Chap. I.
Chap. II.
Chap. III.
Chap. IV.
Chap. V.
Chap. VI.
Chap. VII.
Chap. VIII.
Chap. IX.
Chap. X.
Chap. XI.
PART II. Modern History OF THE DEVIL.
Chap. I.
Chap. II.
Chap. III.
Chap. IV.
Chap. V.
Chap. VI.
Chap. VII.
Chap. VIII.
Chap. IX.
Chap. X.
Chap. XI.
CONCLUSION.
Chap. I.
Being
an Introduction to the whole Work.I
doubt not but the title of this book will amuse some of my reading
friends a little at first; they will make a pause, perhaps, as they
do at a witch’s prayer, and be some time resolving whether they had
best look into it or no, lest they should really raise the
Devil
by reading his story.Children
and old women have told themselves so many frightful things
of the Devil,
and have form’d ideas of him in their minds, in so many horrible
and monstrous shapes, that really it were enough to fright the
Devil
himself, to meet himself in the dark, dress’d up in the several
figures which imagination has form’d for him in the minds of men;
and as for themselves, I cannot think by any means that the
Devil
would terrify them half so much, if they were to converse face to
face with him.It
must certainly therefore be a most useful undertaking to give the
true history of this
Tyrant of the air,
this
God of the world,
this terror and aversion of mankind, which we call
Devil;
to shew what he is, and what he is not, where he is, and where he is
not, when he is in us, and when he is not; for I cannot doubt but
that the
Devil
is really and
bona fide
in a great many of our honest weak-headed friends, when they
themselves know nothing of the matter.Nor
is the work so difficult as some may imagine. The
Devil’s
history
is not so hard to come at, as it seems to be; His original and the
first rise of his family is upon record, and as for his conduct, he
has acted indeed in the dark, as to method in many things; but
in general,
as cunning as he is, he has been fool enough to expose himself in
some of the most considerable transactions of his Life, and has not
shewn himself a politician at all: Our old friend
Matchiavel
outdid him in many things, and I may in the process of this work give
an account of several of the sons of
Adam,
and some societies of ’em too, who have out-witted
the Devil,
nay, who have out-sin’d
the Devil,
and that I think may be call’d out-shooting him in his own bow.It
may perhaps be expected of me in this history, that since I seem
inclin’d to speak favourably of
Satan,
to do him justice, and to write his story impartially, I should take
some pains to tell you what religion he is of; and even this part may
not be so much a jest, as at first sight you may take it to be; for
Satan
has something of religion in him, I assure you; nor is he such an
unprofitable
Devil
that way, as some may suppose him to be; for tho’, in reverence to
my brethren, I will not reckon him among the Clergy; No not so much
as a gifted Brother, yet I cannot deny, but that he often preaches,
and if it be not profitably to his hearers; ’tis as much their
fault, as it is out of his design.It
has indeed been suggested that he has taken orders, and that a
certain Pope, famous for being an extraordinary favourite of his,
gave him both institution and induction; but as this is not upon
record, and therefore we have no authentic document for the
probation, I shall not affirm it for a truth, for I would not slander
the
Devil.It
is said also, and I am apt to believe it, that he was very familiar
with that holy father Pope
Silvester
II. and some charge him with personating Pope
Hildebrand
on an extraordinary occasion, and himself sitting in the chair
apostolick, in a full congregation; and you may hear more of this
hereafter: But as I do not meet with Pope
Diabolus
among the list; in all father
Platina’s
lives of the Popes, so I am willing to leave it as I find it.But
to speak to the point, and a nice point it is I acknowledge;
namely,
what religion
the Devil
is of; my answer will indeed be general, yet not at all ambiguous,
for I love to speak positively and with undoubted evidence.1.
He is a believer.
And if in saying so it should follow, that even the
Devil
has more religion than some of our men of fame can at this time be
charged with, I hope my Lord —— and his Grace the —— of ——
and some of the upper class in the red-hot club, will not wear the
coat, however well it may sit to their shapes, or challenge the
Satyr, as if it were pointed at them, because ’tis due to them: In
a word, whatever their Lordships are, I can assure them that the
Devil
is no Infidel.2.
He fears God.
