Shiatsu E-Book

Barbara Murakami

• Herausgeber: Pirmoni-Verlag
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Sprache: Deutsch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024

Seitenzahl: 260

Beschreibung

After a thorough training in the theoretical basics and all those various treatment techniques of Shiatsu, my journey into the heart of Shiatsu began through my regular work with severely disabled adults. These encounters touched me deeply and made it even clearer to me than I had already known from my own previous experiences with Shiatsu: I discovered that the true magic of Shiatsu lies in the quiet moments of shared presence and connection. The core of Shiatsu is encounter, is authentic connection. I immersed myself in this exploration and, as Milton Erickson, the founder of hypnotherapy says: "Energy flows, where the attention goes." That's, what happened. I found myself surrounded by a community of fellow practitioners who shared their own insights and experiences on the subject of encounter in Shiatsu. That's how the idea for this book came about. It is intended to bundle the widely scattered experiences and insights like a magnifying glass and to draw the eye onto the core of Shiatsu, to connection, to encounter, to what happens between the two partners in the process. By shining a light on the subtle dynamics that unfold between practitioner and recipient, we can uncover a deeper understanding of the healing potential inherent in these connections.

Leseprobe

Shiatsu

Space for Encounter

Edited byBarbara Murakami

All rights reserved

© 2024 Pirmoni-Verlag, Krefeld

www.pirmoni.de

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher. Applications for the copyright owner’s written permission to reproduce any part of this publication should be addressed directly to the publisher: Pirmoni Verlag, Hagerweg 17, D-47798 Krefeld, [email protected].

Bibliografische Information der Deutschen Nationalbibliothek: Die Deutsche Nationalbibliothek verzeichnet diese Publikation in der Deutschen Nationalbibliografie; detaillierte bibliografische Daten sind im Internet über www.dnb.dnb.de abrufbar.

Picture credits:

pp. 7, 29, 33, 45, 67, 89, 99, 109, 121, 145, 161, 203 © Pirmoni-Verlag, Krefeld

p. 79 © taken from the Daoist canon, 13 Jh., »Gebieter der vier Richtungen«

p. 133 © with friendly permission of Ulrike Haffke

p. 153 © with friendly permission of Susanne Jüsten

p. 179 © Cave painting based on the Cueva de las manos

p. 187 © Angelika Bungert-Stüttgen, www.freiraumfrau.de

The copyright of the portrait photos in the appendix lies with the respective authors.

Cover design:

Im Bambushain, Krefeld, Germany

Printed by:

TOTEM, Polen

ISBN 978-3-9825990-2-1 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-3-9825990-3-8 (ebook)

Contents

Foreword

1Finding Authentic Connection

Barbara Murakami

2DJ

Heidy van Koesveld

3Being in Suspension

Rami Leon Yulzari

4From Practitioner to Companion

Joachim Schrievers

5Pictures in a Treatment Room

Rami Leon Yulzari

6The Alchemy of Words

Chris McAlister

7To Speak or Not to Speak?

Chris McAlister

8Zen, Shiatsu and the Art of the Clown

Nick Pole

9Muscles have Feelings Too

Bill Palmer

10Like a Caterpillar in a Cocoon

Barbara Murakami

11The Spirit of the Curtain

Rami Leon Yulzari

12Resonance in Body Therapy

Wilfried Rappenecker

13Images of Resonance

Rami Leon Yulzari

14The Transpersonal Field of Experience as a Resonance Phenomenon

Joachim Schrievers

15Human Dignity is Tangible

René Fix

16Sound of the Heart, NOW

Rami Leon Yulzari

17Walking to talk

Chris McAlister

Authors

Foreword

As the editor, co-author and translator of this book, »Shiatsu – Space for Encounter,« it is a pleasure for me to preface its English edition with a few introductory words. Within these pages, you will find a narrative that transcends the mere mechanics of Shiatsu practice, delving into the essence of what it means to truly connect with another human being.

In reflecting on the essence of Shiatsu, I am reminded of a poignant conversation with my dear friend and mentor, Joachim Schrievers. Over pizza and red wine, he posed a simple yet profound question: »What is the core of Shiatsu?« After a moment of silence, my answer emerged effortlessly: »To be with someone for a while.« Was that a suitable answer? I don’t think you would find it on the website of a Shiatsu practitioner. Yet, while seemingly simplistic and vague, this notion seemed to encapsulate the heart of Shiatsu – a practice rooted not only in technique, but in the genuine presence and connection between practitioner and recipient.

