By the Flicker of a Lone Light E-Book

Yeong Hwan Choi

• Herausgeber: epubli
• Kategorie: Poesie und Drama
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024

Seitenzahl: 211

Beschreibung

"By the Flicker of a Lone Light: Musings of an Unknown Writer" In a world where fame and fortune often define success, there exists a quieter path—one walked by those who write not for recognition, but for the sheer need to express, to connect, and to survive. By the Flicker of a Lone Light is a candid exploration of the life of an independent writer, navigating the murky waters between art and livelihood. This poignant collection of reflections takes you through the joys, frustrations, and peculiar realities of balancing creative passion with financial struggle. From moments of solitude, pen in hand, to the late-night thoughts of survival, the author reveals the relentless pursuit of meaning in a world where many voices go unheard. Written with wit, depth, and an unflinching honesty, this book is for anyone who has ever felt the weight of their own words, and for those still searching for their place within them. This is not just a book for writers—it's a tribute to anyone who's ever chased a dream, no matter how small their flicker of light. If you've ever pondered what it means to create in a world that so often demands compromise, then this book will speak to the depths of your soul. Key Hook for Readers: Ever wonder what it feels like to be a writer in today's chaotic, fast-paced world—without the safety net of fame or wealth? Dive into the mind of a writer who faces the reality of creating for survival, while struggling to keep the flame of creativity alive. An intimate reflection on the delicate balance between passion and practicality—where art is both the escape and the chain. This book will resonate with the independent creators, the dreamers, and anyone who understands that sometimes the greatest stories come from those who remain unseen.

Leseprobe

By the Flicker of a Lone Light:

Musings of an Unknown Writer

While every precaution has been taken in the preparation of this book, the publisher assumes no responsibility for errors or omissions, or for damages resulting from the use of the information contained herein.

BY THE FLICKER OF A LONE LIGHT: MUSINGS OF AN UNKNOWN WRITER

First edition. September 5, 2024.

Copyright © 2024 Yeong Hwan Choi.

Written by Yeong Hwan Choi.

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Table of Contents

Title Page

Copyright Page

By the Flicker of a Lone Light | : Musings of an Unknown Writer

<Meeting through the pain of heartbreak>

Episode 1. The Beginning of Writing

Why did you start writing?

The process of publishing a book (independent publishing)

Not everyone is equal when it comes to writing.

Episode 2.Growth and Change

Changes in Reading and Writing

A list of book reviews of books you read in the year after leaving the company

Harvard 100 Years of Tradition Sensibility Class

I'm decent enough

Psychology Speaks to JoJo

Seth Matreal

Fish do not exist

Episode 3. Resignation and Restarting

Others are hell

Mid-30's, worries at a turning point in life: What to eat

Choice and Focus: Business and Book Writing

Episode 4. While Publishing Ten Books

The Joy and Anxiety of Publication

Book Ten: The Achievement of Goals

Middleground: Sustainable?

Episode 5. Reality and Ideals

Earnings: Economic Reality

Books that sell and books that don't

Balancing the Reality and the Ideal

<Where does writing End>

By the Flicker of a Lone Light

: Musings of an Unknown Writer

Written by Yeonghwan Choi

https://brunch.co.kr/@edaf6c3031c5401

After 10 years as an office worker, create your own lifestyle!

<Meeting through the pain of heartbreak>

'Why do people write?' and 'Who usually writes?' may be one of the most fundamental questions that humanity has been asking since the beginning of time. Unfortunately, there are very few people around me who understand the texture of writing and deal with it in a similar situation.

Often, we tend to think of writers as writers. However, the truth is that there are a lot more around us. Journalists write articles every day, and office workers write reports and proposals. All of them are "writers," but their writing follows a certain form and framework. Articles aim to convey facts, and reports aim to provide efficient and clear information.

Writing as a creator is a little different. The writings of novelists and essayists break free from the prescribed framework and express their own thoughts and feelings freely. Instead of delivering information and reporting and approving to superiors, it becomes a vessel for emotions and ideas.

