Writing for Bliss E-Book

Diana Raab

• Herausgeber: Loving Healing Press
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2017

Seitenzahl: 376

Beschreibung

Writing for Bliss is most fundamentally about reflection, truth, and freedom. With techniques and prompts for both the seasoned and novice writer, it will lead you to

• tap into your creativity through storytelling and poetry,
• examine how life-changing experiences can inspire writing,
• pursue self-examination and self-discovery through the written word, and,
• understand how published writers have been transformed by writing.

"Part writing guide, part memoir, and part love letter to the craft of writing, Diana Raab's Writing for Bliss is a caring and motivational guide. Raab's love of words and her belief in the power of story shine through. With its hypnotic and personal stories, interviews with other authors, and many useful writing prompts, Writing for Bliss will find a valued spot on the bookshelves of those seeking greater understanding."
--ANGELA WOLTMAN, FOREWORD REVIEWS
Poet and memoirist Raab (Lust) credits her lifelong love of writing and its therapeutic effects with inspiring her to write this thoughtful and detailed primer that targets pretty much anyone interested in writing a memoir. Most compelling here is Raab's willingness to share her intimate stories (e.g., the loss of a relative, ongoing struggles with cancer, a difficult relationship with her mother). Her revelations are encouraging to writers who feel they need "permission to take... a voyage of self-discovery." The book's seven-step plan includes plenty of guidance, including on learning to "read like a writer," and on addressing readers as if "seated across the table ." Raab covers big topics such as the "art and power of storytelling" and small details such as choosing pens and notebooks that you enjoy using.
--PUBLISHER'S WEEKLY
"Writing for Bliss is about the profound ways in which we may be transformed in and through the act of writing. I am grateful to Diana Raab for sharing it, and I trust that you will feel the same as you read on. May you savor the journey."
--from the foreword by MARK FREEMAN, PhD
"By listening to ourselves and being aware of what we are saying and feeling, the true story of our life's past experience is revealed. Diana Raab?s book gives us the insights by which we can achieve this through her life-coaching wisdom and our writing."
--BERNIE SIEGEL, MD, author of The Art of Healing
"Only a talented writer who has fought hard to overcome life?s many obstacles could take her readers by the hand and lead them through the writing process with such enormous compassion, amazing insight, and kindness. Diana Raab is a powerful, wise, intelligent guide well worth our following."
--JAMES BROWN, author of The Los Angeles Diaries and The River
"Writing for Bliss is far more than a 'how-to manual'; it enlightens the creative process with wisdom and a delightful sense of adventure. Bravo to Bliss!"
--LINDA GRAY SEXTON, author of Searching for Mercy Street: My Journey Back to My Mother, Anne Sexton
"Uniquely blending inspiring insights with practical advice, Diana guides you on a path to discover the story that is truly inside you?and yearning to be told."
--PATRICK SWEENEY, coauthor of the New York Times bestseller Succeed on Your Own Terms
DIANA RAAB, PhD, is an award-winning memoirist, poet, blogger, workshop facilitator, thought provoker, and survivor. She?s the

Leseprobe

WRITING FOR BLISS

A Seven-Step Plan for Telling Your Story and Transforming Your Life

Diana Raab, PhD

Foreword by Mark Freeman, PhD

Loving Healing Press

Ann Arbor

Writing for Bliss: A Seven-Step Plan for Telling Your Story and Transforming Your Life.

Copyright © 2017 by Diana Raab, PhD. All Rights Reserved.

Foreword by Mark Freeman, PhD.

For a complete list of permissions used, see p. 208

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Raab, Diana, 1954- author.

Title: Writing for bliss : a seven-step plan for telling your story and transforming your life / Diana Raab.

Description: Ann Arbor : Loving Healing Press, 2017. | Includes bibliographical references and index. | Description based on print version record and CIP data provided by publisher; resource not viewed.

Identifiers: LCCN 2016049225 (print) | LCCN 2017011052 (ebook) | ISBN9781615993253 (ePub, PDF, Kindle) | ISBN 9781615993239 (pbk. : alk. paper) | ISBN 9781615993246 (hardcover : alk. paper)

Subjects: LCSH: Autobiography--Authorship. | Biography as a literary form.

Classification: LCC CT25 (ebook) | LCC CT25 .R33 2017 (print) | DDC 808.06/692--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016049225

Published by

Loving Healing Press

5145 Pontiac Trail

Ann Arbor, MI 48105

www.LHPress.com

[email protected]

Tollfree 888-761-6268

Distributed by Ingram Book Group (USA/CAN), Bertrams Books (UK /EU)

