G. K. Chesterton
All Things Considered
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Table of contents
THE CASE FOR THE EPHEMERAL
COCKNEYS AND THEIR JOKES
THE FALLACY OF SUCCESS
ON RUNNING AFTER ONE'S HAT
THE VOTE AND THE HOUSE
CONCEIT AND CARICATURE
PATRIOTISM AND SPORT.
AN ESSAY ON TWO CITIES.
FRENCH AND ENGLISH
THE ZOLA CONTROVERSY
OXFORD FROM WITHOUT
WOMAN
THE MODERN MARTYR
ON POLITICAL SECRECY
THOUGHTS AROUND KOEPENICK
THE BOY
ON THE CRYPTIC AND THE ELLIPTIC
THE WORSHIP OF THE WEALTHY
THE METHUSELAHITE
THE ERROR OF IMPARTIALITY
FAIRY TALES
TOM JONES AND MORALITY
THE MAID OF ORLEANS
A DEAD POET
CHRISTMAS
THE CASE FOR THE EPHEMERAL
I
cannot understand the people who take literature seriously; but I can
love them, and I do. Out of my love I warn them to keep clear of this
book. It is a collection of crude and shapeless papers upon current
or rather flying subjects; and they must be published pretty much as
they stand. They were written, as a rule, at the last moment; they
were handed in the moment before it was too late, and I do not think
that our commonwealth would have been shaken to its foundations if
they had been handed in the moment after. They must go out now, with
all their imperfections on their head, or rather on mine; for their
vices are too vital to be improved with a blue pencil, or with
anything I can think of, except dynamite.Their
chief vice is that so many of them are very serious; because I had no
time to make them flippant. It is so easy to be solemn; it is so hard
to be frivolous. Let any honest reader shut his eyes for a few
moments, and approaching the secret tribunal of his soul, ask himself
whether he would really rather be asked in the next two hours to
write the front page of the
Times, which is
full of long leading articles, or the front page of
Tit-Bits, which is
full of short jokes. If the reader is the fine conscientious fellow I
take him for, he will at once reply that he would rather on the spur
of the moment write ten
Times articles than
one Tit-Bits
joke. Responsibility, a heavy and cautious responsibility of speech,
is the easiest thing in the world; anybody can do it. That is why so
many tired, elderly, and wealthy men go in for politics. They are
responsible, because they have not the strength of mind left to be
irresponsible. It is more dignified to sit still than to dance the
Barn Dance. It is also easier. So in these easy pages I keep myself
on the whole on the level of the
Times: it is only
occasionally that I leap upwards almost to the level of
Tit-Bits.I
resume the defence of this indefensible book. These articles have
another disadvantage arising from the scurry in which they were
written; they are too long-winded and elaborate. One of the great
disadvantages of hurry is that it takes such a long time. If I have
to start for High-gate this day week, I may perhaps go the shortest
way. If I have to start this minute, I shall almost certainly go the
longest. In these essays (as I read them over) I feel frightfully
annoyed with myself for not getting to the point more quickly; but I
had not enough leisure to be quick. There are several maddening cases
in which I took two or three pages in attempting to describe an
attitude of which the essence could be expressed in an epigram; only
there was no time for epigrams. I do not repent of one shade of
opinion here expressed; but I feel that they might have been
expressed so much more briefly and precisely. For instance, these
pages contain a sort of recurring protest against the boast of
certain writers that they are merely recent. They brag that their
philosophy of the universe is the last philosophy or the new
philosophy, or the advanced and progressive philosophy. I have said
much against a mere modernism. When I use the word "modernism,"
I am not alluding specially to the current quarrel in the Roman
Catholic Church, though I am certainly astonished at any intellectual
group accepting so weak and unphilosophical a name. It is
incomprehensible to me that any thinker can calmly call himself a
modernist; he might as well call himself a Thursdayite. But apart
altogether from that particular disturbance, I am conscious of a
general irritation expressed against the people who boast of their
advancement and modernity in the discussion of religion. But I never
succeeded in saying the quite clear and obvious thing that is really
the matter with modernism. The real objection to modernism is simply
that it is a form of snobbishness. It is an attempt to crush a
rational opponent not by reason, but by some mystery of superiority,
by hinting that one is specially up to date or particularly "in
the know." To flaunt the fact that we have had all the last
books from Germany is simply vulgar; like flaunting the fact that we
