Nothing Heals Me Like You Do E-Book

Harper Bliss

• Herausgeber: WS
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024

Seitenzahl: 369

Beschreibung

When two worlds collide, a love story begins

Justine Blackburn has dedicated her life to the Rainbow Shelter, providing a safe haven for homeless queer youth. When her story is brought to life on the big screen, she finds herself irresistibly drawn to Sienna Bright, the magnetic actor portraying her former lover.

But Justine's old wounds run deep, and Sienna's Hollywood life seems worlds apart from Justine's reality. Can they overcome their fears and take a chance on love, or will past hurts keep them apart?

Get ready to fall head over heels as Justine and Sienna's unputdownable story steals your heart and makes you believe in the power of love to heal even the toughest scars.

Leseprobe

CONTENTS

Special Offer from the Author

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

A Note from Harper

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For my wife, who gave me the idea for this book

CHAPTER1

Justine Blackburn shook her twenty-five-year-old self’s hand. Alexis Dalton’s grip was as light as the blue of her eyes. It wasn’t exactly like staring into a mirror and seeing her much younger self reflected, but it was unsettling. It certainly was unlike anything Justine had experienced before—and she’d gone through a thing or two in her life.

She looked to Rochelle for emotional support during this odd moment, but her friend was going through the exact same thing. Rochelle was more laid-back about these things, however. She was already pulling the actor that would play the younger version of herself into a hug. Sienna Bright was older than Alexis, because Rochelle was eleven years older than Justine. What a fucking trip.

“You look just like I did back in the day,” Rochelle said to Sienna.

Yeah right.In Rochelle’s very distorted dreams maybe. But Justine refrained from rolling her eyes. Despite everything that had brought them here, this was a special moment.

“It’s such an honor to meet you, Miss Blackburn.” Sienna turned her attention to Justine while Alexis did the same with Rochelle. “I mean that from the bottom of my heart.” Sienna Bright’s handshake was much firmer than her co-star’s, and her unflinching stare into Justine’s eyes was just as intense.

“Thank you.” Justine made sure her grip was equally strong as she met Sienna’s bold gaze.

“Casting really did an amazing job,” Rochelle said. “I couldn’t have done better myself.” Rochelle had retired from her Hollywood casting director job only a few years ago. If it weren’t for her, none of this would be happening. They wouldn’t be shaking hands with these bright young things who were about to play them in a movie about what Justine and Rochelle had built together.

Justine had read various iterations of the screenplay and she felt there was too much emphasis on her love affair with Rochelle, which had ended decades ago. But she understood that a love story made a movie more interesting or, as Rochelle had called it, ‘more watchable’. There were many parts of Justine’s life that would be much harder to watch.

However, she had insisted with the director, Mimi St James, on a light tone, despite the heaviness of the subject matter. Agreeing to her relationship—or romance, as Mimi had called it—with Rochelle being included in the script was part of that. It was also true to life. All those years ago, Justine and Rochelle had fallen in love.

Now, Alexis Dalton and Sienna Bright were going to recreate it on the big screen. It was surreal to invite these two young actors into their lives for a little while so they could get to know them for this particular, extraordinary purpose.

Justine’s motives for doing any of this had been crystal clear from the beginning. Rochelle had pitched her the idea in the only language she knew Justine would accept. Agreeing to this movie would bring in a ton of money for the shelter—and the shelter was what Justine lived for. If she had to sell the rights to her life for it—because that’s what they called it in the ‘industry’—then that’s what she would do. She wasn’t getting any younger and the shelter was always short of money. In that respect, it was a no-brainer. What was most baffling, really, was that someone wanted to make a movie about her life at all.

Rochelle ushered them into her living room and offered drinks. She busied herself in the kitchen, leaving Justine alone with Alexis and Sienna. She gestured for them to sit before settling into her favorite chair at Rochelle’s house.

Whereas Alexis seemed to nearly disappear in the couch, Sienna took up all the metaphorical room in it. Justine’s gaze was drawn to the actor playing her ex much more than to the actor who would be playing her. But maybe that made sense. Out of the two of them, Rochelle had always been the biggest attention-grabber. In that respect, the casting was pretty spot on.

“Here we are.” Rochelle approached carrying a tray with four glasses and a pitcher of iced tea.

Sienna immediately offered to help, while Alexis seemed to fade deeper into the cushions.

“Let’s not be coy about this,” Rochelle said when everyone had been served a drink. “This situation is quite the mindfuck.”