Contents

Table of Writing Prompts

Foreword by Mark Freeman, PhD

Acknowledgments

Preface

Introduction Writing for Change

Writing and Bliss

Writing as Therapy

Writing for Healing

Writing for Transformation

How to Use This Book

Step One: Preparing to Write

Becoming a Seeker

Rituals for Writing

Creating a Sacred Space

Grounding

How to Ground Yourself

Feeling Gratitude

The Mind, Body, Spirit Connection and Writing

Calming Your Mind

Being Fearless and Courageous

Nurturing Creativity, Inspiration, and Flow

Step Two: Cultivating Self-Awareness

Transpersonal Psychology

Transpersonal Techniques

Setting Intentions

Mindfulness Meditation

A Simple Meditation Exercise

Lovingkindness Meditation

Guided Creative Visualization

Hypnosis

Breath Work

Recalling Your Dreams

Knowing Your Shadow and Your Anima/Animus

Muses for Inspiration

Step Three: Speaking Your Truth

The Art and Power of Storytelling

Writing Your Emotional Truth

Finding Your Authentic Voice

Writing Techniques

Embodied Writing

Reflective Writing

The Challenges of Remembering and Not Remembering

Memory and Imagination

Step Four: Examining Your Life

Life Purposes and Themes

The Meaning of Experiences

The Patterns in Our Lives

Writing about Difficult Times

Wounded Healers and Storytellers

Sharing Stories to Heal

Mortality as a Great Teacher

Inner-Child Healing

Step Five: Finding Your Form

Journal Writing

Tools for Journaling

Notebook

Writing Instruments

Place

Stream-of-Consciousness Writing

Types of Journals

Dream Journals

Gratitude Journals

Travel Journals

Organizing Your Journal

Letter Writing

Essay Writing

Blogging

Memoirs, Biographies, and Autobiographical Writing

How to Make a Memoir Compelling

Some Essential, Personal Writing Tips

Writing Fiction

Step Six: Unleashing with Poetry

What is Poetry?

Types of Poems

Poetry as Inspiration

Reading Poetry

Poetry and Healing

Poetry as Therapy

The Courage to Write Poetry

Letting Go and Beginning

Writing Compelling Poetry

Duende

Metaphor

Step Seven: Sharing Your Writing

Writing about Others

What to Include

Writing about Family Secrets

Writing about Sex and Intimacy

Writing Love Letters

Revising and Editing

Showing Drafts to Others

Publishing Basics

Choosing Where to Submit Your Work

Appendix A: A List of Writing Prompts

Other suggestions for topics:

References

Further Reading

Recommended Memoirs

Permissions

About the Author

Index

Table of Writing Prompts

Writing Prompt i:1 – Observing with Fresh Eyes

Writing Prompt i:2 – Imagining Dreams Fulfilled

Writing Prompt i:3 – Conjuring Bliss

Writing Prompt i:4 – Reflecting on Joy and Sorrow

Writing Prompt i:5 – On Meaningful Coincidences

Writing Prompt i:6 – On Decisions and Consequences

Writing Prompt 1:1 – Expressing Gratitude for Gifts

Writing Prompt 1:2 – Autobiography in Brief

Writing Prompt 1:3 – Being in the Here and Now

Writing Prompt 1:4 – Differences in Perception

Writing Prompt 1:5 – Embodying Fear

Writing Prompt 1:6 – Challenging Fear

Writing Prompt 2:1 – Intention Setting

Writing Prompt 2:2 – Giving Thanks

Writing Prompt 2:3 – Meditation Review: Mood Shifts

Writing Prompt 2:4 – Meditation Review: Triggers

Writing Prompt 2:5 – Creative Visualization Review

Writing Prompt 2:6 – Asking Your Dreams a Question

Writing Prompt 2:7 – Exploring a Vivid Dream

Writing Prompt 2:8 – On Being Labeled

Writing Prompt 2:9 – Inviting the Shadow

Writing Prompt 3:1 – Family Story

Writing Prompt 3:2 – Childhood Emotional Experience

Writing Prompt 3:3 – On a Visionary Person

Writing Prompt 3:4 – On Your Authentic Voice

Writing Prompt 3:5 – Being Aware of Your Feelings

Writing Prompt 3:6 – Your Core Truths

Writing Prompt 3:7 – Recalling Childhood Again

Writing Prompt 3:8 – Getting Inside a Memory

Writing Prompt 3:9 – Keys to Truth

Writing Prompt 4:1 – The Big Questions

Writing Prompt 4:2 – Trying out Narrative Styles

Writing Prompt 4:3 – Learning from Difficult Times

Writing Prompt 5:1 – Let the Words Flow

Writing Prompt 5:2 – More Gratitude

Writing Prompts 5:3 – More Gratitude

Writing Prompt 5:4 – Letters of Joy and Blessing

Writing Prompts 5:5 – Transformative Moments

Writing Prompt 5:6 – From Emotion to Character

Writing Prompt 6:1 – Playing with Acrostics

Writing Prompt 6:2 – Your Life as a Poem

Writing Prompt 6:3 – Inspiration from Other Poets

Writing Prompt 6:4 – The Wisdom of Uncertainty

Writing Prompt 6:5 – Your Passion, Your Personhood

Writing Prompt 6:6 – Poetry as Pathfinder

Writing Prompt 7:1 – Safe Draft: Family Secrets

Writing Prompt 7:2 – Safe Draft: Someone Disliked

Writing Prompt 7:3 – Perfectly Safe Sex

Writing Prompts 7:4 – Writing about Writing

Writing Prompt 7:5 – Getting Ready to Publish

Also by Diana Raab

MEMOIR

Getting Pregnant and Staying Pregnant: Overcoming Infertility and Managing Your High-Risk Pregnancy

