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- Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
- Kategorie: Ratgeber
- Serie: In A Day For Dummies
- Sprache: Englisch
- Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2012
Being best man is both an honor and a huge responsibility - if you think it's just a case of buying a few beers on a boy's night out, think again! You've got a lot of organizing to do, there's etiquette to follow and, of course, the dreaded speech to make. Fear not, however, as Be a Best Man in a Day For Dummies is here to help. It's a humorous, yet information packed step-by-step guide to your role and responsibilities. This is a cut-down version of Being the Best Man For Dummies. Topics covered include: * The bachelor party * The wedding preparations * The ceremony * The reception * Writing the speech * Delivery and presentation * Ten essentials to bring to the wedding * Ten nightmare wedding scenarios * Ten great speech opening lines
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Best Man Basics In A Day For Dummies ®
Table of Contents
Best Man Basics In A Day For Dummies®
by Dominic Bliss
Best Man Basics In A Day For Dummies®
Published byJohn Wiley & Sons, LtdThe AtriumSouthern GateChichesterWest SussexPO19 8SQEngland
Copyright © 2012 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd, Chichester, West Sussex, England
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Ltd, Chichester, West Sussex
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British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data: A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN 978-1-118-38027-7 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118-38028-4 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118-38029-1 (ebk)
Introduction
In a previous existence, I was launch editor and feature writer for a men’s wedding magazine called Stag & Groom. Among the articles we published, there was loads of no-nonsense advice on stag parties, speech content and wedding suits. Inevitably, whenever friends or colleagues got engaged or were appointed best man, the first person they would call for advice was me. Every springtime, just as the wedding season was starting to hot up, I used to get at least a couple such calls a week, and the two topics they would be panicking about most were the stag party and the speech.
Those are the two topics I’ve allocated the most space to in this book. A best man needs to consider loads of other duties – and they’re all covered in detail as well – but the stag do and the speech are the most important. They’re the bench marks on which all best men are ultimately judged. Wear the wrong wedding suit and you’re forgiven. Forget to don your button-hole or do up your flies and the chances are that no one will notice except the bride. But mess up the stag do or the speech and you’re remembered for all time as the best man who got it wrong.
This book makes sure that you get these things right.
What You Can Do in a Day
As part of the In A Day For Dummies series, I designed this book to contain about a day’s reading (or a couple days if you’re taking your time). After said day, my goal is for you to walk away from this fantastic little title with a clear sense of purpose and the tools you need to be the best best man you can be. Okay, enough with the motivational speechifying for the time being.
Foolish Assumptions
Forgive me, but to make things a lot easier I’ve made a few assumptions about you, the reader. I’m assuming that you:
Are male. Granted, nowadays you do occasionally get female best men. But few of them buy books advising them on their duties. If you’re the exception, then I’m sorry, but you’ll have to get used to all the male pronouns.
Like a drink. Stag dos and weddings tend to be well lubricated. Grooms know this. Best men know this. And a groom is unlikely to appoint a best man who’s not willing to play along. Even just a little bit.
Are going to be best man at a church or a registry office. In our multiracial society people get married under many religions and beliefs, but to keep things simple I’ve referred to Church of England or civil wedding conventions throughout.
Icons Used in This Book
Stag parties and wedding days are all about planning ahead and then thinking on your feet when those plans go awry. Often it’s simply a case of damage limitation. To help you, I’ve scattered lots of icons at key stages throughout the book.
Soon after being appointed best man, you’ll be glad of any advice offered to you. These little nuggets provide the most useful bits of advice.
When you’re part of the wedding party, you have so many things to remember. Add to this list your duties as stag party organiser and you can see why some best men crack under the pressure. These little icons serve as mini checklists, or mental sticky notes.
The entire marriage process is a diplomatic minefield. What with the bride, the groom, their parents, the vicar, the chief bridesmaid, the ushers and all the stags to keep happy, you need some help to steer yourself clear of the mines, and you find such help under this icon.
Quick jobs you can do in no more than five minutes are indicated by this icon.
This icon indicates that bonus content accompanying the text is available at www.dummies.com/inaday/bestmanbasics.
Chapter 1
Best Man Basics
In This Chapter
Understanding the best man’s role in the wedding build-up
Knowing what to do on the wedding day
Grasping the qualities of a best man
Every member of the wedding party has a precise and well-defined role. The groom’s job is to turn up on time and behave like a saint all day. The bride smiles, looks gorgeous and keeps one eye on the reception. The minister or registrar directs the ceremony. The ushers get everyone seated and organise the car parking. The bridesmaids fuss about the bride’s dress. The bride’s father worries about how much everything’s cost him. And the bride’s mother cries like a baby.
Interconnecting these roles in order to keep everyone happy and everything running smoothly is the linchpin of the wedding party. Yes, that’s you, the best man. But don’t worry: I’m here to help.
Important Advice to Heed
The best man receives advice from all corners, some of which is good, some of which is bad. This book gives you plenty of great advice, but before you go any further, I’ve pulled together a few basic tips to bear in mind right from the start.
Acting as the middle man
Getting married is a stressful business. Second only to moving house (oh . . . and divorce), this occasion puts more pressure on the bride and groom than most of the trials and tribulations they’re likely to face during their life together – which is why you need to be tactful at all times.
Think of the bride and groom as two neighbouring countries who’ve just signed a peace treaty. As the diplomat chosen for the tricky job of liaising between the two, you have to be tactful. Although your loyalty ultimately lies with the groom, you must be able to support both halves of the marital divide.
Start off by reassuring the groom that you’re the best best man he could possibly have chosen. He wants to know that you’re definitely not the sort to mess things up. You’ve taken on a tricky task. First of all, you’re expected to host the stag party to end all stag parties (party on down to Chapter 2 for help on sorting this). Then a few weeks later, you’ve got to don a penguin suit (check out Chapter 3 for all your sartorial needs), charm the socks off all the relatives and regale dozens of guests with a scintillating speech (read more on speeches in Chapter 6).
You may be shaking like a leaf at the prospect of all of this responsibility. But don’t let the groom know. He wants his right-hand man to be as cool as a cucumber.
So does the bride. She wants to pretend that the stag party isn’t really going to happen. (So when you do mention the event, play down the rowdy elements.) And, on the big day, she wants everything to run as smoothly as the silk tie around your neck. Reassure her that this is the case – if you don’t, she may tighten that tie rather uncomfortably.
Arrange a meeting with the bride and groom soon after the engagement. Offer your services in any way you can. You may find that the bride has particularly solid ideas about how she wants the ceremony and reception to pan out. Before you get together, read Chapters 4 and 5 to gain a better understanding of what you may be asked to do and what a sample wedding schedule looks like. Your job isn’t to stick your oar in at this juncture – what the bride says, goes.
