The Cricket on the Hearth
The Cricket on the HearthCHAPTER I—Chirp the FirstCHAPTER II—Chirp the SecondCHAPTER III—Chirp the ThirdCopyright
The Cricket on the Hearth
Charles Dickens
CHAPTER I—Chirp the First
The kettle began it! Don’t tell me what Mrs.
Peerybingle said. I know better. Mrs. Peerybingle may
leave it on record to the end of time that she couldn’t say which
of them began it; but, I say the kettle did. I ought to know,
I hope! The kettle began it, full five minutes by the little
waxy-faced Dutch clock in the corner, before the Cricket uttered a
chirp.As if the clock hadn’t finished striking, and the convulsive
little Haymaker at the top of it, jerking away right and left with
a scythe in front of a Moorish Palace, hadn’t mowed down half an
acre of imaginary grass before the Cricket joined in at
all!Why, I am not naturally positive. Every one knows
that. I wouldn’t set my own opinion against the opinion of
Mrs. Peerybingle, unless I were quite sure, on any account
whatever. Nothing should induce me. But, this is a
question of fact. And the fact is, that the kettle began it,
at least five minutes before the Cricket gave any sign of being in
existence. Contradict me, and I’ll say ten.Let me narrate exactly how it happened. I should have
proceeded to do so in my very first word, but for this plain
consideration—if I am to tell a story I must begin at the
beginning; and how is it possible to begin at the beginning,
without beginning at the kettle?It appeared as if there were a sort of match, or trial of
skill, you must understand, between the kettle and the
Cricket. And this is what led to it, and how it came
about.Mrs. Peerybingle, going out into the raw twilight, and
clicking over the wet stones in a pair of pattens that worked
innumerable rough impressions of the first proposition in Euclid
all about the yard—Mrs. Peerybingle filled the kettle at the
water-butt. Presently returning, less the pattens (and a good
deal less, for they were tall and Mrs. Peerybingle was but short),
she set the kettle on the fire. In doing which she lost her
temper, or mislaid it for an instant; for, the water being
uncomfortably cold, and in that slippy, slushy, sleety sort of
state wherein it seems to penetrate through every kind of
substance, patten rings included—had laid hold of Mrs.
Peerybingle’s toes, and even splashed her legs. And when we
rather plume ourselves (with reason too) upon our legs, and keep
ourselves particularly neat in point of stockings, we find this,
for the moment, hard to bear.Besides, the kettle was aggravating and obstinate. It
wouldn’t allow itself to be adjusted on the top bar; it wouldn’t
hear of accommodating itself kindly to the knobs of coal; itwouldlean forward with a drunken air,
and dribble, a very Idiot of a kettle, on the hearth. It was
quarrelsome, and hissed and spluttered morosely at the fire.
To sum up all, the lid, resisting Mrs. Peerybingle’s fingers, first
of all turned topsy-turvy, and then, with an ingenious pertinacity
deserving of a better cause, dived sideways in—down to the very
bottom of the kettle. And the hull of the Royal George has
never made half the monstrous resistance to coming out of the
water, which the lid of that kettle employed against Mrs.
Peerybingle, before she got it up again.It looked sullen and pig-headed enough, even then; carrying
its handle with an air of defiance, and cocking its spout pertly
and mockingly at Mrs. Peerybingle, as if it said, ‘I won’t
boil. Nothing shall induce me!’But Mrs. Peerybingle, with restored good humour, dusted her
chubby little hands against each other, and sat down before the
kettle, laughing. Meantime, the jolly blaze uprose and fell,
flashing and gleaming on the little Haymaker at the top of the
Dutch clock, until one might have thought he stood stock still
before the Moorish Palace, and nothing was in motion but the
flame.He was on the move, however; and had his spasms, two to the
second, all right and regular. But, his sufferings when the
clock was going to strike, were frightful to behold; and, when a
Cuckoo looked out of a trap-door in the Palace, and gave note six
times, it shook him, each time, like a spectral voice—or like a
something wiry, plucking at his legs.It was not until a violent commotion and a whirring noise
among the weights and ropes below him had quite subsided, that this
terrified Haymaker became himself again. Nor was he startled
without reason; for these rattling, bony skeletons of clocks are
very disconcerting in their operation, and I wonder very much how
any set of men, but most of all how Dutchmen, can have had a liking
to invent them. There is a popular belief that Dutchmen love
broad cases and much clothing for their own lower selves; and they
might know better than to leave their clocks so very lank and
unprotected, surely.Now it was, you observe, that the kettle began to spend the
evening. Now it was, that the kettle, growing mellow and
musical, began to have irrepressible gurglings in its throat, and
to indulge in short vocal snorts, which it checked in the bud, as
if it hadn’t quite made up its mind yet, to be good company.