Your High Risk Pregnancy

Regina’s Closet: Finding My Grandmother’s Secret Journal

Healing with Words: A Writer’s Cancer Journal

POETRY

My Muse Undresses Me (Chapbook)

Dear Anaïs: My Life in Poems for You

The Guilt Gene

Listening to Africa

Lust

ANTHOLOGIES

Writers and Their Notebooks

Writers on the Edge: 22 Writers Speak about Addiction and Dependency (edited with James Brown)

To my father, Edward Marquise, who taught me the power of hope and positive thinking, and to my mother, Eva Klein Marquise, for giving me my first journal, which laid the foundation for my life as a writer

Oh, the joy of writing, a joy so intense

so pure, so all-absorbing and free and all-

encompassing, flooding the soul in mystical

ecstasy, elevating and sanctifying, infusing

beauty in the humblest subjects and a purpose

in the most wayward life.

—Anaïs Nin (Volume Two, pg. 8)

Foreword

Diana Raab’s Writing for Bliss is so many things: a meditation on, and paean to, writing and the writing life; a reflective and deeply felt guide for those wishing to speak their minds and hearts, whether silently or aloud; and, not least, a valuable how-to book, the how-to in question being less about this or that writing technique or strategy and more about life and what we might do to live it more fully and with more sense of its great abundance. Perhaps more than anything, though, Raab’s book is about the profound ways in which we may be transformed in and through the act of writing.

In reading some of her lovely introductory words about this process, I was reminded of a phrase attributed to the French philosopher Jules Lequier: “To create, and in creating be created.” In some ways the idea is a simple one, but its significance cannot be overestimated. For what it ultimately suggests is that writing—meaningful writing, issuing from the heart and soul of the writer—is a vehicle of change, of moving from one state of knowing and feeling and being to another, one that is deeper, more real, more true. In carrying out the research on which this book is based, Raab “found that the act or experience of writing results in a heightened sense of awareness and an identity that becomes transformed, in addition to a deeper understanding of one’s place in the world” (p. 5). This may be so whatever genre one chooses, but it is especially so when writing about one’s own life. “By documenting the story of your life,” Raab adds, “you have the chance to relive, examine, and reconstruct your lived experiences in a way that can be empowering.” What’s more, “By working through your life, you are able to draw a certain amount of energy from what you have been through, reconcile yourself with your experiences, and then move forward” (p. 6).

As Raab well knows, this process doesn’t always work neatly. In fact, there are times when it doesn’t appear to work at all. For some, telling the story of their lives can be anything but empowering; suddenly seeing what they either couldn’t see or wouldn’t see earlier on can be draining and demoralizing—at least for a time. There may be no reconciliation, either, and no moving forward; one’s now-open wounds may be too fresh and too paralyzing. If Raab is right, however, there still remains room for growth, painful and difficult though it may be, and writing can play a vitally important role in the process. This is because what may have heretofore been inchoate and obscure or even utterly opaque has at least risen into the light of consciousness. And for all the pain that may be involved in this rising, it is the pain of birth and growth. Something has become available that wasn’t before, and coming face to face with that something is the requisite condition for moving beyond it.

By her own account, Raab’s intention in creating this book “is to share my passion for writing and how it has helped me heal over the course of six decades” (p. 7). This healing has surely been suffused with the pain that has preceded it and required it. How fortunate we are to have the gift of writing to deliver and redeem us! How fortunate we are to have the opportunity to “follow our bliss,” wherever it may lead. Doing so is not always blissful, though. It can’t be. That’s part of its beauty.

On my reading, there are three ideas that aptly characterize what is most fundamental about Raab’s book: reflection, truth, and freedom. Indeed, these three ideas are intimately connected with one another. “Reflective writing,” Raab suggests, “is about digging deep down into your emotional truth… digging into your heart’s center to write about what you are really feeling, rather than about what you think other want to hear” (p. 87). Reflection, therefore, entails stepping out of the flow of unconscious being and seeing things anew. And writing, as an act of reflection par excellence, allows this seeing-anew to take center stage. Whether the resultant work is fiction or nonfiction is largely secondary; what matters most is that reflection has been employed in the service of fashioning a more capacious and indeed truthful version of experience. As for how freedom enters the picture, it has to do precisely with liberating ourselves from those coercive holds on our experience, both other-imposed and self-imposed, that frequently find their way into our lives. Writing is about fashioning alternatives, ones that can allow us to see things in a different light. It’s about remaking the world, both outer and inner, and in so doing remaking ourselves.

Diana Raab’s Writing for Bliss is an excellent sourcebook for engaging in the arduous, sometimes painful, often glorious process of writing. I am grateful to her for sharing it, and I trust that you will feel the same as you read on. May you savor the journey.

