Covert Persuasion E-Book

Kevin Hogan

• Herausgeber: John Wiley & Sons
• Kategorie: Fachliteratur
• Sprache: Englisch

Seitenzahl: 296

Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2010

Beschreibung

Praise for Covert Persuasion: "This book is a treasure trove of ideas you can use to turn a 'no'into a 'yes' almost instantly-in any sales situation." -Brian Tracy, speaker and author of Create Your Own Future andChange Your Thinking, Change Your Life "Hogan is the master of persuasion. I urge you to persuade yourselfto buy this book and everything he's ever written and recorded. Itwill help you understand yourself, understand others, and succeed.This information is bankable." -Jeffrey Gitomer, author of The Sales Bible, Little Red Book ofSelling, and Little Red Book of Sales Answers "There's more wisdom in this book than in 500 pages on the samesubject. Whether you need to persuade your lover, your spouse, yourboss, your clients, your friends, or yourself, this powerhousecollection of mind tricks and secrets will give you the upper hand.In today's competitive world, this is the persuasion wizard'smanual you need to control circumstances and get what youwant." -Dr. Joe Vitale, author of Life's Missing Instruction Manual andThe Attractor Factor "When you read Hogan's writing, it feels like you're getting sageadvice from a master. Would you like other people to decide ontheir own (or so they think) to go along with your every whim? Thenthis is the book you've been looking for." -David Garfinkel, author of Advertising Headlines That Make YouRich "There is more practical information on the dynamics of selling andcommunication in these pages than you could ever acquire in alifetime on your own through trial and error. Take advantage of theauthors' wisdom and read this book!" -Todd D. Bramson, Certified Financial Planner and author of RealLife Financial Planning

Leseprobe

Table of Contents

Praise

Title Page

Copyright Page

Dedication

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Chapter 1 - Covert Persuasion Begins in the Mind

A Word about Ethics

The Power of Suggestion Changes Perception

The Right Words in a Question Form Can Direct Thinking

When Resistance Is Likely, Distraction Creates a Receptive and Easily Persuaded Mind

Eight Steps to Get Your Outcome

Chapter 2 - From “No” to “Yes”

The Most Common Reason Your Target Says “No” and How to Overcome It

Introducing Omega Strategies

Covert Persuasion: Changing Beliefs

Covert Power with Skeptical and Gullible People

Chapter 3 - Covert Strategies for Changing Beliefs

Option Attachment

Covert Persuasion Power: What Convinces?

Imaging Behavioral Scripts

Causal and Noncausal Arguments

Study about Causal/Noncausal Arguments

Great Thought Experiment

Applications

Think about These Amazing Facts of Human Behavior

Super Key! Who Sticks with their Decisions?

Chapter 4 - Covert Persuasion 101: The Tactics

Rapidly Build Resonant Rapport

Use Content to Build Rapport

Use Processes to Build Rapport

Synchronize with Your Target

Synchronize Voices

Synchronize Breathing

Synchronize Posture and Movement but Beware

Testing Synchronization

Alter the Tone, Rate, or Pitch of Your Voice

Induce Reciprocity

Make the Damaging Admission

Share Part of You with Them

Find and Point Out the Common Enemy

Tell a Short Story about Someone Like Your Target

Give Respect

Knock Their Socks Off

Always Give More Than You Promised

Use Understatement Power

Be Precise: Then Beat Your Precision

Get It Done Faster, Easier, Better

Be On the Edge of Your Seat

Ask for Compliance

Induce the Sense of Scarcity

Open the Door to a Friend

Associate the Known to the Unknown

Let Them Feel Part of the Group

Create Contrast

Don’t Ask “Why?” Because the Answer Is Meaningless

Shift Your Target’s Time Reference

Build Unshakable Credibility

Use Space as the Ultimate Covert Weapon

Construct a Pattern of Commitment and Consistency

Use Covert Hypnotic Language Patterns

Make Your Body Say What Your Words Say

Think Like a Jedi. . . . Use OBT (Outcome-Based Thinking)