Now it was, that after two or three such vain attempts to stifle
its convivial sentiments, it threw off all moroseness, all reserve,
and burst into a stream of song so cosy and hilarious, as never
maudlin nightingale yet formed the least idea of.So plain too! Bless you, you might have understood it
like a book—better than some books you and I could name,
perhaps. With its warm breath gushing forth in a light cloud
which merrily and gracefully ascended a few feet, then hung about
the chimney-corner as its own domestic Heaven, it trolled its song
with that strong energy of cheerfulness, that its iron body hummed
and stirred upon the fire; and the lid itself, the recently
rebellious lid—such is the influence of a bright example—performed
a sort of jig, and clattered like a deaf and dumb young cymbal that
had never known the use of its twin brother.That this song of the kettle’s was a song of invitation and
welcome to somebody out of doors: to somebody at that moment coming
on, towards the snug small home and the crisp fire: there is no
doubt whatever. Mrs. Peerybingle knew it, perfectly, as she
sat musing before the hearth. It’s a dark night, sang the
kettle, and the rotten leaves are lying by the way; and, above, all
is mist and darkness, and, below, all is mire and clay; and there’s
only one relief in all the sad and murky air; and I don’t know that
it is one, for it’s nothing but a glare; of deep and angry crimson,
where the sun and wind together; set a brand upon the clouds for
being guilty of such weather; and the widest open country is a long
dull streak of black; and there’s hoar-frost on the finger-post,
and thaw upon the track; and the ice it isn’t water, and the water
isn’t free; and you couldn’t say that anything is what it ought to
be; but he’s coming, coming, coming!—And here, if you like, the Cricket DID chime in! with a
Chirrup, Chirrup, Chirrup of such magnitude, by way of chorus; with
a voice so astoundingly disproportionate to its size, as compared
with the kettle; (size! you couldn’t see it!) that if it had then
and there burst itself like an overcharged gun, if it had fallen a
victim on the spot, and chirruped its little body into fifty
pieces, it would have seemed a natural and inevitable consequence,
for which it had expressly laboured.The kettle had had the last of its solo performance. It
persevered with undiminished ardour; but the Cricket took first
fiddle and kept it. Good Heaven, how it chirped! Its
shrill, sharp, piercing voice resounded through the house, and
seemed to twinkle in the outer darkness like a star. There
was an indescribable little trill and tremble in it, at its
loudest, which suggested its being carried off its legs, and made
to leap again, by its own intense enthusiasm. Yet they went
very well together, the Cricket and the kettle. The burden of
the song was still the same; and louder, louder, louder still, they
sang it in their emulation.The fair little listener—for fair she was, and young: though
something of what is called the dumpling shape; but I don’t myself
object to that—lighted a candle, glanced at the Haymaker on the top
of the clock, who was getting in a pretty average crop of minutes;
and looked out of the window, where she saw nothing, owing to the
darkness, but her own face imaged in the glass. And my
opinion is (and so would yours have been), that she might have
looked a long way, and seen nothing half so agreeable. When
she came back, and sat down in her former seat, the Cricket and the
kettle were still keeping it up, with a perfect fury of
competition. The kettle’s weak side clearly being, that he
didn’t know when he was beat.There was all the excitement of a race about it. Chirp,
chirp, chirp! Cricket a mile ahead. Hum, hum,
hum—m—m! Kettle making play in the distance, like a great
top. Chirp, chirp, chirp! Cricket round the
corner. Hum, hum, hum—m—m! Kettle sticking to him in
his own way; no idea of giving in. Chirp, chirp, chirp!
