Cheers to the Diaper Years E-Book

Erin Brown Hollis

• Herausgeber: BroadStreet Publishing Group, LLC
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2018

Seitenzahl: 305

Beschreibung

Welcome to Crazy Town. Population: Every mom with kids in diapers. As moms, we drive ourselves crazy striving for perfection. We try to prepare the healthiest meals, install the safest car seats, plan the best birthday parties, and still we lie awake at night wondering if we're doing enough. The pressures can be overwhelming. Thankfully, the Bible provides us with an encouraging framework for godly parenting. Cheers to the Diaper Years shares ten biblical truths that will help you: - find something great in every day, - manage your time around what matters most, - go from worrier to warrior, - dump the mommy guilt, - celebrate your unique awesomeness, and - rely on God's Word to guide your child to Christ.Out of all the mothers in the world, God selected you to parent your child. You can survive the diaper years because you are more than enough in Christ. Cheers to the grace and goodness found in him!

Leseprobe

Cheers to the Diaper Years is a warm hug coupled with a healthy heaping of God’s grace. It is the new go-to survival guide for thriving in this crazy, beautiful journey of motherhood. This book needs to be on every momma’s bookshelf smack dab between their Bible and What to Expect When You’re Expecting.

—BETSY COOPER, head of Briarwood Presbyterian Church’sMother’s Day Out program, mother to two,and grandmother to nine

Cheers to the Diaper Years is like a refreshing gulp of sweet tea and a lingering hug for weary mamas everywhere. This delightful read is filled to the brim with biblical wisdom and humorous stories that “perfect mom” wannabes can relate to. Thank you, Erin, for changing my perspective on parenting from “I’ve got to mom now” drudgery to “I get to mom now” delight.

—TRACY STEEL, fellow mama of two “spirited” kiddos,author, speaker, and writer; tracymsteel.com

The infant and preschool years of parenting are physically and emotionally exhausting. Erin Hollis quickly earns readers’ trust with humorous, relatable stories of her own surprises, disappointments, and failures along the journey of motherhood. But she does not join us there to wallow in a pity party! Erin makes you feel that you are chatting with a friend over coffee as she shares how each of these moments is really an opportunity to better understand God’s grace. Her timely truths remind moms of the importance of perspective, community, self-forgiveness, and unconditional love—qualities that can only be found through a growing relationship with Jesus.

—BROOKE GIBSON, minister to preschoolers,Dawson Family of Faith; speaker and writerfor Group Publishing, Loveland, Colorado

Delightful, encouraging, and perfectly lovely! Erin Brown Hollis’s Cheers to the Diaper Years brings with it a fresh glimpse of motherhood. Her wit and honesty address the not-so-glamorous side of mommy life, celebrating it with a cup of truth and humor. The Southern charm laced throughout is contagious—mothers in all seasons of life will find themselves saying, “Cheers to the diaper years!”

—LAUREN H. BRANDENBURG, author ofThe Books of the Gardener, homeschool advocate,and mother to Kensi and Jack; www.LaurenHBrandenburg.com

Laugh-out-loud, honest, and utterly relatable. Erin Hollis has perfectly described in Cheers to the Diaper Years what all moms go through on a daily basis and how striving for perfection in a “perfect Instagram world” is not only unattainable but not what God calls us to.

—REAGAN CROYLE PHILLIPS, Big Oak Ranch Childcare Director

I so appreciate how Erin uses Scripture to encourage and enlighten us in our motherhood journey. It is beautiful to see God’s design for motherhood as explained throughout His Word! Erin reminds moms that we are not perfect (and shouldn’t expect perfection!), sometimes we need naps (amen!), and all of the hard, exhausting moments are worth it. Finding a mom tribe is necessary for sanity, and this book goes through how to find the fellow moms who get you and will walk alongside you to build you up when you are losing your sanity. So, log out of all your social media accounts (that are probably making you feel like a bad mom anyway), and read this book. It will have you laughing in agreement and give you encouragement to face each day with a renewed hope.

—JULIE SASSE, co-owner and co-founderof Birmingham Moms Blog, and mother of two

With three kids under five and a faith not much older, I wish I’d had a friend like Erin to tell me I’m not alone, I’m not crazy, and bad mom days don’t make me a bad mom. Erin’s southern wit and charm ooze the Christ-centered wisdom every mom in the trenches of parenting needs for thriving in these challenging, beautiful years. Thriving is surviving with benefits, and these words will point you to the One who can and will provide them.

