Forgiveness: A Catholic Approach E-Book

R. Scott Hurd

• Herausgeber: anna ruggieri
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2019

Beschreibung

This revised and expanded edition of Forgiveness: A Catholic Approach will equip and inspire you to move toward forgiving those who have hurt you. With the power of God's grace, you can work through the process of forgiveness and find freedom in Christ.

This book teaches all about forgiveness: what forgiveness is and what it isn't; how to forgive and why. It addresses questions that Catholics grapple with today more than ever before: forgiving the Church; working with anger; forgiving when we can't reconcile; forgiving and not condoning behavior; and how forgiveness doesn't mean we forget, but helps us remember differently.

Filled with many vignettes of contemporary transgressions that have been transformed through acts of forgiveness-including situations of domestic violence, the Rwandan genocide, and the attacks of September 11, 2001-author Scott Hurd insightfully includes a chapter on "Forgiving the Church," which many believers will find helpful as we continue to struggle with the revelations of sexual abuse by clergy and its cover-up.

Hurd's Forgiveness: A Catholic Approach faithfully reveals the many misunderstood dimensions of forgiveness: it's not something to be earned, forced, or deadline-driven. Forgiving is a decision, a process, and often a lifelong journey.

Leseprobe

Praise for Forgiveness

“In this book, Forgiveness: A Catholic Approach, Scott Hurd gently leads people, hurt by the injustices of others, on a journey in which they meet the mercy and unconditional love of God. The reader then is challenged to give this love to those who offended them. It is a journey of encounter: knowing pain, seeing Jesus’ pain on the cross, and responding to the pain with the light of love. This is a very important book that I highly recommend to those who want to heal and deepen their Catholic faith.”

— Robert Enright, PhD, Professor of Educational Psychology,University of Wisconsin-Madison, and Founding Board Member,International Forgiveness Institute, Inc.

“This book is the answer for all who want to learn how to forgive. Special attention is paid to those who have experienced abuse by an intimate partner. With compelling real-life stories and deep insights, Mr. Hurd describes how the process of forgiveness is both possible and necessary, even in abusive circumstances.”

— Sharon A. O’Brien, PhD, Director, Catholics for FamilyPeace Education and Research Initiative,National Catholic School of Social Service,The Catholic University of America

“In a world where unforgiveness can be a cultural badge of honor, this book instructs us on the power of forgiveness—not a weakness, but a liberating grace. Who among us doesn’t need this message of forgiveness?”

—Alexis Walkenstein, national speakerand host of Mary’s Touch radio program

“Scott Hurd in his new revised edition of Forgiveness: A Catholic Approach provides readers with a powerful and timely manual on the art of forgiveness— an essential virtue if there ever was one—for these terribly divided times in which we find ourselves living. Written from a Catholic perspective but with lessons applicable for all regardless of religious belief, Hurd takes readers through an exploration of forgiveness in its entirety: from why we forgive; to what we forgive; and how we go about doing it on a personal, familial, and societal level. He finishes off with ten concrete steps on how we ourselves can make the journey from hurt through to forgiveness. Filled with many vignettes of contemporary transgressions that have been transformed through acts of forgiveness—including situations of domestic violence, the Rwandan genocide, and the attacks of September 11, 2001—Hurd insightfully includes in his book a chapter on “Forgiving the Church,” which many believers will find helpful as we continue to struggle with the revelations of sexual abuse by clergy and its cover-up. For those who work in the social ministry of the Church, Hurd’s book also provides thoughtful discussion questions after each chapter, which makes this book an excellent choice for small group discussion on this essential Christian virtue. In a world and in a Church in desperate need of reconciliation, this book makes an important contribution to the steps we all must take to bring healing to ourselves and the world.”

—Tom Dobbins Jr. is the Justice and Peace Coordinator ofCatholic Charities of the Archdiocese of New York,a Producer for the JustLove radio broadcast on Sirius/XM’sCatholic Channel, and the National Chair of the RoundtableAssociation of Catholic Diocesan Social Action Directors.

“Scott Hurd’s Forgiveness: A Catholic Approach faithfully reveals the many misunderstood dimensions of forgiveness: it’s not something to be earned, forced, or deadline driven. Forgiving is a decision, a process, and often a lifelong journey. This accessible, wise text sheds light on common obstacles to forgiveness like demonization and paralyzing guilt while acknowledging the courage it takes to move through incredible pain and immense anger. Forgiveness isn’t about forgetting the hurt, it’s about finding new ways to remember God’s boundless mercy.”

