The book collects 6 short stories with themes from love to life, which demonstrates people's struggle against the life, society and other pressures. Through this book, you can grasp a basic understanding of Chinese people's lives, their challenges and tenacity. Chapter one tells a love story between a girl and a married man. Chapter two tells a sad love story in the Republic of China era. Chapter three tells the difficult situation of underprivileged Chinese student in Japan. Chapter four tells the story of a poor farmer in China. Chapter five describes the conflict between an intellectual husband and his peasant wife, and their eventual mutual understanding. Chapter six tells the story of a university professor Mr. J and his family. However, not all stories have beautiful endings. Sometimes, tragedy is more common. How do Chinese lives look like in previous years? If you have such a question, this book is your best option.
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A Collection of 6 Short Novels
Lu Yin, Zhang Ziping, Zhao Shuli, Xiao Yemu
Published by Great Wall Publishing, 2023.
This is a work of fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events are entirely coincidental.
A COLLECTION OF 6 SHORT NOVELS
First edition. July 21, 2023.
Copyright © 2023 Lu Yin, Zhang Ziping, Zhao Shuli, Xiao Yemu.
Written by Lu Yin, Zhang Ziping, Zhao Shuli, Xiao Yemu.
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
01 After My Love Burns
02 Love Grows, Love Dies
03 Ham with Green Mold on It
04 Sanjay
05 My Wife and I
06 The Impoverished Couple
Further Reading: The Death of Yuli
01 After My Love Burns
3 September
I met Mirage in the office this morning and I called his name softly and sweetly. My low voice could not be heard by him or by the others in the greetings.
He was writing a report at a desk in a silver-grey coat and with much spirit, and he said hello to me when he saw me enter. I, however, swooned over his tender eyes full of mysteries, affections, and vigour after he glanced at me, and I had to lean on a chair to support myself as a result of a burst of intense feelings upon me.
I put on a light green cheongsam and walked out of my room at dusk. I came across a man whose shadow resembled Mirage’s, so I quickened my pace; but after I found that he was just a stranger, I was so embarrassed that I got on a bus at once.
“Guess, Ruleen,” I said.
She was my good friend and I knew that she would grow peevish if I prattled. “Just say it, and I’ll tell you something more important,” I said softly.
I live in a small storeroom of a two-storey building and I can see a high one in front of my room and feel the wind from the west whenever I stand at the window facing north, which makes me sorrowful. I’ve been so gloomy for a whole day that I flung myself onto the bed as soon as I came back, and I wished that Mirage could come to me in my dream and that I would end up with a happy death if I could sleep in his arms.
Everybody was so busy in the office this morning that I, holding a newspaper, failed to have a talk with Mirage. He went out after he received a call. I walked him to the gate and tried to say something to him, but the pounding of my heart made me speechless. The ceaseless time was so cruel that he got on the bus at once, and I lamented my bad luck and had to return sadly.
Mirage was not in Ruleen’s guesses. She asked me to give her some tips but I stifled my eagerness. “He is a man of great charm and integrity. I’m utterly infatuated with him although he has a happy marriage,” I said shyly.
After I had supper at Ruleen’s house, she asked me sincerely, “Who has been enthralling you?”
How could I tell her that he was Mirage? I nodded smilingly but said nothing.
After I was roused by the caw at dusk, I saw a letter on the table from Ruleen. She invited me to her house tonight.
“Is he Mirage?” she asked smilingly.
“Oh, now I know that you have fallen in love with a caring, brave man,” she added, patting me on the shoulder.
“Go on with your guess,” I replied shyly. She laughed and I did not believe that she could give me the right answer. “Tell me his name,” I continued.
“It may be difficult,” she said with a pout. I told her that I had been loving Mirage feverishly. “He may not know this,” she replied.
My infatuation for him keeps burning in spite of his unawareness of that. I am a young girl and I am encouraged by my youth to love the man who captivates me, and I do hope that he can have such strong feelings for me as I do.
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7 SEPTEMBER
I can meet the hardworking, talented, captivating Mirage every day but seldom talk to him.