—NIKI HARDY, author, speaker, thriver,and English breakfast tea drinker; www.nikihardy.com

BroadStreet Publishing® Group, LLC

Savage, Minnesota, USA

BroadStreetPublishing.com

Cheers to the Diaper Years: 10 Truths for Thriving While Barely Surviving

Copyright © 2018 Erin Brown Hollis

978-1-4245-5734-9 (softcover)

978-1-4245-5735-6 (e-book)

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Unless noted otherwise, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188, USA. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked ESV are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. Copyright © 2000; 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible, © Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. Scripture marked KJV is taken from the King James Version of the Bible. Scripture quotations marked CEV are taken from the CONTEMPORARY ENGLISH VERSION (CEV): Scripture taken from the CONTEMPORARY ENGLISH VERSION copyright© 1995 by the American Bible Society. Used by permission. Scripture quotations marked MEV are taken from the Modern English Version. Copyright © 2014 by Military Bible Association. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Stock or custom editions of BroadStreet Publishing titles may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, ministry, fundraising, or sales promotional use. For information, please email [email protected].

Literary agent, Julie Gwinn, from The Seymour Agency

Cover design by Chris Garborg at garborgdesign.com

Interior design and typesetting by Katherine Lloyd at theDESKonline.com

Printed in the United States of America

18 19 20 21 22 5 4 3 2 1

Bellalise and Annalise,

You make every day of mommy life worth celebrating.I love you both to God and back a million bajillion times.

CONTENTS

Foreword by Delores Topliff

Introduction

PART IMommyhood: You Have Been Chosen

TRUTH #1 – You Were Selected by God to Be Momma to Your Babies

1Calling All Fellow Commandeers of the Hot Mess Express

2A Cautionary Tale

3What Somebody Should Actually Tell Us When We Are Expecting

PART IIYou Do You—Free Yourself from the Chains of Keeping Up and Embrace the New (Non-Perfect) Mom Inside

TRUTH #2 – You Are More Than Enough in Christ

4Smashing the Stepford Wife Syndrome

5Picture-Perfect Performance—and the Other Lies Instagram Tells Us

6Ghosting on the Guilt Goblins

7Botox Bingo or Bible Study Brunch?

PART IIIYou Are Not Alone

TRUTH #3 – You Always Have Support in Christ and In Your Tribe (Even at 2:00 a.m.)

8Is Anybody Out There?

9The Ultimate Guide to Tappin’ Your Momma Tribe

PART IVConquering the Cray-Cray and Overcoming the Chaos of #MomLife

TRUTH #4 – You Can Find Joy Even in the Craziness

10Mamaste—Cultivating Calm Rather Than Chaos

11Tasmanian Devils for Life!

12Plot Twist: Switchin’ Up Our “Have-tos” to “Get-tos”

PART VMamarazzis, Pinterest Princesses, and MomBots, Oh My!

TRUTH #5 – You Are Never Going to Be Perfect, but with God’s Direction, You Will Be the Best Momma to Your Children

13Pummeling Pinterest Perfection

14Mamarazzi Mania

15The Grass Is Greener—Where You Water It

PART VIMuting All Mommy Shamers

TRUTH # 6 – Your Awesomeness Can’t Be Defined by Others

16Mommy Manifesto

17Brouhaha to Kumbaya

18Haters Gonna Hate

PART VIIFrom Worrier to Warrior

TRUTH #7 – You Can Give Up Googling and Look to the Word

19Worrywart to Christ Cohort

20Bedsprings Baptist

PART VIIISquashing the Scheduling Savages

TRUTH #8 – In Christ You Can Find Rest from the Parenting Rat Race

21The Solution to Stress-Gate

22Move it, Mealtime MomBot!

23Stepping Off the Struggle Bus: Prioritize Your Pandemonium

24Pouty Lips and Pedicures

PART IXAdulting: Accept the Challenge. Play by the Rules. Win at Parenting.

TRUTH #9 – You Know What’s Up with This Whole Parenting Thing

25Fix It, Jesus!

26Pop Out Your Planners for the Parenting To-Do List

27Chugga Chugga Choo Choo: Step Right Up to the Grace Train!