—Mark Freeman, PhD, Distinguished Professor of Ethics and Society at the College of the Holy Cross, author of Hindsight and The Priority of the Other

Acknowledgments

Writing for Bliss has been inspired by my many years as a writer, observer of life, and writing teacher. Writing has brought me so much joy that I realized I wanted to share my passion with others. I am blessed to have had many people in my life whose teachings and inspirations have informed my own work. I have benefited tremendously from all their insights, priceless gifts of wisdom, and friendships. I am also thankful to all my journals and computers for being the container for my musings.

The seed for this book was planted during my doctoral work when I was studying the healing and transformative powers of writing a memoir. I will be forever grateful for the participants of my study, including Maxine Hong Kingston, Kim Stafford, Mark Matousek, Monica Wesolowska, and Alexandra Styron for their willingness to share their stories, their candor, and their generosity of spirit. A huge thanks to the members of my dissertation team, who have all become dear friends and colleagues—Jay Dufreschou, Tristine Rainer, and Dorit Netzer—for their support and enthusiasm during my two-year research. I am grateful for all our wonderful conversations and brainstorming sessions.

Every writer needs a great book editor. I could not have had a better one than Sharron Dorr, who has been instrumental in bringing this manuscript to fruition. I am appreciative for her enthusiasm, attentiveness, creativity, integrity, keen eye, and professionalism while working on this book. She has been a sheer delight. Deep gratitude to others who have also been instrumental in bringing this book to fruition including Jill Kramer, Melissa Esposito, Beth Brody, and Kathleen Lynch.

A deep bow to my publisher, Victor R. Volkman, for once again believing in me and my work, and whom I applaud for his vision and generosity of spirit.

Thank you to all my friends and colleagues who have enriched my life through conversation, spirits, laughter, and creative exchanges. My having been a writer for more than four decades, this list tends to be very long; but there are certain people whose names rise to the surface and who deserve my deepest gratitude. They include Tristine Rainer, Robert Bosnak, Jeanna Zelin, Perie Longo, Nancy Leffert, Linda Gray Sexton, Susan Wooldridge, Gail Kearns, Gail Steinbeck, David Starkey, Susan Wyler, Brenda Stockdale, Bernie Siegel, Connie May Fowler, Richard Goodman, Sena Jeta Naslund, Karen Mann, Philip Lopate, James Brown, Stephen Jay Schwartz, Darlyn Finch, Michael Steinberg, Mark Freeman, Dinty Moore, Elizabeth Lesser, Jina Carvahlo, Mary Francis Hoffman, Melinda Palacio, Steven Beisner, Jim Alexander, Marcia Meier, Laure-Anne Bosselaur, Mary Francis Hoffman, Julie Gohman, Pat Aptaker, Susan Chiavelli, Julie Montgomery, and Jack and Rose Herschorn. Deep gratitude to my two physicians who have kept me healthy over the years, Soram Khalsa, MD and Keith Stewart, MD. I will be forever grateful. If your name is not listed here and we’ve had substantial interactions, please forgive me, as, finally, I am feeling the effects of being a sexagenarian.

A special tribute of thanks to my late friend Thomas Steinbeck for more than a decade of literary discussions over tequilas and for his friendship, inspiration, compelling stories, and adoration. Thomas, I will forever feel your presence in my heart.

Most of all, I want to thank my family, from my husband, Simon, for his relentless enthusiasm for all my endeavors and who encouraged me to reach for the stars every step of the way; to my loving children, Rachel, Regine, Joshua, Daniel and Richard for their ongoing interest and support of my creative life. Also, I want to thank the inspiration of my two grandchildren, Jaxson Alexander Bassett and Lila Augusta Mae del Valle. You are all the light in my life, especially during my darker moments. You are the ones who make everything worthwhile.

Preface

If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. Wherever you are—if you are following your bliss, you are enjoying that refreshment, that life within you, all the time.

—Joseph Campbell

Most writers will confess that they write because they have to write, not necessarily because they want to write. They write out of necessity because either it makes them feel better or they want to share their story with the world. I fall into both these categories: writing makes me feel good; when I don’t write, I feel as if something’s missing from my life, plus I also yearn to share my stories with others in the hope that they will resonate in a way that brings healing and a deeper way of knowing and understanding.

My beginnings as a writer began when I was ten years old, writing in my journal to help me cope and heal from the suicide of my grandmother, who had also been my caretaker and had lived with us in my childhood home. I was the only child of immigrant parents who worked all day tending their retail dry-goods store in Brooklyn, New York. On Labor Day in 1964, I was at home with my grandmother. In many immigrant families of the post-World War II era, children were reared by their extended families, particularly grandparents. My grandparents lived with us, and while my grandfather spent much of his time in New York City becoming culturally acclimated, my maternal grandmother, Regina, stayed home to take care of me.