Some people take up their pens because they can't help expressing the emotions that weigh down their hearts. Another sits in front of a monitor, trying to make sense of the complexities of the world. In the midst of the irrationality and disorder of the world, he seeks order to unravel the threads of thought, and goes forward as a navigator on the endless sea. Use 'where I am now' and 'where I am going' as a compass for writing.

They are usually the ones who tolerate loneliness well. They are the ones who are not afraid of the time to face themselves in solitude. They choose to communicate with themselves first rather than with the world. In the process, you discover a new self and lose your past self.

That solitude is not lonely. He enjoys the solitude and finds deep satisfaction in it. The moment you write, you step away from the world for a moment and immerse yourself in your own world. In that world, they comfort themselves, heal themselves, and create a new meaning for their lives. Philosophers have often described writing as an "extension of being." Not only do you understand yourself more deeply, but you also invite others into the world of "me."  Therefore, there is a strong tendency to organize one's inner thoughts. Collect the thoughts and feelings that come to your mind and express them systematically.

Second, there is a strong desire to clarify one's thoughts. They have a strong desire to express themselves. Writing is a tool for expressing oneself. Through their writing, they want to make their voices heard and share their own perspectives.

Third, there is a personality that leads to empathy. I have a great desire to gain the sympathy of others and connect with them through writing. And, naturally, they are curious about the world. The desire to explore new topics and find answers leads to writing.

Fourth, there is a tendency to like contemplation. The process of writing is a process of deep contemplation. They enjoy talking to themselves and trying to understand themselves through writing.

Fifth, there is a desire to express creative ideas. I like to think in new ways and express them in writing. Use your creativity to bring a new perspective to the world.

Sixth, interpret the world through critical thinking. They don't just accept information, they analyze it, look at it critically, and interpret the world from their own perspective.

Seventh, there is a desire to develop problem-solving skills. I enjoy the process of analyzing problems and finding solutions while writing. 

Eighth, they like freedom. Writing is a space where people can express themselves freely without restrictions. They feel liberated by releasing their pent-up emotions and thoughts through writing.

After all, a writer is a person who wants to understand himself, someone who wants to understand the world, and above all, a person who wants to find the meaning of existence.

I was one of those people. As I wrote, I explored my inner solitude and discovered a new me. Also, 'What is the world?' and 'Who am I?' I often asked the question. As I entered my mid-30s, I experienced repeated resignations. Leaving a stable job and looking for a new path was a fresh start in life, but it wasn't an easy one.

The repeated resignations of large corporations and civil servants, the uncertain future, and the real-world problems I faced while sitting in front of a monitor and writing. If it was boring, it was boring, and if it was happy, it was a happy time.  When I first picked up the pen, I didn't know what the writing would give me. I just wrote it down to clear up my confused mind that was hurt by love and tired of relationships.

The snow-white A5 paper glowed on the monitor. Like a clean canvas with nothing written on it, there were endless and infinite worries on it. The pure white space does not contain any story, but soon black letters are engraved on it. The thoughts that flow from your fingertips turn into black ink and settle carefully on the white paper.

The sound of typing continues like a rhythm, and the black letters engraved one by one create a strong contrast against the pure white background. White embraces all colors, but it is silent in it, and black breaks the silence and shapes it.

The two contrasting colors preceded the visual effect, symbolizing the boundaries between order and chaos, tranquility and turbulence, and possibility and reality. When the black letters are finally transferred, the black letters show off a variety of colors. The monotonous, ordinary-looking black color turns into a palette of countless colors.  Some of them whisper love and hope in a warm pink hue, while others touch the heart with the pain of a deep blue light. Thus it is sublimated into red passion, sometimes into cold grey solitude, and sometimes into the vibrancy of green. In this way, the black letters contain a variety of emotional colors, and every time the reader reads and accepts the text, it emits a new color.

The colorfulness of black letters is magic in itself. Magicians draw patterns by spreading black ink over the water. Only then do the black letters bloom in the reader's mind, and the colors evoke various emotions in each person's heart. A white piece of paper that throws a ray of light into someone's pitch-black cave embraces all possibilities. So, maybe it's an adventure to find the light in the darkness. The pure white paper becomes a mirror that reflects your thoughts, and the words engraved on it reveal your inner shadow. Whoever writes their own story shines on its own, leaving another contrast in the mind. I was able to slowly savor my self. Who I am, what I want, and where I need to go. It was not an autobiography, but a record as a process of finding myself. Finally, writing 10 books gave me a small sense of accomplishment.