—Krisanne Vaillancourt Murphy, Executive Directorof Catholic Mobilizing Network and Co-author ofAdvocating for Justice: An Evangelical Visionfor Transforming Systems and Structures

Forgiveness

A Catholic Approach

By R. Scott Hurd

Foreword byKathryn J. Hermes, FSP

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019947244

CIP data is available.

ISBN-10: 0-8198-2691-X

ISBN-13: 978-0-8198-2691-6

Many manufacturers and sellers distinguish their products through the use of trademarks. Any trademarked designations that appear in this book are used in good faith but are not authorized by, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

Some Scripture quotations contained herein are from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Some Scripture texts in this work are taken from the New American Bible with Revised New Testament and Revised Psalms © 1991, 1986, 1970, Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, Washington, D.C. and are used by permission of the copyright owner. All rights reserved. No part of the New American Bible may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

One Scripture quotation is taken from The Holy Bible: Contemporary English Version, copyright © 1995, American Bible Society, 1865 Broadway, New York, NY 10023, and are used by permission.

Excerpts from the English translation of the Catechism of the Catholic Church for use in the United States of America, copyright © 1994, United States Catholic Conference, Inc. — Libreria Editrice Vaticana. Used with permission.

Cover design by Rosana Usselmann

Cover photo: istockphoto.com/© urfinguss

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

“P” and PAULINE are registered trademarks of the Daughters of Saint Paul.

Original edition copyright © 2011, R. Scott Hurd.

Revised edition copyright © 2019, R. Scott Hurd.

Published by Pauline Books & Media, 50 Saint Pauls Avenue, Boston, MA 02130-3491

www.pauline.org

Pauline Books & Media is the publishing house of the Daughters of Saint Paul, an international congregation of women religious serving the Church with the communications media.

To Diane, Charlie, Winnie, and Isabelin gratitude for the love we share.

Contents

Foreword

PART I

WHY FORGIVE?

CHAPTER 1

A Lovely Idea?

Forgiveness can be difficult, but it is a beautiful gift of love.

CHAPTER 2

Forgive for You

Forgiving benefits us—physically, spiritually, and relationally.

CHAPTER 3

Forgive for Others

Our forgiveness blesses those we forgive,and indeed all those around us.

CHAPTER 4

Forgive for God

Forgiveness glorifies God and reveals his love to the world.

PART II

HALLMARKS OF FORGIVENESS

CHAPTER 5

No Fair!

Forgiveness isn’t fair. It’s an expression of love and mercy.

CHAPTER 6

No Exceptions

Everyone is a candidate for forgiveness—no matter what they’ve done.

CHAPTER 7

No Strings Attached

Christian forgiveness is unconditional and unlimited.

CHAPTER 8

Forgive and Forget?

We can’t forgive and forget.But forgiveness helps us remember differently.

CHAPTER 9

Stand Your Ground

Forgiving another doesn’t condone what was done to us.

CHAPTER 10

Free, Not Forced

True forgiveness is always a free gift.

CHAPTER 11

Kiss and Make Up?

We can always forgive,but we can’t always reconcile.

CHAPTER 12

Close Your Umbrella

A forgiving heart is open to God’s forgiveness.

CHAPTER 13

All Things Are Possible

Radical forgiveness is possible only with God’s grace.

CHAPTER 14

Forgiving the Church

Forgiveness heals wounds and leads to new beginnings.

PART III

HOW TO FORGIVE

CHAPTER 15

Pray It Through

Prayer is essential to forgiveness.

CHAPTER 16

Receive God’s Forgiveness

To forgive others, first seek God’s forgiveness.

CHAPTER 17

Give What You Receive

The role of Confession in forgiveness.

CHAPTER 18

Broken Bread for Broken People

The role of the Eucharist in forgiveness.

CHAPTER 19

Forgive Yourself

To forgive others, we must forgive ourselves.

CHAPTER 20

Walk in Their Shoes

Seeking to understand and empathize with our offender.

CHAPTER 21

Lower the Bar

Lowering our expectations of others helps us forgive them.

CHAPTER 22

What Did I Do?

Did we play a role in the situation that led to our hurt?

CHAPTER 23

Get Mad, Just Don’t Get Even

Understanding anger and its purpose.

