Fight Like a Man E-Book

Emeal "E..Z." Zwayne

• Herausgeber: BroadStreet Publishing Group, LLC
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2024

Seitenzahl: 463

Beschreibung

Win the war for purity.   In a world that seeks to destroy sexual purity, the battle for holiness has never been fiercer nor the stakes higher. Sexual immorality has devastated too many men, damaged too many families, and marred the gospel's testimony too many times. Now is the time to prepare yourself to fight.   In Fight Like a Man, Emeal "E.Z." Zwayne presents biblical truth for combatting the enemies of purity that seek to hold you captive in sin. Not content to just reveal your adversaries' tactics, E.Z. also provides an arsenal of simple yet revolutionary strategies to equip you to conquer lust through the power of gospel-centered grace and the knowledge of God's mind-blowing character. No matter your past, you can embrace the freedom available in Christ and the fullness of a life that honors God with every thought, word, and deed.   There is hope on the battlefield of purity. Fight like the man God created you to be and join the ranks of those who have fought this battle and emerged as true spiritual victors.  

Leseprobe

“Fleshly lusts…wage war against the soul” (1 Peter 2:11 NASB). Carnal passions pose the deadliest kind of spiritual danger, even for believers. The battle we face against such temptations must not be undertaken half-heartedly. Emeal “E.Z.” Zwayne gives an urgent and inspiring call to arms for men in the throes of temptation—and he rightly sounds the trumpet without any hint of uncertainty. If you are not winning the war against carnal lusts, read Fight Like a Man. Every man needs the help this excellent book offers.

Dr. John MacArthur, senior pastor of Grace Community Church

If God made men to fight, the most essential battles are won not by the strongest or most experienced but by those warriors who have clean hands and a pure heart. They’re not perfect but purehearted like David. If you want to slay the giant of lust in your youth or kill the monster of sexual shame once and for all or finally become “a man after God’s own heart,” read Fight Like a Man. It’s an eye-opening and transformational book! Like a powerful Jedi Master, Emeal “E.Z.” Zwayne shares practical and precise biblical principles that will teach you how to put to death the evil deeds of darkness and grow strong in your abilities as a mighty man of faith, integrity, and courage.

Kirk Cameron, actor and producer

I believe beyond any doubt that the Bible has proven to be more relevant than tomorrow’s breaking news. The Word of God holds the answers to every situation of life. Emeal “E.Z.” Zwayne has masterfully woven together profound insights, practical guidance, and unwavering biblical truth to illuminate the often-challenging journey toward sexual purity. Grounded in the timeless teachings of Scripture, this publication serves as a beacon of hope and a road map for those seeking to live a life in accordance with God’s design.

Jack Hibbs, senior pastor of Calvary Chapel Chino Hills

If you look up the word wisdom in the dictionary, you’ll see a picture of Emeal “E.Z.” Zwayne. Whenever I need godly wisdom (and it’s often), he is my go-to person. As you read Fight Like a Man, which is unquestionably one of the most powerful books of its kind, you also will partake in the riches of his godly discernment. This insightful book is written from a passionate conviction that is rooted in personal experience and in Scripture. It’s a practical battle plan for this never-ending war that rages in the soul of every man. As you soak in its truths, they will strengthen you in your walk and help you guard yourself from the sharp and fiery darts of the Evil One.

Ray Comfort, founder and CEO of Living Waters

Sadly, today’s males who are voyeuristically seeking to feel like men while staring into their electronic screens are in fact stripping away their masculinity one click and fantasy at a time. E.Z.’s insightful and forthright approach to tackling the variety of expressions of this private struggle with illicit lusts provides the biblical light and spiritual equipment for men to fight this good fight of faith in their sanctification. Read this book and make sure it is utilized far and wide to help today’s Christian males become real men.

Dr. Mike Fabarez, senior pastor of Compass Bible Church

This book is a weapon that should hang on every man’s spiritual wall. With his inimitable passion and creative flare, E.Z. provides a tremendous resource to battle the life-destroying sins of lust, pornography, and adultery. Through heartfelt narratives and practical insights, this book emphasizes the paramount importance of purity and guides readers toward building meaningful, lasting, and God-honoring relationships.

Dr. Tony Wood, pastor-teacher of Mission Bible Church

The title of this book alone is enough to make every feminist furious… and every demon tremble. Fight Like a Man is the book you need to defeat the enemy of pornography because it is loaded with one weapon sufficient for victory: the Word of God. Emeal “E.Z.” Zwayne bleeds Bible, and that is precisely what you need to mortify the deeds of the flesh. You don’t need a feather duster as you engage in your battle against porn. You need weapons of mass destruction. Fight Like a Man will arm you to wage war and finally have victory over the sin that so entangles you.

Todd Friel, host of Wretched Radio and Wretched TV

Lust breeds despair—but the gospel produces hope. That’s the truth that pulses like an uncontained electrical current through this biblical, spiritual, and, dare I say, fun book from Emeal “E.Z.” Zwayne. E.Z.’s mind is so lively that he offers us men numerous thought devices and helpful mnemonics by which to kill sin and glorify Christ. Here is a book we have been waiting for and greatly needing. It will strengthen us to say a joyful yes to Jesus but a firm NOPE to temptation.

