Sounds from the Soul E-Book

Sissel Adronia Karlsen

• Herausgeber: Books on Demand
• Kategorie: Gesellschafts- und Liebesromane
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024

Seitenzahl: 367

Beschreibung

It was an ordinary day. Sissel went with a friend to a concert, hold in a congregation. It was supposed to be a relaxing evening with music and singing, but it turned out quite the opposite. She experienced something she couldn’t understand. This urges her to start a path into a labyrinth, where she has to find her way. A universal love, so ethereal and strong, it changed her in one moment, becomes the leading thread. The young woman is pulled towards understanding the power rushing through her, even out her hands. When her journey started, she didn’t know of the painful secrets awaiting in the shadows, deep inside her subconscious. Will she find the courage to make the journey into wholeness? Will she continue when everything is shaking around her? How is it possible to heal the unforgivable? Sissel is lead through a deep esoteric path, a soul journey, lead by love itself.

Leseprobe

“A beautiful book, beautifully written and it goes straight to the heart. It is a book about another dimension, of deep love and unity. It leaves a deep impression that gives afterthoughts and contemplation for yourself. Life becomes a before and after, reading this book.”

Anna Margrethe S. Bergvoll, author and Gestalt therapist

“Reading the book gave me renewed faith that my own journey is also important and right, and reassurance that I am not alone in having these thoughts and challenges.”

Iver Daatland, journalist

"I see the book as a tool in, for example, women’s circles. It raises so many nice questions that invite sharing. It provokes and promotes a limited perception of the world. The book invites courage. Courage to listen inwardly, courage to step out, courage to share, and above all courage to be honest.”

Helle True, storyteller

"This is one of the most energetically powerful books I have read. It is as if the energy of God passes into the heart and creates deep recognition at the soul level. The story is like a medicine drink that goes far into the reader’s subconscious and soul. I close the book feeling that I have been touched by angels and held in the most beautiful divine embrace."

Eva Andrea, author and spiritual teacher

Thanks

For this book to be a finished result, some people have been particularly important. Every part of life has its significance, but I want to give recognition to those who have contributed to this story which is now coming out into the public domain.

First and foremost, I want to thank my children. By choosing me as their mother, I honoured the love of knowing from an unconditional reservoir. They made me bring out a strength I didn’t know I had, and have contributed with their love and acceptance of me as who I am.

I also want to thank my parents as they are the direct cause of me being here in this world. It is also through them, and their stories, that I gained the experiences I was meant to have. At the same time, I would also like to thank my children for the unity we have always had and still have. Although we are different by nature, we have profound respect for each other and the love between us is strong. Thank you for always being here.

I would not be where I am today without the help of my skilled and loving shamans. Thank you very much Ynes, David, Laura, Lila, and José. There have been several others with you at times, but you are like family to me. I am eternally grateful for the help in removing the wilderness that had grown large and powerful around me. To find my home I needed the wisdom you imparted.

A big thank you to my mentor Eva Andrea, for her steady guidance through the process. You challenged me to be as open as I am in the book, and you strengthened my belief that it is possible to say things as they are. With your help I found the courage to express my voice. Thank you!

English is not my langue, so it was important to find someone reading through the translation. Through magic coincidence I was guided to the most perfect woman I could encounter. Thank you, Debbie, for all your work and good advice to make this the best book it could be. I’m so grateful for your effort and lovely presence, I couldn’t find anyone better than you!

There have been many people cheering me on in this process, who have backed me up and contributed their faith in the product that was created. Thank you so much to all of you. You know who you are.

On this path

effort never goes to waste,

and there is no failure.

Even a little effort

toward spiritual awareness

will protect you

from the greatest fear.