We have such abundant evidence of this in sacred History, that if I
were not at present, in common with a few others, talking to an
infidel sort of Gentlemen, with whom those remote things call’d
Scriptures are not allow’d in evidence, I might say it was
sufficiently prov’d; but I doubt not in the process of this
undertaking to shew, that
the Devil
really
fears God,
and that after another manner than ever he fear’d Saint
Frances
or Saint
Dunstan;
and if that be proved, as I take upon me to advance, I shall leave it
to judgment, who’s the better Christian,
the Devil
who
believes
and
trembles,
or our modern gentry of —— who believe neither
God nor Devil.Having
thus brought the
Devil
within the
Pale,
I shall leave him among you for the present; not but that I may
examine in its order who has the best claim to his brotherhood, the
Papists or the Protestants; and among the latter the Lutherans or the
Calvinists; and so descending to all the several denominations of
churches, see who has less of
the Devil
in them, and who more; and whether
less
or
more
the Devil has not a seat in every synagogue, a pew in every church, a
place in every pulpit, and a vote in every synod; even from the
Sanhedrim of the
Jews,
to our friends at the
Bull and Mouth,
&c. from the greatest to the least.It
will, I confess, come very much within the compass of this part of my
discourse, to give an account,
or at least make an essay toward it,
of the share
the Devil
has had in the spreading religion in the world; and especially of
dividing and subdividing opinions in religion; perhaps, to eke it out
and make it reach the farther; and also to shew how far he is or has
made himself a missionary of the famous clan
de propaganda fide;
it is true, we find him heartily employ’d in almost every corner of
the world
ad propagandum errorem:
But that may require a history by it self.As
to his propagating religion, ’tis a little hard indeed, at first
sight, to charge
the Devil
with propagating religion, that is to say, if we take it literally,
and in the gross; but if you take it as the
Scots
insisted to take the oath of fidelity,
viz.
with an
explanation,
it is plain
Satan
has very often had a share in the method, if not in the design of
propagating the
christian faith:
For example.I
think I do no injury at all to the Devil, to say that he had a great
hand in the old
holy war,
as it was ignorantly and enthusiastically call’d; stirring up the
christian princes and powers of
Europe
to run a madding after the
Turks
and
Saracens,
and make war with those innocent people above a thousand miles off,
only because they entred into God’s heritage when he had forsaken
it; graz’d upon his ground when he had fairly turn’d it into a
common, and laid it open for the next comer; spending their nation’s
treasure, and embarking their kings and people, (I say) in a war
above a thousand miles off, filling their heads with that religious
madness, call’d, in those days,
holy zeal
to recover the
terra sancta,
the sepulchers of Christ and the Saints, and as they call’d it
falsly, the
holy city,
tho’ true religion says it was the accursed city, and not worth
spending one drop of blood for.This
religious
Bubble
was certainly of
Satan,
who, as he craftily drew them in, so like a true
Devil
he left them in the lurch when they came there, fac’d about to the
Saracens,
animated the immortal
Saladin
against them, and manag’d so dexterously that he left the bones of
about thirteen or fourteen hundred thousand Christians there as a
trophy of his infernal politicks; and after the christian world had
run
a la santa terra,
or in
English
a
saunt’ring,
about a hundred year, he dropt it to play another game less foolish,
but ten times wickeder than that which went before it,
namely,
turning the crusadoes of the Christians one against another; and, as
Hudibras
said in another case,
“Made
them fight like mad or drunk“For dame religion as for punk.Of
this you have a compleat account in the history of the Popes decrees
against the Count
de Thoulouse,
and the
Waldenses
and
Albigenses,
with the crusadoes and massacres which follow’d upon them, wherein
to do
the Devil’s
politicks some justice, he met with all the success he could desire;
the zealots of that day executed his infernal orders most punctually,
and planted religion in those countries in a glorious and triumphant
manner, upon the destruction of an infinite number of innocent
people, whose blood has fatten’d the soil for the growth of the
Catholick faith, in a manner very particular, and to Satan’s full
satisfaction.I
might, to compleat this part of his history, give you the detail of
his progress in these first steps of his alliances with
Rome;
and add a long list of massacres, wars, and expeditions in behalf of
religion, which he has had the honour to have a visible hand in; such
as the
Parisian
massacre, the
Flemish
war under the Duke
d’ Alva,
the
Smithfield
fires in the
Marian days
in
England,
and the massacres in
Ireland;
all which would most effectually convince us that
the Devil
has not been idle in his business; but I may meet with these again in
my way, ’tis enough, while I am upon the generals only, to mention
them thus in a summary way; I say, ’tis enough to prove that
the Devil
has really been as much concerned as any body, in the methods taken
by some people for propagating the christian religion in the world.Some
have rashly, and I had almost said maliciously charg’d
the Devil
with the great triumphs of his friends the