Determine How People Represent Information—to Themselves and to You

FFF Technique

Deletion, Distortion, and Generalization

The Note-Taking Tactic

Lower Your Voice at the Right Moment

80/20 Rule Covert Persuasion

Inoculation to Persuade Your Prospect and Reduce Buyer’s Remorse

Flexibility

Covertly Empathetic Mind

Artfully Vague Language

Power of Three

Vocal Stress in Delivery

Experiential Involvement

Persuading with Attitude

Using Music to Persuade

Inconsistency

Fewer Choices Means You’ll Hear Yes More

People Believe What They Say, Not What You Say

Be Private in Public and You Will Be More Successful

Oscillation at the Decision Point

Chapter 5 - The Words of Covert Persuasion

Use Transformational Grammar

Transformational Vocabulary Self-Assessment Scenario

Chapter 6 - The Focused Outcome Mindset

A Focused Outcome Mindset

The Urgent and Important Matrix

The Victim Virus

Utilize the Focused Outcome Mindset

Chapter 7 - 20 Keys to Using Covert Persuasion in a Story

The Intention of Communication Is to Influence

Captivate Your Listener

Chapter 8 - Using Questions to Covertly Persuade

Irrationality

The Availability Factor

The Bottom Line

Covert Power

Internal Questions

What Do Questions Do?

The 10 Things Questions Do

Rules for Asking Questions

Questions Clarify Your Thinking

Questions Involve Your Target

It’s All in How You Ask

Chapter 9 - Using Emotions to Covertly Persuade

The Power of Emotions to Connect and Covertly Persuade People

The Uniqueness of Emotions

We Are Emotional, Then Logical

Chapter 10 - 27 Observations About People

Lesson 1: People Don’t Know How to Ask Great Questions

Lesson 2: Attitude Manipulates Experience

Lesson 3: People Need Help to Visualize

Lesson 4: People Know What They Don’t Want

Lesson 5: Speed is the Key to Getting the Job

Lesson 6: People Just Don’t Come Back

Lesson 7: Squeaky Wheel Syndrome

Lesson 8: Customers Don’t Know the Solution;You Do

Lesson 9: People Just Don’t Question Things Enough

Lesson 10: People Have Internal Gauges

Lesson 11: People are Like Pigs, Oranges, and Corn

Lesson 12: Send the Time Wasters to Your Competition

Lesson 13: People Feel Entitled

Lesson 14: Perception is Reality

Lesson 15: People are Lazy

Lesson 16: People Do More to Avoid Pain Than They Will Do to Gain Pleasure

Lesson 17: Work Fills the Time Allowed

Lesson 18: People Don’t Listen, They Wait to Talk

Lesson 19: People Don’t Laugh Enough

Lesson 20: Negative People Infect Others. Avoid Them

Lesson 21: A Limited Vocabulary Limits Your Life

Lesson 22: People Overpromise and Underdeliver

Lesson 23: Peer Pressure Doesn’t End with High School

Lesson 24: Most People Lack a Burning Desire

Lesson 25: People Just Don’t Anticipate. They React

Lesson 26: Most People Point Out Why it Won’t Work

Lesson 27: People Don’t Read

Chapter 11 - Putting It All Together

A Word about Decisions—for You

A Final Thought

Appendix - Covert Persuasion Worksheet

Bibliography

Index

NEED A SPEAKER?

Praise forCovert Persuasion

“This blockbuster book blows the doors off of many of the persuasion myths that are passed around carelessly by gurus who haven’t really done the research. It’s about time someone dealt you a persuasion hand from a deck without any jokers. If you are at all curious about persuasion, this book is absolutely essential.”

—Mark Joyner, best-selling author of The Great Formula

“Covert Persuasion is like Grandmom’s secret recipe: priceless and so delicious. Every tip and persuasion tactic is a tasty morsel that will leave you stuffed and still craving more. The only difference is Grandmom won’t tell you her secret, but Hogan and Speakman reveal every secret ingredient that you need to bring out the master persuader in you.”

—Al “The Inspiration” Duncan, professional speaker and co-author of Unleash the Greatness Within You

“When you absolutely, positively need a ‘yes,’ Covert Persuasion reveals the tools to manufacture their compliance. It is better to read this book and never use this revelatory technology than to need these techniques and find yourself stupid. You are complicit to the extent you don’t know how you’re being manipulated. Congratulations on inquiring into this power. Now, buy this book and use the force for good.”

