An Unfair Advantage E-Book

Chad Robichaux

• Herausgeber: BroadStreet Publishing Group, LLC
• Kategorie: Sachliteratur, Reportagen, Biografien
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2020

Seitenzahl: 320

Beschreibung

Take a journey with Force Recon Marine and Pro MMA Champion Chad Robichaux as he shares glimpses into the life of special operations, professional fighting, and deep insight into this world's spiritual battles. Chad shares successes and failures experienced in Afghanistan, the MMA cage, and his biggest fights: struggling with PTSD, a near divorce, and almost becoming another veteran suicide statistic. Each chapter shares parallel stories of biblical warriors who faced similar struggles and reveals the unfair advantage that led them to victory in the midst of those battles. Discover that same advantage for the battles you face, and unlock the warrior spirit sewn in your heart by God himself.  

Leseprobe

Our American warriors are the best the world has ever known; their commitment to being the guardians of our republic is exceptional. However, there are times when these men and women are in need of support. An Unfair Advantage is the personal story of one warrior, US Marine Corps Special Operator and Force Reconnaissance member Chad Robichaux. Chad is the pure embodiment of a modern-day Spartan, and he has the résumé to prove it, from the battlefields of Afghanistan to the ring of combat as a mixed martial arts (MMA) champion. However, the outward warrior hid an inner pain, a hurt that could not be filled with the prescriptions of the secular world. Chad tried worldly means to heal himself from post-traumatic stress and failed. This walking man of steel was being weakened by the kryptonite that almost ended his marriage and his life. Then Chad found the real antidote, the power of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ with whom we can do all things. Chad’s victory led him to establish the Mighty Oaks Warrior Foundation that heals warriors with the blessings of allowing Jesus Christ into their lives, and they have not lost a warrior. An Unfair Advantage is a must-read to give evidence of the real battle, the unseen enemy our troops face. Yet, regardless, it gives witness that the full armor of God is the best means by which our warriors can win on the spiritual battlefield. It is not about another policy, just trusting in a Savior who has overcome it all (John 16:33).

Allen B. West

Member of the 112th US Congress; US Army Lt. Colonel (Ret.); Iraq Veteran; Bronze Star Recipient; Author; Fox News Contributor; Senior Fellow, London Center for Policy Research

An Unfair Advantage is a must-read. I served as a United States marine for 36 years. It was truly an honor to serve with warriors like Chad Robichaux. Chad’s personal experience with post-traumatic stress (PTS) after returning from combat is something that many warriors who’ve seen the “horrors of combat” can relate to. Chad’s personal story will touch many warriors experiencing PTS and their families. It is my sincere hope that Chad’s story of the power of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, who led him to victory, will touch other great warriors and their families going through the “horrors of combat” and lead them to victory on the spiritual battlefield. Chad’s book is an example of Joshua 1:9. “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” This book will be a blessing to others!

Sergeant Major Carlton Kent

16th Sergeant Major of the US Marine Corps (Ret.); Navy Distinguished Service Medal; Legion of Merit, Bronze Star Recipient

God is the Creator. He made warriors. He made men. He made them with a purpose. If you don’t find that purpose you’ll be as unfulfilled as if you’re trying to use a screwdriver for a shovel or a hammer for a mop. An Unfair Advantage helps men and warriors find the very purpose for which they were created.

David Barton, “America’s Historian”

Founder & President of WallBuilders; New York Times Best-Selling Author, The Jefferson Lies; Time Magazine’s Top 25 Most-Influential Evangelicals

Every boy dreams of being a hero. When boys become men, success is what they pursue while deep down still dreaming of being a hero of noble character. Success often comes at the expense of those things that matter most. Chad’s story is not every man’s story, but it is a story for every man—a story of success, failure, and, most important, redemption.

