White Petals E-Book

Maria Grace

• Herausgeber: Firefly Press Ltd
• Kategorie: Für Kinder und Jugendliche
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2015

Seitenzahl: 347

Beschreibung

Emmeline's life falls apart when her mother is sectioned and she has to live in a care home, away from her sister. With only her lucky cardigan for comfort, she has to find her way, making new friends, bullied in school and haunted by a dream of white petals. Has she inherited her grandmother's second sight or her mother's delusions. Why does Stacey hate her so much. As everything changes, who can she really rely on?

Leseprobe

Contents

DedicationTitle PageONETWOTHREEFOURFIVESIXSEVENEIGHTNINETENELEVENTWELVETHIRTEENFOURTEENFIFTEENSIXTEENSEVENTEENEIGHTEENNINETEENTWENTYTWENTY-ONETWENTY-TWOTWENTY-THREETWENTY-FOURTWENTY-FIVETWENTY-SIXTWENTY-SEVENTWENTY-EIGHTTWENTY-NINETHIRTYTHIRTY-ONETHIRTY-TWOTHIRTY-THREETHIRTY-FOURTHIRTY-FIVETHIRTY-SIXTHIRTY-SEVENCHAPTER HEADINGSAUTHOR'S ACKNOWLEDGEMENTSCOPYRIGHTAdvert

For Charla

For the readers & dreamers

For Emmelines everywhere

Maria Grace was born in Caerphilly, South Wales. She studied Creative & Professional Writing at university, and graduated with first-class honours. She enjoys walks on the beach, afternoon tea, reading good books and watching bad telly. She now lives in Pontypridd with her daughter, her partner and her shih-tzu Bella.White Petalsis her debut novel.www.mariagrace.co.uk

Publisher’s note:

The illustrations at the beginning of each chapter are all drawn by artists aged 11-18 who entered ourWhite Petalscompetition. The winners are listed at the back of the book. A huge thanks to them and to all the excellent young artists who entered the competition.

WHITE PETALS

MARIA GRACE

ONE

I walked up the garden path, stepping over the bits of broken glass on the ground. Like them, I felt shattered. But I realised I wasn’t scared. When the thing you fear most happens, you can actually be quite brave. The worst was over now.

She was safe. We were safe. That’s all that mattered. I could hear the sirens in the background, fading out into the crisp October air.

My social worker, Mel, put my bag in the boot of her car and turned to Grandma Coalman. ‘Are you sure you’re going to be OK, Anna?’ she asked.

‘I’ll befine!’ Grandma Coalman answered in her too-high voice, which meant that she really wasn’t fine at all. ‘I would just like the girls to stay with me, that’s all. I don’t see what the problem is.’

‘Anna, we’ve been over this,’ said Mel. ‘If it was my choice, of course I would let them stay with you. But it’s not my choice. We have to stick to the rules, and the rules say that three people can’t stay in a bungalow with just one bedroom.’

‘Ballsto the rules!’ Grandma Coalman stamped her foot and tears started to roll down her face. ‘They aremygrandchildren! If their mother isn’t going to be here, then I should be. If my son was alive, this wouldn’t be happening. He was their father and he would never allow it.’

Mel put her arm around her, and for a second Grandma Coalman submitted to the comfort. ‘I just feel sohelp-less.’

‘I know,’ Mel consoled. ‘But I swear to you, Anna, I will make sure the girls are looked after. And I will bring them to see you every week, without fail. Just give them a couple of days to settle in, and then I’ll get them to ring you, OK?’

Grandma Coalman nodded her head sadly.

I looked across at my little sister, Freya. Her foster family were helping to get her bags in their car, ready for the move. I knew that she would be OK because she’d been visiting Bill and Nora’s house for a long time now–it was like a second home to her. She’d been there every month since my dad died. And she had Lola – Bill and Nora’s foster-daughter – to play with while she was there.

I was too old to go with her, apparently. Respite was mainly for the little ones, Mel said. And besides, they only had enough room for two kids. I understood, but I wished they’d had room for me too.

‘Em!’ Freya ran to me, excited. ‘Bill and Nora said that I can Skype you tomorrow! So it will be like we’re in the same room!’

‘Cool!’ I did my best fake smile.

‘How long will we be away from each other this time?’ asked Freya. ‘Will it be like a holiday again or will it be longer?’

‘I think it’s going to be a bit longer this time, Freya,’ I replied. ‘But that’s OK, isn’t it? It will give us a chance to get the house all fixed up for us to move back in again. Like new.’