—Ben Mack, author of the upcoming Think Two Products Ahead

“As a multiple business owner in the service industry, I highly value anything written by Dr. Hogan about the art of persuasion. Time and again, I have been able to successfully navigate tough business and legal negotiations using the knowledge and techniques I’ve learned through Dr. Hogan’s courses and books and consider his materials my ‘business persuasion bible’! I now have a respectable library of Dr. Hogan’s material that I and my staff continually reference, and I am more than excited to add his latest book, Covert Persuasion, to my collection. In fact, Dr. Hogan’s material is required reading for any new member of my business team. I won’t do business without him!”

—Michelle Drum Matteson, President of The Razorz Edge, Charleston, Illinois

“Covert Persuasion is founded in solid research. And its how-to-do-it approach should more than satisfy any who want to persuade ethically and very effectively.”

—Phil Hamilton, President of Hamilton Business Group, Austin, Texas

“Hogan and Speakman have collected a lot of valuable wisdom that’s second nature to the best salespeople in the world. It’s a handbook for the rest of us.”

—Martha Rogers, Ph.D., founder of Peppers and Rogers Group and co-author of Return on Customer: Creating Maximum Value from Your Scarcest Resource

Copyright © 2006 by Kevin Hogan and James Speakman. All rights reserved.

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey. Published simultaneously in Canada.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, [phone], fax [phone], or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, [phone], fax [phone], or online at http://www.wiley.com/go/permissions.

Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty:While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials.The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation.You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:

Hogan, Kevin.

Covert persuasion : psychological tactics and tricks to win the game /

Kevin Hogan, James Speakman.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN-13: 978-0-470-05141-2 (cloth : alk. paper)

1. Persuasion (Psychology). 2. Selling—Psychological aspects. 3.

Interpersonal communication. 4. Interpersonal relations. I. Speakman,

James, 1968- II. Title.

BF637.P4H63 2006

153.8’52—dc22

2006011009

ForKatie, Jessica, and Mark

—Kevin

ForMaria

—James

Acknowledgments

I (KH) thank our editor, Matt Holt, for making this project a reality. There are always a lot of people who inspire your work . . . or help keep you sane while you work! Scott and Carmen Schluter, Devin and Rachel Hastings, Meredith Kaplan, Ron Stubbs, Michelle Drum,Tonya Reiman,Todd Bramson, Jan Snyder, Cheryl Boldon.

I (JS) would also like to thank our editor, Matt Holt, and Kevin Hogan for the opportunity to work together on this book; Laura Kidder Dickerhoof for all her hard work, proofreading and editing; Mom and Dad for always supporting my efforts in every direction; Laura Speakman for all her help; Ray Hexamer for being a good friend and mentor; Brian Tracy for his encouragement.

Introduction

How do you persuade another person to buy or try your product or service, contribute to your cause, or vote for your candidate? The answer is in this book. Covert Persuasion is a meticulously researched book that synthesizes diverse sources of study and then draws new conclusions that will help you to persuade others more consistently and more effectively.

Covert Persuasion.The title alone draws up images of the clandestine and secretive. And obviously, that’s what our goal was for this book. Our first goal is to show you techniques and strategies to persuade others with such skill that your efforts are literally not observable. They are covert. Using the powers of Covert Persuasion in your personal and business life is not only ethical and correct, but also necessary to your overall success.

Much of Covert Persuasion deals with the accurate prediction of human behavior in any given context.

Throughout history there have been literally hundreds, if not thousands, of attempts to categorize people in an effort to better understand them and predict their behavior. A quick history of this effort reveals several of the most legendary names in psychology, philosophy, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), consumer behavior, and business. From the days of Plato, Freud, Jung, B.F. Skinner, Carl Rogers, William James, and Abraham Maslow to the more contemporary minds in psychology, business, and advertising; these great minds and others have come up with some amazing ways to try and explain our collective thinking and decision-making in order to persuade us and control and direct our behavior.

Some examples of attempts to categorize all of us include the Myers Briggs Type Indicator, the Hermann Brain Dominance Indicator, and the Language and Behavioral Profile. There are, of course, the countless personality tests that try to determine if you are well suited to a career in sales. In addition to these, there is the personality Enneagram and, of course, the standard 4-quadrant description of us as a Thinker, Relater, Socializer, or Director.

