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I stood watching the shadowy fish slide through the gloom of the millpond. They were grey, descendants of the silvery things that had darted away from the monks, in the young days when the valley was lusty. The whole place was gathered in the musing of old age. The thick-piled trees on the far shore were too dark and sober to dally with the sun; the weeds stood crowded and motionless. Not even a little wind flickered the willows of the islets. The water lay softly, intensely still. Only the thin stream falling through the millrace murmured to itself of the tumult of life which had once quickened the valley. I was almost startled into the water from my perch on the alder roots by a voice saying: "Well, what is there to look at?" My friend was a young farmer, stoutly built, brown-eyed, with a naturally fair skin burned dark and freckled in patches. He laughed, seeing me start, and looked down at me with lazy curiosity.
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The long-drawn booming of the wind in the wood, and the sobbing and moaning in the maples and oaks near the house, had made Lettie restless. She did not want to go anywhere, she did not want to do anything, so she insisted on my just going out with her as far as the edge of the water. We crossed the tangle of fern and bracken, bramble and wild-raspberry canes that spread in the open space before the house, and we went down the grassy slope to the edge of Nethermere. The wind whipped up noisy little wavelets, and the cluck and clatter of these among the pebbles, the swish of the rushes and the freshening of the breeze against our faces, roused us.
The tall meadow-sweet was in bud along the tiny beach and we walked knee-deep among it, watching the foamy race of the ripples and the whitening of the willows on the far shore. At the place where Nethermere narrows to the upper end, and receives the brook from Strelley, the wood sweeps down and stands with its feet washed round with waters. We broke our way along the shore, crushing the sharp-scented wild mint, whose odour checks the breath, and examining here and there among the marshy places ragged nests of water-fowl, now deserted. Some slim young lapwings started at our approach, and sped lightly from us, their necks outstretched in straining fear of that which could not hurt them. One, two, fled cheeping into cover of the wood; almost instantly they coursed back again to where we stood, to dart off from us at an angle, in an ecstasy of bewilderment and terror.
"What had frightened the crazy little things?" asked Lettie.
"I don't know. They've cheek enough sometimes; then they go whining, skelping off from a fancy as if they had a snake under their wings."
Lettie, however, paid small attention to my eloquence. She pushed aside an elder bush, which graciously showered down upon her myriad crumbs from its flowers like slices of bread, and bathed her in a medicinal scent. I followed her, taking my dose, and was startled to hear her sudden, "Oh, Cyril!"
On the bank before us lay a black cat, both hind paws torn and bloody in a trap. It had no doubt been bounding forward after its prey when it was caught. It was gaunt and wild; no wonder it frightened the poor lapwings into cheeping hysteria. It glared at us fiercely, growling low.
"How cruel--oh, how cruel!" cried Lettie, shuddering.
I wrapped my cap and Lettie's scarf over my hands and bent to open the trap. The cat struck with her teeth, tearing the cloth convulsively. When it was free, it sprang away with one bound, and fell panting, watching us.
I wrapped the creature in my jacket, and picked her up, murmuring:
"Poor Mrs Nickie Ben--we always prophesied it of you."
"What will you do with it?" asked Lettie.
"It is one of the Strelley Mill cats," said I, "and so I'll take her home."
The poor animal moved and murmured and I carried her, but we brought her home. They stared, on seeing me enter the kitchen coatless, carrying a strange bundle, while Lettie followed me.
"I have brought poor Mrs Nickie Ben," said I, unfolding my burden.
"Oh, what a shame!" cried Emily, putting out her hand to touch the cat, but drawing quickly back, like the peewits. "This is how they all go," said the mother.
"I wish keepers had to sit two or three days with their bare ankles in a trap," said Mollie in vindictive tones.
We laid the poor brute on the rug, and gave it warm milk. It drank very little, being too feeble. Mollie, full of anger, fetched Mr Nickie Ben, another fine black cat, to survey his crippled mate. Mr Nickie Ben looked, shrugged his sleek shoulders, and walked away with high steps. There was a general feminine outcry on masculine callousness.
George came in for hot water. He exclaimed in surprise on seeing us, and his eyes became animated.
"Look at Mrs Nickie Ben," cried Mollie. He dropped on his knees on the rug and lifted the wounded paws.
"Broken," said he.
"How awful!" said Emily, shuddering violently, and leaving the room.
"Both?" I asked.
"Only one--look!"
"You are hurting her!" cried Lettie.