Dr. Owen Strachan, provost and research professor of theology at Grace Bible Theological Seminary

Scripture promises, “No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man” (1 Corinthians 10:13 NASB1995). Nevertheless, certain temptations assault men today with a frequency and ferocity that our ancestors did not face. The internet and other media relentlessly push vivid content designed only to appeal to the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes. The devil, the world, and our own carnal desires collude to try to gain mastery over us and hold us under sin’s power. This is where spiritual warfare is most real and most dangerous. Men today more than ever need to take a militant stance against these temptations, armed with the full panoply of spiritual armor. We must be ruthlessly aggressive in the war against sin—not merely to tame or manage it but to mortify it completely. E.Z. understands the urgency of this need, and he has written this remarkably practical, helpful, and encouraging call to arms for men under siege.

Phil Johnson, executive director of Grace to You

Sin is sin, right? All sin is exceedingly sinful, but sexual sin is singled out in Scripture as particularly pernicious and injurious. My friend Emeal “E.Z.” Zwayne has taken this tough issue head on. Fight Like a Man is not only gospel centered and saturated with Scripture; it is also a truly enjoyable and engaging read. It is very relatable. E.Z. writes in such a way that you will not only be brought face-to-face with the sobering dangers of this deadly sin but also be encouraged to fight this battle with the very real hope and power found in the gospel. This book is a page-turner and one I promise you will be glad you have read. I have many conversations with and receive many emails from men who confess to me that lust is a besetting sin with which they constantly battle and fear they will never gain victory. It will be my joy to recommend this book to them, and it is my joy to enthusiastically recommend it to you.

Justin Peters, president of Justin Peters Ministries

It is hard to stay clean in a coal mine, and it is hard “to keep oneself unspotted from the world” (James 1:27). But the book you hold in your hand is a bar of biblical soap that will help wash off the dirt and grime of sexual temptation and sin in a man’s life. Here is a book that comes clean on the need for men to fight for their purity and how to do it and how to do it victoriously in Christ. Victory in the battle for purity will cost, but defeat costs more so. As E.Z.’s pastor, I wholeheartedly endorse the message of this book and its author.

Philip De Courcy, pastor of Kindred Community Church and teacher on the

Know the Truth radio program

BroadStreet Publishing® Group, LLC

Savage, Minnesota, USA

BroadStreetPublishing.com

Fight Like a Man: A Bold, Biblical Battle Plan for Personal Purity

Copyright © 2024 Emeal Zwayne

9781424568550 (softcover)

9781424568567 (ebook)

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the New King James Version® (NKJV). Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked ESV are taken from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible® (NASB). Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995, 2020 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.Lockman.org. Scripture quotations marked NASB1995 are taken from the New American Standard Bible® (NASB). Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.Lockman.org. Scripture quotations marked KJV are taken from the King James Version of the Bible, public domain.

Cover and interior by Garborg Design Works | garborgdesign.com

Printed in China

24 25 26 27 28 5 4 3 2 1

To my precious wife, Rachel—“You excel them all” (Proverbs 31:29).

To my darling daughters, Julia, Summer, and Kylie, who are lovelier than the daughters of Job.

To my beloved sons, Luke and Danny, and my dear son-in-law, Matthias—all great men of valor, even mightier than the mighty men of David, alongside whom I’m honored to fight.

To my late father and mother, Francis and Rosette, who gave me life, love, and guidance.

To my siblings, Frank, Mona, Nadia, and Nada, who are the best brother and sisters ever.

To my mother-in-law, Sue, whose kindness and care have enriched my life.

To my father-in-law, my boss, my mentor, my friend, and the most faithful man of God I’ve ever known, Ray Comfort. Only eternity will reveal the incalculable impact you’ve had on my life.

To my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ— without whom I am nothing.

CONTENTS

Foreword

Preface

1The Theater of War: Setting the Stage

PART 1: THE DEVIL

2Public Enemy Number One

3The Devil’s “Same Old, Same Old”: Discontent, Disbelief, and Deification

4Blitzkrieg: The Devil’s Playbook for Sexual Temptations

5Counterattack: How to Beat the Devil at His Own Game

6How to Decimate Discontent

7How to Defeat Disbelief

8How to Destroy Deification

PART 2: THE FLESH

9The Enemy within You

10Prayer: The Christian’s Spiritual Morse Code

11God’s Word: The Believer’s Excalibur

12Fellowship: The Saint’s Warship

13Evangelism: The Disciple’s Secret Weapon

14Putting a Bow on the Fruit of the Spirit

PART 3: THE WORLD

15The Enemy All around You

16The World’s Wisdom

17The World’s Ways

PART 4: SIX CS AND A NOPE

18Creation: Wield Wonders as Wellsprings for Worship, Not Weapons for Wounding

19Cross: Stop Spitting and Stomping on Such a Sacred Symbol

20Crisis: Consider the Catastrophic Consequence of Compromise

21Crown: Envision Endurance Ensuring Eternal Enrichment

22Crowd: Do as the Departed Did and Don’t Dispense Devastation

23Christ: Seek the Sweet Savior for Strength, Satisfaction, and Sympathetic Support

24NOPE

CONCLUSION

25Run That by Me One More Time

Author’s Note

About the Author

FOREWORD

We live at a time when there is a great lack of godly male leadership in the world. God gave men the role of being influential leaders in every sphere of society, but so many men have shirked this important responsibility. And Scripture warns us that because of our sin nature, men will not want to be leaders as they should be.

Also, as descendants of Adam, we have a sin nature that wants to be master over our lives. In this fallen world we live in, it is so easy for men to let sin master them and allow destructive sinful desires to rule over them, thus destroying their ability to be the godly leaders they’ve been called to be.

In a masterful way, my good friend Emeal Zwayne, or “E.Z.” as he is called, deals head-on with the issues of male leadership and sexual sin that so need to be addressed in our church culture.

