Greenhill
Lane. There lived the colliers who worked in the little gin-pits two
fields away. The brook ran under the alder trees, scarcely soiled by
these small mines, whose coal was drawn to the surface by donkeys
that plodded wearily in a circle round a gin. And all over the
countryside were these same pits, some of which had been worked in
the time of Charles II, the few colliers and the donkeys burrowing
down like ants into the earth, making queer mounds and little black
places among the corn-fields and the meadows. And the cottages of
these coal-miners, in blocks and pairs here and there, together with
odd farms and homes of the stockingers, straying over the parish,
formed the village of Bestwood.Then,
some sixty years ago, a sudden change took place, gin-pits were
elbowed aside by the large mines of the financiers. The coal and iron
field of Nottinghamshire and Derbyshire was discovered. Carston,
Waite and Co. appeared. Amid tremendous excitement, Lord Palmerston
formally opened the company’s first mine at Spinney Park, on the
edge of Sherwood Forest.About
this time the notorious Hell Row, which through growing old had
acquired an evil reputation, was burned down, and much dirt was
cleansed away.Carston,
Waite & Co. found they had struck on a good thing, so, down the
valleys of the brooks from Selby and Nuttall, new mines were sunk,
until soon there were six pits working. From Nuttall, high up on the
sandstone among the woods, the railway ran, past the ruined priory of
the Carthusians and past Robin Hood’s Well, down to Spinney Park,
then on to Minton, a large mine among corn-fields; from Minton across
the farmlands of the valleyside to Bunker’s Hill, branching off
there, and running north to Beggarlee and Selby, that looks over at
Crich and the hills of Derbyshire: six mines like black studs on the
countryside, linked by a loop of fine chain, the railway.To
accommodate the regiments of miners, Carston, Waite and Co. built the
Squares, great quadrangles of dwellings on the hillside of Bestwood,
and then, in the brook valley, on the site of Hell Row, they erected
the Bottoms.The
Bottoms consisted of six blocks of miners’ dwellings, two rows of
three, like the dots on a blank-six domino, and twelve houses in a
block. This double row of dwellings sat at the foot of the rather
sharp slope from Bestwood, and looked out, from the attic windows at
least, on the slow climb of the valley towards Selby.The
houses themselves were substantial and very decent. One could walk
all round, seeing little front gardens with auriculas and saxifrage
in the shadow of the bottom block, sweet-williams and pinks in the
sunny top block; seeing neat front windows, little porches, little
privet hedges, and dormer windows for the attics. But that was
outside; that was the view on to the uninhabited parlours of all the
colliers’ wives. The dwelling-room, the kitchen, was at the back of
the house, facing inward between the blocks, looking at a scrubby
back garden, and then at the ash-pits. And between the rows, between
the long lines of ash-pits, went the alley, where the children played
and the women gossiped and the men smoked. So, the actual conditions
of living in the Bottoms, that was so well built and that looked so
nice, were quite unsavoury because people must live in the kitchen,
and the kitchens opened on to that nasty alley of ash-pits.Mrs.
Morel was not anxious to move into the Bottoms, which was already
twelve years old and on the downward path, when she descended to it
from Bestwood. But it was the best she could do. Moreover, she had an
end house in one of the top blocks, and thus had only one neighbour;
on the other side an extra strip of garden. And, having an end house,
she enjoyed a kind of aristocracy among the other women of the
“between” houses, because her rent was five shillings and
sixpence instead of five shillings a week. But this superiority in
station was not much consolation to Mrs. Morel.She
was thirty-one years old, and had been married eight years. A rather
small woman, of delicate mould but resolute bearing, she shrank a
little from the first contact with the Bottoms women. She came down
in the July, and in the September expected her third baby.Her
husband was a miner. They had only been in their new home three weeks
when the wakes, or fair, began. Morel, she knew, was sure to make a
holiday of it. He went off early on the Monday morning, the day of
the fair. The two children were highly excited. William, a boy of
seven, fled off immediately after breakfast, to prowl round the wakes
ground, leaving Annie, who was only five, to whine all morning to go
also. Mrs. Morel did her work. She scarcely knew her neighbours yet,
and knew no one with whom to trust the little girl. So she promised
to take her to the wakes after dinner.William
appeared at half-past twelve. He was a very active lad, fair-haired,
freckled, with a touch of the Dane or Norwegian about him.
“Can
I have my dinner, mother?” he cried, rushing in with his cap on.
“‘Cause it begins at half-past one, the man says so.”
“You
can have your dinner as soon as it’s done,” replied the mother.
“Isn’t
it done?” he cried, his blue eyes staring at her in indignation.
“Then I’m goin’ be-out it.”
“You’ll
do nothing of the sort. It will be done in five minutes. It is only
half-past twelve.”
“They’ll
be beginnin’,” the boy half cried, half shouted.
“You
won’t die if they do,” said the mother. “Besides, it’s only
half-past twelve, so you’ve a full hour.”The
lad began hastily to lay the table, and directly the three sat down.
They were eating batter-pudding and jam, when the boy jumped off his
chair and stood perfectly stiff. Some distance away could be heard
the first small braying of a merry-go-round, and the tooting of a
horn. His face quivered as he looked at his mother.
“I
told you!” he said, running to the dresser for his cap.
“Take
your pudding in your hand—and it’s only five past one, so you
were wrong—you haven’t got your twopence,” cried the mother in
a breath.The
boy came back, bitterly disappointed, for his twopence, then went off
without a word.
“I
want to go, I want to go,” said Annie, beginning to cry.
“Well,
and you shall go, whining, wizzening little stick!” said the
mother. And later in the afternoon she trudged up the hill under the
tall hedge with her child. The hay was gathered from the fields, and
cattle were turned on to the eddish. It was warm, peaceful.Mrs.
Morel did not like the wakes. There were two sets of horses, one
going by steam, one pulled round by a pony; three organs were
grinding, and there came odd cracks of pistol-shots, fearful
screeching of the cocoanut man’s rattle, shouts of the Aunt Sally
man, screeches from the peep-show lady. The mother perceived her son
gazing enraptured outside the Lion Wallace booth, at the pictures of
this famous lion that had killed a negro and maimed for life two
white men. She left him alone, and went to get Annie a spin of
toffee. Presently the lad stood in front of her, wildly excited.
“You
never said you was coming—isn’t the’ a lot of things?—that
lion’s killed three men—I’ve spent my tuppence—an’ look
here.”He
pulled from his pocket two egg-cups, with pink moss-roses on them.