Robert “Bill” Coate

USMC Colonel (30 yrs., Ret.); Intelligence Commander and Iraq Veteran; Legion of Merit and Bronze Star Recipient; Author of You: The Last Best Hope to Restore Our Nation

Operating from the depths of darkness in enemy territory, a recon marine maneuvers through life’s minefields. Ambushes from multiple directions come against him as he has become a high-value target in the enemy’s scope. During this all-out assault, the commander of the universe, who holds all power and might in the palm of his hand, launches a quick reaction force to save one soul. From that moment on, Chad Robichaux becomes one of God’s elite Spartans and dedicates his life and soul in the war against spiritual tyranny. Today, Chad and his Spartan wife Kathy have become an unstoppable force for good as they serve, helping to liberate the oppressed with the message of freedom. An Unfair Advantage is an intense spiritual fight, good against evil. It’s a riveting message that gives anyone who is broken or hurting a sense of hope. It’s a must-read!

F. Damon Friedman, PhD

USAF Special Tactics Officer (Combat Controller); Lieutenant Colonel; Iraq and Afghanistan Veteran; 3× Bronze Star Recipient (one for combat valor); Founder & President, SOF Missions; Executive Producer, Surrender Only To One

Warriors more than anyone need to understand the spiritual implications of their chosen trade. God has cherished those he has sent into battle from the beginning, and Chad explains how Jesus is the greatest warrior of them all. Take these lessons in spiritual resilience from a true warrior and apply them to your life.

Matthew Heidt, EMBA

US Navy SEAL Senior Chief (Ret.); Iraq Veteran; Bronze Star Recipient for Combat Valor

Chad Robichaux puts the mindset of a true martial artist in his approach to life’s many challenges with great success. It is an honor to know his stories of battle in war, competition, and life. And a pleasure to have him as a friend.

Carlson Gracie Jr., “The Prince of Jiu-Jitsu”

Original Gracie Family Member; Head of Carlson Gracie Association

It is incredibly rare to find a book that challenges the human soul with real-life stories that will make your heart race, and break, on almost every page. This is one of those books! A must-read, and perfect gift, for anyone who is struggling with the big questions of life and who is tired of hearing the same old clichés to try to explain them away.

Chris Brown

Senior Pastor, North Coast Church, Vista, California

An Unfair Advantage is truly transformational and is a must-read for every man. Chad has a way of weaving his own story of success and failure together in such a captivating way that you will have a hard time putting this book down. Every competitor I know is always looking for the “advantage,” and Chad adds a twist to it in a way that you will never forget. We all talk about the X factor, but few can objectively tell us what it actually is. Chad not only tells us what it is and how to get it, but he also illustrates it from one of the most fascinating life stories you will ever read. What makes Chad so unique is his brutal honesty and humility; he never pulls a punch! It is refreshing to meet a “man’s man” who is so secure in his masculinity that he doesn’t try to hide or excuse anything. As a pastor and father, I wholeheartedly recommend this book to you!

Tom Ferrell

Lead Pastor of Atascadero Bible Church

BroadStreet Publishing Group®, LLC

Savage, Minnesota USA

www.broadstreetpublishing.com

AN UNFAIR ADVANTAGE: Victory in the Midst of Battle

Copyright © 2020 Chad M. Robichaux

978-1-4245-6176-6 (paperback)

978-1-4245-6175-9 (hardcover)

978-1-4245-6177-3 (e-book)

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without permission in writing from the publisher.

All Scripture quotations are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version® NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked ESV are taken from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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Cover and interior by Garborg Design at GarborgDesign.com

Printed in the United States of America

20 21 22 23 24 5 4 3 2 1

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”

ISAIAH 6:8 NIV

DEDICATION

From time to time, God causes men to be born, and thou art one of them, who have a lust to go abroad at the risk of their lives and discover news. Today it may be of far-off things; tomorrow of some hidden mountain; and the next day of some near-by men who have done a foolishness against the State. These souls are very few; and of these few, not more than ten are of the best.

RUDYARD KIPLING

I wrote this book to challenge and inspire all men to rise up and be the warriors God created us to be. It is based on my own experiences as a warrior, and it is dedicated to each and every brave member of the United States military who has donned the uniform since 1775, defending the freedoms that allow me to write these things.

Nothing is more powerful on the battlefield than a man empowered by the confidence that comes from the knowledge that he is not fighting alone but acting within the will of God. Such men have stood boldly in the face of certain death and overcome extreme odds and adversity—never because it was easy but because it was right. These are the men who will have extra help and extra internal resources over their enemy or any personal struggles they may face. They will have an advantage over their opponent that is so great—so lopsided—that it almost seems like an unfair advantage.