It’s “no holds barred” for E.Z. as he challenges men concerning sexual purity. The statistics of men addicted to pornography and other sexual sins, even in the church, are horrific. But E.Z. doesn’t just give statistics and his opinions (though he does include engaging stories from his family and travels). I love the way he begins by building his entire case on God’s Word, beginning in Genesis. Genesis 1–11 is the foundation for everything, for the rest of the Bible, for a truly Christian worldview, and for all doctrine. That is the only place to start to build the correct worldview for roles and behavior.

Remember, “The word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12 ESV). E.Z. uses God’s Word to challenge men concerning their thoughts and behavior. Warning: this book is extremely convicting.

Men can have victory in the area of sexual purity by not letting this sin become master over them. They can overcome any temptation in Christ. “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it” (1 Corinthians 10:13 NKJV). That’s why we all need to judge our behavior and thoughts against the absolute authority of God’s Word. And E.Z. challenges men to do just that.

It’s time for Christian men to rise up and be real men—men as God intended men to be.

I’ve heard marketing for tours of the Holy Land say that after you visit Israel, “you’ll never be the same.” Men, read this book, and I guarantee you will never be the same.

Founder and CEO of Answers in Genesis, the Creation Museum, and the Ark Encounter

PREFACE

Necessity and passion. Critics have rightly said that these two elements must be present for any book to reach its highest potential and achieve its greatest impact. I can’t think of a time in the annals of human history when there was a greater necessity for addressing the topic of sexual purity. And the thought of liberating men from bondage to sexual sin infuses this writer with more passion than words could ever express.

There’s no question that sexual immorality has reigned supreme across the generations since Adam and Eve’s fall in the garden of Eden. However, man’s ever-deepening plunge into depravity over many millennia and the aid that modern technologies provide for the enhancement of carnal pleasures have combined to create a climate of perversion unlike anything this planet has seen since its creation.

It may be safe to say that authors within the span of multiple generations have sufficiently covered certain topics and that new books dealing with the same subject matter would be painfully redundant. But I would contend that the issue of sexual purity is a rare exception in this regard—and this is true for two main reasons. First, owing to the insidious, pervasive, and overtly destructive nature of sexual immorality, enough books could never be written to help men find victory in this arena. Secondly, there is an unfortunate and glaring dearth of books written on this topic from a soundly biblical perspective.

The tragic and inevitable by-product of such an atmosphere is a debilitating desensitization to the seriousness of sexual sin. A worldly “Christianity” that has sold its soul to this godless age for the sake of acceptance, relevance, and ease has partly facilitated this desensitization. Tragically, this confluence of elements has left the men of this era in a very precarious predicament. And the church’s abdication of duty has deprived men of the correction, exhortation, guidance, and scriptural truth that they so desperately need.

I know—this all sounds quite dismal, doesn’t it? But it’s against the stifling darkness of such bleak backdrops that the glorious gospel shines brightest. The gospel of Christ is far more than an instrument through which souls are saved. It’s also the inexhaustible source and ever-flowing fountain of spiritual riches that supplies the redeemed with every necessary component for developing and nurturing a God-oriented life. So it’s by no coincidence that this book is thoroughly gospel-centric, and it’s expressly because of the hope that the gospel lavishly supplies that I’ve written it. What a glorious hope that is! Christ became sin for sinners so that He can impute His spotless righteousness to their account (Romans 5:21). He then takes those who stand in that perfect righteousness and begins to sanctify them day by day as He progressively conforms them into the image of Christ (Hebrews 10:14; Romans 8:29).

When the gospel’s power is fully unleashed, it quickens a complacent church to proclaim the truth to its people, reverses the curse of desensitization to sin, and tenderly draws believers toward genuine repentance. This, after all, is what God designed His glorious gospel of grace to do: “The grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age” (Titus 2:11–12).

I hope this liberating and transforming gospel grace will activate a zeal for righteousness in every man who reads this book. I pray that the awareness that they are not their own but were bought with the precious, priceless blood of Christ will cause them to flee sexual immorality and to glorify God with their body and spirit, which belong to Him (1 Corinthians 6:18–20).

1

THE THEATER OF WAR

SETTING THE STAGE

A Man Forged in Fire

As exploding grenades and mortar bombs lit up the night sky on the island of Guadalcanal, the beleaguered warriors from First Battalion, Seventh Marines were in for the fight of their lives. Stranded in the South Pacific on one of the more than nine hundred islands that make up Solomon Islands, the small US contingent of World War II combatants was under siege by three thousand Japanese troops. Outnumbered and outgunned, the marines bravely held their ground and repelled wave after wave of enemy fighters. Just when it seemed like they were turning the tide, incoming fire damaged and disabled one of the combat crews’ main artillery. Defying every instinct of self-preservation, the commanding officer, Gunnery Sergeant John Basilone, did the unthinkable. Exposing himself to flying bullets and hidden enemies attacking at random, he ran six hundred feet to the defunct pit while carrying close to one hundred pounds of weapons and ammunition. Back and forth he went between his foxhole and that of his comrades, providing supplies and aid while simultaneously picking off opposing soldiers with nothing but a pistol in hand.

