A Piece of Peace E-Book

Sweta Srivastava Vikram

• Herausgeber: Loving Healing Press
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2021

Seitenzahl: 237

Beschreibung

A Piece of Peace is an autobiographical account of one woman's unique struggle with a near-fatal disease. In 2018, Sweta had already earned acclaim from having written a dozen successful books and for her work toward amplifying women's voices.
Suddenly overtaken with a massive health crisis, she entered a fight for her life that lasted more than six months. Her journey back to wellness through mindfulness and Ayurvedic healing show us both the true resilience of the human spirit as well as laying out a practical day-by-day plan that anyone can build on to restore health and recover from chronic health losses. Sweta shares her vulnerabilities, makes recommendations, interviews experts, and reminds us all that how we respond to a situation determines our path in life. Additionally, you'll learn about:

• The power of mindful living.
• The impact of finding and owning your voice on your well-being.
• A reminder about the role of wellness in the lives of writers & creative professionals.
• Essays and stories on coping with the pandemic, mindfulness, Ayurveda, meditation, resilience, productivity, and more.
• Tips, tricks, wisdom all packed neatly with compassion to help you navigate life no matter what's thrown at you.

"A Piece of Peace is a great combination of personal experience and street-smart advice including some very potent lifestyle changes. It then segues into very practical tips to stay healthy, physically and mentally, during the pandemic and culminates in sage advice to authors."
Nitin P, Ron, MD, Speaker, Expedition Leader, and Assistant Professor of Clinical Pediatrics
"A Piece of Peace is a wonderful collection of Sweta's reflections on her journey to healing from chronic illness. Sweta's bravery and determination to heal is reflected in her words of wisdom, which I am sure many will find empowering. I loved reading this easy-to-follow guide, it is beautifully honest and packed with tips for every day.
~-- Mita Mistry Columnist, mindfulness-based cognitive therapist and acupuncturist
"What did Sweta Vikram do after a miraculous recovery from near death? She wrote this healing guide to long term health for your creative mind, body and soul. Linger a while with her book and let your body unwind and find peace of mind - the keys to setting your creative soul free."
--- Cauvery Madhavan, Author of The Tainted
"A Piece of Peace by Sweta Vikram is the book every woman needs to have by her bedside. Each chapter is a little piece of magic that is easy to digest after a long day. When times are hard, we just need to know that other women feel the same, as a form of self-empathy."
-- Amy Wheeler, Director of Training at Optimal State Yoga Therapy School and Former President of the Board of Directors at International Association of Yoga Therapists

Leseprobe

A Piece of Peace: Everyday Mindfulness You Can Use

Copyright © 2021 by Sweta Srivastava Vikram. All Rights Reserved

ISBN 978-1-61599-597-4 paperback

ISBN 978-1-61599-598-1 hardcover

ISBN 978-1-61599-599-8 eBook

Audiobook edition available on Audible.com and iTunes

Published by

Loving Healing Press

5145 Pontiac Trail

Ann Arbor, MI 48105

www.LHPress.com

[email protected]

DEDICATION

For my husband, Anudit

Thank you for believing that I would not just survive but thrive again. Also, for forever mocking my ghee-obsession.

Also by Sweta Srivastava Vikram

POETRY

Kaleidoscope: An Asian Journey with Colors

Because All is Not Lost: Verse on Grief

Beyond the Scent of Sorrow

No Ocean Here: Stories in Verse about Women from Asia, Africa, and the Middle East

Wet Silence: Poems about Hindu Widows

Saris and a Single Malt

FICTION

Louisiana Catch

Perfectly Untraditional

Contents

Introduction

REFLECTIONS

LESSONS LEARNED

Unhealed Emotional Trauma Manifests in Our Body As Disease

Will I Ever Write Again? Surviving My Worst Fears As a Writer

How Yoga Has Taught Me to Accept My Extroverted-Introvert Self

How Gratitude Helped Me Stay Alive and Heal

Why I spend 12 hours a week in Complete Silence

What Not to Say to Someone Living with Chronic Illness

WRITER’S CORNER

Writers: Keep Your Heart Healthy and Your Stories Strong

Writers, Let’s Talk About the F-Word: Finances

7 Wellness Tips for Writers That Will Impact on Their Writing

The Power of Positivity In Storytelling

How Calming the Mind Can Help a Writer

How What You Eat Impacts Your Mood and Creativity

Writers: Empower Yourself with Self-Care

How Mindfulness Can Help You Enjoy Your Book Release Day

5 Yoga Poses Beneficial for Writers and Artists

Why Working Out Is Imperative for Writers and Their Writing

Is Your Perception of Creativity Hurting Your Writing?