‘Yeah, I s’pose.’ Freya looked at the mess around us. ‘What happened, Em? Youcan tell me. I’m not ababy, you know!’

‘I know that! You’re almost as tall as me!’ I measured her against me as I shrunk myself to be as short as I could get. She stood on tippy toes to reach my height.

‘Well, tell me what happened then.’

‘Oi!’ Grandma Coalman saved me from the interrogation. ‘Itold you what happened, Missy!’

Freya laughed out loud. ‘Gram!That story isn’t true.’

‘It is!’ Grandma Coalman protested. ‘Ask Bill and Nora. They’ll tell you.’

Freya looked over to Bill and Nora, and they both nodded in solidarity with Grandma Coalman. Then she looked at Mel, who also nodded. Finally, she looked at me. I dutifully nodded to show that I too believed the story. Even though I knew it wasn’t right.

Freya turned to Lola. ‘Lola, do you want to know happened to my house?’ she asked.

‘What?’ Lola looked wide-eyed at Freya, waiting for the revelation.

‘Grandma Coalman says that alionescaped from the zoo!’ Freya snarled for dramatic effect as she spoke. ‘My mum was cooking beef for dinner, and because the lion was hungry, it could smell the beef from fifty miles away! So it made its way here – to my house.’

Lola gasped in shock, loving the danger.

‘Andthen…’ Freya paced slowly, milking every word. ‘The lionJUMPEDthrough our front window, ran all the way through the house and brokeEVERYTHING!’

‘That must be why there’s glass on your garden path!’ shouted Lola, pointing at the broken glass from the front-room window.

Freya nodded proudly at the evidence. ‘And then my mumwrestledthe lion to the ground, likeTarzan of the Jungle. She managed to tie its paws together until the RSPCA came to take it back to the zoo, but now she’s had to go into hospital for a little while so the doctors can make sure she’s OK. It’s not every day that you wrestle alion,you know.’

‘WOW!’ Lola clapped her hands together for Freya’s mum – the hero.

Freya beamed with pride.

Lola’s eyebrows lowered as she thought carefully and asked, ‘What happened to the beef?’

Freya and Lola both looked to Grandma Coalman.

‘Unfortunately, your mum wasn’t able to save the beef,’ Grandma Coalman said in her most sympathetic voice. ‘But it’s OK. It’s on offer for half-price at Tesco, so I’ll just buy some more.’

Bill and Nora got the girls into the car and Freya wound down the back window to say goodbye. I leant inside and kissed her forehead, promising I’d speak to her on Skype the following day.

I waved to my little sister as the car drove away, and as it disappeared out of sight, the entire contents of my stomach felt like they were going to come out of my mouth or out of my backside.That’show stressed I was.

I walked around the side of the garden and closed my eyes.

When I opened them, I was faced again with the carnage my mother had so kindly left behind today. As I tried to absorb everything that had happened, I caught sight of our old rose bush in the corner of the garden, looking as pitiful as I felt.

It used to grow the most amazing white roses I had ever seen. But since Dad passed away, not even the tiniest buds had graced its branches. What was once a burst of white petals, was now just …thorns.

‘Right then, kiddo.’ Mel opened her car door for me. ‘Are you ready to go?’

I hugged Grandma Coalman tightly. I could feel her shaking a little, and guilt brought tears to my eyes.

Hold it together, Em. Don’t let her see you upset. She has enough on her plate as it is.

‘Ring me tomorrow, OK?’ Grandma Coalman held my face and kissed my cheeks.

‘OK,’ I replied.

‘I’m so sorry that I can’t keep you both with me,’ Grandma Coalman said, ‘but Mel says that the bungalow isn’t big enough, and that I’m tooold.’

‘Anna!’ Mel shouted. ‘I did not say that you were too old!’

‘That’s what youmeant.’ Grandma Coalman scowled at Mel.

‘I’ll be fine,Gram,’ I reassured her. ‘Honestly!’

I sat in the back seat of the car. Mel got in and switched on the engine.

Grandma Coalman started to wave goodbye, but something to the left caught her eye and her face hardened.

I turned to see what she was looking at.

Stood on the pavement were Zoe-two-doors-up and her niece, Stacey Lock.

They both smirked at me and Grandma Coalman. They were clearly pleased with the chaos of the afternoon. It would give them something to tweet about.

Great. The last thing I needed was Stacey Lock knowing my business. She wasn’t exactly the kind of person who kept things to herself, and she always relished the chance to embarrass me in any way. The entire school would know by the time we went back after half-term.