CHAPTER 24

Let’s Talk About It

The benefits of sharing our feelingsand experiences with another.

CHAPTER 25

Keep on Keeping On

Forgiveness requires patience and time.

CHAPTER 26

Check Your Pulse

Signs of authentic and successful forgiveness.

CHAPTER 27

The Choice Is Ours

Whether we forgive or not determines the person we become.

APPENDIX

A Final Word … About Where to Begin

Practical steps to take when we need to forgive.

Notes

Acknowledgments

Foreword

Not long ago, I was on a speaking tour, offering healing retreats in parishes on the West Coast. A woman in her early forties, vivacious and talkative, cornered me to tell me how Jesus had shown her one day how many people she needed to forgive. It had been a wake-up call, a door to freedom she never expected. Three days later, as I settled in for a six-hour flight home to Boston, the Lord opened my eyes in the same way. Face after face was brought before my unsuspecting heart. I started to panic. I felt I had a lifetime of people to forgive. By the time we touched down in Boston, I was exhausted.

Maybe the questions that were in my mind have also troubled you:

Where do I begin?

Is forgiveness meant to set things right between me and the person who has hurt me?

Do others need to know I’ve forgiven them?

What if I can’t forgive someone?

Why do I have to work through forgiveness when I’ve done nothing wrong?

Is there something that I really need to forgive myself for?

I was delighted to be asked to write this foreword for Forgiveness: A Catholic Approach by Scott Hurd. This book teaches all about forgiveness: what forgiveness is and what it isn’t; how to forgive and why. It addresses questions that Catholics grapple with today more than ever before: forgiving the Church; working with anger; forgiving when we can’t reconcile; forgiving and not condoning behavior; and how forgiveness doesn’t mean we forget, but helps us remember differently.

Originally published in 2011, Forgiveness: A Catholic Approach has been reprinted twice, translated into German and Korean, and now is available in this revised and expanded edition. Its many readers can testify to the wisdom of Scott Hurd’s approach. The real-life stories that begin each chapter and Scott’s simple, clear, humorous and compassionate style have made this book a go-to resource for those who struggle with this part of the spiritual life.

So perhaps you’re wondering if you really need a book on forgiveness, or you might be hoping that maybe, just maybe, this book will provide the support you need to move on after being hurt.

When we talk about forgiveness, we are often talking about painful wounds and complex situations that just don’t seem possible to right. It greatly suits the Evil One to convince us that we can’t forgive, don’t need to forgive, don’t know how to forgive, or shouldn’t forgive. That’s when a wise mentor or spiritual guide really comes in handy. That person can cut through the confused beliefs and expose the lies, pointing out the way forward.

Scott devotes the third part of his book to “how to” forgive: how to pray it through, how to receive God’s forgiveness, the role of confession, the role of the Eucharist in forgiveness, and how to forgive ourselves. Without the element of God’s power, it can indeed seem impossible to heal and extend mercy to another. I think it is important to remember that no book can make it easy to forgive. But this book points the way. It clarifies. It suggests. It will give you the key to the freedom of a forgiving heart.

As chapter 13 says: “Radical forgiveness is possible only with God’s grace.” And because we are assured of God’s grace, radical forgiveness is, therefore, possible. I remember, when I was much younger, struggling to forgive a particular person. One day in confession I brought before the Lord, once again, how I was unable to forgive this person. The priest said to me, “Yes, you can!” I was so shocked I couldn’t respond. I wanted to tell him how much I had tried. And failed. “Yes, you can,” he repeated. “You can because Jesus died for you and made it possible for you to forgive.” I left the Church that morning with a lighter heart, the tangled and confused notions of what was expected of me were clarified by a simple truth: “Jesus has made it possible for you to forgive.” It was only the beginning of a blessed journey, not yet the end, but something had shifted for me that morning.

I must admit that at this point in my life, I have become resigned to the fact that forgiveness is a part of my life and will remain so until the grave: forgiving others, asking for forgiveness from others, and forgiving myself. But isn’t that the point? Isn’t that the tremendous gift we receive through Jesus Christ, who has forgiven us? He has freed us from hatred, from self-hatred, and from selfishness so that we might seek, in halting steps, to live in love—to live together the love of Jesus.

How blessed would we be if we had this grace! We do!

Sr. Kathryn Hermes, FSP

Author of Reclaim Regret: How God Heals Life’s Disappointments