After a thorough training in the theoretical basics and all those various treatment techniques of Shiatsu, my journey into the heart of Shiatsu began through my regular work with severely disabled adults.

At first, I was at a loss. Most of what I had learned so far was unsuitable for this situation. People who have been sitting in a wheelchair almost motionless for most of their lives don’t care about meridians, skillful stretches or rotations. And even those who can walk or even lie down on the mat can often do little with a »classic« shiatsu treatment or initially find it very difficult to engage with touch.

It would have stood to reason to throw in the towel with the understanding that Shiatsu made no sense in this context. Something stopped me, however, and every week I patiently invited the people entrusted to me to spend time with »Shiatsu«.

The miracle happened in slow motion. Over a period of months tender threads of contact were spun and gradually developed into stable, cordial connections. Many of my clients were increasingly happy to accept my offer, they put my hands to where they wanted to be touched and moved in a shared rhythm with me, we just enjoyed times of silence and we always found a way to a smile or a hearty laugh. These encounters touched me deeply and made it even clearer to me than I had already known from my own previous experiences with Shiatsu: I discovered that the true magic of Shiatsu lies in the quiet moments of shared presence and connection. The core of Shiatsu is encounter, is authentic connection. Could this also be an answer to the initial question?

I immersed myself in this exploration and, as Milton Erickson, the founder of hypnotherapy says: »Energy flows, where the attention goes.« That’s, what happened. I found myself surrounded by a community of fellow practitioners who shared their own insights and experiences on the subject of encounter in Shiatsu. That’s how the idea for this book came about. It is intended to bundle the widely scattered experiences and insights like a magnifying glass and to draw the eye onto the core of Shiatsu, to connection, to encounter, to what happens between the two partners in the process. By shining a light on the subtle dynamics that unfold between practitioner and recipient, we can uncover a deeper understanding of the healing potential inherent in these connections.

It is with sincere gratitude that I extend my heartfelt thanks to all the wonderful colleagues who have contributed to this book. Their expertise, wisdom, support and generosity have been invaluable in bringing this project to fruition. This book would not have been possible without their contributions.

And I would like to sincerely thank Nick Pole, Chris McAllister, Heidy van Koesveld, and Garry Hammond for their invaluable assistance in refining the translations contained within this book. Their expertise and attention to detail have helped to ensure that the essence of these teachings remains true to the original intent.

With each word carefully translated, my hope is that the essence of Shiatsu – rooted in the power of authentic connection – will resonate with readers from diverse cultures and backgrounds. It is my belief that the universal language of touch and human connection knows no bounds, transcending geographical borders and linguistic barriers.

»I wish there had been a book like this during my Shiatsu training«, someone said to whom I gave these texts to read in advance.

Well, here it is and I hope you enjoy reading it.

Barbara Murakami, April 2024

1

Barbara Murakami

Finding Authentic Connection

BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS IN SHIATSU

He who marvelscannot at the same timereject or devalue.

Lukas

»Leave again«, says Lukas, an autistic young man, after the first two minutes of his Shiatsu treatment. Lukas is 29 years old, tall and thin with large, absent eyes and hasty movements. Eye contact is almost impossible. He speaks very little and then in short, choppy sentences. He wears his headphones. He always carries them with him, along with his MP3 player. He is a new member of the group of adults in an institution for people with disabilities who receive Shiatsu from me on a regular basis as part of a personal development programme.

So we go back to his workplace. The following week I pick him up again, take him to the room I can use for the treatments, he sits down on the bench (he doesn’t lie down, certainly not on a mat on the floor), I treat his hands. After three minutes, at his request, I take him back.

Over the next few weeks, our meetings follow a similar pattern. I pick him up, he lets me treat him for a few minutes and then he wants to go back to his workplace. However, a slow – motion development is taking place, which becomes clear when you look back six months later.