"It's no good," said he.
Mollie and the mother hurried out of the kitchen into the parlour.
"What are you going to do?" asked Lettie.
"Put her out of her misery," he replied, taking up the poor cat. We followed him into the barn.
"The quickest way," said he, "is to swing her round and knock her head against the wall."
"You make me sick," exclaimed Lettie.
"I'll drown her then," he said with a smile. We watched him morbidly, as he took a length of twine and fastened a noose round the animal's neck, and near it an iron goose; he kept a long piece of cord attached to the goose.
"You're not coming, are you?" said he. Lettie looked at him; she had grown rather white.
"It'll make you sick," he said. She did not answer, but followed him across the yard to the garden. On the bank of the lower millpond he turned again to us and said:
"Now for it!--you are chief mourners." As neither of us replied, he smiled, and dropped the poor writhing cat into the water, saying, "Good-bye, Mrs Nickie Ben."
We waited on the bank some time. He eyed us curiously. "Cyril," said Lettie quietly, "isn't it cruel?--isn't it awful?" I had nothing to say.
"Do you mean me?" asked George.
"Not you in particular--everything! If we move the blood rises in our heel-prints."
He looked at her seriously, with dark eyes.
"I had to drown her out of mercy," said he, fastening the cord he held to an ash-pole. Then he went to get a spade, and with it, he dug a grave in the old black earth.
"If," said he, "the poor old cat had made a prettier corpse, you'd have thrown violets on her."
He had struck the spade into the ground, and hauled pup the iron goose.
"Well," he said, surveying the hideous object, "haven't her good looks gone! She was a fine cat."
"Bury it and have done," Lettie replied.
He did so asking: "Shall you have bad dreams after it?"
"Dreams do not trouble me," she answered, turning away.
We went indoors, into the parlour, where Emily sat by a window, biting her finger. The room was long and not very high; there was a great rough beam across the ceiling. On the mantelpiece, and in the fireplace, and over the piano were wild flowers and fresh leaves plentifully scattered; the room was cool with the scent of the woods.
"Has he done it?" asked Emily--"and did you watch him? If I had seen it I should have hated the sight of him, and I'd rather have touched a maggot than him."
"I shouldn't be particularly pleased if he touched me," said Lettie.
"There is something so loathsome about callousness and brutality," said Emily. "He fills me with disgust."
"Does he?" said Lettie, smiling coldly. She went across to the old piano. "He's only healthy. He's never been sick, not anyway, yet." She sat down and played at random, letting the numbed notes fall like dead leaves from the haughty, ancient piano.
Emily and I talked oh by the widow, about books and people. She was intensely serious, and generally succeeded in reducing me to the same state.
After a while, when the milking and feeding were finished, George came in. Lettie was still playing the piano. He asked her why she didn't play something with a tune in it, and this caused her to turn round in her chair to give him a withering answer. His appearance, however, scattered her words like startled birds. He had come straight from washing in the scullery, to the parlour, and he stood behind Lettie's chair, unconcernedly wiping the moisture from his arms. His sleeves were rolled up to the shoulder, and his shirt was opened wide at the breast. Lettie was somewhat taken aback by the sight of him standing with legs apart, dressed in dirty leggings and boots, and breeches torn at the knee, naked at the breast and arms.
"Why don't you play something with a tune in it?" he repeated, rubbing the towel over his shoulders beneath the shirt.
"A tune!" she echoed, watching the swelling of his arms as he moved them, and the rise and fall of his breasts, wonderfully solid and white. Then having curiously examined the sudden meeting of the sun-hot skin with the white flesh in his throat, her eyes met his, and she turned again to the piano, while the colour grew in her ears, mercifully sheltered by a profusion of bright curls.
"What shall I play?" she asked, fingering the keys somewhat confusedly.
He dragged out a book of songs from a little heap of music, and set it before her.
"Which do you want to sing?" she asked, thrilling a little as she felt his arms so near her.
"Anything you like."
"A love song?" she said.
"If you like--yes, a love song--" he laughed with clumsy insinuation that made the girl writhe.
She did not answer, but began to play Sullivan's "Tit Willow". He had a passable bass voice, not of any great depth, and he sang with gusto. Then she gave him "Drink to me only with thine eyes". At the end she turned and asked him if he liked the words. He replied that he thought them rather daft. But he looked at her with glowing brown eyes, as if in hesitating challenge.