I pray this book lights a fire deep within all men and all warriors, past and present, who read it. May they choose to boldly step forward into the battles ahead, fully equipped with the capability to confront and conquer all things.

CONTENTS

Foreword by Lt. General “Jerry” Boykin

Introduction

1The Killing Pool

2Getting off the X

3Valley of the Shadow of Death

4The Girl on Chicken Street

5Created for a Purpose

6You Killed Me

7The Captain of the Titanic

8Out of Control

9Trading My Birthright

10Not the Solution

11Who’s in Your Corner?

12A Pre-Decision to Win

13A Time to Fight

14A Warrior’s Legacy

15The Good Fight

16Courage Beyond Fear

Bibliography

Afterword by Jeremy Stalnecker

Resources

Acknowledgments

About the Author

The Mighty Oaks Journey

Study Guide

FOREWORD

BY LIEUTENANT GENERAL “JERRY” BOYKIN

Uncle Eldon was always different from the rest of the Boykin men when I was growing up in rural North Carolina. As a youngster, I was always conscious of the fact that Eldon drank constantly, never seemed to have a job, and spoke frequently of things that made no sense to me or my cousins who were my age. Eldon often mentioned his visits to the Veterans Administration hospital in Durham, North Carolina, where they never seemed to be able to help him with his issues. He often came home from a hospital visit with more drugs to help him sleep, but nothing they gave him seemed to change his behavior, which was often characterized by a distant stare at nothing in particular. He frequently spoke of the “ones who died” but without context or a clear reference to exactly of whom he was speaking.

I was keenly aware that “Uncle” Eldon was actually my second cousin and was about my dad’s age. I assumed that Eldon was simply different and that maybe the alcohol made him talk and act strangely. Finally, one day my grandmother casually mentioned that Eldon had been at Pearl Harbor when it was attacked. That grabbed my interest because I knew a little about the Japanese attack on December 7, 1941, but I was not well versed on what had actually occurred on that “date which will live in infamy.” So, I did two things that helped me understand my uncle better: I studied the attack on Pearl Harbor, and I questioned my dad about what Eldon had experienced. The first task was easy as there were plenty of references available for my study. But when I asked Dad about what had happened to Eldon at Pearl Harbor, he was reluctant to discuss Eldon’s experience. It was as if this was a family secret that no one was eager to discuss, almost as if there was something shameful about what had occurred during Eldon’s time in the US Army of the Pacific. Confused, I sought out other family members who might be willing to give me the information I was seeking. Eventually, my dad’s oldest sister sat down with me and explained what had happened to Eldon on that Sunday morning in the Pacific when the Japanese attacked the US bases in Hawaii, thus bringing America into World War II.

My Aunt Elizabeth was a registered nurse and a woman of considerable patience and great wisdom. She saw that my curiosity was sincere, and she judged that, as a young teenager, I was at an appropriate age to understand the story she would tell me. She explained that on the morning of December 7, Eldon was a young sergeant tasked as “Charge of Quarters” (CQ) for his company at Hickman Field, where US Army Air Corps airplanes were stationed. As the CQ, Eldon was responsible for alerting his fellow soldiers of any impending danger. The Japanese attack came so quickly and without warning that Eldon was first alerted when Japanese bombs began to fall on the airfield. He ran out of the company headquarters just as enemy bombs exploded along “Battleship Row” adjacent to Ford Island. Confused and desperate to do something to save the men in his company, Eldon ran toward the barracks where the men would be sleeping and relaxing on this Sunday morning. Before he could get to the men, many of them began to pour out of the barracks to see what was happening. As they did, Japanese airplanes strafed the company area, killing and wounding some of the men for whom Eldon felt responsible. He was devastated. Although he continued to run throughout the company area trying to get every man to his assigned battle station, it was too late; the Japanese attack was having a devastating impact on the men and aircraft at Hickman.

Eldon stayed in the US Army at Pearl Harbor until after the war, but he was never the same. He came home in September of 1945 and was soon classified as 100 percent disabled by the Veterans Administration due to “combat stress reaction.” I had never heard that term. My aunt explained that it was used to identify people who had experienced horrible things in war that they could not deal with emotionally. She then looked me in the eye and said, “Jerry, they normally call his condition ‘shell shocked,’ which was first diagnosed during the First World War.”