The Bhagavad Gita

Contents

Anmärkning

Thanks

Epigraph

Prologue

Total Emptiness

Immersed in Love

The Voice of God

Baptised in Fire

The Power of Healing

Caught in the Web of Life

The Spider’s Net

A Window Through Hypnosis

Family Secrets Revealed

The Magical Power of Fragrance

A Visit from the Other Side

Destiny

Guardian Angels

The Jungle

Tambo Number 7

Ayahuasca

Raining Stars

The Treasure Map of Life

The Lanterns Leading the Way

The Anaconda

The Aroma of Love

Dance of the Soul

A Universal Design

Greetings from the Condor

Light as a Feather

A New Guide

Stones of Nacreous

Archangel Michael

Sounds from the Soul

Justice

The Pain of the World

The Living Library

Effervescent Champagne Bubbles

Cleansing Fire

Karma

The Awakening

EPILOGUE

Copyright

Prologue

For the last few months, the voice inside me has been pounding harder and more often. Something is pulling and the uneasiness increases. I know what it is all about. The soul contract before I got into this physical life is going to be fulfilled: to share my healing-journey. The book is going to be written and the right time is approaching fast. It has been on hold for years as if it were to mature. I needed to mature, and now I know that the time is close. I have put it off for a long time, but now it is like I can’t push it in front of me anymore. It is a certainty that I cannot move forward until this step is done. The life behind me has been like an adventurous journey, a story to be shared. When I felt the certainty sink in, I made an appointment with my higher self; I promised that I would write the book if I found a mentor who could walk beside me and mentor me in this difficult task. The book wouldn’t be an ordinary one, I was to open my inside and show it to the world. Scary! It took two weeks. The creative web of synchronicity that the universe weaves never cease to amaze me. Magically and upon sudden impulses she was introduced to my life: Eva Andrea. It couldn’t be just anyone that was obvious, it had to be someone who knew what I wanted to convey. When she showed up, I knew in an instant that it was right, my intuition told me so.

During our first conversation she asked me to do a meditation after we finished our meeting, to bring me in touch with the result. That same evening, I settled into the meditation which she had sent to me, closed my eyes and put on headphones to stop all outside noises. I disappeared deep into my soul as the voice guided me on the journey. The book appeared at the end, it was lit up with shooting stars splashing out of it like fireworks, the range of colours was fascinating against the deep blue night sky that surrounded the book. The voice stopped, but I wasn’t ready to finish so I asked if those who were going to guide me in the writing would come forward. The scene shifted. Now I was walking in the highlands, a place well known to me as it has appeared in many meditations and dreams. The grass is brown and short, no vegetation is to be seen, just high mountains rising in front of me, I sense wide views on both sides as if it is in a mountain pass. On the peaks I see the snow sparkling in the sun and I can feel that the air is clear and crisp, the breeze on my face is sweet, but not cold. A river flows through the area dividing the terrain in two parts. I walk with firm steps in the direction towards it.

I approach the riverbank and sit down. I stick my feet into the water, and I can feel how the water flows quietly between my toes and that it reaches to the middle of my calves. It is as clear as crystal, the bottom of the river is covered with stones in varied sizes. I become aware that I am not alone anymore, and I look up and I see two people walking towards me. As they approach, I recognise Jesus and Mother Mary. They stop a short distance from the riverbank, and I look at them standing side by side without uttering a word. Their gaze is direct, and I feel that they have come to attend the meeting between me and my guides. Then I see three men in monk’s robes approaching and they stop right next to the riverbank. I recognise Rumi and Shakespeare, but I must ask who is the last one. It is John of the Cross; the name comes flowing towards me. I am laughing at the fact that they want to help me in my task, it was totally unexpected.

We talk for a while, Jesus and Mary are still quiet, but their presence is strong. After the conversation I look down at my feet and the stones where they are resting are now far, far away. It is like looking through a portal and I know that it is Mother Earth I see deep down. I notice that the stones are shaped by the water floating constantly where it polishes the sharp edges, I can see that they now have become round and smooth. I know that each stone signifies the burden everyone is carrying, the weight of pain through the loss of connection with themselves and their souls. I look up and notice that I am alone. I get up and stroll back to where I came from, now I am ready to do the work. I know it is going to be tough, what I am going to tell exists beyond words and in between thoughts. The help I need to convey the language I don’t have is in place, and I am making myself vulnerable to both ridicule and mockery, but I know that all is good. The strength which I have acquired through my experiences is strong enough to endure those who don’t understand. I know who I am and that is enough. I am ready to embark on the next chapter of my journey.