"That's because you have no wine in your eyes to pledge with," she replied, answering his challenge with a blue blaze of her eyes. Then her eyelashes drooped on to her cheek. He laughed with a faint ring of consciousness, and asked her how could she know.
"Because," she said slowly, looking up at him with pretended scorn, "because there's no change in your eyes when I look at you. I always think people who are worth much talk with their eyes. That's why you are forced to respect many quite uneducated people. Their eyes are so eloquent, and full of knowledge." She had continued to look at him as she spoke--watching his faint appreciation of her upturned face, and her hair, where the light was always tangled, watching his brief self-examination to see if he could feel any truth in her words, watching till he broke into a little laugh which was rather more awkward and less satisfied than usual. Then she turned away, smiling also.
"There's nothing in this book nice to sing," she said, turning over the leaves discontentedly. I found her a volume, and she sang "Should he upbraid". She had a fine soprano voice, and the song delighted him. He moved nearer to her, and when at the finish she looked round with a flashing, mischievous air, she found him pledging her with wonderful eyes.
"You like that," said she with the air of superior knowledge, as if, dear me, all one had to do was to turn over to the right page of the vast volume of one's soul to suit these people.
"I do," he answered emphatically, thus acknowledging her triumph.
"I'd rather 'dance and sing' round 'wrinkled care' than carefully shut the door on him, while I slept in the chimney-seat wouldn't you?" she asked.
He laughed, and began to consider what she meant before he replied.
"As you do," she added.
"What?" he asked.
"Keep half your senses asleep--half alive."
"Do I?" he asked.
"Of course you do;--'bos bovis; an ox.' You are like a stalled ox, food and comfort, no more. Don't you love comfort?" she smiled.
"Don't you?" he replied, smiling shamefaced.
"Of course. Come and turn over for me while I play this piece. Well, I'll nod when you must turn--bring a chair." She began to play a romance of Schubert's. He leaned nearer to her to take hold of the leaf of music; she felt her loose hair touch his face, and turned to him a quick, laughing glance, while she played. At the end of the page she nodded, but he was oblivious; "Yes!" she said, suddenly impatient, and he tried to get the leaf over; she quickly pushed his hand aside, turned the page herself and continued playing.
"Sorry!" said he, blushing actually.
"Don't bother," she said, continuing to play without observing him. When she had finished:
"There!" she said, "now tell me how you felt while I was playing."
"Oh--a fool!"--he replied, covered with confusion.
"I'm glad to hear it," she said--"but I didn't mean that. I meant how did the music make you feel?"
"I don't know--whether--it made me feel anything," he replied deliberately, pondering over his answer, as usual.
"I tell you," she declared, "you're either asleep or stupid. Did you really see nothing in the music? But what did you think about?"
He laughed--and thought awhile--and laughed again.
"Why!" he admitted, laughing, and trying to tell the exact truth, "I thought how pretty your hands are--and what they are like to touch--and I thought it was a new experience to feel somebody's hair tickling my cheek." When he had finished his deliberate account she gave his hand a little knock, and left him saying:
"You are worse and worse."
She came across the room to the couch where I was sitting talking to Emily, and put her arm around my neck.
"Isn't it time to go home, Pat?" she asked.
"Half-past eight--quite early," said I.
"But I believe--I think I ought to be home now," she said. "Don't go," said he.
"Why?" I asked.
"Stay to supper," urged Emily.
"But I believe--" she hesitated.
"She has another fish to fry," I said.
"I am not sure--" she hesitated again. Then she flashed into sudden wrath, exclaiming, "Don't be so mean and nasty, Cyril!"
"Were you going somewhere?" asked George humbly. "Why--no!" she said, blushing.
"Then stay to supper--will you?" he begged. She laughed, and yielded. We went into the kitchen. Mr. Saxton was sitting reading. Trip, the big bull terrier, lay at his feet pretending to sleep; Mr Nickie Ben reposed calmly on the sofa; Mrs Saxton and Mollie were just going to bed. We bade them good night, and sat down. Annie, the servant, had gone home, so Emily prepared the supper.
"Nobody can touch that piano like you," said Mr Saxton to Lettie, beaming upon her with admiration and deference. He was proud of the stately, mumbling old thing, and used to say that it was full of music for those that liked to ask for it. Lettie laughed, and said that so few folks ever tried it, that her honour was not great.
"What do you think of our George's singing?" asked the father proudly, but with a deprecating laugh at the end.
