More Stuff Irish People Love E-Book

Colin Murphy

• Herausgeber: The O'Brien Press
• Kategorie: Lebensstil
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2017

Beschreibung

Do you love the taste of Red Lemonade, change into your swimming togs under a towel on the beach or find yourself admiring 'the grand stretch in the evenings'? Then this book, jammed with hilarious reflections on what it is to be Irish, will have you nodding in agreement with every turn of the page. Contains approximately 100 things that Irish people like, such as; - Waving hello to complete strangers on country roads. - Using the 'cupla focal' to stress our Irishness when on holidays. - Going for a few pints after mass. - Claiming a relative who fought in the Easter Rising. - Explaining hurling to foreigners. - Nicknaming statues, for example 'The Floozie in the Jacuzzi'.

Leseprobe

Colin Murphy & Donal O’Dea

Contents

Title Page    1 Packing the ‘makings of a fry’ to take on holiday.   2 Using tool metaphors.   3 Singing ‘Olé Olé Olé’ to support Irish teams in any sport.   4 Moving Statues.   5 Saying ‘Jaysus!’.   6 Not protesting about anything.   7 Putting the ‘messages’ in the ‘press’.   8 Ignoring pedestrian crossing signals.   9 The Little Black Babies. 10 Singing our party piece at a hooley. 11 Your mother reproaching you for not knowing the names of your distant cousins’ wives and kids. 12 Deliberately not pronouncing our ‘th’s. 13 Brides & grooms going to bed at 6am. 14 Never letting the truth get in the way of a good story. 15 Driving indefinitely on a learner’s permit. 16 Eating all sorts of strange yokes. 17 Our 700 years of oppression. 18 Saying ‘What’s the story?’ 19 Uilleann pipes soundtracks. 20 Long pub goodbyes. 21 Jim Figgerty. 22 Anythin’ stirrin? 23 A nice bit of buttered turnover. 24 The Eurovision Song Contest. 25 Spittin’ 26 Saying ‘Know what I mean like?’ 27 Eating potatoes with every meal. 28 Moaning about ‘Peig’. 29 Deliberately sprinkling our conversation with Irish slang when talking to foreigners. 30 Fig rolls in custard (see also Jim Figgerty). 31 Ray ‘Who put the ball in the English net?’ Houghton. 32 References to Ireland in movies or on television. 33 Having loads of literary geniuses. 34 A nice bit of buttered Barmbrack. 35 Saying ‘Naaa’ instead of ‘no’. 36 Pretending we’re still Catholics. 37 Deliberately pronouncing phrases with a thick country accent. 38 Moaning about stuff to Joe Duffy. 39 Jam sambos. 40 Saying ‘Stop the lights’. 41 Wearing giant leprechaun hats at Irish sports events. 42 Michael Collins outwitting the English (not to mention shooting them). 43 Brown envelopes. 44 Saying ‘Shite’ as opposed to ‘shit’. 45 Sending out bits of wedding cake to people who hadn’t made the wedding. 46 Putting a few bob on the horses. 47 Blaming a ‘bad pint’. 48 Italian chippers. 49 The Fields of Athenry. 50 The state of yerwan. 51 Being self-deprecating. 52 Being European. 53 A nation holds its breath. 54 Saying ‘God forgive ye’. 55 Loving bankers and then hating bankers. 56 Cricket (briefly). 57 Sally O’Brien. 58 Our very clever megalithic ancestors. 59 Wanderly Wagon. 60 Deliberately wearing your county colours into your greatest rival’s county. 61 Your Ma curing your flu with hot red lemonade. 62 Pretending you know someone who was in the IRA. 63 Tribunals. 64 Irish Rashers. 65 Beginning a sentence with ‘yeah no’. 66 Giving surnames to our pets. 67 Being bleakly pessimistic. 68 Telling others that they could have gotten something much cheaper. 69 Bungalows. 70 Going for a few pints after Mass. 70 Yokes. 72 99 ice cream cones. 73 That St Brendan really discovered America. 74 Using the phrase ‘Ah would you go ’way outta dat!’ to express modesty. 75 Father Ted. 76 The phrase ‘Ah sure look it’ providing the solution to all bad news. 77 The fact that we’re everywhere on the planet. 78 Going to Mass just to check out the talent. 79 An bhfuil cead agam dul amach…? 80 Giving out about the weather. 81 Giving out about Ireland and then defending it like a lunatic when a foreigner insults us. 82 Are ye dancin’?  About the Authors Copyright

Packing the ‘makings of a fry’ to take on holiday.

As Irish people we enjoy mocking the prevalence of restaurants and bars in sunny holiday resorts that loudly advertise ‘English Fish ’n Chips here!’ written on a large British Union flag.

‘I mean, for Jaysus’ sake, what are the English like?’ we tut-tut, and shake our heads despondently at our neighbours’ lack of sophistication. Here they are, in Spain or Italy, home to an infinite variety of wonderful tapas or pasta dishes and wines to die for, and what do they do but sit around all day stuffing their faces with greasy, battered smoked cod and chips and quaffing pints of Carling Red Label? Having expressed our disgust and amusement at the sight, many of us Irish then promptly head back to our holiday apartments, dig out the Galtee rashers, Superquinn sausages and Clonakilty pudding (black and white) that we packed away with our knickers and jocks, and proceed to make a giant, greasy fry-up that we’ll demolish on the balcony, accompanied by mugs of Barry’s or Lyons tea, a box or two of which we also crammed in beside our sun tan lotion and bikinis. A few packs of Jacobs Mikado or Kimberley biscuits are also likely to have made the trip, and these will do nicely as dessert. We rationalise this behaviour by saying stuff like, ‘Sure those Spanish sausages are bleedin’ brutal,’ or ‘Where am I goin’ te get black puddin’ in feckin’ Lanzarohee?’ And who can argue with that?

But, unlike our English friends, we prefer to keep our little home food fetishes to ourselves, just so we can parade around foreign climes pretending we’re well-travelled food sophisticates, and feeling superior. Later, of course, us and our other half will very likely proceed to the local hostelry where we will get completely rat-arsed. And sneaking into the ‘Genuine English Takeaway’ on the way home for a batterburger and chips is purely for medicinal reasons: ‘Hey, Fiona, we’d better get some soakage or we’ll be bleedin’ despera with de hangovers tomorrow.’ To which Fiona will reply: ‘Yeah, we can make chip sambos. An’ ye know, I tink I’ve still got some of dat Brennan’s Batch Loaf left dat we packed in with de socks.’