Now, when I stand in the doorway to pick him up, he immediately runs across the room to take my hand, smiles, and quickly walks off with me. He has a name for what it‘s all about: »Shiatsu«. He has been asking about it all morning. In the treatment room, he immediately sits down on the bench and holds out his hands to me. We always start the treatment with his hands. His eyes wander around the room and he asks me to put things in order, like closing the door to an adjoining room or turning the light on or off. Of course, I comply. I work on his arms, shoulders, back and legs as he sits. Every now and then he makes eye contact with me and we smile at each other. It now takes 15 minutes or more before he wants to leave again. When I meet him in the corridor later that day, he says: »The Shiatsu was good«.

»Finding Authentic Connection« is the title of this essay. The brief description of a series of treatments with an autistic person illustrates some of the conditions for fruitful contact in Shiatsu, as it is more difficult for autistic people to make contact at all than for others.

•An authentic connection is only possible when the client can fully trust that nothing will happen that is contrary to their needs, that they are in control of the situation and that there is no imbalance of power. Only then can they can engage and open up.

•At the same time, it is about actively responding to the client’s needs. Would they prefer to sit, lie or stand? Which areas of the body need touch? (Some of the disabled people I work with may not be able to speak, but they guide my hands to where they want to be touched). Should the heating or lights be on or off?

•A relationship is most easily established when two people are »on the same wavelength« in at least one area. In the context of Shiatsu, this means that the practitioner first tunes into the energy of the person being treated in a mutual resonance. This tuning can manifest itself in the practitioner adjusting the speed at which they move and speak to match that of the client, using a similar volume, adopting a similar posture and also adjusting their facial expressions to match the client’s. In psychotherapy this is called pacing. In the language of Traditional Chinese Medicine, it is about a yin quality in the treatment, as well as the point of »responding to the client’s needs«. In the case of Lukas, for example, this means going along with his erratic movements rather than counteracting them and to some extent picking up on his short, choppy sentences.

•Encounters need a counterpart. What I have said about pacing does not mean that the practitioner should withdraw completely. It is only when they show themselves with their own joy, dismay or vulnerability, when they bring impulses into the process of their own accord that trigger development, when they also set limits to the client‘s needs, that a real contact can arise. In psychotherapy, this is known as leading; in the language of TCM, it is known as a yang quality.

•It often takes a lot of patience to create space for encounter and development. It might have been tempting to stop Lukas’ treatments after 2-3 attempts with the thought: Shiatsu is not for him. But then this fulfilling development would not have taken place. »Grass does not grow faster if you pull on it« is an African proverb. This is also true for Shiatsu. You can create the space for growth, but the growth itself must happen at its own pace.

•Perseverance and repetition are closely linked to patience. Deep encounters and sustainable development usually require more than just a single event.

Inner Practice – It’s all a Matter of Attitude

Let us now leave the realm of this particular form of Shiatsu treatment for a while and turn our attention to the subject of attitudes. To answer this question, we will turn to psychology and philosophy, among other things, because encounter is also a psychological process.

What exactly is encounter?

Today, instead of connection or encounter, we often come across the term resonance. The sociologist Hartmut Rosa has studied resonance extensively and has identified four characteristics:

•Touch: When I resonate with someone, they touch me inside, something in my soul is set in motion, attention and interest are aroused, my eyes widen or begin to light up.

•Self-efficacy: However, I can only speak of resonance when I enter into an exchange with the other person and reach them. Glances are exchanged, a physical reaction may become visible, a dialogue develops on a physical or verbal level.

•Transformation: Through the experience of resonance, something changes in me and in the other person. This can be something big, something that »makes me into a different person« or something barely perceptible such as a temporary change in mood or view of something.

•Uncontrollability: Whether or not resonance occurs is beyond our control. Although we can create some conditions that favour resonance, we cannot force it. Nor do we really have any real influence on the direction in which a change moves and what the result will be. We will come back to this point at a later stage.

Immediacy

At the beginning of a Shiatsu treatment, as many of us have learned during our training, there is usually a diagnosis, which is differentiated and changed during the course of the treatment. This may be a hara diagnosis, a questioning, a pulse diagnosis or an examination of the whole energy field. After the treatment, we often take some notes to use as a basis for further treatments.

I still remember my own training days. One of our homework assignments was to write reports on several series of 10 treatments. What struck me immediately was the fact that what happens in the depths of Shiatsu is not really something that can be put into words. So, everything I put down on paper just stayed on the surface. And taking notes had the effect of focusing my attention more on the describable surface phenomena, so that I could find something that could be categorised as a concept and written down. It was easy to lose sight of the person as a whole with his or her developmental tasks and possibilities. The woman lying in front of me then became the one with the helper syndrome and the Kyo in the spleen meridian, another one became the woman with depression and neediness in the metal area.