Total Emptiness

Ialmost ran out of the assembly hall. The last hour had been one of the hardest and most confusing I had ever experienced, and I couldn’t get out fast enough. The room I fled from was packed with people. “The Troubadors” were very popular and were always playing for a full house. Tonight, there were probably two hundred people attending the concert, as many as the venue could fit. I made myself as small and invisible as I could as I hurried towards the exit. The door I saw in front of me was my rescue and I breathed a sigh of relief when pressing the handle down. What I had experienced during the last hour I didn’t want to experience ever again, I only wanted to go home. The fresh air felt like balm on my face, I was safe. The sun was setting, shining its rays against the treetops with its orange light as I peeked out into freedom. Autumn was about to make its entrance and nature’s beautiful colours were enhanced by the golden light.

I felt as though my blood was freezing in my veins, what was happening? The relief and joy I had expected to flow through me hadn’t come. There were no feelings, not even a tiny sign, it was empty. I looked around and spotted my car: it was going to take me home, I thought, as I slowly began to walk towards it. I could think and act on my thoughts, they were swirling around in my head to see if I could grasp what was happening. Confused, I entered the car. This was absurd, how can everything that is me disappear in one moment? I was transformed into a living robot, an empty shell where everything inside had disappeared. The thoughts were there, I could analyse and rationalise, but everything I identified as me was no more, the body was just a vessel of bones and blood acting on intentions and will. Where was I?

The surroundings were the same as when I had arrived an hour and a half earlier, but everything had changed. I started on my way home to put the kids to bed, they were my excuse for not being able to attend the whole concert. My friend stayed behind, but luckily, I had only promised to be there for an hour, and I was able to sneak out. It had been the hardest hour that I could recall. How was this possible? I was almost thirty-three years old and had had many strange experiences, but this was beyond anything I had ever heard or read about. My mind wandered backwards as the traffic slowly moved forward, I tried to find the feelings of being me by using my memory, but I could not. The void screamed at me as if my inner self had been laid to sleep, I was a body with a head that could think, period.

The day had started like any other day this Thursday early in September 1991. Nothing had prepared me for the fact that before the end of the day my whole existence would have turned around. Life would forever be termed as before and after what was about to happen. For the past five years I had been alone with my two children and life was tough. When I married, I was a nineteen-year-old young girl, education was opted out of, in favour of family life. The weekdays after the divorce had therefore passed in evening school to finish the subjects which I needed to apply for colleges, work during the day, and to take care of the kids. I had finished the subjects I needed, but I hadn’t decided what to choose as a profession. This evening I had envisioned as a pleasant element in my busy life, an evening with singing and music.

What happened had scared the hell out of me and now I was on my way home more confused than ever. To prevent fear from taking over my mind I began to wander backwards in time. After years of focussing on gathering the courage to get out of the marriage, I was left without an education, without a job, and a huge debt. The reason I had married so young was a desperate bid to find love. The last few years of living with my parents had been filled with bickering and discussions between them, and both sought support for their views. Several times my mother took huge overdoses of sedatives or was bedridden. We moved to Spain when I was sixteen years old, and there she could buy the drugs she wanted. I often lay in my bed at night listening to the bickering, anxious that my little sister would wake up and get scared. The big pinecones which my mother picked on her walks I often heard banging on the walls downstairs. All the turmoil and chaos lead me to wanting to escape to some faraway place and never come back.

Now I was on the run again, this time from something I didn’t understand. When my friend had persuaded me to join the concert I had said yes, but only for an hour. I wasn’t interested in religious gatherings, even though I had my childhood faith, and this event was organised by a religious group, she, on the other hand, was looking for a church where she could belong. We had many lively discussions where we exchanged thoughts and opinions within my biggest field of interest: life and death. Our different angles were rewarding, her references from the bible and mine from metaphysical books. I had found books of the Seth material, and I was on fire over all truths that resonated with my way of thinking. The Seth material is a series of books in which Jane Roberts channelled an otherworldly spirit named Seth, in the period from 1963 until her death in 1984, and they became termed as a cornerstone of the new-age philosophy. My friend disagreed with my choice of literature and kept trying to drag me along to meetings whilst I wanted to avoid them. When I was empty of arguments to avoid going this evening, I had capitulated and so I had joined this night’s concert.

My friends mother came in the afternoon to babysit, and when dinner was done, I left my daughter there, as my son wanted to stay with friends. Our girls were the same age and loved playing together, so the argument that I lacked a babysitter was not valid. We arrived some minutes before the concert started and people poured in. The hall filled up quickly, and we ended up in the middle of the congregation. They began to play, one person on the piano and the other with a guitar. Already during the first song I felt the tears pressing behind my eyes, both the lyrics and the music went straight into my heart. Instantly I felt how the words penetrated my heart, as if it had collapsed the wall I had built up through years of suffering. I didn’t know how to keep the tears inside and I clenched my hands together in my lap. I hardly dared to breathe out of fear my crying would come out as convulsive crying.