Why Writing Is a Form of Meditation

Why Women Writers Need to Empower Each Other

Why Winter Is a Great Time to Write

Does Our Cultural Upbringing Influence What We Write About?

Why We Need to Tell More Than One Story About Any Culture

How to Overcome Writer’s Block in 5 Simple Steps

How To Bypass Burnout As a Writer in The World Of Social Media

How Writers Can Make the Most of a Pandemic Winter

AYURVEDA & MINDFULNESS TIPS

How to Use Ayurveda to Listen to Our Body’s Signals

Five Tips for Prioritizing YOU—Better Boundaries, Better Balance

Five Simple Tips to Conserve Your Energy and Keep Your Sanity Intact

Five Ayurvedic Tips to Stay Healthy When Traveling

Five Ayurvedic Tips to Help You Sleep Better

How Spices Can Heal Our Gut, Mood & Emotions—According to Ayurveda

PANDEMIC SURVIVAL KIT

How Mindfulness and Discipline Can Help During the Times of Coronavirus

How Do You Keep Creative Writing Alive in The Time of Coronavirus?

What Self-Isolation During COVID Has Taught Me About Creativity

Finding My Calm, in The Storm Of Coronavirus, As a Chronic Illness Survivor

Mental Health & Creativity: How Yoga can Transform your Life & Writing

Gratitude: The Balm We All Need Right Now

The Key Ingredient for Emotional Healing: Forgiveness

Seven Habits We Can’t Ever Forget Even After the Pandemic Is Over

PARTING WORDS

Epilogue

Glossary

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Bibliography

Index

Introduction

I was on the cancer watch list until recently because of my chronic illness. When I showed up for my screening, a nurse at the surgeon’s office said, “I believe chronic illness in women stems from unresolved trauma.” Her words stayed with me. The ancient wisdom of Ayurveda, knowledge of life, also teaches us that total well-being needs our mind, body, and spirit to be in sync.

According to the US National Library of Medicine, National Institutes of Health, chronic diseases are among the most prevalent and costly health conditions in the United States. Nearly half (approximately 45%, or 133 million) of all Americans suffer from at least one chronic disease1, and the number is growing. In fact, persistent conditions are the nation’s leading cause of death and disability.

Unless you live or have lived with a chronic illness, you don’t know how debilitating it can be. Your body doesn’t feel like your own. It takes up space and makes everything more difficult. On some days, you can hike ten miles; on other days, you don’t have the energy to make yourself a cup of tea. Sometimes, it morphs into an unrecognizable mess. Sometimes, it belittles you. You might appear fine to the world while writhing in pain on the inside. When chronic illness flares up, it impacts your mental health, too. Every follow-up visit to the doctor or surgeon’s office can trigger your trauma.

Chronic illness changes the quality of your life. When you know that your body can betray you any moment, trust becomes difficult. Simple things that were accessible one night ago start to seem distant. You feel life is happening to you and people do things to you. It’s easy to personalize every word and action. It’s easy to feel like a victim. But then one does become a victim, no? You didn’t ask to be sick. You don’t deserve the pain. But you see seasons pass by and life go on for others, and you are stuck in limbo. Every day feels different. Every day, your body feels different.

Here is something else I have observed: because chronic illness is often invisible and people can’t see physical signs and symptoms (some choose not to see it), they assume how you feel. The thing with chronic illness is that you can look perfect on the outside but feel bruised and depleted on the inside. And people gauge your health by your appearance. I constantly hear, “You look great. Everything must be good,” instead of “How are you doing?” Some even start to suggest that you might be making it up and will offer unsolicited and unhelpful advice. Sometimes they pretend that the illness doesn’t exist, and they want you to go along with it.

What do you say when people have already made up their minds?

Pay attention to your mental and physical wellness. Do not correlate the severity of your symptoms with your need to voice your opinion. Not everything has to be measured and judged on a scale of 1 to 10. You didn’t do this to yourself. Every single person I have spoken with, who has a chronic illness, has said one thing: it changed them forever.