"I tell him, when he's in love he'll sing quite well," she said.
"When he's in love!" echoed the father, laughing aloud, very pleased.
"Yes," she said, "when he finds out something he wants and can't have."
George thought about it, and he laughed also.
Emily, who was laying the table, said, "There is hardly any water in the pippin, George."
"Oh, dash!" he exclaimed, "I've taken my boots off."
"It's not a very big job to put them on again," said his sister. "Why couldn't Annie fetch it--what's she here for?" he said angrily.
Emily looked at us, tossed her head, and turned her back on him.
"I'll go, I'll go, after supper," said the father in a comforting tone.
"After supper!" laughed Emily.
George got up and shuffled out. He had to go into the spinney near the house to a well, and being warm disliked turning out.
We had just sat down to supper when Trip rushed barking to the door. "Be quiet," ordered the father, thinking of those in bed, and he followed the dog.
It was Leslie. He wanted Lettie to go home with him at once. This she refused to do, so he came indoors, and was persuaded to sit down at table. He swallowed a morsel of bread and cheese, and a cup of coffee, talking to Lettie of a garden party which was going to be arranged at Highclose for the following week.
"What is it for then?" interrupted Mr Saxton.
"For?" echoed Leslie.
"Is it for the missionaries, or the unemployed, or something?" explained Mr Saxton.
"It's a garden-party, not a bazaar," said Leslie.
"Oh--a private affair. I thought it would be some church matter of your mother's. She's very big at the church, isn't she?"
"She is interested in the church--yes!" said Leslie, then proceeding to explain to Lettie that he was arranging a tennis tournament in which she was to take part. At this point he became aware that he was monopolising the conversation, and turned to George, just as the latter was taking a piece of cheese from his knife with his teeth, asking:
"Do you play tennis, Mr Saxton?--I know Miss Saxton does not."
"No," said George, working the piece of cheese into his cheek. "I never learned any ladies' accomplishments."
Leslie turned to Emily, who had nervously been pushing two plates over a stain in the cloth, and who was very startled when she found herself addressed.
"My mother would be so glad if you would come to the party, Miss Saxton."
"I cannot. I shall be at school. Thanks very much."
"Ah--it's very good of you," said the father, beaming. But George smiled contemptuously.
When supper was over Leslie looked at Lettie to inform her that he was ready to go. She, however, refused to see his look, but talked brightly to Mr Saxton, who was delighted. George, flattered, joined in the talk with gusto. Then Leslie's angry silence began to tell on us all. After a dull lapse, George lifted his head and said to his father:
"Oh, I shouldn't be surprised if that little red heifer calved tonight."
Lettie's eyes flashed with a sparkle of amusement at this thrust.
"No," assented the father, "I thought so myself."
After a moment's silence, George continued deliberately, "I felt her gristles--"
"George!" said Emily sharply.
"We will go," said Leslie.
George looked up sideways at Lettie and his black eyes were full of sardonic mischief.
"Lend me a shawl, will you, Emily?" said Lettie. "I brought nothing, and I think the wind is cold."
Emily, however, regretted that she had no shawl, and so Lettie must needs wear a black coat over her summer dress. It fitted so absurdly that we all laughed, but Leslie was very angry that she should appear ludicrous before them. He showed her all the polite attentions possible, fastened the neck of her coat with his pearl scarf-pin, refusing the pin Emily discovered, after some search. Then we sallied forth.
When we were outside, he offered Lettie his arm with an air of injured dignity. She refused it and he began to remonstrate. "I consider you ought to have been home as you promised."
"Pardon me." she replied, "but I did not promise."
"But you knew I was coming," said he.
"Well--you found me," she retorted.
"Yes," he assented. "I did find you; flirting with a common fellow," he sneered.
"Well," she returned. "He did--it is true--call a heifer, a heifer."
"And I should think you liked it," he said.
"I didn't mind," she said, with galling negligence.
"I thought your taste was more refined," he replied sarcastically. "But I suppose you thought it romantic."
"Very! Ruddy, dark, and really thrilling eyes," said she.
"I hate to hear a girl talk rot," said Leslie. He himself had crisp hair of the "ginger" class.
"But I mean it," she insisted, aggravating his anger. Leslie was angry. "I'm glad he amuses you!"
"Of course, I'm not hard to please," she said pointedly. He was stung to the quick.
"Then there's some comfort in knowing I don't please you," he said coldly.
