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Stefan Thomas

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Beschreibung

Grow your business, build your career, find more customers, and build a valuable support network of likeminded business people. Networking is a crucial skill for all professionals and business owners. Quite simply, it's a fast and effective way to build your business or career - and excellent networking skills will set you apart from the competition. Business Networking For Dummies shows you how to get the most out of networking - both online and offline. With Business Networking For Dummies, you'll learn to: * Use business networking to grow and develop your business * Find the right platform or platforms to build your own network and 'assemble your crowd' * Pitch yourself and your business with confidence * Get the most out of face-to-face networking events - including valuable tips on presentation skills and sound bites! * Join up your 'real life' and online networking * Measure your networking success * Follow up with new contacts successfully "This is a cornerstone book for anyone involved in running a smaller business and wishing to deploy networking as an enquiry source. It is clear, concise and provides a complete education for succeeding in, what is for some, a difficult environment." Ben Kench, Leading UK sales trainer and business growth specialist "I've read this entire book from start to finish and so should you because, when you know what you're doing, business networking does work, and by following the blueprint that Stef has set down for you: first you'll learn, then you'll earn." Brad Burton, Managing Director, 4Networking Ltd.

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Business Networking For Dummies®

Published by:John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.The AtriumSouthern Gate, Chichesterwww.wiley.com

This edition first published 2014

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10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Business Networking For Dummies

Visit www.dummies.com/cheatsheet/businessnetworking to view this book's cheat sheet.

Table of Contents

Foreword

Introduction

About This Book

Foolish Assumptions

Icons Used in This Book

Beyond the Book

Where to Go from Here

Part I: Getting Started with Business Networking

Chapter 1: Getting to Grips with Networking Basics

Understanding Business Networking

Starting with ‘Why?’

Noting the ‘why’ of networking

Figuring out your ‘why’

Talking to Strangers (Ignore Your Parents’ Advice)

Knowing Who Uses Networking

Realising It’s Not All Funny Handshakes and Old Boys Clubs

Finding Networking Opportunities

Following Networking Guidelines

Networking in a Nutshell: Different Formats

Understanding unstructured networking meetings

Seeking out structured networking meetings

Networking formats you’re likely to encounter

Business networking and referral marketing – same difference?

Chapter 2: Exploring Different Aspects of Networking

Networking for the Employed

Building your skillset using networking

Meeting people in the same industry to swap ideas

Keeping up to date with trends in your industry

Meeting your next boss – career building and future proofing

Networking for the Business Owner

Promoting your business

Finding trusted suppliers: Real-life Google

Keeping up to date with trends in business

Creating your virtual team: The future of business

Networking as Marketing

Clarifying your marketing aims

Reaping the benefits of business networking

Networking Meets Social Media

Seeing the relevance

Making the most of social media

Chapter 3: Setting (Realistic) Expectations

Recognising Why You Need to Set Expectations

Thinking about what You Expect to Get Out of Networking

Coping with your first networking event

Knowing That Networking Isn’t Without Effort

Keeping track of your schedule

Being patient

Chapter 4: Making Use of Networking Organisations

Finding the Right Organisation for You

Start locally

Match your business to the prospect

Finding Independent Networking Clubs

Contacting your local chamber of commerce

Finding local independent networking groups

Joining Commercial Networking Organisations (in the UK)

4Networking

BNI

Business Scene

FSB

NRG

Women-only networking organisations

Coming across Co-working

Co-working hubs

KindredHQ

Regus

Specialist and Niche Networking Organisations and Groups

Understanding the Politics of Networking Groups

Running Your Own Networking Club

Remembering Why You Got Involved

Chapter 5: Networking at Trade Shows

Knowing What to Expect from a Trade Show

The Great British Business Show

The Welsh Business Shows

New Start Scotland

Finding Local and National Trade Shows

Making Your Trade Show Experience a Success

Networking at trade shows, big or small

Becoming part of the crowd

Feeling the Need for Speed Networking

Doing something different

Following up

Part II: Face-to-face Networking

Chapter 6: Attending Networking Meetings

Finding Time to Network

Recognising that networking is real work

Networking to suit you and your business

Using your time twice

Deciding What to Wear and What to Take with You

Making sure that you understand the dress code

Thinking about the impression you want to make

Being prepared with business cards – and plenty of them

Taking promotional material

Knowing What Time to Arrive

Checking the meeting timings

Entering as an early bird or fashionably late?