I also remember the treatments I received myself at the time. How many times did I try to understand from a theoretical point of view what the practitioner was doing? Which meridian had he chosen? What techniques did he use? What did the Hara diagnosis reveal?

This resulted in me not being fully engaged in the actual process, but rather perceiving what the meridian concepts suggested was happening.

Diagnoses and protocols are important to give direction to what we do. But they get in the way of a real encounter in the present moment. An encounter is immediate. Neither previous experiences nor concepts, expectations and desires come between the two people who meet. »No memory, no desire, no understanding!« is also the advice of the psychoanalyst Wilfred Bion in relation to psychotherapeutic processes, because according to him, memories, desires and explanations prevent intuition and receptivity to what is really happening in the moment, to the ultimate truth shared by the two people meeting.

The religious philosopher Martin Buber distinguishes between two basic attitudes from which a person can relate to the world. From the attitude of I-It, I perceive the world in detail, interpret it, make it available, shape it. I stand in front of a something or even several somethings that are separated from me and from each other. From the attitude of I-Thou, I grasp the other person with my whole being in their entirety. I do not perceive them as a thing, and they are not made up of things. This is Buber’s analogy to illustrate the point:

»Just as the melody is not made up of notes, nor a verse is of words … so is the man to whom I say Thou. I can take out from him the colour of his hair, or of his speech or of his goodness, I must continually do this. But each time I do it he ceases to be Thou.«

Children in particular are able to observe the other in a holistic, self-forgetting way. They can stand in front of a person with their mouth open, their eyes wide, without any reaction of their own and take them in completely. This kind of observation is what we call »marvelling«. It shows great respect and refrains from any judgement.

»He who marvels cannot at the same time reject or devalue«, writes Mechthild Erpenbeck in her book Wirksam werden im Kontakt. »It is not even possible to explain and to understand. In moments of pure marvelling, we are literally speechless and self-forgetful. This can be a very valuable foundation for all subsequent actions in our work: Once the moment of wonder has passed, a curious, cautious movement towards it follows. Just like the toddler in the underground who, after long minutes of silent wonder, ›awakens‹ from his motionlessness and reaches out, for example, to the dreadlocks of the person sitting opposite to him. A cautious and yet determined gesture. It is the beginning of all that is meant by the word ›encounter‹. All exploration begins with this primal scene of marvelling. All use of knowledge and skill comes afterwards.«

This already suggests that it is neither possible nor sensible to approach the world from an I-Thou attitude throughout. The moment of wonder is just as fleeting as the moments of deep encounter. Consciousness soon swings back to an I-It attitude, and that is a good thing.

For we can only shape the world if we perceive it in detail and organise our perceptions into hypotheses, theories and concepts. Otherwise, we could neither communicate nor cooperate, let alone act and survive as individuals or as a community.

And of course, in Shiatsu, we need knowledge, techniques, and good diagnostics to support our clients with their particular problems.

What is important is the ability to oscillate between an openness and receptivity beyond all concepts, memories and expectations and a rational, deductive, evaluative and proactive attitude.

And so, perhaps unlike Bion, I would also see understanding as an important part of the therapeutic process. But it is only after the holistic encounter and perception that it has its place as an anchor for memory, as a guide for further work. Knowing full well that what I think I have understood is not permanent. If it becomes too prominent in our consciousness, it obscures our view of what may have already changed.

As important as it is to acquire knowledge, make diagnoses and pursue hypotheses, it is just as important to keep the windshield wipers on, to forget all previous knowledge and to be open to all the possibilities that the present moment holds. The Zen Buddhist Shunryu Suzuku coined the apt term »beginner‘s mind« for this, writing:

»In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, in the expert’s mind there are only a few.«

A Soft Gaze

Time and space often fade into the background of my consciousness when I give Shiatsu. My brain is in alpha mode, as neurophysiologists call this state of heightened perceptual awareness of a wider field of internal and external processes, a state between waking and dream. I usually start by asking what theme the client has brought with them. This theme will then resonate and give a certain colour to the field without becoming too sharply defined.

