Unconquered E-Book

Adam Davis

• Herausgeber: BroadStreet Publishing Group, LLC
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2023

Seitenzahl: 289

Beschreibung

Face your pain. Live unconquered. Trauma is notorious for trapping people in the pain of their past. When you live in defeat, it can be difficult to embrace the hope and victory available in Christ. Former law enforcement officer Adam Davis knows what it's like to feel defeated. In Unconquered, Davis bravely shares his personal experiences with abuse, failure, and mental health battles and the biblical truths that empowered him to choose faith over fear, truth over lies, and action over defeat. Structured around ten practical principles, Unconquered will help you - surrender to God for healing and forgiveness, - develop healthy habits to renew your mindset, relationships, and behaviors, - discover untapped strength and uncommon resolve, and - transform into a more resilient version of yourself. Allow God to use your past to draw you near and reclaim the abundant life he designed for you.   

Leseprobe

It is a good thing to look around in the midst of the battle and see that you are not alone. A fellow soldier, one who is well-armed and fierce in his opposition to the enemy, is right there beside you. That’s why we love finding that we are on the front lines with men like Adam Davis. Adam’s plea is simple: don’t ignore the pain of living in this broken world. Cry out to God. Plead with him to make you desperate for him. Dump it all in his lap. Seek intimacy with God, and pray that he will align your will with his. As two of Adam’s fellow soldiers in the kingdom of God, we recommend this book to anyone who seeks more, anyone who desires to be liberated from the chains of bondage that we have allowed the enemy to wrap around us.

Al and Phil Robertson, stars, A&E’s Duck Dynasty; cohosts, Unashamed with Phil & Jase Robertson podcast

Unconquered is Adam Davis’s best book yet and one of the most intense, empowering Christian inspirational books ever written! God has used Adam to touch vast numbers of lives over the years with his best-selling books, and his skill and maturity as an author have reached new heights. He has truly brought it all together in this book. How to forgive? Answered! How to police your thoughts? Answered! How to win the first battle of every day? Answered! How to move on from hurt to unconquered spiritual maturity and triumph? Answered! It’s time to take the Unconquered Challenge.

Lt. Col. Dave Grossman, author and coauthor, On Killing, On Combat, On Spiritual Combat, On Hunting, Bulletproof Marriage, and Assassination Generation

Unconquered is an incredible resource not only for first responders and service members but for anyone who wants to crack the code of living a victorious life. I’m honored to endorse my friend Adam and his book Unconquered: 10 Principles to Overcome Adversity and Live above Defeat.

Chad Robichaux, founder, Mighty Oaks Foundation; author, Unfair Advantage and Fight for Us

I personally know the pain of catastrophic failures in my life, and knowing how to apply these principles is one of the reasons I continue fighting and pressing forward. Adam’s vulnerability and authentic approach to sharing deep, painful experiences teach us that no matter what we face, our past doesn’t define us, we can overcome, and we can live unconquered. I highly recommend and endorse Adam and his new book Unconquered: 10 Principles to Overcome Adversity and Live above Defeat.

Tim Kennedy, author, Scars and Stripes

Every time I read one of Adam’s books, I have to remind myself he doesn’t have a background in mental health and psychology because he seamlessly integrates research-based information, psychology, and spirituality to help any reader understand a sound and direct approach to healing with God’s help. Unconquered is the story and a guide for moving through trauma and adversity and shedding the negative influence they can have on our lives. This book has grit because Adam has the courage to share his own personal stories of trauma, struggle, awakening, and triumph. I really could not put this book down and found myself highlighting something in every chapter. If you are feeling alone and tired of the weight from situations in the past, not only will this book help you feel seen, but it will also move you through to a place of living life unconquered.

Cyndi Doyle, LPC-S, NCC, CDWF, CCISM, psychotherapist; founder, Code4Couples

I wish I’d had Adam’s insight when trauma and tragedy met me. This book holds powerful insight you will want to have when you face any level of adversity. The introduction alone is packed with enough punch to disrupt the flow of learned helplessness. From there, it is game on.

Barb Allen, author, Front Toward Enemy; cofounder, The Great American Syndicate

All I can say is wow! Adam had my attention in the first chapter, and I could not stop reading. The way he openly shares about pain, trauma, and healing truly sets the stage for how to live life unconquered. Unconquered will teach you how to fight and come out on the other side without being defined by your past. This book and the principles it contains are going to help thousands.