A sudden sharp pain attacked my eardrum. I cupped my hand over my ear to try and soothe it, but it was really strong. A loud ringing noise filled my ear, high-pitched and piercing. It felt like someone was blowing a whistle inside my mind.

‘Aaarghhh!’

Mel quickly stopped the engine. ‘Em! Are you OK?’

Grandma Coalman yanked the car door open. ‘What’s the matter, love?’

‘It’s just my ear,’ I replied, wincing. ‘It’ll ease up in a couple of minutes.’

Grandma Coalman looked over to where Zoe-two-doors-up and Stacey Lock were standing with smug grins on their faces. ‘Funny how your ear plays up whenever that girl shows her face, isn’t it?’

‘It’s probably just a coincidence,’ said Mel, laughing.

Grandma Coalman and I exchanged a knowing glance. She raised her eyebrows. ‘If there’s anything that this family understands, it’s that there is no such thing as coincidence.’ She cast a watchful eye in Stacey Lock’s direction. ‘I think you might be allergic.’

‘To what?’ I asked.

‘Trouble.’ She closed the car door again and waved goodbye to us for the final time that day.

I looked through the back window and caught a glimpse of Stacey Lock laughing out loud as we drove away.

TWO

When we were nearly there, the car passed a little park with a rose bush by the gate. White roses blossomed eagerly, jumping out from the leaves to greet me.

I stared at them, hardly able to believe my eyes. I knew those beautiful white roses, though I hadn’t seen them in a long time. The rose bush wasidenticalto the one that used to grow in our garden.

Goosebumps covered my arms. A quick shiver went right through me – like walking into the sea and letting the water hit your belly for the first time. I folded my arms and wished I had my lucky cardigan to keep me warm. But it was in my suitcase, so I’d have to wait. I loved that cardigan. It was the first item of clothing I had bought completely by myself: a declaration of independence. I had bought it to go and see Ed Sheeran last year, and during the concert he reached out from the stage and actuallytouchedmy cardigan as he sang. I won’t lie to you – I nearly fainted.

I snapped back into the moment.Focus, Em.

I didn’t understand. How could I be seeing those roses again? Logically, it just wasn’t possible. But this little voice inside me – so faint, I could feel it more than hear it – told me that they were the white roses from my garden.

What did it mean? Was I seeing things now? When Nana Rose was alive, she always said that I was like her and Mum. They both had second sight, in different ways. But I didn’t have anything like that. So why did I feel there was something strange going on? I had a sense of déjà vu and it made me restless.The roses were some kind of sign. A sign of what, I wasn’t sure.

My tummy flipped over and an involuntary burp came out of my mouth. I took a deep breath and tried to settle myself.

I leant my head against the car window and watched trickles of rain run down the glass. This day was a load of pants.

I wasn’t sure how far away we were from my house, but I knew it was quite near because we’d only been half an hour on the M4.

‘You OK back there?’ Mel asked from the driver’s seat.

‘Super,’ I replied sarcastically.

‘I know you’re angry,’ said Mel. ‘But you’ll be OK, I promise. You’re a tough cookie, Em. And this place isn’t bad. It’s actually quite nice. Definitely one of the more pleasant places I’ve worked with.’

Mel was alright … for a social worker. She always wore hippie clothes – which was shaming – but other than that, she was almost cool. But the woman never shut up! She was like amachine. I sometimes wondered which one of us was the social worker and which of us was the kid, because it was supposed to be me talking and her listening, but it was usually the other way round. I didn’t mind, though. If she was bumping her gums about her boyfriend problems, instead of me bumping mine about my home problems, then that was fine by me. Well, when I say ‘home problems’, what I mean isMum.

A regular contributor to the Child Protection Register, Mum wasn’t just a risk to me and Freya, she was a risk to the whole of society.

There’s me – fourteen years old, sitting in the back of my social worker’s car, on my way to Alcatraz or somewhere.

My little sister Freya, was once again in temporary foster care at Bill and Nora’s house.

Poor Grandma Coalman was probably having a double stroke all down her right side from the stress.

And where was Mum during all this?

Thefriggin’ nuthouse, that’s where.

Mel must have clocked my face in her mirror, because she asked me again if I was OK.

I said yes, and nodded. My voice sort of croaked a bit, like I was going to cry or something. I daren’t look up, just in case I caught her eye, because then I probably would cry and I’d feel stupid.

So I just kept my eyes on the window as we drove up the hill and turned into the car park of the children’s home.

