Lives Ripped in Italy from the 1970s to the present E-Book

Antonella Betti

• Herausgeber: Youcanprint
• Kategorie: Für Kinder und Jugendliche
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2021

Beschreibung

About 40,000 children were forced to leave their families. No one is immune from this slaughter and the destruction that must be stopped. Emma and her siblings are still the standard bearers of all of this, while the system still maintains maximum mute sound to prevent the machine's system eventually freezing and interrupting picking on the victim. Children are not ATMs, but they are children nonetheless (they must be treated as people and not as objects) and they have the right to grow up in their families. It is time to say enough about the slaughter of children, whether they have been placed in foster care and / or for adoption, placed in a foster home, or simply transferred by their family for trivial reasons.

Leseprobe

INDEX

Preface by Senator Paola Binetti

Introduction - "Reconstruction of the Phenomenon & Data Analysis"

THE HISTORY OF "MILO"

Dossier "KIDNAPPING OF STATE"

Children Stolen from life, Kidnapped from their parents and stolen from society

THE STORY OF SOFIA

THE STORY OF EMMA: "THE PRINCESS OF THE PEOPLE"

Abuses on the weakest: "HOLOCAUST OF CHILDREN"

THE STORY OF MARCELLA

THE STORY OF NANCY & THOMAS

THE STORY OF AURELIO & BEATRICE

THE STORY OF IVAN & GIULIA

The Social Worker as Family Consultant in Conflict Management - Family Structure and Functions

The Evolution of the "Family in History"

THE FAMILY CYCLE: THE RECONSTRUCTED FAMILIES

From individual personality to family dynamics. The systemic approach-relational study of family relationships

Social Services: emerging problems and family policies

THE HISTORY OF LORENCE AND HIS CHILDREN

THE STORY OF DARIA AND HER CHILDREN

IN CONCLUSION…

Reference Bibliography

Antonella Betti

Lives Ripped in Italy

TITLE | Lives Ripped in Italy from the 1970s to the present

AUTHOR | Antonella Betti

ISBN | 978-88-31690-88-1

First digital edition: 2020

© All rights reserved to the Author.

This work is published directly by the author through the Youcanprint self-publishing platform and the author holds all rights of the same in an exclusive manner. No part of this book can therefore be reproduced without the prior consent of the author.

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Dedications

To my parents and all my family (adoptive and biological) for having accompanied, supported and supported me throughout the journey of revenge and search for truth, both on a moral-material and emotional level.

To Professor Elvira Falbo and Senator Paola Binetti (Child Neuropsychiatrist) for their humanity and their guidance, for having been the spiritual-human strengths in the darkest, hardest and most angular moments to face in this long path of revenge and search for truth.

To Bobo, Gaetano, as well as to my brothers who are the natural central pillars of my existence , as well as my rediscovered roots in this " extended found family " , to my longtime friends and to all dearest loved ones, for their support and their strength in the darkest and most difficult moments .

Acknowledgments

Sincere thanks go to Professor Elvira Falbo and Senator Paola Binetti (Child Neuropsychiatrist) for their availability, humanity, preparation and guidance, as a sign of affection and profound esteem. It is exclusively thanks to their help, intervention and collaboration, that I was able to find not only the medium and long-term retrograde memory lost following a very serious accident in 2007 (with which many have had land during these twelve years fertile to act against me for the benefit of their purposes) but myself and it is exclusively thanks to their strength , drive and cooperation that today this book-document has seen the light.

This book-investigation, publishes some details, places and facts, relating to stories that really happened, certainly made more anonymous than reality.

This editorial choice was made not exclusively for greater protection of the privacy of the subjects in question, but to avoid as much as possible any forms of retaliation and various intimidation to the detriment of the author.

PREFACE

by Senator Paola Binetti

There are many stories that Betti has collected in this book: dramatically true stories, in which the suffering of each and every one creates a suffocating spiral that threatens the very survival of the protagonists. Objectively inadequate norms are intertwined with the painful, entirely personal subjectivity, often made up of adults with an emotionally immature psychology, capable only of interweaving relationships on the verge of pathology , which refer to a completely self-referential application. And not infrequently in this confused jumble of intermittent judgments, contradictory feelings emerge, in which aggression and violence can represent distorted forms of love. While a love, repeatedly declared and made explicit, can reveal envy and jealousy, in which the anxiety of possession takes on a frankly destructive character.