28Handprints on Their Hearts

PART XThis Too Shall Pass (Boogers and Poopy Diapers Included)

Truth #10 – You Will Get Through This

29The Tale of the Next Best Thing

30These Are the Days …

Conclusion: The Thrivin’ Tribe: A Love Letter to You

Cheers to … Scripture Resource

Acknowledgments

Notes

Connect with Erin

Foreword

Anyone reading Erin Brown Hollis’ Cheers to the Diaper Years will benefit from these wise, good-humored conversations and realize they’ve found someone who understands the challenges of being a mom. These well-paced pages offer humor-laced experience, but Hollis’ best ingredient, missing from so many parenting books, is that mommyhood is a specific divine calling that none of us can do alone. She reminds us that God is with us in our daily joys as well as in the midnight feedings and walk-the-floor bouts of sickness.

Each of the book’s ten parts links to a vital truth. Part I opens with “Mommyhood: You Have Been Chosen,” which connects to Truth #1, “You Were Selected by God to Be ‘Momma’ to Your Babies.” Those freeing words help defeat our fear of failing by reminding us that God is our guarantor; we are in this role with Him. Truth #2, which links to Part II, adds, “You Are More Than Enough in Christ!” Wonderfully, that means He is more than enough in us!

Cheers to the Diaper Years grew from Erin Brown Hollis’ popular website blog that focuses on freeing and uplifting moms. Her messages create a place for ladies to identify and share their journeys and joys. As the childhood nursery rhyme says, “First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes (you) with a baby carriage.” Moms look quite different than dazzling prom dates or gorgeous brides coming down the aisle. We spend most of our time in food-stained workout clothes feeding (or wiping) precious little faces—not dressed up for date nights with handsome husbands. Hollis’ pages remind us to lean on Christ and encourage others while serving in the trenches where our daily parenting battles are fought and won.

I recommend this book as essential to moms as a favorite morning beverage pick-me-up. Give it as a gift to those needing a smile or a spring in their step while performing sacred mommyhood duties. As Billy Graham’s wife, Ruth, understood in co-raising their five children, parenting is a God-given calling. This sign, written in Old English lettering, still hangs above her kitchen sink: “Divine service will be conducted here three times daily.” That’s three times a day, ladies—three times every day. It’s in these small segments of loving service, wearing smiles on our faces and spaghetti stains (or worse) on our clothes, where mom-warriors win medals.

As we raise the children God entrusts to us, our most important task is not doing everything right. For Hollis, it has included “reading bedtime stories, playing Barbies, doing puzzles, and snuggling with my two little girls. … I want my girls to know that they can achieve anything they dream through hard work and God’s guidance.”

This wise, fun book for those in mommyhood years inspires and encourages us most of all to bask daily in God’s love, fellowship, and help, while teaching our children to do the same.

DELORES TOPLIFF, BA, MA, C.Ed.D.Professor at the University of Northwestern–St. Paul (MN), collegecurriculum writer, and international speaker and seminar presenter

Introduction

Dear Reader,

I have a sneaking suspicion we could be soul sisters. Maybe we were even separated at birth. Who knows? Only time will tell.

But I know one thing for sure: If you are a mom or on your way to being one … if you are tackling the daily grind of mommin’, you are my people. I love you. I understand you. And I am here to represent you if you’ll indulge me for a bit.

When I first learned I was pregnant, I shared my joy with my tribe and then, immediately, went to the bookstore to pick up every book imaginable that could teach me how to rock it out in my new role as “Mommy.” There are thousands of books out there to show you how to change a diaper, tell you when to wean, and give you reviews about the best baby monitor—and they’re great—but I needed a book that told me what to do when I was curled up on my bathroom floor doubting my ability to carry on. Try googling “what to do when sitting on the floor of bathroom crying when your kid won’t go to sleep.”

In case you’re wondering, every child requires the following bedtime routine (according to the internet): (1) change diaper or potty; (2) brush teeth; (3) read a book; (4) turn on the nightlight; (5) chase away the boogie man; (6) solve world hunger; and, my personal favorite, (7) discuss every single thing you tried to get her to talk about during the day that she didn’t seem hip to discuss over her PB&J at lunchtime. This type of research will take you down a rabbit trail ending in a wild goose chase that will likely never lead you to Christ—which is exactly where you gotta run, girl.

So I got a little frustrated with my lack of an instruction manual.