THREE

The home was a bit of a dump. It had a stale feel to it, like a dirty office building. The same carpet ran all the way through. Every wall was cream – magnolia, Mum would say – but with dirty handprints and a yellow tinge. Like spit.

The place justsmackedof disadvantage.

Mel went into some kind of office with a woman called Sue, who looked about sixty with short grey hair. They said they had ‘some things to go over’. I reckoned that whatever they had to ‘go over’ probably involved me, so why was I not invited into the office too? Adults could be real plebs when they wanted to be.

I sat at a table in the dining area, with my suitcase next to me, gripping it like it was the only thing I owned. Well, it was,I suppose. At least while I was staying here anyway.

I had a room of my own at home, with a laptop and a telly. I had a mini chandelier in the centre of my ceiling, with little crystals that cast rainbow shadows over my bedroom walls. The colours could cheer you up even on the most rubbish of days. But for now, all that was mine lay inside my suitcase, and my white knuckles showed how much I treasured it.

Oh, no. Did I remember to pack my lucky cardigan? Yes… Yes, Idefinitelypacked it.

The place wasn’t like I imagined a children’s home to be. I’d pictured hundreds of wild kids running around, screaming and smoking joints. But in real life, it was very quiet. I wondered where everyone was.

When Mel and Sue came out of the office, Sue told me that the other kids had been on a camping trip and were due back that evening. She offered to show me to my room, so we all walked through the corridors and up the stairs to a spacious room with two single beds. One of the beds had a mini-skirt and a hot-water bottle on it, so it obviously belonged to someone else.

‘That’s Karra’s bed,’ said Sue. She adjusted Karra’s bedcovers to tidy them. ‘You’ll be sharing a room with her. She’s got a mouth like a sewer, but a heart of gold!’

I smiled politely as Sue crossed the room to the second bed and said, ‘And this bed here is yours.’ She fussed with my bedcovers the same way that she’d fussed with Karra’s, and the fairness of it brought a lump of relief to my throat.

Sue left the room to go back downstairs. I put my case on the bed and sighed.

I was in a children’s home.

How did this happen?

Mel looked around the room and raised her eyebrows enthusiastically. ‘Oooh! This is nice!’ She tried to make light of the situation, but I could spot a lie a mile away, and she knew it.

‘Are youserious?’ I stared at her for a second, an unexpected wave of anger surging through me. You don’t bring someone to a place like this when they haven’t even done anything wrong, and then have the cheek to pretend it’snice.

Degrading, I think it’s called. My best friend Megan threw that word around a lot in school. The three words she’d used the most this term were ‘degrading’, ‘empowered’ and ‘dichotomy’. She was a feminist, see.

Mel’s smile quickly faded and she shuffled awkwardly from foot to foot. I felt guilty because I knew that it wasn’t Mel’s fault that I was here, but pride was a hard pie to swallow and I couldn’t bring myself to apologise for snapping.

We went back downstairs and Sue moved to the kitchen so I could have ten minutes with Mel before we said goodbye to each other.

Mel put on her coat on and turned to face me. ‘How are you doing, Em?’

‘I’m OK,’ I replied. I felt really bad for giving her the evil eye upstairs and I wanted to say sorry, but I didn’t have the guts. Something about the way she looked at me made me choke up a bit, and for the first time that day, I really felt like crying.

‘Come here.’ She opened her arms to hug me. ‘Bring it in!’

I buried my head in her coat. ‘I’m sorry for being nasty to you,’ I said. ‘I didn’t mean it.’

‘There’s no need to apologise,’ she consoled. ‘I wasn’t offended. I understand that you’re not really angry at me, you’re angry at thesituation.It’s been an emotional day for you. Under the circumstances, I think you’ve coped with everything very well.’

Sue called from the serving hatch in the kitchen. ‘Emmeline, I’m just making you a bit of food. Mel says that you haven’t had your tea. Are you OK with fish fingers?’

‘Yes, thank you!’ I called back.

‘I’ll get out of your way and leave you to settle in,’ said Mel. She picked up her bag, gave me a kiss on the cheek and shouted goodbye to Sue as she left.

I watched her from the window. She got in her car and waved to me as she pulled off. Once I was sure Sue was in the kitchen, I took one deep breath to stop me from crying, and this desperate little sound came out – from somewhere inside me, where I was just a tiny version of myself, invisible.

Sue called me over for my tea. I pulled myself together, walked to the table and sat quietly to eat.

