101 Tiny Changes to Brighten Your Day E-Book

Ailbhe Malone

• Herausgeber: Icon Books
• Kategorie: Ratgeber
• Serie: 101 Tiny Changes
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 58

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2018

Beschreibung

This book believes that you're worth looking after — even when you don't.  101 Tiny Changes to Brighten Your Day is a friendly book of tips on how to look after yourself and your mental health, in an age where we too often forget to pause and take a breath.  For anyone with anxiety issues, those who struggle to prioritise their own mental health over catching up on emails and social media, or those looking for a bit of encouragement, these small tips will help you shine again.  With small actions, you can make a big improvement to your well-being – whether it's making your phone a source of positivity instead of stress, engaging in habits that make you feel healthier and more positive, or preparing for darker days.  Ailbhe Malone's simple tips combine with witty illustrations from Naoise Dolan to create a resource you'll dip into whenever you need a helping hand. A totem for your bedside table, backpack, or to give to a friend in need, this book believes that you're worth looking after, even when you don't.

Leseprobe

101 TINY CHANGES TO BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY

AILBHE MALONE

ILLUSTRATED BY NAOISE DOLAN

CONTENTS

Title PageAbout the AuthorIntroduction1.Teeny Tiny2.Take a Walk on the Wild Side3.Making Your Phone Work for You4.Prep for Darker Days5.All Too Much6.I’ve Only Got Five Minutes7.Dealing with the Internet (Because Sometimes It Is Just the Worst)8.Letting Others Help You (You’re Not Alone!)9.Big and BraveNotesReading ListAcknowledgementsCopyright

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Ailbhe Malone is Lifestyle Editor at BuzzFeed UK and a founding member of the UK team. Her weekly self-care column for BuzzFeed ran from 2016–17. She consults on Lifestyle for BuzzFeed internationally and has featured as an industry expert on BBC’s The Apprentice, and for Phaidon’s Where to Eat Pizza (2016). Prior to BuzzFeed, she worked for Nylon (US), the Guardian (UK), Heat and Wired.

INTRODUCTION

Hello!

As you will see throughout this book – which I hope you are reading after purchasing, and not just skimming at the bookshop till (in which case: Hiya! Please buy this. It’s good, I promise.) – I’m a big believer that small changes can have a big impact on your mood and well-being. And, although this book is about you, I thought I’d take a moment to talk about me. I mean, we’re going on this journey together, so I might as well open up a bit.

For a long time, I thought my anxieties were par for the course. Who doesn’t make a back-up plan in case their parents die and they have to provide for their siblings? (Very few people do this.) Who doesn’t panic if they don’t arrive at the airport exactly two hours – three for long-haul flights – before their flight takes off? (Most people.) Who doesn’t lull themselves to nervous sleep, revisiting all the mean jokes they once made in the pub to work acquaintances? (You can see where I’m going with this.)

My life went on in this tiring, anxious way for the better part of 28 years, until I started treatment for a generalised anxiety disorder. When I finally began treatment, I found the process of getting better overwhelming. For so long I had put myself at the bottom of the priority list, and it was all too much to try to climb my way back to the top. It was so important to me to worry about everybody else that I found it really difficult to believe that I was worth looking after.

I decided to begin looking after myself by focusing on the little things. I still found it difficult to say what I really wanted in certain situations, but I could test myself by deciding what I wanted on a smaller scale. Did I want to go to the gym after work, even though I was exhausted? You need to lose some weight, my brain said. Or would I just go home and watch TV and relax? That sounds nice, my body suggested.

I began to take what I thought of as considered risks – relying on my gut instinct and listening to what my body and soul needed, rather than what my burnt-out brain thought it needed. When I say ‘risks’, that’s exactly what they felt like: like every deviation from a routine was inviting disaster. Through baby steps, I learned that the sky wouldn’t come falling down if I put myself first every now and then.

Small things, like making my bed in the morning or being brave enough to tweet about my mental health, gave me a sense of accomplishment and made me feel like I wasn’t alone. These steps, combined with medication and support from my therapist, helped me to open up and, like tarnish fading from silver, I began to shine again.

I began to treat myself more gently and more thoughtfully: I carried my self-esteem the way a dog carries a stick it’s especially proud of. I trusted myself to believe that I was worth taking care of – and to see myself not as a project to be completed, but as a person trying to live their life. That’s what I hope you’ll get from this book.

In this book, I’ve gathered tips that will help rebalance your anxious mind – for when your self-esteem is low, and you don’t believe you’re worth looking after.

Maybe your confidence has been shaken by an unexpected twist at work, or perhaps you’re finding a change in your personal life hard to deal with. The point of this book isn’t to solve your problems, but to help you learn to cut yourself a bit of slack. There are practical tips to help you shine again, when you’re not feeling the best, and they come in all sizes – from five-minute turnarounds to total attitude readjustments. This book is small enough to put in your backpack, or store by your bedside table – think of it as a guidebook for when you don’t believe you’re worth looking after.

At this point, I want to talk a bit about the commodification of self-care. It’s something I feel conflicted about. I mean, hi, I got paid to write a book about it, which you, dear reader, have spent money on. On the one hand, if you want to spend money on making yourself feel better, then of course, do that. But on the other hand, someone is profiting from you trying to buy your way out of feeling bad about yourself. However, at the base of all this is the feeling that maybe you’re not even worth spending money on.

I certainly struggle with this – if I buy myself something nice, I feel like I have to prove (to myself and others) that I have earned it. If someone compliments my new earrings, I’m quick to add that they were on sale – worried that someone will think that I’m too big for my boots. I’m aware enough of my privilege to understand that dithering over what buying a pair of nice earrings means for my self-esteem isn’t an earth-shattering dilemma. But it can often feel like a big personal struggle, and it may do for you too. So, not for the last time, let me say: you are worth spending time and money on.

Unless you live in a yurt on a self-sustaining farm, spending money is part of your everyday life. But I recognise that you may have different means, so please take any tips about spending money with a pinch of salt, and a dose of whatever reality is appropriate for you.

With that spirit in mind, as you read the book, take pictures of your favourite tips, or grab a pen and make notes on those tips that don’t work for you. These tiny changes are meant to brighten your day – if they don’t, then leave them out!