A receptivity to what is unfolding right now is best established when our attention is not focused on specific objects, details or points, but is allowed to move freely in space. Free-floating attention is therefore also an attitude that is often adopted in psychotherapy in order to gain a sense of the current mental process as a whole. This type of attention allows everything that comes into awareness to stand side by side on an equal footing, without classifying, evaluating or weighting it. In psychoanalysis, it is therefore also called »evenly suspended attention«.

»Free-floating attention« does not mean that I can freely indulge in my thoughts and arbitrarily direct my attention to anything that comes to mind. That would be inattention.

The focus is on full attention to the process as a whole, with everything that arises in connection with the client and the practitioner. This need not be something outwardly perceptible such as a movement or an expression. In Shiatsu in particular, we work with the much more subtle perceptible movements of Qi, in the client, in the practitioner and in the whole energetic field. These can be perceptions that cannot yet be put into words and perhaps only take shape in inner images and daydreams.

Many of us are probably familiar with daydream-like states from Shiatsu treatments, whether in the role of the practitioner or the client. Giving them space can be a wonderful way to bring the energetic, unconscious processes of both participants into resonance. The psychoanalyst Bion calls this state of ‘dreaming along’ Rêverie, which the therapist can consciously adopt. What a poetic expression!

When two people meet in such a space of gentle attention, as Rami Yulzari, Shiatsu and Qigong teacher from Israel, calls it in his essay »Being in Suspension«, it is much easier to open up and make deep contact, because no one has to fear being prematurely categorised and judged. They can show themselves as they really are.

Being in Agreement

I’ve never had good posture. »Child, sit up straight«, my mother admonished me again and again, with the result that, in defiance, I slouched even more. A lot of desk work and the burden of everyday life did their bit. My upper back is not really straight like a dancer’s and tends to be rather stiff. One of my first Shiatsu therapists meant well with me. He remarked that my upper back was very tense. With enthusiasm, he launched into the treatment, applying strong, rhythmic pressure to my thoracic spine. It was presumably intended for relaxation. Everything inside me tightened. My back tensed strongly to build up counter-pressure. »Leave me alone!« was my greatest wish in this situation.

In my opinion, being able to show yourself and being acknowledged unconditionally are basic prerequisites for contact. And it is from this point that further development is possible. Even if we like to fight against all sorts of things and want to change them, experience shows that things can only start to flow when we see and appreciate what we find for what it is. Yes, that’s how it is … In Shiatsu, for example, this means that we are better off not offering hasty solutions to what we see as the client’s problem. There are several reasons for this:

•The client gets the feeling that something is wrong with them. They will cut off the contact.

•The solution may not fit the nature or size of the problem. The client feels that their suffering and their own attempts to solve the problem are not seen and withdraws.

•A real solution to the problem will be more sustainable if the client finds it themselves, perhaps with our support. This can happen in conversation, but also by experimenting with different movements and touches.

•Perhaps what appears to us as the problem is a solution to something deeper that makes sense for the client. The first step is to recognise this. What does this ›problem‹ make possible for me? What does it prevent me from? What does it protect me from? (the stiff neck, the aching knee, the drug addiction …). These can be helpful questions that acknowledge what exists and at the same time initiate a reorientation.

•Recognising something as a fact can bring relaxation and peace even in very stressful situations. Yes, that‘s right, my back hurts. Yes, that’s right, this important project failed. Yes, that‘s right, my life is coming to an end … Yes, that’s how it is, and where can it go from here?

About Authorities, Experts and Eye Level

»My doctor diagnosed me with Restless Legs Syndrome. Can you do anything about it?« This was the inquiry from an elderly lady on the phone. »I can’t sleep at all, and neither can my husband.« I listened to the lady for a while. My sympathy grew and so did my desire to help her. Nevertheless, I made an effort not to let her role ascription snap into place. »There’s probably not much I can do on my own«, was my reply. »Let’s see what we can achieve together.«

People often come to a Shiatsu treatment with a specific problem that the expert (practitioner) is supposed to fix. The practitioner as an authority. This is often the initial situation that needs to be acknowledged first. »Recognising what is.«

Indeed, Shiatsu practitioners usually undergo several years of training, acquiring extensive knowledge about meridian pathways and energetic connections. They have worked intensively on their inner attitude and outer posture and have learned many techniques.