It was a hot Indian summer day common to the season. We lived in a suburban community along with other immigrant families, and I had many playmates in the neighborhood. I was excited when a friend invited me to go swimming in her pool. With a child’s enthusiasm, I knocked on my grandmother’s door to ask for permission.

There was no answer. I tried several times, but still no answer. I called to her, but there was only silence. Trembling with fear, I phoned my parents at their store. I sat with my nose pressed to the front bay window until they drove up the driveway in Dad’s pink car that matched the house’s shingles—the color he had painted them the day I was born. My parents dashed out of the car and up to Grandma’s room. Before I knew what was going on, my beloved grandmother was being carried down our creaky wooden stairs on a stretcher and put into an ambulance. I never saw her again.

Like most children, I took the experience in stride and did not think too much about it. There was no doubt that I missed my grandmother, Regina, the only grandmother I ever knew. My father’s parents had perished in the Holocaust. I was lonely for my grandmother’s company and her love. After all, she had been the one who had taught me how to type short stories on the Remington typewriter perched on the vanity table in her room. Her loving attention was something my mother was unable to provide in a meaningful way. Now in addition my mother, who had also been an only child, was dealing with her own grief over losing her mother.

My mother knew I was grieving and wanted to help me through the trauma of having lost my grandmother. Reaching out to therapists was not done in those days; and even if it had been, we would not have had the money for it. Others might have seen therapists, but it was certainly not something anyone ever talked about. My grandmother had been a journal keeper. After some contemplation on how to help me cope with the loss of this important person in my life who had also been my caretaker, my mother went to the nearest stationery store and bought me a blank, red leather journal with a saying by Kahlil Gibran on the top of each page. I had many favorites, but in coping with the loss of my grandmother, this is the one that helped me: “If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don’t, they never were.”

One thing I learned from my grandmother was the importance of having love in my life. At the top of one page in my red-leather journal was Gibran’s saying, “Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.” In this page I wrote about how much my grandmother’s love meant to me and how, after losing her, my life felt so empty.

For many months after my grandmother’s suicide, my mother continued to encourage me to write down my feelings about my grandmother. Having been an English major in college, my mother thought this was the best way for me to deal with my grief.

In those days, children were unwelcome at funerals, so I was shipped off with my journal to my aunt’s and uncle’s apartment in New York City. I guess everyone thought that the funeral experience would be too traumatic an experience for me. Certainly things would be different today, at a time when kids are exposed to a lot more than funerals. For days on end after my grandmother died, I sat at my small birch desk or in my walk-in closet under the hanging clothes, writing about my grandmother and how I missed her.

Little did I realize that my mother’s seemingly mild gesture of buying me a journal would set the stage for my lifelong passion for writing. As I grew into adulthood, each time I encountered difficult times—including my turbulent adolescence in the 1960s, my daughter’s drug addiction, and my battles with cancer—I wrote about what I was going through. Not only did I explain my lived experience, but I also wrote about how the experience made me feel.

It was more than four decades after my grandmother died, when I was forty-seven years old, that I received my first cancer diagnosis (about which I wrote in Healing with Words: A Writer’s Cancer Journey). After healing from the physical and emotional trauma of that experience, and of course chronicling my journey in my journal, I decided to follow my dream of returning to graduate school. I pursued my MFA in writing, and when the time came to consider a subject for my thesis, the story of my grandmother’s life occurred to me.

Coincidentally, around that time my mother gave me my grandmother’s hand-typed journal telling of her early life as an orphan in Poland during and after World War I. When Mother handed me the journal, I felt as if I had been given the biggest gift a granddaughter could ever receive. I devoured every word and realized that my grandmother had shared my passion for journaling. My MFA thesis, which involved studying her life, turned into my first published memoir, Regina’s Closet: Finding My Grandmother’s Secret Journal.

In this memoir, I dealt with the two major turning points in my life: losing my grandmother—whose loss had been all the more traumatic because she had also been my caretaker—and then discovering her sacred journal. The journal was sacred because of its role in my understanding of my grandmother and why she might have committed suicide. It was also sacred because it was another chance for me to get close to her intimate and private thoughts. I realized that writing about my grandmother was healing, as it allowed me to honor her and keep her alive, and it was also a way to come to some resolution about her suicide.

I had always been a seeker, but the experience of reflecting upon my grandmother’s life and then finding her journal led me on a path of discovery and further transformation as I tried to understand why she had taken her life at the age of sixty-one—the age, in fact, that I am now as I write this book.

Studying my grandmother’s life leading up to her suicide helped me to understand, grow, and become empowered by her experience to take on the role of a woman warrior. I realized that she had been a survivor for most of her life. She had survived the trauma of being orphaned, she survived two world wars, she survived an emotionally abusive relationship, and she survived long enough to see me go to school. I learned from my grandmother that no matter what happened, I too wanted to be a survivor and a fighter. I wanted to become empowered by my experiences and also to help others become empowered by theirs. Thus, my grandmother had left me with a huge gift.