have had all the last bonnets from Paris. To introduce into
philosophical discussions a sneer at a creed's antiquity is like
introducing a sneer at a lady's age. It is caddish because it is
irrelevant. The pure modernist is merely a snob; he cannot bear to be
a month behind the fashion Similarly I find that I have tried in
these pages to express the real objection to philanthropists and have
not succeeded. I have not seen the quite simple objection to the
causes advocated by certain wealthy idealists; causes of which the
cause called teetotalism is the strongest case. I have used many
abusive terms about the thing, calling it Puritanism, or
superciliousness, or aristocracy; but I have not seen and stated the
quite simple objection to philanthropy; which is that it is religious
persecution. Religious persecution does not consist in thumbscrews or
fires of Smithfield; the essence of religious persecution is this:
that the man who happens to have material power in the State, either
by wealth or by official position, should govern his fellow-citizens
not according to their religion or philosophy, but according to his
own. If, for instance, there is such a thing as a vegetarian nation;
if there is a great united mass of men who wish to live by the
vegetarian morality, then I say in the emphatic words of the arrogant
French marquis before the French Revolution, "Let them eat
grass." Perhaps that French oligarch was a humanitarian; most
oligarchs are. Perhaps when he told the peasants to eat grass he was
recommending to them the hygienic simplicity of a vegetarian
restaurant. But that is an irrelevant, though most fascinating,
speculation. The point here is that if a nation is really vegetarian
let its government force upon it the whole horrible weight of
vegetarianism. Let its government give the national guests a State
vegetarian banquet. Let its government, in the most literal and awful
sense of the words, give them beans. That sort of tyranny is all very
well; for it is the people tyrannising over all the persons. But
"temperance reformers" are like a small group of
vegetarians who should silently and systematically act on an ethical
assumption entirely unfamiliar to the mass of the people. They would
always be giving peerages to greengrocers. They would always be
appointing Parliamentary Commissions to enquire into the private life
of butchers. Whenever they found a man quite at their mercy, as a
pauper or a convict or a lunatic, they would force him to add the
final touch to his inhuman isolation by becoming a vegetarian. All
the meals for school children will be vegetarian meals. All the State
public houses will be vegetarian public houses. There is a very
strong case for vegetarianism as compared with teetotalism. Drinking
one glass of beer cannot by any philosophy be drunkenness; but
killing one animal can, by this philosophy, be murder. The objection
to both processes is not that the two creeds, teetotal and
vegetarian, are not admissible; it is simply that they are not
admitted. The thing is religious persecution because it is not based
on the existing religion of the democracy. These people ask the poor
to accept in practice what they know perfectly well that the poor
would not accept in theory. That is the very definition of religious
persecution. I was against the Tory attempt to force upon ordinary
Englishmen a Catholic theology in which they do not believe. I am
even more against the attempt to force upon them a Mohamedan morality
which they actively deny.Again,
in the case of anonymous journalism I seem to have said a great deal
without getting out the point very clearly. Anonymous journalism is
dangerous, and is poisonous in our existing life simply because it is
so rapidly becoming an anonymous life. That is the horrible thing
about our contemporary atmosphere. Society is becoming a secret
society. The modern tyrant is evil because of his elusiveness. He is
more nameless than his slave. He is not more of a bully than the
tyrants of the past; but he is more of a coward. The rich publisher
may treat the poor poet better or worse than the old master workman
treated the old apprentice. But the apprentice ran away and the
master ran after him. Nowadays it is the poet who pursues and tries
in vain to fix the fact of responsibility. It is the publisher who
runs away. The clerk of Mr. Solomon gets the sack: the beautiful
Greek slave of the Sultan Suliman also gets the sack; or the sack
gets her. But though she is concealed under the black waves of the
Bosphorus, at least her destroyer is not concealed. He goes behind
golden trumpets riding on a white elephant. But in the case of the
clerk it is almost as difficult to know where the dismissal comes
from as to know where the clerk goes to. It may be Mr. Solomon or Mr.