The book has its own dramatic key that invests the style, the biographical contents and the values ​​evoked several times: it is difficult to say to what extent the passion veils the objective dynamics of the facts. But what is certain is that from the very first pages of the book emerges a passionate defense of childhood stolen from so many children . History has not done justice to suffering and has chosen to curl up in a silence that evokes the worst of condemnations: that of complacent indifference towards the dominant thought, towards the choice of consolidated power. There is an intertwining of responsibilities that the author of the book tries to shake from the beginning of the text and it is what links individual responsibilities to institutional responsibilities. To the violence of some, stubbornly staged, against innocent children , a rubber wall of institutions responds that should protect their rights and take charge of what is right and what is good, while instead they prefer the easy way the compliance convenient to those who govern. Understanding what really happens in certain families and institutions is much more difficult than it seems. And the first rule of prudence suggests not judging things and people without first examining the problems by assuming a multidimensional perspective. At first glance it is easy to identify with this or that parent the cause of the evil that continues to be generated to the detriment of children; but then change their mind and realize that even the parents, presumed guilty, in turn are victims of circumstances that have been unleashed against them, creating unbearable stress. Victims and executioners are often less distant than they appear and this fact turns into an element of additional suffering for children. The "bad" parent cannot be demonized, to the point of becoming the alibi to justify his own aggression and his own desire for revenge. The grudge that these young people harbor while waiting for a moment of definitive redemption, in reality only asks to be forgiven in order to start a different life again. But even this triplet of actions-reactions: understanding, forgiving and starting over becomes impossible without substantial help from the institutions. A help that sheds light on everyone's responsibilities and helps everyone and everyone to put into play that sense of profound justice that he manages to forgive, even before demanding a rectification of the facts and a restitution of what seemed lost, but which in some way it can always be recovered: confidence in oneself and in others; new goals and new challenges to face in the light of the new awareness gained.

The author does not discount anyone. On the contrary, it seems that he emphasizes the cases he tells in order to make the need for forgiveness explode as an absolute necessity, offered for free but to which the offer of reparation by the wrongdoer must necessarily be linked. Repair on the level of good reputation, when the damage has touched the image of a person; financially, when a person has been cheated; repair on the emotional level, when deep affections and feelings have been alienated from this person. But if reparation is about justice, forgiveness is an integral part of mercy and both need the truth. Of the truth lived and told; of truth as a high form of reparation and reconstruction to proceed on a new level of justice.

In the text, the reconstruction of the facts is not always replaced by an adequate bibliography; often a popular narration of facts and circumstances prevails which the author takes as pre- text, in the literal sense of the term. As something that comes before the text and reflects high and strong impact emotions and impressions. It is as if by writing and giving voice to emotions and feelings the author triggers a process of self-therapy, reconciling herself with the pain suffered. But she was also and above all reconciled with herself, because starting from the ignorance of facts, which over time had become hazy ghosts allocated in her conscience, she managed to obtain the right mix of indignation, without giving up hope and to a cautious optimism.

In many of the families described, nothing is as it appears. Self-centeredness has the character of a dependence that leaves no room for the other; while generosity becomes an easily blackmailing tool to place ever more binding boundaries on the freedom of the other. There is not much difference between the dependence of those who feel they are victims of a system and the dependence of those who, at least theoretically, should take care of this system. He who today appears to be the source of discomfort and suffering, was only yesterday a victim of abuse and arrogance. But no one at the institutional level has protected neither the former nor the latter: they preferred to ignore both, or at most make them a sort of scapegoat to condemn them without professional competence and without mercy.