My MFA was not to be the end of my pursuit of education. It seemed as if whenever a life-changing event occurred in my life, I returned to school for another degree. My MFA was initiated as a result of my breast cancer diagnosis; and six years later, after being diagnosed with smoldering multiple myeloma, a cancer of the bone marrow, I returned for my doctorate in psychology. About that time, I was approaching the age of sixty-one—again, my grandmother’s age when she took her life—and had begun reflecting on my own life and on how I felt there was so much more I wanted to accomplish. Having had two cancer diagnoses and dealt as well with numerous losses of loved ones, I fully realized the fragility of life. By returning to school, I hoped to merge my passion for understanding the psyche with my great passion for writing. Thus, the subject of my dissertation research was the healing and transformative powers of personal narrative, which became the impetus for writing this book.

Basically, my research examined how life-changing experiences have inspired some well-published authors to write the narratives of their lives. I interviewed writers such as Maxine Kong Kingston, Alexandra Styron, Kim Stafford, Monika Wesloweska, and Mark Matousek. During the course of my research and while compiling the results, I discovered the healing and transformative power of personal writing. Writing one’s story is a way to reclaim your voice, to share a family secret, or simply to share a story with others. In my study, I found that the act or experience of writing results in a heightened sense of awareness and an identity that becomes transformed, in addition to a deeper understanding of one’s place in the world. Most of those who participated in my study had been exposed either to early-life trauma and significant loss or to addiction, either their own or that of a loved one.

The actual decision to write a memoir depends on both intrinsic and extrinsic factors. The intrinsic factors may be related to the individual’s emotions, and the extrinsic factors may pertain to what occurs in his or her world. Writing about certain experiences helps provide an understanding of one’s unique self, as well as of one’s relationship with others and the world at large.

My research incorporated the work of one of my favorite humanistic psychologists, Abraham Maslow, who, as you might recall from one of your psychology courses, coined the term “the hierarchy of needs” that identifies basic human needs such as security, love, and shelter. He illustrated this hierarchy in the form of a pyramid, at the top of which he spoke about the self-actualization of people who are motivated by higher means or higher truths. These self-actualized or highly motivated individuals are those who are extremely dedicated to some task that results in the higher good of others.

You might know someone who is self-actualized in this way; it might even be you. Such people feel an urgent or deep need to make a change in the world or to serve humanity. It might be something that possesses you. There are different terms to explain the idea of your calling in life. The Romans called it your genius, the Greeks called it your daimon, and the Christians call it your guardian angel. James Hillman used even more words to describe one’s sense of calling, such as, fate, character, image, soul, and destiny, depending upon context. If you know someone who has this kind of passion for doing something, you will recognize that they might feel an obligation and deep connection to their work and are driven by a great need to make some contribution to society at large. These people become one with their work and are inspired by both internal and external drives.

My research interest was based on the fourth and newest branch of psychology, transpersonal psychology, which is concerned with the study of optimum psychological health and well-being and with the idea of reaching your highest potential. Transpersonal means “beyond the ego” or “beyond the personal.” It has to do with the exploration of the unconscious as a way to tap into the higher self, personally and in terms of the collective. This new psychology grew out of the mid-twentieth century humanistic psychology movement and the study of alternative states of consciousness. It was originally founded and introduced by Abraham Maslow in the 1960s at Esalen Institute in California. Transpersonal psychology encompasses all other types of psychology, such as psychoanalytic, Jungian, and behavioristic, as well as humanistic. It also incorporates the spiritual aspects of the human experience. When studying this newest branch of psychology, I incorporated transpersonal experiences, which are experiences that extend beyond the ordinary and usual ways of knowing and doing.

Transpersonal psychology also accentuates various ways of healing, and writing is considered a transpersonal practice in that it encourages self-expression and self-discovery; it helps you identify your strengths and weaknesses and how you can achieve your potential and lead a happier life. By documenting the story of your life, you have the chance to relive, examine, and reconstruct your lived experiences in a way that can be empowering. By working through your life, you are able to draw a certain amount of energy from what you have been through, reconcile yourself with your experiences, and then move forward.

Other practices that are highlighted in transpersonal psychology are geared toward helping an individual reach their highest potential. Many of these practices will be discussed in greater detail later in this book and include setting intentions, mindfulness training, meditation, yoga, psychotherapy, creative visualization, and hypnosis, as well as journaling.

During my research, I learned that I was not alone in my pursuit to write to heal from pivotal or life-changing events in my life such as my grandmother’s suicide and a cancer diagnosis. Such experience sometimes serves as a stepping stone for a writing project.

I wrote and published my first memoir, not only to help me accept and understand losing my grandmother but also to help others who might have faced similar losses. My intention in creating this present book, Writing for Bliss, is to share my passion for writing and how it has helped me heal over the course of six decades. I hope it will help you transcend what immediately meets your eyes by digging deeper into your psyche and hearing the voice of your true, authentic self, while listening to the messages of your heart rather than suppressing them. I want to share the different ways of reflecting and self-discovery I have learned as a way to bring a sense of wholeness and, ultimately, a sense of bliss. My hope is that readers will become inspired to write during their joyous and difficult times, while also experimenting with different genres and ways of writing and being.