Not many authors authentically tackled the battlefield I now know as motherhood. Because if we’re being honest about motherhood, it’s Crazytown, USA. Population: Every single one of us.

I simply wanted to be heard. I wanted a community of support where I felt comfortable to sometimes commiserate, but all the time celebrate.

My guess is that you are preparing for motherhood, or maybe you are right in the thick of it, like me. No matter how you’ve arrived at this book, I need to promise you one thing: I’m certainly not going to pretend to have this whole thing figured out.

Sure, I could sit here and spell out all the different ways to swaddle your baby, when to soothe, and how to bathe, but someone has already done all of that. This book addresses what I feel to be some real tough-stuff motherhood issues: the things that keep us up at night—outside of the wake-up calls from our precious progeny—like self-doubt, the pressures of being enough, and worry.

Instead of telling you how to live your life, I plan to extend my hand, offer you grace, and hope that at the end of this, we are besties destined to support one another on this crazy, wild journey of motherhood. Picture this book like a good-ole-fashioned girls’ night (or naptime escape) where we are going to chat about all the highs and lows of motherhood, followed by a “Cheers!” to the grace and goodness we can find in Christ to embrace each one!

I’m going to let you in on a little secret: Nothing in this book (or any book outside the Bible, for that matter) will solve all our mommy manic moments, but I hope after our time together that you feel heard. I hope you feel community. I hope you feel me reaching out, assuring you that you are not alone. Let’s be friends, girl!

I don’t want to be known as the “best mom.” I want to be known as the best mom for my kids. I want to stay up late for dance parties and snuggle in on Saturday mornings. I want to read one book that turns into twenty at bedtime and then recharge with my hubby before the next sleep interruption occurs. I want to soak up the tiny moments—the ones that matter.

My second sneaking suspicion is that so do you.

So, with all that being said, my first tip to you is this: Run, don’t walk, and stock your freezer with ice cream, your contact list with trustworthy friends, and your heart with the Word. Let’s do this, girl. Together.

I may not know everything about parenting, but I know the One who does.

Mommyhood: You Have Been Chosen

Mom Confession: I often find myself wondering how I ended up with these precious children who also kind of drive me crazy at times.

CHEERS TO …

TRUTH #1 – You Were Selected by God toBe “Momma” to Your Babies

Out of all the options in the entire universe, God selected YOU to parent your child(ren).

..............

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesusfor good works, which God prepared beforehandso that we would walk in them.

EPHESIANS 2:10 NASB

1

Calling All Fellow Commandeers of the Hot Mess Express

Mommyhood. Wow. What a ride. Actually, it’s more like a roller coaster with no seatbelts. Am I right, ladies? So much of parenting is the ability to finally look in the mirror and admit, Yes. This is my circus. And yes. These are my monkeys.

Days that end with no trips to the emergency room, anxiety prescriptions, or breakdowns resulting in over-divulging therapy sessions equate to a “W” (Win) on the scoreboard of life for us card-carrying members of the Mommy Club. Take a brief moment and give yourself a pat on the back if you are headed toward another “W” on the board for today.

Sometimes we just need to locate and resonate with women going through the exact same highs and lows we are experiencing. We yearn to find our tribe.

If you are a momma, this is your tribe. Welcome home.

This book is meant to serve as a perma-hug, a handshake, a high-five, a pat on the back, an air kiss on each cheek, and a star on your reward chart. Whatever your preferred salutation for love recognition happens to be, that’s what this book is intended to provide. It’s a reminder that we’re all in this together. Every single one of us. We are worthy in Christ. We are strong. We are chosen.

So get comfy, grab a blanket, turn off the TV (yep, even that awesome guilty pleasure kind—I promise we can catch the DVR version later), and grab your favorite beverage of choice. Let’s curl up on the couch, like the two besties we are going to be by the end of our time together, and chat. Buckle up, mommas. Let’s talk mommyhood!

Let’s start with the most important message of all: Being a mom is the most significant earthly gift and calling we could ever receive. Parenting is a privilege that many of us spend years praying and dreaming about. We pray to receive the blessing of a child. We pray for them once they arrive. Sometimes we pray for them to go away (joking!—kinda). It seems like we pray every single moment of the day for these divine gifts! And they really are gifts. God’s Word tells us so: “Children are a blessing and a gift from the80 Lord” (Psalm 127:3 CEV).