Over the next few years, as I watched Eldon continue to slide into depression and drink himself to an early grave, the question in my mind was why no one could help him. There had to be someone who could help him to get beyond what he had experienced at Pearl Harbor and overcome his sense of failure because he could not save every man in his company.

Eldon was just one of tens of thousands of men who came out of the Second World War with the same issues and suffered the same fate. Since then, many who have experienced combat in every war or conflict have dealt with the depression, sleeplessness, and anger that accompanies their memories of combat. Sadly, many stories of these warriors end just as tragically as Eldon’s, with a life of alcohol or drug abuse. Some end even worse as many have taken their own lives because of their inability to deal with the emotional stress brought on by their combat experience. Whether it is called “shell shock,” “combat stress reaction,” “combat fatigue,” or “post-traumatic stress disorder” (PTSD)—the most current term—it is a serious problem for many men and women returning from battle, destroying many lives and breaking up many families. The question is whether there is hope for our veterans, or are they simply destined to live depressed, angry, and confused lives?

The US Department of Veterans Affairs has received a great deal of criticism in recent years with incredible stories of veterans having to wait months to get an appointment with a doctor and receive treatment for often life-threatening ailments. While much of this criticism is warranted, it is important to also remember that the number of vets needing care has increased exponentially since the events of September 11, 2001. The VA healthcare system is now treating an unprecedented number of PTSD cases at a time when suicides among vets are at an all-time high. Some estimates range as high as twenty-two vets per day taking their own lives. The burden on the VA system is almost overpowering. One of the consequences of this overload is frequently over-prescribing medications for people diagnosed with PTSD. Medicine certainly may be beneficial in dealing with PTSD, but other things must be more effective and enduring. How do we find those things that can help our PTSD victims to live better lives free of alcohol, drugs, and medications?

Chad Robichaux is one of those combat warriors who came home from war and struggled with the aftermath of his experiences. His marriage was in serious trouble as were his relationships with others he cared about. Chad was not willing to accept that there was any enemy he could not defeat, especially one so ill-defined as PTSD. But the ultimate victory for Chad was not what he expected.

Chad is the epitome of a warrior. Not only is he a USMC recon non-commissioned officer, but he has also been a police officer and is a well-known competitive mixed martial artist. Chad is a tough guy with all the credentials to prove it. But he finally found an enemy that he could not overcome by just being stronger, faster, and tougher than the adversary. This time he was losing his match, and it was the most important one of his life with everything he cared about at stake. He tried everything he knew, but he was failing. There just had to be more. And there was. Submission was the answer, but that is not a word that a cage fighter ever uses, unheard of, no way. How could that be the answer?

The story of Chad’s struggle is one that brings hope to everyone who has been down the same path after returning to life after combat. Chad found the answer to PTSD, and today, he and his wife have committed their lives to assisting others along the path to recovery and victory through their Mighty Oaks program. I have spent time with Mighty Oaks, and I can attest to its power and record of success.

I wish that Eldon had found a program like this. Maybe his life would have been very different. You see, Chad struggled mightily until he submitted his future to God—every aspect of his life—and found victory. Getting to that point was not easy, but he finally became the man God wanted him to be, and now he helps others overcome their struggles as a result of combat. I find his story to be compelling and incredible, and I know that many will be touched and helped by it. Let’s get this story out to those who need to hear it, to those who suffer the same challenges that Chad did.

Lieutenant General “Jerry” Boykin

US Army Special Forces (36 yrs., retired) Founding member of the elite US Army Delta Force US Deputy Undersecretary of Defense for Intelligence Executive Vice President of Family Research Council Author, The Warrior Soul, The Coalition, Never Surrender, Danger Close

www.KingdomWarriors.net

INTRODUCTION

But we also glory in our sufferings,

because we know that suffering produces perseverance;

perseverance, character;

and character, hope.