The words spoke directly to my heart. They revealed everything which I had kept deep inside and locked so far away that even I couldn’t notice the pain and loneliness that was stored, feelings I didn’t consciously know of. I couldn’t understand how it was possible to elicit such a reaction only through a song. I would not break down in the middle of a crowd, whilst the only thing I felt the need to do was to lie down on the floor, curl up and let all my despair out. I closed my eyes firmly and tried as best as I could to shut the emotions down.

During the struggle to stay gathered and united, I felt an energy circulating around me. I knew it wanted to enter, but in this situation, I kept it away. This is a suggestion, I thought, and I certainly didn’t want to honour that. I felt the urge to get up and steer away, and if we hadn’t been in the middle of the row with a lot of people on each side, I think I might have run away. The promise I had given to my friend also held me in place, so I was stuck fighting the tears which wanted to come out and the energy that wanted to get in.

As I was driving home nothing wanted to get either in nor out, everything was quiet and empty except for a jumble of thoughts. Once home I was able to perform all the rituals as normal, supper, chatting, and reading for my youngest daughter in bed. It was always good to end the day listening to all they had to share from their experiences, but this evening I couldn’t be completely present. When both were in bed, I sat down in my living room to think about the strange phenomenon I had experienced. When will I be back? I sat in silence and waited, but nothing happened, the stillness was complete. After a while fear tried to sneak in: what if I was gone forever? The fear crawled up my back by the thought. I am probably back tomorrow when I wake up, I thought to comfort myself. I turned off the lights, locked the doors, and finished my nightly bathroom routine in a hurry to get to sleep as quickly as possible. I got into bed and pulled the covers well over me. What happened next changed my life forever.

Immersed in Love

As soon as I pulled the duvet over my body, I felt the energy from earlier come around me again. This time it came with a deep knowing that it was God. Now that I was lying at home in my own bed, everything was calm and there was no one around, a clarity entered me along with the knowing that it was God. There was no room for doubt, and I knew that I had a choice, it was up to me to allow this energy to enter my body or not. The last few hours of myself being absent swept through my mind; I couldn’t live a life that way, it would only be existence without living. The thought made me terrified, so I said with anxiety in my mind: You better come in then.

The moment that I gave permission, a force started to enter inside me from the soles of my feet and began its movements upwards. It came in waves and was surging with a force that would have knocked me over had I been upright. It went up my calves and continued through the pelvis, abdomen, chest, back, arms, neck, and head. I was left paralysed as it drifted through my whole body again and again. It was like a tidal flood washing over me, and I could feel how it cleansed all my cells one by one. I have never felt such a force either before or since, and have never been so conscious of every cell in my body. It felt as if everything inside the cells was renewed, the contents were switched from dead to living organisms. I felt the cells awakening one by one while the waves washed through them again and again. Without being able to move a finger I just registered how each one of them came back to life, I can’t explain it in any other way. Even thirty years after the experience it is like I am there experiencing it all anew as I write, it becomes alive again as if the time between does not exist.

After all the cells were filled with new life, the waves died down. I thought it was over and took a deep breath as if I had been holding it, but I didn’t even finish the outbreath before it started all over again. It started the same way, but now the force was made of love. This love had a fullness and a richness in it that cannot be described, like an ecstasy multiplied by a thousand. It bounced through me again and again like a tidal wave with no end. Each cell was filled with this love as if it were leaving itself behind. I just knew that this was not something created, this love is what it has always been and always will be. Without a doubt I knew that this was the substance I was made of, that we all are made of, and that which gives life. All life is created in this power of love, and it is from this substance that all life emerges, not just humans, all life is inside this and created by it.