After I woke up early in the morning, I put a piece of violet letter paper, which I bought last night, on the desk and would write to him anyway. With a pen in my hand I did not know where to start, and it would not be good enough whether I should call him Sir or Mr. Mirage. After long moments of hesitation I decided to write anything I wanted. But, alas, I tore up the letter as soon as I wrote down some words, and I might lack the artistic aptitude for expressing my passion. The futile attempts drove me so crazy that I would rush to find him at once and embrace him desperately and give him fiery kisses on the neck, cheeks and lips. How could I stop my pining for him? I put down my pen and paper and ran outside with eagerness.
Oh, bad luck again! He had been out when I got to the office. I waited for him for three hours but he did not show up, and I had to go home disappointedly. I was itching to write an ode to him but only one line came to my mind: “I love you so much so that I will kneel devoutly and give my soul to you!”
I recorded those words in a piece of pink letter paper and put it together with the newspaper which had been sent to Mirage by someone, and I would give the letter to him the next morning. It was getting dark and I threw myself onto the bed. I did not turn on the light but closed my eyes and started to indulge in my dream: I could see that he was standing in front of me, and I got up at once and grasped his hand. “Ah, my dear Mirage!” I yelled, rushing into his arms. I felt a twinge in my arms and I woke up from my dream. It was totally dark in my room. Had he hidden himself in the shadows? I turned on the light immediately and the glare disillusioned me. I, a young girl thirsting for love, was surrounded by broken furniture in a shabby place and was depressed.
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8 SEPTEMBER
I was eager to get a reply from Mirage after I had given the letter to him, and I stayed indoors for a whole day so that I could receive his message, but my waiting turned out to be futile. At dusk I put on my coat anxiously and would go to see him, but I heard a knock at my door before I was about to leave.
“Please come in,” I replied, opening the door. The comer was Yoyu, a middle-aged team member. I let him be seated and thought that he would talk about the work that we had been doing. “Is something bothering you, Vainhope?” he asked, with a cigarette in his hand.
I told him about my distress and he was astonished by that. He gazed at me for a long moment and then said grimly, “Human beings are emotional and sometimes have to be swayed by emotions, but they can also be rational. I suggest that you should subdue your feelings because you are a sensible lady.”
“I saw Mirage today. He said that he was indebted to you for your affections for him. But he has married and has been loving his wife. What’s more, he is the head of our team and he dislikes keeping a mistress as the other men do, and he would not like to hurt his wife or you. So he hopes that you will marry a congenial man,” he added, smoking.
His words made me shudder. “OK,” I choked out in a low voice.
He was the good friend of Mirage and I wondered if he had known my secret. I felt uneasy with a faster heartbeat when I was looking at him.
“I know this may be an ill-fated infatuation but I still love Mirage with all my heart and soul, and I will not have him divorce his wife to marry me. Please understand me, Yoyu. I have been a fervent admirer of him and have been emotionally entangled with him since I met him, and I would not free myself from my affections unless I said goodbye to the world,” I explained.
“Is there anything else you want to tell me about?” I continued.
“Yes. I come here because I understand you, and I’d like to have a frank talk with you and suggest that you should give the matter further thought,” he replied.
I failed to argue with him on his high-sounding remarks, but I, leaning on the bed, burst into tears after he left. I should get myself out of my agony from now on.
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15 SEPTEMBER
I have become a laughing stock and I seem to have been pushed from a precipice into an abyss without companions, hope, or life. What is the meaning of my physical body?
I did not know when I was carried back by my friends from the centre of a street. I found that I was still safe and sound but I wondered why I should sleep there. After a long moment of recollection, the whole thing came to my mind: I felt dizzy and fainted after I walked out of Mirage’s office. Now I saw Ruleen frowning and watching me. “You should get real, Vainhope,” she said. “How did that happen? I was unconscious,” I choked out, grasping her hand.
Her words brought me so much embarrassment and sorrow that I would rather die at once. I am, however, devoted to Mirage who means everything to me, and I am eager to have his body and soul even at the cost of being a shameless girl.
“You have been afflicted by your unrequited love for Mirage. You suddenly fainted after all of us left his office, and you called out his name when you were carried onto a bus by Wentin. I was so worried about you,” she continued.