ROMANS 5:3–4

Despite the many ups and downs, I have been blessed to 1 live an amazing life thus far. I am a husband and a father of three incredible children. I am a lifelong martial artist and grappler, having competed at the highest levels, including as a top world ranked1 pro MMA world champion with an 18–2 pro record,2 and appearing in the sport’s biggest events, such as NBC’s World Series of Fighting, StrikeForce, Bellator FC, and Legacy FC. I am also an accomplished international Brazilian jiu-jitsu competitor and third-degree Carlson Gracie Jr. black belt. Serving as a law enforcement officer, both locally and federally, I have received a Medal of Valor3 for bravery beyond the call of duty.

But one of the proudest legacies of the Robichaux family is that we are a three-generation Marine Corps family of combat veterans. My father served as a marine infantry rifleman. I served as a force reconnaissance marine and DoD contractor (Department of Defense), and my oldest son is now serving as an ANGLICO marine (Air Naval Gunfire Liaison Company). I have had the privilege to serve my country in many ways and places, including eight deployments to Afghanistan as a member of a joint special operations task force.

I have appeared on many national news outlets, ranging from Fox News to USA Today, The Blaze to Christian Post, and many others. And based on my personal experiences, I am considered a subject matter expert on post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), having testified in veterans’ courts regarding combat trauma and PTSD, advised some of the nation’s highest-ranking military flag officers, and advised the current presidential administration on the best and most-effective solutions for veterans’ care. While I do not believe PTS”D” is a disorder, I do use the term in this book for common reference.

In the pages to follow, I intentionally take caution not to mention names of military commands or identify personnel, operational intent, or TTPs (tactics, techniques, and procedures) in order to respect and preserve national security. But I do mention the type of men I served with, and I share a glimpse into the life of special operation missions abroad because this book is about being a warrior, and I have had the privilege to serve with the greatest of them. Through my experiences, I had the privilege to both witness and participate in many incredible situations. Some of these events built us up; others nearly destroyed us, mentally, physically, and spiritually.

Today I continue to serve alongside warriors of the US military through a nonprofit ministry I lead called Mighty Oaks Foundation, which runs Mighty Oaks Warrior Programs. Our primary goal is to bring military warriors to full healing beyond the hard ships of their service by simply aligning them with the lives God created them to live. We also serve in the critical role of preparing our warriors for the battles ahead through combat and spiritual resiliency training programs nationwide.

Part of the process includes looking back at the hardships and experiences of their past and allowing the warriors to come to their own realization that however tragic (or heroic) past events may be, they are not what led them to where they are today. Instead, it’s the choices they make every day. When a man can come to that realization and take responsibility for his life and his future, only then can he move forward into being the man and the warrior God designed him to be.

If you are searching to find purpose because you’ve never felt contented or satisfied, you’re not alone. Even the most successful men—those with medals pinned across their chests and a long list of accolades—seek something more. It’s a burning need so deep that you can’t even put your finger on it. It is the feeling of being out of place for your entire life—the feeling of never being quite the person you were supposed to be.

For me, I tried everything to fill this void; some things I am not proud of, and others I am very proud of. However, neither the failures nor the accolades of my life were ever enough. When I faced intense personal struggles after Afghanistan, no pills, counseling, or sports, like Brazilian jiu-jitsu or mixed martial arts, changed my situation. But when I aligned my life with the life God created me to live, I found hope, healing, and a new purpose. In fact, I found what I believe to be the very purpose God created me for, and that is to share what I learned with other warriors like you.

Some will say, “That sounds too easy!” I’ll challenge that rebuttal with a question I once had to answer. In fact, I ask every warrior who allows me the privilege to speak into his life the same question: “If what you are doing isn’t working, then why not try something different?” This book will offer you an insight into what that something different is.

Through the chapters ahead, I will share some of my own experiences, including those in the military, as a member of law enforcement, and as a professional fighter, and the lessons we can all learn from inspirational historic warriors of biblical times.

Regardless of your personal beliefs, I ask you to open your heart and mind and challenge yourself to be the very best man and warrior you can be. It is my prayer for you that you will find an unfair advantage to warfare reserved for those who step into the life God created them to live and thus become the warrior you were born to be.

CHAPTER 1

THE KILLING POOL

Above all else, guard your heart,

for everything you do flows from it.