Rebecca Lynn, author and blogger, Proud Police Wife

Adam captures the very essence of the term unconquered in this heartfelt piece. Many of us have trials and tribulations within our souls’ fabric, which can often help guide others to a path of victory. Adam has mastered the courage to face fears. He also possesses the empathy to connect to generations, and he has honed the gift of articulation, translating thoughts into practical application. I proudly endorse Adam and his latest book, Unconquered: 10 Principles to Overcome Adversity and Live above Defeat. He is a gentleman as well as an industry professional.

Tom Rizzo, author, Copikaze

Adam writes with authenticity, transparency, and vulnerability. He has found a way to leverage pain from the past to live in the moment and recapture hope for a future. Adam’s new book, Unconquered: 10 Principles to Overcome Adversity and Live above Defeat, is a must for anyone who feels defeated. These principles were birthed from personal pain and can now be used by many to fight and fight some more. We were created to live victoriously. Adam knows it, lives it, and has decided now is the time to share it.

John Dowdey, pastor, Church at the Crossing

BroadStreet Publishing® Group, LLC

Savage, Minnesota, USA

BroadStreetPublishing.com

Unconquered: 10 Principles to Overcome Adversity and Live above Defeat

Copyright © 2023 Adam Davis

9781424565320 (softcover)

9781424565337 (ebook)

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, a Division of Tyndale House Ministries, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version® NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Scripture quotations marked ESV are taken from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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Cover and interior by Garborg Design Works | garborgdesign.com

Printed in China

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DEDICATION

To every man and woman who has silently carried the pain of childhood abuse of any kind;

to every man and woman who lost the will to live, but still you fight;

to every man and woman who has lost a loved one to suicide;

to those who continue to battle their demons;

this book is for you.

Fight like hell.

Live unconquered.

This book contains material regarding sexual abuse and suicidal ideation and is not intended as a substitute for the medical advice of licensed therapists or physicians. You should regularly consult a medical professional in matters relating to your mental and physical health needs. If at any time you find yourself wrestling with suicidal thoughts, contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988.

CONTENTS

Foreword by Marcus Luttrell

Introduction  Don’t Underestimate the Battle

Principle #1  Acknowledge the Pain, but Seek the Healer

Principle #2  Controlling Yourself

Principle #3  Now Is the Time

Principle #4  Faith to Forgive

Principle #5  Police Your Thoughts

Principle #6  The Significance of Surrender

Principle #7  Relational Power

Principle #8  The Mystery of Purpose

Principle #9  The Antidote for Complacency

Principle #10An Uncommon Resolve

Conclusion   Final Thoughts on Life, Death, and Eternity

Note for My Brothers and Sisters in Law Enforcement

Ready for Anything

Condition Yellow

Acknowledgments

Endnotes

About the Author

FOREWORD BY MARCUS LUTTRELL

I first met Adam in early 2019 when Lt. Col. Dave Grossman recommended that he be a guest on my podcast, Team Never Quit, shortly after the release of their book Bulletproof Marriage: A 90-Day Devotional. From the time I met Adam during that interview, it was like we had known each other our entire lives. After our interview concluded, the producer gave me Adam’s number, and I reached out to him. Since then, I have invited him, along with his family, to my family’s place out in Texas and even introduced him at a recent event in New Jersey (you’re welcome, redneck cupid!). I say that jokingly because he doesn’t look like someone who writes books; he looks like someone who should be a bouncer in a honky-tonk somewhere, though he’s written several books on marriage and relationships for sheepdogs. We are proud to have Adam as a part of our Team Never Quit lineup of speakers.

Adam’s writing and his speaking resonate with many because he is relatable. His story is powerful and a reminder that every American—including the blue-collar crowd, the working class, the backbone of our country—can overcome and live extraordinary lives of victory. I recognize warriors and the warrior spirit. That spirit is within every American, but too often, we get buried under the weight of life’s burdens, and we get caught up in our heads. We let those thoughts begin to dictate our path and our lives.

If you adopt the Unconquered Code Adam has created here, you will find that you truly can live unconquered. You will realize just how possible it is for you to live above defeat and live victoriously, no matter what.

We are living in challenging times, but that’s what Americans do. That’s who we are. We don’t back down in the face of adversity, and we don’t back down when we have to face our pain. Unconquered: 10 Principles to Overcome Adversity and Live above Defeat will give you the courage to face your pain. So I think it is only appropriate that a Texan write the foreword and that the last story in the book is about a Texan who “ate shotgun shells for breakfast” and survived. Listen, our mission at Team Never Quit is to inspire people to stay in the fight, to remind them they are never out of the fight. Adam’s mission is to remind you that you are never defeated as long as you stay in the fight.