We also have the popular theory that all our behavior stems from our desire to avoid pain and seek pleasure. Can it be as simple as that? We’ll discuss that in the pages ahead.

There’s also the entire field of language research where it is believed that the words you use determine the feelings you experience. Your emotions are dictated by the labels (words) you place on the experiences you have. This research has a great history beginning in the 1950s and has remained a powerful set of principles to use as a guide as you go forward to persuade others to your way of thinking. But even this theory, as helpful as it is in some contexts, is fraught with errant thinking when analyzing others.

Everything you now have or ever will have, become, do, or ex perience, you will get with and through other people. Life IS persuasion!

The world is the ultimate context for Persuasion. Marketers and advertisers are making literally countless attempts to understand each and every one of us more clearly. They will spend hundreds of millions of dollars each year trying to grab our attention, persuade us to buy their product or service, sample their offering, vote for their candidate, and/or contribute to their cause. In fact, if you live in the United States you alone, are the recipient of over $3,200 of marketing and advertising messages each year.That’s a lot of money spent to persuade you.

In this book, we have captured a giant list of Covert Persuasion techniques. Starting inside your own head with the self-talk that is necessary for the confidence required to influence others, all the way to the final act of communicating directly with the person you want to persuade, your target person, it’s all here. We’ve researched all the techniques for you.

We believe that what you read here will ignite a passion for learning more about this fascinating subject. To help you in that never ending search for more knowledge, we’ve included a comprehensive bibliography at the end of this book.

Drawing from a wide cross section of persuasion research including experiments in social psychology, neurolinguistic programming, language research, creative thinking, sales techniques, business communication skills, and personal communication skills, you’re going to find startling new insights that will change the way you communicate forever.

We’ve included information to help you understand the other person.We’ll also cover the power of questions to persuade the other person’s thinking and behavior as well.

Our goal is to have your persuasion skills primed to an expert level so that you get more of what you want, when you want it. If you’re in sales, you will now have tools at your disposal that will, when you actively and consistently put the ideas and techniques to work every day in your working life, double or even triple your sales and commissions. It sounds wild but you won’t be in the first 1,000 to tell us that this is what transpired.

If you’re in business and you need to convince co-workers, subordinates, and/or supervisors to go along with your ideas, keep reading. You’ll find a lot of techniques here that you can use immediately to covertly persuade others to your way of thinking.

This book will become a dog-eared resource guide to help you stay focused on exactly what you want while providing you with a quick, but very powerful, collection of proven persuasion techniques.

Few people know how to look for the motivational drivers of behavior. Yet they determine what you and I do. Using the unique covert observation and subtle questioning techniques you’ll find only in this book, you’ll have a very high degree of success reading the other person. From that point, you’ll use the persuasion techniques in this book to direct their thinking and behavior toward the goals that you want accomplished.

In addition, we’ll cover the words that are more persuasive than any others when it comes to your personal and business life. These words combined in powerful stories will help you to persuade more people, more often.

Warning

The persuasion techniques in this book are designed to be used ethically. Just like a hammer is designed to drive a nail into wood, but can be misused to hit someone in the head, so these techniques are designed to increase your persuasive power for good in both your professional and personal life, and not for evil or unethical purposes.

The techniques in this book are often presented in a blunt, straightforward fashion, so you will easily be able to learn to bring someone else to your way of thinking. All of this happens in a very short amount of time with as little resistance as possible to accomplish your goals.

One more thought about ethics before we move on.When talking with other people about the ethics of this field of study, they sometimes remark that this is mean and self-serving.We strongly disagree. In fact, just the opposite is true. There is every effort made for the other person(s) to be left in the same position as before your encounter, or in an even better position.The purpose of Covert Persuasion is shown in Figure 1.1.

The Persuasion Model is far better than the old style of “Win/Win,” which we really call “Lose/Lose,” primarily because the graph clearly shows compromise which may be detrimental to both parties in gaining agreement.

The methods and tactics in this book allow you to have more of what you want more often by subtly or covertly persuading the other person to your way of thinking. It takes no more time to accomplish; however, you get all of what you want and don’t have to compromise or give up anything. Now, which method do you prefer?

We’ll cover some of the most powerful covert forces, including emotions and the power of well structured, well-thought out, outcome-based questions.