Spaniards
in
America,
and would place the conquest of
Mexico
and
Peru
to the credit of his account.But
I cannot join with them in this at all, I must say, I believe
the Devil
was innocent of that matter; my reason is, because,
Satan
was never such a fool as to spend his time, or his politicks, or
embark his allies to conquer nations who were already his own; that
would be
Satan
against
Beelzebub,
making war upon himself, and at least doing nothing to the purpose.If
they should charge him, indeed, with deluding
Philip
II. of
Spain
into that preposterous attempt call’d
the Armada,
(anglice,
the
Spanish Invasion,)
I should indeed more readily join with them; but whether he did it
weakly, in hope,
which was indeed not likely,
that it should succeed; or wickedly, to destroy that great fleet of
the
Spaniards,
and draw them within the reach of his own dominions, the elements;
this being a question which authors differ exceedingly about, I shall
leave it to decide it self.But
the greatest piece of management, which we find
the Devil
has concern’d himself in of late, in the matter of religion, seems
to be that of the mission into
China;
and here indeed
Satan
has acted his master-piece: It was, no doubt, much for his service
that
the Chineses
should have no insight into matters of religion, I mean, that we call
christian; and therefore, tho’
Popery
and the
Devil
are not at so much variance as some may imagine, yet he did not think
it safe to let the general system of Christianity be heard of among
them in
China.
Hence when the name of the christian religion had but been received
with some seeming approbation in the country of
Japan,
Satan
immediately, as if alarm’d at the thing, and dreading what the
consequence of it might be, arm’d the
Japoneses
against it with such fury, that they expell’d it at once.It
was much safer to his designs, when, if the story be not a fiction,
he put that
Dutch
witicism into the mouths of the States commanders, when they came to
Japan;
who having more wit than to own themselves Christians in such a place
as that, when the question was put to them, answered negatively,
That they were not,
but that
they were of another religion call’d
Hollanders.However,
it seems the diligent
Jesuits
out-witted the Devil in
China,
and, as I said above, over-shot him in his own Bow; for the mission
being in danger
by the Devil and the
Chinese
Emperor’s
joining together,
of being wholly expell’d there too, as they had been in
Japan,
they cunningly fell in with the ecclesiasticks of the country, and
joining the priestcraft of both religions together, they brought
Jesus Christ
and
Confucius
to be so reconcilable, that the
Chinese
and the
Roman
idolatry appeared capable of a confederacy, of going on hand in hand
together, and consequently of being very good friends.This
was a master-piece indeed, and,
as they say,
almost frighted
Satan
out of his wits; but he being a ready manager, and particularly
famous for serving himself of the rogueries of the priests, fac’d
about immediately to the mission, and making a virtue of necessity,
clapt in, with all possible alacrity, with the proposal[1];
so the
Jesuits
and he form’d a
hotch-potch
of
religion
made up of
Popery
and
Paganism
and calculated to leave the latter rather worse than they found it,
binding the faith of Christ and the philosophy or morals of
Confucius
together, and formally christening them by the name of
religion;
by which means the politick interest of the mission was preserved;
and yet
Satan
lost not one inch of ground with the
Chineses,
no, not by the planting the Gospel it self,
such as it was,
among them.Nor
has it been such disadvantage to him that this plan or scheme of a
new modell’d religion would not go down at
Rome,
and that the Inquisition damn’d it with Bell, Book and Candle;
distance of place serv’d his new allies, the missionaries, in the
stead of a protection from the Inquisition; and now and then a rich
present well plac’d found them friends in the congregation it self;
and where any Nuncio with his impudent zeal pretended to take such a
long voyage to oppose them,
Satan
took care to get him sent back
re infecta,
or inspir’d the million to move him off the premisses, by methods
of their own (that is to say, being interpreted) to
murther him.Thus
the mission has in itself been truly
devilish,
and the Devil has interested himself in the planting the christian
religion in
China.The
influence
the Devil
has in the Politicks of mankind, is another especial part of his
history, and would require, if it were possible, a very exact
description; but here we shall necessarily be obliged to inquire so
nicely into the Arcana of circumstances, and unlock the cabinets of
state in so many courts, canvass the councils of ministers and the
conduct of princes so fully, and expose them so much, that it may,
perhaps, make a combustion among the great politicians abroad; and in
doing that we may come so near home too, that tho’ personal safety
and prudentials forbid our medling with our own country, we may be
taken in a double entendre, and fall unpitied for being only
suspected of touching truths that are so tender, whether we are
guilty or no; on these accounts I must meddle the less with that
part, at least for the present.Be
it that the Devil has had a share in some of the late councils of
Europe,
influencing them this way or that way, to his own advantage, what is
it to us? For example, What if he has had any concern in the late
affair of
Thorn?