“I
got these from that stall where y’ave ter get them marbles in them
holes. An’ I got these two in two goes-’aepenny a go-they’ve
got moss-roses on, look here. I wanted these.”She
knew he wanted them for her.
“H’m!”
she said, pleased. “They ARE pretty!”
“Shall
you carry ‘em, ‘cause I’m frightened o’ breakin’ ‘em?”He
was tipful of excitement now she had come, led her about the ground,
showed her everything. Then, at the peep-show, she explained the
pictures, in a sort of story, to which he listened as if spellbound.
He would not leave her. All the time he stuck close to her, bristling
with a small boy’s pride of her. For no other woman looked such a
lady as she did, in her little black bonnet and her cloak. She smiled
when she saw women she knew. When she was tired she said to her son:
“Well,
are you coming now, or later?”
“Are
you goin’ a’ready?” he cried, his face full of reproach.
“Already?
It is past four, I know.”
“What
are you goin’ a’ready for?” he lamented.
“You
needn’t come if you don’t want,” she said.And
she went slowly away with her little girl, whilst her son stood
watching her, cut to the heart to let her go, and yet unable to leave
the wakes. As she crossed the open ground in front of the Moon and
Stars she heard men shouting, and smelled the beer, and hurried a
little, thinking her husband was probably in the bar.At
about half-past six her son came home, tired now, rather pale, and
somewhat wretched. He was miserable, though he did not know it,
because he had let her go alone. Since she had gone, he had not
enjoyed his wakes.
“Has
my dad been?” he asked.
“No,”
said the mother.
“He’s
helping to wait at the Moon and Stars. I seed him through that black
tin stuff wi’ holes in, on the window, wi’ his sleeves rolled
up.”
“Ha!”
exclaimed the mother shortly. “He’s got no money. An’ he’ll
be satisfied if he gets his ‘lowance, whether they give him more or
not.”When
the light was fading, and Mrs. Morel could see no more to sew, she
rose and went to the door. Everywhere was the sound of excitement,
the restlessness of the holiday, that at last infected her. She went
out into the side garden. Women were coming home from the wakes, the
children hugging a white lamb with green legs, or a wooden horse.
Occasionally a man lurched past, almost as full as he could carry.
Sometimes a good husband came along with his family, peacefully. But
usually the women and children were alone. The stay-at-home mothers
stood gossiping at the corners of the alley, as the twilight sank,
folding their arms under their white aprons.Mrs.
Morel was alone, but she was used to it. Her son and her little girl
slept upstairs; so, it seemed, her home was there behind her, fixed
and stable. But she felt wretched with the coming child. The world
seemed a dreary place, where nothing else would happen for her—at
least until William grew up. But for herself, nothing but this dreary
endurance—till the children grew up. And the children! She could
not afford to have this third. She did not want it. The father was
serving beer in a public house, swilling himself drunk. She despised
him, and was tied to him. This coming child was too much for her. If
it were not for William and Annie, she was sick of it, the struggle
with poverty and ugliness and meanness.She
went into the front garden, feeling too heavy to take herself out,
yet unable to stay indoors. The heat suffocated her. And looking
ahead, the prospect of her life made her feel as if she were buried
alive.The
front garden was a small square with a privet hedge. There she stood,
trying to soothe herself with the scent of flowers and the fading,
beautiful evening. Opposite her small gate was the stile that led
uphill, under the tall hedge between the burning glow of the cut
pastures. The sky overhead throbbed and pulsed with light. The glow
sank quickly off the field; the earth and the hedges smoked dusk. As
it grew dark, a ruddy glare came out on the hilltop, and out of the
glare the diminished commotion of the fair.Sometimes,
down the trough of darkness formed by the path under the hedges, men
came lurching home. One young man lapsed into a run down the steep
bit that ended the hill, and went with a crash into the stile. Mrs.
Morel shuddered. He picked himself up, swearing viciously, rather
pathetically, as if he thought the stile had wanted to hurt him.She
went indoors, wondering if things were never going to alter. She was
beginning by now to realise that they would not. She seemed so far
away from her girlhood, she wondered if it were the same person
walking heavily up the back garden at the Bottoms as had run so
lightly up the breakwater at Sheerness ten years before.
“What
have I to do with it?” she said to herself. “What have I to do
with all this? Even the child I am going to have! It doesn’t seem
as if I were taken into account.”Sometimes
life takes hold of one, carries the body along, accomplishes one’s
history, and yet is not real, but leaves oneself as it were slurred
over.
“I
wait,” Mrs. Morel said to herself—“I wait, and what I wait for
can never come.”Then
she straightened the kitchen, lit the lamp, mended the fire, looked
out the washing for the next day, and put it to soak. After which she
sat down to her sewing. Through the long hours her needle flashed
regularly through the stuff. Occasionally she sighed, moving to
relieve herself. And all the time she was thinking how to make the
most of what she had, for the children’s sakes.At
half-past eleven her husband came. His cheeks were very red and very
shiny above his black moustache. His head nodded slightly. He was
pleased with himself.
“Oh!
Oh! waitin’ for me, lass? I’ve bin ‘elpin’ Anthony, an’
what’s think he’s gen me? Nowt b’r a lousy hae’f-crown, an’
that’s ivry penny—”
“He
thinks you’ve made the rest up in beer,” she said shortly.
“An’
I ‘aven’t—that I ‘aven’t. You b’lieve me, I’ve ‘ad
very little this day, I have an’ all.” His voice went tender.
“Here, an’ I browt thee a bit o’ brandysnap, an’ a cocoanut
for th’ children.” He laid the gingerbread and the cocoanut, a
hairy object, on the table. “Nay, tha niver said thankyer for nowt
i’ thy life, did ter?”As
a compromise, she picked up the cocoanut and shook it, to see if it
had any milk.
“It’s
a good ‘un, you may back yer life o’ that. I got it fra’ Bill
Hodgkisson. ‘Bill,’ I says, ‘tha non wants them three nuts,
does ter? Arena ter for gi’ein’ me one for my bit of a lad an’
wench?’ ‘I ham, Walter, my lad,’ ‘e says; ‘ta’e which on
‘em ter’s a mind.’ An’ so I took one, an’ thanked ‘im. I
didn’t like ter shake it afore ‘is eyes, but ‘e says, ‘Tha’d
better ma’e sure it’s a good un, Walt.’ An’ so, yer see, I
knowed it was. He’s a nice chap, is Bill Hodgkisson, e’s a nice
chap!”
“A
man will part with anything so long as he’s drunk, and you’re
drunk along with him,” said Mrs. Morel.