Calming Your Nerves

Knowing why your nerves may be your biggest asset

Keeping on top of first-time jitters

Managing your nerves and appearing confident

Knowing what time to go home

Chapter 7: Making Connections in Open Networking

Understanding Open Networking

Introducing Yourself to People You Don’t Know

Recognising that everyone’s in the same boat

Choosing who to approach

Making an Impression

The handshake

Starting a conversation

Answering ‘So, what do you do?’

Chapter 8: Nailing the Introductions Round

Getting the Scoop on the Introductions Round

Remembering that you’re trying to get the interview, not the job

Avoiding the elevator pitch error

Standing Out from the Crowd

Preparation, preparation, preparation

Think about what they might be buying, not what you’re selling

Using soundbites

Using props

Understanding body language

Can you hear me?

Injecting your introduction with passion and confidence

Rules to Follow and Things to Avoid

Introducing Sample Templates for Your Introduction

The attention grabber

The third-party endorsement

Remembering What You Planned to Say

Chapter 9: Handling One-to-Ones

Getting the Scoop on One-to-Ones

Having a one-to-one with everyone

Getting the Most from One-to-Ones

Where to have a one-to-one

When to have a one-to-one

Asking open questions

Are you listening or waiting for your turn to speak?

Making notes to follow up with

Taking notes like a pro

Knowing What to Do After the Meeting

Chapter 10: Breezing Through the Ten-Minute Speaker Slot

Recognising the Opportunity

Reaping the benefits

Understanding stock value

Planning and Preparing

Looking at Different Networks, Different Opportunities, Different Approaches

Using ten minutes to talk about your business

Using ten minutes not to talk about your business

Structuring Your Presentation

Questions and answers

Checking your timings

Coping when the day comes

Chapter 11: Following Up

Following Up to Win

Ouch! Dealing with Your Piles

Making the most of business cards

Using CRM systems

Evaluating email marketing software

Following Up Successfully

Thinking about your follow up

Being creative

Reminding People about Your Business

Asking for business

Asking for referrals

Part III: Networking Online and Using Social Media

Chapter 12: Networking Online

Introducing Online Networking

Finding Business Networking Forums

Joining an Online Community

Becoming Part of Any Community

Advertising is Okay (Sometimes)

Calling First Means That You Often Get the Job

Establishing Yourself as the ‘Go-To Guy’ in the Community

Chapter 13: Using Social Media to Keep Relationships Alive

Venturing into Social Media

Realising that the times, they are a-changing

Entering social media

Winning Friends and Influencing People

Finding common ground

Forming meaningful relationships

Going local, regional, national or international

Joining in other people’s conversations

Staying in Your Contacts’ Field of Vision

Going beyond: Following up with social media

Thinking business? Think personal as well

Spotting easy referral opportunities

Getting Maximum Value from Blogging by Hardly Writing a Word

Curating information about your industry or profession

Remembering it’s about conversation not content

Chapter 14: Networking Using Different Social Media Platforms

Choosing the Right Platform for Your Business

Twitter

Facebook

LinkedIn

Google+

Blogs

Instagram

Vine

Foursquare

Pinterest

Taking the Next Steps in Social Media

Chapter 15: Joining Up Your Online and Offline Networking

Acknowledging that People are People – However You Connect

Finding Your Strongest Connections

Meeting People Before You Meet Them

Researching your prospects

Listening online, then speaking on the phone

Part IV: Turbo-charging Your Networking

Chapter 16: Using Networking to Build Your Business

Standing Out in Networking

Putting in the effort

Remembering that networking isn’t easy

Engaging your brain and engaging your network

Finding better ways to advertise than shouting to strangers

Boosting Your Business with Personal Branding

Learning from Evian’s posh bottles

Being a product of the product

Using Networking as an Excuse

Getting to your ideal prospects using networking

Using networking for businesses that can’t cold call

Chapter 17: Building Networking into Your Business Strategy

Circles Within Circles: It Isn’t Just About Who You Know

Staying in Touch When You Said You Would

Finding people to talk to

Growing your network as people come and go

Thinking Outside the Limited Company

Building Your Virtual Team

Settling Into a Routine and Knowing What Works for You

Part V: Measuring Your Success

Chapter 18: Networking or Notworking?