She started chatting to me as I chewed some chips. She said that she knew it must be difficult for me, being in a strange place, with strange people, but if I wanted to talk to her or anyone else, then there was always a member of staff available. She told me that I could call herAuntie Sue. That’s what all the kids called her, apparently.

Freaks.

I called my Auntie Sally ‘Auntie Sally’ because, even though she’s not actually related to me, she’s known me since I was little. She used to babysit me and my sister. Everyone has some kind of auntie or uncle who’s not really an auntie or an uncle. But this wasn’t like that. I didn’t even know this woman. Not being funny or anything, the lady seemed alright, but I really wasn’t comfortable calling herAuntie Sue. But I suppose if everyone else called her that, then I’d better get used to it.

I tried to relax and eat my fish fingers.

I could hear her speaking on the phone in the office.

‘Emmeline Rose,’ she said to the person on the other end. ‘No, not Emily; Emmeline. No, you’re saying itwrong, Jim, you stupidman! It’s Em-eh-leeeen.’

I laughed at the defensive rise in her voice, and even though I didn’t really mind when people got my name wrong, I was grateful that she cared enough to correct the person on the phone. It reminded me of something a crazy aunt would do, and when I realised this, I decided that it wasn’t so bad if I had to call her Auntie Sue.

I finished my food and put the empty plate in the kitchen, unsure whether I should wash it or not. That’s what I would usually do at home, but I wasn’t in my own home now, was I? I decided to swill it under the taps and leave it on the side by the dishwasher. I left the kitchen and took myself back into the living area, pacing back and forth nervously.

I sat on the peachy-coloured sofa, watching telly on the edge of my seat. Sue – sorry,AuntieSue – must be a fan of baking programmes, because she was watching a marathon of them.

‘I love a bit of Victoria Sponge!’ Auntie Sue’s voice came back into the room. ‘You should have seen the one they made earlier.Gooorgeous,it was!’

I tried to watch the programme with her, but I couldn’t concentrate. Imagine going to visit someone’s house, and you’ve never met them before in your life. You feel like you have to be on your absolute best behaviour or when you get home, your mum will ground you for amonth. Then take that feeling, multiply it by about twenty-seven, and you’re somewhere close to how I felt, sitting on that sofa. The only difference was that I had no mother there to ground me.

Every now and again, my eyes would flicker at the window – the tiniest sound would send my guts into overdrive.

I’d never met anyone that lived in a children’s home before. What if I didn’t like them? What if they didn’t like me? I hated all this. I didn’t want to meet all these new people. I just wanted to go home to my own room and forget that any of this ever happened.

The waiting was the worst. Every time a car went past the place, my heart would go like the clappers.

‘Are you OK, Emmeline?’ asked Auntie Sue.

I nodded, avoiding eye contact. I was frightened that even a grain of sympathy would break the dam. I felt so uncomfortable. Initially, I’d been glad that none of the other kids were there, but now I felt sick with nerves. I just wanted them to arrive so I could get it over and done with.

I could feel her looking at me. I shifted awkwardly on the sofa. She reached her arm across and just patted my shoulder to comfort me.

‘It’s just soquiet,’ I said.

Auntie Sue laughed. ‘Not for long, love. I’d make the most of it if I were you.’

As if on cue, a conked-out old minibus drove slowly into the street and pulled into the car park.

‘Here they come!’ Auntie Sue got up from her seat and winked at me. ‘Brace yourself, kiddo!’

FOUR

What did she mean, brace myself? Now I really felt sick.

I kept still on the sofa, watching through the window from a stomach-churning distance. Even from here I could hear the minibus was filled with noise. I could see bodies jumping over the seats and pushing each other around.

‘TYLER!’ A giant Santa-man stepped out of the minibus. ‘I’m telling you now, LEAVE IT THERE! Stop arguing with me and shutup!’

‘But, Jim!’ A little boy tumbled out of the bus after him. ‘He’s lying! I didn’t do anything!’

I watched them walk down the path to the front door. The man was carrying a fishing rod and wearing a poncho, and the little boy had blond hair and a fishing net. He looked about seven.

The others all pushed through the corridors and started dumping their bags on the floor and arguing with each other. There was a bit of a scrap as they piled on the sofas, fighting over the remote control.

The little boy looked at me. ‘Who’s the girl?’ he asked, turning to the staff.

‘I don’t know, Tyler,’ replied Auntie Sue. ‘I asked what her name was, but it seems she’s an elective mute, because she obviously can’t speak for herself, can she?’ She rolled her eyes to signal for someone to talk to me.