Near the end of the book you’ll find 27 specific observations about people. These are powerful insights into your own brain and the brains of your prospects and customers. These are insights you’ll probably understand right away, but now you’ll be able to use them to get others to comply with your requests more often.

FIGURE 1.1 The Persuasion Model Shows the Advantage of Persuasion versus Compromise—You Get All of What You Want.

Finally, in the closing chapter, we’ll put it all together and help you to work all of this amazing information into a form that you can actually use every single day in your personal and business life to increase your Covert Persuasion Power.

Oh! I almost forgot. A bonus for you! Throughout the book, there are $10,000 Covert Persuasion Tricks. These are very specific things that you can do to increase your effectiveness at persuading the other person. If done with maximum skill, the trick can easily yield $10,000 or more in increased sales, profits, or savings. Or, if your specific desired outcome is not literally measurable in dollars, using one of the $10,000 Covert Persuasion Tricks may yield a result that is certainly worth a great deal in terms of feelings, emotions, and the things you can’t put a price on.

That’s a lot to cover in one book—and it’s all for you!

Let’s get started!

1

Covert Persuasion Begins in the Mind

There are millions of words written about how the human brain works and about as many different opinions and theories about exactly how we think. However, one thing is for sure. In order to persuade someone else to your way of thinking, you must align your mind with theirs. Successful persuasion begins and ends when there is a “mind meld” of real meaning, feeling, and understanding.

So how do we establish this mind meld? How do we consistently become more adept at persuading other people to our way of thinking? The answer lies in understanding what motivates and drives the other person. Armed with that knowledge, you can position your thoughts and requests in such a way that they are easily and quickly accepted by other persons with little or no questioning. They’ll see you as very much like them and feel compelled to comply with your requests.

Before we get started, let’s take a look at a couple of quick definitions of exactly what “Covert” and “Persuasion” really mean. There is a lot to be learned in the understanding of the combination of these two powerful words. Let’s look at what each one means.

Covert(adj.) Concealed, hidden, secret

Persuade(n.) to cause (someone) to do something by means of argument, reasoning, or entreaty. (2) To win over (someone) to a course of action by reasoning or inducement. (3) To make (someone) believe something; convince

Persuasion(n.) the act of persuading

By definition then, things that are covert are not out in plain sight.They are kept from easy view, concealed, and hidden.When we combine this with the act of convincing someone of something we end up with our effort of persuasion not being noticed by the target person(s).

For the purpose of this book, Covert Persuasion is about bypassing the critical factor of the human mind without the process being known to the receiver of the message. It’s about getting past both resistance and reactance.This is accomplished when one person sends a message and the message is received without significant critical thought or questioning on the part of the receiver.

Sometimes Covert Persuasion is about “state” manipulation and management. What is the other person’s state of mind? That’s the question you’ll be able to answer after reading this book.

In the environment of selling, for example, the person does not have to buy the product or service; actually, buying is not a sign that Covert Persuasion has taken place. A person without money could easily have been persuaded and placed in a buying state, but he simply didn’t have the money.

A Word about Ethics

Many people ask us if it is ethical to “persuade” someone to do something. The easy answer is absolutely yes. Not only is it ethical but it’s necessary. Our economy (and our family and our business) function because of the fact that people are being persuaded to buy, try, vote, make their bed, shut the door, and contribute. Millions of communication messages are wittingly or unwittingly exchanged every single day. These are all designed to cause you and me to take some kind of action.

Ethics, however, really rest with the person who is attempting to persuade another. In the research we have done, we have uncovered and developed several hundred specific persuasion techniques. All of these are powerful.When used ethically and responsibly, they advance everyone’s position.

The Power of Suggestion Changes Perception

Covert Persuasion is, in part, about creating change in the mind of your clients or customers without them necessarily being aware of the changes that are occurring.

One of the most powerful tools to begin this change in your customer’s mind is using the right words. At the right time, the right words can change minds and lives.

The Right Words in a Question Form Can Direct Thinking

In an experiment done in the 1970s by Elizabeth Loftus (one of the world’s leading memory researchers), people viewed slides of a pedestrian-auto accident.They were shown a slide of a red Datsun (a sporty little car) at a yellow Yield sign. The group was asked, “Did you see another car pass the Datsun at the stop sign?” When asked, most of the group remembered a Stop sign instead of a Yield sign. The verbal information, the words, and the question by the researcher altered the memory of what they had seen.

