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A black gay man living in fear and anxiety. Afraid of the world he was born into and a culture that will not accept the way he loves. A same-gender-loving man despite the odds finds a way to live in peace in a world that would like to see him conformed to their way of believing.
When I look at the world today and see the struggles of people who want to live in peace and are led by religions that don't cater to the peace that they are looking for. I feel the need to help in a peaceful way.
I have been through the religious struggle of trying to find the freedom of self and creator. When being a gay black man in a religion that shuns such ideas of relationship, it is difficult to find peace.
Today I found a freedom and a relationship with the Creator based on truth being the Creator and me being created. I live now in a peaceful understanding of mind, body, and spirit. I want to help others find that inner peace with the creator being truth so they can live their best lives and be their best selves
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Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2020
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Tyrone's Life from Anxiety To Peace with the Creator of Creation
I dedicate this book to the Creator of Creation, where my true peace comes from.BookRix GmbH & Co. KG81371 MunichTyrone's Life from Anxiety to Peace with the Creator of Creation
Tyrone’s Life From Anxiety To Peace with the Creator of Creation
Chapter 1
Who Am I?
Chapter 2
Life Choices
Chapter 3
Starting Over Again
Chapter 4
The Beginning
Chapter 5
Seven Parts Working Together for One Truth
Chapter 6
Truth Pattern Is
Chapter 7
Application
Chapter 8
My Actual Creator
Chapter 9
Moving Along
Chapter 10
Creator and I are One
Chapter 11
Creator Day One
Chapter 12
Creator Day Two
Chapter 13
Creator Day Three
Chapter 14
Creator Day Four
Chapter 15
Creator Day Five
Chapter 16
Creator Day Six
Chapter 17
Creator Day Seven
References
Contact and Media Information
Chapter 1
Who Am I?
Hello, my name is Tyrone Crew, and I am attempting to write about my life. My hope is to convey a life that went from anxiety to living in peace. The contents of this book are my personal experiences and perspectives that I have had from childhood to adulthood. I will be writing only about the life-changing parts as not to convey the obvious of everyday life that everyone already knows all too well.
I was born on June 18, 1974, at a metro hospital in Cleveland, Ohio to a caring mother by the name of Lizzie. I am the only son and I have 3 sisters, one older and two youngers. Some of my first memories as a child were of a place where I lived in Cleveland on a street called Gruss. I was about seven and I lived in a neighborhood where everyone knew each other. I lived in a time where the parents in the neighborhood could discipline a child and then take them home to be disciplined again by their parent or parents. The kids of the neighborhood all played together. We played Kickball, Football, Double Dutch (which is a jump rope game using two ropes instead of one) and Hide and Go Seek, and last but not least Freeze Tag.
My Aunt Constance who is eleven years older than me at the time taught me flipping (gymnastics). She taught me cartwheels, round-offs, front flips, and handstands which included walking on your hands. I tried backflips but I was afraid of the speed. Flipping backward onto the hands without looking was scary for me. I could do a slow backflip by bending backward on my hands and flipping back to the front but trying to that while running and just flip backward was petrifying for me. She told me just to keep practicing and I would get it and I never did any fault of her own.
I played more with the girls than with the guys because the guys wanted to wrestle and fight to see who was the strongest. The girls like line dancing, creating new dance moves, and playing hopscotch. We also caught bugs and put them in jars. I even remember having a magnifying glass and using it to see ants and found out that the sun can burn them if you focus the sunlight on them, and you could also sting your hands as well.
My favorite game to play as a child was Jacks. The game is played with two or more players. There were ten little spiky looking objects You had to bounce a little ball with one hand and catch it while picking up a jack with the other hand. You would bounce the ball again and pick up two jacks before the ball came down again. You had to do this for ten rounds and if you missed it was the next person’s turn. You would play until one player could grab all ten jacks before the ball came back down again. I was good at this game until the older kids would play with us. I then felt like a novice because they had bigger hands to scoop up the jacks. I still had fun though.
My awareness of God started around that time about when I was seven. My mom believed there was a God and she taught us to choose what was right for us and not let people tell us what to choose. In the neighborhood, there were Jehovah's Witnesses which were different than the people who went to Church. I did not understand the difference until later in life. I visited a church with the family down the street. When we went into the building we went downstairs to the basement and on the stairs, there was a big bug and when I saw it I said oh shit, and the kids look at me and said ooo you cussed, (I learned the word from listening to adults talk to each other, so you know how kids will mimic their parents and cuss as if they are adults, well that is what had happened).
We continued down the stairs and went into a room that had many tables like a dining hall. We sat down and the kids started telling me that God was going to kill me as punishment for cursing at church. I asked what can I do I was sorry? They told me to get in the middle of the floor on my knees and ask for forgiveness. I got up and went to the middle of the floor got on my knees and asked God not to kill me. The kids thought it was funny but until this day I still have the feeling that God is watching everything that I am doing. The joke the kids played on me worked for my benefit. I then had an awareness that God is watching what I say and do therefore I should choose my words wisely in the understanding of not offending God. I never talked back to my mom or other adults. I did not want God to kill me.
I notice that the kids were not behaving like good kids, so I started staying in the house more. I figured that If I stayed away from bad kids I would not get in trouble with God. When the kids notice I was staying in the house more and not playing outside they started picking fights with me whenever I came outside. Soon or later we moved away to a different street, not because of the trouble the kids were causing but because my mom always moved us about every two years to a different place
Sometime around eleven or twelve, I figured out I did not like girls sexually. When I started puberty, I used to imagine kissing the guys in my class and I never wanted to be with the girls I wanted to be friends with the guys I liked. When I started being to myself I read the bible a lot because I wanted to be a good person so I could go to heaven and not hell.
I was in my teens at this time of my life and I read about and heard from TV evangelists about homosexuality and how it is wrong for two guys to have sex or like each other in that way. So, I stayed away from the church in fear they would find out about me liking guys. I did not want to be called a sodomite or be accused of going against God. I thought I would stay a virgin and just tell people I am waiting for the right girl to come along to have sex with.
I grew up in neighborhoods where they were selling drugs on the corner. There was also gang activity like The Crips and The Bloods. Every day for me was fear and anxiety over the fact of walking down the street and potentially getting attacked or killed. I would take the long way around as not to be seen by anyone. I was very tall for my age they thought I should play basketball. I was already six feet tall by the time I was twelve years old. People thought I was older than I was. I had been jumped on by a group of guys in the past because of it. I was just walking down the street and there was not enough room for all of us on the sidewalk. So, when I passed by I mistakenly bumped one of their shoulders and then they came up behind me and started punching me and grabbing the bag I had in my arms. They took off running and a lady with her children asked me if I was all right. I was not all right I just wanted to go home to my room.
Someone called the police and they took me in the direction of where the guys ran. People were pointing in the direction of where they went which I thought was remarkably interesting. We caught up to them at the Rapid Station and the police put them on the wall to check for weapons. One of the police officers asked if they were the ones that attacked me? Out of fear they would find me again in the neighborhood and kill me, I told the officer no and they were let go.