She stayed with me and persuaded me to let go of my obsession with Mirage before she left at night. But how could I end my crazy passion for him, the sole treasure in my life? I would extricate myself from everything if I could stop loving him.
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20 SEPTEMBER
Now everybody knows that I have been having a crush on Mirage. I am ridiculed and criticised and persuaded to stop my foolish deed, but I will turn a deaf ear to those good or bad remarks. My affections for him would be gone with his death. A child’s craving for a piece of candy will be intensified if it cannot be satisfied, and that’s exactly what has happened to me. Only the growth and nourishment of love can be successful among all the great undertakings in the human world, and I will have my happiness in Mirage’s arms. Ruleen scolded me that I had gone mad, but I would accept that. God bless me and give me courage! I will go to see him tonight.
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21 SEPTEMBER
I found Mirage was reserved when I was sitting beside him last night, but after I threw myself into his arms I detected something like ripples was glimmering in his eyes. He was different from those rude men but he was being tormented by my passion for him.
It was getting late. “I’m a married man and I should not have a relationship with you. Let’s be friends, and I don’t want to deflower you on a whim. What’s more, I suggest that you should keep calm rather than be controlled by your emotions,” he said imperturbably.
“Please listen to me. Isn’t it a miracle that you should meet a girl who loves you wholeheartedly and is willing to be your loyal mistress? Yes, it is!” I yelled.
“What do you mean?” he asked, watching me.
“My unrequited love for you has been on for three years and it is killing me. Tonight I must tell you about it to save my life!” I replied ardently.
Ah, I was proud of myself and I felt like I was in heaven when I was embracing him. I could see the most beautifully matched hues and hear the most mysterious melodies, and the God of Spring seemed to come to the world and bring warmth and splendour to me.
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5 OCTOBER
I am no longer sad. I am delighted and satisfied because I have had my sole treasure Mirage, and I am the happiest woman in the world when I can be with my beloved man even at the expense of losing my virginity and the rights of being a wife.
I put a white rose, which was bought for me by Mirage, beside my pillow last night. Its colour and fragrance could be the symbol of me being a lover. I kissed the petals and indulged in my sweet dream.
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6 OCTOBER
I was gazing at the sky after I woke up. I could hardly believe that I could have such a wonderful thing in this miserable world that I doubted whether I were in a dream. So I rubbed my eyes and then watched my wrist which had had the appealing smell of Mirage’s neck. It brought me ecstasy, and my heart was thumping when I was kissing the luscious marks left by him.
I got up and enjoyed the bright sky and the autumnal sunshine, and then I put on a light green cheongsam and some makeup and, standing in front of a mirror, became so intoxicated at the thought of Mirage’s charming eyes that I had to support myself by leaning on the bed. Sudden honks made me rush outside to see my candyman, but he was looking anxious. “You’ve stayed indoors all day long?” he asked in surprise in a low voice.
We got upstairs while we were talking. He became silent after he sat down next to me, but he could feel my kisses on his hair. “Do you love me?” he said, smiling.
I knew that he had been loving his wife and he could not be owned by me whole, but that was not his fault; what’s more, his wife might regard me as a home-wrecker and I lamented my love for him. As a sentient being, how could I end all my affections for him? I did not care about the so-called morals or the law.
Alas, I had to endure the slings and arrows of my separation from him and had to let him go back to his family, and I had nothing to offer except my tears.
He saw me sitting there in a trance and, grasping my hand, said, “What’s on your mind? You know that I’m determined to join the Revolution and fight for our country. I’ll be back after my mother gets better, perhaps one year later. I don’t deserve your deep love for me.”
“My devotion is beyond description. I’ll go to see you if you don’t come back,” I replied.
“I received a letter from my wife in the countryside. She said that my mother had got ill and asked me to go home. I’ll return tonight by boat.”
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7 OCTOBER
I saw Mirage off on the boat last night. He asked me to return when the bell tower in the Bund struck twelve at night. My tears, which fell into the river endlessly when I was leaning on the rail, would accompany him on his way home and would bring him back to me soon.
