Wandering Hearts E-Book

Dahi Tamara Koch

• Herausgeber: Books on Demand
• Kategorie: Poesie und Drama
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024

Seitenzahl: 63

Beschreibung

Hearts wander through cities and countries, over mountains and oceans to find a home. It is a long journey. A search for sense and sweetness on the journey to oneself and the other. This book reminisces about this journey.

Leseprobe

Contents

Departure

The journey

The world is ablaze

After me, the flood

Long gone days

Minstrels and didicoys

Dream journey

After the rain

Between the lines

Farewell

Renaissance

Shinrin Yoku

Where do I begin – and where will we end?

To the stars

Coming home

The garden of Eden

Arrival

From me to you

Dear reader

Departure

When I was 9, it was the first time that I had this irresistible urge, to just step out of the door and start walking.

Start walking to fulfil my dreams.

Depart to arrive.

To find the place I could call my home.

It was Christmas. We were on our way back from the vesper.

I was sitting in the back seat of our car with my brother.

My father was driving.

And I looked up into the vastness of the cloudless nightly sky and gazed at the evening star shining brightly and which a long-lost love would introduce to me as Betelgeuse many years later.

"One day I will follow this star", I said, rapt in blissful future dreams. "And then I'll walk and walk until I caught up with it. And there I will stay."

"And that's exactly what you will do", said my father.

my feet touch the ground

my evening star

your light shines brightly

on each of my ways

I depart

and follow you

until I find you

and stay

*

every step forward

is a step in the right direction

I want to travel. I want to laugh. I want to live and love and be happy. I want to spend time with my favourite human beings. I want to dance and dance and dance. I want to encounter strangers as if they are friends I do not know yet. I want to see people like they really are. I want deep talk. I want depth. I want to swim through the dark waters in fearlessness. I want to let go of the anger, fear, and hatred that's still remaining in my heart. I want to have a pure soul, to speak only words of truth, and to live that truth in everything I think, and feel, and do. I want to show the people I love that I love them and oh, how I love them they ought to know. I want to show my own inner self. I want the world to see who I am. I want to show the colours, all the colours of my soul, my heart that got rid of all the blackness of the past. I want to be heartfelt emotion, and vulnerability, and strength. I want to be fearlessness. I want to be a rainbow. I want to be a golden queen. I want to be the maze you never ever want to leave. A fairy. A goddess. A woman. I want to be real.

She lives her truth. And she wants to solidify and cherish it and never give up on it again.

She doesn't hide behind what she is anymore. She embraces herself, her emotionality, her vulnerability. Her non-dark heart of many a colour. She has left all the obscure shadows behind. She is full of hope. She cries a lot and laughs even more. And when she loves, she loves with all her soul.

Loving herself made it possible for her to love the other like herself.

She wants to love. She wants to kiss. She wants to travel and live and travel and write and laugh and dream and fulfil. She wants to be poetry and music. She wants to rule this realm called her life. She wants to feel this felicity and pass it over to the ones she loves.

She's in love. In love with this life and in love with the possibilities it offers to her. In love with the chance to find blessedness in everything she does and that's what she will follow up until, if necessary, the very end of the world.

She's looking forward to this journey. And she will depart, without the fears and the shadows of the past. She has detached herself from everything. Only the present is of importance. And she wants to fill it and feel it and walk every path and take everything in to hold it close to her heart and to be present in every little thing she does.

The time of choice in the current.

Free from all that went before.

I don't want to confine myself to what-if's

I want to be bold & brave

*

courage might not open every door

but definitely the right ones

I will wander every way

on my way to the stars

and you

The river of Hades won't water me –

no oblivion will infiltrate me

I will take everything with me

on my way

to carry it aloft to you

and no goodbye is forever

The journey

Which border do you want to cross?

Which land do you long to go to?

Dreams travel further by the riverbank.

Can you hear the lilies grow while the world is fast asleep?

There's a rivulet in the town where I live

where the mandarin ducks walk alongside each other

and I long for us to do the same.

Dreams travel further than feet these days.

Stars shine brighter when you're leaving the city.

– your life longs to be lived

"Paris isn't the city of love", she said.

"Paris is loud and wild – an unrefined frenzy. Paris is

sweeping and swashbuckling."

nothing is easy

but everything is possible

*

you won't find out

until you know it

„Where are you now?“

„On a journey.“

„Nice, where?“

„In my head.“

"I'm old", she said. "Everyone gets old. But that's okay.

Because you're not for quite a long time."

"Exactly. And until you're old, you try to stay young for as long as you can."

it is not about the places –

it's about the people

and the memories you make

Maybe I just belong everywhere.

The world is ablaze

all the warmth

draped in gold

and fire and finery

swathed in snow

wrapped in flames

bathed in mists

veiled in clouds

– the girl with the dragon tattoo

"The dress looks nice on you", he said,

"though it would look better on my floor."

*

we're like coffee and cigarettes

the awakening life

the longing for death

a syllogism of ambiguity

a living contradiction

see me burning

dissolving in the embers

*

let's set fire to our morning skies

Djemaa el Fna.

We wandered through the restless, red alleys, a contorted labyrinth fraught with the myriadfold scent of spices, tajines, and mint.

Palms sit enthroned above my head. The palace in all its sovereign splendour lies before me. The venerable Koutoubia thrones above the rooftops.

The fifth evening prayer sounds in the distance and the sun is going down. It must be getting late. But this ball of fire, high up in the sky doesn't care about all of this, as well as the nearly tangible heat.

It is not surprising that she finds a way from her outside into my inside. With her greedy hands, she grabs for my mind, dulls my senses like the motorcycles that hurtle past us by a hair's breadth in the narrowness of the Medina.

I lie poured into the pillows like Goya's Maja. He wants to preserve the moment, he says. Maybe I shouldn't have emptied my glass of wine that quickly.