Reclaim Regret E-Book

Kathryn J.

• Herausgeber: anna ruggieri
• Kategorie: Religion und Spiritualität
• Sprache: Englisch
• Veröffentlichungsjahr: 2019

Beschreibung

This book by bestselling author Sr. Kathryn Hermes can help you reshape past regret and disappointment in the context of your life story. Real-world examples, powerful meditations, and Sr. Kathryn’s own experiences can transform a feeling of midlife stagnation into spiritual liberation.
Learn about God’s four promises to you through sacred scripture and prayer; they will help you forgive yourself, encounter God’s love and healing, and embrace spiritual freedom.

Leseprobe

RECLAIM REGRET

HOW GOD HEALS LIFE’S DISAPPOINTMENTS

By Kathryn J. Hermes, FSP

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Hermes, Kathryn, author.

Title: Reclaim regret : how God heals life's disappointments / written by Kathryn J. Hermes, FSP.

Description: Boston : Pauline Books & Media, 2018. | Includes bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2018002134| ISBN 9780819865137 (pbk.) | ISBN 0819865133 (pbk.)

Subjects: LCSH: Consolation. | Disappointment--Religious aspects--Christianity. | Regret--Religious aspects--Christianity. | Healing--Religious aspects--Christianity. Classification: LCC BV4905.3 .H4725 2018 | DDC 248.8/6--dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018002134

Many manufacturers and sellers distinguish their products through the use of trademarks. Any trademarked designations that appear in this book are used in good faith but are not authorized by, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

Unless otherwise noted, the Scripture quotations contained herein are from the New Revised Standard Version Bible: Catholic Edition, copyright © 1989, 1993, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Other Scripture texts in this work are taken from the New American Bible, Revised Edition © 2010, 1991, 1986, 1970 Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, Washington, D.C. and are used by permission of the copyright owner. All Rights Reserved. No part of the New American Bible may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Cover design by Rosana Usselmann

Cover photo: Kintsugi art on cover is made by Morty Bachar, Lakeside Pottery Studio.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

“P” and PAULINE are registered trademarks of the Daughters of St. Paul.

Copyright © 2018, Daughters of St. Paul

Published by Pauline Books & Media, 50 Saint Pauls Avenue, Boston, MA 02130-3491

Printed in the U.S.A.

www.pauline.org

Pauline Books & Media is the publishing house of the Daughters of St. Paul, an international congregation of women religious serving the Church with the communications media.

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Contents

Foreword

Acknowledgments

Introduction

BOOK ONE

PART ONEGod’s First Promise to You: I want to throw you a party

Chapter One“My son . . . everything I have is yours.”

Chapter TwoDiscover the Patterns of Regret in Your Life

Chapter ThreeGod Wants to Establish Something New

PART TWOGod’s Second Promise to You: Look at me, and you will know who you are

Chapter One“Be freed from your disability.”

Chapter TwoGet in Touch with Your Pain

Chapter ThreeJesus Sees Who You Really Are

PART THREEGod’s Third Promise to You: You see your failure, I see your future

Chapter One“Those who drink will never be thirsty.”

Chapter TwoStop Building Your Life Around Regrets

Chapter ThreeGod’s Loving Embrace Reveals Your Future

PART FOURGod’s Fourth Promise to You: My light will radiate from you for all the world to see

Chapter One“Go in peace.”

Chapter TwoEncounter God’s Mercy

Chapter ThreeThe Light of Christ Will Shine in You

BOOK TWO

Introduction

Meditation OneFind Healing from Dark Feelings of Regret

Meditation TwoFind Healing from Suffering and Feelings of Powerlessness

Meditation ThreeFind Healing from Failures and Embarrassments

Meditation FourFind Healing from Feelings of Unworthiness and Fear of Rejection

Meditation FiveFind Healing from Self-Accusation and Guilt

Meditation SixFind Healing from Fear and Disappointments

Conclusion

AppendixDiscussion Questions

Foreword

You might be wondering about the meaning of this book’s stunning cover and the beautifully repaired piece of pottery on it that has no doubt caught your eye. Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing ceramic with lacquer mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. The bright golden lines visibly incorporate the repair into the piece emphasizing newness. Rather than disguising the brokenness, the radiant repairs help us to see the breakage as part of the history and beauty of the pottery that has been made whole again.

Reclaim Regret speaks to the brokenness that all of us experience at one time or another because of unresolved regrets. But, it’s much more than that. This book provides a way to reflect on our hurts and to heal from them. Most of us, at some point, feel stuck in our lives due to past experiences. We might fear moving forward or we might believe that moving past something is impossible. Yet, we often can’t quite figure out what is wrong, why we feel this way, and why our attempts to feel happy and to move forward have continued to fail.