I wrote this book to empower your personal and professional life. This is by sharing how I use practical daily doses of mindfulness and Ayurveda, Ayurveda is a practice which customizes preventative wellness to the unique constitution of every individual. Don’t wait to take action after you have fallen ill. I also wrote it to remind you that the quality of your life changes when you start to look inward for strength, instead of relying on others. Surround yourself with good people; stand in your truth; and don’t apologize for your voice. Self-care and mindfulness are revolutionary and not optional for your healing and creativity.

This book is for everybody, particularly those suffering from chronic health conditions and navigating life, passion, and responsibilities. There is nothing inherently limiting it to writers. For instance, the essay on financial security for writing also applies to other creative pursuits, and what I say about meditation or eating attitudes applies to everyone regardless of how they spend their time or what they pursue professionally. You will see that certain themes and messages run through the book, and I apply them in a cyclical pattern in various circumstances to help with various issues: chronic ill health, the profession of writing as a case study in creativity, and coping with the pandemic.

In hindsight, my illness and everything leading up to it feels like a blessing in disguise. It’s changed how I experience time, relationships, creativity, and the world at large. I know who matters in my life and where my honesty is respected. My energy and attention are reserved for those who deserve it. I have learned to prioritize myself on a daily basis. It’s given me a piece of peace.

But, please, note that the content in this book is purely informative and educational in nature and should not be construed as medical advice. The information isn’t intended to diagnose, treat, mitigate, cure, or prevent any disease. If you have a medical condition, please consult a health professional. Speak with your physician before making changes to your diet or routine.

_________________

1https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5876976/#B3-ijerph-15-00431

REFLECTIONS

A year-long journaling of my thoughts

SEPTEMBER 2018: Reflections from the Hospital Room

Last morning, I didn’t think I would make it. I have rarely known fear. I said it to my husband and my doctor cousin, who has been our biggest strength in these times, “I thought I wouldn’t make it.” But I made it to today.

I woke up exactly at the time of my birth. What does that mean? I don’t know! But I do know that life happens when we are busy planning it. Who knew that after attending a colleague’s book launch in Maryland, I would board the train and my life would change forever? This past weekend and upcoming week were supposed to be full—my niece’s upcoming first birthday party, the tickets for the Global Citizens Festival, my first self-care webinars for writers, my first board meeting, and a trip to Chicago to do an event at Mango Pickle for my novel, Louisiana Catch. Instead, I ended up in the emergency room with severe complications. My regular doctor was away, so we found an Indian doctor, clad in a sari, who was available and affectionately said, “Goddess Durga will take care of you,” the words my mom would always say.

The docs are still figuring out what’s going on. In my heart I know what started it. I had begun to fall sick toward the end of our Europe trip the previous month.. The docs are still shocked at the symptoms I present because I am a pretty fit, grounded, and healthy person otherwise.

As I stare at the sunrise from my hospital room this morning, I have vowed to build better personal boundaries. It might annoy some people. Takers don’t know when to stop because we, the givers, enable them. But this isn’t about me pushing people away; it’s about me taking better care of myself.

I want to thank everyone who has reached out and offered help and prayers and hugs. Thank you to my clients and colleagues for being so incredibly supportive! I am not able to respond to texts or inbox messages right away, or take phone calls right now—the meds and all of this are exhausting. But know that I appreciate you, and I promise to respond to everyone in due course.

OCTOBER 2018: There is a huge difference between physical and emotional pain when it comes to creativity. They both make us vulnerable and there is a sense of grief, loss, and betrayal. But they tap into different sides of our brain. When my mom passed away, I wrote a poetry collection, Saris and a Single Malt, inside of a week. In these past five weeks of being sick, and still searching for answers and praying for healing, I haven’t written a single word. I have tried, but nothing. Honestly, I have been feeling frustrated. What do you call a writer who doesn’t write? And then out of nowhere, this surprise care package got delivered. It’s from one of the readers and fans of Louisiana Catch. Her card says that the book helped her heal and that she couldn’t wait for my next novel. Just when I was ready to give up on the universe, it showed me a sign.