Having lost his special gloves, which were necessary protection from the searing heat generated by his machine gun, Basilone sustained burns from holding it barehanded. He was credited with killing thirty-eight enemies himself, and as one of his fellow marines, Nash W. Phillips, reported, “Basilone had a machine gun on the go for three days and nights without sleep, rest, or food.”1

After the battalion victoriously survived the battle, Phillips was being treated for his injuries when the sergeant came in to check on him. “He was barefooted, and his eyes were red as fire,” Phillips recalled. “His face was dirty black from gunfire and lack of sleep. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to his shoulders. He had a .45 tucked into the waistband of his trousers. He’d just dropped by to see how I was making out; me and the others in the section. I’ll never forget him.”2

After receiving the Congressional Medal of Honor, John Basilone was given the opportunity to spend the rest of the war in the safety of Washington, DC. John refused and instead returned to the heat of battle. In his final act of courage, bravery, and selflessness, he stormed the shores of Iwo Jima on February 19, 1945. While Sergeant Basilone’s life ended there, the ripples created by his sacrificial heroism continue to touch lives around the world to this day.3

I wonder how John Basilone’s story strikes you. Does his legendary altruism rouse a sense of admiration in your heart? Does his harrowing sacrifice evoke terror in the core of your being as you imagine yourself running across the raging battlefield in his boots? Is it possible that perhaps—in a sort of defining moment—it inspires a longing in you to follow in his footsteps as you fight your way through the biggest war of all—the one we call life?

A Man-to-Man Talk about Real Manhood

I wish you and I were sitting together at my favorite coffee shop right now. It’s a rustic kind of place. A mixture of used bricks, rough wood, metal fixtures, and distressed concrete floors makes it the perfect setting for a good old-fashioned, man-to-man talk. I would look you straight in the eye and ask you a fundamental question, the kind of question that every man should be asked—or at least the one that every man should be asking himself: What defines a real man?

Does this bring back memories of a US Supreme Court nominee saying no after a senator asked her if she could define the word woman? You and I both know that the world has completely lost its perspective on all things related to gender. When so-called influencers tell us that “men” can menstruate and conceive babies and when expectant mothers are now called “birthing persons” who have the ability to “chest feed,” you know that, Houston, we’ve got far more than just a problem. We’ve got an epic catastrophe on our hands. At a time when those who occupy the highest and most respectable echelons of society are publicly declaring that they can’t define what a man or a woman is, is it any wonder that men are losing sight of what it really means to be a man?

What I’m about to say has become so taboo in our upside-down world that those who would dare even to whisper this sort of thing are instantly shunned, cast out, and “canceled” as immoral dregs by the self-appointed guardians of this godless age. For the pleasure of my Savior and out of love for others, I’ll gladly endure that ill-treatment—and much worse. Here goes! Note this well: John Basilone’s life bears the marks of real manhood.

Before you tune out here, let me put some meat on those bones. Sergeant Basilone’s masculinity was not determined by the fact that he was a marine, nor was it because he was physically tough or adept at combat. It was not even because he might have been athletic, had a thick beard, or spoke in a deep voice. A male can be all those things and still not act like a real man. And by the same token, Basilone could have been none of those things and still have been the manliest of men.

Our war hero’s life bears the marks of real manhood because real men demonstrate character, courage, commitment, conviction, devotion, and loyalty. And what’s more, they’re willing to sacrifice for the sake of others and for causes greater than themselves. Most importantly, real men are willing to fight for what’s right, and they do so in the energy and spirit of those indispensable attributes I just highlighted. Pastor and author Robert Lewis reinforces and aptly articulates what I’m trying to convey:

What is a real man?…A real man is one who:

rejects passivity

accepts responsibility

leads courageously

expects the greater reward…God’s reward.

This manhood vision desperately needs to be proclaimed throughout our society.4

What Type of Warrior Are You?

So back to that other kind of war that I mentioned. While a tiny percentage of the world’s men will ever traipse across the theater of conventional warfare, every man born of a woman—and that’s every man—enters this world as an enlisted private in the inescapable war of life. While that automatic designation, by default, includes the title of warrior, a man’s chosen conduct in that capacity will determine the qualifying adjective that precedes that inherited title. Certain men choose irresponsibility and go AWOL. Others opt to become traitors and consort with the enemy. Some pick the pathway of faintheartedness and raise the white flag of surrender. And then you have the men of mediocrity—the ones who do the absolute minimum to get by and barely survive. These are the irresponsible, traitorous, cowardly, and mediocre warriors. But a few determine to tread the road less traveled and become the faithful, honorable, relentless, dedicated, and victorious warriors.

Within the broader context of the war of life, there is a sort of sub-war that every man finds himself engulfed in. It typically starts at the onset of puberty and fluctuates in intensity across the varying seasons of adulthood, even into the senior years. I’m obviously talking about the war of sexual temptations.

It would be silly to ask you which type of warrior you want to be in this relentless war. Which God-fearing man would ever seriously say, Oh, I most certainly want to be an irresponsible, traitorous, cowardly, and mediocre warrior in the war of sexual temptations? Chances are that most of the men reading this book will have, by now, crossed over the threshold of puberty. This means that you, my friend, have already made your warrior debut. So instead of asking you what type of warrior you would like to be, it’s better to ask what type of warrior you have been in your various battles thus far.

Hope for the Weary

I realize at this point that the thought of quietly putting this book to rest may seem very appealing to you. Perhaps you’ve failed miserably with one stumble into sexual sin after another. Your list may include pornography or masturbation. Maybe you’ve gone as far as fornication or adultery. It could even be a combination of some or all those things. And it’s also possible that you can honestly say that your only struggle in the sexual realm has been with the sin of proactively lusting after women in your heart. This could be through images of clothed women (whether in skimpy swimwear or other immodest apparel) that you’ve searched out or have come across online and via other mediums. Or maybe your main battle has entailed lusting after women you’ve seen in public or that you’ve conjured up in your imagination.