Introduction Writing for Change

The pen is mightier than the sword.

—Edward George Bulwer-Lytton

When considering any kind of change or incorporating a new practice into your life, whether it is writing for bliss, writing for therapy, or writing for transformation, I like to mention what Zen master Shunryu Suziki referred to in his book, Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind (1976), as maintaining the sensibility of the “beginner’s mind.” The idea is that the beginner’s mind tends to be open to many possibilities, unlike the expert’s mind, which only sees few. Remaining open-minded and available for new ideas is important, in the same way that we might witness in young children, who are like sponges for learning. Having a beginner’s mind is also about suspending your disbelief and going with the flow of your experience, as discussed in more depth in step 1 of this book, “Preparing to Write.”

Hopefully, when you have made the decision to engage in personal writing you’ve given yourself permission to take yourself on a voyage of self-discovery. This entails reviewing your life with a child’s curiosity, awe, and simplicity. In so doing, there is a good chance that significant revelations will begin emerging from your subconscious mind. Writing with the magic mindset of a child can be a fun and poignant way to write and to unleash deep, dark, and surprising secrets. Throughout this book I offer writing prompts as a springboard for your writing. Their intention is to whet your writing appetite. It is not necessary to do all the prompts, unless you feel particularly compelled to do so. You might find some resonate more with you than others. Perhaps some relate to a particular life situation at a particular time.

When my three children were young, we sometimes took family vacations to places I had already visited earlier in life. I was often fascinated about how those places seemed so newly unique and different when I returned to them with the children. They viewed those experiences with new and curious eyes, as opposed to my older jaded ones. They made observations and noticed things that I either took for granted or simply never acknowledged. For the first ten years of each of my children’s lives, I kept individual journals for them in which I accumulated all their questions and answers, vowing to share each one’s journal with them on their wedding day. This was a gift I would have loved to receive from my own mother.

After my grandmother died, and as the only daughter of two hard-working immigrants in the 1950s and 1960s, I was often left to my own devices, in the sense that I was often left home alone to entertain myself. My mother did not allow me to watch television, advising me that it was bubble gum for my mind; however, she was a big believer in books and journals, thus setting my platform as a writer. Because I was alone much of the time, I was forced to pose many questions to my journal, but many of my questions remained unanswered. Therefore, when I had children of my own, I encouraged them to ask questions out loud, both at school and at home. I often reminded them that there is no such thing as a stupid question. Admittedly, as a result I sometimes felt less than smart, because there were times when I was unable to answer their brilliant questions without the help of my support system at the time—the World Book Encyclopedia.

One of the best questions posed by my son, Josh, was, “Daddy, why doesn’t the ceiling fall?” My husband, a scientist, was able to provide a decent answer, as I sat in amazement of my son’s question and of how sometimes the simplest of inquiries require the most complex answers. When posing the more personal questions about our lives, sometimes it can take years to come up with the answers.

One of my favorite poets, Rainer Maria Rilke, has this to say of the beginner’s mind:

Be patient to all that is unsolved in your heart and try to cherish the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a foreign tongue. Do not be focused on the answers, which sometimes cannot be given because you would not be able to live them. The point is, to live everything. Love the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer (Rilke, 2000, p. 10).

Patience is important to remember when you are engaged in writing about your emotions and experiences. It is also a good idea to view your experiences with both narrow and wide-angled lenses. Viewing your life with a wide-angle lens allows you to see the big picture of your life in a universal context and see the patterns. Viewing with a narrow angle lens allows you to view the specific details of your own life and your own particular patterns. Doing so will bring a renewed perspective to your experiences—a new viewpoint, a sense of inquisitiveness and curiosity—which will give your writing more poignancy and depth.

The art of writing for change is about setting out on a journey. Imagine yourself packing to visit a new land—one you’ve never visited before or one you have not visited in a long time. Be alert and mindful of the details of your landscape. Document them in your journal or on your computer. Don’t worry about the direction of your musings; for the moment, simply accumulate them. You can decide later whether your writing will be for you alone, for prosperity, or for public sharing.

Writing Prompt i:1 – Observing with Fresh Eyes

Go for a walk with your journal and pen and stop at a convenient place to write about an observation that captures you. Write about it using a beginner’s mind, as if you are visiting our planet and viewing it for the first time.

Sufi poet Jelaluddin Rumi spoke about the phenomenon of the “Open Secret.” The idea is that we all hold a secret—not necessarily a large secret, but a secret nevertheless. Whether our secret is a subtle one or a larger one, we know that we are not being entirely transparent. For example, when meeting you for the first time someone may ask the pat question, “How are you?” You might answer, “Fine,” but you know in your heart of hearts that things are really not fine. Perhaps a parent just died or your dog is in the hospital; perhaps you just lost your job, your spouse is cheating on you, or your garden hasn’t been tended in weeks. Perhaps you have a great deal on your plate and you’re really not fine, but you use a certain discernment and choose not to share your problems at that time. This is perfectly okay. We all play the same game in covering up what we are not ready to share; that’s why Rumi calls this sort of choice the “Open Secret.”