Justine could have done without this part of the process. She’d be quite happy to simply sign away her life rights and cash that check, thank you very much. But she recognized that actors playing real-life people wanted some modicum of access. To spend some time with Justine and Rochelle to see how they interacted and, perhaps, study the intricacies of their movements and the inflections in their voices. Now that they were all sitting here, deep down, it was quite thrilling. Although these were not the kind of youngsters Justine was used to dealing with—the privileged and the adored. Quite the opposite.

“It’s so exciting to be here,” Sienna said. Her voice didn’t match her age. It was low and a little gravelly. “You must hear this all the time, but what you two have done and continue to do for the community is so inspiring.”

This was beginning to sound like an awards acceptance speech already. Justine didn’t care for awards, unless they came with a big fat check attached. Otherwise, they were a waste of time and energy. An award couldn’t put a displaced kid up for the night. Justine shook off the thought—her brain perhaps spiraling because she was more nervous than she wanted to be—and focused on what Sienna had actually said.

“When you say community”—Justine fixed her gaze on Sienna’s—“do you see yourself as a part of that?”

“Of course.” Sienna met Justine’s gaze and held it.

Justine had received extensive biographies of both actors, as well as a list of all the productions they’d been in. She knew full well Sienna identified as queer and Alexis didn’t, but she was just testing the waters a little, ruffling some feathers because she couldn’t help herself. Because it was her style.

Perhaps she was even doing Alexis a favor by showing her what kind of person she was—although the version of Justine that Alexis was asked to portray was very different from today’s Justine who was, granted, being a bit difficult just because she could. Too much privilege on display could still get to her like that, but it was also what kept her fire burning, even after all these years.

“I’m not queer,” Alexis said matter-of-factly. “I was told it wouldn’t be an issue.”

“It’s not,” Rochelle said, then shot Justine a look. “We’ve seen your work and it speaks for itself.”

Rochelle often spoke for them both, usually making Justine look better, so she didn’t mind that much. Justine didn’t have a lot of spare time to watch movies—she barely had time for this encounter—and she’d seen no movies that either actor had appeared in.

She smiled at Alexis regardless. “I concur.” Justine sipped from her iced tea and glanced at Alexis over the rim of her glass. The physical resemblance was there, although Alexis looked far glossier than Justine had ever done, especially at twenty-five.

Then, for the first time, Alexis widened her smile to full beam, and looked straight into Justine’s eyes, as if to say, why don’t you just wait and see, and Justine caught a glimpse of that unrelenting fire that always—like a fever that never broke—burned within her.

* * *

Sienna was glad she’d be playing Rochelle rather than Justine—not that she could ever portray a blonde white woman with blue eyes. Where Rochelle was kind, inviting, and easy to talk to, Justine was a much tougher nut to crack. She wasn’t cold per se, but Sienna figured, from the difference in their energies, that Rochelle was far more invested in this movie. Although, from a pure craft perspective, trying to get in the head, and under the skin, of someone like Justine could be a delicious challenge.

She focused on Rochelle instead, on her big hand gestures as she spoke—she clearly loved the sound of her own voice—and the warmth in her face when she smiled. Rochelle was instantly likable, one of those people who filled every room they walked into. But Justine was the heart of the movie—and despite her rather aloof demeanor, Sienna had nothing but respect for what Justine had accomplished. Although, from the script of Gimme Shelter, which Sienna had studied and already knew by heart, she knew Rochelle had been instrumental in getting their homeless shelter for LGBTQI+ kids off the ground. Sienna’s part in the movie might be more of a supporting role—Alexis would be its undisputed star—but it was definitely significant.

“How do you feel about Nora Levine playing the part of your mother?” Sienna asked Justine when Rochelle stopped talking for longer than thirty seconds.

“I’m not sure I have any feelings about that,” Justine replied, her face as expressionless as a blank sheet of paper.

An inadvertent chuckle escaped Sienna’s throat. This woman was just too much.

“Sorry.” Justine’s shoulders loosened, and she sat up straighter. “I didn’t mean to be flippant. This whole thing is just so weird. I mean, a movie about my life? Well, a very particular time in my life.” She paused and, probably because it was the first time that afternoon that she’d spoken more than a few sentences at once, everyone let her. “I have nothing but respect for Nora Levine and her support of the LGBT Center. And I guess that any project that has her name attached to it will get extra buzz. If extra buzz equals extra cash, that’s a double win in my book.”

Rochelle cleared her throat. “What Justine is actually trying to say⁠—”

Justine cut her off. “You don’t have to speak for me, Roche. Besides, these girls are here to see what we’re like. It would be awful to pretend being someone I’m not. That wouldn’t serve them at all.”