"Oh! but you do! You amuse me also," she said.
After that he would not speak, preferring, I suppose, not to amuse her.
Lettie took my arm, and with her disengaged hand held her skirts above the wet grass. When he had left us at the end of the riding in the wood, Lettie said:
"What an infant he is!"
"A bit of an ass," I admitted.
"But really!" she said, "he's more agreeable on the whole than--than my Taurus."
"Your bull!" I repeated, laughing.
The Sunday following Lettie's visit to the mill, Leslie came up in the morning, admirably dressed, and perfected by a grand air. I showed him into the dark drawing-room, and left him. Ordinarily he would have wandered to the stairs, and sat there calling to Lettie; today he was silent. I carried the news of his arrival to my sister, who was pinning on her brooch.
"And how is the dear boy?" she asked.
"I have not inquired," said I.
She laughed, and loitered about till it was time to set off for church before she came downstairs. Then she also assumed the grand air and bowed to him with a beautiful bow. He was somewhat taken aback and had nothing to say. She rustled across the room to the window, where the white geraniums grew magnificently. "I must adorn myself," she said.
It was Leslie's custom to bring her flowers. As he had not done so this day, she was piqued. He hated the scent and chalky whiteness of the geraniums. So she smiled at him as she pinned them into the bosom of her dress, saying:
"They are very fine, are they not?"
He muttered that they were. Mother came downstairs, greeted him warmly, and asked him if he would take her to church.
"If you will allow me," said he.
"You are modest today," laughed Mother.
"Today!" he repeated.
"I hate modesty in a young man," said Mother--"Come, we shall be late." Lettie wore the geraniums all day--till evening. She brought Alice Gall home to tea, and bade me bring up "Mon Taureau", when his farm work was over.
The day had been hot and close. The sun was reddening in the west as we leaped across the lesser brook. The evening scents began to awake, and wander unseen through the still air. An occasional yellow sunbeam would slant through the thick roof of leaves and cling passionately to the orange clusters of mountain-ash berries. The trees were silent, drawing together to sleep. Only a few pink orchids stood palely by the path, looking wistfully out at the ranks of red-purple bugle, whose last flowers, glowing from the top of the bronze column, yearned darkly for the sun.
We sauntered on in silence, not breaking the first hush of the woodlands. As we drew near home we heard a murmur from among the trees, from the lover's seat, where a great tree had fallen and remained mossed and covered with fragile growth. There a crooked bough made a beautiful seat for two.
"Fancy being in love and making a row in such a twilight," said I as we continued our way. But when we came opposite the fallen tree, we saw no lovers there, but a man sleeping, and muttering through his sleep. The cap had fallen from his grizzled hair, and his head leaned back against a profusion of the little wild geraniums that decorated the dead bough so delicately. The man's clothing was good, but slovenly and neglected. His face was pale and worn with sickness and dissipation. As he slept, his grey beard wagged, and his loose unlovely mouth moved in indistinct speech. He was acting over again some part of his life, and his features twitched during the unnatural sleep. He would give a little groan, gruesome to hear, and then talk to some woman. His features twitched as if with pain, and he moaned slightly.
The lips opened in a grimace, showing the yellow teeth behind the beard. Then he began again talking in his throat, thickly, so that we could only tell part of what he said. It was very unpleasant. I wondered how we should end it. Suddenly through the gloom of the twilight-haunted woods came the scream of a rabbit caught by a weasel. The man awoke with a sharp "Ah!"--he looked round in consternation, then sinking down again wearily, said, "I was dreaming again."
"You don't seem to have nice dreams," said George.
The man winced then, looking at us, said, almost sneering: "And who are you?"
We did not answer, but waited for him to move. He sat still, looking at us.
"So!" he said at last, wearily, "I do dream. I do, I do." He sighed heavily. Then he added, sarcastically, "Were you interested?"
"No," said I. "But you are out of your way surely. Which road did you want?"
"You want me to clear out," he said.
"Well," I said, laughing in deprecation, "I don't mind your dreaming. But this is not the way to anywhere."
"Where may you be going then?" he asked.
"I? Home," I replied with dignity.
"You are a Beardsall?" he queried, eyeing me with bloodshot eyes.
"I am!" I replied with more dignity, wondering who the fellow could be.
