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- Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
- Kategorie: Fachliteratur
- Sprache: Englisch
- Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2022
Overcome obstacles, achieve your life's goals, and live your life on your own terms! In Choosing to Prosper! Triumphing Over Adversity, Breaking Out of Comfort Zones, and Achieving Dreams, celebrated company founder and finance leader Bola Sokunbi delivers an uplifting and practical message of success and resilience in the face of formidable obstacles. The book challenges readers to examine their own financial and personal dreams and find the strength and resilience they need to achieve them. The author provides the tools readers need to build confidence, find their voice, and realize personal growth. Imposter syndrome, mental health challenges, and common familial obstacles are all explored in the context of the author's incredible and inspirational life experiences. Readers will find: * First-hand stories that highlight the challenges faced by women of color and proven ways to overcome them * Expert and honest advice on how women can build a successful, career and/or a profitable, and flexible business depending on their chosen path * Hands-on strategies for women to achieve their extraordinary goals and dreams With a particular emphasis on the experiences of women of color as they seek to succeed in a world that seems stacked against them, Choosing to Prosper! is the perfect resource for women trying to navigate the challenges posed by modern life, career, and business.
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Table of Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
About the Author
Acknowledgments
Introduction: You Have to Tell Your Story
How to Use This Book: It’s About You, Too
CHAPTER 1: The Beginnings of Who I Am
Note
CHAPTER 2: Coming of Age
CHAPTER 3: My Career Journey
CHAPTER 4: Changing Paths to Financial Wellness
Notes
CHAPTER 5: My $100k Savings Story
CHAPTER 6: About My Rich Husband
CHAPTER 7: The Crossroads to Building an Impactful Business
Notes
CHAPTER 8: Imposter Syndrome, Mental Health, and Other Personal Challenges
Note
CHAPTER 9: The Year 2020
Notes
CHAPTER 10: Proudly Black, Female, and Successful
What's Next?
Index
End User License Agreement
Guide
Cover Page
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
About the Author
Acknowledgments
Introduction: You Have to Tell Your Story
How to Use This Book: It’s About You, Too
Begin Reading
What's Next?
Index
Wiley End User License Agreement
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Choosing to Prosper
Triumphing over Adversity, Breaking out of Comfort Zones, Achieving Your Life and Money Dreams
Bola Sokunbi
Copyright © 2022 by Bola Sokunbi. All rights reserved.
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.
Published simultaneously in Canada.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per‐copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750‐8400, fax (978) 750‐4470, or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748‐6011, fax (201) 748‐6008, or online at http://www.wiley.com/go/permission.
Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Further, readers should be aware that websites listed in this work may have changed or disappeared between when this work was written and when it is read. Neither the publisher nor authors shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.
For general information on our other products and services or for technical support, please contact our Customer Care Department within the United States at (800) 762‐2974, outside the United States at (317) 572‐3993 or fax (317) 572‐4002.
Wiley also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that appears in print may not be available in electronic formats. For more information about Wiley products, visit our website at www.wiley.com.
Library of Congress Cataloging‐in‐Publication Data is Available:
ISBN 9781119827368 (Hardback)
ISBN 9781119827382 (ePDF)
ISBN 9781119827375 (ePub)
Cover Design: Joyce Teo
Cover Image: © Angelito Jusay
This book is dedicated to the women in my family who came before me and set the stage for who I am and what I have accomplished today. To my grandmothers, my aunties, and my incredible mother. Thank you. I also dedicate this book to every woman choosing to prosper, and I hope my story and my journey so far serves as inspiration.
About the Author
Bola Sokunbi is a certified financial education instructor (CFEI), investor, finance expert, speaker, podcaster, influencer, and the founder and CEO of Clever Girl Finance, a personal finance platform created to empower women to achieve real wealth and live life on their own terms.
She started Clever Girl Finance in 2015 to provide women with the tools and resources she wished she had when she began her financial journey.