‘What’s your name, girl?’ Tyler stood right in my face, eyes wide with curiosity. I could smell chocolate on him.

‘Emmeline,’ I answered.

‘Emmawhat?’

‘Emmeline.’ I was used to this. ‘Like Emily, but with an ‘n’ at the end … Emmeleeen.’

He looked at me blankly, with his mouth slightly open.

I picked at the skin around my fingernails. ‘Just call me Em.’

‘Emily…’ he said. ‘Em … Emily with an N … Emmaleeeeeen…’ He dismissed me with a wave of his hand. ‘I can’t be doing with all that. I’m confused now.’

The giant man laughed out loud. ‘HA! HA! HAAAAA!’ He threw his head back and roared. ‘Buuuriful!He’s abuuurifulboy, aren’t you?’ He ruffled Tyler’s blond hair. ‘Don’t mind our Tyler. He’s a bit hyper today. We popped into Big Tesco on the way back. He gets excited when we go in there, because of all the stuff.’

‘Oh, Jim…’ Auntie Sue looked sternly at the man. ‘Notagain.’

He looked guilty and apologised under his breath.

‘Youknowwe can’t take him to Big Tesco!’ Auntie Sue rubbed her forehead with the stress, and then explained to me. ‘Tyler can’t do Big Tesco,’ she said. ‘It sends him demented.’

I tried to look like I understood what she was talking about.

Auntie Sue clapped her hands together to get everyone’s attention. ‘EVERYONE!’ she shouted, but nobody listened.

‘YOU LOT!’ she shouted louder, but still no one took any notice.

She was just about to shout for a third time, when the giant man put his thumb and middle finger together in a circle, put them in his mouth and let out an almighty whistle.

Everybody stopped and stood to attention.

‘Thanks, Jim.’ Auntie Sue smiled at the man. ‘Everyone, I want to introduce the newest member of the household.’ Auntie Sue gestured to me. ‘This is Emmeline Rose, and she will be staying with us for a little while.’

‘Alright?’ A boy with a baseball cap nodded at me. He was about sixteen years old and had his tracksuit bottoms tucked into his socks.

‘Alright,’ I replied, and nodded back.

‘My name’s Beano.’ He smiled. ‘Pleased to meet your acquaintance.’

‘Stop flirting, Beano.’ A red-headed girl frowned at him from across the room.

‘Jealous?’ Beano smirked at the girl and winked mischievously.

‘Oh, get over yourself, will you?’ The girl rolled her eyes and walked over to me.

My mouth went a little dry.

‘Take no notice of that dickhead.’ She nodded her head in Beano’s direction. ‘I’m Karra, by the way.’

Before I had the chance to reply, a muddy sock hit the back of her head. She started freaking out and ran after Beano, vowing to get her revenge.

There were some mumbles of acknowledgement from the others and I smiled politely at them. Everyone carried on with what they were doing and I sat on the sofa, digesting it all.

The giant man came over and reached out his hand for me to shake. ‘Hello, Emmeline. My name is Jimmy. You can call me Big Jim. Everybody else does. It’s a pleasure to meet you, love.’

I shook his hand easily, already fond of the Big Friendly Giant. He excused himself, saying he had some reports to fill out in the office, so he would see me later.

‘How did the fishing trip go?’ Auntie Sue walked with him towards the office. ‘Did you catch many fish?’

‘I won’t lie to you, Sue. It didn’t go well.’ Big Jim looked solemn. ‘I can’t help but feel that if I had a longer, stiffer rod, I’d be a better fisherman.’

‘Yes,’ Auntie Sue smirked. ‘That’s what they all say.’

‘What do you mean?’ Big Jim looked at her, confused.

‘Never mind,’ she said, and chuckled to herself.

I watched the other kids – my brain processing their looks, voices, and personalities. And I felt, as I watched these strangers, as if I was a character from a very different sort of book to them. There was something untamed and rugged about them – something free. I knew that I probably seemed polished and temperate by comparison.

There was a short, cute girl called Charlie. She looked younger than the other girls – maybe twelve years old?

A girl called Quinn wore a lot of lipgloss and kept blowing bubbles with her chewing gum. It looked like strawberry flavour.