If you know anything about most military service members (especially team guys) or other first responders, you know we aren’t known for being “religious.” But we do have faith, and we do hold that dear to our hearts. Adam will guide you on a path to revealing the mindset and spirit of a warrior and becoming someone who understands the importance of faith in a life unconquered.

I want to challenge you to read every word, adopt the Unconquered Code as part of your life, and practice the powerful principles Adam has provided in the following pages. If you do, you will not only come out stronger, but you will also learn what it means to fight like hell and live unconquered.

Never quit!

Marcus Luttrell

US Navy SEAL, Retired

Author of Lone Survivor

Host of the Team Never Quit podcast

INTRODUCTION

DON’T UNDERESTIMATE THE BATTLE

“Which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?”

LUKE 14:28 ESV

Nearly three years after the attacks on Pearl Harbor, American victories in the Southwest and Central Pacific took the fight within close proximity of Japan in the Battle of Peleliu, which was codenamed Operation Stalemate. American bombers were within striking distance of the Japanese main islands from bases secured during a campaign known as the Mariana Islands campaign from June to August 1944. According to Major General William Rupertus, the commander of the First Marine Division, the battle was only supposed to last four days; however, the campaign to occupy the airstrip on Peleliu lasted nearly three months.

The United States emerged victoriously, but it came at a high cost. According to the Marine Corps University website, there were over six thousand casualties.1 This island was crucial for the United States to take because of its proximity between the United States and Japan, and it ended up being one of the bloodiest battles in World War II. Since 2009, civilians and military members have discovered over thirty-two thousand munitions on Peleliu.2 While the government has attempted to discharge these bombs to make the island safer, undetonated explosives remain, and now, many decades after this Pacific paradise was a war zone, tourists must adhere to warning signs and designated walkways because of the number of undetonated explosives.

When I think about the stories from the Battle of Peleliu, I’m reminded of how our past can affect every aspect of our lives. And in its allegorical form, it’s an accurate representation of the way many feel defeated by past life experiences. Our past has the potential to be devastating to our present and future and can shape our perspective on life. We’ve all been like that Pacific island, a place where American forces fought heavy battles, and all that we recall are the charred remains and undetonated bombs, waiting for the moment they detonate and take out innocent relationships and sabotage good opportunities.

I don’t know what you’ve battled or what caused you the most pain in life, but I know you’re not alone in the fight. It’s not my intention to come across as shortsighted here nor as insensitive, but the reality is that many of us have endured abuse, tragedy, and deep soul pain. It could have resulted from your job in service to your country and the things you have witnessed or had to do in the course of your duty. Or it could have come at the hands of a family member, friend, or neighbor in the form of sexual abuse or physical abuse as a child. But as American military leaders and first responders do after any training or operation, we should look at our lives and determine what lessons we can learn from the pain we’ve experienced.

Through the lessons my experiences have taught me, one thing I’ve taken away is the opportunity to learn from the pain. I have learned how to become a better version of myself, a stronger, more resilient version. Experiences teach us to expect pain, to endure, to embrace trials and suffering—not because we’re strange but because we know there will be some good to come from it all. The addiction to comfort is killing our ability to reach our maximum potential. The addiction to ease and comfort creates weak societies.

We’re a different generation than the breed of warriors who fought for our nation in World War II. When I think about the men who fought for America then, I think about a portion of Eugene Sledge’s memoir entitled With the Old Breed: At Peleliu and Okinawa. In this acclaimed first-person account of the Battle of Peleliu, Sledge writes,

It was hard to sleep that night [before the invasion]. I thought of home, my parents, my friends—and whether I would do my duty, be wounded and disabled, or be killed. I concluded that it was impossible for me to be killed, because God loved me. Then I told myself that God loved us all and that many would die or be ruined physically or mentally or both by the next morning and in the days following. My heart pounded, and I broke out in a cold sweat. Finally, I called myself a…coward and eventually fell asleep saying the Lord’s Prayer to myself.”3

Mr. Sledge provides an incredible perspective of someone facing what we could easily describe as a nightmare if we could fathom what he saw the next day and felt that night. Imagine knowing you were walking into a death trap tomorrow, and you still went. You trusted in God, and through him, you found your strength, your peace, and your blessed assurance. What assurance—that neither death nor life can separate us from the love of God! When we are in the throes of sorrow, his love may seem to be an eternity away, but that assurance and his promises are comforting and give us strength for the fight.