The tax is stamped on the bank account once a month without fail. The size of the sum is not significant, but it seems that the writing goes out into the world, is sown as a small seed, and then greets it with its head slightly poking out from the ground. Even if it's a ridiculously small number, it's a small joy to know that someone listened to my story.

Just as an artist living in an old castle holds in his hand a small bag of gold coins from a patron who comes to him every month, the preciousness of this is the world's response to creation.

Episode 1. The Beginning of Writing

Why did you start writing?

What is the difference between words and writing? If a horse is an assault rifle that quickly overwhelms an opponent, writing is like a sniper rifle that slowly but surely takes out its target. These two weapons are used in different situations and have different results depending on their characteristics. An assault rifle is a weapon that can suppress multiple targets in an instant when facing an enemy at close range. They demand an immediate response from the other person and can respond quickly to the situation. When I worked in the civil service or in a large company, I had the aura of this weapon. Reading the participants' facial expressions, I changed the flow of the story flexibly and relaxed it with humor. At that moment, the words grabbed many of them like bullets, and I was able to convey my arguments effectively on the spot. In other words, speech has the power to make the difference in the game.

Writing, on the other hand, is a weapon that calmly aims at the target, like a sniper rifle. It can be compared to a tool that can accurately hit the bull's-eye from a distance. Slowly organize your thoughts, find the right words, and aim deep in the reader's heart. As before, before an important decision in my boring work life, I wrote an email with a long story to the person in charge of LH. It was a carefully organized piece of writing that made the other person read it and think deeply. It is said that the content still had an impact on the other person's mind even after the passage of time.

In the past, orators often rose to a higher position than those who wrote. The forefathers of the Joseon Dynasty highly valued the ability to recite the eponymous words in an instant. This is because it shows the person's wisdom, wit, and ability to judge the situation. A similar example can be found in the Three Kingdoms of China, which I have enjoyed watching since I was a child. One of Cao Cao's sons, Jo Jo (曹植), had a political rivalry with his brother Jobi (曹丕), who tested him in front of his courtiers in order to get rid of his younger brother. Jobi had already been elevated to the position of emperor by following Cao Cao's will, but it was a plot to get rid of him out of jealousy of Jojo's talent.

In the banquet hall, under the watchful eyes of the courtiers, the elder brother presents a cruel proposal to the younger brother.

"I say you're so good at composing poetry, and if you can't recite it while walking seven steps, I'll punish you."

In a moment of extreme urgency, he knew that his life was like a lamp. And the atmosphere at that time was on the verge of being stained with blood by the pure white sword, and the courtiers were holding their breath and were engulfed in tension. Finally, he walked away and spoke quietly.

"The stalk of the beans burns, and the beans boil on them. The beans and the stalks come from the same root, so how can they burn each other?"

This parable, which depicts the soybean, the stalk, and the conflict between siblings, expresses the reality of breakfast so exquisitely. Cold sweat beaded on his forehead, and his gait was slow, as if each step decided his fate, but his voice was firm and clear. At that moment, Breakfast's words pierced the hearts of the servants. Jovi fully understood the meaning of the poem, and he couldn't help but feel a sense of brotherhood for a moment. As soon as the breakfast poem was over, the banquet hall fell dead silent, and the moment when he was about to die was overturned.

The poem "Seven Poems" is a dramatic example of the power of speech. The more flamboyant your speech is, the more likely you are to convince people and lovers. Fluent wordplay can move listeners' emotions and sway their decisions. However, the downside is that if you miss that moment, you won't be able to regain that opportunity again. A word thrown like a 'flick' is like an arrow that cannot be returned, and a word that has been shot once cannot be undone. Therefore, the proverb "a word pays a debt of a thousand" means that a single word can have a big impact, but it also means that you need to be cautious.

The strength of writing lies in its permanence. Once written, a text does not lose its meaning and emotion over time, and is read and interpreted continuously through generations. Its speed is slower, but its weight is deeper. Just as a great tree grows slowly and hardens, words exert their power over time. This is because they dig slowly but deeply in their minds and plant the seeds of new thoughts.