And then there was a stocky girl called Bett, who I guessed had a learning disability of some sort, but I wasn’t sure what. Bett wore a bright orange tracksuit with neon yellow trainers, and her hair was bunched up in a messy ponytail. She looked like she could gladly take on all the Six Nations rugby teams at once and teach them a lesson. She called everyone by their full name – firstandsurname. She was friendly, but clearly temperamental. Auntie Sue told me that Bett’s key worker – the woman who mainly looked after her in the home – was called Gladys Friday. This was important for me to know, because Gladys Friday mustalwaysbe referred to by her full and proper name. Nobody was allowed to address the woman by only her first name because if you did, then Bett, who had a real disdain for sloppiness, would go ab-so-lutelymental.

I was trying to retain all this information to help get me through the next few hours. I knew that if I wanted to survive, I would need to stay fit and alert.

‘You.’ Karra acknowledged me again. She had a real edge to her, but I felt I could sense loyalty in her brilliant blue eyes. ‘Auntie Sue says that you’re sharing a room with me. You best not have sat on my bed.’

I shook my head and smiled slightly, desperate not to show any fear – I knew if I did, she’d have me for breakfast. She held my gaze for just a second longer than was comfortable. When she was satisfied I wasn’t quite prey, but sure that I was no match for her either, she said, ‘Well, come on then. Are you coming upstairs or what?’

We made our way through the living room and as I followed her, I threw up a little bit in my mouth. You know, the mini-sick? I think it was nerves. I could feel it swishing around the back of my throat, hot and full of acid.

When we reached the corridor, I heard Tyler shouting from the living room. ‘Emmeleeeen!’ he called after me.

I turned around and reluctantly swallowed the sick.

He looked over the sofa and grinned at me. ‘Toast and tea is at nine. I’ll save you a seat.’

FIVE

I hadn’t been upstairs ten minutes before the clothes raid began.

Two girls stood at the end of my bed, rummaging through my suitcase like they were in a Top Shop sale.

‘Oh-my-life!Can I borrow this?’ Quinn held up a blue cardigan with a white velvet rose on the front. My lucky cardigan! I knew I’d packed it!

She folded it over her arm and sprayed my perfume on her neck.

‘Bugger off!’ Karra shouted, and I winced as she grabbed the cardigan. ‘I want that to go with my skinny jeans when we meet the boys tonight! There’s another one there – have that one instead.’

Quinn huffed and carried on searching through my things for something else she fancied wearing. They both spotted my pink top at the same time, and Quinn seized it before Karra had a chance.

‘Give it.’ Karra gave Quinn a look of warning.

‘I’ll swap you for that blue cardigan.’ Quinn held the top out of Karra’s reach.

‘Deal!’ The two girls exchanged garments.

Charlie, the little blonde girl, sat quietly on the edge of my bed, smiling at me sympathetically.

I wanted to tell them to leave off my stuff, but I didn’t have the guts. I watched as they tackled each other over my lucky cardigan, and my heart skipped a beat every time it was thrown or grabbed. The white rose was so delicate, and it had little specks of glitter on it. It was my favourite cardigan in the world. Ed Sheeran hadtouchedthat cardigan, for goodness sakes! I washed it in the bath because I was too frightened to let it go in the washing machine, in case it got ruined.

‘Quinn!’ Karra’s voice was full of command. ‘Get off! You’re like a scavenger. Give the girl some space. We don’t want to make a bad impression on her first day here.’

All four girls walked to the opposite side of the room, sat on Karra’s bed and looked at me as if they were interviewing me for a job.

‘So, what are you here for, Em?’ asked Karra.

‘Just some trouble with my mum,’ I answered.

‘Do you mean yourmam?’ asked Quinn.

‘That’s what I said,’ I replied.

‘No, you didn’t.’ Quinn looked at me as if I was stupid. ‘You said, yourmum.’

‘What’s the difference?’ I asked.

‘People from England sayMum,’ answered Karra. ‘And people from Wales sayMam.It’s a fact.’

‘I don’t think that’s anactualfact,’ I said.

‘Yes, it is,’ Karra declared. ‘Check it on Google, if you don’t believe me. I’m not thick, you know!’

I coughed nervously.

‘So, you’re having problems with your mam, are you?’ Little Charlie asked, picking up the conversation again.

‘Yes.’ I nodded.

‘Ahhh,’ they all empathised in unison.

Quinn looked me straight in the face and asked, ‘Is she a junkie?’

‘Nooo!’ I answered, caught off guard.

‘Is she a boozer?’ she pushed further.

‘No.’ I could only remember a few times in my life that my mum had properly been drunk.

‘A slag?’

‘No.’

‘She beating you up?’ Quinn looked hopeful.

I shook my head.