“Eh,
tha mucky little ‘ussy, who’s drunk, I sh’d like ter know?”
said Morel. He was extraordinarily pleased with himself, because of
his day’s helping to wait in the Moon and Stars. He chattered on.Mrs.
Morel, very tired, and sick of his babble, went to bed as quickly as
possible, while he raked the fire.Mrs.
Morel came of a good old burgher family, famous independents who had
fought with Colonel Hutchinson, and who remained stout
Congregationalists. Her grandfather had gone bankrupt in the
lace-market at a time when so many lace-manufacturers were ruined in
Nottingham. Her father, George Coppard, was an engineer—a large,
handsome, haughty man, proud of his fair skin and blue eyes, but more
proud still of his integrity. Gertrude resembled her mother in her
small build. But her temper, proud and unyielding, she had from the
Coppards.George
Coppard was bitterly galled by his own poverty. He became foreman of
the engineers in the dockyard at Sheerness. Mrs. Morel—Gertrude—was
the second daughter. She favoured her mother, loved her mother best
of all; but she had the Coppards’ clear, defiant blue eyes and
their broad brow. She remembered to have hated her father’s
overbearing manner towards her gentle, humorous, kindly-souled
mother. She remembered running over the breakwater at Sheerness and
finding the boat. She remembered to have been petted and flattered by
all the men when she had gone to the dockyard, for she was a
delicate, rather proud child. She remembered the funny old mistress,
whose assistant she had become, whom she had loved to help in the
private school. And she still had the Bible that John Field had given
her. She used to walk home from chapel with John Field when she was
nineteen. He was the son of a well-to-do tradesman, had been to
college in London, and was to devote himself to business.She
could always recall in detail a September Sunday afternoon, when they
had sat under the vine at the back of her father’s house. The sun
came through the chinks of the vine-leaves and made beautiful
patterns, like a lace scarf, falling on her and on him. Some of the
leaves were clean yellow, like yellow flat flowers.
“Now
sit still,” he had cried. “Now your hair, I don’t know what it
IS like! It’s as bright as copper and gold, as red as burnt copper,
and it has gold threads where the sun shines on it. Fancy their
saying it’s brown. Your mother calls it mouse-colour.”She
had met his brilliant eyes, but her clear face scarcely showed the
elation which rose within her.
“But
you say you don’t like business,” she pursued.
“I
don’t. I hate it!” he cried hotly.
“And
you would like to go into the ministry,” she half implored.
“I
should. I should love it, if I thought I could make a first-rate
preacher.”
“Then
why don’t you—why DON’T you?” Her voice rang with defiance.
“If I were a man, nothing would stop me.”She
held her head erect. He was rather timid before her.
“But
my father’s so stiff-necked. He means to put me into the business,
and I know he’ll do it.”
“But
if you’re a MAN?” she had cried.
“Being
a man isn’t everything,” he replied, frowning with puzzled
helplessness.Now,
as she moved about her work at the Bottoms, with some experience of
what being a man meant, she knew that it was NOT everything.At
twenty, owing to her health, she had left Sheerness. Her father had
retired home to Nottingham. John Field’s father had been ruined;
the son had gone as a teacher in Norwood. She did not hear of him
until, two years later, she made determined inquiry. He had married
his landlady, a woman of forty, a widow with property.And
still Mrs. Morel preserved John Field’s Bible. She did not now
believe him to be—Well, she understood pretty well what he might or
might not have been. So she preserved his Bible, and kept his memory
intact in her heart, for her own sake. To her dying day, for
thirty-five years, she did not speak of him.When
she was twenty-three years old, she met, at a Christmas party, a
young man from the Erewash Valley. Morel was then twenty-seven years
old. He was well set-up, erect, and very smart. He had wavy black
hair that shone again, and a vigorous black beard that had never been
shaved. His cheeks were ruddy, and his red, moist mouth was
noticeable because he laughed so often and so heartily. He had that
rare thing, a rich, ringing laugh. Gertrude Coppard had watched him,
fascinated. He was so full of colour and animation, his voice ran so
easily into comic grotesque, he was so ready and so pleasant with
everybody. Her own father had a rich fund of humour, but it was
satiric. This man’s was different: soft, non-intellectual, warm, a
kind of gambolling.She
herself was opposite. She had a curious, receptive mind which found
much pleasure and amusement in listening to other folk. She was
clever in leading folk to talk. She loved ideas, and was considered
very intellectual. What she liked most of all was an argument on
religion or philosophy or politics with some educated man. This she
did not often enjoy. So she always had people tell her about
themselves, finding her pleasure so.In
her person she was rather small and delicate, with a large brow, and
dropping bunches of brown silk curls. Her blue eyes were very
straight, honest, and searching. She had the beautiful hands of the
Coppards. Her dress was always subdued. She wore dark blue silk, with
a peculiar silver chain of silver scallops. This, and a heavy brooch
of twisted gold, was her only ornament. She was still perfectly
intact, deeply religious, and full of beautiful candour.Walter
Morel seemed melted away before her. She was to the miner that thing
of mystery and fascination, a lady. When she spoke to him, it was
with a southern pronunciation and a purity of English which thrilled
him to hear. She watched him. He danced well, as if it were natural
and joyous in him to dance. His grandfather was a French refugee who
had married an English barmaid—if it had been a marriage. Gertrude
Coppard watched the young miner as he danced, a certain subtle
exultation like glamour in his movement, and his face the flower of
his body, ruddy, with tumbled black hair, and laughing alike whatever
partner he bowed above. She thought him rather wonderful, never
having met anyone like him. Her father was to her the type of all
men. And George Coppard, proud in his bearing, handsome, and rather
bitter; who preferred theology in reading, and who drew near in
sympathy only to one man, the Apostle Paul; who was harsh in
government, and in familiarity ironic; who ignored all sensuous
pleasure:—he was very different from the miner. Gertrude herself
was rather contemptuous of dancing; she had not the slightest
inclination towards that accomplishment, and had never learned even a
Roger de Coverley. She was puritan, like her father, high-minded, and
really stern. Therefore the dusky, golden softness of this man’s
sensuous flame of life, that flowed off his flesh like the flame from
a candle, not baffled and gripped into incandescence by thought and
spirit as her life was, seemed to her something wonderful, beyond
her.He
came and bowed above her. A warmth radiated through her as if she had
drunk wine.
“Now
do come and have this one wi’ me,” he said caressively. “It’s
easy, you know. I’m pining to see you dance.”She
had told him before she could not dance. She glanced at his humility
and smiled. Her smile was very beautiful. It moved the man so that he
forgot everything.
