Five Bold Choices E-Book

Jay Coughlan

• Herausgeber: BroadStreet Publishing Group, LLC
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2017

Seitenzahl: 168

Beschreibung

There are times in our life when we feel stuck. Our noble desires for a successful career and family life get bogged down or derailed by the challenges before us. Whether it be a difficult circumstance or our own limiting beliefs and fears, we can't seem to get past what holds us back. Jay Coughlan was confronted with a personal hell that started with making a terrible choice to drive home after drinking with his father. This decision resulted in a horrific car crash that killed his dad. Jay provides a remarkable story of perseverance from convicted felon to successful CEO. Five Bold Choices helps you break free from the barriers that prevent you from realizing your untapped potential. What if the things you fear and avoid are portals to your success and significance as a leader at work and at home? No one seeks trials, but they can put us on a pathway toward realizing our true purpose and potential. In this book, Jay Coughlan and best-selling author Larry Julian map out five bold choices that can get you unstuck and enjoying the journey God intended for your life. This book will not only inspire you to triumph over your most challenging issues, it will provide a practical plan to persevere and realize the true potential that lies within you.

Leseprobe

Big decisions often change lives. Five Bold Choices will positively inspire you to consider bold choices that could transform your life—and the lives of many others.

—Tim Pawlenty, former Governor, State of Minnesota

Adversity brings opportunity, and how we deal with it determines whether we enjoy the journey. Five Bold Choices is a great guidebook for anyone who feels stuck and wants to get back on the path they were destined to live.

—Jerry Colangelo, Chairman, USA Basketball;former owner, Phoenix Suns and Arizona Diamondbacks

Most leadership books train readers to share their successes and hide their failures. With stories of remarkable transparency, Five Bold Choices helps the reader see failure as not something to fear but an opportunity to grow.

—Cheryl A. Bachelder, CEO, Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen, Inc.;author, Dare To Serve

Five Bold Choices blends Jay’s riveting personal story with decades of experience as a CEO. The result is a book that gives us the clarity and courage to make the bold choices that make the most out of life’s greatest challenges. This book will embolden you to action.

—Dan Buettner, National Geographic Fellow and three-timeNew York Times bestselling author of the Blue Zones:Lessons from the World’s Longest-Lived People

This little gem is worth a quick read. You will come away with some solid ideas to make your personal and professional life better.

—Tad Piper, retired Chairman and CEO,Piper Jaffray Companies

Any leader knows that bold choices either bring growth or disaster. Making bold choices wisely is the key. Based on profound personal experiences, Jay and Larry spell out five fundamentals that we all need as leaders, family members, and friends to make wise choices.

—Brad Hewitt, CEO, Thrivent Financial

Drawing upon their own professional and personal experiences, Coughlin and Julian not only offer their insights and wisdom as to how one can navigate life’s storms with clarity and conviction, but do so while leading the reader on an intimate journey emerging from their own spiritual and personal renewal. Be forewarned: reading this book will not only cause one to reexamine and reassess his or her current status in life, professional or personal, but will provide scriptural principles necessary to pursue a life of influence rather than a life of affluence. Coughlin and Julian use various passages of Scripture to drive home the strategic importance of being grounded and balanced, both spiritually and personally. I recommend Five Bold Choices to those individuals who may be re-examining their standing in life or who simply need quiet reassurance that they are on the right path.

—Dr. Alan Cureton, President,University of Northwestern St. Paul, MN

Authentic! Transparent! Powerful! A clear framework that I can personally apply to overcome challenges. Jam-packed with relevant life-changing truth! A huge thanks to Coughlan and Julian for sharing Five Bold Choices with the world.

—David Horsager, speaker, strategist, and author of The Trust Edge

BroadStreet Publishing Group, LLC

Racine, Wisconsin, USA

BroadStreetPublishing.com

Five Bold Choices: Rise Above Your Circumstances and Redefine Your Life

Copyright © 2016 Jay Coughlan and Larry Julian

ISBN-13: 978-1-4245-5314-3 (hardcover)

ISBN-13: 978-1-4245-5315-0 (e-book)

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without permission in writing from the publisher.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise noted, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Stock or custom editions of BroadStreet Publishing titles may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, ministry, fundraising, or sales promotional use. For information, please e-mail [email protected].