They have acquired expertise and thus an authority in their field, which they provide to the client with the hope that it will improve their well-being soon. What could be wrong with that? Nothing at all for a start.

When it comes to financial matters, I turn to the tax advisor. If my car has an engine problem, the car mechanic is the expert, and I grant them a certain authority.

What about Shiatsu? In my opinion, it depends on three things: the degree of neediness of the client, the degree of personal responsibility that the client is currently willing and able to assume and the nature of the problem. The first two points are closely related. If a client is in a deep crisis or is in severe pain, they are more likely to need guidance, a targeted, grounding treatment and the trust that they will receive help. If they have never learned to take responsibility themselves or have no sense of themselves, it is just as necessary for the practitioner to take the lead and do what the client needs according to their perception and expertise. And there are certainly also very tangible, more physical problems in the Shiatsu context that require expert, targeted action.

And yet there are stumbling blocks and situations in Shiatsu that require a different attitude and different behaviour. If the client sees the practitioner predominantly as an expert who will hopefully solve their problem, they adopt a childlike attitude. They become passive, dependent, and, like a child, eager to please the practitioner, avoid negative evaluations, and do everything right. They hand the responsibility for the process over to the practitioner without contributing themselves. All of this makes real contact very difficult.

What makes the contact even more difficult is the following: The child role, in which one is exposed (at least in one’s own perception) to the assessments, evaluations and advice of the practitioner, often touches on old hurts from one’s own childhood. The client is on guard, projections occur and the contact is disrupted or never established.

So what can we do? Central for me is something that the Danish family therapist Jasper Juul calls equal dignity. Even if I, as a practitioner, take the lead in certain areas, this does not detract from the equal dignity and value of both participants. If I can convey this attitude authentically, the client may be open to guidance and targeted action without feeling looked down upon.

However, one of the aims of Shiatsu – at least as I see it – is to open up more and more space for self-awareness, self-regulation and personal responsibility as far as the client is able to go. And the more this happens, the more both client and practitioner are in contact with themselves, their dignity and their potential, the sooner a real encounter at eye level is possible.

About Empathy, Centring und Reflective Distance

It just feels good to be seen, to be understood. We have all experienced this. To understand another person, you need a skill that Carl Rogers, the founder of the client-centred psychotherapy approach emphasised: empathy, the ability to cognitively and emotionally put yourself in another person’s shoes and to communicate what you have perceived in them.

Can you have too much empathy? As with Yin and Yang, for every pole there is an opposite pole that demands its right. If my attention is so focused on the other person that I merge with them, I can easily lose myself and there is no boundary between me and the other. »Without a boundary, there is no touch«, says Mechthild Erpenbrecht in this context.

Touch occurs at the boundary between me and you, physically through the skin, but also energetically or emotionally. However, we should not imagine this boundary to be too rigid. Again, it is a matter of oscillating between a state in which I am completely with myself and a deep connection with the other person.

In a workshop, Joachim Schrievers, a Shiatsu and Qigong teacher from Bissingen/Teck, Germany, once suggested an exercise that I would like to share with you here in part:

Two people, one in the role of the practitioner, the other in the role of the client, held each other by the hand. The practitioner focused his attention entirely on himself and his feelings. The client was out of sight. After a while, he changed the focus of attention. He was now completely with the client and did not pay any attention to himself at all. In a third phase, the focus of attention settled in an area that felt right for the situation and for both partners.

This was a fascinating experience for me. I still remember it vividly. On the outside, nothing was happening, but energetically I could definitely feel where the practitioner’s attention was.

When his attention was elsewhere, I myself felt somehow rigid, left alone and cold.

My colour sensation was grey. When he was completely with me, I felt like a child being watched closely and had no space of my own. I took cover to keep a bit of privacy. My muscles tensed and my breathing accelerated. Only when the right amount of attention was balanced out for both of us was I able to relax and get involved.

My experience in the role of the practitioner in this exercise was also revealing. When I focused all my attention on myself and my issues, I also felt rather cool, mechanical, and less in the flow. When I focused all my attention on my partner, it became exhausting for me. And I would involuntarily tense my muscles to avoid »falling into« my partner. There was also a certain fear of being »sucked in« and being drawn into a vortex.