“No,
I won’t dance,” she said softly. Her words came clean and
ringing.Not
knowing what he was doing—he often did the right thing by
instinct—he sat beside her, inclining reverentially.
“But
you mustn’t miss your dance,” she reproved.
“Nay,
I don’t want to dance that—it’s not one as I care about.”
“Yet
you invited me to it.”He
laughed very heartily at this.
“I
never thought o’ that. Tha’rt not long in taking the curl out of
me.”It
was her turn to laugh quickly.
“You
don’t look as if you’d come much uncurled,” she said.
“I’m
like a pig’s tail, I curl because I canna help it,” he laughed,
rather boisterously.
“And
you are a miner!” she exclaimed in surprise.
“Yes.
I went down when I was ten.”She
looked at him in wondering dismay.
“When
you were ten! And wasn’t it very hard?” she asked.
“You
soon get used to it. You live like th’ mice, an’ you pop out at
night to see what’s going on.”
“It
makes me feel blind,” she frowned.
“Like
a moudiwarp!” he laughed. “Yi, an’ there’s some chaps as does
go round like moudiwarps.” He thrust his face forward in the blind,
snout-like way of a mole, seeming to sniff and peer for direction.
“They dun though!” he protested naively. “Tha niver seed such a
way they get in. But tha mun let me ta’e thee down some time, an’
tha can see for thysen.”She
looked at him, startled. This was a new tract of life suddenly opened
before her. She realised the life of the miners, hundreds of them
toiling below earth and coming up at evening. He seemed to her noble.
He risked his life daily, and with gaiety. She looked at him, with a
touch of appeal in her pure humility.
“Shouldn’t
ter like it?” he asked tenderly. “‘Appen not, it ‘ud dirty
thee.”She
had never been “thee’d” and “thou’d” before.The
next Christmas they were married, and for three months she was
perfectly happy: for six months she was very happy.He
had signed the pledge, and wore the blue ribbon of a tee-totaller: he
was nothing if not showy. They lived, she thought, in his own house.
It was small, but convenient enough, and quite nicely furnished, with
solid, worthy stuff that suited her honest soul. The women, her
neighbours, were rather foreign to her, and Morel’s mother and
sisters were apt to sneer at her ladylike ways. But she could
perfectly well live by herself, so long as she had her husband close.Sometimes,
when she herself wearied of love-talk, she tried to open her heart
seriously to him. She saw him listen deferentially, but without
understanding. This killed her efforts at a finer intimacy, and she
had flashes of fear. Sometimes he was restless of an evening: it was
not enough for him just to be near her, she realised. She was glad
when he set himself to little jobs.He
was a remarkably handy man—could make or mend anything. So she
would say:
“I
do like that coal-rake of your mother’s—it is small and natty.”
“Does
ter, my wench? Well, I made that, so I can make thee one!”
“What!
why, it’s a steel one!”
“An’
what if it is! Tha s’lt ha’e one very similar, if not exactly
same.”She
did not mind the mess, nor the hammering and noise. He was busy and
happy.But
in the seventh month, when she was brushing his Sunday coat, she felt
papers in the breast pocket, and, seized with a sudden curiosity,
took them out to read. He very rarely wore the frock-coat he was
married in: and it had not occurred to her before to feel curious
concerning the papers. They were the bills of the household
furniture, still unpaid.
“Look
here,” she said at night, after he was washed and had had his
dinner. “I found these in the pocket of your wedding-coat. Haven’t
you settled the bills yet?”
“No.
I haven’t had a chance.”
“But
you told me all was paid. I had better go into Nottingham on Saturday
and settle them. I don’t like sitting on another man’s chairs and
eating from an unpaid table.”He
did not answer.
“I
can have your bank-book, can’t I?”
“Tha
can ha’e it, for what good it’ll be to thee.”
“I
thought—” she began. He had told her he had a good bit of money
left over. But she realised it was no use asking questions. She sat
rigid with bitterness and indignation.The
next day she went down to see his mother.
“Didn’t
you buy the furniture for Walter?” she asked.
“Yes,
I did,” tartly retorted the elder woman.
“And
how much did he give you to pay for it?”The
elder woman was stung with fine indignation.
“Eighty
pound, if you’re so keen on knowin’,” she replied.
“Eighty
pounds! But there are forty-two pounds still owing!”
“I
can’t help that.”
“But
where has it all gone?”
“You’ll
find all the papers, I think, if you look—beside ten pound as he
owed me, an’ six pound as the wedding cost down here.”
“Six
pounds!” echoed Gertrude Morel. It seemed to her monstrous that,
after her own father had paid so heavily for her wedding, six pounds
more should have been squandered in eating and drinking at Walter’s
parents’ house, at his expense.
“And
how much has he sunk in his houses?” she asked.
“His
houses—which houses?”Gertrude
Morel went white to the lips. He had told her the house he lived in,
and the next one, was his own.
“I
thought the house we live in—” she began.
“They’re
my houses, those two,” said the mother-in-law. “And not clear
either. It’s as much as I can do to keep the mortgage interest
paid.”Gertrude
sat white and silent. She was her father now.
“Then
we ought to be paying you rent,” she said coldly.
“Walter
is paying me rent,” replied the mother.
“And
what rent?” asked Gertrude.
“Six
and six a week,” retorted the mother.It
was more than the house was worth. Gertrude held her head erect,
looked straight before her.
“It
is lucky to be you,” said the elder woman, bitingly, “to have a
husband as takes all the worry of the money, and leaves you a free
hand.”The
young wife was silent.She
said very little to her husband, but her manner had changed towards
him. Something in her proud, honourable soul had crystallised out
hard as rock.When
October came in, she thought only of Christmas. Two years ago, at
Christmas, she had met him. Last Christmas she had married him. This
Christmas she would bear him a child.
“You
don’t dance yourself, do you, missis?” asked her nearest
neighbour, in October, when there was great talk of opening a
dancing-class over the Brick and Tile Inn at Bestwood.
“No—I
never had the least inclination to,” Mrs. Morel replied.
“Fancy!
An’ how funny as you should ha’ married your Mester. You know
he’s quite a famous one for dancing.”
“I
didn’t know he was famous,” laughed Mrs. Morel.
“Yea,
he is though! Why, he ran that dancing-class in the Miners’ Arms
club-room for over five year.”
“Did
he?”
“Yes,
he did.” The other woman was defiant. “An’ it was thronged
every Tuesday, and Thursday, an’ Sat’day—an’ there WAS
carryin’s-on, accordin’ to all accounts.”This
kind of thing was gall and bitterness to Mrs. Morel, and she had a
fair share of it. The women did not spare her, at first; for she was
superior, though she could not help it.He
began to be rather late in coming home.