Cricket fresher than ever. Hum, hum, hum—m—m! Kettle
slow and steady. Chirp, chirp, chirp! Cricket going in
to finish him. Hum, hum, hum—m—m! Kettle not to be
finished. Until at last they got so jumbled together, in the
hurry-skurry, helter-skelter, of the match, that whether the kettle
chirped and the Cricket hummed, or the Cricket chirped and the
kettle hummed, or they both chirped and both hummed, it would have
taken a clearer head than yours or mine to have decided with
anything like certainty. But, of this, there is no doubt:
that, the kettle and the Cricket, at one and the same moment, and
by some power of amalgamation best known to themselves, sent, each,
his fireside song of comfort streaming into a ray of the candle
that shone out through the window, and a long way down the
lane. And this light, bursting on a certain person who, on
the instant, approached towards it through the gloom, expressed the
whole thing to him, literally in a twinkling, and cried, ‘Welcome
home, old fellow! Welcome home, my boy!’This end attained, the kettle, being dead beat, boiled over,
and was taken off the fire. Mrs. Peerybingle then went
running to the door, where, what with the wheels of a cart, the
tramp of a horse, the voice of a man, the tearing in and out of an
excited dog, and the surprising and mysterious appearance of a
baby, there was soon the very What’s-his-name to pay.Where the baby came from, or how Mrs. Peerybingle got hold of
it in that flash of time,Idon’t know. But a live baby there was, in Mrs.
Peerybingle’s arms; and a pretty tolerable amount of pride she
seemed to have in it, when she was drawn gently to the fire, by a
sturdy figure of a man, much taller and much older than herself,
who had to stoop a long way down, to kiss her. But she was
worth the trouble. Six foot six, with the lumbago, might have
done it.
‘Oh goodness, John!’ said Mrs. P. ‘What a state you are
in with the weather!’He was something the worse for it, undeniably. The
thick mist hung in clots upon his eyelashes like candied thaw; and
between the fog and fire together, there were rainbows in his very
whiskers.
‘Why, you see, Dot,’ John made answer, slowly, as he unrolled
a shawl from about his throat; and warmed his hands; ‘it—it an’t
exactly summer weather. So, no wonder.’
‘I wish you wouldn’t call me Dot, John. I don’t like
it,’ said Mrs. Peerybingle: pouting in a way that clearly showed
shedidlike it, very
much.
‘Why what else are you?’ returned John, looking down upon her
with a smile, and giving her waist as light a squeeze as his huge
hand and arm could give. ‘A dot and’—here he glanced at the
baby—‘a dot and carry—I won’t say it, for fear I should spoil it;
but I was very near a joke. I don’t know as ever I was
nearer.’He was often near to something or other very clever, by his
own account: this lumbering, slow, honest John; this John so heavy,
but so light of spirit; so rough upon the surface, but so gentle at
the core; so dull without, so quick within; so stolid, but so
good! Oh Mother Nature, give thy children the true poetry of
heart that hid itself in this poor Carrier’s breast—he was but a
Carrier by the way—and we can bear to have them talking prose, and
leading lives of prose; and bear to bless thee for their
company!It was pleasant to see Dot, with her little figure, and her
baby in her arms: a very doll of a baby: glancing with a coquettish
thoughtfulness at the fire, and inclining her delicate little head
just enough on one side to let it rest in an odd, half-natural,
half-affected, wholly nestling and agreeable manner, on the great
rugged figure of the Carrier. It was pleasant to see him,
with his tender awkwardness, endeavouring to adapt his rude support
to her slight need, and make his burly middle-age a leaning-staff
not inappropriate to her blooming youth. It was pleasant to
observe how Tilly Slowboy, waiting in the background for the baby,
took special cognizance (though in her earliest teens) of this
grouping; and stood with her mouth and eyes wide open, and her head
thrust forward, taking it in as if it were air. Nor was it
less agreeable to observe how John the Carrier, reference being
made by Dot to the aforesaid baby, checked his hand when on the
point of touching the infant, as if he thought he might crack it;
and bending down, surveyed it from a safe distance, with a kind of
puzzled pride, such as an amiable mastiff might be supposed to
show, if he found himself, one day, the father of a young
canary.