When my freshly cleansed cells were filled in abundance by this joyful ecstasy, a vision opened. I was shown how the force gushed out of my heart and filled the room I was lying in before it spread outwards. The whole house was enclosed or existed inside this force. I could see my children sleeping in it, the force was inside them, and they were in it, it looked like everything in the house existed in a living wave. It continued enveloping the garden, the grass, the rocks, the fence, the neighbours, nothing existed outside of the force of love. I saw how it spread to the whole neighbourhood where my ex-husband lived. He did everything he could to thwart the visitor agreement we had committed to about the children, and he refused to cooperate so that I could work one night a week. It had led to many difficulties which could have been avoided. Even he was in this love, and it was okay. It was just how it was, and I knew that all was fine. I was shown how the force of love extended beyond and enveloped the city I lived in, the country, the continent, and the whole world, it was in everything that existed, nothing was outside of it.

Here existed stones, trees, houses, people, and animals, and I saw myself smaller than a little grain of sand, but I still had the same power as the one I felt washing through me. This was the substance that bound it all together, and it consisted of pure love. I knew that this was God, it wasn’t something I wondered or assumed; this was pure full assurance. When I saw the stream flooding out from my heart and finally covering the entire globe, it was shown as a kind of fog-like, white matter, but completely transparent. It was around everything that is, and it was inside everything that is, everything was included, or rather everything existed in it. As I laughed inside me at what was being shown, I felt all my worries fading away. All that was important, all that was true, was this existence of pure love: period. When this force covered the entire earth and began to ascend towards the universe, the vision disappeared, and the waves stopped. A complete silence surrounded me.

I was left lying in my bed looking at the ceiling. Everything in me was silent: total silence. Even the thoughts were absent. A tiny feeling swept around; what happened? What was this? There were no words to use, nothing I could compare it to. I was left with a feeling of being - forever - always. There was no time. The body, the bed I was lying in, the world that I lived in, everything was just there. Peace. Never had I experienced such all-consuming peace. I wanted to be here forever, consumed by it, and never leave. A door had opened that I hadn’t known was closed, and I didn’t want to leave this presence. Eventually I drifted into a kind of sleep.

The Voice of God

My first thought the next morning when I awoke was about what had happened last night whilst feeling the love vibrating as if my skin had come to life. I swung my legs out of bed and almost floated out of the room, it was like the floor had turned into cotton and I had wings which carried me forward. On my way to wake up the children to get them ready for school, I thought of how much I love them and abruptly stopped. Love poured out of my heart like a river. I had never experienced anything like it, as if the love that previously had come from my head as a thought, now came like a physical waterfall from my heart directly towards them. I could see the stream coming out of me swaying around both children, it was like it was being steered towards them through my focus. I was the reason that love could envelop them and penetrate their cells at this moment, and it was bottomless and eternal.

Amazed, I was left standing while this was going on, and I realised that I was experiencing genuine love for the first time in my life. This wasn’t something I could think of or create, this living river of love was what I had allowed to enter last night, and which had activated all my cells. This is God, I thought, this is what God is. He had its own consciousness, and He knew everything. My body tingled and pulsed, and it felt like I was immersed in the energy that was pouring from my heart. All day I walked around as if in a cocoon of joy and I couldn’t even feel the ground I was stepping on, it was as if I was floating forward with light dancing feet. This continued for several months afterwards. From being full of worry about the future, depressed and with a lousy self-image, to fully knowing that everything was as it should be. I smiled as much as every cell in my body.

After work and dinner were done this new day, I sat down on the couch present within this new being that I had become, I heard a voice inside me telling me to study nursing. It came as a gentle breeze, but the message was unmistakable. Oh no, I thought, that was the last thing that I wanted. My friend was a nurse and we had discussed it a few times. She thought that it must be the perfect profession for me, but I didn’t agree. The thought of being part of surgeries or of seeing open wounds made my spine get cold. As a highly sensitive person I didn’t like to be close to people who were hurting, I felt their pains as if they were my own, and it drained me quickly. No, the nursing profession was not for me.

As I sat on the couch, I had no doubt that this was the way I was supposed to go, the voice left a certainty that I couldn’t shake off. Not only did it tell me what to study, it also left a message about which college I was going to attend. Oh no, not that one, I thought, it was nearby. I had been trying to sell the townhouse we lived in for a long time to get away from my ex-husband. He tried to make life difficult for me, as previously mentioned, and he was not a good father to the kids. My thought was that it would be easier for them to be far away, than to live near someone who wasn’t there for them. With the certainty that came in it didn’t look like there would be a move over the next few years, at least not far from here. I remembered the certainty I had the night before when I saw the power spread around the neighbourhood, and the voice lingered in my mind: “everything is as it should be, and all is well.” Okay, I thought and capitulated, I will apply and see what happens. It was not possible to argue with this power, the all consuming certainty, this is what I had to do.