“They’re
working very late now, aren’t they?” she said to her
washer-woman.
“No
later than they allers do, I don’t think. But they stop to have
their pint at Ellen’s, an’ they get talkin’, an’ there you
are! Dinner stone cold—an’ it serves ‘em right.”
“But
Mr. Morel does not take any drink.”The
woman dropped the clothes, looked at Mrs. Morel, then went on with
her work, saying nothing.Gertrude
Morel was very ill when the boy was born. Morel was good to her, as
good as gold. But she felt very lonely, miles away from her own
people. She felt lonely with him now, and his presence only made it
more intense.The
boy was small and frail at first, but he came on quickly. He was a
beautiful child, with dark gold ringlets, and dark-blue eyes which
changed gradually to a clear grey. His mother loved him passionately.
He came just when her own bitterness of disillusion was hardest to
bear; when her faith in life was shaken, and her soul felt dreary and
lonely. She made much of the child, and the father was jealous.At
last Mrs. Morel despised her husband. She turned to the child; she
turned from the father. He had begun to neglect her; the novelty of
his own home was gone. He had no grit, she said bitterly to herself.
What he felt just at the minute, that was all to him. He could not
abide by anything. There was nothing at the back of all his show.There
began a battle between the husband and wife—a fearful, bloody
battle that ended only with the death of one. She fought to make him
undertake his own responsibilities, to make him fulfill his
obligations. But he was too different from her. His nature was purely
sensuous, and she strove to make him moral, religious. She tried to
force him to face things. He could not endure it—it drove him out
of his mind.While
the baby was still tiny, the father’s temper had become so
irritable that it was not to be trusted. The child had only to give a
little trouble when the man began to bully. A little more, and the
hard hands of the collier hit the baby. Then Mrs. Morel loathed her
husband, loathed him for days; and he went out and drank; and she
cared very little what he did. Only, on his return, she scathed him
with her satire.The
estrangement between them caused him, knowingly or unknowingly,
grossly to offend her where he would not have done.William
was only one year old, and his mother was proud of him, he was so
pretty. She was not well off now, but her sisters kept the boy in
clothes. Then, with his little white hat curled with an ostrich
feather, and his white coat, he was a joy to her, the twining wisps
of hair clustering round his head. Mrs. Morel lay listening, one
Sunday morning, to the chatter of the father and child downstairs.
Then she dozed off. When she came downstairs, a great fire glowed in
the grate, the room was hot, the breakfast was roughly laid, and
seated in his armchair, against the chimney-piece, sat Morel, rather
timid; and standing between his legs, the child—cropped like a
sheep, with such an odd round poll—looking wondering at her; and on
a newspaper spread out upon the hearthrug, a myriad of
crescent-shaped curls, like the petals of a marigold scattered in the
reddening firelight.Mrs.
Morel stood still. It was her first baby. She went very white, and
was unable to speak.
“What
dost think o’ ‘im?” Morel laughed uneasily.She
gripped her two fists, lifted them, and came forward. Morel shrank
back.
“I
could kill you, I could!” she said. She choked with rage, her two
fists uplifted.
“Yer
non want ter make a wench on ‘im,” Morel said, in a frightened
tone, bending his head to shield his eyes from hers. His attempt at
laughter had vanished.The
mother looked down at the jagged, close-clipped head of her child.
She put her hands on his hair, and stroked and fondled his head.
“Oh—my
boy!” she faltered. Her lip trembled, her face broke, and,
snatching up the child, she buried her face in his shoulder and cried
painfully. She was one of those women who cannot cry; whom it hurts
as it hurts a man. It was like ripping something out of her, her
sobbing.Morel
sat with his elbows on his knees, his hands gripped together till the
knuckles were white. He gazed in the fire, feeling almost stunned, as
if he could not breathe.Presently
she came to an end, soothed the child and cleared away the
breakfast-table. She left the newspaper, littered with curls, spread
upon the hearthrug. At last her husband gathered it up and put it at
the back of the fire. She went about her work with closed mouth and
very quiet. Morel was subdued. He crept about wretchedly, and his
meals were a misery that day. She spoke to him civilly, and never
alluded to what he had done. But he felt something final had
happened.Afterwards
she said she had been silly, that the boy’s hair would have had to
be cut, sooner or later. In the end, she even brought herself to say
to her husband it was just as well he had played barber when he did.
But she knew, and Morel knew, that that act had caused something
momentous to take place in her soul. She remembered the scene all her
life, as one in which she had suffered the most intensely.This
act of masculine clumsiness was the spear through the side of her
love for Morel. Before, while she had striven against him bitterly,
she had fretted after him, as if he had gone astray from her. Now she
ceased to fret for his love: he was an outsider to her. This made
life much more bearable.Nevertheless,
she still continued to strive with him. She still had her high moral
sense, inherited from generations of Puritans. It was now a religious
instinct, and she was almost a fanatic with him, because she loved
him, or had loved him. If he sinned, she tortured him. If he drank,
and lied, was often a poltroon, sometimes a knave, she wielded the
lash unmercifully.The
pity was, she was too much his opposite. She could not be content
with the little he might be; she would have him the much that he
ought to be. So, in seeking to make him nobler than he could be, she
destroyed him. She injured and hurt and scarred herself, but she lost
none of her worth. She also had the children.He
drank rather heavily, though not more than many miners, and always
beer, so that whilst his health was affected, it was never injured.
The week-end was his chief carouse. He sat in the Miners’ Arms
until turning-out time every Friday, every Saturday, and every Sunday
evening. On Monday and Tuesday he had to get up and reluctantly leave
towards ten o’clock. Sometimes he stayed at home on Wednesday and
Thursday evenings, or was only out for an hour. He practically never
had to miss work owing to his drinking.But
although he was very steady at work, his wages fell off. He was
blab-mouthed, a tongue-wagger. Authority was hateful to him,
therefore he could only abuse the pit-managers. He would say, in the
Palmerston:
“Th’
gaffer come down to our stall this morning, an’ ‘e says, ‘You
know, Walter, this ‘ere’ll not do. What about these props?’ An’
I says to him, ‘Why, what art talkin’ about? What d’st mean
about th’ props?’ ‘It’ll never do, this ‘ere,’ ‘e says.
‘You’ll be havin’ th’ roof in, one o’ these days.’ An’
I says, ‘Tha’d better stan’ on a bit o’ clunch, then, an’
hold it up wi’ thy ‘ead.’ So ‘e wor that mad, ‘e cossed an’
‘e swore, an’ t’other chaps they did laugh.” Morel was a good
mimic. He imitated the manager’s fat, squeaky voice, with its
attempt at good English.