I was feeling bummed out today—this is the first Dussehra in my adult life where I am not cooking up a storm and sharing food with loved ones. No colorful clothes, no recreating Mom’s recipes, nothing festive at all. This is the first Dussehra of my life where I am grappling for a slice of the ordinariness of our daily lives—something that we so often take for granted. Running between doctor appointments, swimming through unknown waters, and feeling agonized with the status quo, I was greeted by an extremely well-mannered and pleasant Uber driver. He told me he had been in Kolkata, India, caring for a sick family member. In India, Kolkata is the land of Dussehra celebrations and Indian sweets. The driver was Bangladeshi. He took six months off work and moved to Bangladesh for this person, then back to India. Things eventually got better, and he returned to the United States. When I asked him if the break was scary, he said that he got back to driving Uber and he is still one of Uber’s highly recommended drivers. Lesson learned: there will be many more Dussehras to celebrate if there is health and healing. A break does not necessarily mean an end; it can mean a pause.

NOVEMBER 2018: Last evening, on the way back from my doctor’s appointment, there were no cabs available, and Uber had a long wait period because of the snowstorm. A fellow New Yorker noticed I was unwell and asked if I needed help. She literally held me by my shoulders and helped me cross the street until we had avoided all the slush. Humanity thrives even in today’s times. This past week has been a lot. To those hurting, “I see you. I believe in you. You are strong. You matter. You are valid. You are believed. You are supported.”

When your life stands still and your breath doesn’t sound like your own—in all of this, a reader sends you a note that her mother wants you to get well soon because she is done reading Louisiana Catch and wants to read your next book. So long as there is life, there will be challenges. Instead of getting despondent about what’s not working out and things being difficult, believe there is something better waiting for you.

DECEMBER 2018: I made it. The surgery, though complicated, went alright. Surviving is a beautiful thing because it teaches you who and what matter most. I had told a few people that if I made it to Christmas, I would like to go up to some place where we could really have a white Christmas—snow, Santa, hot chocolate, and lots of Christmas carols. This morning, I woke up at home. Not snowy, not white. But this morning, I woke up. This morning, I woke up and saw the lights on our Christmas tree. This morning, I woke up and felt my breath on my hands. How often we take our breath for granted. Thank you life, for reminding me of the smallest ways in which we can experience a miracle.

JANUARY 2019: Today, after a week, I was able to step outside the house. Today, after months, I climbed a few subway stairs—a test run. I was slow and my legs were all shaky. And I am normally one who, always in a rush, holds a green juice in one hand and says, “Excuse me,” as I run up the escalator. But getting a second chance at life also takes away all your unnecessary fears, stress, and pressure. I was OK with being slow today. I was OK with asking for help. Keep in mind, where you are today isn’t your final destination. This isn’t how your story will end. Sending a big hug and a virtual cup of chai to everyone who is healing, hurting, or figuring this thing called life. You are not alone!

Today I walked to get a haircut in honor of my birthday. In the scheme of all the awesome things people are doing in this world, this might sound like nothing. But I am feeling so grateful. The same legs that prepped for the half marathon and yoga teacher training and 12-mile hikes and all the crazy dance workouts couldn’t move with ease for months. But two days before my birthday, they carried me for 1.5 miles, without complaint, and reminded me that healing is just as real as falling sick. Believe in yourself. Believe in the healing power of your own body.

FEBRUARY 2019: Light is on the other side of your scars. When people tell me it’s too cold to step out, I smile. I have been home since September. I have touched windowpanes to feel the change in season since I missed experiencing end of summer fun, autumn boot swag, and the year-end holiday festivities. Trust me; I would give anything to go out in the bat of an eye. But these past few months have taught me that life happens when you are busy planning it. You can’t orchestrate your every move. That is why it is so important to live each moment fully because you never know what tomorrow holds for you. Throw away the fears, the anger, the hurt, the disappointments, the heartaches, the judgments, the inhibitions, or whatever else that is weighing you down. This moment, this breath, that’s all you have for sure. CELEBRATE IT. Celebrate you. Celebrate life.

This week, for the first time since I’d ended up in the ER, I took the subway by myself. It’s been over five months, and I was a little afraid. But my husband and friends and cousins reminded me that if I can fight for my life, I can handle anything. I was the slowest on the stairs and the last one to step outside the subway car. Got off at the wrong stop and wondered how much the neighborhood had changed in five months. I was so exhausted from the short commute that I took a short nap during lunch. I know I have miles to go and my healing is months away, but for this week, these baby steps were enough. Healing takes time and courage.