“I’m thirty-six,” Sienna said, “I’m hardly still a girl.”

“You ladies,” Justine corrected herself, “need to know that unlike my good friend here, I’m not a Hollywood person. A fake smile and a bunch of hyped-up words mean nothing to me. To be completely honest, I never even go to the movies. I’ll give you access to me and my life for a limited number of days, because of course I want this movie to work, but I’m me. I say it as it is. I don’t sugarcoat things and I don’t waste time with half-truths if I can help it.”

“Would you mind if I made some notes?” Alexis asked. “This is pure gold for my performance.”

When Alexis Dalton was first cast in the role of Justine Blackburn, Sienna had had her doubts, but she was beginning to see it was about more than pure physical likeness.

Alexis’s question made Justine laugh out loud. “You know what?” she said. “I think I like you.”

Alexis pulled her phone from her purse and furiously started to type.

“As you can imagine,” Alexis said, while typing, “now that the ice is broken, I have a lot more questions.”

“I’m sure you do.” A small smile appeared on Justine’s lips.

Sienna took it all in. Alexis was right. This access to the real people they were going to play was a gold mine for them as actors—although it added to the pressure to get it right. Sienna had only played fictional characters so far in her career and her father, who knew a thing or two about acting, had advised her against auditioning for the part because of his firsthand experience playing a real person and the havoc it could wreak on your career. Her father also had three Oscars on his vanity shelf.

Sienna sought acting advice only from her dad, because based on her firsthand experience, this was his only area of expertise. Yet she hadn’t listened to him when it came to this movie. The Charlie Cross script had been too enticing and the prospect of telling an important story about actual lesbians too good to pass up. Being part of this movie meant something to Sienna on an elemental level that her father probably couldn’t fathom.

“I’m here for all your questions too.” Rochelle shot her one of her warm smiles.

“Do you remember when you first met Justine?” Sienna asked.

“How could I ever forget?” Rochelle’s smile widened. “Although it was hardly love at first sight.”

CHAPTER2

Justine had told her story so many times, it didn’t hurt her anymore. The pain had been plastered over with the good things she had built on its foundations. Pain, and anger most of all, was a powerful motivator. But sitting across from Alexis, across from the person who would portray her when she’d been in such a vulnerable, precarious stage of her life, was a little startling.

When Justine had met with Charlie Cross, the Gimme Shelter scriptwriter, she’d been matter-of-fact, listing the events of her youth as though dictating a shopping list.

When I was sixteen, in a fit of teenage rage, I told my parents I was a lesbian.

Just like that, they kicked me out of their house, because appearances were infinitely more important than how their only child felt.

I stayed at a friend’s house for a while. Then another friend’s, then another’s. Until I ran out of friends.

Until I had nowhere else to go but the streets.

I made my way to Los Angeles.

I was homeless and hungry for too long.

The homeless shelters I turned to were not safe places for anyone, but certainly not for a lesbian teenager or for the fellow homeless queers I encountered.

I was young, furious, and helpless for a while, until I decided to change shit up.

Then I did.

In the end, I was one of the lucky ones.

“Look at me now,” Justine had said to Charlie. “I couldn’t care less about awards, but you have a couple on your mantel, and now you’re writing my story. How about that? How lucky am I?”

“I’m mainly here for the bit where you changed shit up,” Charlie had said. If that had not been the case, Justine would never have agreed to have this movie made. She wasn’t interested in a sob story about how her parents kicked her out. Rochelle knew that and she’d made sure Charlie knew it too.

Alexis fixed her light-blue eyes on Justine. “Can I ask about your parents?”

“Sure.” Justine shrugged. They were but a distant memory to her. Two people who might as well be dead. If they were, she didn’t know and it made no difference to her in any significant way.

“There hasn’t been a reunion?”

Justine shook her head.

“I’m really sorry that happened to you,” Alexis said. “I just want you to know.”

Justine waved off the remark. So many years had passed. Justine had lived so much life and helped so many kids along the way.

“The way I see it now, what happened to me did so because I was meant to do this.” She gave a small smile. “Not this movie, obviously, but founding the Rainbow Shelter. I would never have done that if my parents hadn’t put me out with the trash. I would never have found this strength inside me to turn my misery into something good and necessary. My parents aren’t the only ones whose so-called love is entirely conditional on the fact that their child was exactly who they wanted them to be. I shouldn’t be baffled by it anymore, but every time a kid tells me their story, it still surprises me that the people who are meant to love you the most can be so utterly cruel and selfish.”

Alexis nodded and made a few more notes in her phone.

“What are your parents like?” Justine asked, not to be glib, but because she was genuinely interested.