No matter how big or prolonged or shameful your sexual sins have been, an overwhelming abundance of hope is available to you in the inexhaustible love and grace of God. The glorious gospel, secured by the death and resurrection of Christ, not only redeems and regenerates but also enables transformative change as it empowers you in ways you may never have thought possible.

In Finally Free—one of the most insightful and practical books written on the subject of sexual purity—Heath Lambert beautifully extoled the hope we have in Christ with these powerful words:

There is no porn user so enslaved that Jesus cannot set him or her free. There is no struggle for purity so intense that Jesus’ grace cannot win the battle. There is no consequence so steep that Jesus’ power cannot carry you through. Jesus’ grace to change you is stronger than pornography’s power to destroy you. Jesus’ grace is stronger than your own desires to watch sex. While there is no hope for you in looking at pornography, there is all the hope in the universe when you look to God and His grace.5

Despite how much you may have failed thus far in your calling to be a faithful, honorable, relentless, dedicated, and victorious warrior, your magnificent Redeemer has made provision for you to change the trend and begin fighting like a man.

But unfortunately, real men are in short supply today. Cultural theologian P. Andrew Sandlin couldn’t have said it better: “One of the most tragic cultural shifts of the U.S. in the last quarter century is the loss of rugged manliness. In my experience, most young men, including young Christian men, suffer from laziness; lack of ambition; obsession with cheap entertainment; a void of chivalry or protection of women; and a whiny, self-centered, non-risktaking disposition.”6

And yet, God’s Word exhorts us to pursue a higher standard—the standard of real manhood. “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong” (1 Corinthians 16:13 ESV).

In his exposition of this verse, Dr. John MacArthur said the following about what it means to act like a man:

“Act like men” essentially means to conduct one’s self in a courageous way…

Courage is the stock-in-trade of a man: courage in the face of danger, courage in the face of temptation… There’s nothing more manly than a man with consummate conviction, courage, and endurance, who is marked by love. That’s a man—not weak, not vacillating, not fearful; and loving.

Real men face life with this kind of fortitude. They’re watchful of the dangers around them. They’re alert. They’re protectors of their wives and children, and of their friends and all the people over whom they have influence.7

Are you willing to stand with that kind of fortitude and fight like a man, my brother? Will you determine to stand and be counted? Will you exert every ounce of energy within you to battle through your war of sexual temptations in the same fashion that John Basilone battled his way through World War II? Will you demonstrate character, courage, commitment, conviction, devotion, and loyalty? Will you sacrifice for the sake of others—like your wife, your children, your grandchildren, your parents, your siblings, your friends, your church family, the young people who look up to you as an example, and the older people who have invested their lives in you? And will you lay down your life, through death to self, for causes greater than yourself—like the testimony of the gospel and the glory of God?

A Battle Plan for Your Battle

Let’s not be self-deceived about the seriousness and intensity of this war. It’s easy for us to psych ourselves up and get inspired by a rousing story like John Basilone’s. But as I’m sure you’ve learned from life by now, feelings of inspiration come and go. It’s one thing to envision ourselves doing something with great gusto and enthusiasm. But when the rubber meets the road, it’s an entirely different matter.

Can you relate? If you’re a man with red blood flowing through your veins and you’ve never shouted out words such as, “I feel like I’m about to go crazy!” or at least belted them out in the echoey corridors of your exasperated mind, perhaps an emergency pulse check is in order. And while you may have used those words in any number of circumstances, you and I both know that they were never infused with more passion, intensity, and frustration than when you’ve unleashed them in the context of a struggle with sexual temptations.

It’s often been said that there’s no force on earth more powerful than the sex drive. There are days when every man has felt like his sex drive could give nuclear energy a run for its money. Though it’s true that the overwhelming majority of men at some time find themselves under the sway of sexual urges, this struggle bears an altogether different dynamic for the Christian man. While the unbeliever is a helpless slave to sin and typically exerts no resistance against its dictates, the believer is a slave to Christ and, therefore, finds himself constantly fighting against sexual urges out of a genuine desire to please the Master.

As the battle for sexual purity rages hot in the sincerest and most committed of Christ’s servants, many grow exasperated, disheartened, and disillusioned when trying to find a pathway to victory. Some of this is due to misunderstanding the nature of the struggle itself. In other cases, it’s because the Christian does not realize that he has received all things that pertain to life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3), which includes victory over sexual temptations. But one element that many men often overlook is the fact that they don’t have a comprehensive and gospel-centered battle plan that integrates the fear of God and dynamic spiritual discipline with a biblical understanding of the fallen nature of this world and the spiritual resources available to them in Christ.

A soldier who runs out onto a military battlefield clad in a bathrobe and fluffy slippers with “champagne wishes and caviar dreams” will quickly realize that he really has a death wish and a nightmare on his hands. You’re self-deluded if you think that you’re on a luxury yacht cruising toward a resort in Bora-Bora when, in reality, you’re on a Higgins boat heading for the shores of John Basilone’s Guadalcanal. Both disillusion and demise will be the inevitable outcome because, let’s face it, vacationers aren’t looking to fight or to carry out battle plans; they’re fixin’ to feast and frolic.

A wartime mentality is hard to cultivate when we live in an atmosphere of ease and luxury—with overwhelming distractions and allurements constantly enticing us to relax, kick up our feet, and coast. The war that rages about us is an invisible one, and this is where the deception lies. While we feel the tension of spiritual battle in the heat of sexual temptation, we don’t really sense it very keenly at other times—and this is the very thing that fosters and perpetuates the deceptive illusion, leading us to become complacent and live out most of our days with a peacetime mentality. Then, when the battle suddenly becomes apparent to us, we scramble to fight like an equipped soldier, though we have done nothing whatsoever to adequately equip ourselves.