Identify the Undetonated Explosives in Your Life

As you read this, the memories of life’s battles may still be freshly lingering in your mind. The embers may still be redhot from the fires that roared through your life. Right now, you may be experiencing soul-wrenching pain; it feels like your throat is being squeezed, and you can’t breathe. Anxiety is a real thing. Panic attacks. I get it. You’re still in the fight.

During my training phase in the police academy, we were taught how to handle a number of different potential dangers we might face on duty. Our instructors would bring up things like high-risk traffic stops, felony warrants, high-speed pursuits, foot pursuits, shoot-outs, and ground fighting. The reality is that you can spend your entire life training and preparing, and the only battle you get into is the one you didn’t train to fight. There are going to be situations in which you are victorious only because of God. Otherwise, they are no-win situations.

I want to point out some clear strategies the enemy will use, some areas where our armor may have a vulnerability, how we can best prepare for what lies ahead, and how to best overcome what is behind us. It’s important to identify the areas where the enemy may attack you before the campaign against you is advanced. Think about each of these areas and see if any apply to you.

1.Ignoring the Pain: Do you pretend it didn’t happen? Ignoring the pain leads to a chain reaction of additional battles that you could avoid. Ignoring is not the answer, but addressing these wounds will lead to healing.

2.Refusing to Surrender: Do you try to control others or manipulate circumstances? When you try to heal through your own power, you’re not surrendering as God intends. There’s no such thing as controlling your surrender to God. It must be 100 percent, open hands, open hearts. We cannot control others, nor can we orchestrate or manipulate the circumstances of life in our favor. Relinquish control to the one who created life itself, be committed to taking the actions you are responsible for taking to find healing and freedom, and don’t worry about what others do or say.

3.Living in the Past: If you are still celebrating a victory from ten years ago but not facing the battles that left you wounded, you have been deceived. There’s a difference between living in the past and learning from it. Living in it keeps you from growing, maturing, and advancing. Learning from it makes you a mature, strong, and capable warrior who will overcome any battle that comes your way.

4.Refusing to Forgive: Maybe it makes you feel like you still retain some degree of wholeness, but it is not helping you at all. It’s a lie from the enemy and one of the most sensitive of undetonated bombs in your life. Forgiving the offender sets you free.

5.Emotions Gone Wild: It may feel like you’re the only one who has an emotional roller-coaster ride in life, but we need only look to the Old Testament to see how common this really is. David was an emotional wreck in the book of Psalms. But we must take captive our thoughts and emotions and align them with the truth of God’s Word.

6.Doing Things Your Way: This makes for good song lyrics but not a good life. Being in total control of everything is exhausting and overrated.

7.Toxic Relationships: There are some folks you need to distance yourself from. You know who they are, and unless there is abuse present, I am not referring to your marriage.

8.The Lost Wanderer: All your time and energy are expended fighting to find your way. You lack direction, aren’t clear on your purpose, and even wonder if it is all worth it. Pain can cause you to lose focus of your true north and divine purpose and throw you into a pit of confusion.

9.The Know-It-All: Your brain is stale, your heart is hard, and you’ve grown complacent. You’re a statistic waiting to happen in every area of your life. It’s time to get back to the warrior you were before the pain and before the pressure of life had an impact on you.

10.You Quit Before You Start: Quitting, like winning, begins in the mind; every time life gets hard, you want to quit. That changes here and now. Remove quit from your vocabulary and prepare to live on a different level of winning.

Those are ten notes I wrote to myself over the past several years as I navigated my own deep soul pain. I tried to carry it all on my own strength and abilities, and it almost killed me. The good news? You don’t have to carry the burden of pain or past sin or the memories of traumatic experiences. We have a compassionate God, one who not only forgives us for those things when we trust Jesus with our lives but who also forgets that we ever did anything wrong. Throughout God’s Word, we are reminded that, while he knows our pains, he keeps no record of the sins we give to him. Every aspect of our lives suffers when we allow the enemy to deceive us into believing we are too far gone, convince us that we are broken beyond repair, or cause us to be afraid of seeking help. The past has prepared us for the present—there are no accidents. We can either grow from it, learn from it, or wallow in it.

Fear is one battle we must all face. We must choose whether we will let fear lead us or whether we walk in faith. Those two things, fear and faith, cannot cohabitate in our lives. We must choose which one will be the primary influencer in our decisions, behaviors, thoughts, and words. We must also face the battle to forgive. God has forgiven us the moment we ask, but seeking the forgiveness of someone you have offended can be much more challenging.