“My parents?” Alexis seemed taken aback by the question. “They’re, um, very nice and, like, completely regular.”

“Are they?” Justine studied Alexis’s face.

Eyebrows knotted together, she just nodded. “Is it important to you that I tell you about them?”

Clearly Alexis hadn’t come here to talk about herself, a fact Justine respected.

“Yes. I’d like to hear more,” she admitted. With all the horror stories she’d heard about abysmal parenting, sometimes she needed her faith restored that most mothers and fathers were responsible and willing to do their best for their children.

“Sure.” A soft smile melted Alexis’s face. “Mom’s a dentist, and dad’s an engineer. They live in New Hampshire. I’m their only child and we speak every day. They’re very supportive of my career, even though it’s so far removed from the professions they chose. They’ve always been supportive of everything I’ve done.”

“Good.” Justine replied with a smile of her own. “That’s good.” Alexis was twenty-five years old and a completely different generation to Justine. Her lovely-and-ordinary parents were probably the same age as Justine. “It’s obvious they raised a confident daughter.” Although Alexis was straight and Justine knew from decades of experience with queer kids that even parents who seemed very nice-and-ordinary could turn on their child when they came out. Apparently, there was a long and varied list of reasons to start hating your own flesh and blood simply because of who they loved.

Justine made a mental note to inquire about Sienna’s parents’ reaction to her coming out, although they were Hollywood types and Justine knew from Rochelle that, behind the scenes, half of Tinsel Town was run by queers. That was another reason to agree to this movie. Representation and the chance to tell a queer story on a large scale.

Justine’s phone rang. She didn’t have to check the screen to know it was the shelter, because it always was.

“I’m going to have to take this,” she said to Alexis.

“Of course.” She focused back on her phone, perhaps to jot down more details about Justine. She wouldn’t mind getting her hands on those notes later, just to know what a privileged young thing like Alexis made of the likes of her. Then she shrugged off the notion. If Justine cared one iota about what anyone else thought of her, she wouldn’t be able to do this job—her fundraising skills were not based on flattery and smarminess, but on facts and utter necessity.

“Someone’s come in asking for you specifically, Justine,” Darrel, Justine’s right-hand person at the shelter said. “I can set up a video call, if you want.”

“No need.” Justine looked at Alexis. “I’ll be there in ten minutes and I won’t be alone.”

* * *

Half an hour ago, Justine had rushed onto the porch where Sienna was having a private and illuminating conversation with Rochelle, stating matter-of-factly that the four of them were going to the Rainbow Shelter for a research field trip. Rochelle didn’t seem to mind and five minutes later, Sienna and Alexis were sitting in the back of a tatty old Subaru that Justine negotiated expertly through LA traffic. The shelter was only a ten-minute drive and as soon as they arrived both Justine and Rochelle were instantly accosted by people who worked there.

“How’s it going with Justine?” Sienna asked Alexis, as she looked around. She didn’t know what they were supposed to do with themselves. If anyone at the shelter had recognized them, they didn’t let on. Or they were too busy to notice or care.

“Good, I think. She’s more forthcoming than I had expected. Very frank and straightforward. You?”

“Rochelle’s a sweetheart.”

Someone walked up to them. “Hi there. My name’s Darrel, they/them. Justine asked me to give you the grand tour.”

They shook hands and exchanged pleasantries and pronouns—both she/her for Alexis and Sienna.

“Justine urged me not to make a big song and dance about it, but I’m your mother’s biggest fan,” Darrel said to Sienna.

“Color me surprised, as most people can’t shut up about my dad,” Sienna quipped. “But it’s a lovely surprise.” Being an actor, Sienna had huge respect for her father’s career, but he was a good-looking white man. Her mother was the first Black female showrunner in all of TV’s history. Sienna’s admiration for her mother knew no bounds, because not only had she accomplished professional success against the odds, she’d also been Sienna and her sister’s primary parent, and a damn good one at that. To hear a stranger gush about her mother for once made for a nice change.

“Of course, I’m also totally into you two,” Darrel continued as they walked them to a door opposite the reception area. “This movie is like a dream for us working at the shelter and I love that you’re both going to be starring in it.” Darrel stopped in front of the closed door. They fixed their gaze on Alexis. “Good luck playing Justine.” Darrel chuckled. “Lord knows I love that woman to absolute bits, but she’s a piece of work.” They followed up with a quick wink, then focused their attention on Sienna. “Rochelle’s like the opposite. You can ask her anything. She’s an open book. I’m not claiming you’ll have an easier time of it because, well, what do I know about acting? But they’re like ice and fire. Together, they create some sort of magic, though.” They tapped their chest. “They both have a permanent place in here as far as I’m concerned. Justine has dedicated her life to making the lives of people like me infinitely better. She’s completely selfless. She doesn’t really want to do this movie. She doesn’t want that kind of intrusion in her life and emphasis on her story, but this too, she’s doing for us. For the kids who come knocking at our door with nothing but the clothes they’re wearing and a few dollars in their pocket.”