Measuring your Return on Investment

Recognising and recording the value in every meeting

Finding the hidden value in networking

Adjusting Your Mindset to Spot the Benefits

Listening to your intuition

Keeping an open mind

Acknowledging that networking is always working

Chapter 19: Revisiting Your Approach

Using Networking as a Sounding Board

Nobody’s asking you for a one-to-one

Business is dribbling in

You’re getting one-to-ones but nobody’s buying

You view knock backs negatively

Using Your Networking Contacts to Advise You

Launching new products to your networking crowd

Trying new pitches

Tailoring your approach to your environment

Discovering the secret to turning around your networking experience

Keeping Faith with Networking

Part VI: The Part of Tens

Chapter 20: Ten Ways to Improve Your Networking Results

Do More Networking

Become Part of Your Group’s Team

Volunteer for the Ten-Minute Slot

Take an Honest Look at Your 40-Second Introduction

Attend Meetings of Other Networking Groups

Phone People

Run a Mini-Seminar after a Networking Event

Use Social Media

Make it Easy for People to Buy from You

Understand that Networking is Working

Chapter 21: Ten Networking Gaffes to Avoid

Talking Only About Yourself

Overrunning

Being Late

Whispering during Other People’s Introductions

Ridiculing or Disrespecting Your Competitors

Adding People to Your Mailing List without Permission

Judging a Book by Its Cover

Not Following Up

Treating Networking as a One-Off Sale

Forgetting to Smile

About the Author

Cheat Sheet

More Dummies Products

Guide

Table of Contents

Begin Reading

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Foreword

‘Business Networking doesn’t work!’

You’re absolutely right . . . it doesn’t, when you do it wrong.

You know what makes Stef Thomas an expert? He got it wrong, or at the very least witnessed someone else do it wrong; making mistakes in the field of business networking; as in, all of them. Every single faux pas you could possibly make, he’s been/seen it all.

He got it wrong, as we all do when trying out new things. He’s made those costly and often embarrassing mistakes . . . so you don’t have to.

Back in 2008 when I first met him at a networking event, he was wet behind the ears, like many fledgling ‘entrepreneurs’ (also known as self-employed and very much skint). He had to juggle family, work, networking, budgets, confidence and self-doubt.

It hasn’t always been easy for him, but with most things, often the difference between success and failure is not quitting even when it’s tough. He’s been close . . . but he has never quit.

Stef is a truly spectacular guy who behaves just like a normal one. That’s what endears him to the audiences at his seminars and also makes him so amazing. He’s unaware of his brilliance – whether speaking to an audience of a thousand or in this case, by writing several thousand words to support you, the reader, on your networking journey.

This is a modern-day book for a modern-day approach to modern-day networking. As you’ll see, networking has evolved. It’s moved on. It’s no longer about vol-au-vents, chablis and sell, sell, sell.

Ironically, business networking is less about business but more about people. Stef recognises this, having spent the last few years deepening and widening his network.

Sometimes it isn’t the best person for the job who wins it, but the one who’s daft enough to keep going when others tell you you’ve got it wrong. In writing this book, Stef will likely stir up some of those critics who, over the years, have said his networking investment was wasted, to have networked his way from that first meeting, to writing this book.

Case in point: he’s finally got his networking right.

This isn’t just some puff piece. I’ve read this entire book from start to finish and so should you because, when you know what you’re doing, business networking does work, and by following the blueprint that Stef has set down for you: first you’ll learn, then you’ll earn.

@BradBurtonManaging Director4Networking Ltd

Introduction

Thank you.

If you’re reading this little book, you’ve put a lot of faith in me. I appreciate that and have made every effort to pack as much as possible into this book so that you get massive value from it.

Thank you because this book justifies a lot of what I’ve blogged and spoken about at networking events for years.

Thank you because every person who makes a commitment to getting better at business networking makes the experience better and the opportunity greater; not just for themselves but for every other business person out there networking too.

Small businesses rule the world. Small businesses are the guys who supply big businesses, and provide extra employment opportunities. Small businesses also, of course, sometimes turn into big businesses.

The more that small businesses talk to each other, and exchange ideas and business, and acknowledge their vital role in the economy the better. Business networking is a huge part of that and can help to enable and facilitate that interaction.