She is also the author of the bestselling books Clever Girl Finance: Ditch Debt, Save Money, and Build Real Wealth; Clever Girl Finance: Learn How Investing Works, Grow Your Money; and Clever Girl Finance: The Side Hustle Guide: Build a Successful Side Hustle and Increase Your Income.
Today, she lives with her husband and twins in New Jersey.
Acknowledgments
Writing a book is hard, and this one was particularly challenging because, unlike my three previous books, this is based on my personal story. Thank you to my parents for fact checking, sharing their own stories with me, and raising me to be who I am today, to my husband for encouraging me throughout this entire business building journey, to my twins who always tried to keep very quiet whenever Mommy was working on her book, and to my dearest and closest sister‐friends, who have never stopped supporting and cheering me on. From the texts and the phones calls encouraging me to keep going, to just always being there for me. I love and appreciate you.
To my advisors and big sisters, Maureen, Roshi, and Monique. Thank you, Maureen, for helping me lay out the initial outline for this book after I called you out of the blue to say I was stuck. Thank you, Roshi, for brainstorming book names with me over email, text message, and on the phone. And thank you, Monique, for reminding me about why I needed to write this book to share my voice. You have been with me on this journey, building Clever Girl Finance, and I appreciate you.
To my other amazing advisors, Dan, Jonathan, and Brent. Thank you for your advice, for constant words of encouragement, and for supporting this female‐owned and female‐focused business!
A massive thank‐you to the Clever Girl Finance team for holding down the fort while I spent months focused on writing. Thank you, Esther, Yazmir, Anita, Stacy, Carli, and Kat. And thank you to all our incredible writers and content creators. You make Clever Girl Finance work.
To my development editor, Cassidy Horton, thank you for your feedback and motivation and for helping to make this a book I'm proud of.
To my managing editor, Kevin Harreld, for pushing me to write this book now, and to the rest of the incredible Wiley team that has supported me on my journey as a now four‐time author—thank you so much.
Introduction: You Have to Tell Your Story
Be empowered and bold and know you have a voice that no one can make you bury.
As a child, I thought I would grow up to be a doctor. It was a big dream of mine. I would line up my dolls in my pretend doll hospital and treat them for made‐up ailments. I was a great doll doctor. But in real life, the sight of blood made me queasy and I quickly realized that career path was a no‐go for me. I wasn't sure what else I wanted to do until one day in high school in Nigeria, my dad brought a Compaq desktop computer home for our family. It was a massive thing with a standalone central processing unit that hummed and purred, but it was new and exciting. After spending hours and hours on the computer each weekend, I taught myself how to use MS DOS (Yup, it was the mid‐1990s!) from books my dad bought me. With my love for computers, I wound up deciding to study computer science and business with a certification in website development when I got to college. That decision was inspired by both my parents, who would always tell me, “Bola, computers are the future, but if that doesn't work out, you can always fall back on business.”
My dad was a PhD‐holding mathematician, econometrician, and later the head of the technology department at the government job where he worked. He was educated in Nigeria, Russia, and the United States. My mom, on the other hand, studied economics, had a master's degree in finance, and got her education in Nigeria, Austria, and the US. She worked in investment banking in Nigeria, building side hustles to earn extra income along the way.
At first glance, we were a pretty middle‐class Nigerian family. But there's a whole backstory behind how my parents got to where they were as the first generation of middle class in my family. While I go deeper into my family and personal background story throughout the course of this book, I'll set the stage here.
My dad didn't start primary 1 (the first grade) until he was 13 years old. The reason? My paternal grandfather was not a fan of colonial education (inherited from the British Colonial rule in Nigeria). It also cost a lot of money, which he didn't have. So instead of school, my dad worked on his father's farm to help support his family. It was only after much convincing, and well over a decade later, that my grandfather allowed him to go to the closest school in the next town a few miles away while my grandmother supported paying his school fees with the little money she made as a small‐goods trader. He made the journey to school every day on foot.