He sat a few moments looking at me. It was getting dark in the wood. Then he took up an ebony stick with a gold head, and rose. The stick seemed to catch at my imagination. I watched it curiously as we walked with the old man along the path to the gate. We went with him into the open road. When we reached the clear sky where the light from the west fell full on our faces, he turned again and looked at us closely. His mouth opened sharply, as if he would speak, but he stopped himself, and only said, "Good-bye--Good-bye."
"Shall you be all right?" I asked, seeing him totter. "Yes--all right--good-bye, lad."
He walked away feebly into the darkness. We saw the lights of a vehicle on the high-road: after a while we heard the bang of a door, and a cab rattled away.
"Well--whoever's he?" said George, laughing.
"Do you know," said I, "it's made me feel a bit rotten."
"Ay?" he laughed, turning up the end of the exclamation with indulgent surprise.
We went back home, deciding to say nothing to the women. They were sitting in the window seat watching for us, Mother and Alice and Lettie.
"You have been a long time!" said Lettie. "We've watched the sun go down--it set splendidly--look--the rim of the hill is smouldering yet. What have you been doing?"
"Waiting till your Taurus finished work."
"Now be quiet," she said hastily, and--turning to him--"You have come to sing hymns?"
"Anything you like," he replied.
"How nice of you, George!" exclaimed Alice, ironically. She was a short, plump girl, pale, with daring, rebellious eyes. Her mother was a Wyld, a family famous either for shocking lawlessness, or for extreme uprightness. Alice, with an admirable father, and a mother who loved her husband passionately, was wild and lawless on the surface, but at heart very upright and amenable. My mother and she were fast friends, and Lettie had a good deal of sympathy with her. But Lettie generally deplored Alice's outrageous behaviour, though she relished it--if "superior" friends were not present. Most men enjoyed Alice in company, but they fought shy of being alone with her.
"Would you say the same to me?" she asked.
"It depends what you'd answer," he said, laughingly.
"Oh, you're so bloomin' cautious. I'd rather have a tack in my shoe than a cautious man, wouldn't you, Lettie?"
"Well--it depends how far I had to walk," was Lettie's reply--"but if I hadn't to limp too far----"
Alice turned away from Lettie, whom she often found rather irritating.
"You do look glum, Sybil," she said to me, "did somebody want to kiss you?"
I laughed--on the wrong side, understanding her malicious feminine reference--and answered:
"If they had, I should have looked happy."
"Dear boy, smile now then"--and she tipped me under the chin. I drew away.
"Oh, Gum--we are solemn! What's the matter with you? Georgie--say something--else I's'll begin to feel nervous."
"What shall I say?" he asked, shifting his feet and resting his elbows on his knees. "Oh, Lor!" she cried in great impatience. He did not help her, but sat clasping his hands, smiling on one side of his face. He was nervous. He looked at the pictures, the ornaments, and everything in the room; Lettie got up to settle some flowers on the mantelpiece, and he scrutinised her closely. She was dressed in some blue foulard stuff, with lace at the throat, and lace cuffs to the elbow. She was tall and supple; her hair had a curling fluffiness very charming. He was no taller than she, and looked shorter, being strongly built. He too had a grace of his own, but not as he sat stiffly on a horse-hair chair. She was elegant in her movements.
After a little while Mother called us in to supper.
"Come," said Lettie to him, "take me in to supper." He rose, feeling very awkward.
"Give me your arm," said she to tease him. He did so, and flushed under his tan, afraid of her round arm half hidden by lace, which lay among his sleeve.
When we were seated she flourished her spoon and asked him what he would have. He hesitated, looked at the strange dishes, and said he would have some cheese. They insisted on his eating new, complicated meats.
"I'm sure you like tantafflins, don't you, Georgie?" said Alice, in her mocking fashion. He was not sure. He could not analyse the flavours, he felt confused and bewildered even through his sense of taste! Alice begged him to have salad.
"No, thanks," said he. "I don't like it."
"Oh, George!" she said. "How can you say so when I'm offering it you."
"Well--I've only had it once," said he, "and that was when I was working with Flint, and he gave us fat bacon and bits of lettuce soaked in vinegar--'Ave a bit more salt,' he kept saying, but I'd had enough."
"But all our lettuce," said Alice with a wink, "is as sweet as a nut, no vinegar about our lettuce." George laughed in much confusion at her pun on my sister's name.
"I believe you," he said, with pompous gallantry.
"Think of that!" cried Alice. "Our Georgie believes me. Oh, I am so, so pleased!"