Solomon's manager, or Mr. Solomon's rich aunt in Cheltenham, or Mr.
Soloman's rich creditor in Berlin. The elaborate machinery which was
once used to make men responsible is now used solely in order to
shift the responsibility. People talk about the pride of tyrants; but
we in this age are not suffering from the pride of tyrants. We are
suffering from the shyness of tyrants; from the shrinking modesty of
tyrants. Therefore we must not encourage leader-writers to be shy; we
must not inflame their already exaggerated modesty. Rather we must
attempt to lure them to be vain and ostentatious; so that through
ostentation they may at last find their way to honesty.The
last indictment against this book is the worst of all. It is simply
this: that if all goes well this book will be unintelligible
gibberish. For it is mostly concerned with attacking attitudes which
are in their nature accidental and incapable of enduring. Brief as is
the career of such a book as this, it may last just twenty minutes
longer than most of the philosophies that it attacks. In the end it
will not matter to us whether we wrote well or ill; whether we fought
with flails or reeds. It will matter to us greatly on what side we
fought.
COCKNEYS AND THEIR JOKES
A
writer in the
Yorkshire Evening Post
is very angry indeed with my performances in this column. His precise
terms of reproach are, "Mr. G. K. Chesterton is not a humourist:
not even a Cockney humourist." I do not mind his saying that I
am not a humourist—in which (to tell the truth) I think he is quite
right. But I do resent his saying that I am not a Cockney. That
envenomed arrow, I admit, went home. If a French writer said of me,
"He is no metaphysician: not even an English metaphysician,"
I could swallow the insult to my metaphysics, but I should feel angry
about the insult to my country. So I do not urge that I am a
humourist; but I do insist that I am a Cockney. If I were a
humourist, I should certainly be a Cockney humourist; if I were a
saint, I should certainly be a Cockney saint. I need not recite the
splendid catalogue of Cockney saints who have written their names on
our noble old City churches. I need not trouble you with the long
list of the Cockney humourists who have discharged their bills (or
failed to discharge them) in our noble old City taverns. We can weep
together over the pathos of the poor Yorkshireman, whose county has
never produced some humour not intelligible to the rest of the world.
And we can smile together when he says that somebody or other is "not
even" a Cockney humourist like Samuel Johnson or Charles Lamb.
It is surely sufficiently obvious that all the best humour that
exists in our language is Cockney humour. Chaucer was a Cockney; he
had his house close to the Abbey. Dickens was a Cockney; he said he
could not think without the London streets. The London taverns heard
always the quaintest conversation, whether it was Ben Johnson's at
the Mermaid or Sam Johnson's at the Cock. Even in our own time it may
be noted that the most vital and genuine humour is still written
about London. Of this type is the mild and humane irony which marks
Mr. Pett Ridge's studies of the small grey streets. Of this type is
the simple but smashing laughter of the best tales of Mr. W. W.
Jacobs, telling of the smoke and sparkle of the Thames. No; I concede
that I am not a Cockney humourist. No; I am not worthy to be. Some
time, after sad and strenuous after-lives; some time, after fierce
and apocalyptic incarnations; in some strange world beyond the stars,
I may become at last a Cockney humourist. In that potential paradise
I may walk among the Cockney humourists, if not an equal, at least a
companion. I may feel for a moment on my shoulder the hearty hand of
Dryden and thread the labyrinths of the sweet insanity of Lamb. But
that could only be if I were not only much cleverer, but much better
than I am. Before I reach that sphere I shall have left behind,
perhaps, the sphere that is inhabited by angels, and even passed that
which is appropriated exclusively to the use of Yorkshiremen.
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!
Lesen Sie weiter in der vollständigen Ausgabe!