The process of healing from regret is even further complicated by the fact that most of us are very busy. We are unable to take the time to reflect on our past because we are up to our elbows in unending projects and mired in a constant effort to check off endless to-do lists. We feel the need to keep up, and we are just too busy to take the time to examine the problem. I would even venture to say that some of us operate in this kind of survival mode for many years, perhaps because we are purposefully trying to forget something painful, or more specifically, our haunting regrets.

We attempt to get by, to survive by maintaining the hectic, numbing pace of our lives. But while we are keeping so busy, suddenly something happens that makes us take stock of our lives. As the author, Sr. Kathryn Hermes, puts it in the introduction: “Something happens. You are stopped in your tracks.” She lists a myriad of scenarios that can cause this to occur and explains, “As you absorb the pain of what is happening, the important things begin to surface.” That’s when the “could haves” and “should haves” begin to spin around in our brains. As we begin to grapple with the weight and reality of our regrets, we might be surprised by sudden agonizing pain. We might not know where to turn and feel so overwhelmed that we try to stuff the uncomfortable feelings back down inside to deal with at another time—or possibly never.

However, to find a healthy balance in our lives, we all must face our regrets with God’s help at some point. Every single one of us experiences regret. As Sr. Kathryn points out, “Regret comes in all shapes and sizes.” When we feel overcome by regret, we might ask ourselves some of the following questions: “What can I do with all of the new questions that have surfaced as a result of a traumatic event?” or “What can I do when I am jolted by an event that forces me to reflect upon the evocative past?” or “What can I do with the self doubt and the thoughts that haunt me?” And most importantly, “What role can my faith play in this process of healing from my regret?”

I know without a doubt that faith has played an indispensable role in my life. I wrote about my crooked path in my spiritual memoir The Kiss of Jesus: How Mother Teresa and the Saints Helped Me to Discover the Beauty of the Cross (Ignatius Press). When I encountered difficulties, abuse, and uncertainties in my life, the beautiful virtue of faith kept me moving forward—one step at a time. I have learned from personal experience that we are meant to turn to the virtues of faith, hope, and love when we experience pain and regret. The theological virtues are like muscles that need to be flexed and nourished. When we face regret, we need to pray for an increase in these virtues because we need God’s help to heal.

Sr. Kathryn skillfully shows us how to enter into this healing process with courage. She also reminds us that healing from our regrets is the same as entering into “the amazing mystery of God’s love.” In Reclaim Regret, Sr. Kathryn takes us gently by the hand and helps us through the steps of healing so that we might experience God’s beautiful promise of newness. Through modern-day stories, Scripture, Church teaching, and concrete exercises, this book leads readers through a process that will end in the discovery of great hope in the midst of sometimes agonizing regrets. With the help of Sr. Kathryn’s astute insights and God’s healing grace, all your painful mistakes, abuse, or hurts can be transformed. With God’s help, Reclaim Regret can help us all to embrace our own unique lives and to be at peace.

DONNA-MARIE COOPER O’BOYLE

author and EWTN TV host

Acknowledgments

I want to express my gratitude to God, who has allowed me to walk with many different people along the path of finding hope in the midst of regrets. For those who have entrusted me with their hearts’ work, I thank you. I also owe a debt of gratitude to Sr. Maria Grace Dateno, FSP, for believing in this project; and to Sr. Theresa Aletheia Noble, FSP, who had the vision and editorial skill to bring it to life.

The stories in this book have been inspired by the people who have entrusted some of their darkest memories and regrets to me over the years. Their stories have been blended together and names are changed for the sake of privacy.

Introduction

You are busy. Life happens. You can barely keep up. You know that you could be thinking about or doing more important things, but you don’t have the time to stop and consider what they would be, much less do them.

And then something happens. You are stopped in your tracks. A spouse leaves. A friend dies. A job is lost. Opportunities pass you by. A child makes decisions that break your heart. As you absorb the pain of what is happening, the important things begin to surface. What was hidden suddenly seems so obvious. The knowledge of what you could have done, should have done, for years perhaps, or years ago, leaves you feeling profoundly empty, or guilty, or depressed.

If only you could do things over again . . .

Regrets come in all shapes and sizes. Navigating the questions, self-doubt, and haunting what-ifs of your life can be difficult. Facing how your regrets may have turned you into a person you never wanted to be is even more difficult. Yet no one escapes this part of life. It’s the nightfall between yesterday and tomorrow, between the past and the future, between sunset and the coming dawn.

You may feel bad about something in your life that has happened to you or someone you love. You may be blaming yourself for a number of things. Perhaps you have given up hope that you will ever be able to retrieve what you have lost in life or fix what has been broken. A woman once shared with me that she still wonders what she did wrong after her marriage ended in divorce over twenty years ago. To this day, she wishes she could go to bed and never wake up. She is not alone in her suffering.