It was already September so I thought that the deadline to apply would be March/April, starting next autumn. The next day I learned that this school had opened for a new class next January. The deadline was the following week, so I was just in time to apply. The universe had everything under control. Everyone said that it was difficult to get in and that there were always several hundred applications to the forty places that were available. We needed to have top marks in every subject, in addition to extra points to be considered. I didn’t understand how this could be arranged even though I had good grades, to get extra points I had to have worked in health care, something I had never even considered. I sent the application thinking that I would just leave everything to God. I couldn’t get past the message from Him, and I was raised to obedience. Just in case, I also sent an application to some other schools far away. If I got admitted to one of them then I would have to move, but who can change something decided by God Himself? I felt like a naughty little girl who tried her powers, stubborn as a mare. I got admitted to the school I was told I was going to do my studies and I received rejections from the others. Of course, when something is decided at top level it will be so.

Baptised in Fire

After going to bed that night I was left dwelling on the previous night’s event. The power of love that came in the night before vibrated strongly, it felt as though the cells were like living organisms. The vision of the stream flowing through everything appeared, and I wondered what happened as it went further out into the cosmos. The questions buzzed around in my head like bees in a hive, but who could answer them? I had never heard of anything like this, and we had neither google nor youtube at the time. I gently sent out a little thought: Jesus, were you participating last night? Something began to tingle around my body. I sent out a stronger thought: Jesus, are you there, and the tingling became more powerful. I sent out the question with more and more force, and each time I felt the tingling getting stronger, so I started saying it out loud and it increased even more. In the end it became so strong I had to sit up in bed with joy rippling and flowing through my whole being. I began to wave my arms and sway my body as I was not able to resist the strong waves of joy, dancing and laughing as the feeling escalated inside.

The tingling and hissing were so intense that I got dizzy as if I was drunk, which made me laugh even more. Thinking that if someone saw me now, they would put me in the psychiatric ward immediately caused another laugh to bubble up, I felt sorry for those who didn’t experience the feelings I now had. After a few moments it calmed down and I was able to lie back under the covers while my eyes were as wide as saucers looking up at the ceiling. What was this? There was no doubt that Jesus was present, but what did it mean? Who exactly was Jesus? The only thing that I knew about him were the stories I had been told when I attended the Sunday-school held in our church and at school, it was quite another thing to experience this close contact. Who could I ask, who knew about such experiences? I wanted a physical person who could answer all the questions that were buzzing around in my head. I couldn’t sleep for a long time dwelling on the feeling of complete joy and in a state of being totally present in the now. My mind couldn’t penetrate the feeling of peace while I slipped into sleep. The sleeping pills which I had needed before were not on my mind, the worries that used to keep me awake didn’t exist where I was now.

The time that followed was good, something had fundamentally changed inside. My whole body was constantly tingling and vibrating, and it felt as if I was walking on air for many weeks afterwards. My friend kept asking about the feelings I had after the incident. She told me after the concert that she had felt the energy coming around me, and that she knew it was for me and not for her, so she was excited to hear what had happened. When she heard about my second experience she spontaneously exclaimed; “Oh, you were filled by the Holy Spirit.” I had heard about the phenomenon but had no idea what it would mean. She found some verses in the bible in which the disciples described their experiences of being filled with the Holy Spirit, and there it said that the disciples had felt drunk from it. In several places it also said that they were baptised in fire and water which made me sit like a question mark looking at her.

There were many similarities to what I had experienced, and I had certainly felt like I had been drunk when I sat waving my arms and laughing in bed. Would this be possible? Could it really have been the Holy Spirit who came upon me? I couldn’t quite believe it, not for little me. What was in the bible happened then, and this couldn’t happen in real life, right? How could I find answers? I wondered a lot about the events that had followed each other and prayed every night for help to find answers, but there was silence. After all those powerful experiences in which both physical and visual aspects were involved, the silence now was overwhelming. I had to find the answers and I wanted the truth. The library was my rescue, and I began to scrutinise what I found in esoteric books. No one could tell of similar events, but it was interesting to read philosophical musings from old and new masters. Historical figures such as Socrates and Plato captivated me, and I wondered how they found the wisdom they possessed. My interest in the human mind and development increased, and the Seth material was brought out on a regular basis. There I found many answers to my metaphysical questions, although it did not give me answers to the experiences I had gone through.