My mom, who was fortunate enough to start her schooling when she got to school age, met my dad and got married at 19 with only a high school diploma. She didn't start college until after she had her four children and was in her mid‐thirties. She came upon the realization that she needed to be able to stand on her own two feet financially, and she saw education as a pathway to get there.
Both of my parents come from polygamous families and had parents that were not formally educated, making them both the first generation to go to grade school, high school, and college in their respective families. Poverty was also a familiar experience for them both growing up. And as soon as they graduated from high school and were able to earn any form of wages doing odd jobs here and there, they were obligated to support their younger siblings. Knowing about my parents' backgrounds and all the sacrifices they'd made to give me and my brothers a better life than they had growing up, I knew I had to do well. That was all they asked of me.
So, over the course of 11 years after graduating college, I worked as a test engineer, a technology consultant, and a business analyst. In most cases, I was the only woman on my team or in my department. I faced all kinds of prejudice, sexism, and racism. I was underestimated and opposed because of my gender. I struggled to find peers or mentors in my workplace that I could relate to as a woman of color. And many times, I struggled with the isolation of being the only one: the only black person, the youngest person, the only woman. And so, I retreated into my shell and just focused on the job I needed to do. I focused on doing it well, so that when I called my parents, I could tell them everything was great.
But despite my challenges, I loved the work I did. I felt a sense of exhilaration for every problem I investigated and solved and for every solution and strategy I presented that was implemented—even when others took credit for my work. And for a while, I was pretty content, keeping to myself at work, making good money, climbing my career ladder slowly but surely, and doing well.
However, as time passed, I became less and less content, and I felt something was missing. Sure, my parents were proud of me and I was making decent money. But I wanted to be more than just a number in a payroll file managed by a human resources department that could pull my file and fire me at any time if the company hit a bump in the road. I was tired of retreating and conforming at work. I was also going through my own personal life transitions. I had gotten married, moved cities, and become a mother to my beautiful twins. Time was flying by and life was happening, and I wanted to make sure I was being intentional with my time and intentional with the pursuit of my goals.
When I started Clever Girl Finance in 2015, it was born out of my personal need to create a safe space for myself and other women to talk about building wealth, our careers, and our lives. Its foundation was established from the personal blogs I had written over the years where I talked about how I was spending, saving, and investing my money, challenges I was facing as a woman at work, the side hustles I was starting, and my dating relationships (among other topics I was interested in). I shared my writing with friends and colleagues, who in turn shared it with the women in their own lives who could also relate to my experiences and challenges. These women knew exactly what I was talking about and how I was feeling, because they were feeling it, too. It wasn't initially clear to me, but Clever Girl Finance evolved from those early days of me simply sharing my thoughts and experiences.
However, if you'd told the guarded and introverted me of 2015 that my life would pivot completely and I'd be the bold female founder at the helm of one of the largest personal finance platforms for women in the US—a business so many people told me wouldn't work—I would have thought you were crazy. And while the journey was far from easy, here I am, still looking around in amazement at how far I've come.
In full honesty, when I pitched this book to my publisher, I imagined myself writing a different kind of book than the one you currently hold in your hands. It was going to be another personal finance “how‐to” book, the fourth book in the Clever Girl Finance series. I thought this only made sense, considering how successful the first three were. But then my publishing editor reviewed the pitch and said, “This is great for a future book, but I really think it's time you write about your journey. People want to know you, and you have such an important story to tell.” The response was not a surprise to me at all. In fact, I already knew it was coming. This book you're reading now, in which you'll get to learn about my story and my journey, has been a topic of conversation since my very first book pitch. But I'd consistently resisted it because, for me, it was a major challenge I wasn't quite ready to face.
For one thing, the introverted me was holding back from the discomfort of opening up. There was the fear of allowing myself to be vulnerable in telling my story. And then there was the voice in the back of my head that kept telling me that to write my story now—a story still very much in progress—would be premature. So, I made excuses and told myself that I just needed to accomplish a few more goals and reach a few more milestones, and then I would be ready to tell my story.