Children are absolute blessings, no doubt about it. In fact, I would bet that if you’ve ever experienced the sheer elation of parenting a child, you know what I mean. Their first breath. The first time that teeny-tiny hand grasps your finger. Those first steps. All. The. Heart. Eyes. Friends, life would not be the same without their embrace and innocent eyes reminding us of this precious gift we call life. Take note of these warm and fuzzy feelings you are having right now. We will need to be feeling those later on when we delve off into #RealTalk.

As parents, we really should thank God frequently throughout the day for the honor and privilege of His entrustment of our little ones. And consider this humbling fact with me for a hot second: Out of every single option in the world, God chose you to be the parent of your child(ren).

He did not select your mother-in-law.

He did not select your friend with her Pinterest-perfect, country-club-chic, yoga-obsessed, clean-eating, seemingly lovely life.

He did not even select that nosy lady in the produce section at the grocery store who always seems to have all the answers to parenting. Nope. Nuh-uh. God chose you! He hand-selected you (am I emphasizing this enough? I’m talking to you, girlfriend!) to love them, encourage them, and guide them along their journey(s) of life. No one on earth could do a better job than you! (Not even Reese Witherspoon. Even though, let’s be real, we all wish we could be her kid. Or her best friend. Or just her acquaintance. “Reese, can we be friends? Check yes__or no__.” Moving on …)

From the moment we learn we are going to be moms, an innate drive awakens in our souls. This all-consuming urge to learn everything we can about our new adventure takes over. And then, we delve off into the world of research. We google more than ever before. We reach out to every nook and cranny of the internet, hunting for the latest rules of the game. We subscribe to every mommy blog available. We call every friend who has ever even thought about birthing a child. Honestly, we should receive PhDs for how proficient we become in the field of domestication. And the advice just floods in, doesn’t it?

I wish there was a way we could turn off “mommy notifications” in our brains, much like the options in social media these days to spare us the incessant intrusion of even more “mommy deets.” There must be some way we can enjoy a moment of peace on the journey of motherhood!

Once baby arrives, we enter a state of uncharted euphoria—you know, after recovering from that moment of wondering whether or not our body just literally exploded. As our little one is placed in our arms, we stare into this tiny face, and for a brief moment it’s just perfection. Just the two (or three or five or insert number of your applicable children here) of us. It’s all good in the ’hood. This precious little thing has been entrusted to us. We love all the cuddles, the coos, and the cute faces. We eat up those tender moments and catalog them in our brains for generations to come.

And it’s all fun and Instagram-worthy moments, until we head into our new reality. That wheelchair ride down to the car is like a gigantic backhand across the face and shove off the edge of the Grand Canyon into the Abyss of Adulting. (In case you’re curious, I capitalized the word Adulting because it’s a real place, y’all.) We cling to the car door like we’re being kidnapped and forced into uncomfortable servitude. And it takes everything inside of us not to turn around and scream, “Sweet, precious, beautiful nurse, who hasn’t left my side in two days, come home with me!”

Jesus, be an at-home baby nurse.

Those first few hours back home after leaving the hospital are, well, like discovering a whole new world—not to be confused with the Aladdin-and-Jasmine version. Think the Beast’s castle (fight-scene style) or the battlefield in Mulan. And what about the thirty minutes after our family and friends leave our side for the first time to tend to their own lives once again?

Then the fun really begins.

We can all agree on one thing: Babies are not born with handbooks, schedules, and lists of their needs tied to their tiny ankles as they enter this world—disappointing, I know. There is no road-map to parenting. There is no manual explaining how to feed an infant who appears to have been born with aversions to any and all forms of nourishment. There is no pamphlet describing how to adequately clean poop used as finger paint on a crib. (Am I the only one raising a future Poop van Gogh? Say it ain’t so!) There are no rules to assist in teaching your toddler not to swim in the toilet. And, sadly, there is no game plan designed to scare away the boogie man at 4:00 a.m.

Remember how I suggested earlier to soak up those precious moments of tenderness and Instagram perfection and burn them into your memory? Okay, good. Close your eyes and picture those for a bit. Yeah, get all that light-of-a-thousand-fairies dancing in your head. You good? All right, moving on.

In addition to the over-the-moon moments, there are also times we want to run in the street and vigilantly wave our arms until someone whisks us away from our current reality and plops us in an alternate one. Of silence. And cleanliness. And freedom.