Cover design by Chris Garborg, GarborgDesign.com

Interior design and typesetting by Katherine Lloyd, theDESKonline.com

Printed in China

16 17 18 19 20 5 4 3 2 1

Dedications

Jay Coughlan

Jule: I delight in your peace and presence, adore your companionship, and treasure your commitment. You are my best choice ever.

Alexa, Derek, and Tyler: You motivated and inspired me to get in balance because, ultimately, you became the actual gauge for appreciating my journey in life.

Mom: Your love and encouragement has meant more to me than you’ll ever know.

Dad: Someday I’ll get the chance to say, “Thanks. Sorry. Missed You.”

Larry Julian

This book is dedicated to

all those who are determined to get up

every time they fall.

Contents

Introduction:Overcoming Failure—The Portal to Your Success

1 Reclaiming the Life You’ve Been Called to Lead

2 Forgiven by God but Not the State

3 The Ugly Truth versus the Beautiful Lie

4 Channeling Your Inner Rocky: Choosing the Harder Right over the Easier Wrong

Bold Choice 1: Clarity

5 The Burden of Busyness

6 Getting Laser-Focused on the Things That Matter Most

7 It’s Not What Happens but What Happens to What Happens

8 Finding Clarity in the Chaos

Bold Choice 2: Accountability

9 Accountability: From Fear of Failure to Embracing Failure

10 Accountability Is Motivational

11 Accountability Is an Asset, Not a Liability

12 Accountability Is an Essential Part of the Journey

Bold Choice 3: Adaptability

13 Death by Denial: Settling for Comfortably Numb

14 Convict to CEO

15 Transformed by Trials from the Inside Out

16 Change Yourself, Change Your Destiny

Bold Choice 4: Confidence

17 The Battle Within

18 Redefining Confidence by Changing the Lens from Arrogance to Humility

19 It’s Not the Mountain We Conquer, but Ourselves

20 Crossing Your Jordan River

Bold Choice 5: Balance

21 Riding the Waves of Imbalance

22 Making the Hard Choices to Get Back in Balance: Joel Manby’s Story

23 Making the Hard Choices to Get Back in Balance: Jay Coughlan’s Story

24 Making the Hard Choices to Get Back in Balance: Larry Julian’s Story

25 From Chaos to Calm

26 The Rest of the Story

Appreciating the Journey

27 Appreciating the Value of Your Journey

28 Appreciating the Second Chance at Life

29 Appreciation Focuses on What We Have Rather Than What We Don’t Have

30 Your Bold Choices Determine Your Destiny

Notes

Acknowledgments

About the Authors

Introduction:

Overcoming Failure–The Portal to Your Success

We believe difficulties and failures are opportunities and stepping-stones to a life of significance instead of obstacles to be avoided.

1

Reclaiming the Life You’ve Been Called to Lead

(Larry)

There are times in life when we feel stuck. Our noble desire for a successful career and family life gets bogged down or derailed by the challenges before us. Whether it be a difficult circumstance or our own limiting beliefs and fears, we can’t seem to get past what holds us back.

We all go through peaks and valleys as we journey through life. Sometimes our valleys are self-inflicted. We make mistakes, some big and some small, and we pay the consequences of our actions. We fail and get down on ourselves. Other times, trials happen through no fault of our own, such as an illness, unexpected death, or inopportune business misfortune. These difficulties can stop us in our tracks.

Then there are other times when we seem to be in between our peaks and valleys, a time when life is okay but not perfect. We know unresolved issues need to be addressed but set them aside because we’re busy doing other things. Our job brings security, but it’s not fulfilling. We want to be a better spouse and parent, but busyness trumps our priorities.

These times tend to breed avoidance and inaction, and we drift away from fulfilling our potential instead of driving toward it. Regardless of whether we’re stopped or drifting, we’re stuck in a place we don’t want to be and can’t seem to get out of it.

I have seen these trying times create defining moments that significantly change the trajectory of people’s lives—in both good and bad ways. I’ve seen people rise to the occasion and use their challenge as a springboard to realizing their full potential, and I’ve seen others die a slow death of mediocrity. How we respond in these moments is critical. The stories of these people always lead me to the same questions:

• Why do some people have the ability to overcome their greatest challenges while others fall victim to circumstance?

• How do people muster the courage to persevere though the tough issues in their life?

• How do people get unstuck?