Fragile families, in which the crisis becomes the most common glue to keep people together, as in a house of cards, in which each stands only because it leans on the other. But at the same time he reminds the other that his life depends strictly on her. A mystery of psychological and social distress, in which borderline personalities struggle to keep their sad passions under control and seem constantly on the verge of exploding. The family lifestyle is always over the top: we talk too loudly; a language is used in which the epithet and the insult seem ordinary ingredients; there is a latent aggression that is unleashed with extreme ease. Yet they seem like families capable of being together for far too long periods, until something happens that acts as a detonator and the family, all of a sudden, is gone. They are families who, when they rise to the headlines for some striking fact, make everyone say that violence was in the air; that everyone knew that sooner or later something would happen. Just a pity that no one has done much for them. Other times we find ourselves in front of adults suffering from a seductive and convincing narcissism, for which it is easy at first contact to recognize their arguments as true and as good. Everything is held in their narration of the facts: the logical thread is always and only their point of view, their interpretation of the facts. It is just a pity that it is not true and that things are not at all as they say. But even in this case, to unmask the intrinsic hypocrisy that lies behind their stories, the critical incident is needed, the one we all would like to avoid: the explosion of anger, the dismissal, the discovery of a castle of lies, not rarely of an economic nature, behind which they hide.

Families in crisis because time, instead of favoring the maturation of the adults that compose them, allows their personality disorders to emerge, exasperating and accentuating them, to the point of blowing up precarious balances and never seriously taken into consideration for their fragility. Only afterwards, everyone scrambles to show that they had foreseen what would happen. Violence, abandonment, but above all suffering, a lot of suffering, which - obviously - especially children, at any age, shop for. And this book is also the story of children and minors who grow up carrying too heavy a burden on their shoulders; tossed between one and the other used as a bargaining chip to obtain this or that benefit; unconscious instruments of blackmail, they add their feelings of guilt to the real faults of their fathers, like children who have not been able to guarantee the agreement between their parents. Children who, unhappy in the family, also because their existential space is lacking, witness the progressive expansion of the space of adults, who try to take for themselves everything they can, at least in the form of compensation. Times and spaces of adults become the object of bargaining, in the same way as economic resources. Everyone tries to get as much from the other as possible, also to make it objectively difficult, if not impossible, to start a new family!

In the various cases analyzed in the book, all true stories as the author reminds us, and in whose reconstruction of the facts, I do not enter because I do not know any of the subjects described, this melting pot of strong suffering emerges. Nobody is saved and perhaps everyone, considered from the outside, could have implemented different strategies in order not to succumb and does not let others succumb. But at the point of the narration of the facts it seems that no one had serious alternatives and that was the only possible solution. A strange fate seems to hang over certain families in which the immaturity of one becomes a real threat to the others. A sort of death announced, foreseen and foreseeable, but in front of which no one intervened. Nancy, Thomas, Ivan and Giulia are the result of a life project, theirs, in which they could not be and feel free. They found themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time, and fate seems to have stuck on them. Science does not speak of Parental Alienation Syndrome, the famous PAS, but there is no doubt that if one parent is committed, it is able to demolish the image of the other parent in the child. It undermines its credibility; it surrounds him with a cloud of suspicion, so dense as to not allow anyone to understand what really happens. Parental alienation is not liked by doctors, especially neuropsychiatrists, but judges like it, because they limit themselves to seeing that one of the two parents has canceled the other from the child's existential horizon. Euthanasia of a parent, moreover without his consent and the child has no choice but to feel an orphan; orphan with a parent who will take care of him, but only after eliminating the other parent, who will no longer have the right to survive, not even the memory of the child, because he is the "bad" parent. It is the serious paradox of the so-called parental alienation syndrome, in which the apparently good parent eliminates the bad one, to take its place in the child's head and heart, with a strategically dangerous replacement operation for the child's balance.

They are children who inevitably lose their innocence very soon and learn to unmask the hypocrisies of both parents, but the more lucid and crafty they become, the more their innocence vanishes and for them, to survive, they just have to become every a bit more cynical and opportunistic day. An inevitable defense mechanism, as the trust in those in whom they should have placed it most is lost. Betrayed twice, they feel that they can rely solely on themselves.

In reality there is a third betrayal that awaits them: that of a bureaucracy that under the aspect of a good mother, in reality is much, too often in a real conflict of interest. Because these children pay and not a little to the structures that welcome them. Because many professionals revolve around them who are not always up to the task and above all are not always on their side. Professional adults who make strange alliances with other adults who have already broken the great pact that institutions should sign with this wounded and sick childhood.

In reality, in Italy there are many family homes that welcome some of these children in temporary foster care with great humanity and help them to rebuild their identity; they heal their wounds, restore to their emotions that dimension of serenity and positive expectation that they urgently need. But the author of the book has collected other cases: those of boys doubly in difficulty; those who have encountered family and social misadventures; those who bear the consequences of unresolved suffering on their skin.