What need we put it upon him, seeing his confederates the
Jesuites
with the
Assessorial
tribunal of
Poland
take it upon themselves? I shall leave that part to the issue of
time. I wish it were as easy to persuade the world that he had no
hand in bringing the injur’d Protestants to leave the justice due
to the cries of protestant blood to the arbitrament of a popish
power, who dare say that
the Devil
must be in it, if justice should be obtain’d that way: I should
rather say,
the Devil
is in it, or else it would never be expected.It
occurs next to enquire from the premisses, whether
the Devil
has more influence or less in the affairs of the world now, than he
had in former ages; and this will depend upon comparing, as we go
along, his methods and way of working in past times, and the modern
politicks by which he acts in our days; with the differing reception
which he has met with among the men of such distant ages.But
there is so much to enquire of about
the Devil,
before we can bring his story down to our modern times, that we must
for the present let them drop, and look a little back to the remoter
parts of this history; drawing his picture that people may know him
when they meet him, and see who and what he is, and what he has been
doing ever since he got leave to act in the high station he now
appears in.In
the mean time, if I might obtain leave to present an humble petition
to
Satan,
it should be, that he would according to modern usage oblige us all,
with writing
the history of his own times;
’twould, as well as one that is gone before it, be a Devilish good
one; for as to the sincerity of the performance, the authority of the
particulars, the justice of the characters,
&c.
if they were no better vouch’d, no more consistent with themselves,
with charity, with truth, and with the honour of an historian, than
the last of that kind which came abroad among us, it must be a
reproach to
the Devil
himself to be the author of it.Were
Satan
to be brought under the least obligation to write truth, and that the
matters of fact, which he should write, might be depended upon, he is
certainly qualified by his knowledge of things to be a compleat
historian; nor could the Bishop himself,
who, by the way, has given us already the Devil of a history,
come up to him:
Milton’s
Pandemonium,
tho’ an excellent dramatick performance, would appear a meer
trifling sing-song business, beneath the dignity of
Chevy-chase:
The
Devil
could give us a true account of all the civil wars in Heaven; how and
by whom, and in what manner he lost the day there, and was oblig’d
to quit the field: The fiction of his refusing to acknowledge and
submit to the
Messiah,
upon his being declar’d Generalissimo of the Heavenly forces, which
Satan expected himself, as the eldest officer; and his not being able
to brook another to be put in over his head; I say, that fine-spun
thought of Mr.
Milton
would appear to be strain’d too far, and only serve to convince us
that he (Milton)
knew nothing of the matter.
Satan
knows very well, that the
Messiah
was not
declared to be the Son of God with power
till by and after
the resurrection from the dead,
and that all power was then given him
in Heaven and earth,
and not before; so that
Satan’s
rebellion must derive from other causes, and upon other occasions, as
he himself can doubtless give us an account, if he thinks fit, and of
which we shall speak further in this work.What
a fine History might this old Gentleman write of the Antediluvian
world, and of all the weighty affairs, as well of state as of
religion, which happen’d during the fifteen hundred years of the
patriarchal administration!Who,
like him, could give a full and compleat account of the Deluge,
whether it was a meer vindictive, a blast from Heaven, wrought by a
supernatural power in the way of miracle? or whether, according to
Mr.