I fell in love with business networking as an activity about six years ago because it offers so much more than most people realise. I’ve seen people’s businesses and lives changed, including my own, through business networking.

I include a number of personal anecdotes in this book but the following is the one that nicely squares the circle of the story of this book.

After six years of business networking, I’ve attended over 650 networking meetings and posted on the 4Networking website around 18,000 times. I’ve attended the Business Startup Show and helped 4Networking (4N) on the stand every year for the last five years, becoming a Director of 4N in late 2012.

At a networking event after the Business Startup Show in May 2013, I turned to my neighbour and asked, ‘So what do you do?’ Sarah told me she was part of the team that creates For Dummies books, which I might have heard of, and I asked, ‘Have you ever thought about doing one about business networking?’.

The fact is that I found the opportunity to write this book at a networking event. The fact that I put the hours in led to being sat next to Sarah that day. All the lessons that I learned from this great experience, I’ve squeezed into this little book.

About This Book

I’ve structured the book so that you don’t have to start at the beginning; you can pick it up and only read up on the subject that you particularly want to find out about, using the index and table of contents.

I suggest, however, that if you have a few free evenings you do read it cover to cover. Doing so will not only massage my ego but also give you an overview and a broader knowledge of why business networking works in the way that it does.

Foolish Assumptions

In this book, I make some assumptions about you:

You’re new to business networking or have a desire to get better at it.You’re involved in some sort of business or commercial exploit, whether you own the business or are an employee.You want to grow that business, sell more, develop personally and understand how to wring value out of your networking.You’re prepared to read what I’ve got to say and work out how you can apply it to your situation, your business and your networking activity.

Icons Used in This Book

To help you navigate the content, all For Dummies books lay out key points of advice in an easy-to-use format. Look out for these icons throughout the book:

This icon points to useful takeaway ideas that you can immediately implement in your networking.

This icon highlights key information to bear in mind.

As you may have guessed, this icon is reserved for the bits of advice that you really, really need to take on board. Typically, in this book, it warns against what not to do.

This icon indicates a true-to-life example to help illustrate a point.

Beyond the Book

In addition to the material in the print or e-book you’re reading right now, this product also comes with some access-anywhere extras on the web.

Find articles about networking around the world at www.dummies.com/cheatsheet/businessnetworking, plus an extra Part of Tens chapter at www.dummies.com/extras/businessnetworking.

Where to Go from Here

Where do you want to go?

Do you want to get more out of open networking? In which case, go straight to Chapter 7. Do you want to join up your online and real-life networking? Jump straight in to Part III; you’ll like it in there.

Alternatively, start reading from the next chapter and see where it takes you.

Part I

Getting Started with Business Networking

For Dummies can help you get started with lots of subjects. Go to www.dummies.com to learn more and do more with For Dummies.

In this part …

Know what to expect from business networking.Build your skillset, from public speaking to expanding your understanding of other businesses.Discover the many different business networking organisations and choose the right one for you.Read tips on networking at trade shows.

Chapter 1

Getting to Grips with Networking Basics

In This chapter

Deciding why to focus on business networking

Examining where it all started

Understanding what to expect

In this first chapter, I explain why I fell in love with business networking, after a particularly shaky start. I also explain some of the options you have, and what you should expect if you’re about to start networking.

Most importantly, I give you a few pointers and belie some of the common myths about networking, as well as plot a course from when the first person decided to go networking to where we are now.

Understanding Business Networking

I would love to be able to tell you where networking started and who it started with. It would be a brilliant start to this book if I were to give dates and historical evidence to support my contention that everyone everywhere needs to network in some way.

Focusing on business networking particularly, I reckon it started when a caveman (I’ll call him Og, although the truth is I don’t know) was really good at hunting oxen and his neighbour (who we shall call Ug) was well known locally for being able to make fire. Ug would always help Og make a fire and, in return, Og would give Ug some of his oxen meat; a sort of early barter arrangement.

Ug was one day helping another villager, Ig, to make a fire. Ig made spears and Ug mentioned, most likely by drawing on the wall of the cave, that his mate Og would be really interested in looking at Ig’s spears and he would bring him along tomorrow to meet him.

Whether Og, Ug or Ig ever existed and whether there ever was an exchange of spears we shall never know. But I reckon that, when people first started specialising in something, that was when something akin to networking began happening.