He smiled painfully. His hand was resting on the table, the thumb tucked tight under the fingers, his knuckles white as he nervously gripped his thumb. At last supper was finished, and he picked up his serviette from the floor and began to fold it. Lettie also seemed ill at ease. She had teased him till the sense of his awkwardness had become uncomfortable. Now she felt sorry, and a trifle repentant, so she went to the piano, as she always did to dispel her moods. When she was angry she played tender fragments of Tchaikovsky, when she was miserable, Mozart. Now she played Handel in a manner that suggested the plains of heaven in the long notes, and in the little trills as if she were waltzing up the ladder of Jacob's dream like the damsels in Blake's pictures. I often told her she flattered herself scandalously through the piano; but generally she pretended not to understand me, and occasionally she surprised me by a sudden rush of tears to her eyes. For George's sake, she played Gounod's "Ave Maria", knowing that the sentiment of the chant would appeal to him, and make him sad, forgetful of the petty evils of this life. I smiled as I watched the cheap spell working. When she had finished, her fingers lay motionless for a minute on the keys, then she spun round, and looked him straight in the eyes, giving promise of a smile. But she glanced down at her knee.
"You are tired of music," she said.
"No," he replied, shaking his head.
"Like it better than salad?" she asked with a flash of raillery.
He looked up at her with a sudden smile, but did not reply. He was not handsome; his features were too often in a heavy repose; but when he looked up and smiled unexpectedly, he flooded her with an access of tenderness.
"Then you'll have a little more," said she, and she turned again to the piano. She played soft, wistful morsels, then suddenly broke off in the midst of one sentimental plaint, and left the piano, dropping into a low chair by the fire. There she sat and looked at him. He was conscious that her eyes were fixed on him, but he dared not look back at her, so he pulled his moustache.
"You are only a boy, after all," she said to him quietly. Then he turned and asked her why.
"It is a boy that you are," she repeated, leaning back in her chair, and smiling lazily at him.
"I never thought so," he replied seriously.
"Really?" she said, chuckling.
"No," said he, trying to recall his previous impressions. She laughed heartily, saying:
"You're growing up."
"How?" he asked.
"Growing up," she repeated, still laughing.
"But I'm sure I was never boyish," said he.
"I'm teaching you," said she, "and when you're boyish you'll be a very decent man. A mere man daren't be a boy for fear of tumbling off his manly dignity, and then he'd be a fool, poor thing."
He laughed, and sat still to think about it, as was his way. "Do you like pictures?" she asked suddenly, being tired of looking at him.
"Better than anything," he replied.
"Except dinner, and a warm hearth and a lazy evening," she said.
He looked at her suddenly, hardening at her insult, and biting his lips at the taste of this humiliation. She repented, and smiled her plaintive regret to him.
"I'll show you some," she said, rising and going out of the room. He felt he was nearer her. She returned, carrying a pile of great books.
"Jove--you're pretty strong!" said he.
"You are charming in your compliment," she said. He glanced at her to see if she were mocking.
"That's the highest you could say of me, isn't it?" she insisted.
"Is it?" he asked, unwilling to compromise himself.
"For sure," she answered--and then, laying the books on the table, "I know how a man will compliment me by the way he looks at me"--she kneeled before the fire. "Some look at my hair, some watch the rise and fall of my breathing, some look at my neck, and a few--not you among them--look me in the eyes for my thoughts. To you, I'm a fine specimen, strong! Pretty strong! You primitive man!"
He sat twisting his fingers; she was very contrary.
"Bring your chair up," she said, sitting down at the table and opening a book. She talked to him of each picture, insisting on hearing his opinion. Sometimes he disagreed with her and would not be persuaded. At such times she was piqued.
"If," said she, "an ancient Briton in his skins came and contradicted me as you do, wouldn't you tell him not to make an ass of himself?"
"I don't know," said he.
"Then you ought to," she replied. "You know nothing."
"How is it you ask me then?" he said.
She began to laugh.
"Why--that's a pertinent question. I think you might be rather nice, you know."
"Thank you," he said, smiling ironically.
"Oh!" she said. "I know, you think you're perfect, but you're not, you're very annoying."
"Yes," exclaimed Alice, who had entered the room again, dressed ready to depart. "He's so blooming slow! Great whizz! Who wants fellows to carry cold dinners? Shouldn't you like to shake him, Lettie?"
"I don't feel concerned enough," replied the other calmly. "Did you ever carry a boiled pudding, Georgie?" asked Alice with innocent interest, punching me slyly.