The greater battle is whether you will forgive those who have deeply hurt you. If I were to ask you if those people who hurt you are worthy of forgiveness, you’d likely say no. It’s hard for me to fathom why or how God can or would even consider forgiving some human beings for the atrocities they’ve committed, but then that’s me judging. I can’t decide who is forgiven or who isn’t. Fear tells us that if we forgive someone who hurt us, then we are weak or setting ourselves up to be hurt again. I didn’t feel like the people who hurt me deserved to be forgiven, and then I remembered that when I least deserve forgiveness, God still forgives me.

Many of our underlying issues are unaddressed wounds from past traumatic experiences. To find healing, it is required that we lay these wounds down. It begins here, remodeling our minds with a better way of thinking. I’m not a victim. I am more than a conqueror. Don’t bottle it up as I did for over two decades. It bears no good fruit, only burdens and more pain.

During a battle, it’s not uncommon to feel God has forsaken you; you are not alone! In Psalm 22:1–2 (NIV), David expressed feelings of anguish and abandonment, echoing what Jesus said on the cross:

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish?

My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest.

If David, and Jesus, felt abandoned by God in the most painful places of their lives, I think it’s okay if we acknowledge when we feel that way too. While this is not a book on trauma or pain specifically, it is written with the understanding that many have had life-changing traumatic experiences and still deal with the fallout from them to this day.

There’s someone in your life you can reach out to, someone you can talk to, someone who is waiting for the opportunity to listen to you. Maybe you’re healed, and it is you who is standing ready to reach out and help a brother or sister who is battling their own demons. We are all bearing scars from battles in this life, and none of us are unwounded, but we are all unconquered if we have surrendered our lives to Christ. Do not allow Satan to lure you into isolation because of your challenges. Fear will ruin your life. It can and will destroy you, and it is very seductive. Fear is empowered and given more authority in isolation.

Matters of the Mind

What do you think of when you see the Disney franchise or the name Walt Disney? What about Benjamin Franklin? Let’s add Vincent van Gogh, Stephen King, and Albert Einstein to the list. All the names listed above are people who have been incredibly successful, and we see the fruit of their labor to this day. But we often do not see the incredible adversity they endured and overcame to achieve greatness. Like Disney, Franklin, Van Gogh, King, or Einstein, under the pinnacle of success is a massive mountain of rejection, failure, disappointment, and pain. There are no “overnight” success stories. There is, however, a large population of people who have trained, attempted their feat, and lost. Their next step was to repeat steps one through three until they got it right.

It is my belief that we can learn something from everyone and from every circumstance, good or bad. Pleasurable or painful. Experiences that give us great joy or terrible sorrow. Mental defeat, sometimes abbreviated as MD, refers to the cognitive quit in your mind resulting from chronic pain or post-traumatic stress disorder (some refer to it as PTSD). If our minds quit, our bodies follow. And maybe you once had a dream, and you watched that dream die. Maybe you were on a journey to get fit and healthy, but you were injured and have regressed. Maybe your business venture failed, or maybe you’ve relapsed back into the grip of addiction. That’s where we truly quit: in our minds.

We must train our minds to abandon the desire to quit, the need for easy or comfortable living. If our minds can overcome the desire to quit and push us further than we’ve ever been, our bodies will follow. But if our spirit is wounded, our minds and bodies have a significantly more challenging battle. Each of the individuals listed in the examples above overcame the desire to quit when they faced adversity.

Let’s look deeper into their lives, starting with Walt Disney. He was fired from his first job because he was not “creative or imaginative” enough. Looking back, I think we can all agree that the person who fired him completely failed. Or did they? Was Walt Disney not creative or imaginative enough at the time? Perhaps those traits only developed and matured as he persisted and before launching the largest entertainment company in modern history.

What about Benjamin Franklin? At ten years of age, his parents could no longer afford to send him to school. But he did not let that stop him from obtaining an excellent education. Instead of quitting, Franklin read books and educated himself, ultimately leading to the invention of lightning rods, bifocals, and other devices, not to mention his invaluable contributions as a writer, statesman, and diplomat.

During his lifetime, Vincent van Gogh sold one painting out of his nine hundred pieces of art. Now, long after his death, he remains one of the most influential figures of the Western arts.

One of my personal favorites is the story of Stephen King. Now, I am no fan of horror and gore, but the mind of Stephen King and his mastery of the craft of writing has made me a fan of his. King, one of the most successful writers of our time, had his first book rejected by over thirty publishers. He literally threw the book in the trash until his wife discovered it and encouraged him to finish it. He has since sold over 350 million copies of his books.