Sadly, Og worked out that his best bet was to kill Ig, steal all his spears and keep the oxen meat. It always was a rough neighbourhood!

Tens of thousands of years later, a guy called Stefan walked into his first ever business networking event and therein started a love affair.

This affair began by attacking networking with brute force myself, simply by doing as much of it as I possibly could and forcing myself to find out how to do it better along the way.

But before I learned ‘how?’, I needed to understand ‘why?’.

Starting with ‘Why?’

You found out how to walk because you wanted to reach the exciting things that your parents had placed just out of your reach. The exciting things looked so good that the falls and the effort required to hoist yourself up, fall down and hoist yourself up again were worth it. After a few weeks of repeating these moves, you were able to take your first tentative steps. Then, you grabbed the first thing you could reach and put it in your mouth.

You learned to talk so that you could then give your parents feedback on the stuff they were leaving around for you to put in your mouth and ask them to put slightly tastier things within reach.

Around 17 years later, you wanted to travel further afield for more and tastier things, or wished to impress the opposite sex, so you found out how to use a complicated and expensive device (the car!) so that you could move around the country with relative ease.

At every stage, you first had a big reason ‘why’ you wanted to do something that involved lots of effort to learn how to do properly.

Had the ‘why’ not been there, had really tasty things been within easy reach, you may never have bothered with any of the above.

Noting the ‘why’ of networking

Today you have an opportunity to find out how to network, or how to network better.

Now I love networking. I love it enough that it’s a huge part of what I do and these days I get an awful lot out of it. But getting it right may take a bit of effort and, like getting good at anything in life, you need to work out why you want to do it, so you can remember that if it ever feels hard.

What’s your biggest challenge in business? What’s the thing that keeps you awake at night or distracts you while you’re trying to work? What would you like to be better at or have more of?

Write it down. Is what you’ve written down worth a bit of effort? If it is worth some effort, brilliant; if it isn’t, then you’re not thinking hard enough.

If you wrote down ‘sharks’, you’re just being silly.

Whatever you wrote down (except sharks), you’ll be able to solve that challenge or find that thing through business networking.

I reckon you wrote down something like:

I’ve just started a business and don’t know what to do next.We don’t have enough clients.Our advertising isn’t working.I don’t know how to sell what I’m doing.I’m not confident enough.I need to start selling before I run out of cash.I’ve run out of cash.I need to know how to do something better.Nobody understands what I’m selling.There’s too much competition for what I’m doing.

Do any of these resonate with you?

If you get good at business networking, by reading the rest of this book plus practising and refining as you go, you really can find whatever your business needs by building your network around you:

More confidenceMore contactsMore sales

Revealing my ‘why’

Networking was well and truly outside of my comfort zone when I first started doing it – spectacularly so.

My ‘why’ was that I had to make my business work. I had no other way of paying the mortgage or bills. My ‘why’ was more desperation than anything else because at that point, in 2007, I was standing with my back to the cliff edge. I had nowhere else to go but forward.

I also realised at around that time that I wasn’t a salesperson. I was great at a lot of things but I hated cold-calling and going door to door trying to talk to business owners (I tried it. Even in the summer it wasn’t fun, so imagine doing it in the rain.)

I latched onto networking with a couple of big ‘whys’. I needed to make my business work. And I wanted to do that without selling door to door.

Figuring out your ‘why’

What is the thing that’s going to make you really want to get good at this business and make it work?

Do you really want your business to work? Do you really want to get more out of business networking? Do you really want to answer another rhetorical question?

Go back a step further. Why are you really doing this? What is the thing that gets you up every morning and keeps you working on your business even when the going is tough?

Is it that you want to make a difference? Do you want your kids to have a better life than you did? Perhaps you want to take more holidays or to build up a decent pension?

I can’t answer this question for you, but if you run a business, you’re going to need to know why you’re doing it. That’s what gets you out of bed and working; that’s what keeps you going when you have to put in the extra work and do the things you need to do, particularly as you’re building your business.

Think about why you want this business to work. Write it down. Refer back to it if you ever question yourself.

Talking to Strangers (Ignore Your Parents’ Advice)

One of the issues around networking is that it goes against everything you were told as a child.

I grew up in the 1970s (and will let you know when I stop growing up and become a grown up). Something that I was repeatedly told, by parents, teachers, nuns (Catholic school) and by the Public Information Films on the telly, was that I shouldn’t talk to strangers.