Covert Persuasion.That’s one snapshot.

COVERT PERSUASION TRICK

A suggestion from an authority figure can often override a person’s visual memory to create a new and different memory. That means people will think different things depending on who is doing the telling. Imagine what would happen if you used quotes around your client’s authority figure’s words as you and he talk. “I know how much you like Bono. Well, he said . . .” And magic happens.

Our objective with Covert Persuasion is to create images in the customer’s mind that target the behavior we want (to buy, try, contribute, vote, etc). Using the correct and most powerful word combinations mixed with the right questions leads to directed thinking and, ultimately, the action of the customer toward the goals we want accomplished.

When Resistance Is Likely, Distraction Creates a Receptive and Easily Persuaded Mind

Because we naturally resist what we don’t believe and we experience reactance to all that we fear, there is a real need to help customers create new pictures with new information to allow them to arrive at a new outcome in their head.This new outcome will be favorable to you and the ultimate sale of your product or service because you helped the customer create the new picture of what the future will look like.

Funny thing is that before you paint those pictures you want to address the resistance. Whatever it is that is causing the resistance or reactance (unconscious level resistance), you typically want to address it. In fact, for the most part, if you don’t preclude it, you must address it.

People are quickly receptive to information and attitudes that agree with their point of view. People will formulate arguments on the spot against any point of view that disagrees with their currently held belief. Always discover current beliefs and attitudes so you can affirm them in some way. On the other hand, do not have your customer verbally state anything that you will want him to change later. Once an attitude is communicated (verbally or in writing) it will be maintained, even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

COVERT PERSUASION TRICK

Resistance is diminished when people agree with the presented point of view.

Affirm the individual’s point of view.

Eight Steps to Get Your Outcome

There are a number of models (clusters of tactics that make up a strategy) for utilizing Covert Persuasion. Here’s the first.

1. Identify a targeted problem/situation. This is the thing your target no longer wants to experience. It could be high costs, high employee turnover, inventory spoilage, ineffective advertising, almost anything that’s not going right (and that your product or service is well suited to solve).

2. Help your customer see that continuing with this problem/situation without addressing it will ultimately cost him/her in many painful ways. There is powerful psychology behind this tactic.Trigger the pain button first, before even beginning to talk about possible solutions or how you, your product, or your service can help.

3. Have your customers/clients identify a preferred outcome. It is critical to have them choose a better outcome. Sometimes this is prompted by a simple question from you like: “What would you rather have happen?” or “What would be better than that?” or “What would be a perfect outcome for you?”

4. Have your customers identify the consequences of this new outcome. This is very important in helping them accept the new outcome. This step is also prompted by questions that you will ask. It’s often as simple as: “What would this new outcome mean for you and your company?” When they answer they are forming a new thought direction that will lead them to your product or service.

5. Confirm that this new chosen outcome is what they really want. Sometimes clients/customers will tell you what they think you want to hear. This doesn’t help anyone. They must tell the truth. They have to be honest with themselves, and with you, for real solid behavior to follow (saying “yes” to cooperating with you and all the actions that involves).

6. You need to be certain the new outcome is truly going to be good for your customer/client. It does no long-term good for your reputation or your company’s reputation to do a quick short-term, bad-fit sale. No, you want the customer to truly benefit from all the features of your product or service. So, make sure the fit is genuine and true.

7. Do not judge. If you perceive a response by a customer or client to be inappropriate don’t be too quick to judge it. He might have a different point of view than you do as you both initially meet. Take some time to understand and relate to clients. Once you do this, their response may seem to make more sense and you might find they are resonating 100 percent with your message.

8. Never tell your target person he is wrong. This is a restatement of that old saying,“The customer is always right!”That may not always be true, but it’s a good caution sign in your own mind. When you think about it, how would you feel if someone told you that you were wrong? You would probably get defensive and try to show or prove that you were in fact right. You would end up clinging more tightly to that position. Your customers will react the exact same way. Never tell them they are wrong or that buying your competitors’ product last year was a mistake.Your customers will immediately wonder if buying from you would be a mistake.