PROVERBS 4:23

Before leaving for my first trip to Afghanistan, I spent four unexpected days alone in Virginia Beach waiting for a military flight. As is common with such flights, I was getting “pushed to the right,” meaning delayed for days and shoved chronologically down the calendar. I was frustrated. My preparations were complete. I had already said goodbye to my family and felt at peace although it felt like someone ripped my heart out of my chest after watching my kids stare at me through the car window as they drove away from seeing me off.

I was ready to go—ready to be with my team members in Afghanistan. I was flying out with operators I didn’t know, but they were seasoned warfighters who I admired. Since I didn’t know any of them personally and they had their own things to do, I stayed to myself. The four days of waiting seemed incredibly long, but all the training and buildup was over, and soon I was actually going to be doing my job. In those four days, I spent a great deal of time running to burn off nervous energy (I wasn’t really nervous, just eager). As I ran along Virginia Beach each day, I passed a giant statue of Neptune, the Roman god of the sea. That statue was warrior-like, and it served as a somewhat grim reminder of the seriousness of what was ahead for me.

For hours at a time, I sat near that statue and stared across the horizon of the Atlantic Ocean trying to imagine what it would be like once I arrived. I realized that somewhere across that ocean was someone who would try to kill me when given the chance. Despite all my training and life experience, I understood that I was still naive as to what it would be like over there, and that unknown intrigued me.

Departure time finally arrived by way of a C-130. I had been on this aircraft many times before on Military Free Fall (MFF) or High Altitude Low Opening (HALO) jumps. As I walked across the tarmac, the fact struck me that I couldn’t remember when I had actually returned to the ground inside of one of those planes. I always jumped out before they landed, and to this day, something about the smell of burning jet fuel makes me feel like jumping.

I walked up the back ramp and into the cargo hold. It was loaded with pallets of equipment, supplies, and a small group of operators—some rugged-looking dudes! Unlike some in the military who leave on an international flight with the look on their faces like they may be marching to their deaths, these guys were cracking jokes and seemed excited about doing exactly what they had trained so hard to do. And it was clear that they had done this a time or two before—this was definitely not their first rodeo.

One of the operators I met earlier that week began handing out Ambien sleeping pills for the ride. He was a monster of a man—about six and a half feet tall and stout enough to be in the NFL—and, like many of these men, he sported long hair and a giant, thick, blond-haired beard. He looked like a Viking. He started to offer me an Ambien but then stopped and pointed at the giant bag next to me—a bag of cash that I was carrying for our team. (He knew about the bag from a briefing we had both attended.) “Why don’t you take two of these and then sleep next to me?” he said.

“Not a chance!” I laughed.

He just smiled and handed me the pill. The teasing made me feel welcome among the men for the long journey ahead. Nothing about flying on a cargo plane for twenty-two hours is fun, but like the rest of the guys, I found my own little spot atop a pile of gear, took my Ambien, and balled up like a cat for a long nap.

After a stop in Germany, we arrived at Bagram Air Base, Afghanistan, in the middle of the night. The other guys disembarked and headed off as if they’d been there a hundred times before, but I had an escort to get me squared away. It would be a few hours until I would meet my team. I walked around the outside of the compound, both excited and curious. I wanted to see Afghanistan, but it was still too dark. The cool, dry desert air gave me a familiar feeling of my time as a young recon marine training in Twentynine Palms, California.

I looked at the stars, finding the Big Dipper and the Lazy W to orientate myself north, something I always like to do at night even when I have a GPS. Wow! I thought to myself. I’m really here in Afghanistan…and somewhere out there beyond these HESCO barriers and concertina wire is the actual Taliban. (HESCO barriers are earth-filled metal cages used to make perimeter walls, and concertina wire is coiled razor wire also used at the perimeter.) This thought fascinated me. A few hours later (before the sun rose), I was leaving the safety of HESCO barriers behind and joining my team off base.

In my initial days, I spent a fair amount of time praying but not for God to save me from my situation; rather, I prayed that I would do a good job and my family would be safe without me. I probably prayed more ritualistically than from any strong confidence that God would take direct action in my family’s lives or my own. It was definitely shallow. And instead of allowing my situation to bring me closer to God, over time I allowed it to separate me from him. It didn’t take long for God to become an abstract distant concept rather than someone I could lean on in the trials to come.