Thirty odd years later, and I was walking into a room full of people who I didn’t know – all of whom were strangers and all of whom I was expected to talk to!

This talking to strangers filled me with dread for a lot of reasons. Firstly, it went against those teachings from cleverer and bigger people than me when I was little. Secondly, I convinced myself that everyone else in the room was somehow ‘better’ than me.

I convinced myself that everyone else would have a better business, would be much more confident in what they were doing, probably have a better car and undoubtedly go on better holidays than me. Who was I, just starting out in the self-employed arena, to have anything in common with these giants of the local business world?

I learned a really valuable lesson in those early days, which I have had to learn and re-learn pretty much every day since. If I wanted to be any sort of success, I had to learn to get over myself and my little fears and insecurities. I had to push out of my comfort zone a little bit, then a little bit more, then a little bit more.

I was once told by someone not to think about going out of my comfort zone. Why would I want to do that? My comfort zone is comfortable. I like being comfortable. He taught me to think about going into my adventure zone. Instead of thinking that I’m leaving something comfortable, I now think about entering somewhere exciting. My comfort zone broadly involves me sitting at home eating crisps and watching repeats of Open All Hours. My adventure zone is akin to getting to go to Alton Towers every day and each time encountering a brand new and more thrilling ride.

No matter what your parents, teachers or kindly nuns taught you, ignore that for a while. If you’re going to be any sort of success in business, you will need to talk to other people and a business networking environment, where everybody has chosen to be there and nobody has to worry too much about selling straight away, is the friendliest and most effective arena I’ve found for achieving that.

Knowing Who Uses Networking

People often ask me, ‘So, who is going to be there?’ or ‘What types of businesses will be at the event?’

The truth is, all sorts of businesses use networking and all sorts of people go to networking events.

I’ve met the entire spectrum of business types and types of business people at networking events, from new start-ups through to owners of big businesses. No type of business is represented every time and not every type of business person is found at every event.

Try thinking about mining when you think about networking. Every type of business with every need and every purchasing requirement can be found here. Think of networking like this: you’ve established that there’s gold here; you just don’t know where the biggest nuggets are and where you’ll simply dig without finding much.

But when you’re mining, you keep digging and that’s exactly what I recommend you do with your networking activity. Keep refining your approach by all means; keep finding better and more efficient tools to help you network. But keep digging.

What I sometimes see people do is dig for a while, then give up and go to dig another hole somewhere else, in a different networking group. Somehow they expect that, if they move from networking group to networking group often enough, they’ll somehow stumble across a magical group of people waiting to buy from them.

Obviously, I’m a director of a networking organisation, so I have a preference. But find a networking organisation that suits you and stick with it. Find one where you’re comfortable with the culture and the value that you can get from the network. Then apply every tool at your disposal to make it work.

Don’t ever just focus on the people in the room; always keep in mind that you’re also talking to everyone they know.

Thinking beyond the room

I first met Kathy in 2009 when she was a self-employed, sole trader, HR consultant. Kathy and I had a one-to-one and she became a client of mine. I was helping her write the content for her website, blog and email newsletters. Things were going well and Kathy’s business was growing. After about six months, however, I got a call to say that Kathy was winding up the business. It turned out that she’d been headhunted by a large retailer with over 3,500 employees in over 500 outlets. You see, before launching her own business, Kathy had held senior HR positions, up to director-level, at various well-known UK retailers. So I had lost a client, but a friend had got a great job.

About six months after that happened I got another call from Kathy, asking if I could, at short notice, do a presentation to the staff at their new store in Cardiff. Kathy knew that I could handle that, as she’d seen me present at various 4Networking events.

I did that presentation and, for the next year and a half, each month got three or four days’ work from the same company. Kathy remained there as HR director for about four years.

The story moves on a little bit. Knowing that I had a large network of small businesses around me, Kathy used me as the ‘go to’ guy whenever she needed anything. She knew that I would always know someone who I trusted and had a good reputation as a supplier. My contacts saved her a lot of time and meant she didn’t have to choose someone with whom she had no connection. In total, nine people from within my network received a referral to work with the organisation: a life coach, a health and safety specialist, a printer and a car leasing company, among others.

So my one-to-one had led to a very decent amount of work for me, plus referrals to other businesses too.