‘Well, what theDonald Duckare you here for then?’ She stood up, miffed at the insufficient amount of gossip.

‘Her old man’s a wife beater, probably,’ said Karra. ‘Given your old girl a pasting, has he?Typical, that is.’

‘My dad would never do that to anyone,’ I answered sharply. ‘He’s a good dad…Wasa good dad. Not now – he’s dead now. But when he wasn’t dead, he was a good dad.’

Discomfort rose between us. I had to break the uneasy silence. ‘I mean, he’s a crap one now, of course. He’s never here for a start.’ The bad joke instantly made me feel guilty, but the girls laughed.

‘So why are you here then?’ Quinn asked. ‘You must be here forsomething. They don’t just chuck random kids into children’s homes, you know. My mother was smacking up about five times a day before they brought me here.’

I stared at her, shocked. Was she telling the truth? Or joking?

‘Well,’ she said, ‘it was probably more than that really, but I’m not allowed to see my files until I’m eighteen. So I don’t really know how bad she was. But you know what I mean – they don’t just bring you here for nothing.’

‘Yeah,’ Karra agreed with her. ‘Specially not now, what with the depression and everything; they can’t afford it.’

‘The recession,’ the girls corrected Karra, and they rolled their eyes like this was an everyday thing.

‘Worrevs,’ Karra said. ‘You know what I mean, you bunch of tits.’

‘Oi! Now that’s enough, Karra-Jayne-Lewis,’ Bett told her off. ‘I’ve heard enough swearing from you today, thank you very much. I won’t have it. There’s no need. And if Emmeline Rose doesn’t want to talk about why she’s here, then that’s up to her.’

Quinn frowned at Bett. ‘Oh, shut up, Betty Morris. Nobody asked you.’

‘No!Youshut up, Quinn Davies.’ Bett folded her arms. ‘She’s not trying to bully you into telling heryourlife story, is she? Because it’s private, see. I mean, you wouldn’t like it if she knew that your mother was a slag, would you, Quinn Davies?’

Karra snorted under her nose.

Little Charlie moved to the top of the bed where she was safe as she tried not to laugh.

Quinn’s mouth fell open. ‘Whatdid you just say?’ She narrowed her eyes at Bett.

Karra had thrown herself backwards on the bed by this point, laughing hysterically. Little Charlie had buried her face in the pillow.

‘Isaid…’ Bett moved closer to Quinn so they were stood face to face as she spoke. ‘Your. Mother.’ She emphasised the words. ‘Is. A. Slag.’

‘You best take that back, Betty Morris,’ Quinn threatened, and even I was trying to hide my smile by now.

They glared at each other.

Karra laughed out loud. ‘Girls! Come on! We’ve got a visitor. Behave yourselves. Can’t you two just get along for one day?’

An hour later, the girls were lying around, listening to music and painting their toenails with my new cherry-red polish. They’d introduced themselves properly, talking over each other as they defined themselves by three different categories: what their criminal convictions were, how many boys they’d boffed, and what they wanted to be when they grew up.

Karra was sixteen years old, had one ASBO and one GBH charge. That’s Grievous Bodily Harm, she said. I didn’t know this. The closest I’d been to a police encounter was watchingCSIon a Tuesday night.

She’d boffed two boys and had one pregnancy scare, but then she’d had the implant afterwards so it didn’t matter now, apparently. She wanted to be a teacher but couldn’t because of the ASBO, so was thinking of going to college to be a beautician instead. The other girls said this was a shame because they all agreed that it would be lush to have a teacher like Karra – you’d be able to do whatever you wanted in class!

Quinn was fifteen, and she had one record of TWOC – Taking Without Owner’s Consent.She’d stolen Auntie Sue’s car the year before, after an argument with Bett. She said she just needed to get away for a bit, so she drove to Carmarthen for the day and ate chips on the beach at Llansteffan. The police picked her up, halfway down the M4 on the way back to the children’s home. Although she was gutted to be arrested, she was flattered that the police thought she was a very conscientious driver, considering she’d never had any driving lessons. She was quite proud that she was the only person in the home to be an officialtwocker, which was the police’s term for car thieves. Because there was no damage to the car, she’d got off with a community service order, cleaning up dog mess in the park. Quinn said it wasn’t so bad in the end – she’d met a nice boy there, and he now bought her curry and chips from the chip shop down the road every Friday night.

She eventually wanted to be a nurse, and she had also boffed two boys, but made them both wait six weeks on account of not wanting to turn out a slag like her mother.