The Italian judiciary is well aware of some of these situations in which someone has speculated on an abandoned childhood, deluding it to exploit it more and better. These are the striking cases, which often rise to the news and occupy the front pages of newspapers for a few days. Until the scandal subsides and the situation returns to a complacent anonymity. But there are perhaps less conspicuous cases, in which the further drama of these children is that of not being believed. Their voice, which according to the law should have a fundamental role in the decisions that affect them, remains unheard; a thousand stakes are raised that empty their complaints of meaning. Those towards some adults in the family, for example towards abusive fathers, and those towards the structures in which they are welcomed, in which psychological well-being is the least of the objectives of the small community. Children who soon tire of complaining, because they consider adults totally unable to understand and act in their favor. They feel crushed in a stranglehold from which they can't wait to come out with the age of majority. But even this is a difficult option to realize, without a solid professional preparation, without economic autonomy and above all with the fragile personality of those who have only received disappointments and frustrations from life until now.

Some old English novels of the late nineteenth century have traced many stories of these children, placed in a scenario substantially different from ours for socio-economic conditions, but not so different for the experiences of abandonment, cruelty, loss of meaning that accompanies these lives broken and hands them over to new risks and new manipulations. Many of the testimonies collected in this book run the risk of being rejected as not being sufficiently true. I don't know: I don't know the cases personally and I didn't want to deepen them in the concreteness of the reported data. Antonella Betti chose them with her sensitivity and with her personal exposure to this suffering that she told not with the detachment of the scholar who makes a chronicle or enunciation of principles. He has chosen the path of sharing, of empathy; the role of those who are inside the story and walk side by side with each of its protagonists. In a sense, he is each of them and he talks to them, even before talking about them. Nor does he assume the role of who speaks for them, in their place. He has too much respect for the pain that life has inflicted on these fragile lives, so he just lets them talk, even slipping into some very subjective interpretations. But it is not his subjectivity that replaces that of the protagonists; it is their still sick subjectivity that takes the floor and denounces the many injustices suffered: without being and without feeling guilty. That's how it went, they seem to mean resigned. But the more this resignation of so many lives broken by indifference as well as violence becomes shared, the more the desire to do them justice is triggered. At least by removing them from the anonymity of silence, of the unspoken and therefore in a certain sense of the not happening.

In many cases it was a question of forced expulsion, of interventions that took place against the will of the parents, or at least against the will of one of the parents, with the harshness of a law that was applied without taking into account the personal pain of the little ones. and the wrongs of the parents have been made to fall on the minors, while the youngest protested their innocence without anyone really grasping the request for help. Immaturity in some families has become a sufficient reason to remove children and consign them to the coldness of an apparatus that has limited itself to satisfying basic material needs and little more, ignoring the much deeper and more rooted ones of their affective and emotional life; their autonomy and their self-esteem; of the interaction with the peer group and the possibility of sharing activities of many types with them.

Antonella Betti talks about the need to acquire a greater awareness of our negligence, which makes us stay away from specific checks in an issue that forever breaks many human lives and many families. Life is sacred, says the author, like the family and must be protected in all its forms. For this reason it does not shirk the burden of reporting on an essential fact: in Italy it is not known how many children are declared adoptable by the Juvenile Courts because there is in fact no database. And this is all the more serious if we consider the economic implications of what has been defined as the darkest Italian economic business: the too easy reliance and / or adoption of tens of thousands of boys and girls in the relentless machinery of justice. We would need, even at the parliamentary level, a Commission of Inquiry that would shed light on all these issues and would allow us to collect much more precise data than those we have today. The cases of abused, abused children, exposed early to experiences bordering on legality or even frankly illegal, such as drug dealing, are challenges that we cannot ignore and that the book denounces in harsh and raw language.