Albert Einstein didn’t speak for the first three years of his life, and many of his teachers assumed he was just lazy because of his focus on abstract concepts. Ultimately, he would grow up and develop the theory of relativity, the quantum theory of light, and other important theories of matter and energy.

There have been a number of research studies conducted on the potential of the human mind, and some have inaccurately stated that we only use 10 percent of our brains, leaving 90 percent of our brainpower untapped. While this makes for good entertainment and the basis for many motivational theories, it’s not totally accurate. What remains accurate is hard work. Give 100 percent effort 100 percent of the time and do it for the right reasons, with the right heart, the right way, all the time. Those United States Marines who took Peleliu didn’t quit. Nor did the first responders who were at Ground Zero on September 11, 2001. Nobody remembers a quitter, and nobody remembers what you almost accomplished. We are limitless in our potential when we depend on the power of God to be our source of strength, the foundation of our endurance, and the light that leads us down the path of victory.

If you quit when it gets tough, you forfeit all the hard work, all the pain, the sacrifice, and the potential. If it’s worth suffering for, it’s worth enduring, and walking away from the battle to overcome adversity simply isn’t an option. There are no great victories without great adversity, and our legacies are either going to be that we quit when things were overwhelming, when we were outnumbered and outmanned, or we will be remembered as being tenacious, relentless, and enduring. It’s something we must decide in our minds, in our hearts, that we will absolutely do.

The Unconquered Code

As you read this, I am sure it brings to the forefront of your mind some massive failure in your life, a point when you backed down, moved on, and left that mountain unconquered. Our human instinct is to do whatever is necessary to eliminate and escape the pain as fast as possible when too often there is a lesson to learn, a pinnacle to reach, and a gift to discover. I used to be a quitter, so I know the deep regret that comes with quitting when things get hard.

Throughout my life, I have always tried to figure out how things work, whether it was toy cars as a child or actual vehicles, firearms, computers, websites, or human behavior as an adult. In trying to figure out what lessons I can learn from my failures and pain, I have discovered something about myself and others. I am a husband to Amber, father to our three children, redeemed by God’s love, but most of all, and because of God, I am unconquered. The pain in my life does not negatively define me, but I have tried to allow my experiences to shape me into a better person. Something else I have noticed is that there are some common principles of resilient people. Throughout this book, you will read some true stories, stories of people I know, people I have met, people from whom I have learned great lessons.

As I was preparing to write this book, I looked over my life and the lives of many people I have had the honor of meeting and learning about, and I discovered a few key principles. I call this the Unconquered Code:

1.Acknowledge the pain. Ignoring it doesn’t make it disappear. Seek the heavenly healer.

2.Recognize you are in control of yourself and that you are in control of no one else.

3.Live in the present, hope for the future, and learn from the past.

4.Discover freedom in forgiveness. It’s not for the offender; it’s for you.

5.Take captive your emotions to align them with the truth of God’s Word.

6.Experience true power through daily surrender to Christ.

7.Cherish your healthy relationships and distance yourself from toxic relationships.

8.Seek to know your divine and unique purpose in life and the direction God is leading you to take.

9.Accept responsibility for creating healthy daily habits in your life.

10.Resolve at this moment that no pain, no sin, no mistake, nothing in this world will defeat you. Your declaration today becomes I am unconquered. In Christ I live; in Christ I die. I live unconquered; I die unconquered.

Adopt this new code and put it into practice in your own life. I have taken the lessons learned through the most painful experiences and seen how these principles have worked for me. It’s not always easy, and that’s okay. Today, things may seem overwhelming. Your reason may be different from mine, but the mindset and approach to overcoming the past remain the same. Use these moments to discover who you are and who God created you to be.

Your past, your pain, or the events of your life do not define you. You are not a victim. God’s Word defines you as more than a conqueror (see Romans 8:37). Knowing this empowers you to live up to the potential in your life and what the possibilities are for you when you open your hands and let God take the unaddressed pain from you. Our life experiences shape us, and we have a choice for how we can respond to painful circumstances. The freedom to choose is one beauty of this life. And the choice to heal, grow, and live unconquered, no matter how difficult, is still a viable option for every person.

As you begin this journey to living unconquered, I intend to expose the lies of hell, the strategies the enemy will use against you, and the many hazards that will pop up along the way. The power of God is what sets us free; it’s what will set individuals free from their personal prisons of the past and set them on a path to healing and freedom in Christ.