Obviously, like Rochelle, Darrel loved to talk. They had the same inviting warmth about them.

“I’d love to take you out for a drink,” Alexis said. “You seem to know Justine well. How long have you been working here?”

“I arrived here when I was fifteen. The shelter helped me with literally everything.” Darrel’s voice cracked the tiniest of bits. “I got my degree in social work, just like Justine, and I’ve been working here ever since. I’ll be thirty next month.”

“Wow.” Alexis’s eyes went wide. “You must be a treasure trove of information on Justine.” Sienna’s co-star seemed to share Justine’s kind of single-mindedness

“I’m so sorry you had to end up here,” Sienna said, acknowledging Darrel’s unimaginable-to-her ordeal.

“It is what it is, and I’m standing here with you two glitzy ladies now.” They shot them an easy smile that probably hid a world of past hurt. “Have I said it’s my honor?” They nodded at the door. “Shall we start the tour?”

Darrel showed Sienna and Alexis the dorm-style bedrooms, the gender-neutral communal bathrooms, and the dining area with large tables.

Sienna’s parents were rich, and she had never had to come out. She’d never had to declare her sexuality to her parents—the way it should be. Even though she knew the Gimme Shelter script by heart, and could give an off-book performance there and then, actually being at the Rainbow Shelter, and seeing it with her own eyes, was a shock to her system. Despite its stark cleanliness, there was something inherently bleak about young people having to live like this.

“How are we getting on?” Rochelle had come out of nowhere.

“It’s eye-opening to be here,” Alexis said.

“Justine will probably be a while,” Rochelle said. “I need to get home. My daughter called, and I’ve unexpectedly got my grandkids tonight. You can either hang out here and wait for Justine, or share an Uber with me back to my house.”

“I can get a car home from here,” Alexis said. “I have a thing tonight that I need to get ready for.” She narrowed her eyes. “It’s not possible to say goodbye to Justine?” There was genuine disappointment in her voice.

“If she’s doing an intake, she’s not going to interrupt that delicate process,” Darrel said. “But I’ll tell her you couldn’t stay. Don’t worry about it. She won’t think you’re rude.”

“I’ll be seeing her tomorrow, anyway,” Alexis said in that direct manner she had. She dug her phone out of her pocket. “Can I ask for your number, Darrel? So we can grab that drink soon?”

While Alexis and Darrel exchanged numbers, Rochelle approached Sienna.

“Are you okay?” She tilted her head.

Sienna nodded.

“Despite the love we put into it, this place is not the Ritz.”

This was not the time for Sienna to be fragile about her own privilege. “If it’s okay with everyone, I’d like to hang around for a bit,” she said, refusing to give in to the impulse to get out of there and retreat into the swanky penthouse her father had bought for her. Something compelled her to stay.

CHAPTER3

Justine had never set out to be the face of the Rainbow Shelter. It had happened gradually and naturally, and it was a common occurrence for a kid to turn up and ask for her specifically, simply because they knew her name. She never denied the request because when someone had mustered up the courage to walk into the shelter—not something anyone did lightly—it was exactly the right moment to give them a tiny slice of her time. In Justine’s book, it topped giving her attention to two Hollywood starlets doing research on her any day of the week. The kids always came first. Surely Alexis and Sienna would understand.

She hadn’t expected either of them to still be there after she’d talked a young girl through her options and how the shelter could help her, but when she walked into the staff’s break room, she found Sienna and Darrel huddled together, chatting like the best of friends. There was no sign of Alexis.

Sienna’s brown eyes lit up when she spotted Justine. She managed a small smile in response. While Justine prided herself on her endless reserves of energy—how else to build a shelter out of nothing?—an intake conversation could be draining, especially if the girl reminded her so much of herself back in the day.

“I see Darrel has kept you entertained.” Justine crashed into a chair. She just needed a few minutes and a strong cup of coffee and she’d be her fired up old self again. Although, admittedly, she was no spring chicken anymore, and every so often, she just needed some rest.

“Largest mug I can find?” Darrel said.