“‘I
shan’t have it, Walter. Who knows more about it, me or you?’ So I
says, ‘I’ve niver fun out how much tha’ knows, Alfred. It’ll
‘appen carry thee ter bed an’ back.”’So
Morel would go on to the amusement of his boon companions. And some
of this would be true. The pit-manager was not an educated man. He
had been a boy along with Morel, so that, while the two disliked each
other, they more or less took each other for granted. But Alfred
Charlesworth did not forgive the butty these public-house sayings.
Consequently, although Morel was a good miner, sometimes earning as
much as five pounds a week when he married, he came gradually to have
worse and worse stalls, where the coal was thin, and hard to get, and
unprofitable.Also,
in summer, the pits are slack. Often, on bright sunny mornings, the
men are seen trooping home again at ten, eleven, or twelve o’clock.
No empty trucks stand at the pit-mouth. The women on the hillside
look across as they shake the hearthrug against the fence, and count
the wagons the engine is taking along the line up the valley. And the
children, as they come from school at dinner-time, looking down the
fields and seeing the wheels on the headstocks standing, say:
“Minton’s
knocked off. My dad’ll be at home.”And
there is a sort of shadow over all, women and children and men,
because money will be short at the end of the week.Morel
was supposed to give his wife thirty shillings a week, to provide
everything—rent, food, clothes, clubs, insurance, doctors.
Occasionally, if he were flush, he gave her thirty-five. But these
occasions by no means balanced those when he gave her twenty-five. In
winter, with a decent stall, the miner might earn fifty or fifty-five
shillings a week. Then he was happy. On Friday night, Saturday, and
Sunday, he spent royally, getting rid of his sovereign or
thereabouts. And out of so much, he scarcely spared the children an
extra penny or bought them a pound of apples. It all went in drink.
In the bad times, matters were more worrying, but he was not so often
drunk, so that Mrs. Morel used to say:
“I’m
not sure I wouldn’t rather be short, for when he’s flush, there
isn’t a minute of peace.”If
he earned forty shillings he kept ten; from thirty-five he kept five;
from thirty-two he kept four; from twenty-eight he kept three; from
twenty-four he kept two; from twenty he kept one-and-six; from
eighteen he kept a shilling; from sixteen he kept sixpence. He never
saved a penny, and he gave his wife no opportunity of saving;
instead, she had occasionally to pay his debts; not public-house
debts, for those never were passed on to the women, but debts when he
had bought a canary, or a fancy walking-stick.At
the wakes time Morel was working badly, and Mrs. Morel was trying to
save against her confinement. So it galled her bitterly to think he
should be out taking his pleasure and spending money, whilst she
remained at home, harassed. There were two days’ holiday. On the
Tuesday morning Morel rose early. He was in good spirits. Quite
early, before six o’clock, she heard him whistling away to himself
downstairs. He had a pleasant way of whistling, lively and musical.
He nearly always whistled hymns. He had been a choir-boy with a
beautiful voice, and had taken solos in Southwell cathedral. His
morning whistling alone betrayed it.His
wife lay listening to him tinkering away in the garden, his whistling
ringing out as he sawed and hammered away. It always gave her a sense
of warmth and peace to hear him thus as she lay in bed, the children
not yet awake, in the bright early morning, happy in his man’s
fashion.At
nine o’clock, while the children with bare legs and feet were
sitting playing on the sofa, and the mother was washing up, he came
in from his carpentry, his sleeves rolled up, his waistcoat hanging
open. He was still a good-looking man, with black, wavy hair, and a
large black moustache. His face was perhaps too much inflamed, and
there was about him a look almost of peevishness. But now he was
jolly. He went straight to the sink where his wife was washing up.
“What,
are thee there!” he said boisterously. “Sluthe off an’ let me
wesh mysen.”
“You
may wait till I’ve finished,” said his wife.
“Oh,
mun I? An’ what if I shonna?”This
good-humoured threat amused Mrs. Morel.
“Then
you can go and wash yourself in the soft-water tub.”
“Ha!
I can’ an’ a’, tha mucky little ‘ussy.”With
which he stood watching her a moment, then went away to wait for her.When
he chose he could still make himself again a real gallant. Usually he
preferred to go out with a scarf round his neck. Now, however, he
made a toilet. There seemed so much gusto in the way he puffed and
swilled as he washed himself, so much alacrity with which he hurried
to the mirror in the kitchen, and, bending because it was too low for
him, scrupulously parted his wet black hair, that it irritated Mrs.
Morel. He put on a turn-down collar, a black bow, and wore his Sunday
tail-coat. As such, he looked spruce, and what his clothes would not
do, his instinct for making the most of his good looks would.At
half-past nine Jerry Purdy came to call for his pal. Jerry was
Morel’s bosom friend, and Mrs. Morel disliked him. He was a tall,
thin man, with a rather foxy face, the kind of face that seems to
lack eyelashes. He walked with a stiff, brittle dignity, as if his
head were on a wooden spring. His nature was cold and shrewd.
Generous where he intended to be generous, he seemed to be very fond
of Morel, and more or less to take charge of him.Mrs.
Morel hated him. She had known his wife, who had died of consumption,
and who had, at the end, conceived such a violent dislike of her
husband, that if he came into her room it caused her haemorrhage.
None of which Jerry had seemed to mind. And now his eldest daughter,
a girl of fifteen, kept a poor house for him, and looked after the
two younger children.
“A
mean, wizzen-hearted stick!” Mrs. Morel said of him.
“I’ve
never known Jerry mean in MY life,” protested Morel. “A
opener-handed and more freer chap you couldn’t find anywhere,
accordin’ to my knowledge.”
“Open-handed
to you,” retorted Mrs. Morel. “But his fist is shut tight enough
to his children, poor things.”
“Poor
things! And what for are they poor things, I should like to know.”But
Mrs. Morel would not be appeased on Jerry’s score.The
subject of argument was seen, craning his thin neck over the scullery
curtain. He caught Mrs. Morel’s eye.
“Mornin’,
missis! Mester in?”
“Yes—he
is.”Jerry
entered unasked, and stood by the kitchen doorway. He was not invited
to sit down, but stood there, coolly asserting the rights of men and
husbands.
“A
nice day,” he said to Mrs. Morel.
“Yes.
“Grand
out this morning—grand for a walk.”
“Do
you mean YOU’RE going for a walk?” she asked.
“Yes.
We mean walkin’ to Nottingham,” he replied.