While it is fine not to share your secret with whomever you don’t care to share, sometimes it can be healing to share your secret by writing about it in your journal—your special confidant. Writing can unleash the secret inside of you as a way to tap into your shadow. The shadow is a term introduced by depth psychologist C. G. Jung as it pertains to the unconscious or less-liked part of us. He said that even though we might not want to acknowledge our shadow, if we confront it in an honest manner, it can prove to be pure gold for us. This will be discussed in greater detail in step 2, “Cultivating Self-Awareness.”

As you write about your secret, continue to use a beginner’s mind. Do it slowly. Be patient with yourself; you will see the results.

Writing and Bliss

Bliss may be defined as a natural direction to take to maximize your sense of joy and sense of fulfillment and performance. It is a more powerful word than happiness. Sometimes people equate bliss with being in a state of euphoria, but in reality it is about learning what brings you joy, which is often connected to what you were meant to do with your life—your calling. Mythologist and writer Joseph Campbell coined the phrase, “Follow your bliss,” which is another way of saying to follow your heart or to listen to your authentic inner voice, as further discussed in step 3, “Speaking Your Truth.”

To find bliss, we get rid of habits, ways, situations and relationships that no longer serve us in a good way by replacing with ones that do. Finding your bliss is about bringing into your life all those things that bring out your potential and help you live your life to its fullest. Once you open your eyes and are aware of your bliss, opportunities begin to come your way. For years I’ve known that my bliss revolves around writing. I knew that because whenever people ask me when I feel best, I respond by saying, “When I’m writing.” This can be true whether I’m writing poems, blogs, essays, or books. I also know that I am blissful when studying, which is one reason why I returned to school for two advanced degrees during my middle age.

Another aspect of following your bliss concerns young adults when they are contemplating a career path. Most of us have an innate desire to please our parents. Sometimes this means following the desires and expectations of others while pushing aside our own dreams or the messages of our inner voice or heart. While this behavior might be subconscious, many young people might consider pursuing the career paths of one of their parents or what they think their parents would like for them to pursue. They may continue down that path until they come to the realization that another path would bring greater joy.

My story is an illustration: My grandmother always wanted to be a doctor, but her dreams were shattered as a result of wartime. My mother was a medical receptionist. Thus, I began my journey as a registered nurse and nursing administrator, and while I enjoyed working in the hospital with patients, I came to realize that what really made my heart purr was writing. Sometimes life flows in a way that dreams easily become realized, whereas at other times, pursuing them is a more conscious decision. For me, it was the former, because the timing was perfect as I had to resign as a hospital administrator and submit to bed rest when I approached my third month of my first pregnancy. This confinement lead me to do a great deal of writing, thus returning me to the bliss of my childhood. I ended up extending that bliss by availing myself of my medical background to become a medical journalist, reporting on the latest medical research and findings.

As my experience shows, following your bliss usually entails connecting to your life theme. This subject will be discussed in greater detail in step 4, “Examining Your Life.” Following your bliss is also a key component to achieving happiness. Bernie Siegel in his book, Love, Medicine, and Miracles (1986) says that if people manage their anger and despair, they typically do not get sick. He believes that those who are happy, in general, do not get sick. “One’s attitude toward oneself is the single most important factor in healing and staying well. Those who are at peace with themselves and their immediate surroundings have far fewer serious illnesses than those who are not” (p. 76).

Happiness is a function of our genetics, personality, and life experiences. Further, there are many factors that make us happy, but the key ones include having meaning, hope, and purpose in your life. Writing can help identify what fulfills these factors for you, whether you’re writing about a recent event or one that happened a while ago.

Writing Prompt i:2 – Imagining Dreams Fulfilled

Find a quiet and private writing place. Write about what you imagined your life would look like when you were just beginning it. Imagine that all has gone extremely well in your life and that all of your dreams have come true. Refrain from simply doing a recap of your accomplishments. Write instead about how you arrived at the point of fulfilling all your goals in the life of your dreams and what you were feeling along the way. Write from your heart.

Humanistic psychologist Abraham Maslow believed that mental health professionals place too much emphasis on disease, so he devised a pyramid called the Hierarchy of Needs. On the bottom of the pyramid he placed our basic human needs and at the very top of the pyramid, what he called “self-actualization,” or the point where we have found our true meaning and purpose in life and, ultimately, our bliss. For the most part, we all strive toward self-actualization, which essentially leads to a deep sense of satisfaction and bliss. Maslow identified peak experiences or life-changing circumstances as powerful moments accompanied by a sense of euphoria or pleasure or a deep sense of harmony that could lead to the individual’s self-actualization and subsequent movement in the direction of bliss. He also believed that those who are highly evolved, such as mystics, are those who have experienced these peak moments that could result in a state of bliss.