2

From “No” to “Yes”

The Most Common Reason Your Target Says “No” and How to Overcome It

The reason that word “no” comes out of people’s mouths is because it is an instant reaction. They did this or something like this before and they determined quickly it was a bad decision. About 90 percent of all “No’s” come from this background.

Now pay close attention.

COVERT PERSUASION FACT

“No” is an instant reaction and doesn’t mean anything. People don’t know why they say “no.” They don’t know why they do what they do; especially in retrospect and they will perform opposite behaviors depending on the words you use in each communication you have. In other words, people are utterly out of control . . . until the Covert Persuasion Expert walks in the door.

Imagine you’re enjoying a shower. All of a sudden the water turns cold. You turn around in the shower and quickly turn the temperature up up up. But it doesn’t go up. Someone else is using the hot water in the house! You turn it off instantly. That relaxing 20-minute shower has been destroyed. Six months later you still remember the episode as someone being incredibly rude and that it was a bad shower. You absolutely don’t remember the previous 20 minutes of relaxation.

The next day you take a five-minute shower. It feels good. Warm, relaxing. But you remember that someone will probably start using the hot water so you get out fairly quickly, and it was a nice shower. Relaxing, if short. And later that week, you remember that it was a good shower.

All relationships have ups and downs. Most of the time they are in the middle. Much of your time is spent working, cleaning the house.You are not focusing on the relationship with your housemate. Then you go through a period where the two of you argue, fight, and bicker. Ugh. It’s horrible! Time for a new relationship. The news is broken. Arguments escalate.You knew it! And for the rest of your life you tell people that you can’t believe you stuck with that relationship for 25 years.

In order to understand how to influence others you need to understand how people make decisions, how they remember the past, and how they see the future. This is what has been missing for many and what makes persuasion a “numbers game” for most.

As you’ve seen from the above examples:

1. People remember peak experiences, especially the really bad ones.

2. They certainly remember how things end.

COVERT PERSUASION TRICK

People remember peak experiences (especially the bad ones) and how things end.

When asking about your competitor, elicit the peak experiences and the customer’s last experience. (They wouldn’t be seeing you if they were totally satisfied.)

When changing your customer’s state of mind (if necessary), have him bring you to peak experiences and remember the last time he bought something that was a brilliant purchase.

3. People do not see the future clearly.They do not know how they will feel when certain events come to pass, even if they’re looking forward to them.

You will see that all of this is crucial in communication, persuasion, and obviously your business and relationships.

COVERT PERSUASION TACTIC

People experience fear because they don’t see the future clearly. It’s ambiguous. It’s scary. It’s NO . . . until you bring them out there safely!

In fact, this might be some of the most important information you have ever learned.

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and then that person says, “Why did you say that?”

“I didn’t say that!”

“Yes, you did, I heard you!”

“I did not!”

That night in separate conversations (or journal entries) both of you make the other person out to be an idiot or thoughtless or something else that isn’t positive.

Clearly one of you is incorrect, but both of you are equally certain that your memory is correct. The fact is that trying to resolve this is impossible. This is the problem of memory. The brain makes stuff up out of thin air to fill in blank spots. Everyone experiences these moments where they said or heard (or saw!) something that actually wasn’t articulated or heard.You can’t convince a brain otherwise because, it was there!

Now, if you can’t rely on memory to know what really happened 30 seconds ago, how can you rely on it for accurately representing what happened in the past? Answer: You can’t but only you know this.You know this if you read Coffee with Kevin Hogan, the must-have e-zine that comes every week in your e-mailbox. (Subscribe at www.kevinhogan.com.) The other person doesn’t read Coffee! Therefore you have to either move past this point or give him a short course in neuroscience.You can start with this:

In one recent research study, people were having a necessary colonoscopy. During the process they were asked to report their level of discomfort at regular intervals. At the end of the process for one group the scope was allowed to simply “not move” for a minute right before it was removed. The other group had the scopes removed a minute earlier (when the colonoscopy was actually finished) and with no additional minute of rest.

Results: The group who had the scope in longer but finished easier remember the colonoscopy very differently from those who had the shorter time colonoscopy. The colonoscopy group that had the extra minute of no scope movement while still inserted, remembered the colonoscopy as “not that bad.”The group that had no extra moments of rest remembered it as much worse.

COVERT PERSUASION TRICK

Key point