Burnet’s
Theory,
it was a consequence following antecedent causes by the meer
necessity of nature; seen in constitution, natural position, and
unavoidable working of things, as by the Theory publish’d by that
learn’d enthusiast it seems to be?Satan
could easily account for all the difficulties of the
Theory,
and tell us whether, as there was a natural necessity of the Deluge,
there is not the like necessity and natural tendency to a
Conflagration at last.Would
the Devil
exert himself as an Historian, for our improvement and diversion, how
glorious an account could he give us of
Noah’s
Voyage round the world, in the famous Ark! he could resolve all the
difficulties about the building it, the furnishing it, and the laying
up provision in it for all the collection of kinds that he had made;
He could tell us whether all the creatures came voluntier to him to
go into the ark, or whether he went a hunting for several years
before, in order to bring them together.He
could give us a true relation how he wheedled the people of the next
world into the absurd ridiculous undertaking of building a
Babel;
how far that stupendous stair-case, which was in imagination to reach
up to Heaven, was carried, before it was interrupted and the builders
confounded; how their speech was alter’d, how many Tongues it was
divided into, or whether they were divided at all; and how many
subdivisions or dialects have been made since that, by which means
very few of God’s creatures, except the Brutes, understand one
another, or care one farthing whether they do or no.In
all these things
Satan,
who, no doubt, would make a very good chronologist, could settle
every Epocha, correct every Calendar, and bring all our accounts of
time to a general agreement; as well the
Grecian Olympiads,
the
Turkish Heghira,
the
Chinese
fictitious account of the world’s duration, as our blind
Julian
and
Gregorian
accounts, which have put the world, to this day, into such confusion,
that we neither agree in our holy-days or working days, fasts or
feasts, nor keep the same sabbaths in any part of the same globe.This
great Antiquary could bring us to a certainty in all the difficulties
of ancient story, and tell us whether the tale of the siege of
Troy,
and the rape of
Helen
was a fable of
Homer
or a history; whether the fictions of the Poets are form’d from
their own brain, or founded in facts; and whether letters were
invented by
Cadmus
the
Phœnician,
or dictated immediately from
Heaven
at mount
Sinai.Nay,
he could tell us how and in what manner he wheedled
Eve,
deluded
Adam,
put
Cain
into a passion, till he made him murther his own brother; and made
Noah,
who was above 500 years a preacher of righteousness, turn Sot in his
old age, dishonour all his ministry, debauch himself with wine, and
by getting drunk and exposing himself, become the jest and
laughing-stock of his children, and of all his posterity to this day.And
would Satan, according to the modern practice of the late right
reverend Historian, enter into the characters of the great men of his
age, how should we be diverted with the just history of
Adam,
in paradise and out of it; his character, and how he behaved at and
after his expulsion; how
Cain
wandered in the land of
Nod,
what the mark was which
God
set upon him, whose daughter his wife was, and how big the city was
he built there, according to a certain Poet of noble extraction,How
Cain
in the land of
NodWhen
the rascal was aloneLike an owl in an ivy todBuilt a city as
big as
Roan.Roch.He
could have certainly drawn
Eve’s
picture, told us every feature in her face, and every inch in her
shape, whether she was a perfect beauty or no, and whether with the
fall she did grow crooked, ugly, ill-natur’d and a scold; as the
learned
Valdemar
suggests to be the effects of the curse.Descending
to the character of the Patriarchs in that age, he might, no doubt,
give us in particular the characters of
Belus,
worship’d under the name of
Baal;
with
Satan,
and
Jupiter,
his successors; who they were here, and how they behaved; with all
the
Pharaohs
of
Egypt,
the
Abimilechs
of
Canaan,
and the great monarchs of
Assyria
and
Babylon.Hence
also he is able to write the lives of all the Heroes of the world,
from
Alexander
of
Macedon
to
Lewis
the XIV. and from
Augustus
to the great King
George;
nor could the Bishop himself go beyond him for flattery, any more
than the Devil himself could go beyond the Bishop for falshood.I
could enlarge with a particular satisfaction upon the many fine
things which
Satan,
rummaging his inexhaustible storehouse of slander, could set down to
blacken the characters of good men, and load the best Princes of the
world with infamy and reproach.But
we shall never prevail with him, I doubt, to do mankind so much
service, as resolving all those difficulties would be; for he has an
indelible grudge against us; as he believes, and perhaps is assur’d
that men were at first created by his sovereign, to the intent that
after a certain state of Probation in life, such of them as shall be