“H’m!”The
two men greeted each other, both glad: Jerry, however, full of
assurance, Morel rather subdued, afraid to seem too jubilant in
presence of his wife. But he laced his boots quickly, with spirit.
They were going for a ten-mile walk across the fields to Nottingham.
Climbing the hillside from the Bottoms, they mounted gaily into the
morning. At the Moon and Stars they had their first drink, then on to
the Old Spot. Then a long five miles of drought to carry them into
Bulwell to a glorious pint of bitter. But they stayed in a field with
some haymakers whose gallon bottle was full, so that, when they came
in sight of the city, Morel was sleepy. The town spread upwards
before them, smoking vaguely in the midday glare, fridging the crest
away to the south with spires and factory bulks and chimneys. In the
last field Morel lay down under an oak tree and slept soundly for
over an hour. When he rose to go forward he felt queer.The
two had dinner in the Meadows, with Jerry’s sister, then repaired
to the Punch Bowl, where they mixed in the excitement of
pigeon-racing. Morel never in his life played cards, considering them
as having some occult, malevolent power—“the devil’s pictures,”
he called them! But he was a master of skittles and of dominoes. He
took a challenge from a Newark man, on skittles. All the men in the
old, long bar took sides, betting either one way or the other. Morel
took off his coat. Jerry held the hat containing the money. The men
at the tables watched. Some stood with their mugs in their hands.
Morel felt his big wooden ball carefully, then launched it. He played
havoc among the nine-pins, and won half a crown, which restored him
to solvency.By
seven o’clock the two were in good condition. They caught the 7.30
train home.In
the afternoon the Bottoms was intolerable. Every inhabitant remaining
was out of doors. The women, in twos and threes, bareheaded and in
white aprons, gossiped in the alley between the blocks. Men, having a
rest between drinks, sat on their heels and talked. The place smelled
stale; the slate roofs glistered in the arid heat.Mrs.
Morel took the little girl down to the brook in the meadows, which
were not more than two hundred yards away. The water ran quickly over
stones and broken pots. Mother and child leaned on the rail of the
old sheep-bridge, watching. Up at the dipping-hole, at the other end
of the meadow, Mrs. Morel could see the naked forms of boys flashing
round the deep yellow water, or an occasional bright figure dart
glittering over the blackish stagnant meadow. She knew William was at
the dipping-hole, and it was the dread of her life lest he should get
drowned. Annie played under the tall old hedge, picking up alder
cones, that she called currants. The child required much attention,
and the flies were teasing.The
children were put to bed at seven o’clock. Then she worked awhile.When
Walter Morel and Jerry arrived at Bestwood they felt a load off their
minds; a railway journey no longer impended, so they could put the
finishing touches to a glorious day. They entered the Nelson with the
satisfaction of returned travellers.The
next day was a work-day, and the thought of it put a damper on the
men’s spirits. Most of them, moreover, had spent their money. Some
were already rolling dismally home, to sleep in preparation for the
morrow. Mrs. Morel, listening to their mournful singing, went
indoors. Nine o’clock passed, and ten, and still “the pair” had
not returned. On a doorstep somewhere a man was singing loudly, in a
drawl: “Lead, kindly Light.” Mrs. Morel was always indignant with
the drunken men that they must sing that hymn when they got maudlin.
“As
if ‘Genevieve’ weren’t good enough,” she said.The
kitchen was full of the scent of boiled herbs and hops. On the hob a
large black saucepan steamed slowly. Mrs. Morel took a panchion, a
great bowl of thick red earth, streamed a heap of white sugar into
the bottom, and then, straining herself to the weight, was pouring in
the liquor.Just
then Morel came in. He had been very jolly in the Nelson, but coming
home had grown irritable. He had not quite got over the feeling of
irritability and pain, after having slept on the ground when he was
so hot; and a bad conscience afflicted him as he neared the house. He
did not know he was angry. But when the garden gate resisted his
attempts to open it, he kicked it and broke the latch. He entered
just as Mrs. Morel was pouring the infusion of herbs out of the
saucepan. Swaying slightly, he lurched against the table. The boiling
liquor pitched. Mrs. Morel started back.
“Good
gracious,” she cried, “coming home in his drunkenness!”
“Comin’
home in his what?” he snarled, his hat over his eye.Suddenly
her blood rose in a jet.
“Say
you’re NOT drunk!” she flashed.She
had put down her saucepan, and was stirring the sugar into the beer.
He dropped his two hands heavily on the table, and thrust his face
forwards at her.
“‘Say
you’re not drunk,’” he repeated. “Why, nobody but a nasty
little bitch like you ‘ud ‘ave such a thought.”He
thrust his face forward at her.
“There’s
money to bezzle with, if there’s money for nothing else.”
“I’ve
not spent a two-shillin’ bit this day,” he said.
“You
don’t get as drunk as a lord on nothing,” she replied. “And,”
she cried, flashing into sudden fury, “if you’ve been sponging on
your beloved Jerry, why, let him look after his children, for they
need it.”
“It’s
a lie, it’s a lie. Shut your face, woman.”They
were now at battle-pitch. Each forgot everything save the hatred of
the other and the battle between them. She was fiery and furious as
he. They went on till he called her a liar.
“No,”
she cried, starting up, scarce able to breathe. “Don’t call me
that—you, the most despicable liar that ever walked in
shoe-leather.” She forced the last words out of suffocated lungs.
“You’re
a liar!” he yelled, banging the table with his fist. “You’re a
liar, you’re a liar.”She
stiffened herself, with clenched fists.
“The
house is filthy with you,” she cried.
“Then
get out on it—it’s mine. Get out on it!” he shouted. “It’s
me as brings th’ money whoam, not thee. It’s my house, not thine.
Then ger out on’t—ger out on’t!”
“And
I would,” she cried, suddenly shaken into tears of impotence. “Ah,
wouldn’t I, wouldn’t I have gone long ago, but for those
children. Ay, haven’t I repented not going years ago, when I’d
only the one”—suddenly drying into rage. “Do you think it’s
for YOU I stop—do you think I’d stop one minute for YOU?”
“Go,
then,” he shouted, beside himself. “Go!”
“No!”
She faced round. “No,” she cried loudly, “you shan’t have it
ALL your own way; you shan’t do ALL you like. I’ve got those
children to see to. My word,” she laughed, “I should look well to
leave them to you.”
“Go,”
he cried thickly, lifting his fist. He was afraid of her. “Go!”