For the first time since September 2018, I was able to cook an entire meal today. Nothing fancy. And, sure, it took me hours—between rest and breaks and managing pain and seeking my sous-chef husband’s help, and finally getting in a nap—to make Tehri (North Indian rice and vegetable dish—threw in the “masala” egg for protein) and saag (sautéed mustard greens and spinach in garlic and other spices). If you know me, you probably know that I love to cook and entertain. But falling sick suddenly changed everything. For months, I couldn’t even get up to drink a glass of water, and struggled with breathing, never mind cooking or grocery shopping or entertaining. But today, I was able to cook! So what if it took me a really LONG time to prepare this meal? It is still a small, positive change in the healing journey. Gratitude for these miraculous moments.

MARCH 2019: It’s a gorgeous day in New York City today. I was able to go for a walk by myself in the sun. I touched some flowers; took pictures of barren trees; smiled at dogs; listened to podcasts (a few of them). The breeze touched my face, and it felt amazing. I wanted to tell every pedestrian on the sidewalk how blessed they are to experience all of this. But I didn’t because I didn’t want to be the cray-cray lady. Hahaha. The simple things that were inaccessible for six months are becoming available again—even if in small quantities. My heart is full, and I am reminded instantly what a gift it is to be alive.

Here is my friendly advice to anyone who identifies as a woman: stop relying on people to build you up. Stop giving away your power. Instead of seeking outside validation and approval, focus on staying authentic and building your own path. It might feel lonely at first, but you will find your tribe. When a woman stands up for herself, she inspires other women to speak for themselves.

This Holi, festival of colors, we are eating our home-cooked colors (and loving them!) instead of playing with them. Brussel sprouts in glazed soy sauce and ginger, butternut squash sautéed in South Indian spices, wild rice cooked with a small amount of stir-fried Korean chicken, saag, olives marinated in Middle Eastern spices, sunny-side-up eggs, and guacamole—all organic. No grains. No dairy. No gluten. No added sugar. As the wise say, “The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison.”

APRIL 2019: It is so bloody scary to rebuild your body, strength, career, and life from scratch. These past few months have been such a diligent teacher. It’s taught me things about myself and my ecosystem that I am beyond grateful for. It’s reminded me that when you stop fighting the status quo and allow yourself the time to heal, the body reciprocates the love. That said, I will never take a single breath for granted. I will never take a single word that leaves my pen as a given.

We are in the Windy City to celebrate the one-year anniversary of Louisiana Catch. Best gift: the Uber driver says, “You could be the next female Tony Robbins,” and a 7-year-old interviewed me about my writing process and creativity tips.

GOT INVITED TO ONE OF THE BIGGEST CONFERENCES FOR WOMEN! I’m still shaking with joy and in a happy shock! The one thing that haunted me the most when I fell critically ill: feeling invisible. My identity had become my illness. All well-meaning suggestions were about my physical well-being and healing. Getting out of my comfort zone and choosing vulnerability because as Brené Brown, an American professor, lecturer, author, and podcast host, once said, “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.”

You grow where your energy goes. Be very mindful of what you feed your mind.

Your dreams should scare you and make you work harder. Because if they don’t, they are not big enough.

Scarcity mindset helps no one. Invite abundance. Share. Learn. Build a community. Stay positive.

Not everyone will understand your journey, and that is OK. But if you don’t believe in yourself and don’t take action to create opportunities, nothing will ever change for the better.

MAY 2019: My first international trip since I fell ill. Such a strange feeling, landing in the same city on Mother’s Day where my mom passed away five years ago—New Delhi! I bought her favorite Christian Dior lipstick from duty-free and intend to wear it all day today in her honor.