The story doesn’t end there. One person had once turned Kathy down for a one-to-one. He didn’t ‘need’ to talk to her when she was a ‘little’ business, but he got in touch with me as soon as he noticed that she was now with a big company, asking for an introduction.

Never underestimate the other people in the room and never judge your networking based on your perception of them. You never know who someone used to be, who they’re connected to now or who they may go on to become in the future.

Think beyond the room. Every connection – every real connection – has value.

Remember, always, that whether your networking efforts work, or not, is ultimately your responsibility.

Rather than looking elsewhere for the ‘right’ people, have a look at your approach, refine, revisit, measure and make it work.

Realising It’s Not All Funny Handshakes and Old Boys Clubs

One of my biggest worries when I first started going to networking events was that I had a stereotype in my head that I couldn’t shake. I thought that the room would be full of people with much more business experience than me, all wearing very smart suits, and have the atmosphere of some of the uncomfortable business events I had attended early in my career.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Networking events that do feel like ‘old boys clubs’ do exist, and they have a place. For example, you can find events that just welcome men, and events that only welcome women.

But for each of the above, you can also find at least as many networking events that welcome everyone, regardless of business type, business experience, dress code, gender or anything else. Plenty of networking events make everyone feel welcome and confident.

Some people are more comfortable with a strict structure, a defined dress code or only in the company of people of the same sex. But to my mind, every time you’re at a networking event with a restriction, you’re restricting the number of people you can meet, connect with and potentially do business with.

However, even in this section, I’m stating my opinion and my preference. What is important is that you choose a networking group or organisation that suits you and, throughout this book, I give advice and guidance to help you do so.

Finding Networking Opportunities

A networking opportunity to suit you really does exist, whatever your preference for types of events and format and whether you choose to look locally, regionally or nationally (or even internationally, come to that).

Chapter 4 of this book provides lots of guidance on finding networking opportunities but, in brief, start with recommendations from people you already know in business. If that fails, Google is your friend.

I will say something here, though. If you’re starting your networking career, go to as many events as you can and work out what’s the best fit for you. Think about:

Where do you feel comfortable?What structure works for you?Are you being asked to commit to being there and, if so, is that a realistic commitment for you?

Try before you commit.

Following Networking Guidelines

Any networking group or organisation has certain guidelines, sometimes written and enforced, sometimes unwritten and simply expected.

I’m not a fan of rules anymore. I think that a lot of rules in business were created for a different age and many are no longer relevant. Who decided that people in business should dress in a particular way? And why does dressing a certain way make you more ‘professional’? A suit is just a uniform.

One of the many extra benefits of networking is that you get to know other people’s rules and decide whether you want to work with them or not. You may decide that it’s in the interests of your business to follow some laid-down rules and guidelines, or instead that you went into business to make your own decisions and not follow other people’s rules.

What networking can also give you is the confidence to decide such things for yourself. For a long time, I acted in the way I was expected to act and dressed in the way I was expected to dress, purely to suit other people’s rules. Once I became confident enough to do things my way, I found that I was more relaxed and, as a direct result, people were more relaxed around me.

What I don’t want to do in this chapter is make you worry, if you’re about to embark on your first networking experience, that there’ll be a load of rules that you have to abide by.

Turn up and be yourself and make sure that any networking event fits you before you commit to it.

Networking in a Nutshell: Different Formats

Networking involves lots of different formats and structures and I go into them in more detail in Chapter 6. Here, I just give you a flavour of what to expect, particularly if you’re thinking of going along for the first time, or attending something different to your usual meeting.

Understanding unstructured networking meetings

You’ll find networking meetings, and events listing networking as part of the format, which can best be described as ‘unstructured’.

The best way to describe these meetings is that they’re in a room full of people and you get to choose whether or not you go up and talk to the others.

Some people really thrive in these kind of meetings, and work the room with ease and panache, talking to everyone they have time for and always exchanging business cards. I deal with open networking like this in Chapter 7.

Bear in mind that if you’re invited to an event or dinner that has something else as the main event but lists ‘networking’ as well, it probably means that there’ll be lots of other people in the room. The networking probably doesn’t have any structure.

Seeking out structured networking meetings

The type of networking meeting that I’m most familiar with (and personally prefer) is structured. These meetings are where the networking forms part of a proven structure or script.