“Thanks so much, D. You’re a saint.” Justine was hardly in the habit of asking the shelter’s staff to pour her a cup of coffee—they had far better things to do with their time—but Darrel couldn’t help themself. If Justine remembered correctly, Darrel’s shift had ended a while ago.

“Do you want some more coffee, Sienna?” Darrel asked.

Sienna shook her head. “No thanks.”

She was probably used to complicated lattes that cost an arm and a leg, but Justine had long ago stopped holding other people’s privilege against them. It served no purpose. And she needed people with money, like Sienna Bright, and their families to fund the shelter.

Darrel handed Justine an extra-large mug and Justine closed her eyes as she sipped. The shelter’s coffee was bulk-bought run-of-the-mill fare, but it tasted exquisite right now. But why was she thinking about the quality of the coffee, anyway? Did Sienna Bright’s presence really have that effect on her? Justine wouldn’t have any of that.

“Did Darrel give you the tour?” she asked.

“Excuse me, ladies, but I have to run,” Darrel said. “My evening class starts soon.”

“Break a leg, D.” Justine paid for Darrel’s management course out of her own pocket because she wanted them to follow in her footsteps one day and run the shelter.

Darrel hugged Sienna goodbye as though they’d known each other much longer than the hour they’d just spent together.

“I hope you don’t mind I’m still here,” Sienna said. “I just… I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’m queer that being here does something to me. It’s, um…”

“Hard to fathom?” Justine pulled her lips into the warmest smile.

“Exactly,” Sienna said. “I feel like I’m living the life of a princess when I’m here.”

“Well.” Justine chuckled. “You would be to any of the kids here. You were to Darrel. I could tell. They like you.” Darrel was an excellent judge of character, Justine knew that much. They’d had to be to make it this far in life in their circumstances.

“They did say they admire my mom a lot.” Sienna leaned back in her chair.

“Oh yes. Maxine Brewster, right? Darrel loves her stuff.”

“Yeah.”

From how that single word was spoken, Justine could tell that Sienna and her mother were thick as thieves, which reminded her of the mental note she’d made earlier.

“Can I ask how your parents reacted when you came out?”

“I didn’t, not to my mom, at least. From when my sister and I were kids, she always referred to potential love interests as boys and girls. All options were our normal.”

“And you’re how old again?” While this was how it should be, it was not a tale Justine heard very often.

“Thirty-six and three months.” Sienna grinned and she might as well have said twenty-six because the skin of her face was as smooth as anything.

“Please tell your mother from me that she’s a rock star.”

“That’s high praise coming from the likes of you.” Sienna slung one jeans-clad leg over the other, while flinging a braid over her shoulder.

“Yeah, and it really shouldn’t be in this day and age, yet it is, and this shelter is still needed now more than ever.”

A shadow crossed Sienna’s face. Perhaps Justine had laid on the depressing side of the Rainbow Shelter a bit thick—she tended to do that. She was well-trained in tugging at the heartstrings of the rich and famous, but that’s not why Sienna was here.

“All of that being said, I’ve seen so many kids blossom after passing through here. Take Darrel. They’re thriving.”

“They spoke very highly of you.” A funny kind of smirk appeared on Sienna’s face.

“Is that why you’re grinning like that? Because of all the lovely things Darrel said about me?”

“They did also warn Alexis that you’re a piece of work.” Sienna obviously took great delight in sharing this information. The corners of her mouth tilted all the way up, making the windowless break room feel as though the sun was beaming inside nonetheless.

“That’s a fairly accurate description of me.” It was easy to respond to Sienna’s smile in kind.

Sienna’s full laugh was even more delightful. Justine could relax more around her because Sienna wasn’t the actor playing her and she didn’t make her feel as though she was trying to pick at all the scars on her soul. Additionally, Sienna was starting to remind her of Rochelle in more ways than one. She was easygoing, had a gorgeous smile, and a certain look in her eyes that was hard to not get sucked into.

“I’m starving,” Justine said. “Do you want to grab some dinner?”

Sienna’s thick eyebrows arched all the way up. Was that a hint of panic in her eyes?

“Not here,” Justine reassured her. “Although there’s nothing wrong with our food.”

“I would love to,” Sienna said, and freely gave away another one of her sunny smiles.

* * *

Justine walked them to a small Korean restaurant a few blocks away from the Rainbow Shelter. When they arrived there was a queue of hipsters waiting to get in, but Justine didn’t seem to notice. She marched to the door as though it was her God-given right and the maitre d’, a Korean woman of about the same age as Sienna, she guessed, hugged Justine as though she were a family member she hadn’t seen in far too long.