But before the spiritual battle has reached the boiling point of intense sexual temptation, a thousand other fierce clashes and skirmishes are being waged against our souls—at times directly, at other times behind the scenes—and we cannot let our guard down or turn our back on the Enemy for even one second. Ephesians reminds us of the invisible nature of the warfare that I just referenced, making it clear that we don’t wrestle against flesh and blood; our battle is a spiritual one. And our armor and weaponry are invisible and spiritual as well (Ephesians 6:10–17).

This sobering exhortation by Charles H. Spurgeon is worthy of note: “If you will tell me when God permits a Christian to lay aside his armour, I will tell you when Satan has left off temptation. Like the old knights in war time, we must sleep with helmet and breastplate buckled on, for the arch-deceiver will seize our first unguarded hour to make us his prey. The Lord keep us watchful in all seasons, and give us a final escape from the jaw of the lion and the paw of the bear.”8

To help you further grasp the indispensable necessity of this kind of posture and mindset for every Christian man, focus on these eyeopening words from Passions of the Heart, Dr. John Street’s exemplary and authoritative work on the subject of sexual purity:

You must go to battle against sexual lust with the attitude of a soldier—but a soldier who recognizes his own inability to secure a victory. As a soldier, you must be willing to die to self to gain final freedom from sexual slavery. Only then will you realize the transforming grace of Jesus Christ that will bring the final conquest. In the meantime, you are in this battle, waging war against the flesh on the battlefield of the heart. The war is tough because the enemy is often varied, layered, and constantly reproducing. The enemy also knows the territory.9

Preventative Preparedness

Remember that war doesn’t just involve direct confrontation on the battlefield. That’s the typical culmination of the grander scheme of war. Every wise nation that has enemies, just like every wise man who has spiritual foes seeking to destroy him in the war of sexual temptations, will do everything necessary to avert a direct attack by those who seek to destroy it.

We might think that strong national security is the possession of a sovereign state that maintains overwhelming military might. This, of course, is true but not for the reasons that may seem immediately apparent. We subconsciously conclude that this type of security exists because a particular nation constantly uses its robust military capabilities to directly war against other countries, thus vanquishing them and rendering them a nonthreat. But that’s often not the case. In many instances, the strong security of a particular nation is a reality because most other nations would never dare attack it on the battlefield. This is specifically due to what I call its extreme preventative preparedness. This includes hyperorganizing, advanced and rigorous training, amassing devastating and state-of-the-art weaponry, and implementing superior defense capabilities, not to mention forming strong alliances with other powerful nations that would immediately come to its defense. This kind of provident, preventative preparedness minimizes such a nation’s need to unleash its military might. Simply, as I stated already, other nations wouldn’t dare attack it in a conventional way. This is what many military leaders call peace through strength. And in the rare event that some misguided regime would be foolhardy enough to launch an assault against such a nation, they would undoubtedly rue the day.

It’s in this spirit, as it relates to one of our main enemies (and principally applies to the rest), that Scripture reminds us to “submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you” (James 4:7–8).

Once again, Charles H. Spurgeon captured this well:

Satan does not often attack a Christian who is living near to God. It is when the Christian departs from his God, becomes spiritually starved, and endeavours to feed on vanities, that the devil discovers his vantage hour. He may sometimes stand foot to foot with the child of God who is active in his Master’s service, but the battle is generally short: he who slips as he goes down into the Valley of Humiliation, every time he takes a false step invites Apollyon to assail him.10

Know Your Enemies

In the war of sexual temptations, you have three ruthless enemies who are bent on your destruction. Knowing who they are and understanding the lethal strategies they have formulated against you is a foundational step toward building up the type of preventative preparedness that will neutralize them and give you victory in your quest for sexual purity as you fight like a man. This book aims to present you with that knowledge, provide you with the necessary tools to cultivate that preparedness, and, through inspiration and encouragement from God’s Word and the truth of the gospel of grace, help propel you toward that victory.

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1John Simkins, “Valor Friday: The Legend of John Basilone,” Marine Corps Times, June 29, 2018, https://www.marinecorpstimes.com.

2Simkins, “Valor Friday.”

3Simkins, “Valor Friday.”

4Robert Lewis, Raising a Modern-Day Knight: A Father’s Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2007), 60–61.

5Heath Lambert, Finally Free: Fighting for Purity with the Power of Grace (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2013), 28.

6P. Andrew Sandlin, “One of the most tragic cultural shifts of the U.S.,” Facebook, July 30, 2021, https://www.facebook.com.

7John MacArthur, “Act Like Men,” Grace to You, June 21, 2020, https://www.gty.org.

8Charles H. Spurgeon, “February 20, Evening,” in Morning and Evening, accessed August 30, 2020, https://www.biblegateway.com.

9John D. Street, Passions of the Heart: Biblical Counsel for Stubborn Sexual Sins (Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing, 2019), 210.

10Charles H. Spurgeon, “June 13, Evening,” in Morning and Evening, accessed August 30, 2023, https://www.biblegateway.com.

PART 1

THE DEVIL

2

PUBLIC ENEMY NUMBER ONE

What Would It Be Like If…?