But we lack complete, concrete data and we lack their consolidated form, whether it is quantitative data: how many children are in foster care, in the family home or in similar structures; how many family homes, reception facilities, foster families are there. But we do not even know what are the reasons for the removal of a minor from his family and what is the process by which this decision is reached; we are talking about the protection of the child's interest but we do not even know who guarantees and how it is ensured that the boy has given his informed consent to the new accommodation and has clearly stated what he prefers. At a macro-economic level we do not know how much each of these children costs and how much they cost as a whole; how the amount allocated to them is distributed at the inter-ministerial level; we ask ourselves with what parameters we evaluate the situation of a boy before removing him; during his departure, and on his return "home". It would be very interesting to be able to make a balance of skills for a boy from the date of his taking charge, and along the salient stages that characterize his life, up to his age of majority. But it also escapes us what are the measures that are put in place to support the family and facilitate their difficult role with the aim of getting the boy back to his home as soon as possible. But it would also be important to understand how it is possible to ensure that a boy who is estranged from his parents, even by one of them, can maintain the relationship with his grandparents and with the previous reference group: school, sport, etc ... questions underlying the author of the book throughout the course of the text, so that it is not only a denunciation of very serious things that happen to the detriment of minors, but also a proposal for improvement and full of humanity. And perhaps it is precisely from here that we should start again ... It is a complex book, on which one may not agree, but which cannot in any case be ignored ... A courageous book, with freshness of the layman, who however has the strength of unresigned indignation and asks for justice, demands it, begs it, and for this very reason deserves listening!

Sen. Paola Binetti Child Neuropsychiatrist

INTRODUCTION

RECONSTRUCTION AND DATA ANALYSIS OF THE PHENOMENON

The Spanish story is sadly connected to the Italian one, unfortunately. For about 40-50 years, the judges are not always too 'super- partes ', with a multidisciplinary team composed of: social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, 'kidnapping' children with deceit and futile reasons. Although, however, natural-biological and living mothers are desperately looking for their children / children in fact stolen from the state 'illegally', these children through this machine / spiral either go up for adoption (even just born or a few months old) or worse still in the family-homes: in fact the 'concentration camps' that welcome them in this real 'holocaust' of children.

In this emerging social context, what is silently happening and continuing to happen is alarming: from children 'stolen' and given up for adoption immediately after birth in foster homes, to the abuse of power of juvenile judges and juvenile magistrates with a multi-team -disciplinary (social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists) who contribute to further generate the psychological violence that is actually perceived, and that I still feel alive on my skin. Even today, after all this time, the abuse of power persists, silenced by the deaf and mute voice of the parents who remain still and paralyzed by the threats received; there is still too much abuse of power in the Juvenile Courts, throughout Italy, as well as in the judiciary itself, which does not go to the bottom, rather covers up, in order to cover up facts so vile that they are a real failure of society; finally, there is still too much bureaucracy that does not absolutely encourage people to report any violence and / or deprivation suffered in general.

This phenomenon is not only a complete failure of society but it focuses on the awareness that we all live around too many injustices, linked to total negligence and the absence of specific checks in a theme that breaks human and family lives forever. Life is as sacred as the family and must be protected in all its forms. However, it is not known how many children are declared adoptable by the Juvenile Courts because there is in fact no database and this is aberrant, as it is aberrant that juvenile judges have all this power to the exclusive detriment of children.

The cases of 'cot deaths' are also linked to all this, they are all fragments of stories from associations of family members and grandparents, victims of a sneaky and petty theft: that of children. If you only think that in Italy 40,000 children a year are stolen with this system, we are talking about 80,000 parents and 120-150,000 relatives who are deprived of a child, a nephew, a cousin and so on. It is a huge and frightening fact if only it extends throughout Italy and if it also extends to European level in Spain, however silenced, the parents shout but do not hear them, they ask screaming and fight for justice, but no one gives them voice. The Italian figure speaks of 265 reported cases, equated to the Spanish figure which speaks of 261 cases. In fact, however, 300-400,000 children have been stolen by the state from their natural parents in five decades. So far all the appeals and complaints have been unheard and no one has taken up their appeal, their cry for help. Children declared 'dead' ”at the moment of birth, stolen from their parents, snatched from their lives as soon as they are born and given to other families to be raised; children torn from their parents with futile reasons to be placed in foster homes to create business. A true criminal association, a true legal criminal organization because of a State matrix, made up of a multi-disciplinary team headed by an unsuspected juvenile judge and in cases of cot deaths also of corrupt gynecologists. Many families destroyed forever by this system that attacks the dignity of the human being and makes people live in half. They are lives broken by a guillotine called: business. It seems that money is of exclusive interest, not the exclusive well-being of minors, and all this is really reprehensible as well as chilling.