Being Bobby Bright’s daughter, Sienna had witnessed many times the kind of magic maitre d’s can perform when it comes to conjuring up a table. The woman had the same trick up her sleeve. In no time, a small table was set up for the two of them, tucked away in a discreet corner of the restaurant, as though they were Hollywood royalty and their privacy was of the utmost importance.

“I’m impressed.” Sienna leaned back in her seat and examined Justine’s face.

“My job does come with certain perks, like lifelong gratitude from kids who have done extremely well for themselves against all the odds.” She nodded in the direction of the maitre d’. “Min-ji came to us when she was seventeen. Together with the LGBT Center, we were able to get her a scholarship for the Culinary Institute, and now her restaurant is the toast of the town.” Justine smiled the biggest smile Sienna had seen on her so far. “She always has a table for me.”

“It’s a bit like going to dinner with my dad,” Sienna blurted out.

“The great Bobby Bright.” Justine pursed her lips. “What was it like growing up in his shadow?”

Without having taken any orders, a server arrived at their table with water, bottles of beer, and a divine-smelling Korean pancake.

“Now I really do feel like a princess,” Sienna said.

“You must be used to this.” There was no sarcasm in Justine’s tone, only curiosity.

“My parents divorced when I was five. I’m not close with my father. My mom and stepdad raised my sister and me.” Sienna picked up the bottle of beer and studied the label. “To put it bluntly, I could call my father up right now and ask for a hundred thousand dollars and it would be in my account immediately, as long as I don’t ask him to talk about my feelings, let alone his.”

Justine whistled through her teeth. “A hundred thousand bucks?” Her eyes went wide. “Please, do give him a call with my and the shelter’s regards.”

“Maybe I will.” Sienna sipped from her beer. It was ice cold and wonderfully crisp.

“That was a joke, just to be clear, and one in pretty poor taste.” For the first time since they’d met, Justine looked a touch uneasy. “How did Bobby react to you being queer?”

“As far as I know, he doesn’t care who I fall in love with.”

“As far as you know?”

Sienna shrugged. “As I said, we’re not close. I see him maybe once a month. Less if he’s abroad shooting or doing promo. I’m much closer to Eddy, my stepdad.”

More food was brought to the table. Sienna hadn’t even tried the pancake yet. She picked up a piece with her chopsticks and dipped it in the accompanying sauce. The piece of pancake slipped off and landed squarely in the middle of the dipping sauce.

“Oops.” She grinned at Justine. “I’m usually more dexterous than this.”

Quick as a flash, Justine fished the piece of pancake from the sauce with her chopsticks and held it in front of Sienna’s mouth.

“There’s nothing wrong with being a bit messy.” She gazed into Sienna’s eyes. “It’s always the least of my worries, so here you go.”

Sienna narrowed her eyes, then held up her plate so Justine could drop the piece of pancake on it. She wasn’t going to eat it from Justine’s chopsticks. Sienna considered herself way too cool for that.

“Thanks.” As she successfully navigated the food to her mouth, she wondered what had just happened. The energy had somehow shifted. Then Sienna actually tasted the delicacy put in front of her. “Oh my,” she exclaimed. “It’s out of this world.”

“I thought you’d like it.” Justine pointed at another dish with the tip of her chopsticks. “Try the bulgogi. It’s to die for.”

Sienna focused on the delicious food while she adjusted to the sudden change in temperature. It was as though, after only a few sips of Korean beer, the weight that Justine seemed to carry around on her shoulders all day, had slipped off. It wasn’t an entirely different woman sitting across from Sienna, but Justine looked a lot more relaxed. Sienna chalked it up to the hearty welcome they’d received at the restaurant and the amazing dishes they were treated to.

“There’s a reason Rochelle invited you to her house. You should see my place,” Justine confided in Sienna. “I don’t spend a lot of time at home and after a while the messiness just becomes a part of the decor, you know?”

“And you couldn’t be bothered to tidy up for two up-and-coming actors taking Hollywood by storm?” Sienna joked, because she felt as though she could now.

Justine tilted her head. “Alexis Dalton is definitely an up-and-comer, but you?” She sank her front teeth into her bottom lip. “I’d say you’ve very much arrived already.”

Sienna looked into Justine’s eerie blue eyes. “The praise just keeps on coming. And that from a woman who has no time for half-truths.” If Sienna knew one thing, it was what flirting looked like—and she was staring it straight in the face.

“You’re right.” Justine painted on a small smile. “What do I know?” She tilted her head and kept her gaze on Sienna. She seemed to have lost interest in the delicious food in front of them.

“Have you seen anything I’m in?” Sienna braced herself for a hard no.