"Me!--why?--what makes you ask?" he replied, quite at a loss.
"Oh, I only wondered if your people needed any indigestion mixture--Pa mixes it--1/1½ a bottle."
"I don't see--" he began.
"Ta--ta, old boy, I'll give you time to think about it. Good night, Lettie. Absence makes the heart grow fonder--Georgie--of someone else. Farewell. Come along, Sybil love, the moon is shining--Good night all, good night!"
I escorted her home, while they continued to look at the pictures. He was a romanticist. He liked Copley, Fielding, Cattermole and Birket Foster; he could see nothing whatsoever in Girtin or David Cox. They fell out decidedly over George Clausen.
"But," said Lettie, "he is a real realist, he makes common things beautiful, he sees the mystery and magnificence that envelops us even when we work menially. I do know and I can speak. If I hoed in the fields beside you--" This was a very new idea for him, almost a shock to his imagination, and she talked unheeded. The picture under discussion was a water-colour--"Hoeing" by Clausen.
"You'd be just that colour in the sunset," she said, thus bringing him back to the subject, "and if you looked at the ground you'd find there was a sense of warm gold fire in it, and once you'd perceived the colour, it would strengthen till you'd see nothing else. You are blind; you are only half-born; you are gross with good living and heavy sleeping. You are a piano which will only play a dozen common notes. Sunset is nothing to you--it merely happens anywhere. Oh, but you make me feel as if I'd like to make you suffer. If you'd ever been sick; if you'd ever been born into a home where there was something oppressed you, and you couldn't understand; if ever you'd believed, or even doubted, you might have been a man by now. You never grow up, like bulbs which spend all summer getting fat and fleshy, but never wakening the germ of a flower. As for me, the flower is born in me, but it wants bringing forth. Things don't flower if they're overfed. You have to suffer before you blossom in this life. When death is just touching a plant, it forces it into a passion of flowering. You wonder how I have touched death. You don't know. There's always a sense of death in this home. I believe my mother hated my father before I was born. That was death in her veins for me before I was born. It makes a difference--"
As he sat listening, his eyes grew wide and his lips were parted, like a child who feels the tale but does not understand the words. She, looking away from herself at last, saw him, began to laugh gently, and patted his hand, saying:
"Oh! my dear heart, are you bewildered? How amiable of you to listen to me--there isn't any meaning in it all--there isn't really!"
"But," said he, "why do you say it?"
"Oh, the question!" she laughed. "Let us go back to our muttons, we're gazing at each other like two dazed images." They turned on, chatting casually, till George suddenly exclaimed, "There!"
It was Maurice Griffinhagen's "Idyll".
"What of it?" she asked, gradually flushing. She remembered her own enthusiasm over the picture.
"Wouldn't it be fine?" he exclaimed, looking at her with glowing eyes, his teeth showing white in a smile that was not amusement.
"What?" she asked, dropping her head in confusion. "That--a girl like that--half afraid--and passion!" He lit up curiously.
"She may well be half afraid, when the barbarian comes out in his glory, skins and all."
"But don't you like it?" he asked.
She shrugged her shoulders, saying, "Make love to the next girl you meet, and by the time the poppies redden the field, she'll hang in your arms. She'll have need to be more than half afraid, won't she?"
She played with the leaves of the book, and did not look at him.
"But," he faltered, his eyes glowing, "it would be--rather--"
"Don't, sweet lad, don't!" she cried, laughing.
"But I shouldn't--" he insisted. "I don't know whether I should like any girl I know to--"
"Precious Sir Galahad," she said in a mock caressing voice, and stroking his cheek with her finger, "you ought to have been a monk--a martyr, a Carthusian."
He laughed, taking no notice. He was breathlessly quivering under the new sensation of heavy, unappeased fire in his breast, and in the muscles of his arms. He glanced at her bosom and shivered.
"Are you studying just how to play the part?" she asked.
"No--but--" he tried to look at her, but failed. He shrank, laughing, and dropped his head.
"What?" she asked with vibrant curiosity.
Having become a few degrees calmer, he looked up at her now, his eyes wide and vivid with a declaration that made her shrink back as if flame had leaped towards her face. She bent down her head and picked at her dress.
"Didn't you know the picture before?" she said, in a low, toneless voice.
He shut his eyes and shrank with shame.
"No, I've never seen it before," he said.
"I'm surprised," she said. "It is a very common one."