However, deep down, I knew I needed to write this book, and now was time to do it. I stress the word need because I've always known that sharing my story, my journey, my experiences was absolutely necessary, especially in a world heavily biased against women like me when it comes to wealth, business, and success. And there is value in telling a story while you're still making the journey. I learned this truth when I wrote some of my very first articles for Clever Girl Finance and got feedback from my friends and even strangers on the internet about how much they could relate to the perspective I was sharing and how much they wished the article topics were normalized conversations. After having built a platform and community, it was time to seize the opportunity to share this story I have to tell. So, I took my discomfort and fear by the collar and sat it back in the corner and told my publishing editor, “Yes, I'll write the book now.”
Getting here has been the result of many experiences, circumstances, and realizations in my life—all of which have shaped and prepared me even though I had no idea what I was being prepared for—or that I was even preparing for anything. And even being here, by virtue of who I am and what I look like, I have found myself overlooked and undervalued countless times. I've continued to face all kinds of prejudice, sexism, and racism—but on a grander scale compared to what I was exposed to during my career days. However, the difference between the Bola back then and the Bola today is that I'm empowered, I'm bold, and I have a voice that no one can make me bury. I know who I am, and I know why I'm here.
And as I share my experiences with you on this journey of mine so far, my hope for you, the woman reading this book, is that you're inspired to tap into your greatest self, build the real wealth that you desire and deserve, and make the conscious choice to prosper, regardless of what anyone says or any circumstances that might be setting you back.
And when I say the words wealth and prosper, I'm not talking solely about money or possessions. The financial aspect of wealth is great, but don't misconstrue being wealthy and prosperous solely as having money. This is what the majority of people focus on, and in turn they miss out on so much.
The truth is, wealth and prosperity go well beyond money. I'm talking about tapping into your wealth of talent, your wealth of strength, your wealth of perseverance, and your wealth of ambition, all of which tie into and will lead you to prosperity and abundance in all areas of your life. Once you realize this, the financial side of things tends to flow more easily. Your wealth of talent allows you to hone the skills necessary to achieve whatever it is your heart desires. Your wealth of strength and perseverance allows you to follow through with your life and financial goals, especially when things get difficult. Be it achieving your greatest career heights, building the business of your dreams, improving your finances, or starting over, your wealth of ambition allows you to dream bigger than yourself and create those things. And as a result, you'll find yourself getting clear on your true purpose, which in turn will give you both an anchor and a guide to pursue living the life you deserve on your own terms. I had to realize this all for myself—and now it's your turn.
This book is for every woman who has ever been undervalued, underestimated, overlooked, or made to feel less than worthy. It's for every woman who knows she has a greater purpose and just needs the right nudges to gain clarity. It's for every woman seeking a space of relatability so she doesn't feel so alone on her business, career, and life's journey. This book is from me to you. I share my story to motivate you, empower you, and remind you that you can achieve your dreams because you are more than worthy. All you have to do is make the choice to prosper.
How to Use This Book: It’s About You, Too
While the basis of this book is a reflection of my personal story and journey, it's not just about me. As I reflect on my journey so far, so will you.
At the end of each chapter, you'll find a section titled “Let's talk about you,” where I'll ask you questions to help you dig deeper into your own story.
Take your time to answer and reflect on these questions. They'll help you unpack (and perhaps even uncover) parts of your past, gain clarity about your goals, and fine‐tune your path to success in your career, relationships, finances, and more.
A pen and notebook would be great to help you document your reflections in the familiarity of your own handwriting and refer back to them in the future. But a notetaking app will work fine, too.
That said, let's settle in and do this.
CHAPTER 1The Beginnings of Who I Am
Reflecting on who and what has shaped you has the power to help you craft your future.