There will be moments when we look in the mirror and doubt our ability to carry on. Girl, I so feel you. There are moments when we feel overwhelmed, overworked, and undervalued (feels like a “can I get an amen?” moment). We will feel defeated and not up to the task, but so long as we remember to cling to the promise we just discussed—that we were chosen for this—there’s a reassuring feeling of God’s provision that washes over us. “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness” (2 Peter 1:3).

That’s what this book is all about—finding hope when we feel there is none. Getting a hug when we feel like we are invisible. And reminding ourselves that we are all in this together.

Love you, sister. Time to let it all hang out and conquer all these issues together.

2

A Cautionary Tale

I would like to continue our time together by sharing a cautionary tale. And not to go all Savage Garden (circa 1997) on you, but it’s one that I feel truly, madly, deeply about.

First, let’s get to know one another.

Hey, y’all! I’m Erin. I am a mommy to two girls, a wife to one man (ha! I feel weird typing it that way, but surely Marshall will appreciate the numeric accuracy, right?), a daughter to the two greatest folks on the planet, and a sister to a guy who deserves it all—and then some.

I always find it roll-on-the-floor laughable when people assume that I have it “together.” I guess my reputation for being a sassy dresser with a penchant for a bold lip precedes me and disguises my true soul mates in life: sweatpants and spaghetti stains. Alert the elders, folks, because this Pinterest Princess persona is an outright fallacy. I try. I really, really do. But I mess it up so much of the time.

As an attorney, I feel obligated to provide you a little evidence to serve as proof. Here goes …

I totaled my first car at sixteen years old—fifty-eight days after receiving it, even though my dad prognosticated that I had a solid sixty days before phoning him up from a ditch on the side of the highway somewhere. (I’m all about beating out those benchmarks, people!)

I invited boys over to my house at eighteen years old when my parents were three hours away on vacation, even though they warned me for weeks that if I did, I’d never see the light of day again. (Somehow I escaped being found out, even though I’m currently huddled up at a local library, in the dark, typing to my new besties—you!—so potato, po-tah-toe with the whole light-of-day thing, I guess.)

I ran for Student Government Association president against the most popular guy in school my senior year of high school and received two (two!) votes: myself and my brother. (Wait, Brad, did you vote for me?!) Needless to say, my concession speech was akin to a good-ole-fashioned dumpster fire. Good times. Goooood times.

Is anyone noticing a trend here?

At some point, I began to question if God was planning to use this wannabe achiever. The girl who had big dreams but needed a little structured vision due to her penchant for epic fails.

Then I turned twenty-seven and found out my husband and I were expecting. I was finally going to knock it out of the park, friends. I was going to be Mommy of the Year! (Ha! Sorry. I’m pausing to collect myself because I just disturbed a whole table of nearby studiers in this library by laughing out loud at my own idiocy gentle naivety.)

Like many of you with kids, I immediately thought I knew more than every single mother who had ever given birth. I’m lookin’ at you, Eve. (I know I’m better than you. No snake is gonna steal my focus from achieving Mommy of the Year!)

I say all of this even though in the first few weeks of my baby’s existence, I found myself rocking back and forth on the bed for hours each night, freaking out about whether or not I should offer my baby a pacifier because the judgy momspert (mom + expert) guides had scolded me against it.

Within moments of my baby’s birth, I was forcing that boob right on her. You know, because “society” told me that was what I was supposed to do. Spoiler Alert: She didn’t take it and ended up on the BiliBed with severe jaundice for three days. And I asked God, “What is my purpose? I can’t breastfeed, so what do I do now?!”

Cut to a year later, and there was that time when my toddler painted her entire crib with her own poop, even though I had just explained to her that feces have not been deemed an art medium even in our super-open-minded modern age—because sixteen-month-olds are wildly interested in the history and trends of uppity culture today. I cocked my head right back up at God and said, “What is my purpose? I can’t even keep my kid from exploring her van-Gogh-esque qualities with her own waste!”

So yeah. God has a way of grounding us, doesn’t He?

#RealTalk: I’m a momma just like you. I have moments when I knock this mom-gig right outta the park, and then I have my moments when I think God must have been kidding when He placed these little lovebugs in my care.

