Hints to Servants E-Book

Jonathan Swift

• Herausgeber: Booksell-Verlag
• Kategorie: Lebensstil
• Sprache: Englisch

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2021

Beschreibung

Hints to Servants is a compelling anthology that weaves together diverse literary styles and voices from different epochs to explore the intricate socio-economic dynamics and satirical observations surrounding the theme of servitude. Through this collection, readers encounter a captivating range of prose that challenges societal norms with humor and biting wit. The anthology'Äôs richness is further amplified by standout pieces that use contrasting tones, from pointed satire to subtle irony, ensuring that each work adds a unique texture to the overarching narrative of power, subservience, and rebellion. The authors included in this collection, notably Jonathan Swift and John Jones, bring a wealth of literary prowess and historical context, making this anthology a profound reflection of their times. Swift, renowned for his sharp satirical edge, and Jones, bringing a distinct modernist interpretation, together elevate the discourse on servitude. The collection fluidly aligns with both the Augustan age'Äôs penchant for satire and modern insights, making it a bridge between historical and contemporary literary movements. It is a testament to the power of literature to transcend time, offering insights into societal structures and the human condition. This anthology is a must-read for those eager to explore a tapestry of narrative voices. It offers an unparalleled opportunity to delve into the complexities of servitude through a confluence of perspectives and styles. Engaging with this collection invites readers to broaden their understanding of historical and cultural nuances that continue to resonate today. In doing so, it fosters a dialogue that is as educational as it is enlightening, making Hints to Servants a significant addition to any literary enthusiast's collection.

Leseprobe

Jonathan Swift, John Jones

Hints to Servants

Being a Poetical and Modernised Version of Dean Swift's Celebrated "Directions to Servants"

Published by Good Press, 2022

[email protected]

EAN 4057664634986

Table of Contents

THE BUTLER.

THE COOK.

THE VALET.

THE WAITING-WOMAN.

THE FOOTMAN.

THE HOUSEKEEPER.

THE CHAMBERMAID.

THE PORTER.

THE HOUSEMAID.

THE STEWARD.

THE GROOM.

THE COACHMAN.

THE NURSERY MAID.

THE DAIRY-MAID.

THE WET NURSE.

THE LAUNDRESS.

THE GOVERNESS.

A FEW RULES, WHICH CONCERN ALL SERVANTS IN GENERAL.

THE BUTLER.

Table of Contents

Of servants, whether best or worst,

The Butler seems to rank the first;

Whose sparkling aid calls up the Nine,—

Such virtue dwells in rosy wine.

There's none can draw a cork like you,

You're such a perfect 'thorough screw.'

Who else can keep within the tether

Mirth and economy together?

At home for ever to a shaving,

In all the honest arts of saving.

Since those who dine at the same table

Are friends, why shouldn't you be able

To make one glass, or two at most,

Serve for both company and host?

Thus saving both fatigue and breaking,

And, most of all, the wine they're taking.

Serve not one guest amidst the feast,

Till he has call'd three times at least;

Further his temp'rance you may fix

By sundry nasty little tricks,

More fit, because your own invention,

For you to use than me to mention.

On your behaviour stands confest

The pain or ease of ev'ry guest;

You can ensure a hearty greeting,

Or make it like a Quakers' meeting.

From what your Master seems to do,

You and the footmen take your cue;

At least your Lady'll teem with praise,

You've got such 'shrewd, discerning ways.'

Should any one desire small beer,

The end of dinner somewhat near,

Gather the droppings (exc'lent fun)

Of all the glasses into one.

This you may do and none perceive,

"The eye don't see, the heart won't grieve:"

Thus you may make a mighty chatter

Of saving in the smallest matter.

But when they chance to call for ale,

More bright the joke more brisk the tale,

Down to the vaults, and if not filling

The largest tankard till o'erspilling,

Then you're not fit to hold your station,

Not fit to fill—your situation:

The company just drink two glasses,

And you the rest amongst the lasses.

The same thing with respect to wine;

It's only just the whilst it's fine

It suits our masters: good, i'fegs!

So half the bottle goes for dregs;

Ha! ha! we're then, instead of napping,

Like the woodpecker,—always 'tapping.'

Of course, occasion'ly you tell o'er

The true contents of all the cellar.

Again of course, the choicest bottle

Scarce greets at all your Master's throttle.

The deuce a bit (if you've the tact)

You care, if he suspects the fact;

Then, to ensure his constant favour,

Treat him, sometimes, for good behaviour!

Wipe knives, rub tables, clean your plate,—

What can be more appropriate?

With table-cloths: 'tis bold, and dashing,

But saves in dusters and in washing.

In cleaning plate some talk of 'tricks,'

Leaving the whiting in the nicks;

The same with things in brass and copper:

But I contend it's right and proper;

Shows that you never kept aloof on't,

But did the thing—and left a proof on't!

I know no writer yet that handles

The saving article of candles;

But whilst convinc'd how much depends

On ev'ry mortal's private 'ends'

The subject, I'll not wholly doff it,

It yields us all such glaring profit.

Nor light them soon nor burn them low,

And part upon the Cook bestow;

No wretch alive would be that despot,

To go to rob the woman's grease-pot!

Though some may say you rob their pockets,

By what is wasted in the sockets:

A plague on all such meanness! scout it,

And never vex your sconce about it.

The noblest task in all your line,

Is bottling off a Pipe of Wine;

Not that you drink wine from the vat,

You know a 'trick worth two of that,'

But that it makes you (yet no stealer)

A reputable private dealer.

Choosing small bottles,—no large lumber,