Everyone calls me Bola for short, but my full first name is Mojibola. As with most Nigerians, I have multiple names, and my first name was given to me by my paternal grandmother. It's a name from Yoruba culture in southern Nigeria and directly translates to, “I woke up to meet wealth.” In Yoruba, the word wealth, “Ola,” doesn't actually refer to money. Instead, it refers to the wealth associated with joy, happiness, abundance, and well‐being. In many instances, when a child is named by the Yoruba, they're named based on the prayers, hopes, and aspirations the family has for this new child. When I reflect on this, I imagine that when my grandmother named me, she had many prayers and aspirations for me, especially given the day and age she lived in.
My paternal grandmother was the only grandparent I got to know. Two of my grandparents had died long before I was born and the third died when I was only four years old. So I grew up just knowing the one grandmother whom we affectionately called “Mama.”
Mama was born in 1908 and got married young. She was the fifth of the seven wives my paternal grandfather had. (Yup, my grandfather had seven wives.) Polygamous families in Nigeria were quite the norm, and my family was no exception. Culturally, polygamy had a lot to do with financial and societal status. Marriages were brokered by fathers on behalf of their daughters; the fathers either felt they were making the best decisions for their daughters or they used these marriages as opportunities for financial gain in the form of steep bride prices. For the groom, the ability to marry multiple wives and to have several children was the perfect display of this financial and societal status. However, with multiple wives and children to feed, in many instances, that display of status was short‐lived.
Mama was not formally educated under the then‐British colonial system that is pretty much the mainstream standard in many parts of the world today. And by “not formally educated,” I mean she couldn't read or write and was considered illiterate. As she barely spoke any English, the only words she was able to say to me in English were, “good girl.” She just loved to say those words to me over and over again whenever she saw me. She was a petite little lady with tribal markings on her face and traditional tattoos in green patterns covering both her arms, and she was always dressed in her traditional Buba (blouse) and Iro (wrapper). In my eyes, Mama was the sweetest grandmother ever.
My paternal grandmother, Ibidayo
As a young woman in the earlier part of the 1900s living in a small town, her expectations were to get married, be a good wife, have children (preferably male children), and care for her family. Becoming an independent woman during that time was taboo. And it was even less possible for someone who was considered illiterate. Despite this, my grandmother managed to become a successful trader in her own right, traveling to different parts of Nigeria, trading her various goods, and in turn creating an income that she used to take care of herself and her children. When she wasn't traveling around trading goods, she was working on the family farm. You may be thinking it was a family farm with tractors, an irrigation system, and animal pens, but it wasn't that kind of farm. This was a small and simple farm powered by hard work, sweat, and hand tools. The “irrigation system” was the rain that fell from the sky.
For Mama, working was a necessity. I can imagine she encountered many financial (and marital) challenges as a mother of five children, one of the youngest of seven wives, and the wife of a husband who had this huge financial obligation of providing for several other children (my paternal grandfather had 18 children in total). She was part of an extremely large family where there was not enough money to go around to take care of all the wives and children. And so, it was not uncommon for mothers in these types of family settings to get creative and find ways to earn money so they could support their own children—and that was exactly what my grandmother did with her trading business.
When going to school became an option for her children, my grandfather was against it. He did not believe in the foreign education the “colonialists” had brought to Nigeria. He was not convinced of how it would help his children in the future. Plus, it was expensive, so off to the farm everyone went. My grandmother, on the other hand, despite her lack of education, wanted better for her children. She chose to do what she could to earn money so she could help some of her children get a formal education, despite the societal expectations that were set for her as a woman.
I remember as a teenager we would visit Mama in my dad's hometown of Oke‐Mesi, a town located in the southwestern region of Nigeria in Ekiti state. It was a three‐ to four‐hour drive from Lagos, the city we lived in. I was always excited to visit Oke‐Mesi because I would get to see Mama and my dad's other siblings. At the time, Mama was well into her eighties and losing her memory. And while I didn't always understand everything she said in the dialect of Yoruba that she spoke, I would sit with her and listen to her tell me stories of her life and of people in the town.
Source: maps.google.com