The Purpose of This Book

Five Bold Choices is about helping you find (or reclaim) the real life you’ve been called to lead by helping you break through the barriers that prevent you from realizing your untapped potential.

We believe difficulties and failures are opportunities and stepping-stones to a life of significance instead of obstacles to be avoided. Five Bold Choices is based on three principles:

1.The difficulties and failures you avoid and fight are the very portals to your success and significance.

2. You cannot overcome life’s challenges on your own. You need a realistic plan, process, and support system of trusted peers and loved ones.

3. Everyone’s story matters. Your story of perseverance and overcoming will help you not only realize your potential but also inspire others and leave a lasting impact on those around you.

About the Authors: Two Different Perspectives with One Common Goal

I remember attending a small gathering of board members at a cocktail party the night before I was to give a speech for the National Speakers Association. As I was enjoying a cheese puff, a board member from New York asked me, “So, what gives you the right to speak to our group tomorrow?”

I nearly coughed out my hors d’oeuvre! However, upon reflection, I realized it was a great question. In essence, he was asking the tough questions that come with the privilege of teaching and inspiring others: Who are you? Why should we trust you? What credentials do you have?

These are fair questions worth answering before Jay and I share how we can help you persevere through your challenges to realize your potential. Let me at least start with a brief introduction.

As the author of God Is My CEO and a business leadership coach, I’ve had the privilege of getting inside the hearts and minds of CEOs and business leaders for over twenty-five years. I know what makes a good leader, and, more importantly, I know the leadership landmines that cause even the best leaders to falter. My passion is to share real stories of transparent and authentic leaders and then provide thought-provoking questions so others can find and fulfill their potential.

Jay Coughlan has served as a highly successful CEO of industry leaders such as Lawson Software and XRS Corporation. He was also an up-and-coming business leader with a promising career who was confronted with a personal hell that started with making a terrible choice to drive while intoxicated after drinking at a bar with his dad. This decision resulted in a horrific car crash that killed his dad and left him severely injured both physically and emotionally. Jay survived but faced a living nightmare that included overwhelming guilt, the prospect of a four-year prison sentence for criminal vehicular homicide, and a shattered career, family, and life.

I love the quote that goes, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”1 Jay and I are writing this book because we care about you and your potential.

First, let me say that Jay and I are complete opposites. We bring entirely different skill sets, careers, and viewpoints to this book. He’s had a successful career as a CEO; I’ve had a successful career as an author and business coach. He’s confident; I’m cautious. He’ll show you how to achieve your goals; I’ll help you discover the “why” behind your goals. He’s direct, to the point, and will motivate you to confront your truth and take action; I will help you see your blind spots and encourage small action steps to get you moving toward your goals.

We also have three things in common:

1. We are completely in alignment in our passion to help you persevere to find your potential. There are many portals that can lead to your successful journey. We believe our differing perspectives will provide options for you to consider along the way.

2.We know pain, failure, shame, and negative self-talk all too well. We understand the challenges our readers face, so we do our best to respectfully meet you at your particular point of need.

3. We know what it means to overcome and even appreciate the journey in spite of its challenges. We believe you can endure as well, and through that process leave a lasting impact on others along the way. We don’t want to insult your intelligence with platitudes of “pie in the sky” hope but give realistic hope of realizing your full potential.

And we believe our differing styles and vantage points provide the ideal process to help you get unstuck.

How This Book Will Help You

Jay will show you how to get from point A to point B. He’ll introduce the five bold choices that worked for him: clarity, accountability, adaptability, confidence, and balance. These principles have been widely used in leadership development for years, but it’s one thing to learn them and quite another to boldly live them through your choices and actions.

In each chapter, Jay will share how each choice helped him on his four-year journey from convicted felon to successful CEO. While he is compassionate, his advice will be direct, to the point, and brutally honest. He is a “get it done” kind of guy. Trust me when I say he has the ability to move people to action. If I know one thing about Jay, it’s that he’s big on accountability.

After he shares his practical advice, I will supplement his thoughts with commentary from a wide range of leaders, which I’ve taken from my books and coaching practice.

Final Thoughts

On the surface, business leaders genuinely seek to grow their business and their capacity as leaders. However, behind almost every business problem lies a deeper internal struggle. I’ve found people in all positions, from CEO to line employees, wrestling with challenging dilemmas and trying to make sense of situations that have no simple solutions. These are talented people who want to make a difference but are stuck for one reason or another.