It’s scary to put yourself out there. Yesterday, I walked into a room full of men and there was absolute silence as I spoke about mindset and Ayurveda coaching and how it can transform their lives. Three quarters of the way through the conversation, a gentleman entrepreneur said, “I would pay for your coaching. Respect your knowledge. It makes total sense. You should also give a talk to raise awareness.” All the other men chimed in, “This is powerful work.” BEST PART: my Dad was in that room when this conversation transpired, and once we got home, he said, “It was amazing to see how everyone responded to you. We should have taken a photo.” My father held my hands when I couldn’t walk, massaged my head in the middle of the night when sleep eluded me, and made khichadi (a traditional rice and lentil dish) when I was ill and could barely eat. He reminded me every day to have a positive mindset—how key it was to my own healing. I heard him pray every morning for my recovery—even though my dad isn’t a religious man. I would look at Instagram food videos and say, “Papa, can we please eat ALL of this when I get better and visit India?” To be able to eat, breathe, move, smile, and sleep—such gifts. I will never take them for granted. So grateful to be celebrating resilience, positivity, and my second lease on life. As Roy T. Bennet wrote: “Life is about accepting the challenges along the way, choosing to keep moving forward, and savoring the journey.”

JUNE 2019: I’ve progressed from crawling in pain to being housebound for months to using a wheelchair to actually doing a high intensity workout four days in a row As Janice Trachtman wrote in Catching What Life Throws at You: “Everything is within your power, and your power is within you.” Today, for the first time in nine months, I was able to use my favorite equipment at the gym. I like my workouts just as much as I love writing. I was terrified at first but mostly grateful. It’s just wonderful, being able to move naturally again. I kept playing the Bollywood song Apna Time Aayegaa (“My Time Will Come”) on loop. This was the song I listened to when I couldn’t walk. This was the song I cried to on days hope didn’t want to befriend me. This was the song I whispered to my body when I took my first step after months of being homebound. Never give up faith, friends. I hear you. I see you.

Pain has been my greatest teacher. The one consistent question my surgeon and physician and some friends have asked over the past few months: “Sweta, how did you not get depressed despite nearly dying and losing everything?” My answer: “The resilience and mental strength come from my workouts.” Movement and exercise contribute positively to our mental health. They teach us to cope with our physical and emotional pain. They remind us that our today isn’t a representation of our tomorrow. They reiterate, be mindful of what you put in your body—both food and thoughts. They lower stress.

How about you? Have exercise and movement made a difference to your life?

JULY 2019: In case you needed this reminder today, according to J,K. Rowling: “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” A positive attitude gives you control over your circumstances versus the circumstances controlling you. Did you know that positive thinking can impact your physical, emotional, and mental health? It can even increase your lifespan, lower stress, and improve the quality of your relationships. BUT, how do you stay positive on days when everything feels low and demoralizing?

Three simple things I remind my clients of every week (hope they help you too):

1.It is not your job to make everyone happy.

2.Pay attention to the people around you—are they bringing you down or lifting you up?

3.Self-care isn’t selfish—you can’t serve others from an empty space.

AUGUST 2019: When you are kinder toward yourself, you are more compassionate toward others.

It’s OK to admit you are feeling exhausted.

It’s OK to not take a phone call.

It’s OK to prioritize yourself.

It’s OK to cancel a commitment.

It’s OK to not feel exuberant all the time.

It’s OK to carve out “me-time.”

It’s OK to not be OK at times.

The day I was admitted to the ER, a very dear friend’s husband was admitted, too. I made it out alive, but he didn’t. When she needed me, I was bedridden; when I needed her, she was making his funeral arrangements. That’s how unpredictable life can be. In case you are struggling to feel grateful today and wondering why things are feeling rough, remember, if you are reading this, you are still alive. Focusing on what you have (including your breath) versus what you don’t can make all the difference. As Jon Kabat-Zinn wrote, “Even if you are on your deathbed, as long as you are breathing, there is more right with you than wrong with you.”

SEPTEMBER 2019: Difficult roads, challenging times, and vulnerability can lead to beautiful destinations if you work hard and stay true to your path without competing or complaining. I know how quickly and suddenly everything can be taken away, including your own breath. So, I plan to celebrate small and big moments and learn from hard times but not become hard times.

When you are forced to restart your life from scratch, you lose fear, ego, and expectations. What a scary yet humbling and beautiful feeling to be a beginner. Brené Brown wrote, “The willingness to show up changes us, it makes us a little braver each time.” The higher the resentment, the lower the self-care. If you want peace and calm and contentment and growth in your life, learn to fall in love with imperfections. I am not suggesting turning into a slob, leaving crusty dishes in your sink, or having dirty laundry strewn all over the floor. I mean, if you can love your own messy, flawed self, you will be open to accepting others with human flaws. This simple transformation can lower your expectations of others and in turn reduce your stress, thus improving the quality of your relationships.