One of my favorite pastimes is imagining how different a particular element in life would be if a specific component were removed from it. What would our productivity be like if we never had to sleep? What would eating be like if we didn’t have taste buds? What would walking around be like if we didn’t have gravity? What would the Three Stooges be like if they didn’t have Curly? Well, I guess there’s no imagination needed there—we all know that tragic outcome. But can you imagine what our existence would be like without any enemies in it? No one looking to deceive us, defraud us, use us, abuse us, attack us, destroy us. That would certainly be a sweet foretaste of heaven. And Scripture promises that one day our Savior will destroy every single enemy: “He must reign till He has put all enemies under His feet. The last enemy that will be destroyed is death” (1 Corinthians 15:25–26).

But that day has not yet arrived. Our adversaries in this world abound. They’re alive and well and thriving, constantly seeking to do us much harm. And we unquestionably have no enemies more brutal and pernicious than the three that seek to lead us toward the slaughter of sexual sin: the devil, the flesh, and the world.

It’s important to emphasize here, however, that the devil and the world are, in the insightful words of Dr. John Street, “outward adversaries of opportunity.”1 The real archenemy is within; it’s the flesh—that fallen, sinful nature that gives birth to what the apostle James called “desires for pleasure” (4:1). It’s our “innate lust,” which, again, issues forth from the flesh and makes “allies” with the devil and the world.2 Dr. Street wisely reminded us, “Man is fully responsible for his lapse into immoral cravings; the cause of blame is deep within. Satan and the world provide the occasion, but the effectiveness of their temptation is totally dependent on the condition and receptivity of your heart.”3

It’s important to remember, therefore, that whenever I reference the devil and the world as enemies in this book, you should view this designation through the lenses of this broader context.

With this in mind, the first fiendish foe we will examine is the devil. While most Christians are familiar with what Jesus said about Satan’s nature, I’m amazed by how often we still fall victim to his insidious machinations. Based on our clear understanding of who he is, we would expect to have more victory over him than we typically do. Instead, we find ourselves falling prey to the thoughts he plants in our heads, the temptations he dangles in front of us, and the stumbling blocks he puts in our way.

Liar, Liar

Imagine personally knowing someone who is reputed to be a pathological liar, someone for whom lying seems to come as naturally as breathing. I’m referring to the type of person about whom others warn, “You can’t believe a word they say.” A bloke whose honker would make Pinocchio’s look like Voldemort’s nose. If that individual told you something that contradicted important information that your earthly father communicated to you—your father, who personifies integrity and who never once lied to you—would you entertain the words of Mr. Pants-on-Fire for even a nanosecond?

In one of His heated exchanges with the religious hypocrites of His day, Jesus highlighted the devil’s nature and character for them. He called Satan “a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44 ESV). He went so far as to say that there is no truth in him and that when he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources. This is a direct reference to the devil’s nature—meaning that it’s impossible for him to speak anything but lies because he’s got nothing but lies in him. In other words, it would be as impossible to draw truth from Satan’s diabolical lips as it would be to draw flames of fire from a bucket full of ice water in a vacuum-sealed room. This, of course, is hyperbolic. It doesn’t literally mean that Satan can never make factually true statements (as there are examples in Scripture when he clearly did), but the thrust is that he thoroughly infuses deception into all his schemes.

Don’t Fall for It…Again

And so, the most maniacal, pathological liar in the universe continues accosting the sons of Adam and the daughters of Eve with the same slimy tactic that he used on their parents at the dawn of creation. He’s a one-trick pony. We know his name, his game, his claim to fame, yet we continue swallowing his lies—hook, line, and sinker. Proverbs 1:17 says, “Surely, in vain the net is spread in the sight of any bird.” In other words, as dumb as birds are (my apologies to bird lovers), if they see you standing there seeking to trap them, they won’t come near you and walk into your trap. Unfortunately, we’ve not only seen Satan standing there seeking to trap us, but we’ve watched countless people get ensnared in his trap and destroy their lives royally. We ourselves have walked into that same trap more times than we’d like to remember and have the limp to prove it. And yet, we willingly walk ourselves right back into it on a regular basis.

It’s fitting that the very next verse in Proverbs goes on to say, “They lie in wait for their own blood, they lurk secretly for their own lives” (1:18). The sad thing is that each time we walk ourselves into Satan’s trap, we act as though the outcome will be different from what it was before. Like jumping off a skyscraper is definitely going to give us the power of flight the next time. Insanity! And it’s rightly been said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

In the next chapter, we’ll journey back to Eden and replay the infamous scene that plunged the whole of creation into utter ruin. We’ll examine the details of the insidious lie that the Serpent of old told God’s freshly minted image-bearers, and we’ll consider the severity of sin at its very core.

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1John D. Street, Passions of the Heart: Biblical Counsel for Stubborn Sexual Sins (Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing, 2019), 63–64.

2Street, Passions of the Heart, 64.

3Street, Passions of the Heart, 62.

3

THE DEVIL’S “SAME OLD, SAME OLD”

DISCONTENT, DISBELIEF, AND DEIFICATION

Discontent

To Their Hearts’ Content

Paradise was sweet for the soon-to-be Papa Adam and Mama Eve. At that point, there weren’t any little scream machines waking them up five times in the middle of the night, no terrible-twos temper tantrums to deal with, and no fig leaf diapers to change (ouch). It was like an endless honeymoon—the most epic life imaginable for the newlyweds. Perfect weather. An array of leafy, natural food-producing factories. No marital problems. No health issues. No financial struggles. No meddling in-laws. No dandruff. No taxes. No I-can’t-find-anything-in-my-closet-to-weartoday struggles. No belly-button lint. No sorrow, no grief, and no death. And to top it all off, they got to stroll around the garden while living in perfect harmony with the creator of the universe. What more could they ever want? Well, only the one thing they couldn’t have, of course.