approved, are appointed to fill up those vacancies in the Heavenly
Host, which were made by the abdication and expulsion of him (the
Devil)
and his Angels; so that man is appointed to come in
Satan’s
stead, to make good the breach, and enjoy all those ineffable Joys
and Beatitudes which
Satan
enjoy’d before his fall; no wonder then, that
the Devil
swells with envy and rage at mankind in general, and at the best of
them in particular; nay, the granting this point is giving an
unanswerable reason, why the
Devil
practises with such unwearied and indefatigable application upon the
best men, if possible, to disappoint God Almighty’s decree, and
that he should not find enough among the whole Race, to be proper
subjects of his clemency, and qualified to succeed
the Devil
and his host, or fill up the places vacant by the Fall. It is true
indeed,
the Devil,
who we have reason to say is no fool, ought to know better than to
suppose that if he should seduce the whole race of mankind, and make
them as bad as himself, he could, by that success of his wickedness,
thwart or disappoint the determined purposes of Heaven; but that
those which are appointed to inherit the Thrones, which he and his
followers abdicated, and were deposed from, shall certainly be
preserv’d in spite of his Devices for that inheritance, and shall
have the possession secur’d to them, notwithstanding all that
the Devil
and all the Host of
Hell
can do to prevent it.But,
however he knows the certainty of this, and that when he endeavours
the seducing the chosen servants of the most High, he fights against
God himself, struggles with irresistible grace, and makes war with
infinite power; undermining the church of God, and that faith in him
which is fortified with the eternal promises of Jesus Christ, that
the gates of
Hell,
that is to say, the
Devil
and all his power, shall not prevail against them; I say, however he
knows the impossibility there is that he should obtain his ends, yet
so blind is his rage, so infatuate his wisdom, that he cannot refrain
breaking himself to pieces against this mountain, and splitting
against the rock.
qui Jupiter vult perdere hos dementat.But
to leave this serious part, which is a little too solemn, for the
account of this rebel; seeing we are not to expect he will write his
own History for our information and diversion, I shall see if I
cannot write it for him: In order to this, I shall extract the
substance of his whole story, from the beginning to our own times,
which I shall collect out of what is come to hand, whether by
revelation or inspiration, that’s nothing to him; I shall take care
so to improve my intelligence, as may make my account of him
authentick, and,
in a word,
such as the Devil himself shall not be able to contradict.In
writing this uncouth story I shall be freed from the censures of the
Criticks, in a more than ordinary manner, upon one account
especially; (viz.)
that my story shall be so just and so well grounded, and, after all
the good things I shall say of
Satan,
will be so little to his satisfaction, that
the Devil
himself will not be able to say, I
dealt with the Devil
in writing it: I might, perhaps, give you some account where I had my
intelligence, and how all the Arcana of his management have come to
my hands;
but pardon me, Gentlemen,
this would be to betray conversation, and to discover my agents, and
you know statesmen are very careful to preserve the correspondences
they keep in the enemy’s country, lest they expose their friends to
the resentment of the Power whose councils they betray.Besides,
the learned tell us, that ministers of state make an excellent plea
of their not betraying their intelligence, against all party
inquiries into the great sums of money pretended to be paid for
secret service;
and whether the secret service was to bribe people to betray things
abroad or at home; whether the money was paid to some body or to no
body, employ’d to establish correspondences abroad, or to establish
families and amass treasure at home; in a word, whether it was to
serve their country or serve themselves, it has been the same thing,
and the same plea has been their protection: Likewise in the
important affair which I am upon, ’tis hoped you will not desire me
to betray my Correspondents; for you know
Satan
is naturally cruel and malicious, and who knows what he might do to
shew his resentment? at least it might endanger a stop of our
intelligence for the future.And
yet, before I have done, I shall make it very plain, that however my
information may be secret and difficult, that yet I came very
honestly by it, and shall make a very good use of it; for ’tis a
great mistake in those who think that an acquaintance with the
affairs of
the Devil
may not be made very useful to us all: They that know no evil can
know no good; and, as the learned tell us, that a stone taken out of
the head of a Toad is a good antidote against poison; so a competent
knowledge of
the Devil,
and all his ways, may be the best help to make us defie
the Devil
and all his
works.