“I
should be only too glad. I should laugh, laugh, my lord, if I could
get away from you,” she replied.He
came up to her, his red face, with its bloodshot eyes, thrust
forward, and gripped her arms. She cried in fear of him, struggled to
be free. Coming slightly to himself, panting, he pushed her roughly
to the outer door, and thrust her forth, slotting the bolt behind her
with a bang. Then he went back into the kitchen, dropped into his
armchair, his head, bursting full of blood, sinking between his
knees. Thus he dipped gradually into a stupor, from exhaustion and
intoxication.The
moon was high and magnificent in the August night. Mrs. Morel, seared
with passion, shivered to find herself out there in a great white
light, that fell cold on her, and gave a shock to her inflamed soul.
She stood for a few moments helplessly staring at the glistening
great rhubarb leaves near the door. Then she got the air into her
breast. She walked down the garden path, trembling in every limb,
while the child boiled within her. For a while she could not control
her consciousness; mechanically she went over the last scene, then
over it again, certain phrases, certain moments coming each time like
a brand red-hot down on her soul; and each time she enacted again the
past hour, each time the brand came down at the same points, till the
mark was burnt in, and the pain burnt out, and at last she came to
herself. She must have been half an hour in this delirious condition.
Then the presence of the night came again to her. She glanced round
in fear. She had wandered to the side garden, where she was walking
up and down the path beside the currant bushes under the long wall.
The garden was a narrow strip, bounded from the road, that cut
transversely between the blocks, by a thick thorn hedge.She
hurried out of the side garden to the front, where she could stand as
if in an immense gulf of white light, the moon streaming high in face
of her, the moonlight standing up from the hills in front, and
filling the valley where the Bottoms crouched, almost blindingly.
There, panting and half weeping in reaction from the stress, she
murmured to herself over and over again: “The nuisance! the
nuisance!”She
became aware of something about her. With an effort she roused
herself to see what it was that penetrated her consciousness. The
tall white lilies were reeling in the moonlight, and the air was
charged with their perfume, as with a presence. Mrs. Morel gasped
slightly in fear. She touched the big, pallid flowers on their
petals, then shivered. They seemed to be stretching in the moonlight.
She put her hand into one white bin: the gold scarcely showed on her
fingers by moonlight. She bent down to look at the binful of yellow
pollen; but it only appeared dusky. Then she drank a deep draught of
the scent. It almost made her dizzy.Mrs.
Morel leaned on the garden gate, looking out, and she lost herself
awhile. She did not know what she thought. Except for a slight
feeling of sickness, and her consciousness in the child, herself
melted out like scent into the shiny, pale air. After a time the
child, too, melted with her in the mixing-pot of moonlight, and she
rested with the hills and lilies and houses, all swum together in a
kind of swoon.When
she came to herself she was tired for sleep. Languidly she looked
about her; the clumps of white phlox seemed like bushes spread with
linen; a moth ricochetted over them, and right across the garden.
Following it with her eye roused her. A few whiffs of the raw, strong
scent of phlox invigorated her. She passed along the path, hesitating
at the white rose-bush. It smelled sweet and simple. She touched the
white ruffles of the roses. Their fresh scent and cool, soft leaves
reminded her of the morning-time and sunshine. She was very fond of
them. But she was tired, and wanted to sleep. In the mysterious
out-of-doors she felt forlorn.There
was no noise anywhere. Evidently the children had not been wakened,
or had gone to sleep again. A train, three miles away, roared across
the valley. The night was very large, and very strange, stretching
its hoary distances infinitely. And out of the silver-grey fog of
darkness came sounds vague and hoarse: a corncrake not far off, sound
of a train like a sigh, and distant shouts of men.Her
quietened heart beginning to beat quickly again, she hurried down the
side garden to the back of the house. Softly she lifted the latch;
the door was still bolted, and hard against her. She rapped gently,
waited, then rapped again. She must not rouse the children, nor the
neighbours. He must be asleep, and he would not wake easily. Her
heart began to burn to be indoors. She clung to the door-handle. Now
it was cold; she would take a chill, and in her present condition!Putting
her apron over her head and her arms, she hurried again to the side
garden, to the window of the kitchen. Leaning on the sill, she could
just see, under the blind, her husband’s arms spread out on the
table, and his black head on the board. He was sleeping with his face
lying on the table. Something in his attitude made her feel tired of
things. The lamp was burning smokily; she could tell by the copper
colour of the light. She tapped at the window more and more noisily.
Almost it seemed as if the glass would break. Still he did not wake
up.After
vain efforts, she began to shiver, partly from contact with the
stone, and from exhaustion. Fearful always for the unborn child, she
wondered what she could do for warmth. She went down to the
coal-house, where there was an old hearthrug she had carried out for
the rag-man the day before. This she wrapped over her shoulders. It
was warm, if grimy. Then she walked up and down the garden path,
peeping every now and then under the blind, knocking, and telling
herself that in the end the very strain of his position must wake
him.At
last, after about an hour, she rapped long and low at the window.
Gradually the sound penetrated to him. When, in despair, she had
ceased to tap, she saw him stir, then lift his face blindly. The
labouring of his heart hurt him into consciousness. She rapped
imperatively at the window. He started awake. Instantly she saw his
fists set and his eyes glare. He had not a grain of physical fear. If
it had been twenty burglars, he would have gone blindly for them. He
glared round, bewildered, but prepared to fight.
“Open
the door, Walter,” she said coldly.His
hands relaxed. It dawned on him what he had done. His head dropped,
sullen and dogged. She saw him hurry to the door, heard the bolt
chock. He tried the latch. It opened—and there stood the
silver-grey night, fearful to him, after the tawny light of the lamp.
He hurried back.When
Mrs. Morel entered, she saw him almost running through the door to
the stairs. He had ripped his collar off his neck in his haste to be
gone ere she came in, and there it lay with bursten button-holes. It
made her angry.She
warmed and soothed herself. In her weariness forgetting everything,
she moved about at the little tasks that remained to be done, set his
breakfast, rinsed his pit-bottle, put his pit-clothes on the hearth
to warm, set his pit-boots beside them, put him out a clean scarf and
snap-bag and two apples, raked the fire, and went to bed. He was
already dead asleep. His narrow black eyebrows were drawn up in a
sort of peevish misery into his forehead while his cheeks’
down-strokes, and his sulky mouth, seemed to be saying: “I don’t
care who you are nor what you are, I SHALL have my own way.”Mrs.
Morel knew him too well to look at him. As she unfastened her brooch
at the mirror, she smiled faintly to see her face all smeared with
the yellow dust of lilies. She brushed it off, and at last lay down.
For some time her mind continued snapping and jetting sparks, but she
was asleep before her husband awoke from the first sleep of his
drunkenness.