Considering that when it is launched, it steadily moves towards its goal and sinks deep into the reader's heart, words give a momentary emotion, and words give a resonance that is remembered for a long time. They are powerful human tools that move people's hearts according to the situation. And when used well, these tools open up endless possibilities for communicating and presenting our thoughts and feelings to the world.

Think about why you started writing. Celebrities often compile their experiences and thoughts into a book after reaching a certain rank. And of course, their books get attention and become bestsellers. This is because the name alone is valuable enough and can attract people's attention.

On the other hand, those who are unknown writers or choose independent publishing like me don't easily look back on the world even when they write a book. One can only watch as the book, which has been completed with great effort, sinks silently, like a small stone thrown into a calm sea.

"To be famous" is to form a powerful "personal branding." In this day and age, being famous means the opportunity to build a diversified revenue pipeline. It paves the way for you to run a YouTube channel, generate ad revenue, get sponsorships based on your influence on social media, or expand your brand in many ways. Even if you don't have to rely on traditional earned income, you can generate a stable enough income based on the value you've accumulated. But to me, fame is just a distant story. And I didn't start writing to be famous. I wrote just to record what was overflowing in my mind, to create my own little space.

He wasn't a writer to make a profit. I'm sure there are many writers out there who started writing with a similar mindset to me. Many of them started out as a simple motive for a friend or a small motive in everyday life, and later became famous writers.

Think of Agatha Christie. She became a nurse when her husband fought in the First World War. It was at this time that she began to write small detective novels to spend time with her friends, the first of which was "The Strange Incident at the Styles Manor." At first, she started out to entertain her friends, but with the publication of this novel, she became a master of detective novels. Another interesting example is J.K. Rowling. She was going through a difficult financial time when she started writing stories for her young daughter. That story evolved into "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone," and the book became a beloved series around the world. In addition to this, J.R.R. Tolkien wrote down the stories of "The Hobbit" for the enjoyment of literary gatherings with friends. Tolkien began writing for fun as a way to read the adventures of protagonist Bilbo Baggins to his friends, but the story was later reshaped into the legendary fantasy series "The Lord of the Rings," and Tolkien became a master of fantasy literature.

In this way, the beginning of writing can come from small and trivial motives. A little novel that started as a fun game to share with a friend, a fairy tale written for a child, or a hobby resonates with the world. Writing has the power to be a bridge between me and my readers, connecting me to the world in ways I never intended. At that time, writing was a window into my inner voice. Without hesitation, I wrote a very personal, diary-like entry for a conversation with myself, not for the world's attention.

The first book I wrote was <INTP left a civil service job to meet ESFJ>. At the time, he was a civil servant and wrote a book for the woman he loved. It was a story with her, a confession of my heart, and a reflection on not being able to win love. One day, I suddenly thought about compiling the diary into a book and giving it as a gift. "Isn't it too good to just bury this diary in a piece of paper?" I found out about the independent publishing site Bukk, where I published my own book.

The process leading up to the publication of the first book was, if you think about it, a love drama in itself. The title is <NTP left a civil service job to meet ESFJ>. Doesn't it seem that the protagonist will be different even if you listen to it?

Now, let's take a look at the birth of this eventful first book.

It all started with love. That's right, I was once in love. And that love led me to give up my secure job as a civil servant to write. This sounds like pure love, but it was actually a rather unrealistic choice. Doesn't falling in love cloud one's rational judgment?

Her MBTI, which I loved, was ESFJ, that is, an emotionally extroverted person. On the other hand, I am an INTP, that is, a person who is full of thinking and introverts. On the surface, it looks like a combination of water and oil, but the difference is fascinating. Every day, as I reflected on my conversations with her, I began to write in my journal without realizing it. How she has influenced my life, how I feel through her.

I was suffering from the fever of love, and that passion was translated into writing.