‘An’t he beautiful, John? Don’t he look precious in his
sleep?’
‘Very precious,’ said John. ‘Very much so. He
generallyisasleep, an’t
he?’
‘Lor, John! Good gracious no!’
‘Oh,’ said John, pondering. ‘I thought his eyes was
generally shut. Halloa!’
‘Goodness, John, how you startle one!’
‘It an’t right for him to turn ’em up in that way!’ said the
astonished Carrier, ‘is it? See how he’s winking with both of
’em at once! And look at his mouth! Why he’s gasping
like a gold and silver fish!’
‘You don’t deserve to be a father, you don’t,’ said Dot, with
all the dignity of an experienced matron. ‘But how should you
know what little complaints children are troubled with, John!
You wouldn’t so much as know their names, you stupid fellow.’
And when she had turned the baby over on her left arm, and had
slapped its back as a restorative, she pinched her husband’s ear,
laughing.
‘No,’ said John, pulling off his outer coat. ‘It’s very
true, Dot. I don’t know much about it. I only know that
I’ve been fighting pretty stiffly with the wind to-night.
It’s been blowing north-east, straight into the cart, the whole way
home.’
‘Poor old man, so it has!’ cried Mrs. Peerybingle, instantly
becoming very active. ‘Here! Take the precious darling,
Tilly, while I make myself of some use. Bless it, I could
smother it with kissing it, I could! Hie then, good
dog! Hie, Boxer, boy! Only let me make the tea first,
John; and then I’ll help you with the parcels, like a busy
bee. “How doth the little”—and all the rest of it, you know,
John. Did you ever learn “how doth the little,” when you went
to school, John?’
‘Not to quite know it,’ John returned. ‘I was very near
it once. But I should only have spoilt it, I dare
say.’
‘Ha ha,’ laughed Dot. She had the blithest little laugh
you ever heard. ‘What a dear old darling of a dunce you are,
John, to be sure!’Not at all disputing this position, John went out to see that
the boy with the lantern, which had been dancing to and fro before
the door and window, like a Will of the Wisp, took due care of the
horse; who was fatter than you would quite believe, if I gave you
his measure, and so old that his birthday was lost in the mists of
antiquity. Boxer, feeling that his attentions were due to the
family in general, and must be impartially distributed, dashed in
and out with bewildering inconstancy; now, describing a circle of
short barks round the horse, where he was being rubbed down at the
stable-door; now feigning to make savage rushes at his mistress,
and facetiously bringing himself to sudden stops; now, eliciting a
shriek from Tilly Slowboy, in the low nursing-chair near the fire,
by the unexpected application of his moist nose to her countenance;
now, exhibiting an obtrusive interest in the baby; now, going round
and round upon the hearth, and lying down as if he had established
himself for the night; now, getting up again, and taking that
nothing of a fag-end of a tail of his, out into the weather, as if
he had just remembered an appointment, and was off, at a round
trot, to keep it.
‘There! There’s the teapot, ready on the hob!’ said
Dot; as briskly busy as a child at play at keeping house.
‘And there’s the old knuckle of ham; and there’s the butter; and
there’s the crusty loaf, and all! Here’s the clothes-basket
for the small parcels, John, if you’ve got any there—where are you,
John?’
‘Don’t let the dear child fall under the grate, Tilly,
whatever you do!’