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- Herausgeber: Icon Books
- Kategorie: Ratgeber
- Serie: 101 Tiny Changes
- Sprache: Englisch
101 Tiny Changes to Brighten Your World is a book of uplifting tips on how to look after yourself and your world, from your personal relationships, to your working space and relationships, to society and the environment at large. In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it can be all too easy to lose sight of what really matters to us, and to take others and our world for granted. Focusing on tiny changes, Ailbhe Malone encourages us to take it step by step – with ideas to nurture our friendships, reduce plastic waste and make ethical choices, and improve our online spaces and our broader social environment. Simple practical tips combine with fun illustrations to create a treasure trove of inspiration, positive encouragement and optimism.
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Seitenzahl: 57
Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2019
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101 TINY CHANGES TO BRIGHTEN YOUR WORLD
AILBHE MALONE
ILLUSTRATED BY BECKY BARNICOAT
CONTENTS
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ailbhe Malone is a freelance journalist, a former founding member of BuzzFeed UK and its Lifestyle Editor. She has consulted on Lifestyle for BuzzFeed internationally and has featured as an industry expert on BBC’s The Apprentice and for Phaidon’s Where to Eat Pizza (2016). She has worked for Nylon (US), the Guardian (UK), Heat and Wired.
INTRODUCTION
Hello! If you’re a first-time reader, welcome. If you’re reading this book because you read my first book, 101 Tiny Changes to Brighten Your Day, welcome back.
Lots has changed in my life since I wrote my first book. I got married! I published a book! I lost my job! I wrote a second book! My anxiety, however, did not change. I still spent the morning of my wedding in the bathroom, doubled over with anxious stomach pains at the thought of everyone seeing me and how I might let them down. I still felt like a massive imposter when I published my first book, and probably did it a disservice by saying: ‘Oh, it’s non-fiction, just a gift book on self-care.’ And I still struggled with trying to be open about my mental health in a way that was authentic to me but that also wasn’t too open.
What did change though, was how I reacted to my anxiety. With the help of a therapist, I’ve gotten a lot better at noticing how my anxiety is presenting itself and at sitting with it, rather than allowing it to overwhelm me. For example, my body was freaking out on my wedding morning, but in my head I could say: ‘Ah, OK, obviously you are nervous! It is normal to be nervous!’ When I found out that my department at work was being cut and I was going to be made redundant, I began trying to plan all the ways I could control the outcome. I would have a job within a month, maximum. I would also use the time off to go to the gym lots and maybe travel to see friends abroad. I consumed myself with these plans and attempts to control what was happening to me, before I realised that I wasn’t allowing myself to actually feel anything. I had put so much value on who I was in relation to my job that I didn’t want to think about who I would be without that work. I had to start thinking more externally than internally.
The first book focused on how to use self-care to look after yourself, to treat yourself like a friend. In this book, I want to explore how self-care can be outward-facing: self-care can mean examining how you interact with the world around you. It can mean advocating for yourself at work and examining how you thrive in different spaces. It can mean taking pleasure in the natural world, and also taking responsibility for the environmental impact you make on the planet. It can mean having difficult conversations with family members, in a thoughtful and supportive way. It can also mean examining relationships with people who don’t support you, or who make you feel bad about the way you live your life.
All of this is to say that change never happens all at once. You don’t make a birthday cake by putting two already-cooked sponges in the oven. Process, and thoughtful activity, is what leads to real change. Think of it this way: my friend Jeanne posted on her Instagram the other day: ‘I was running late for something, but remained on the bus instead of taking a taxi and it was fine, even though I was seven minutes late. Had a veggie-ish dinner. Didn’t internet shop on payday!’ Her post is a great reminder to be proud of yourself for making an effort – small changes add up, no matter how tiny.
These concerns are generalised based on my experiences as a cisgender white woman – I’m under no illusions that if you’re LGBTQ+ or a person of colour you have other things to deal with instead of, or in addition to, these things. I’ve tried to include resources here about how to support friends and family members who will be experiencing a different set of difficulties, working within a system that doesn’t support them and that expects, but fails to reward, their labour.
As ever, take the tips in this book as suggestions rather than rules. If my experiences differ from yours, or if the tips don’t feel right for you, then scribble them out and write your own alternatives in their place. Self-care is about what’s right for you, and the best person to decide what that means is, well, you.
HOW TO BRIGHTEN YOUR FRIENDSHIPS
This chapter will help you nurture your friendships and be a better friend to yourself.
I’ve always found it easy to make friends and to keep friendships alive – at least, that’s what I’d always believed. But as I’ve grown older, and my close friends no longer live in the same city as me, I’ve had to learn how to nurture friendships that don’t involve a ten-minute bus ride to watch TV. At university, my favourite thing was how all my friends lived in each other’s pockets. We even copied out each other’s class timetables so we’d always know who was around for a coffee or some nourishing 11am chips in the canteen. Even in my early twenties, most of my friends stayed in those pockets – I could practically ping-pong around the city and check off seeing my friends, catching up and fuelling our relationships. But as people move out of cities and back to their hometowns, and jobs become more important, it’s tricky to feel like you’re still getting quality time.
If you’re in this situation and you hold on to all of your worries, questions and pieces of news for when you see your friends IRL, you miss out on a lot in between. So, a lot of the tips in this section look at the ways you can nurture friendship from a distance.