I felt like I would regret it if I didn't write about this once-in-a-lifetime love. Normally, I'd run along the river, go to the gym, and get over the pain of heartbreak, but is this crazy? Yes, it was crazy. As I was writing, I began to think more about her, and writing became the best way to capture those feelings. Like the protagonist of a fantasy novel, I wanted to weave a special story into my writing, driven by love. And just like that, line by line, the moments when I loved her were woven into a book. The process wasn't as smooth as it seemed. I was confused about where and how to fix the first draft and how much to revise. Like repeating an experiment in a laboratory, I wrote, erased, and revised. As a result, I often ended up making a mess. I showed it to my friends for feedback, and they said, "What is this?, isn't it raw?" The response came back. I was a little sad at the time, but now I try to sublimate it into humor. Thanks to the advice of my friends, I even made better sentences. And, like many others, I searched everywhere for information. In particular, I began to be immersed in advice and lectures on writing tips and publishing processes by famous writers on YouTube.

'Writing a book, 10 secrets beginners should know!' 'How to Become a Best-Selling Author!' and other lectures that make you look like you're going to become a famous author right away. However, as soon as I saw the lecture, the words that immediately came to mind were, "Use your five senses!" Was.

The five senses? What are the five senses? He said that if he wrote using his five senses, it would be more vivid. In other words, include what you see with your eyes, what you hear with your ears, what you smell with your nose, what you taste with your mouth, and what you feel with your hands. I was so excited that I started writing down my first sentence.

"I was sitting in my room. I see a white wall in front of me, and I hear the 'tick-tok' sound of a wall clock in my ears. My nose smells the freshness of the early morning air, and my tongue retains the afterglow of yesterday's chicken. My hands were battling the hard keys of the keyboard."

After writing this sentence, I felt like a great writer. However, my friend who read my post again said, "What, is this a five-sense bombardment?" He tilted his head. That's when I realized.

The five senses are important, but cramming everything in such a haphazard way doesn't make for a good article. The lecture I saw probably gave me the wrong courage. Put all five senses in? Then I'll put it all in! That's the problem. What's even more absurd is that he arbitrarily applied the advice in the lecture: "Use language that readers can relate to." I'm going to get right into practice, so what is empathy? After all, empathy should be easy for readers to understand, right? The sentence that came out of my head was:

"Her smile stayed deep in my heart, like the crunch of a scrape of paper."

Even after reading it, something was a little strange. What's the sound of the squishy? Is this relatable? But I was so engrossed in writing that I didn't think to fix it. On the contrary, it attracted more of the five senses.

"His eyes were like cookies melting in warm milk, and my heart was as dizzy as sliding on a sleigh."

The advice I had in mind, "Use your five senses," was a tool to bring your writing to life, but it turned it into a "bombardment of the five senses." And as a result, my first article was rated as "too forceful". From the first sentence, I overloaded the readers' senses.

Without fail, I write black letters today. Use the five senses appropriately and find expressions that readers can relate to. Of course, I decided to stop using the sound of Nurungji. And as I began to write, I involuntarily remembered all the grammar knowledge I had learned from famous teachers in my old school language classes or when I was studying for the civil service. When I looked at the sentence again, which I had just scribbled in my head, I immediately began to think about the structure and style of the paragraph.

'Shall I write it in two batches? Or in a non-traditional way?' One day, as soon as I woke up in the morning, I started writing in two sentences, but in the afternoon, I suddenly thought, "Wouldn't it be cooler?"

So, all day long, I went back and forth between the two and the other to revise my writing. Like writing jumping on a magic trampoline, from front to back, back to front. In the end, what I wrote that day became something confusing, a mixture of headlines and blankets. It might have been less confusing if it had been written in a binary format from the beginning. And the question of person. Writing in the first person, I was worried that this article was too "me"-centric. So I said, "yes, let's write in the third person!" However, after a few sentences, I unknowingly went back to "I"! As the sentences went back and forth from the first person to the third person, my writing felt like a diary of multiple personalities.

"How could this be?" he blames himself and corrects his writing, but what's even funnier is that the sentence itself gets weirder and weirder as he worries about the unification of the point of view. In the writing, I went through a frantic transformation: I changed into 'he', then suddenly returned to 'me', and then transformed into 'he' again. One day, while I was writing back and forth, a friend read my article and said: "There are so many different points of view in your writing. I feel like the protagonist keeps transforming."