God spared no creative expenses when He crafted an impeccably suitable world for His perfectly fashioned creatures. He did not overlook a single detail, and He gave them only one prohibition. Just one. And it wasn’t the sort of prohibition that eliminated an entire category of enjoyment for them. He didn’t say, “You shall not eat,” and then insert a period. He didn’t create their taste buds and appetites only to deprive them of the pleasure of satisfying them. It’s best to let God speak for Himself: “The Lord God commanded the man, saying, ‘Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat’” (Genesis 2:16).

Notice that the Lord didn’t tell Adam and Eve that they could only eat at certain times or only a limited amount of food at given intervals or that they were only permitted to eat from select trees on specific days. He didn’t crack open the door of permissiveness; He blew it off the hinges when He said “of every” and “freely.” And He didn’t give them bland, tasteless survival food. Here are the details, and there’s no devil in them—yet. “Out of the ground the Lord God made every tree grow that is pleasant to the sight and good for food” (v. 9). The trees all looked good. And along with being pleasant to the sight, they also undoubtedly smelled good, tasted good, and were good for them.

God didn’t just give, but He gave in lavish abundance, providing for His dust-framed handiwork an overflowing supply of riches from His divinely generous heart—a heart bursting with perfect and unquenchable love for them.

And then came the solitary restriction: “Of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die” (v. 17).

It was all theirs. Every brook and stream, every lake and ocean, every mountain and desert and valley and prairie, every forest and savanna and plain and jungle. It all belonged to them. God granted them dominion over every square inch of the planet and all that it contained. He made it for their enjoyment and pleasure, placing it all under their authority. God had made this clear from the very start: “God blessed them, and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth’” (1:28).

The Biggest Dwarf Tree Ever

My jaw nearly hit the ground when I saw it, and I’ve seen some massive trees in my time, including the famously gargantuan redwoods of California. But this one—this one was undeniably in a league of its own. They call it the árbol del Tule, and, man, was it herculean! It is located in the town of Santa María del Tule, in the Mexican state of Oaxaca. While it measures an impressive 116 feet (35.6 meters) high, its most mind-blowing feature is its girth. With a whopping circumference of 137.8 feet (42 meters), it has been ranked as the widest tree in the world.1 While I knew I couldn’t wrap my arms around it, I tried to wrap my head around its colossal size, but even that didn’t work. And if I’ve piqued your interest enough to look it up, believe me, pictures don’t do it justice.

I wonder how the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil would have stacked up against good ole árbol del Tule. The Bible doesn’t describe its dimensions, but let’s say it was close to the same size. In fact, for argument’s sake, let’s make it three times bigger—348 feet (106.1 meters) high and 413.4 feet (126 meters) in circumference. How visible would it have been from space? Right—not visible at all. Now contrast it with the scope of the entire planet, the planet over which God gave Adam and Eve complete dominion, and you’ll immediately see that it would have been more infinitesimal than a speck of dust in comparison. This gives you an idea of how little God withheld from them when juxtaposed with how much He gave them. And He withheld it for their good.

But when the tempter worked his beguiling witchcraft, Adam and Eve lost sight of every blessing they held in their grasp and became enamored by the one thing they couldn’t have. The Bible gives us an example of how an unhealthy preoccupation with what we don’t have can cause us to lose appreciation for the blessings that we’ve received. This then leads to discontent—Satan’s first tactical temptation toward Eve and one of the most destructive pitfalls man can ever stumble into.

When Everything Isn’t Enough

If you’ve ever read the book of Esther, you would have undoubtedly experienced some sense of amusement after encountering the eccentric villain, Haman—second-in-command over the entire Persian empire. King Ahasuerus had commanded all his servants to bow before Haman, and Haman’s narcissistic preoccupation with garnering homage from all the king’s subjects was all-consuming. But Haman had one little problem that came in the form of a man named Mordecai. Because of Mordecai’s unwillingness to bow before him, Haman allowed Mordecai to become his undoing. One day, after riding high with joy over what he perceived was a very favorable turn of events for him, something rather peculiar happened:

Haman went out that day joyful and with a glad heart; but when Haman saw Mordecai in the king’s gate, and that he did not stand or tremble before him, he was filled with indignation against Mordecai. Nevertheless Haman restrained himself and went home, and he sent and called for his friends and his wife Zeresh. Then Haman told them of his great riches, the multitude of his children, everything in which the king had promoted him, and how he had advanced him above the officials and servants of the king.

Moreover Haman said, “Besides, Queen Esther invited no one but me to come in with the king to the banquet that she prepared; and tomorrow I am again invited by her, along with the king. Yet all this avails me nothing, so long as I see Mordecai the Jew sitting at the king’s gate.” (Esther 5:9–13)

Quite astounding, isn’t it? Haman wasn’t just overflowing with the sorts of blessings that most people could only dream of possessing, but he was keenly aware of them all and how significant they truly were. So much so that he didn’t merely ponder them in his mind; he actually gathered an audience around him and highlighted them one by one. Sometimes we might try to excuse ungrateful people by chalking up their ungratefulness to a sense of ignorance regarding how good they really have it. Not so with Haman. He knew, and he knew well. And even against that backdrop of hyperclarity, he dared to utter a line that both confounds and convicts me: “Yet all this avails me nothing.”

Did he really say that? My astonishing wealth, my multiple children, my top-ranking position in the most powerful empire on the planet, and the distinct favor the king and queen have repeatedly given me—all this means nothing to me because this one guy won’t bow before me and give me the respect I want.