“Goodbye, Vainhope. Take good care of yourself and do something for our country,” he said. The bus service was unavailable while there was still hustle and bustle in the Bund in spite of few pedestrians. I walked alone in the street before I hailed a rickshaw to take me home. It was like a dream. Last night he slept in my arms but he was on his journey to his hometown tonight. I am gloomy that things should have come to this, and I blame myself for my obsession with him and I even want to get rid of it, but I would not have got involved with a married man if I had been able to cut the Gordian knot. Love is too complicated.
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8 OCTOBER
The drizzle these days resembles my tears of pining. I was too listless to get up or to have some food. Wentin came to see me this morning and asked me to have a meeting, I declined it because I could not do anything with a heavy heart.
I got up at noon and had a piece of bread and a glass of milk. I wanted to write to Mirage but my mind was in a mess when I put the letter paper on the desk. In spite of this, nothing would make me feel better except pouring my emotions out in words.
“My dearest Mirage,
Since you left I have been forlorn and been struggling with a broken heart and with sickness in this miserable place.
I guess that you have passed Wuhan and will get home soon, and that your father must be glad to see you after you have had a long journey, and that your wife will warmly receive you, put away your luggage and have a nice chat with you. That will be a sacred and sweet thing. You may think of me but that will be fleeting. Is a mistress important to you? You should cherish your wife who is a traditional woman and with whom I should sympathise, and should not let our love affair overshadow your marriage. I am wistful but I should not ask for more. I pray to God that you will have a happy life, just like the wonderful autumn night. Yours ever,
Vainhope.”
I have finished my letter but I am envious of his wife who can hold him in her arms and I am anguished at the thought of that. Oh, that is humiliation and is tantamount to death penalty. But I can’t do anything except weeping on my pillow.
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15 OCTOBER
I received a letter from Mirage who had got home.
“Dear Vainhope,
Your letter reached me as soon as I arrived home. I am so sorry, but I don’t want to deceive you. My wife does love me and she has been taking good care of my parents and my children, and she has been faithful to me since I joined the Revolution. I can neither forsake her nor hurt you. You are a well-educated, vivacious lady and you will have a bright future, but you should not waste your life on me at the expense of losing your reputation.
So, I hope that you can sublimate your feelings by doing something for our country during my one-year absence, and I am praying that you will have a happy marriage with another good man. Please accept my advice!
Yours,
Mirage.”
He is a good, honest man rather than a selfish hypocrite. I understand him but I just can’t stop loving him. I might change my mind if there could be someone like him; but if not, I will always have him in my heart against all odds. Oh, God! Please give me courage to blaze a new trail in the dark world where people muddle through. I am determined to keep my passion for him.
I am happy because I have made up my mind to fling caution to the winds, and I will be devoted to Mirage regardless of what people say.
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20 OCTOBER
I am an individual who will not follow the herd and I live like a romantic poet who will destroy the shackles of the world with great passion to place my soul into another one. That has been my belief but it was shattered when Wentin came to see me last night.
He, sitting in the shadow of the cold moon and looking grave and seeming to shoulder the responsibilities of mankind, was gazing at me with his rational, meaningful and even cruel eyes. “You should stop your relationship with Mirage now, Vainhope. It is a bad thing for both of you and it has been used as a pretext by his political opponents to criticise him,” he said grimly.
That was like an iceberg thrust into my heart. I had to vent my anger through my words although I, clenching my teeth and holding back my tears, tried to suppress my cry with trembling hands. “Can’t I cherish the man I love? Is it a wrong thing to love Mirage?” I retorted.
Wentin was a good member who was loyal to the Party and to our homeland, but he did not do things for my sake. People could not understand each other fully, and I should not blame him for it. “I’ll have a try,” I said, nerving myself.
He rose to his feet at once and, holding my hands, said smilingly, “I’ll do my best to help you!” He went out and I followed him. I stopped at the stairway and saw the Milky Way in the clear night autumn sky circling the new moon. The thickly dotted stars resembled my heart riddled with holes.
“I know you are in agony. You are a knowledgeable, strong-willed lady, so I hope that you can sublimate your passion for Mirage into your devotion to the Revolution. You can love any man except Mirage,” he continued coldly.
“Can’t I love him?” I asked angrily.