I like this type of meeting because it forces me to network. In open networking situations, you may be tempted to simply chat to the people you know. In structured networking, the structure typically gives you the opportunity to talk to people you don’t know as well.

Networking formats you’re likely to encounter

I could write a whole book on the different formats of structured networking groups but will concentrate on the ones I know best and have come across most often.

Speed networking is often a person’s first introduction to networking, as it’s widely used at trade and business shows, not least because it creates a lot of energy and, undoubtedly, everyone gets to meet a large number of people. Put simply, at speed networking you get a minute to talk to someone, then you move on to the next person; you repeat this process until you’ve run out of people or the event has reached the end of its time. Speed networking is exhausting, frantic and lots of people enjoy it and collect lots of business cards.

Networking over a meal is really common and forms the basis of 4Networking, the organisation of which I’m a director. Typically, you meet with people over breakfast, lunch or dinner and a group leader, chapter director or chair runs the meeting to a script. This script always involves you introducing yourself to the group, as well as spaces for open networking and other parts of the meeting, such as a guest speaker and one-to-one meetings with other attendees. To my mind, the act of sitting and having a meal with others does help to quickly establish relationships and break down boundaries. There’s something extremely social about doing that and the social element leads to a relaxed and efficient way of starting to do business.

Some local meetings have large numbers and you’re split into tables where most of your actual networking is done with the other people on the same table as you.

If you’re at that sort of meeting, get out of your comfort zone and sit with the people you don’t know.

You can read more about this kind of meeting in Chapter 6.

Business networking and referral marketing – same difference?

As well as networking meetings using different structures, you’ll also find that different organisations have subtly, but importantly, different aims.

You need to recognise that networking organisations structure themselves and their meetings differently, to ease the exchange of business between members, but in different ways.

Referral marketing is the process of attending networking meetings with the specific intent of generating referrals and leads from other members of the group. These referrals are typically passed on paper slips and generally involve the person giving you the referral having passed on your details to someone else who may need your service. These referrals are, of course, of different levels of value to the receiver. Some of them are simply the name of someone who may be interested, right through to a name and mobile number for someone who’s interested, has had your service briefly introduced by the person referring you, and is now eagerly anticipating your call.

If someone’s good enough to pass you a referral, please be good enough to follow it up promptly and feed back to the referrer how you got on. The easiest way to dissuade someone from passing you any more referrals is to forget or not bother to call the people who’ve been referred to you. A thank you is free, and goes an awfully long way in both business and life.

The purpose of your attendance and introduction at meetings with a referral marketing slant is to continue to educate the other members about your business, so that they know exactly what you do and who you’d like as a referral. BNI, the largest business networking organisation, has used this approach on a global level.

Business networking, on the other hand, is where you build relationships with the other people in the room, not just with the expectation of winning referrals from them. At business networking events and in business networking organisations, the relationships have value in and of themselves and can lead to business being passed, to joint ventures being formed, to trusted suppliers being found and to businesses being developed often far beyond what the business owner originally expected.

The purpose of your attendance and introduction at business networking meetings is to build and develop your crowd, those people who come to like, know and trust you and with whom you end up doing business or passing business to. 4Networking, I’m proud to say, has a massive network of joined-up business networking groups across the UK and in Australia.

Business networking and referral marketing require lots of the same skills, applied in slightly different ways.

Make referrals whether or not doing so is expected as part of your networking organisation. Be the person who gives. Be the person who others want to know because you’re a natural giver. Give without expectation of return.

Take personal responsibility. If you’re not getting any referrals, you need to work out why and do something about it. If you’re not getting any business from networking, you need to work out why and do something about it. Never blame the other people in the room; they’ve got their own businesses and their own stuff going on. Refine and refine again until you make your networking efforts work.

You’ve already been networking without realising it!

Before you decide that networking isn’t for you, please read this sidebar. Before you tell me that you’re not the sort of person who goes networking, please read this sidebar. Before you decide to sit in your box room and aggressively wait for the phone to ring, please read this sidebar.

You’re already networking and telling people about your business. You already have a brief introduction, which you tell people when asked what you do.

At the school gates, at the pub, at the golf club, at the swimming pool, at the gym, at your football or rugby club, at work if you’re building your business on the side, on Facebook and wherever else, you talk to people.

You talk to people about what you do and you talk to people about what your partner does as well, so you already know how to introduce other people’s businesses too.