But then it hit me: God was utilizing these vulnerable “I don’t have a clue what I’m supposed to be doing” moments in my life to draw me back to my true purpose: loving Him, doing my best to model Christ’s forgiveness, and extending His grace to everyone I meet—including myself.

Here comes a #TruthBomb: Our purpose on this earth is not defined by our parenting journey. Our purpose on this earth is to lead others to Christ, to live as Jesus did, and to strive day in and day out to be more like Him. “We are here to bring glory and honor to God. We’re here at the Father’s good pleasure. We’re here on purpose, for a purpose—His purpose.”1

Cheers. To. That.

Our purpose on this earth is not defined by our parenting journey.

It seems that now more than ever we find ourselves searching for our purpose, looking for that one thing God has set us on this earth to accomplish. And I think we get confused with the terms purpose and calling. When we confuse those two, it can send us down a never-ending rabbit trail of disappointment. Our purpose is to love God with our heart, soul, and mind (Matthew 22:37–38). One of our callings is to lovingly guide our precious babies into the arms of Christ (Proverbs 22:6).

When we remind ourselves that our purpose on this earth is not limited to our parenting, we free ourselves from the shame and disappointment that will come with everyday mothering and open ourselves up to the paths God has chosen for each of us. “Motherhood isn’t a means to fulfilling our need for purpose, but an outpouring of living full in the spirit. The secret to finding your purpose is simply finding more of God.”2 When we start looking at motherhood as one of the vessels to reveal our purpose, everything seems much more meaningful and, frankly, doable.

Have you ever found yourself saying this little ditty: “God designed me to be a mommy”? Yes, my friend, He did! But He also designed you for something even greater—to reach your people, your tribe, and your world with the hope and grace we have in Christ! When we focus on serving God, we are allowing Him to shine through every aspect of our lives, not just limiting Him to our home address, our babies, our church, or our backyards. Instead, we are saying, “God, use me in this home. Use me at the grocery store. Use me in the boardroom. Use me at this restaurant. Use me everywhere.”

The most incredible moment in my parenting journey came when I realized that God actually did not pick me to be the Mommy of the Year. God chose me to be a mom. And what we are going to learn together is to thank the good Lord for that simple fact.

I am not a child psychologist. I do not have a PhD in early childhood education. And aren’t we glad? Because honestly, I don’t understand what those well-meaning souls are saying half the time anyway (love you though, experts!). I am a real mom writing to real moms. I do not know everything there is to know about motherhood—but I know the One who does.

Okay. Awesome. I’m so glad we know each other better, because this journey is gonna get bumpy before it gets great. Back to my cautionary tale.

God did not choose you to be Mommy of the Year either. Hallelujah. Praise God! And all the mommies said, “Amen.” He chose you to be a mom by gifting you with the blessing of a child. And not just any old mom. He chose you to be the mom to your kids. Girlfriend, being a mom is the most incredible thing you could ever do with your life. The other incredible thing is that not a single one of us will ever do this mom thing perfectly. So here is my one word of caution: from this point forward, run from anything that teaches you otherwise! Hide yo kids and hide yoself from any book, blog, person, robot, website, car salesman, grocery-store cashier, old-lady neighbor, meddling mother-in-law, or long-lost bestie from high school who claims that he or she can coach you into (rather, shame you into) being the perfect mom. Instead, just fall into the arms of Christ. The best thing you can do is learn how to thrive in this whole motherhood game rather than perfect it, because there’s nobody perfect but God Himself.

Well, we’ve been curled up on the couch for a bit now, chatting it up. And I gotta say, I am loving this time we are sharing. We’re friends now, right? (I’m over here unashamedly looking for that good-ole-fashioned friend request, girl. Just sayin’.) Promise me you’ll never forget this: You can totally do this job called “Mom.” You are strong, and you are capable. In fact, you were chosen for such a time as this.

3

What Somebody Should Actually Tell Us When We Are Expecting

Now that we have established that we are chosen for this awesome role of Mommy, I want to make a confession. When I took my precious firstborn home from the hospital on a chilly fall day back in 2012, I had not one clue what to do with that sweet (and boisterous) bundle of joy. I felt like they probably shouldn’t have let me leave the premises. Looking back, I’m not exactly sure what caused Brookwood Hospital’s staff to make the decision to send us home. (I’m guessing my incessant requests for lime-margarita-flavored popsicles every fifteen minutes might have had something to do with it, but the jury is still out on all that.)