“No, but I can so easily imagine you as, um, let’s see.” Justine narrowed her eyes. “Any type of smoldering leading lady, really. Surely you’re aware of being drop-dead gorgeous?”

Although an expert at flirting, Sienna was thrown. She didn’t know whether to laugh it off or go along with it. From the vibes she’d gotten from Justine throughout the day, she could only conclude she wasn’t a woman who’d play games. Unless playing games was her preferred relaxation after another challenging day at the homeless shelter.

“A famous movie critic once wrote I won big-time in the genetic lottery, although he might have been referring to my status as a Hollywood nepo-baby rather than my looks.” In the end, Sienna couldn’t resist playing along. She never could. And most definitely not with a formidable woman like Justine Blackburn.

“Nah. I don’t think so.” Justine sipped her beer, all the while keeping her gaze trained on Sienna.

Sienna had focused most of her research on Rochelle’s life, personal as well as professional. She’d need to do a deep dive into whatever there was to find about Justine’s romantic history—or the lack thereof. Her best bet was probably to just ask Rochelle.

“Everything to your liking?” The maitre d’ appeared at their table, carrying two more plates, and breaking the spell of whatever game they were playing.

“It’s all fantastic as usual, Min-ji.” Justine beamed a wide smile at the woman. “I swear the food gets better every time.”

Sienna took the pause in conversation to regroup. She inhaled deeply and piled some more of the mouthwatering food onto her plate.

“This one here…”—Min-ji pointed at Justine—“forgets to eat half the time, so I make sure there’s plenty whenever she comes to my restaurant.” She placed the dishes on the table. “I will not tolerate leftovers so, please, eat more.” She suddenly sounded rather bossy. Min-ji glanced at Sienna and shot her a wink. “Sometimes, Justine needs a firm hand.”

“Good to know.” Sienna had a feeling she’d be coming to this restaurant again. “Thank you for this invaluable insider information.”

“My pleasure.” After another stern nod at the food, Min-ji walked away.

“She’s right,” Justine said. “I barely ate anything today. I got so sucked into things, I just forgot. And today’s been a weird one, what with you and Alexis coming over.” She averted her eyes and reached for more food. “That beer might have gone to my head a little and I’m a terrible flirt when tipsy.” She looked at Sienna from under her lashes, a crooked grin on her lips. “Let me focus on this bibimbap first before I become even more impertinent.”

“For the record, I don’t think you were being impertinent at all.” Sienna spooned a few bites of the divine-smelling bulgogi onto her plate. “And I’m a big fan of flirting, although I admit I wasn’t expecting it tonight.”

Justine shrugged. “I don’t have many vices, but inappropriate flirting with beautiful women is definitely one of them.” She didn’t come across as extremely apologetic—it was stated like just another fact about herself.

“It’s not inappropriate when reciprocated.” Sienna could push the boat out as well.

In response, Justine widened her grin. “And you are very beautiful.”

Between mouthfuls of food, Sienna asked, “Do you tend to flirt just for the sake of it or with a certain outcome in mind?”

Justine gave a hearty chuckle now. “Your directness is absolutely refreshing.” She leaned over the table. “I don’t usually hit on women who are so much younger than me so I’m not used to that, but I like it.”

“Ten out of ten for not answering my question.” Sienna was getting fired up—perhaps even getting a little carried away.

“Gorgeous and feisty. Fuck. I think I might be in big trouble.”

“And still you persist with your non-answer.”

“I’m nothing if not persistent.” Justine took a sip of water instead of beer. “But fair enough.” She tipped her head to the right. “While I do like a good flirt, that doesn’t mean I’m very skilled at it and half the time, even if I have, um, a certain outcome in mind, my advances get rebuffed. Turns out that practice doesn’t always make perfect.”

“Persistent and brutally honest. Wow.” Sienna was impressed with Justine’s candor.

“That thing about not having time for half-truths also pertains to myself.”

“It’s good that you make time for flirting in your busy life, though.”

“Thank you for being such a good sport about it.” Justine caught a piece of kimchi between her chopsticks.

“Who says I’m just being a good sport about it?” Sienna pulled her lips into the kind of half-smile that had driven many a woman crazy—her own success rate with flirting and certain outcomes was much higher than fifty percent, especially since her first movie appearance. “Who says I’m not thoroughly enjoying it instead?” Should she or should she not? Why the hell not? “With a certain outcome in mind?”

CHAPTER4

If Justine believed in anything, especially after a deliciously cold bottle of Korean beer, it was finishing what she started. In fact, she prided herself on it. No half-truths and certainly no half measures.