At the core, they want meaning and purpose in their work, they seek clarity and direction in the midst of their confusion, and they desire a solution to the constant struggle to balance work and family. They want to live out their faith at work but feel constrained within a diverse business culture. Most struggle alone with these issues, and alone is not a good place to be. Rarely have I found that business leaders fail because of their core competencies. More often than not, they fail because they can’t bring themselves to confront and overcome the nagging issues head-on.

As an author, coach, and mentor, my role is to draw out the truth of situations and expose the lies we often tell ourselves. My role in this book is to be your coach, advocate, and cheerleader. For me, the most powerful way to do that is through true stories of transparent leaders who risk being vulnerable to share the real story behind their public persona—the times when faith trumped fear, humility took precedence over pride, and serving others superseded self-serving.

One last note before I introduce Jay to share his story. Clearly, it’s unique and dramatic—the kind of story Hollywood loves. Superficially, it seems like an entertaining rags-to-riches tale of a shameful convicted felon who finds his faith and turns his life around to become a successful CEO. This is true, but there’s so much more to it. He gets to the core of what we all struggle with: overcoming guilt and fear, confronting the challenges we avoid, and persevering despite the constant barrage of obstacles we face daily.

Regardless of where you are in life, I think you’ll find Jay’s experience both inspiring and practical. For some, it will be a faith story—one of redemption, forgiveness, and a second chance. For others, it will be a practical manual for any business leader, entrepreneur, or organization that seeks a solid business plan and process in the midst of turbulent times. Or perhaps it will be both. However you want to view Jay’s story, we believe this book can help you persevere and appreciate the journey along the way.

2

Forgiven by God but Not the State

(Jay)

Here is my story, as shared in Larry’s book God Is My Success: Transforming Adversity into Your Destiny:

It was just getting dark. My dad and I were having a great time hunting together and drinking, but it was time to get home. I was racing home with my dad to get back in time for my son’s third birthday party.

The next thing I remember was waking up in excruciating pain. I had a neck brace on and was lying on a gurney in an ambulance. I could hear the paramedic saying, “No … can’t deal with this kind of injury … gotta go to Hennepin County!”

The next time I woke up, I looked up and saw all these bright lights with a lot of people running around. My mom and my wife, Jule, were standing over me. The only thing I knew was that I was in a lot of pain. Each move was a huge deal. Apparently I had shattered my hip. I also remember saying, “That really hurts,” when the doctor moved my hand.

I saw the expression on my mom’s face and knew something was terribly wrong. Mom looked at me and softly said, “Your dad didn’t make it.” My dad died. As I put the pieces together that we had been in an accident, somehow, I came to the realization that I had done it—I killed my dad. I remember letting out a scream and crying and trying to rip myself out of the bed I was strapped down on. I didn’t know where I thought I was going, because I couldn’t walk or even move. I was just trying to leave. I was at an ugly place. I wanted to run somewhere, to go somewhere, to get away from the pain…

Then the physical pain stopped. Taking its place was an emotional pain. It was ten times worse. I dreamed that I had killed my dad and nothing else mattered. I screamed in agony.

I woke up and realized that the nightmare was real. I was just in a world of hurt—in a drug-induced haze with an empty pit in my stomach. I was in a nightmare, awake. I was lying alone in a hospital room, and there was this clock with big black numbers on the wall at the end of my bed. I remember staring at the red second hand as it went around the dial. I held a dispenser in my right hand that dispensed morphine. It was supposed to help with the pain, but the pain never went away. I kept going in and out of consciousness. I looked up at the clock and then closed my eyes. I had these terrible, terrible dreams. I don’t even know how to describe them because they were so bizarre and ugly. Then I woke up soaking wet from perspiration. It felt like four or five hours had gone by. It had only been three minutes.

I didn’t care about anything. I have a wife and three kids. They never came to my mind once, and they’re as important to me as anything. I could see my wife talking to me, but I couldn’t hear her. I couldn’t hear my mom. I couldn’t hear the clergy who came to talk to me. Whatever they were saying, I couldn’t hear it. I just remember knowing I was responsible for killing my dad. My dad, my best friend, who I called every week for the last fifteen years, wasn’t there—because I killed him. That’s all I remembered. That’s all I focused on.