I was laser focused on my mission and extremely excited, fueled by a passion to take part in retaliating for the attacks on America on September 11, 2001. Like many military personnel who had not served in combat yet, bravado and naivety filled my mind, viewed through patriotic lenses. At the time, I gave little thought to understanding the impact America has globally.

But a short time later, I had an awakening. The things I witnessed on that day (and the following ones) in Kabul, Afghanistan, would change me forever. It wasn’t the combat that changed me but rather witnessing the Afghan people on a personal level. They weren’t Taliban. I saw life through their eyes. And even though they had a dark history in their nation, they also had a deep appreciation for America.

A local national named Bashir invited me to his home. Over the next few years, Bashir became a trusted teammate and friend. He had invited me to his home to watch the 2004 presidential election unfold. I thought it was strange that he would care, but since I was personally living like a caveman at the time because of my assignment, the prospect of good food and seeing the American election sounded like a great break.

So, another team member and I went to Bashir’s home, and to our surprise, the house was packed with his family. There were wall-to-wall people, tons of food for celebration, and every eye was glued to the television, waiting in suspense for the next update. I thought it was incredible that they cared so much about the election of the president of the United States. I had never seen a group of Americans this focused, and these were Afghans! The atmosphere felt like a big Super Bowl party.

These Afghans’ candidate of choice was President George W. Bush, and when the results rolled in, the party erupted with dancing, hugging, laughter, and joy. Their reaction blew me away, and in truth, I shared in their excitement. They based their joy on the knowledge that there would be a continued presence of United States and Allied forces in Afghanistan—US forces that had already freed Kabul and many parts of the country from Taliban rule. They feared that, as president, John Kerry would withdraw forces and allow the Taliban to regain control. I understood their thinking, but it would be days later before I had reason to comprehend the depth of their passion.

Over the following days, I continued to talk to Bashir about how amazed I was that his family cared so much about who the US president would be. Bashir decided the best way to show me why they were so passionate about the election was to take me on a tour of his city. What I was about to witness changed my life and heart forever.

Bashir first took me to a four-story apartment building on the east side of Kabul, just off the Jalalabad Road entry into the city. Bullet holes scarred the concrete walls of the apartment building, and the Taliban regime had ripped out the power lines that had once provided electricity to the complex. Bashir had previously taught English here in secret in the basement of the building. He told me heartbreaking stories of how the Taliban would come into the building, raiding it like a prison inspection and searching for contraband and violations of their rules and laws. Many of the young girls would be raped, beaten, and sometimes killed for having violated their rules or for no reason at all.

Bashir showed me the stairwell leading to the roof where many girls (including one of his twelve-year-old cousins) had committed suicide by throwing themselves off the fourth story rooftop after Taliban thugs had raped or beaten them. Some jumped to avoid such a fate. As I thought of these young girls, I couldn’t imagine a fear so deep that it would cause a person to throw themselves off a four-story building to their death. But then I envisioned terrified workers inside the World Trade Center buildings who chose to jump to their deaths rather than burn alive.

The next place we visited was known locally as the Killing Pool. Bashir parked at the base of Mahrus Hill on the north side of Kabul, and a short hike to the top of the hill had us standing in front of a full-size Olympic swimming pool with regulation diving platforms. The structure seemed weirdly out of place in the third-world architecture of Kabul. The Russians built the pool in the 1980s (after they invaded Afghanistan) so that their divers could practice Olympic diving at high altitude (about fifty-nine hundred feet high in Kabul). But I suspect more killing was done here than diving.

As we approached the pool, I immediately noticed a steel cable hanging off the end of the second 7.5-meter diving platform. Someone had drilled a hole through the concrete platform to secure the cable at one end, and on the dangling end was a hangman’s slipknot noose. I could only imagine the decapitation that would occur as the noose snapped around someone’s neck after falling some twenty-five feet off the platform and coming to an immediate halt at the end of that cable. Bashir said that he had witnessed public executions here, including when the Taliban would throw men, women, and even children off the top tower onto the concrete floor of the empty pool far below.