A few months after these events, I was at my friend’s house for an evening chat. We often met before the children had to go to bed, and we sat in the living room with our coffee cups while the girls were outside playing. After a while she asked gently: “could you try to put your hands on my shoulders and ask if what you feel can be passed onto me?” She wanted to physically feel what I was talking about. The tingling was still vibrating in my body, as if a living anthill had been established in there, and the activity was constant. I replied that we could give it a try, but I could not promise any result. As I said, so I did, I put my hands on her shoulders and prayed that the feelings inside me would be transmitted if possible. The moment I asked, a stream of fire started, it entered the crown chakra, went down my head and neck, through my shoulders and arms, and finally out through both of my hands. This time too, it came in waves, but now the waves consisted of pure fire, they came from above and didn’t start below the feet like last time. It burned all the way, and I was left standing glued to the floor, not able to move a muscle until it stopped. While it was going on I got a message: “This is for later in life, it is not for now.” It took a long time before it finally gave way.

As I removed my hands from her shoulders, she turned and looked at me with big open eyes: “I am glad you took your hands away, because my spine is on fire.” I understood just as little as the last time when the force had come through, and I was completely dumbfounded with surprise. She later told me that she had checked the places where I had held my hands, and she had seen red marks from where I had my hands, they had lasted for days. Once again, I was speechless. Phenomena which no one could explain had turned upside down all my ideas of what was possible, I didn’t understand anything. My previous beliefs about the world and what it is, were just a mishmash of questions, the only thing I was sure of was that there was something here that was real and that could not be seen with the mere eyes.

I also knew that God was true, he was alive, I didn’t have a shadow of a doubt about that. When the force came the first time it entered with the knowledge of where it had come from: from creation itself, and I also knew that Jesus was involved in some way, but there my thoughts were mixed. The church had in a way taken ownership of him, and there were so many condemnations and dogmas that I couldn’t agree with. How could I find the truth? There was no one in my circle of acquaintances who had had similar experiences, and those I tried to talk to about it just looked at me with questions in their eyes. My friend and neighbour was worth her weight in gold, even though she couldn’t help me with the answers. She understood as little as I did, but we both loved the discussions about the spiritual and metaphysical world.

The Power of Healing

After these events, I began to lay my hands on friends and acquaintances to see if it had any effect. All of them reported headaches and neck pain that had disappeared, and they all reported that a deep relaxing calm came over them. On a few occasions I received feedback that severe migraine attacks had disappeared, and everyone just wanted to lie down and rest as soon as I took my hands away. All of this piqued my curiosity, and I began to read all I could find about healing. As soon as the opportunity came, and my economy allowed it, I joined weekend courses in meditation and healing.

The first one that I attended was very special. I had heard that a well-known English healer, Matthew Manning, was going to have a workshop in the neighbouring town, and I signed up. It was a powerful experience. In addition to teaching and meditation, he gave us healing while we sat in circles and held hands. He walked around and put his hands on our shoulders, explaining that the energy would flow around to everyone all the time. During healing the second day, we were about thirty people in the group, he started with me. It didn’t take long before I felt the woman on my left side starting to lift her right arm in the air. I gently pulled it back down, but it bounced up again at once. Poor girl, I thought, she must have a lot of tension inside. When Matthew finished the round, I suddenly felt his hands on me one more time. The heat spread like fire down my spine and I burst into tears. It happened so fast that I couldn’t react with my usual response, to shut down. I sat in the middle of a pile of people who could see me, and I sobbed and cried like a child, it was embarrassing. The desire for the famous hole to come and devour me was huge, but there was nothing to do but let the storm ride out, his healing-powers were stronger than my will.

The next day, the last day of the course, I was still exhausted and wanted to be as anonymous as possible. I sat down in the back row where I rested while listening to what he was conveying. Suddenly I felt a lightning bolt going through me, I recognised him. Four years earlier I had had a dream where I had woken up inside the dream. There I looked towards the end of the bed where I could see a man looking at me. Even though I didn’t know him, I wasn’t afraid, and there was love throughout the room flooding and vibrating.